Sue & Tom Don't Tell the Bride

-From the depths of the Earth...

-Oh, God.

-..to the crests of the mountains...

-My legs have gone weird.

..these crusading grooms must rise to the challenge...

I love that girl. I love her.

..to plan a wedding worthy of their betrothed.

-Oh, my God.

-What's he done?

He just chucked my dress.

These fair maidens are bound by contract to be legally wedded...

God, no.

..but have no say in their big day.

Is it just going to all be last minute and just rubbish?

Oh, I hate it. I need to get out of it.

Can these hapless heroes marshal their armies..

I love her but she's a bitch when she's like this.

..vanquish dragons...

Oh, God!

Do as your future mother-in-law tells you.

..and conquer all before them...

Get out of my pub!

..or will they be defeated?

I'm not doing it.

Tonight, survivalist groom Tom...

If you get hungry, you can eat them

but you must never eat other berries.

..puts his skills to the test

to plan an ambitious survival-themed wedding...

I need camouflage netting,

stuff like that to make it look like the apocalypse.

..on a beautiful remote Scottish island.

Look at that.

While his more traditional bride-to-be Sue...

I'm panicking now because I'm thinking, "What am I going to get?"

Wow.

..dreams of a big day in a stately home.

I could just cry because I want this so bad.

-He's planning to get back to nature...

-Bloody lovely!

..with a rugged woodland ceremony.

It's awesome. It is awesome.

-Can this outdoorsy groom...

-Wargh!

..pull off the wedding of a lifetime...

Oh, my God! What are they?

..or will his wild dreams...

I'm freezing!

..end in a nightmare?

She's probably thinking, "Oh, my God, what's he done?"

He takes us to a forest in a big puffy dress

in the freezing cold in the middle of October.

That's Dad's head.

Whee!

Is Dad silly?

Stockton-on-Tees couple Tom and Sue slipped into each other's lives

at an engagement party 11 years ago.

Like that! Yeah!

Saw this lovely-looking girl and I thought to myself, "Phwoar!"

-And I went over and I started chatting to you, didn't I?

-Yeah.

And I showed off a little bit about my car.

You made it out to be you had this really posh, exciting, brand-new car

that had been ordered all the way from Italy.

It was a Fiat Cinquecento. It was half a car. A little car.

But Tom's little car set them on the road to a big future.

The minute I set eyes on her, I just knew she was for me

and every day I love you more and I didn't even think it was possible.

He's very caring and he would do anything for anybody.

-You are good.

-Thanks.

-I do love you.

Now, love birds Sue and Tom even work together, running their own business.

-That's 9.95, please.

-Thank you very much.

-Thank you very much.

It was Sue's hobby and we turned it into an arts and crafts business.

Enjoy. If you get stuck, give us a shout.

Cheers.

But if Tom's job was influenced by his fiancee's hobby,

his own hobby is much manlier.

Tom is a survivalist.

It's a little survival tin.

You get a candle and a saw, and there's a compass,

some wire so you can catch rabbits with snares and stuff.

-Tom!

-It'll be fine. It'll be fine.

-No, don't!

Right, no! Tom!

Tom's got this huge idea

that there's going to be some kind of problem

and he's going to need to survive so he has survival stuff everywhere.

How cool is that?

So Tom's prepared for whatever life might throw at him,

especially since the birth of daughter Holly.

Holly's birth was really, really difficult.

She was stuck inside Sue for 50 hours.

When they resuscitated her, I heard her cry,

all my emotions came out in one go and I burst out into tears.

It changed me on a core level.

I think that's a lot of the reasons I'm into all this survival

because I know that, if anything ever went wrong,

I know that I could look after her.

Oh, careful.

And she could get food to eat and she'd be warm and safe.

Yes.

Tom knows he can provide safety

but there is one thing he hasn't been able to provide until now.

Every time we try to get married, something crops up.

Holly come along,

so it's sort of like one thing after another.

Marriage is absolutely everything to me now

because I've grown up with my mam and dad always being together

until my mam died.

It was really stable and that's what I want for Holly.

THEY SING

We've got a home, we've got a baby, we've got a great family.

That is the only piece that is missing.

Last piece of the jigsaw, isn't it?

Having waited so long for her wedding,

traditional girl Sue knows exactly what she wants.

So this is my mam and dad when they got married.

I think there, I think that's Nana's mam and dad.

Lived in the same road all my life.

Got to be near my family, got to be traditional.

Just something elegant, lovely. All of our close friends

and family there, everybody that's been there for us, to be there.

But for ten years, Tom's dreamed of a wedding that is less storybook

and more SAS handbook.

It's going to be an adventure.

We'll sort of put me skills to the test

as well as allowing me to organise an amazing wedding.

We just want them to have a lovely wedding but knowing Thomas,

I haven't got a clue what he's going to do.

He could do anything. He's a loose cannon.

That goes over your head.

The wedding, to me, is metaphorical,

and that's that we've survived a lot.

And then that goes on there like that.

And I think she will get that.

At least, I hope she will.

Give me a kiss.

Sometimes I wonder why but I don't.

You'd think, by now, he knows what I like,

-what I don't like, what I hate.

-The pressure is unbelievable.

So the pressure is on Tom now to...

Honestly, if I get this wrong, I am...

She won't admit it but I am dead in the water.

-No, I'd make you regret it.

-I've no doubt in my mind!

It's time for the couple to say goodbye.

-Give me kisses.

-Yeah, give Dad kisses.

On hand are their nearest and dearest.

Baby Holly, two of Sue's bridesmaids and Tom's mum Frida.

-Bye!

-Bye-bye.

He is just an absolute darling and I feel like she is a daughter

to us, I don't look upon her as a daughter-in-law.

-Be strong, because you will set me off.

-I love you so much.

-Just look after yourself.

-I'll be fine. I'll be fine.

-We will survive this, man.

-Don't forget to brush your teeth.

-Give Daddy a kiss.

-Love you.

Bye-bye, Holly, bye-bye, love you. Bye-bye!

Tom and Sue plan to have no contact

until their wedding day in three weeks' time.

The first time you have been apart.

I'll be all right, they will be all right as well. I'm hard.

MUSIC: Walk On The Wild Side by Lou Reed

# Hey babe Take a walk on the wild side. #

Armed with all the wedding planning essentials,

Tom will be staying with best man, Derek.

Now then. All right, mate?

Tom and Derek are old friends and workmates

and while Tom is an action man type, Derek is a little more cautious.

My head is going in a million different places

-and Derek will be the voice of reason.

-What is it all about?

-It's going to be survival-themed.

-Right.

-It's going to bloody kill us but I'm going to have them camping...

-Right.

-..in tepees.

-OK, hey, yeah.

We are going to have the wedding, hopefully, all going well,

on an island off an island on the west coast of Scotland.

My dad lived on Erraid which is the island I really want to go for.

Pretty close to Scotland but it is a long way into Scotland.

It is about ten hours altogether.

I can see a few problems.

I think the big one is actually just getting guests up to the wedding.

Camping in October on a remote Scottish island won't be easy.

I think that sounds really, really, erm...

THEY LAUGH

-It is really, really...

-Really...

THEY LAUGH

Demonstrating his commitment to his survivalist theme, Tom is shunning

creature comforts and camping out in the wilds

of Derek's back garden.

I used to do it when I was eight, camp in the back garden,

but not since then. I definitely prefer it in the warm.

And it is not just the great outdoors that is worrying Derek.

It is just the distance.

Could be tricky but hopefully, hopefully people will want to come.

The next day...

Morning.

And thankfully, Tom has survived his first night under canvas

but the realities of being away from his family are already hitting home.

Missed Sue and missed Holly a lot.

I didn't get to sleep for a while because I kept turning

the torch on and looking at the photograph.

Still, this is no time for sentiment.

Road trip. Road trip!

It's time to head off and plan a whole wedding outdoors.

Ten hours away in Scotland on a remote Scottish island

off another Scottish island.

Erraid is just off the island of Mull,

and Tom and Derek will need to catch a ferry there tomorrow morning.

The boys have spent the night out in the Scottish wild

but they seem to be missing a few survival essentials.

Forgot the tin opener so I'm going to have to use a knife.

Get your proper tin opener out.

I thought you were going to use your teeth!

Tom might be a little unprepared but he's a survivor

and he is prepared to be unprepared.

We checked and there wasn't enough tent pegs and so we had

to improvise and the tent pegs are made out of a tree that I found

over there and I got me little knife and I whittled it down

-and I am proud of that.

-HE LAUGHS

She'll not have any, any idea that we are here now.

HE CHUCKLES

Back in civilisation, Sue is out with two of her bridesmaids

and all thoughts are on a more elegant day.

George Clooney has just been married.

You know, more like a big celeb wedding.

It says the dress she is just wearing there was £1,125

and that is not even her wedding dress.

I bet you'll get like a £10 dress.

I'll probably get a dress from Primark.

I don't know what you're laughing at,

your dresses will be from the market or something. Half price.

That's if you are wearing dresses.

Do you think I will have a big bash like he does?

The other day, my cousin came up and he was like, "You do know that

"Tom's going to have something like a stupid Star Wars

"or a Star Trek-themed wedding."

I was like, "No, everyone stop saying this to me!"

-I dread to think what he is going to have.

-I know.

I've just tried not to think.

No, I wouldn't want to.

If I don't think, then I can't panic.

I wouldn't worry, Sue,

he's not planning a futurist wedding on a different planet...

More back in time to a different world.

Our wedding planners have reached the ferry to the Scottish island

of Mull, but it's soon clear that distance isn't the only tricky thing

about Tom's survivalist wedding.

I know my dad used to always say, "Oh, Mull, it's horrendous weather.

"Sometimes it is beautiful, sometimes it is horrible."

I just hope, hope, hope we get it on a beautiful day.

I am really starting to worry now. What have I got myself into, mate?

Right over there, started over there but hopefully, it is...

-It's just that changeability, isn't it?

-Yeah.

MUSIC: Did You Hear The Rain by George Ezra

# Oh, did you hear the rain?

# Oh, the rain. #

As the boys drive across Mull, it becomes clear that the biggest

risk to his remote wedding plans could be the weather.

I think it has been absolutely pouring it down, mate.

Trust me to pick bloody Mull in late autumn.

After a long journey, they are finally within a stone's throw

of the tiny, remote and currently very wet island of Erraid.

They've got sheep out there, is that sheep I can see on the side?

They've got a few sheep, yeah, and on the right-hand side, there's the

boat shed, that's where I want to have the party, in that boat shed.

It brings back memories, mate, it's flooding back.

It would be awesome if they say you can do it there, wouldn't it?

But the weather may not be the only issue with getting married on Erraid.

It's privately-owned so Tom needs special permission.

Hello, it's Tom, is it possible to speak to Julia, please?

His decade-long dream relies entirely on this phone call.

Hi, Julia, what are the chances that we can get married on your island?

So, too short a notice?

Right, a year, eh?

I have had my heart set on it for ten years, you see.

I could just never afford it.

I could land on the back of your island

and you'd never have to see me.

We'd go to your high point, we'd have a little ceremony

with ten people and then shoot off somewhere else and have a party.

And you could all come.

It is just absolutely devastating.

I'm going to pass you on to my best man

cos I'm getting a little bit emotional. Here he is.

He's, er, he can't cope.

Three weeks isn't enough notice.

And just like that, Tom's island wedding dream sinks without a trace.

TOM SIGHS AND CRIES

He's been focusing on it for ten years.

He's going to want to find something different, quickly now, I think.

Just hope he can move on.

I'm tired and I'm emotional and I'm stressed.

I just want it to be perfect for her, do you know what I mean?

Got my heart set on that so much as well, mate.

Imagine if we were going to have it on a day like this

-but a bit more sun, do you know what I mean?

-Yeah.

Not as much wind, just beautiful.

The next morning, after another night under canvas,

Tom has a whole new outlook.

I think I just built it up in my head for a number of years.

"Oh, yeah, I'm getting married on Erraid." But when I think about it,

it's not really that important, the island.

In fact, I don't think it is important at all.

What I think is important is getting married in a beautiful place

with the person that I love and Mull is one of the most beautiful

places on earth. It is just amazing.

Tom has decided to hold the big day on the Isle of Mull,

but before our wedding planners head off to find somewhere suitable...

I'll have a wash in the tree, I think.

..Tom needs to survive his early-morning shower.

I get naked and I rub myself in the leaves and shake all the trees

so all the water falls on us.

I mean it's pouring down anyway so should be good fun.

TOM LAUGHS

MUSIC: Oxford Comma by Vampire Weekend

What's it like in there, Tom?

-Bloody lovely.

-HE CHUCKLES

Cold!

So, the Scottish island wedding is back on,

but down in Stockton, sticking close to home,

Sue is with Tom's mum Frida and family friend Joan, showing them

where she would get married if she was in charge.

-Wow, Holly, look at this.

-Look at this, Holly, isn't it beautiful?

A local stately home.

This is just perfect and there are so many memories here as well.

There's memories of me being younger

and with, like, all my nieces and nephews

and then when I met Tom and we were always at Preston Park.

It is a beautiful place, it really is.

Oh, God.

But Tom's wedding plans are a world today. Well, 300 miles away

and a lot less sheltered.

Set on having his survivalist wedding on Mull,

he is on the hunt for a suitable location.

I mean, look. Look at that.

And he's just found a rugged stretch of beach.

First impressions of this place, mate?

It is a breathtaking scenery, without a doubt.

I think it is absolutely unbelievable.

-If we can have the party in that building over there...

-Yeah.

..it'd be brilliant to have the ceremony in the middle of there,

but it would depend on the weather. I mean, sure, we could do something.

I'm just really concerned about how exposed it is.

That is the one worry that I've got, is how exposed it is.

At the stately home, Sue is getting cosy

and thinking of a weatherproof wedding.

This is really comfortable. It doesn't matter what it would be

doing outside, if it'd be snowing, raining.

As long as you were in here, you wouldn't have a care.

It is really cosy, isn't it?

And it is warm, I don't know, I think if it was raining, it would

make it more cosy, anyway, wouldn't it? Yeah.

Raining outside but you are nice

and warm inside and enjoying yourself.

I love it.

Up on the rugged coast of Scotland,

Tom's survivalist wedding is coming to life.

If we had it in there, mate, we could really make it look survival.

We could put like, erm, camouflage netting on it

and stuff or maybe up the sides, hang it on the front

and have the insides all camo-ed inside.

And all oil drums as barbecues.

-It is a bit slopey all around it, that is the thing, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-But as long as you've got somewhere to sleep...

-Yeah.

..something to drink, food in your belly, good company, music

and you're warm and you're with your friends in a beautiful place

like this, does it really matter,

the niggledy-piggledies here and there?

It does a bit.

For bride-to-be Sue, a wedding is all about the niggledy-piggledy bits.

I would love, like, a prawn cocktail starter,

then beef and vegetables dinner

and then, like, profiteroles for your dessert.

I'd love it to have all the traditional round tables

with the white cloths over.

There's just so much detail in everything, isn't there?

Wow.

The boys have found the beach-side campsite for the guest accommodation.

But are still on the hunt for the perfect wedding venue.

-Hello, I'm getting married.

-Yes?

So they have come to a nearby farm set in acres of picturesque woodland.

MUSIC: Wild Wood by Paul Weller

# ...Of the wild wild wood. #

I love the idea of putting up the family in giant tepees...

-Right.

-..in the campsite so they will stay the first night,

we will feed them and then the next day, me and Sue will get married.

What I'm after, it sounds a bit mad, doesn't it?

-It does, very, very mad.

-OK.

-I'm after a survival-themed wedding cos I am into survival.

-Right, OK.

-It's got to look the part...

-All right.

..so if it's anywhere that I get, I want to try and dress it up

-with camouflage netting...

-That's no problem.

-..and tables made out of big wire spools.

-Fantastic.

If I show you round here...

Out the back of the farm,

Tom is falling in love with the outdoors all over again.

This is amazing. I love it,

it's took my breath away, actually, it really has.

I mean, if you get a beautiful day and you are lucky

and the weather is fantastic, then it's all going to be open air.

If the skies open,

then the exhibition building behind you is literally a backup.

It's a sensible option and one that appeals to practical best man Derek.

But it is not exactly Tom's outdoor dream.

I know it's not the sort of place you are looking for,

-but an indoor option is...

-It's beautiful but it doesn't say

survival, but maybe the outdoor bit in the woods might.

You need somewhere to think of as an inside option,

just in case it is absolutely tanking it down.

And you don't want Sue there, bedraggled, soaked through,

with flowers dropping out of her hair, do you?

If it's raining outside, you're going to be in here, nice and warm.

-This is just everything I want.

-Do you know what it is? It's so you.

I love it. I absolutely love it. I'm really worried now.

I could just cry because I want this so bad.

Does he really know what I want?

Sue's stately home dream has even made Tom's mother,

-Frida, anxious.

-I've known for years, Sue has always said

she wanted to get married here, hasn't she? I'm really anxious.

Part of us is thinking, it's my son, I know he'll pull it off,

but the other part of us is saying,

it's my son and I know what he's like.

Oh, look at the little fairy stairs.

Can you imagine bringing Holly up here, though?

Take her up and... This is brilliant. This reminds us...

It sounds really stupid, but it reminds us of

Lord Of The Rings or something, doesn't it?

It's like, it's awesome. It is awesome.

And what could be more awesome than a Hobbit-style bridal suite

made from wreckage and driftwood perched at the end of civilisation?

This is unbelievable. Look at the boat!

I'm gobsmacked.

I'm speechless. I really am. I'm speechless.

-Smell of a wood stove as well.

-That's right.

-You're not kidding.

I could live in a place like this.

This is Sue, this is Sue, this really is Sue. I like it.

I don't want to go to the other places. I like it.

Decision made.

Traditional bride, Sue, faces a Scottish woodland wedding,

then a nippy night in a secluded beach hut. Luxury.

Well, at least compared to the guests,

who'll be sleeping in tepees on the beach in October.

You couldn't get more isolated than this place if you tried.

We're literally as far away from civilisation as you can get.

This is the perfect castaway place, isn't it? Really.

Tom forks out on the first major purchase of his £14,000 budget.

£2,380 for the entire venue.

Thanks, very, very, very, very much.

Which includes the woodland glade for the wedding ceremony,

an indoor function room in case of bad weather

and the Hobbit-y hut as a cosy bridal suite for the wedding night.

So, survival style wedding it is.

Next day, by ship and by road,

the boys take the long road back to Stockton and Tom's garden retreat.

It looks like someone else could have used a few of Tom's survival tips.

Ah! Poor little thing. I'm sure he'll get eaten by something.

But Tom barely has time to settle in when Sue desperately needs to

-get in touch with him.

-That's for Tom.

Tell him to keep calm and stop stressing.

-Tell him everything is going to be fine.

-I will.

She's got some huge life-changing news, but the bride and groom

aren't allowed any contact, so Tom's mum, Frida, will act as go-between.

I think he's going to be shocked.

I think all the emotions he's going through at the moment,

I suppose it's hard to say.

But I think he's going to probably cry.

-Can I have a word with you?

-What? What's up?

Right, don't panic. Read that.

To my amazing fiance, Tom.

I hope you're well, although I know you will be stressed

and stropping, yes.

She's pregnant again.

Congratulations, son. Don't cry.

-I'm not going to cry.

-Congratulations.

You're going to have a baby sister or brother.

I hope it's an easy birth.

Jesus! I hope she's going to be all right.

It's great news, but also scary after the complicated birth

of the couple's first daughter, Holly.

Will he be crying? Will he be happy? Will he be sad?

Oh, no!

I don't think anybody expected me to have a second child. No way.

I'm absolutely speechless, to be totally honest with you. I'm, erm...

I need a pint, I think. I need a pint.

I think I'm going to go and have a pint.

So much for, like, mad ideas for her hen night.

We'll have to do something sensible, I think. Damn!

I was going to get her with that one.

In need of a good night's sleep, survivalist, Tom,

has caved in and dismantled his garden tent.

With the responsibility of a growing family,

as well as planning a wedding, Tom needs to be on top form.

I didn't really want to, but I spent the night in a bed last night

and it was the most comfortable bed I've ever had in the world

and I feel much better today.

I still feel a bit under the weather, but I'm hard.

He is hard and he's got a wedding to plan for a pregnant bride.

So, he's off to the survival shop.

I'm after buying some bits for my wedding

and I need mess tins, plates, that type of thing.

-They are like £7 for two.

-To cater for 50.

I don't want to have exactly the same,

I want to like mix them with some plates...

Yeah, I mean, we've got these old-fashioned military issue ones.

They're brilliant. I need camo netting, as well.

That comes to £390.

Brilliant! Thank you very, very much.

Determined to make the most of his budget,

Tom's making savings turning pallets into outdoor seating.

Now I've bought the wrong sized nails here,

so what I'll do is I'll angle grind them off.

It's a manly tool. In fact, I'll do it now.

Isn't it just?

But when it comes down to it, even a hardened survivalist like Tom

is a big softie on the inside.

-That's a lovely little locket, that.

-If you got it engraved...

The reason I'm doing it is Sue's mam passed away - me bride.

So I'm going to put a picture of her mam in one side

-and her mam and dad in the other.

-That's nice.

So at least her mam will be watching over her.

-Will you do us a deal on it?

-We will do you a deal.

-Instead of 42 you can have it for 35.

-Deal, thank you.

I appreciate that. Cheers. You're gonna make a girl very happy.

Tom's survivalist wedding is starting to take shape.

So midway through week two of wedding planning,

it's time to get his survivalist hairstyle into shape too.

I normally have a bald head anyway.

It's just I've been so busy, over the last few weeks,

I just haven't had a chance

and I'm too tight to go and pay like 15 quid for a hair cut.

Tom's gone for a budget-boosting Army buzz cut

because things are about to get serious

with his toughest challenge yet.

Buying Sue's wedding dress.

How far will his survival instincts take him now?

You know what you're getting then?

I haven't got a clue. I know nowt about dresses!

-It's got to be white, though, I know that.

-It's got to be white.

-I might change my mind when I get in, like.

-Yeah.

-Hiya.

-Nice to meet you.

I'm after a wedding dress for my bride-to-be

and I haven't got a clue, basically!

-Right, is she curvaceous?

-She's pregnant again.

Whether she likes bling, or doesn't, or whether she likes lace...

-I mean, I don't want it to look like a pair of net curtains.

-Yeah.

-Although it would save me budget.

-THEY LAUGH

Out of the three I like that one.

Sue has no say in her wedding dress

but she's with Tom's mum Frida and family friend, Joan,

fantasising about what she would choose if she were in charge.

So I want something that's going to, like, maybe be fitted

and hide my waist but then puff out a little bit

but not like a big meringue.

So not like a big meringue!

I like the detail on that.

-That's nice.

-Yeah.

I like the way it goes out at the side.

Can you do a Bruce Forsyth, give us a twirl?

Unaware of how Sue's body shape may be changing now she's pregnant,

Tom's looking at dresses which offer little support.

It looks really nice, actually.

-We're worried about your breasts.

-Yeah, they're growing at the minute.

So it's just all ridiculous.

I think I'd feel comfortable in something like that.

-What we'll do is we'll try a strapless one, as well.

-Yeah.

And then try this and see how you feel,

-see which you feel more comfortable in.

-Yeah.

-Oh, God.

-Oh, my... I keeping putting my hand...

I love this one and I love the bling

but it's...quite tight around my stomach

and you can see a bump.

Finding a wedding when pregnant has its challenges.

-You can see it.

-It has got a bit of a bump on that one.

It's my boobs, isn't it? They're growing.

-Can you imagine if he picked one that...

-I'd be devastated.

-Yeah.

She's got big boobs

so will it not make her look like she's hanging out?

It depends if she wants to cover them,

or you could always put a piece across.

I don't think she'll want to cover them

but she'll not want to look like...

You are the best to judge.

Oh, God. No pressure!

-Screwed then, Tom.

-Oh, God!

-Oh, my God!

-Oh!

My God, Sue, that's beautiful.

She's finally found a dress she loves.

I love it. I feel so happy.

I feel so confident in this dress

and now I'm getting really, really excited.

Look at this...

Meanwhile the boys are seeing double.

-Two at once is too much.

-THEY CHUCKLE

I really like that, actually, because it's really elegant

-and really nice.

-Elegance is good for a wedding dress I would say.

That's a good emotion to have when looking at one.

Jeez, what am I gonna do?

So the decision is between one strapless dress

and another strapless dress.

How will he survive?

TOM SIGHS

What if Tom gets it wrong?

What are you gonna do? What would you do?

Would you still wear it?

I'd have to wear it because he's chose it

and it's what he thought.

Now I'm panicking, thinking, what am I gonna get?

I really like that one.

I love that princess dress.

That is so stylish, that one. It's so beautiful.

I've decided. I like that one, definitely.

That is amazing.

Tom's picked a dress.

Full in the skirt, fitted at the waist with little to no support

for his pregnant bride-to-be.

-Oh, come on, darling.

-Sorry.

No, don't apologise.

I've been telling her anyway.

It's just been an emotional rollercoaster.

I think that's made her feel better today, seeing the dresses.

Obviously, she wants her mum, which, you know, that's normal.

Wedding dress challenge complete, and Sue's dress,

shoes and accessories are in the bag for just over £800.

I'm absolutely buzzing with that dress.

I think I've got a good price.

Although, it doesn't leave much of my budget

for five bridesmaids' dresses.

Buying a dress for one woman was tough enough,

but for five it's even harder.

With time and budget running out,

Tom and Derek go on the hunt for the bridesmaids' outfits.

-Oh, mate, what am I going to do?

-What do you reckon, Tom?

Something like that, it's bright.

-They're going to look like prawns!

-DEREK CHUCKLES

What about nice, floral things?

Eh, now this is the one, mate, I've got it.

Any bridesmaid would feel really special to wear that

to a main event.

For man's man Tom, women's fashion isn't his area of expertise.

Luckily, best man Derek is on hand with some practical advice.

My experience of going to weddings is, the bridesmaids are always

dressed in pa-ching over the top colours, anyway.

It seems to be the way it is. Then the bride looks nicer.

It's all about making the bride look great.

The options might be limited but the boys need to make a decision quickly.

They might be nice on but we've no way of telling that

-unless we buy them.

-Look at the price of that, man!

And a bargain's a bargain.

Back at Sue and Tom's shop, the bridesmaids, including Sue's nieces

Kelsey and Becky have assembled to try on their £11 dresses.

If they start... Just...

They can come in their jeans and their T-shirts, I'm not bothered.

As long as Sue looks like a princess,

-that's all that matters to me.

-TOM SNIFFLES

What will the girls make of their discount pink numbers?

Oh, my God!

-Tom, what are they?

-That's disgusting.

-No, that's horrible.

-Just try them on.

I don't know what sizes are but there's a few for youse.

I got different sizes.

They look beautiful on.

I'm not being horrible, I wouldn't even wear that to a job interview.

Becky, man, it's not as bad as you think, man!

I don't think you've tried hard enough.

I have been everywhere, I have worked my balls off.

-Yeah, but you know what a bridesmaid dress looks like.

-It's not...

It's a bloody different wedding.

You've probably gone to boring weddings.

-We're talking about me, you nah.

-No, Tom, it's not a bridesmaid dress.

-Go on. Just...

-It's not a bridesmaid dress.

Bridesmaids' dresses are whatever the hell I want them to be!

Now go and try 'em on and I'll come back!

-Bloody hell!

-Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I've tried. I'm a bloke. How was it going to turn out?

It was going to turn out crap.

You know, I've got enough on me plate to be totally honest with you.

It's a nervous wait for the girls' final verdict.

DOOR CREAKS OPEN

Don't say they look good, Tom.

-They look all right.

-Really?

-They look lovely. If you saw them!

-We can see them, Tom.

I can see them on other people!

-Are you going to wear it for Sue, or not?

-It feels like a towel.

Are you going to wear it or not?

-You're making it like...

-Are you gonna wear it?

-If it's for Sue.

-It is for Sue, who else is it for, it's not for me!

Tom has no idea if the girls will wear the dresses, or not.

I'm trying me best.

If it's not good enough then buy their own dresses.

I've only got a certain amount of money.

So time for an urgent budget check.

We'll be able to save some money there.

We're going to get them to jump on the bus.

Having shelled out on camping gear, supplies and three tepees

for the guests, there's just over £3,000 left

to pay for all the transport to the island.

Still..at least Derek's got the cake covered.

I've got no experience of making a wedding cake

but it's exactly the same as a Christmas cake

and I make a Christmas cake every year.

Well, that's that sorted.

Derek might be in charge of baking but Tom's determined to

have his cake and eat it when it comes to the bridesmaids.

Please, please, pick on the bridesmaids.

And he's got a spooky hen do in mind.

That'll be so funny, scare them as much as you want.

In fact, the more you scare them, the better.

Tom's booking separate coaches to take the bridal party and guests

to Scotland but he wants to keep the destination under wraps

and he has a cunning plan.

-Can you shut the curtains on this bus?

-I can, yes.

Is there a way where we can shut the curtains

so they don't know where they're going?

-Not on the windscreen.

-I never thought of that!

That's a bit of a stupid idea, isn't it, really?

That was a blonde moment - no offence.

Tom books a coach for his guests, a minibus for the wedding party

and a ferry to get everyone to Mull for the princely sum of £2,300

taking a huge chunk out of his already dwindling budget.

With the wedding just three days away, Tom needs to be heading

back to Scotland to prepare for his outdoor wedding.

But all plans are on hold.

I hope to God everything's all right.

All rules are set aside

so the bride and groom can both attend an early scan.

-SUE CRIES

-Are you all right?

Because of the complications at her first birth,

Sue's pregnancy is considered high risk.

Don't cry, cos you'll set me off.

I'm really nervous about this.

You're all right, I'm with you. Right.

We've got to see a consultant

and I'm classed as high risk cos of Holly's birth.

It's a nervous moment for the couple.

So does the baby in your opinion look healthy?

For this stage, it looks perfect.

Thank God for that!

I'm just so relieved, Sue.

-Are you all right?

-Yeah.

You don't realise how relieved I feel.

You're not the only one!

I'm all right. I'm tough.

There's been no mention of the wedding

and Tom's happy that Sue and their baby are safe.

I feel like I have got a house lifted off my shoulders.

Now I can try and organise a wedding!

Everything's all right.

There's a photo for Uncle Jamie to have a look at.

He now takes the long journey to Scotland to put the final touches

to his remote, wild, woodland wedding on the Isle of Mull.

After the good news of the scan, Sue can enjoy a night out with her mates.

-Right, Kels, have you got your bag?

-Yeah.

Tom's organised a hen do in York, starting in its famous dungeon.

We're going to the dungeons!

It's going to be good.

Welcome to the York Dungeon!

ALL SCREAM

Now you, what be your name?

Becky!

You look like you like to mix stuff, Becky.

THEY LAUGH

THEY SCREAM

Becky was in the way of everybody and getting picked on.

It was good, though. I think we all enjoyed it. It's been really good.

The hens have survived the ghosts and now they're moving on to the spirits.

Except Sue, of course, who's sticking to the soft drinks.

I did not expect to be in York,

I expected to be in Stockton somewhere in a really cheap pub.

I'm really proud of him, he's done really well.

And now I'm just excited to see what the wedding's got to bring now.

Sue loves Tom's choice of venue for the hen do

but how will she feel about a remote island in Scotland for the wedding?

Next morning on the Isle of Mull

and Tom's vision of a survivalist wedding is coming together.

# I see the pale moon rising... #

How are you doing, fella? Come here.

Yes! Whoo! We're here!

How cool are they?

They are amazing!

With just 48 hours to go until the wedding...

Do you want to come over and see what we're staying in?

..the sun is out, spirits are high and the tepees are up.

Back in Stockton...

-Are you nervous?

-Are you nervous?

Sue has no idea she'll be getting married outdoors on an island.

But she is about to see the dress she'll be wearing on it.

She hoped to feel like a princess.

So what will she make of Tom's choice of dress for her big day?

THEY GASP

Oh, Sue!

300 miles away on the remote island of Mull,

the lack of phone signal is proving tricky.

Tom, Tom. Have you heard anything from Sue?

She was putting the dress on this morning, wasn't she?

Oh, no, I haven't heard anything. I've got no reception, have I?

We need to find a place with a signal so that we can check

this dress out and make sure that it fits.

Oh, my God.

I don't know if I like it.

Sue, it's gorgeous.

It's stunning.

I feel too exposed at the top. I don't...

I am worried sick about this dress. I'm worried sick.

Tom, we did the best we could with our high-class...

..stylistic style guru approach.

I'm just...

I got them to try loads of dresses on so I just...

I hope I've got the right one. I'm absolutely...

If she doesn't like it, it proves what we knew all along,

that neither of us have any dress sense.

You know, but that's no good,

it's her wedding day, man. It's got to be right.

I love the dress but I didn't realise how much it meringued...

Sue, I'm not joking, it's better than the three you tried on.

It's stunning.

Oh, God, it's...

If you feel as if you're exposed,

can they not loosen it up at the back a bit?

It's not that, it's my boobs, isn't it, they're growing.

That's going to happen, Sue.

-You're pregnant.

-That's just normal, isn't it?

Will she ring?

-Oh, it's run out of charge.

-Derek!

Maybe now's not the time, Derek.

Don't lose your sense of humour.

When that goes you've lost everything.

I've none until I find out about this dress.

You'll have to grow one again.

-To be honest...

-I'm going to have to see if I can get a bra to like...

-I don't know.

-Sue, you're not going to flatten them,

pet, you're pregnant.

If I bend over, I'm gonna hit somebody in the face.

When you mentioned you feel a little bit exposed here.

Now, you can... We have our seamstress here.

So you can, it's up to you, she can put organza straps here or

there's loads of other options.

Some of Sue's worries about the dress could be solved with some

simple modifications.

But at a cost.

-Hello.

-'Hello, is that Derek?'

-It is, yes.

-Sue's been trying that dress on.

-Does she like it, does she like the dress?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, she likes the dress.

-Yes!

Sorry. How much?

She just needs some extra support on it,

which is an extra 40 quid to get that fitted.

-Get it.

-Nice one, bye-bye.

-Get in! Get in!

Tom's dad has arrived on site and is now dispensing outdoorsy wisdom.

It seems our groom might be a chip off the old block.

It's very light but split it in there and then again.

I'd love to take all the credit for it and say,

"Yes, I taught him everything!"

But, no, he's learnt most of it himself.

Meanwhile, self-taught Tom has an unexpected issue to solve -

getting drizzle out of a generator.

It hasn't been serviced for while, it'll be all right.

If it rains, the thing to remember is, skin is waterproof.

You won't get drowned by sitting out in a little bit of rain.

It's looking pretty amazing. We have floodlights.

Inside the tepees is pretty amazing.

We've got the hay bales, we've got fires.

Tom's stag is about to begin with a bang.

Whoo, look at that. Run!

Well, almost...

-Is that it?

-Yeah!

-You should have put it on the fire, Tom.

That's rubbish! 10 quid that cost!

It's early morning, the day before the wedding.

The coach is collecting the wedding guests

but they still have no idea where they're going.

Are you all right, sweetheart?

Meanwhile, a minibus picks up the bridesmaids, Sue and her dad, Colin,

who have no idea how far they're going either.

Right, can everybody put their hands up and say cheers!

ALL CHEER

-Holly, say cheers.

-Cheers.

That was a nice one.

The bridal party may be in good spirits but, over in Mull, the stress

of pulling off a wedding on a remote island is taking its toll on Tom.

At the moment Thomas is in his car, he is currently wound up.

He's built it up.

I think, obviously, he's realised there's people travelling here,

everything's happening now.

At least he's calming down, that's the main thing,

rather than blowing up.

But Tom's survivalist theme has some of the stags

worried about facilities...

Or lack of them.

That over there has just got a sink in it with cold water,

a urinal and a toilet pot.

He's expecting 40-odd guests.

The guests have been travelling all morning

and still have no idea where they're heading.

-Are you enjoying it?

-Yeah.

-It's going to be fun.

-It's going to be fun.

Knowing Thomas I'm sure it'll be a really good weekend.

It better be!

# Two, four, six, eight

# You're never too late! #

But on the bridal bus, Sue's concerns are growing.

I'm a little bit worried at the moment.

Wondering where it might be.

So I'll have to wait and see.

See how far I travel now

and then I might get an inkling of where I'm going.

Look, it's official, we're going to Scotland, ladies and gentlemen!

The guests have made it over the border

but there's still a long way to go, which is just as well

because Tom still has one vital survival element

he needs for the campsite -

bedding for the tepees.

What a treasure trove!

They've got sleeping bags, blankets, everything...

The budget might be almost gone

but luckily Tom gets the bedding for free,

thanks to good old Scottish hospitality in the form of...

-What was your name, sorry?

-Hazel.

Hazel has helped me out no end.

That is such a weight off my mind. I am so...

Thank you.

Give me a cuddle. Thank you very much.

I appreciate it. Cheers.

The guests have now been on the coach for nine hours.

The journey's tedious, boring, tiring

and we want off the bus now, please.

Even Tom's mum's had enough.

It'll be worth it, I suppose, when we get off the bus, won't it, boys?

-Yeah.

-Are youse tired?

-Yes.

But at last they're off the coach, just in time to start the next

leg of their journey - the ferry ride to the island.

I'm getting excited now.

-We're all right now because we're on the boat.

-Yeah, yeah.

Hopefully we're not going to be long now.

We're looking forward to a luxury hotel, Thomas.

-Aren't we?

-Yes, Thomas.

-I've got loads of bedding.

-Well done.

With just an hour to go, back at camp...

Lads...

It's a dash to get the bedding in place.

I've got to pick the up family first, get them here.

-Do you want to take the van?

-Yeah.

Before Tom races off to meet the coach party and guide them

on the final leg of their journey.

Oh, hang on. I can see something.

Oh, my God.

Tom's in time to meet the guests' coach to guide them down

the final, dark, windy roads to the remote campsite.

Right, it's a bit of a tricky road on the way there.

There is loads of alcohol, lovely accommodation

and, so, it's going to be an absolute laugh.

But just as the exhausted guests finally arrive at camp,

so does the rain.

It's a bit of rain. Doesn't hurt anyone, does it?

I don't think that's going to make people happy, but...

hey, I don't care.

The kids are tired. It's raining.

Better get stuff sorted, so the kids can go to bed.

It's, like, the campsite, it's a bit different, but never mind.

Patrick?

But the relentless downpour is starting to cause problems.

He's got the kids and they're getting wet.

-I've got no space.

-Do you have the key?

I've no space. The car's full of stuff.

While the island storm is pushing Tom's dream of a survivalist wedding

to its limits, over on the mainland,

the bridal party are having a much cosier time of it.

Here we are. So we're coming through here.

-Wow, Holly. This way, Holly.

-This way, darling.

-This way, this way.

Oh, my God.

-ALL:

-Oh, my God!

-Oh, wow!

ALL TALK

Look at that!

-Yeah!

-Whoa, look at this!

-Woo!

-Yay!

-THEY SHOUT

-Oh, my God!

-THEY SHOUT EXCITEDLY

Whoa, Holly, how amazing. Has Dad done a good job or what?

-LAUGHTER

-Yay!

Enjoy it, Sue.

Tomorrow night, you'll be in a hobbit's hut.

The following morning, the storm has passed

and the sun is out for the start of the big survival-themed wedding.

Saw the rain and I freaked out and, luckily, we'd organised digs,

but it was in a village about ten mile up the road.

It was still raining at one o'clock this morning

when I was still awake, so...

I woke up floating in water.

So, yeah, I got soaked.

The bridal party have arrived from the mainland

and Tom's arranged a hotel where they can get ready.

With just hours to go, it's time for Sue

to see those £11 bridesmaid dresses.

God, I daren't even look!

Will this be a whole other storm?

Oh, my God, I love them.

Oh.

I think yous look absolutely gorgeous.

And, Becky, yours matches your lipstick and everything.

-LAUGHTER

-Honestly. I was not expecting that.

I was, like, expecting some big, bouffant thing.

Honestly, I love it. I think yous all look absolutely gorgeous.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-I really do. You're welcome.

It's finally the moment the bridal party have been waiting for.

Seeing Sue in all her splendour.

It's absolutely massive.

-OMG!

-It's huge.

-I actually love it.

Dad, do you like it?

Yeah.

-You look beautiful!

-CHILD TALKS

-Are we going to go and get married?

-CHILD TALKS

-Well, I'm ready. Go on, then.

-Ready?

-Let's go, go, go.

-Go, go.

Tom's laid on an open-top classic car to take his bride to the ceremony.

-Everybody into the venue, please.

-Going this way, now.

At the woodland location, the guests and Tom are assembled and waiting.

But it looks like a storm is brewing.

She'll come. She'll come.

Outside, our bride is finally here,

but Tom's idea of an idyllic country drive hasn't quite gone to plan.

Oh, my God.

I'm freezing!

Bit too bloody late for the umbrella now.

Hnnh!

Oh, thank you. Oh, bless.

Right, I think I'm ready to go and punch him in the face, now!

Good luck.

I don't need any luck, he's going to get his head knocked off.

-Are you excited, Sue?

-No.

-Why?

-Because I'm freezing...

My boobs are falling out,

I've been hailstoned on my head...

in a car that I couldn't even fit into.

Look at the state of it already!

Look. It's minging, absolutely minging already.

A white dress in a field.

Why get something so big and puffy

in a bloody field?

I'm bloody freezing.

As Sue prepares to make her entrance...

Do I just go straight in?

..the floodgates look ready to open. And that's just Tom.

But the weather's not looking great, either.

Those storm clouds are threatening to put a dampener on all his hard work.

After three long weeks in the making,

the big moment is finally here.

It's freezing cold.

It wasn't meant to be like this.

My dress is dirty.

We'll talk about it later.

Tom, will you love,

honour and cherish Susan as your wife the rest of your life?

-I do.

-Susan, will you love,

honour and cherish Tom as your husband for the rest of your life?

I will.

Thankfully, the weather holds long enough for Tom

and Sue to tie the knot.

It gives me much pleasure to make you husband and wife.

CHEERING

# Yeah, you and me we can ride on a star

# If you stay with me, girl

# We can rule the world

# Yeah, you and me We can light up the sky... #

But then... THUNDER RUMBLES

..as if on cue...

the heavens open and the guests run for cover.

We can't do anything about the weather.

It's the British weather for you!

Safely out of the rain, Sue gets to see the fruit of Tom's labours.

Oh, my God.

Has he done all this, as well?

But has she taken to his survival theme?

He had to get survival into it somehow, didn't he?

She's probably thinking, "Oh, my God, that's what's he'd done?"

Her dream venue was probably, like, a stately home or something

in some grounds of a park and this is... It's a bit out there!

I think I ballsed up, though.

So what does the traditional girl make of her not quite

-traditional wedding?

-Do you like it, or not?

-It's not what I'd have chose!

-Do you like it, or not?

Well, I'm with you, so I don't really care where I go.

-Thanks.

-I love you so much.

I think he's done really, really well.

He's thought of me all the way along,

so he's had to get his little bit in there, so I'll let him off.

It's still a bit strange, but...hey, it was his choice!

Leaving the wet chill outside, the guests get

a taste of the outdoors indoors as they take their places for the meal.

We're going to have to find some more chairs, Tom.

A quick break in the weather gives Tom the chance to reveal

the final survivor of his wilderness wedding.

I love that, it's absolutely amazing! It's very you, isn't it?

-It is.

-I'm just thinking of poor Holly squashed in there with us.

-Getting down in a pram.

-It's boiling in here, it's roasting in here.

-It's lovely, it's absolutely gorgeous, you've done well.

-Really?

-Yeah. It's really nice.

-Phew!

At the reception, the guests are quite literally surviving,

thanks to fresh food sourced from the local area and a lovely cake...

sourced from Derek!

It is so Tom to make tables!

It's so Tom to have leaves on the ceiling.

I think he should be really proud of what he's done.

I think it's very thoughtful and I think that he has tried really hard.

I don't know if people got the survivalist wedding, I think

they definitely got the fact that they needed to survive!

It's not the norm, which we wasn't expecting from Tom.

If it's Thomas, you don't get the norm.

You make the best of what you've got.

It's good that they've had a good time.

You've got no control over the weather -

the rain, thunder and lightning earlier on,

but that hasn't had any bearing on it whatsoever.

We've thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

Tom planned a survivalist wedding to prove to his bride that he

would always be there to protect her.

Probably failed miserably cos of the bloody weather.

The heavens opened, thunder and lightning started.

You know, at the end of the day,

it's about me and Tom getting married and that's all that counts.

-Thank you.

-You're welcome.

-It means a lot.

We can't help the weather, we're in Scotland.

And even bad weather can't put a dampener on the news

our couple are about to reveal to their guests.

I'm so glad to have yous here.

I know things haven't went perfectly to plan,

but I've got one last thing to tell you.

We're expecting another baby.

CHEERING

Next time...

Traditional bride-to-be Sophie

dreams of a fairytale wedding.

I want it to be a nice, colourful, positive, happy day.

# What's that coming over the hill

# Is it a monster... #

-But wannabe hero Alex...

-I want that, and them, and the guns.

..wants to show his love by scaring the living daylights out of her.

Will he be able to save the day?

I'll be like, this hero of the day to save my wife!

Or will he get it dead wrong?

Disaster.