Kate & Dan Don't Tell the Bride

-From the depths of the Earth...

-Oh, God.

-..to the crests of the mountains...

these crusading grooms must rise to the challenge.

£12,000...

-..and just three weeks...

-I love that girl. I love her.

..to plan a wedding worthy of their betrothed.

Oh, my God, what has he done?

He just took my dress!

These fair maidens are bound by contract to be legally wedded...

God, no.

..but have no say in their big day.

These are just going to all be last-minute and just rubbish.

I hate it. I need to get out of it.

Can these hapless heroes marshal their armies...

I love her but she is a bitch when she is like this.

..vanquish dragons...

Do as your future mother-in-law tells you!

..and conquer all before them?

Get out of my pub!

Or will they be...

..defeated?

I'm not doing it.

Tonight, a groom without a romantic bone in his body...

Mi scusi.

..plans a Shakespearian wedding to prove

he has learned the lessons of love.

My dream has always been that.

When his fairytale-loving bride Kate wants a big wedding

in an English castle...

I just want it to be pristine,

classy and gorgeous, and I'm getting that.

..can this Romeo pull off a real Italian job...

Fai matrimoni? She put the phone down on me!

..with a mother-in-law who is terrified of flying?

I really, really want to know if my mum is coming.

Kate is devastated.

I just can't believe it, I think it's a joke.

Will his ideas of amore get lost in translation...

It's just really itchy and I'm sweating like a pig.

..or has this groom set the stage for a Shakespearean tragedy?

I don't want to wear this dress.

I just want it to be exactly as the way I wanted it.

Eastbourne sweethearts Dan and Kate are madly in love.

-You complete me.

-Yeah, you complete me.

We love each other so much and we are always, like,

-touching each other and...

-Chasing each other around.

Yeah, Dan literally chases me around the house.

But when they first met at school, romance didn't even register.

Literally I cannot remember school.

I was too busy having a laugh, being late for class.

She was already in there, sitting at the front,

putting her hand up every five seconds to answer questions.

-I'm proud of that.

-Yeah.

Ten years later, they met again on a night out and before long,

they were planning a life together. Well, Kate was, anyway.

Probably about six months of being together, I knew that Dan was

the one, and I think every girl wants to get engaged really quick.

-It's like the magical fairytale.

-Christmas, birthdays...

Every time that we went on a day out, she would be like,

"A bit gutted you haven't proposed to me today."

Three years on, after a few subtle hints from Kate,

Dan finally popped the question.

I'm so happy to be engaged, it's the best thing in the world.

I just walk around now, like that, all the time.

-I'm so happy not to have the headache of...

-It's not a headache!

-You wanted to propose to me.

-Yeah. Yeah, of course I did.

-That's why I did it.

-Yeah.

But when it comes to romancing his love,

Dan falls a long way short of Kate's high standards.

Dan's idea of romance is going to the dogs and having a burger,

whereas my idea of romance would be dinner, flowers, the full works.

-So deluded.

-It's not deluded, it's romantic.

I think Kate believes in her head that I should be, like,

Romeo from Romeo And Juliet,

but I am probably about as Romeo as Romeo from So Solid Crew.

# I got 21 seconds to flow

# I got 21 seconds to go

# Cos if you like me lemme know

# Let me in da studio... #

That's about as romantic as I am.

THEY LAUGH

This romance-obsessed bride has one or two ideas

about the most romantic day of her life.

I have thought about how I want my wedding since I was little.

I've got a scrapbook of everything, like the venue, the shoes,

the dress.

And she knows exactly where she wants her fairytale ending...

I would love my wedding to be in a castle like a Disney princess.

Not like a Disney princess, actually,

because I don't want it to be tacky.

..and who'll be giving her away.

I've always thought that I'd have my mum walking me down the aisle.

My mum is my best friend, she will always be there for me for anything.

It looks like Kate isn't the only one who could be hard to please.

I think he is probably a little scared of my mum.

Gosh, he's got my princess! Yes, be scared.

Meanwhile, Dan's big influence in life is his mum, Linda,

who sadly passed away eight years ago.

My mum was everything to me. She was my best friend,

she was a massive reason behind the person who I am today.

Someone that I am gutted Kate has never got to meet.

And in tribute to his mum's Italian heritage,

Dan plans to give Kate a wedding she will never forget.

I want to do our wedding in Naples, Italy, because of my mum, mainly.

She was Italian, from Naples, as well with my nan,

and came over here when she was very young.

It is one of those places I would want to go back

and relive that for her and have her spirit be there on the day.

With lessons of love, Dan has always been bottom of the class.

But now he is going for a gold star by rewriting

the world's greatest love story.

I want to do a Romeo And Juliet theme.

I'm not the most Romeo, but I want to try and explore that side of me

and kind of bring the whole past and that whole movie to Naples

and get in some sort of ruins.

I want it really old, really derelict, maybe someone reading some

poems, but something a bit classic as well in an Italian environment.

So, Dan's first-ever attempt at romance is a themed wedding abroad

for a home-loving fiancee who craves a classy big day.

And our budding Romeo may face an even bigger problem -

Kate and her mum have one big no-no for the wedding.

-You hate flying, don't you?

-I couldn't go.

I couldn't go...

if it's out of the country, no.

I don't think you've even got a passport, have you?

You haven't been on holiday for about 20 years.

Oh, what is the Italian for "good luck"?

I just want to prove to Kate that I am not as useless as you think I am.

I don't think you're useless, come on.

And, you know, that when I put my mind to something

I can actually do something.

On our big day, I want Dan to just make it magical and meaningful.

-The pressure is on.

-The pressure is on.

It is time for the couple to say goodbye.

This is going to be hard,

the next three weeks without speaking to each other.

It's going to be horrible. I'm going to hate it.

-Just make sure you do it properly.

-I will do, sweetheart.

-Have some faith!

-OK. I love you.

-Can you carry some of this?

-Yeah.

They'll have no contact until their wedding in three weeks' time.

See you in three weeks. Love you loads.

I just hope it is really, really nice and it will be worth,

like, all of this - like, three weeks apart.

I keep saying it, but I just don't want him to make a joke out of it.

He has really got to be serious.

For the next three weeks, Kate will be staying with her mum, Christine...

-All right?

-I'm fine.

-Oh, my goodness me. You're home!

..who knows better than anyone how particular

this little princess can be.

Kate absolutely knows what she likes and she wants that.

She likes to micromanage him, you see.

I am glad he has got the headache, and if it all goes wrong,

it's his fault.

Day one of wedding planning.

HE TRIES TO SPEAK ITALIAN

Dan is keen to get off to a good start.

With the big day in Italy, he will need to learn the lingo of amore,

and pronto.

He might have Italian roots, but Dan has never actually been to Italy.

You'd never guess!

Mi scusi!

I'm going to have to work out how to say "wedding venue" in Italian.

HE TRIES TO SPEAK ITALIAN

Oh, Christ.

This will be really stressful, organising this wedding.

Hopefully I'll get through it with my amazing Italian-learning skills.

I'm going to knock the Italians bandy, I think, with it.

To support him on his romantic odyssey,

Dan has called on not one but two best men for help...

Hello, mate.

How are you doing?

Childhood friend Richard, AKA Brookes, and right-hand man Scott.

As you know, Kate is quite traditional.

She wants a traditional wedding,

she wants it in England with nearly 60 to 100 guests

in a nice chapel or castle - something that says "princess".

So what I am going to do is do it in Italy with a small crowd.

It is going to be Romeo And Juliet themed

in a really old-school ruined place.

She is quite a modern girl, isn't she? So...

I think this will be quite interesting, Dan.

The best men may not be convinced, but a Romeo And Juliet theme

in a beautiful Italian setting - what could possibly spoil that?

Well, there is that one thing.

Kate's mum doesn't like flying and kind of refuses to fly.

And if her mum is not there, Kate might not turn up.

She will turn up.

We hope.

Dan's grand plan may be romantic

but it also means the most important guest of all might not make it.

Still, let's not worry about that!

Don't say we are not prepared.

Dan, you've gone into full manager mode now, haven't you?

Oh!

THEY LAUGH

So, we are going to have it...

in Naples.

I think you spelt Naples wrong.

Oh, well. Not the best start.

So, what I am going to do is I am going to do colours to set it off.

Kate doesn't like that, but I think it is going to go well.

Romeo's side - baby blue... Juliet - all in red.

In Naples, in the ruins, OK?

-In NAPELS, yeah. All right.

-Napels!

THEY LAUGH

How much do you know about Romeo And Juliet?

I know it was written by William Shakespeare

and it was based in Italy.

THEY ALL SPEAK AT ONCE

I think we're halfway there!

Kate has dreamt of every detail of her wedding since she was

a child and is expecting her Prince Charming to deliver the results.

Although I want a castle because it is just beautiful,

-more traditional...

-A princess has to live in a castle, doesn't she?

She doesn't live in a church, does she? A princess lives in a castle.

Exactly. I hope he has made a list.

I really hope that was the first thing he did

when I left, is just start making a list and putting down everything.

He won't even remember, though. He'll forget loads of things.

And Kate's fairytale wedding is worlds away

from Dan's Shakespearian adaptation.

-I don't want a theme for the wedding.

-Don't want a theme?

Do not want a theme. That is just trashy.

Obviously this is a massive, massive deal for him.

-He has got to prove to me he can be romantic.

-Yeah, I think he will.

-I think he'll really try, I do think he'll really try.

-I hope so.

Oh, Dan is trying, all right!

Mostly trying to speak a language he doesn't know.

Ciao, come stai?

Just 48 hours before they fly off to Italy, Dan and Scott

start looking into potential romantic venues.

Do you speak English?

I want to know if you do weddings there.

Hello? That's a good start - they just put the phone down on me!

Shit. How do you say "wedding" in Italian?

Fai matrimoni? Fai matrimoni?

Hello, it's me again.

Fai matrimoni?

Fai matrimoni?

Hello.

Hello?

This is not going well! She's hung up on me!

She probably ain't got a clue what you are going on about.

Well, Dan is not exactly "knocking them bandy"

with his Italian just yet.

But with big ideas for his Shakespearian wedding in one hand

and an Italian phrase book in the other,

our budding Romeo takes the two-hour flight to Naples.

# A lovestruck Romeo... #

How nice is this?

Sun out, guns out.

This is so worth it. It's awesome.

# With a love song that he made... #

Within minutes, it is looking like

Dan's mission might be easier than he thought.

It's all so dated in Naples, which is exactly what we want.

I reckon we have hit the jackpot, mate, do you know that?

Naples is a city steeped in history

and not that difficult to get to - once you are on the plane.

But for this Romeo, nothing is ever quite that easy.

He is heading even further afield to the small island of Ischia -

another 45 minutes away by ferry.

Dan could use some help and fortunately it has arrived

in the shape of English-speaking local, Michelangelo.

Michelangelo! Nice to meet you. Dan.

Buongiorno, buongiorno.

-Let's go.

-Let's do it!

And with Michelangelo to point the way, things are falling into place.

This is the tower, and from here you have a wonderful view

of the castle, as they told you.

-That's a view and a half, that, mate.

-Wonderful.

My dream has always been that.

It is a castle on an island.

Kate's fairytale dreams might be about to come true.

-A castle?

-Well, not the castle itself.

Like, the ruins - bit old-school, bit Romeo And Juliet.

Are we going up there at some point?

No, in the castle we cannot go.

-So we are not going on that island at all?

-No, no.

And just like that, the island castle dream

returns to ruins.

My theme for the wedding is Romeo And Juliet

and that's why the big dream was that.

Very rustic looking, that feel of old Italy.

# I wish I were a princess

# I wish I were a princess... #

Having planned her fairytale wedding since childhood, bride-to-be Kate

and her bridesmaids, Michelle and Antonella,

are visiting a castle of their own.

But this one is just a bit closer to home.

I want a castle because I am a bit of a princess, you know?

It is lovely. It is so nice.

I think it is the one day that you can be a bit of a diva,

a bit of a princess. It is your special day.

Like, all eyes are on the bride - and the groom, obviously -

but a lot on the bride. I just want it to be a beautiful day.

I love the fact that it all matches, it all colour-coordinates.

You've got the flowers that match the covers and bows.

It is really pretty. It just looks kind of classic and lovely.

Not far from the castle in Ischia, Dan is looking at a venue

you'd definitely describe as classic and lovely.

Or at least you would have done 400 years ago,

when it was still standing.

You can do the tables here?

Yeah, we can put the tables here and make the whole ceremony here.

-How about down here?

-Yeah, down there, up here.

-This is gorgeous.

-Yeah?

-Ready?

-I am on the wrong side.

Haven't I got to go slower?

And the bridesmaids Antonella and Michelle know

it is not just Princess Kate Dan needs to wow.

If Dan hasn't got a castle he will be in trouble,

not only with Kate but also with her mother

because she is Mummy's little girl, at the end of the day.

So he needs to get the venue spot on.

I want my mum to walk me down the aisle.

Me and Mum are really close.

I don't really picture anyone else walking me down the aisle.

Hi! Hi, everyone.

Why wouldn't there be an aisle?

There's always an aisle at a wedding.

If there is no aisle, that would just be strange.

No, that would be weird.

While Kate wants her mum to walk her down an aisle,

1,000 miles away, Dan has no idea if Kate's mum will even be there.

On the plus side, he does have an aisle sorted.

-Could the boat not come up there?

-Yes.

Kind of.

Oh, Christ!

-You can get straight off onto the reception.

-On the reception.

-What do you think?

-It has to say Romeo And Juliet.

What can be done here that I'm allowed to do?

If you can imagine that we put a curtain, a red curtain,

like it was the beginning of a theatre...

OK, so she opens up the curtain, you go down...

With the possibility of using red curtains to turn the ceremonial

space into a Shakespearean stage, Dan's vision of Romeo And Juliet

might just play out.

You know what this is? Bene.

I think they will be very happy.

I think I'm very happy.

I just want the whole thing, the whole ceremony and everything -

the flowers, the dresses -

I just want it to be pristine, classy and gorgeous.

And I'm getting that, hopefully.

But Kate doesn't only want turrets and a tiara.

She has always imagined getting hitched in front of hundreds

of guests close to home.

If I am not going to get the castle, it's going to really make me angry

and now I'm thinking it's going to be something that is really small.

Or it's going to be far away.

I am just really concerned about what it's actually going to be.

I want the castle. He needs to be my prince and pull his finger out.

He certainly does.

But we will see.

But Dan plans to invite just 15 people

and use this small seaside restaurant for the ceremony and the reception.

-OK, well, the big question now, then.

-Yeah.

-Price.

I think around 120 euros per person.

-120 euros per person?

-Yes.

-Hiring this place and having the meal.

-Serious?

For 120 euros per head,

we can spend so much more money on props

and making this look the nuts.

So, mate, that is a right bonus, that.

I think we have found our venue.

We have, yeah. But you're not marrying me, mate.

Do you think she will be impressed?

I think we will knock her bandy.

So, planning to invite just 15 guests,

including a mother-in-law who might not even make it,

Dan seals the deal on these rustic ruins for his ceremony and reception.

With a registry office booked back in England

to make the marriage legal, he has spent almost £3,000.

Still desperate to prove he can be romantic,

Dan is really pushing the boat out.

Oh, my God, look how rough it is going to be!

After a 45-minute ferry ride from Naples, Dan plans for his bride and

her travel-phobic mum Christine to arrive at the ceremony by boat.

You could imagine Kate and her mum literally looking at this boat

going, "What the...? Why is he putting me on another boat?"

Yeah, she is going to be gutted, isn't she?

We are getting a lot of people out of their comfort zone here.

The bride, the mother-in-law...

I think there's going to be a lot of people that may be a bit

pissed off during the journey, but I think as soon as they get here,

they'll forget all about it and see the romance that I'm trying to show.

As the sun sets on Ischia,

let's hope it is not setting on Dan's hopes of the perfect wedding.

It is day three in Naples and having booked his Italian wedding venue,

Dan just needs to work out how to get his guests here - all 15 of them.

Can I pre-book tickets and then the guys

enter in their passport information on the day they come to Gatwick?

How much?

368.

Dan plans to surprise Kate and her bridesmaids by flying them

out to Italy as part of the hen do.

What the girls won't know is that they'll be

staying on for the wedding.

No, just hand luggage again, please. They can go without.

And you. Take care, bye-bye.

So, we have got 1,657 quid.

I was only banking on £1,000 for flights,

so we are 657 quid over our flight budget.

We have got to make some major cuts from somewhere.

Luckily the girls ain't having no bags.

DAN LAUGHS

Costs are mounting fast but Dan still needs to tick off

one essential potentially expensive item.

It is something that Kate, surprisingly, has strong views about.

Her dress.

It is not exactly going to be what Kate would pick,

the traditional white dress, but that's what I want it to be.

I want it to go with the Romeo And Juliet theme.

There is a lot of pressure to get this right

because if this goes wrong, I'm screwed.

With his romantic theme the most important part of his wedding,

Dan hopes to find a dress inspired by Shakespeare's Juliet.

Buongiorno.

What do you think of that, then?

It reminds me of something you put over a toilet roll.

I really like that one, actually.

That is way over your budget. Way over it.

Time to show off your Italian, Dan.

Si?

I want it slim.

That's quite nice. Look at the bling.

That has got everything, really. That's nice.

Oh, that's very nice!

Have you got a lady to try on so I can see?

Oh, is it OK?

OK, we'll do that, please. So I can see.

-Feeling excited, Kate?

-I am.

Back in Eastbourne, bride-to-be Kate, mum Christine and bridesmaids

Michelle and Amanda are looking at dresses a bit closer to home.

There is so much to choose from.

Kate knows exactly what she wants and she won't settle for feeling

anything less than a princess on her big day.

It is so important to have the right dress on the wedding day.

I don't want something horrible that I'm going to feel disgusting in.

I won't wear it.

All eyes are on you, as you are the bride

and you have got to look amazing, so I really hope it is right.

SHE WHIMPERS

-Oh, wow, what about this red one? Look at that, look at that.

-No.

-Beautiful!

-It's nice, but, Mum, who would wear red on their wedding day?

No. I'm not wearing red.

It looks like someone should send Dan a red alert.

So, one there and one there. That might be quite nice.

No, one side, one side.

With Dan's plan to have a colour scheme for the wedding -

Romeo in blue, Juliet in red - he needs some additions.

I think it needs to be the other side. I think it needs to be...

No, I quite like seeing Kate's cleavage.

Oh, yeah, I like that. Yeah. And one above.

And what could be more romantic than your husband-to-be

creating a bespoke wedding dress?

And one there.

-Three in one.

-Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I love it.

Oh, my goodness! Oh, I love it.

Back home in Blighty, decisive Kate has a vision of the dress she wants.

-Gosh, it's beautiful.

-It is.

It's amazing. I look like a princess.

Oh, my God, you do look like a princess.

With a plunging neckline and full-bodied skirt,

Kate is in princess bliss.

I just love, like, the entire shape of it.

-I feel like it really flatters my figure.

-I really like that.

I can see myself in this.

There at the top. I would never have thought of that before.

Like it, like it.

Meanwhile, in Italy, Dan is delighted with his handiwork.

How much is that?

200,000?!

Euro.

It's not 200,000, it's 2,000.

Cos 200,000 is a house. I nearly had a heart attack!

I nearly fell over.

2,000? That is still way over your budget.

Yeah, that is way over my budget. Ugh...

THEY GASP

Cost is the last thing on Kate's mind.

She has found her fairytale wedding dress.

-It's stunning.

-I love it.

It is exactly how I have always imagined it. I do feel like a bride.

When she was little, she used to say that she wanted to

walk down the aisle and they would play Isn't She Lovely.

-ALL:

-Aww!

Do you remember?

Do you remember when you were little you used to say that?

# Isn't she lovely? #

But the reality that Kate might not get the dress

she wants is sinking in.

It is really, really worrying me.

This is what I have dreamed of since I was little.

This is the dress. It's perfect and I want it to be perfect.

If he doesn't get me the right dress,

it is going to ruin everything.

The chance that he is going to get it right,

I think, is very slim.

And so I am worried that, you know, she is not going to like it,

she is going to be upset and there's going to be a lot of tension.

I have never seen a bride walk down the aisle in that, ever.

Ever. Completely, utterly different.

Dan's first choice of dress has proven too pricey,

but he has found one that is more affordable.

And it is even more in keeping with his theme.

-16th century...

-They weren't so designer, were they?

They weren't designer, they were quite plain.

The thing is, I don't know why but I really like it quite plain.

That, for some reason, is jumping out at me.

And after a few red embellishments...

Turn around.

..Dan comes to a decision.

It is completely different. I like it.

-That is the one. Perfetto, grazie, grazie.

-Thank you.

So, while Kate wants a fairytale princess dress with a sweetheart

neckline, Dan has gone for a plain slim-fit dress with long sleeves,

plus a few added extras in red to create his vision of Juliet.

With the flowers, one, two, three and one.

No veil, no veil.

1,100 euros.

That's a lot of money for that.

Meet you halfway, yeah?

950, yeah?

Grazie, grazie.

Still, at only £700, Dan has got the dress well under his budget.

I think it is elegant, I think it is different,

I think I have made it look a lot better and stand out

and I think she is going to look gorgeous in it.

I am really, really proud of myself

and really hope Kate will be proud of me too.

I'm just... I hope she likes it!

He has to get me a white dress.

I don't want any other colour but white.

He has to get me a big ballroom-style dress.

I just want it to be exactly as the way I wanted it.

Dan has taken a huge risk with the dress.

Let's just hope Kate doesn't end up, well, seeing red.

As Dan's first week of wedding planning comes to a close,

he has spent two-thirds of his 12 grand budget on the trip to Naples,

the wedding venue, Kate's dress, shoes,

suits for him and his best man...

Romeo, Romeo, where are thee?

..and flights and hotels for his 15 guests.

But despite ticking off much of his to-do list, there is one thing

that could bring the curtain down on his theatrical wedding.

I really hope Kate's mum can come over.

If she cannot get on that flight and be there at her daughter's wedding,

that will put a massive damper on the day.

That's one of the risks I have taken doing this,

but I'm sure she'll be out there for her daughter's wedding day.

It is week two, and back in the UK, Dan has roped in best man

Brookes on a mission for wedding essentials.

Whack a few of them, then.

-99p?

-Jeez, bargain, eh?

Lovely, cheers. Oh, yeah.

Can we have the red one as well?

But for our modern-day Romeo, juggling work

and the wedding is taking its toll.

I've got loads to do still.

I think the most frustrating thing about it, I'm really,

really stretched for budget, I've got to make some major cuts.

Time to cut something that is not really important.

Or, failing that, just slash the budget on the bridesmaids' dresses.

So I've actually gone for a medieval princess fancy-dress costume.

I was probably planning to spend

close to 100 quid on the bridesmaids.

I've now spent under 40 quid.

So I'm happy with that and they are going to make it look

even more of a theme than before.

Those lucky, lucky girls!

Across town, Kate has called a meeting with her bridesmaids

to find out if they have heard anything about Dan's plans.

You haven't had the invites, have you?

I'm getting paranoid, thinking that you know more than I know.

-No, we don't.

-Argh!

I'm getting stressed out.

Having always dreamt of a big wedding,

Kate is concerned about who Dan has invited.

No-one has had anything?

Because my manager said to me, "I haven't had an invite yet."

I want it to be close to home so everyone can get there.

-I don't want it to be far away.

-What if the wedding is abroad?

What are you going to do? Your mum won't be able to go.

No, she won't be able to go. No, that is not happening.

That would be ridiculous.

I mean, I would've enjoyed our hen do to be abroad.

I think that would've been good. But it's too late now.

So Kate should be pleased when she finds out her hen is in Italy.

Perhaps not so much when she finds out the wedding is there, too.

As week two draws to a close,

Dan has received a crucial element to his elaborate plan.

So these are my notes to Kate, just so she knows where our next bit is.

So just for instance,

"Your hen do is tomorrow, please have your bridesmaids ready."

And then, look, I just fold it up, very Shakespearean.

These notes are integral to my plan and this wedding.

She misses one note, it goes tits-up.

This here is a banner, "Romeo and Juliet, Just Married."

If that is not romantic, I do not know what is.

I'm great at this. Honestly. I tell you now.

If you do say so yourself.

It's the beginning of week three, and over at her mum's,

Princess Kate is struggling with being kept in the dark.

Is he actually doing anything? Why haven't we had the hen do yet?

It'll probably be a nice surprise.

Why haven't we gone and got the dresses?

Like, is it just going to be all last-minute and just rubbish?

It's just all getting to me now.

Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?

Well, he's around the corner with Scott in a monkey suit - obviously!

All I need you to do is go up, give her the scroll

and then just monkey around, I suppose.

I can't see anything!

To keep the Naples part of the hen under wraps

until the last minute, and to keep his bride guessing,

Dan has organised a surprise activity for the girls.

Oh, my God. What the hell?

Monkey! Oh, my God.

I'm going to put this on!

"Your hen do is tomorrow!

"Please have your bridesmaids ready and at your house at 8am."

-Why is it 8am?

-8am?

"Bring bikinis"?!

Why are we in bikinis? I'm not...

Why are we in bikinis? That's just stupid.

Surprise!

It's the morning of Kate's hen.

This is going to be crazy.

I want it to be something nice and glamorous.

Well, she might be in luck.

As long as her idea of glamour

involves being up to her neck in ice-cold water.

-I think we'll go in a wet suit.

-This is like a nightmare.

-It's freezing!

It's too cold to do anything with water.

I'll freak out, I don't like water. I don't like it.

Determined to keep his bride guessing, Dan's booked Kate

and the girls a windsurfing lesson.

No, we're going to go splat into the water.

It's a bit crap.

This isn't a hen do.

A hen do is a spa, it's a night out, it's like a weekend thing.

It's not a Monday on the beach.

I will do it, because I don't want to be a spoiled brat.

So I will do it.

Despite their initial reservations...

the girls take to windsurfing like ducks to water...

Lame ducks, that is...

..with no balance.

Back on dry land, there's yet another surprise.

"Part two of your hen do. You are going to Naples..."

Naples?

"..for one night to see my family's heritage and hopefully the sun."

Wow!

It seems our Romeo has finally done something right.

It's, like, 11 o'clock in the morning and we've already been up

doing that, and now we're flying off to Italy. It's pretty cool.

It's amazing, actually.

I can't wait, I just want to go there now. It's exciting!

-All right, bye, girls.

-Bye!

-Have a lovely time.

Be good.

The girls are off to Italy for their hen, but they still have no idea

that they'll be staying there for the wedding.

Or that Kate's mum will need to get over her fear of flying

if she stands any chance of seeing her daughter get married.

Love you!

With Kate on her way to Naples, there's no turning back now.

It's time for Dan to man up and phone his future mother-in-law

with the news of his overseas wedding.

This hurdle I've got to get over...

is literally Christine coming to this wedding.

Worst-case scenario, she doesn't come

and all of my hard work has just been for nothing.

This phone call I'm about to make is literally make or break, I suppose.

Jeez, my heart is beating so fast.

Hello, Christine?

It's Dan.

Kate, as you know, has flown to Naples for her hen do.

And that's where the wedding is going to be.

It is, and I've paid for tickets for you to come to Naples tomorrow

on a flight, and I've booked your hotel and accommodation as well.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Honestly, Christine,

I think you'll find it's so amazing when you're here, honestly.

All Dan can do is hope that Kate's mum will confront her fears...

Bye.

..and get on that plane.

Well, that was hard. Getting a bit emotional.

You know, she's not the best flyer at the end of the day

and it's going to panic her. If she doesn't come to the wedding...

HE SIGHS

..it could all end in tears.

Arriving in Naples and oblivious they'll be staying in Italy for the

wedding day, the girls discover that Dan's failed to lay on any transport.

He should have thought about booking a taxi.

-That was just stupid.

-He should've thought of transport, definitely.

And they said that it's 25 euros to get there. And it's not too far.

And to make matters worse,

Dan hasn't organised anything at the hotel either.

Feeling on a bit of a downer, really.

We're in Italy, something should have been planned.

The organisation's probably just a complete mess.

No idea of, like, what he's actually going to do.

We just get...jetted off to another country for, like, a day,

and then nothing is planned.

Happy days.

The next morning, and things aren't looking any better.

Well, he hasn't actually planned anything.

Yeah, we know for sure now that nothing's been planned.

Nothing's been planned and we just make it on our own.

So the girls decide to entertain themselves.

Cheers!

Happy hen do.

Good luck, big man.

Unbeknownst to bride Kate, best man Brookes

is about to deliver the news that her Italian experience will not end here.

-Oh, my God!

-Oh, my God!

Thanks, Brookes. You all right?

Oh, my God!

What is going on? What is going on?!

"Once in a while, in the middle of an ordinary life,

"love gives us a fairytale.

"You are invited to join Dan Openshaw at our wedding in Italy."

Oh, my God! Oh, my goodness, this is so crazy.

With the news that she'll be staying in Italy for her wedding,

there's only one thing on Kate's mind.

-CRYING:

-I really, really, really want to know if my mum is coming.

To not see me get married, that is literally going to break her heart.

I can't see myself getting married without my mum here.

I want her to walk me down the aisle, so I want my mum here.

It's not, it's not going to be...

I'm not going to be happy on my wedding day

if my mum isn't walking me down the aisle.

Back at the hotel, Kate is still struggling to come to terms

with the fact that her mum might not make it.

I don't want to think about it.

I just don't want to think about it any more. I've got a headache.

The whole thing is giving me a headache.

Why is our door opening?

Nan!

Oh, my God!

Christine has confronted her fears

and made the two-hour flight to Naples.

'It was a horrific dilemma.

'I thought, I just can't go, I can't go.

'But then, you know, when he said to me, they really wanted me here,'

I really wanted to be part of that, if I could be.

And I thought, well, I just have to try.

So each step at a time.

Kate has her mum by her side.

-For now, at least, our Romeo may have got away with it.

-I'm so happy.

I'm so happy she's here. Well done, Dan.

But this princess bride is still determined

to get her fairytale wedding.

I really want my castle and I really want my dress to be perfect.

I want them things, and then I'll be happy.

It's the day before the wedding

and time for our bride to see her dress for the first time.

I'm scared, rather than excited.

Kate's dreamt of her perfect gown since she was a child -

a white, full-skirted princess style dress with a sweetheart neckline.

I hope I'm getting my perfect wedding dress.

I hope I'm getting my castle.

I hope it's going to be a proper princess fairytale for me.

So will Kate see the romance in Dan's Juliet-inspired choice?

I... Oh, it's horrible. It's horrible. It's got... I'm sorry.

I don't like it, I hate it. It's horrible. I'm so sorry.

It's not what... It's not what I wanted. At all.

It's not what I wanted.

I don't know why he's put red in it.

-I don't want red on my wedding dress.

-Red?

-Red? It's got red on it?

-I can't believe it's got red on it.

-I'm just being such a brat.

I am, it's so embarrassing. I hate it, I hate all of it.

I'm sorry.

I've just got to try it on, maybe it looks better on.

It's not what I want, but I will try it on.

Oh, God. That's...

-Horrific.

-Is he having a joke?

It looks a bit like a present to unwrap. Is it a joke?

I feel like I'm going to be sick,

I actually feel like I'm going to be sick.

-It looks like the red has been added on.

-It does!

It looks like he's brought that and stuck it on it.

Was he drunk when he came here?

I feel horrible in it.

It's pulling in all the wrong places, I don't like it.

I don't want to wear this dress.

Yeah, I hate it, it's horrible.

Sorry, I'm not looking at it any more.

I just want to get it off, I don't want to be in it.

Kate is devastated. It's everything she didn't want.

I just can't believe it, I think it's a joke,

I can't believe that that's the dress and he's chosen it.

I don't like it at all.

I don't want to wear this on the wedding day. I feel awful.

I wouldn't get married in it, I feel awful.

I feel like I'm going to be sick and it's sticking to every bit of me

that I hate, I just don't like it.

I just wanted Amanda to call Dan and get him to change it.

With Kate refusing to wear the dress that Dan selected,

bridesmaid Amanda has to call the groom.

-I'm not sure if this is a joke.

-Right?

-It's not good at all.

I'm actually speechless. What is the red all about?

It will literally all make sense on the day.

I don't understand what that means. "It'll all make sense on the day."

You girls have been flown out, I've not had a stag do,

I'm telling you now, if I had a stag do, that dress would be a lot worse.

I'd have to get the dress from a flea market.

I don't even care.

I just don't like the dress, I'm not going to wear it.

We just need to ask them if they will exchange it.

Bye-bye.

I've got to go, I've got to get on this ferry,

otherwise nothing else is happening today.

The ferry is leaving, the bride is fuming and Dan's plans are crumbling.

He has no choice but to let Kate try the other dress that he pulled out.

I sacrificed all my time the last few weeks to make her happy...

and she can't even wear a dress for a day.

They think that's bad?

She'll feel a lot better

when she sees what the bridesmaids have got, trust me.

Oh!

-That looks better.

-I feel better.

-I BET you feel better!

It's just like a million, million, million, gazillion times better.

-I feel so much more happier in this.

-You look more like a princess now.

Yeah, I feel so much better.

Now it all comes down to the cost.

The difference between the dresses is 750, that's the difference.

-BLEEP

-hell.

There's not even a euro.

Let Nanny and I pay for the extra, please.

I don't want you to put your hand in your pocket, Christine.

Nanny and I will pay the difference

between the first dress and the second dress.

I just don't feel comfortable with you doing that, Christine.

I'm sorry, I just don't feel comfortable...

Just do as your future mother-in-law tells you, Dan, OK?

And we will pay the difference between the two dresses.

-That's it, settled.

-Yeah.

-OK?

-Yeah, OK, cheers, Christine. Thank you.

-OK.

-All right, we love you, Dan.

-We love you.

I'm annoyed - on a scale of one to ten, ten being pissed off...

I'm a ten.

Not how Romeo should be feeling the night before his wedding.

Still, there's just the small matter of getting three more dresses right.

Ready?

-It's red...

-Oh, my God, hang on.

-Wait for it, girls.

-Oh, my God!

And...

-Just imagine it.

-This isn't Kate's dream. It's far from it.

It's almost like a child's birthday party.

Begrudgingly, the girls agree to try on their costumes - I mean, dresses.

I don't think that looks that bad!

Like, this sleeve is really loose, this is really tight.

It's just really itchy and I'm sweating like a pig.

It's the bridesmaids' first taste of Dan's theatrical theme.

And it couldn't be clearer if it was on stage

stood next to Dame Judi Dench with a spotlight pointed at it.

We think it may be, like, Shakespearean or Romeo And Juliet.

Except Romeo And Juliet is a tragic love story.

So I hope that theirs doesn't end up tragic.

Like Romeo And Juliet.

Like we look!

As tragic as we look.

# The boy went back to Napoli

# Because he missed the scenery... #

# Hey, mambo, mambo Italiano

# Hey, mambo... #

It's the day of the wedding.

And on the island of Ischia, Dan is putting the finishing touches

to his romantic vision before his bride arrives in just five hours.

So we've got a really busy day today.

Got to put the drapes up over there,

which is going to take a good couple of hours.

Got to put the chairs out, got to put the red carpet down.

There's a lot to do, not a lot of time to do it,

so I ought to get my skates on.

23 miles away, bride Kate has no idea

she's about to take centre stage in Dan's dramatic love story.

-Won't be Mummy's little princess any more.

-I know!

But she is about to get a taste of her Shakespearean theme...

# Just like Romeo and Juliet... #

..as she sees his choice of bridesmaids' dresses

for the first time.

-Oh, my God!

-Oh, my God!

-Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

-You look medieval.

-You do look medieval.

I think they're lovely. They're very pretty.

You look like the three prettiest medieval players I've ever seen.

Amazingly, his budget bridesmaid gowns get Kate's seal of approval.

And over in Ischia, having recently conquered dress design,

Dan is adding wedding dressing to his creative talents.

I think there is just about enough space on this table

to fit "Romeo and Juliet" on.

I think it's a nice touch, don't you?

This is not Kate's idea of a traditional English castle wedding.

Who needs a castle when you've got one just there? Eh?

Back in Naples, Kate has some last-minute gifts from Dan.

-Oh, wow!

-Red shoes! God, they're shiny, aren't they?

-Patent, lovely.

They feel OK, actually.

-There's one last thing. There's a scroll!

-Oh, OK.

"Hi, baby. Not long now. Your taxi is waiting outside

"to go to the port to get the 11:50am ferry.

"Don't be late or you won't get married. Love you."

-Oh, my God! We're going on a ferry!

-What is Dan doing to me?!

Plane, taxi, ferry... Whatever next?

Now we're getting on a ferry, I'm a bit confused,

cos I was thinking we're definitely getting married in a castle.

Maybe we're... Maybe we are getting taken to a castle.

Right, you hold on there.

Still holding out hope for her dream castle,

Kate begins the epic journey to her wedding.

No such hassle for Dan. For him, it's a short stroll.

What a view! Absolutely beautiful!

What better way to romance your bride on the biggest day of her life

than with a trip on a public ferry?

I never, ever thought, on my wedding day, I'd be getting on a ferry.

What's going on?!

-What's going on, Daniel?

-SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

MUSIC: 'O Sole Mio by Luciano Pavarotti

Is it down there? It is down there!

Wow.

Yeah, it means the world to me to be here for my mum,

you know, in spirit she's here

and I know she's brought these blue skies out so, yeah, it's...amazing.

All I've got through this whole thing is grief from them all

and I cannot wait for them to turn up at this venue today,

so I can just go, "It's organised! I'm romantic, me!

"Let's see one of your boyfriends pull this off."

And back on dry land, Kate's fairy-tale wedding

looks closer than ever.

-Mum, what's that?

-A castle!

"Walk down your aisle towards your castle."

KATE SQUEALS AND LAUGHS

-Do you think he's looking down on us?

-Could be.

I can't believe I actually got my castle! I've got my castle!

I know, amazing! What a castle!

I'm living the dream right now. I don't actually think I'm awake.

Wakey, wakey, Katie!

-Buongiorno!

-Hello. Yes, thank you.

-Oh, but where are we going?

-Prego.

-In a boat?

-Oh!

-Oh, my God.

-I thought we were going in there.

Oh, no!

Ohh... Thank you.

Where are we going now?!

KATE SHRIEKS

-The castle is behind us and we're going this way.

-I know.

So I don't really understand.

With Kate's dream of her castle retreating into the distance,

all the main players in Dan's drama are in place.

Where are you?! Kate's turning up in, like, two minutes!

Well, almost.

You're not even in a taxi, are you? You're not in a taxi.

Oh, what a couple of wallies.

The two best men who've been with me the whole three weeks,

you thought would be with you on the day and here at the start,

they're not here, they've not turned up

because Scott is probably getting chicken.

Honestly, guys, you stop to eat food and come late?

That's ridiculous, mate!

You've got to fit it in somewhere, haven't you?

-Can only go as quick as the taxi, mate.

-Couple of wallies!

Despite his best men, and though far from fair Verona,

Dan has brought the most enduring love story of all time to life.

After three weeks and 1,000 miles,

our star-crossed lovers are almost reunited.

# But with you I have learned just to let it out

# Now my heart is ready to burst... #

Oh, my God!

# I feel like I'm ready for love

# And I wanna be your everything and more... #

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Hello!

Oh, I love you!

-Oh, my God!

-Are you all right?

-Yeah. Yeah.

-Sure?

-Yeah.

-Em, can someone...?

-CRYING:

-Thank you.

Oh, my God! Everyone's here!

-Hey, baby.

-All right, Dan?

-How are you doing? All right? How are you?

-I'm fine.

-Are you OK?

-I've missed you so much.

I missed you so much. I love you.

-I don't want to be apart ever again.

-Nor me.

-Are you OK?

-I am now.

To honour the wish of Daniel to commemorate

the most 1500-century love story in the world...

-Oh, I love you!

-..can I please ask Kate and Daniel to read for us

part of the most suggestive speech

among the two lovers, Romeo and Juliet.

-Oh, this is amazing! Romeo and Juliet!

-That's us, isn't it?

-I love you!

-Ready to play your part?

-OK! Oh, my God!

"Oh, Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo?

"Deny thy father and refuse thy name, or if thou wilt not,

"but be shown my love and I'll longer be a Capulet.

"What's in a name?

"That which we call a rose by any other word would smell as sweet."

"Call me but love, and I'll be new baptised.

"Henceforth I'll never be Romeo."

We come now to the words Kate and Daniel want to hear the most today.

Daniel Aaron Openshaw, place the ring on Kate Louise Madison's finger

-and repeat after me, I give you this ring.

-I give you this ring.

-Wear it with love and joy.

-Wear it with love and joy.

-And this ring has no end.

-And this ring has no end.

-My love is also for ever.

-My love is also for ever.

-With this ring.

-With this ring.

-I marry you.

-I marry you.

-Wear this ring for ever.

-Wear this ring for ever.

-A sign of my love.

-A sign of my love.

Now it is my honour and delight to declare you husband and wife,

and you may seal this declaration with a kiss.

CHEERING

-Do you like it?

-I love it. I absolutely love it.

Hello, everyone! Are you all right?

KATE CHEERS

It's stunning, it's really romantic. I'm shocked.

Dan has done really, really well, yeah, really well.

I didn't expect anything like this, it is better than what I'd expected.

Yeah, I'm so happy Dan made me get on that plane. He forced me into it.

I thought, "You bastard, Dan! I can't say no,"

but I'm so glad now that he did.

I've loved every minute of it.

But has Dan achieved what he set out to do

and proved to Kate that he's no longer a hopeless hopeless romantic?

Dan, you've been so thoughtful through every little detail,

you've got everyone here, you've got my castle there,

-the Romeo And Juliet romantic theme is just amazing.

-You like it?

-I love it so much.

-Good.

-Princess Kate dreamed of a castle.

Has Dan's grand romantic plan lived up to her fairy tale?

-It is 100 times, one million times better. It's amazing.

-Really?

Dan, I promise you, it's beautiful, it's just amazing, I love you.

I love you more.

-You're so romantic.

-I am, aren't I? Not bad!

-You are, aren't you?

-Not bad!

And what romantic wedding would be complete...

..without a massive cake in the shape of Mount Vesuvius?

It's an explosive wedding!

MUSIC: That's Amore by Dean Martin

-It's all right, love, I've got you.

-That's so cool!

CHEERING

You guys have got to finish this by the end of the night, as well.

And as the curtain closes on the final act,

it seems our couple might just live NAPOLI ever after.

Next time...

Survivalist groom Tom plans an incredible wild wedding...

-Look at that!

-Oh, my God!

-..for his more traditional bride, Sue.

Mum, I'm panicking now because I'm thinking, "What am I going to get?"

Do you want to come over and see?

Can he pull off a wedding of a lifetime...

-I'm freezing!

-..or will his wild dreams end in a nightmare?

She's probably thinking, "Oh, my God, what's he done?"

Takes us to a forest in a big puffy dress

in the freezing cold in the middle of October?!

MUSIC: Bing! Bang! Bong! By Sophia Loren