Browse content similar to Episode 4. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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Families can be driven apart for all manner of reasons. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:05 | |
My mum went away and didn't come back. | 0:00:05 | 0:00:08 | |
And when you do lose touch with your loved ones... | 0:00:08 | 0:00:10 | |
I never saw Kathleen again. | 0:00:10 | 0:00:12 | |
..finding them can take a lifetime... | 0:00:12 | 0:00:15 | |
I wonder where he is. I wonder what he's doing. | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
You don't even know where to begin. | 0:00:17 | 0:00:20 | |
..especially when they could be anywhere - at home or abroad. | 0:00:20 | 0:00:23 | |
That's where the family finders come in. | 0:00:25 | 0:00:28 | |
Hi, it's the Salvation Army Family Tracing Service. | 0:00:28 | 0:00:31 | |
From international organisations... | 0:00:31 | 0:00:34 | |
There's never been a day when we have never had new enquiries. | 0:00:34 | 0:00:37 | |
..to genealogy detective agencies... | 0:00:37 | 0:00:40 | |
When was it you last got in contact with him? | 0:00:40 | 0:00:42 | |
..and dedicated one-man bands. | 0:00:42 | 0:00:44 | |
I like to do searches that other people can't get, | 0:00:44 | 0:00:47 | |
because it makes me feel good. | 0:00:47 | 0:00:48 | |
They hunt through history to bring families back together again. | 0:00:48 | 0:00:54 | |
You are my biological dad. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:56 | |
In this series, we follow the work of the family finders... | 0:00:56 | 0:00:59 | |
This case came from our Australian colleagues. | 0:00:59 | 0:01:02 | |
..learning the tricks they use | 0:01:02 | 0:01:03 | |
to track living relatives through time... | 0:01:03 | 0:01:06 | |
I'm 68 years of age. She is 75 years of age. And we're just starting off. | 0:01:06 | 0:01:10 | |
..and meeting the people whose lives they change along the way. | 0:01:10 | 0:01:14 | |
I said, well, this is your younger sister. | 0:01:14 | 0:01:16 | |
It's a miracle. | 0:01:16 | 0:01:18 | |
I was struck speechless. And I couldn't stop crying. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:21 | |
Proud moment. No doubt. | 0:01:21 | 0:01:23 | |
I was set on finding a family. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:25 | |
Our identity is what makes us unique. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:35 | |
And knowing where we came from is an important part of knowing | 0:01:35 | 0:01:39 | |
who we are. | 0:01:39 | 0:01:41 | |
For many people, this knowledge is hard to come by | 0:01:41 | 0:01:45 | |
and can mean a lifetime of searching for answers. | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
But chance, timing and a bit of luck can play | 0:01:50 | 0:01:53 | |
a big part in connecting a person with their past. | 0:01:53 | 0:01:56 | |
That was the case for 81-year-old Eric Morgan. | 0:01:58 | 0:02:01 | |
I was born in St Luke's Hospital in 1934. | 0:02:03 | 0:02:09 | |
And, in those days, that used to be the workhouse, in the olden days. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:14 | |
And, actually, I think the name for it was "the naughty girl's ward". | 0:02:16 | 0:02:24 | |
After Eric was born, his mother went | 0:02:25 | 0:02:27 | |
to work in the local textile industry with his father, George. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:31 | |
Me mother and dad both worked. | 0:02:31 | 0:02:33 | |
I mean, my mother worked really hard. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:36 | |
She was always good to me, but I didn't see that much of her. | 0:02:36 | 0:02:39 | |
When Eric Morgan arrived at the recruiting office in 1952, | 0:02:41 | 0:02:45 | |
to sign up for his National Service, | 0:02:45 | 0:02:47 | |
little did he know his life was about to be turned upside down. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:50 | |
I went down to the recruiting office. | 0:02:52 | 0:02:55 | |
And you had to take your birth certificate. | 0:02:55 | 0:02:57 | |
And me mother gave me me birth certificate. | 0:02:57 | 0:03:00 | |
I put it in me pocket and went to the recruiting office. I give them it. | 0:03:02 | 0:03:08 | |
He took some details. Give me it back. | 0:03:08 | 0:03:10 | |
I folded it up, put it in my pocket and I went back to see me mum. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:13 | |
And I said, "Oh, here you are," and she started crying. | 0:03:14 | 0:03:19 | |
And I said... | 0:03:19 | 0:03:21 | |
I said, "What's the matter?" | 0:03:27 | 0:03:29 | |
She said, "Have you read it?" | 0:03:29 | 0:03:30 | |
I said, "No." | 0:03:31 | 0:03:33 | |
She said, "Well, if you look, it's the adoption paper." | 0:03:34 | 0:03:37 | |
And I said, "Well, it don't matter, that." | 0:03:39 | 0:03:41 | |
I said, "You'll always be my mother, no matter what. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:44 | |
"You'll always be my mother. So forget it." | 0:03:44 | 0:03:48 | |
The news that he was adopted came as a massive shock for Eric, | 0:03:48 | 0:03:52 | |
and he yearned to know more about his true origins. | 0:03:52 | 0:03:56 | |
I wanted to know, to fill a vacant part in my life. | 0:03:56 | 0:04:03 | |
But there was an even bigger bombshell to come. | 0:04:03 | 0:04:06 | |
Took the adoption paper and went down to the registrar in Bradford. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:13 | |
I said, "From this, can I have a birth certificate?" | 0:04:13 | 0:04:17 | |
They said, "No problem." So he went round t'back, and he came back then, | 0:04:17 | 0:04:22 | |
and said to me, he said, "Oh, I'm sorry, lad, I can't find anything." | 0:04:22 | 0:04:28 | |
I said, "Why?" He said, "Well, there's nothing there about you." | 0:04:28 | 0:04:32 | |
I said, "Well, how many boys were | 0:04:34 | 0:04:36 | |
"born in St Luke's on the 17th of the sixth, 1934?" | 0:04:36 | 0:04:42 | |
He said, "Four. But you weren't one of them." | 0:04:42 | 0:04:45 | |
On top of everything else, Eric was now being told that, | 0:04:47 | 0:04:50 | |
as far as the records were concerned, he didn't exist. | 0:04:50 | 0:04:53 | |
With this monumental blow, he had no choice | 0:04:56 | 0:04:58 | |
but to leave the past where it was and get on with his life. | 0:04:58 | 0:05:01 | |
After completing National Service, he met his wife, Valerie, | 0:05:03 | 0:05:06 | |
and they went on to have a family of their own. | 0:05:06 | 0:05:09 | |
Eric Morgan never stopped wondering about his true identity | 0:05:10 | 0:05:14 | |
but he'd have to wait a lifetime before the secret | 0:05:14 | 0:05:16 | |
of his origins would become clear. | 0:05:16 | 0:05:18 | |
60 years later, in the Yorkshire town of Halifax, | 0:05:21 | 0:05:24 | |
another man was carrying out his own family search, | 0:05:24 | 0:05:27 | |
a search that would hold the key to the mystery. | 0:05:27 | 0:05:31 | |
I'd love to know who my real father was. | 0:05:31 | 0:05:34 | |
Brian Frith was born in a little village | 0:05:36 | 0:05:38 | |
near Bradford, to a single mother in 1935. | 0:05:38 | 0:05:42 | |
She later married and Brian was brought up by her | 0:05:43 | 0:05:46 | |
and his stepfather. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:48 | |
I knew he were my stepdad. | 0:05:49 | 0:05:50 | |
To be... In them days, he was my dad, but in name only. | 0:05:51 | 0:05:59 | |
It was things what people used to say. Why is your name different? | 0:05:59 | 0:06:03 | |
This, that and the other and called you a basket, all things like that. | 0:06:03 | 0:06:09 | |
Them things come out then. It didn't... | 0:06:09 | 0:06:14 | |
I wasn't worried about it because, like I say, | 0:06:14 | 0:06:18 | |
I had other brothers and sisters and a mother. | 0:06:18 | 0:06:21 | |
That was the main thing in them days. The mother was most important. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:25 | |
Brian grew up with his half sister, May, and her brothers and sisters | 0:06:26 | 0:06:30 | |
around the textile mills of Bradford where their parents both worked. | 0:06:30 | 0:06:35 | |
I knew they weren't my full brothers and sisters, | 0:06:35 | 0:06:37 | |
but as far as I was concerned, they was. | 0:06:37 | 0:06:40 | |
It was a happy house, put it that way. | 0:06:40 | 0:06:42 | |
We were no different to any other kids in that time, were we? | 0:06:42 | 0:06:46 | |
No, no. | 0:06:46 | 0:06:47 | |
Our mother was really hard-working and she loved all her kids. | 0:06:49 | 0:06:54 | |
-She did. -She did everything she could for us and it were happy. | 0:06:54 | 0:06:59 | |
In an evening when she'd finished her work, | 0:06:59 | 0:07:01 | |
she'd sit in an armchair near the fire | 0:07:01 | 0:07:04 | |
and we'd all sit on the arms round my mum and joke and talk. | 0:07:04 | 0:07:09 | |
Singing and that. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:10 | |
Since retirement, May has been trying to help Brian | 0:07:12 | 0:07:15 | |
find out the identity of his biological father. | 0:07:15 | 0:07:18 | |
Brian never knew who his father was and he was always wanting to know. | 0:07:18 | 0:07:23 | |
Every time I went to see him, he'd say, | 0:07:24 | 0:07:27 | |
"Have you found my dad yet?" | 0:07:27 | 0:07:30 | |
I'd like to know and then everything can be finalised | 0:07:30 | 0:07:35 | |
and I can say, well, that was my dad. | 0:07:35 | 0:07:38 | |
I might even change the family name. | 0:07:38 | 0:07:40 | |
Brian's birth certificate stated no named father, | 0:07:42 | 0:07:45 | |
so all May had to go on was Brian's surname, Frith. | 0:07:45 | 0:07:48 | |
I thought, what about if I just put the surname and put Bradford | 0:07:50 | 0:07:55 | |
and put what year I wanted. Would I find anything else? | 0:07:55 | 0:08:00 | |
May's search failed to come up with any Friths who were | 0:08:00 | 0:08:03 | |
the right age to be Brian's father, | 0:08:03 | 0:08:06 | |
but she did find a younger man listed with the same name. | 0:08:06 | 0:08:10 | |
I found E Frith, next to my brother who was B Frith. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:14 | |
E stood for Eric, and this Eric Frith's mother | 0:08:15 | 0:08:18 | |
had the same name as theirs, Elizabeth. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:21 | |
Had May stumbled across a family secret? | 0:08:21 | 0:08:25 | |
I haven't found another Elizabeth in Bradford at that age. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:31 | |
It suddenly seemed that Brian and May's mum could have had | 0:08:31 | 0:08:34 | |
another child, a half brother they never knew existed. | 0:08:34 | 0:08:38 | |
I thought, could he really be our brother? | 0:08:39 | 0:08:43 | |
I went to the Bradford register office and I told them | 0:08:43 | 0:08:46 | |
Elizabeth Frith was my mum and they supplied me | 0:08:46 | 0:08:51 | |
with the birth certificate for Eric. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:54 | |
And there it was in black and white. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:56 | |
We never knew that there was another brother at all. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:01 | |
It came as a big shock because my mum was really quiet | 0:09:01 | 0:09:05 | |
and you wouldn't think butter would melt in her mouth. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:08 | |
The birth certificate stated that Eric had been adopted | 0:09:10 | 0:09:13 | |
and May had a difficult decision to make. | 0:09:13 | 0:09:16 | |
The Adoption Society told me to think about it | 0:09:17 | 0:09:22 | |
because Eric was nearly 80 years old. | 0:09:22 | 0:09:26 | |
Did he know he was adopted? | 0:09:28 | 0:09:31 | |
Did he want anybody to find him and would it be a big shock to him? | 0:09:31 | 0:09:36 | |
May nearly decided not to make contact with Eric, | 0:09:36 | 0:09:40 | |
but speaking to her son made her think again. | 0:09:40 | 0:09:43 | |
He said, "Do you want to find out if he's your brother?" | 0:09:43 | 0:09:47 | |
I said, "Yes, I'd like to." And he says, "Well, go for it." So I did. | 0:09:47 | 0:09:54 | |
She got in contact with the Adoption Agency | 0:09:54 | 0:09:56 | |
to get the ball rolling and they revealed their new-found brother | 0:09:56 | 0:10:00 | |
was now going by the name of Eric Morgan, | 0:10:00 | 0:10:04 | |
the same Eric Morgan who, 60 years ago, had given up all | 0:10:04 | 0:10:08 | |
hope of ever finding his birth mother. | 0:10:08 | 0:10:11 | |
I got a letter from the Adoption Society and he said, | 0:10:11 | 0:10:15 | |
"We've had a lady who's claiming to be your stepsister." | 0:10:15 | 0:10:20 | |
I thought, "Oh, right." | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
After a lifetime of waiting, 81-year-old Eric had finally | 0:10:22 | 0:10:26 | |
found some birth relatives, or at least they had found him, but | 0:10:26 | 0:10:30 | |
there were still a few more bumps to come on the road to reunion. | 0:10:30 | 0:10:34 | |
I said to our May, "He's a con merchant." | 0:10:34 | 0:10:37 | |
He could be any Tom, Dick or Harry, couldn't he? | 0:10:38 | 0:10:42 | |
If you're adopted and thinking about tracing your birth | 0:10:47 | 0:10:50 | |
relatives, or if you're looking to find a relative who you | 0:10:50 | 0:10:53 | |
believe was adopted, here is some advice. | 0:10:53 | 0:10:55 | |
Before you start, think carefully about your motivations and | 0:10:57 | 0:11:00 | |
the impact making contact could have on you and everyone else involved. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:05 | |
Be prepared for all possible outcomes. | 0:11:06 | 0:11:09 | |
When you're ready, add your details to the Adoption Contact Register. | 0:11:10 | 0:11:14 | |
Both adopted adults and birth relatives can register a wish | 0:11:15 | 0:11:19 | |
to connect and if a link is made, | 0:11:19 | 0:11:21 | |
the adopted adults will be sent the birth relative's contact details. | 0:11:21 | 0:11:25 | |
Should you trace a relative, | 0:11:26 | 0:11:28 | |
enlist the help of an intermediary agency. | 0:11:28 | 0:11:31 | |
They'll act as a go-between and liaise between you | 0:11:31 | 0:11:34 | |
and the relative you've traced and help you maintain a sense of | 0:11:34 | 0:11:37 | |
privacy and control, until you both feel ready to be in direct contact. | 0:11:37 | 0:11:42 | |
There are many professional agencies you can use to help you | 0:11:45 | 0:11:48 | |
at different stages of the family finding process. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:51 | |
One of them is FinderMonkey in Leeds. | 0:11:51 | 0:11:54 | |
A lot of people that come to us | 0:11:54 | 0:11:56 | |
tell us that they've been really frustrated, sometimes, | 0:11:56 | 0:11:59 | |
for years on end, trying to find the person that they're looking for. | 0:11:59 | 0:12:03 | |
What we're able to do is find an exact match | 0:12:03 | 0:12:05 | |
because we have access to systems that are far more detailed than | 0:12:05 | 0:12:08 | |
they can access themselves. | 0:12:08 | 0:12:10 | |
30-year-old Stephen Hills was only a baby | 0:12:13 | 0:12:16 | |
when his dad lived at home and he has no memories of him. | 0:12:16 | 0:12:20 | |
I have always had questions in my mind. What does he look like? | 0:12:20 | 0:12:23 | |
What does he do? Where does he live? | 0:12:23 | 0:12:26 | |
Why it all broke down between him and my mum? | 0:12:26 | 0:12:30 | |
Stephen grew up with his mum and stepdad in Balby, Doncaster. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:33 | |
He was good to me. | 0:12:34 | 0:12:36 | |
When I was growing up, I had a brother and a sister, | 0:12:36 | 0:12:39 | |
both younger than me. | 0:12:39 | 0:12:42 | |
His family was always open | 0:12:42 | 0:12:43 | |
and honest with Stephen about his background. | 0:12:43 | 0:12:47 | |
When I was about ten, my mum and stepdad sat me down | 0:12:47 | 0:12:51 | |
in the back garden and told me that he | 0:12:51 | 0:12:54 | |
wasn't my real dad and asked me how I felt about it and what not. | 0:12:54 | 0:12:58 | |
If I'm honest, it was on my mind all the time | 0:12:59 | 0:13:02 | |
but I sort of put it to the back of my mind and got on with things. | 0:13:02 | 0:13:08 | |
As soon as I turned 16, 17, I joined the army and left. | 0:13:09 | 0:13:15 | |
Stephen was hoping to join the Coldstream Guards, | 0:13:15 | 0:13:18 | |
but, sadly, was unable to complete his training. | 0:13:18 | 0:13:22 | |
I had an accident in the army which made me medically discharged, | 0:13:22 | 0:13:25 | |
so, I moved out and started a family of my own. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:29 | |
But now, having children of his own, | 0:13:30 | 0:13:32 | |
made Stephen think again about finding his dad. | 0:13:32 | 0:13:35 | |
Now my kids are sort of growing up, I know how I'd feel | 0:13:35 | 0:13:40 | |
if I didn't know them, so that's why I wanted to get in touch with my dad. | 0:13:40 | 0:13:46 | |
Because me and Stephen are now getting married | 0:13:46 | 0:13:48 | |
and obviously he's got children, we've got a child together, I think | 0:13:48 | 0:13:52 | |
he wants his dad to be there for the children growing up. | 0:13:52 | 0:13:57 | |
He wants him to be there on his wedding day and things like that. | 0:13:57 | 0:14:00 | |
It really means a lot to him, so... | 0:14:00 | 0:14:02 | |
Stephen has attempted to trace his father over the past 15 years | 0:14:03 | 0:14:07 | |
but without success. | 0:14:07 | 0:14:09 | |
I asked my mum if she had any information, but she said | 0:14:09 | 0:14:12 | |
if she walked past him in the street, she wouldn't know him. | 0:14:12 | 0:14:15 | |
It's been 30 years now, it's been a long time. | 0:14:16 | 0:14:20 | |
Undeterred, Stephen started his search | 0:14:22 | 0:14:25 | |
and looked to his birth certificate for clues. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:28 | |
On the birth certificate, I've got his full name, where he was born, | 0:14:28 | 0:14:32 | |
what job he actually did. | 0:14:32 | 0:14:34 | |
His occupation was a coalface worker, | 0:14:34 | 0:14:36 | |
so he would've been a miner at the time. | 0:14:36 | 0:14:38 | |
With me being born, they were actually on strike, | 0:14:38 | 0:14:42 | |
so that might have been a big key to why him and my mum split up. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:49 | |
When I've asked my mum about it, | 0:14:49 | 0:14:51 | |
she's sort of gone a bit distant but I think they had a bad break-up. | 0:14:51 | 0:14:58 | |
Filled with curiosity about his father, | 0:14:58 | 0:15:00 | |
Stephen first tried to find him through social media sites. | 0:15:00 | 0:15:04 | |
When I typed his name up on the social media site, | 0:15:04 | 0:15:08 | |
quite a few names came up - | 0:15:08 | 0:15:10 | |
70 different people with the same name. | 0:15:10 | 0:15:12 | |
So I did think about messaging people but I didn't know what to write, | 0:15:14 | 0:15:20 | |
if I'm honest. | 0:15:20 | 0:15:22 | |
Frustrated, Stephen turned to the professionals. | 0:15:22 | 0:15:26 | |
I got in touch with the company FinderMonkey. | 0:15:26 | 0:15:30 | |
I didn't think they were going to get anywhere. | 0:15:30 | 0:15:33 | |
Basically, I thought, | 0:15:33 | 0:15:34 | |
"It's been 30 years, he's probably moved on with his life." | 0:15:34 | 0:15:38 | |
Stephen had been looking for his dad for 15 years, that's the | 0:15:41 | 0:15:45 | |
information that he gave us, but he'd been unable to locate a match. | 0:15:45 | 0:15:50 | |
Stephen gave the researchers what information he had. | 0:15:50 | 0:15:53 | |
His name, his age, where he was born. I gave them all that. | 0:15:53 | 0:15:58 | |
From that information, we went away | 0:15:59 | 0:16:01 | |
and looked for his marriage to Stephen's mum, | 0:16:01 | 0:16:05 | |
which we found, in 1982, and then we also, from then, | 0:16:05 | 0:16:10 | |
went back and looked for a birth record. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:12 | |
And we found somebody that we believed was the right one, | 0:16:12 | 0:16:15 | |
who was born in Kent in 1956. | 0:16:15 | 0:16:17 | |
We'd then wanted to try and trace him to a current address | 0:16:17 | 0:16:20 | |
so that we could contact him to find out | 0:16:20 | 0:16:22 | |
and confirm it was the right person. | 0:16:22 | 0:16:24 | |
If Stephen had have been trying to find an address for his dad | 0:16:24 | 0:16:27 | |
by himself, with the tools that are available to the general public | 0:16:27 | 0:16:30 | |
through online searches, | 0:16:30 | 0:16:32 | |
it would have been very difficult for him to do. | 0:16:32 | 0:16:35 | |
In just two weeks, the researchers were able to call Stephen | 0:16:35 | 0:16:39 | |
with the information he'd been waiting all his life to hear. | 0:16:39 | 0:16:43 | |
I saved their phone number in my phone, so I knew it was them | 0:16:43 | 0:16:46 | |
when they were ringing, and I was a bit... | 0:16:46 | 0:16:50 | |
Well, I got nervous, as soon as I picked the phone up, and then | 0:16:50 | 0:16:53 | |
they said that they've found someone that they believe to be my dad. | 0:16:53 | 0:16:58 | |
They told Stephen they'd write to the man they believed to be | 0:17:00 | 0:17:03 | |
his father on his behalf, saying he would like to get in touch. | 0:17:03 | 0:17:07 | |
"Dear Mr Woodcock, we are people that find lost families. | 0:17:10 | 0:17:16 | |
"We are trying to contact a Mr Alan John Woodcock, born in Kent, | 0:17:16 | 0:17:22 | |
"lived in Doncaster in the '80s." | 0:17:22 | 0:17:24 | |
Rang the phone number on the letter and... | 0:17:26 | 0:17:33 | |
..they told me that my son has been trying to contact me, | 0:17:36 | 0:17:42 | |
and I went... | 0:17:42 | 0:17:44 | |
I went silent on the phone, | 0:17:44 | 0:17:46 | |
went...was struck dumb... | 0:17:46 | 0:17:50 | |
in surprise, with surprise. | 0:17:50 | 0:17:55 | |
And the... I don't... | 0:17:55 | 0:17:56 | |
Eventually, the voice on the phone says, | 0:17:56 | 0:18:01 | |
"Are you still there?" | 0:18:01 | 0:18:03 | |
I said, "Yes." | 0:18:03 | 0:18:04 | |
He said to me, "Have you took it in?" | 0:18:04 | 0:18:07 | |
And I said, "Well, no, not really, but, yes." | 0:18:07 | 0:18:11 | |
"And do you want us to tell him?" | 0:18:13 | 0:18:16 | |
I says, "Well, yes, I do, and you can pass my details onto him." | 0:18:16 | 0:18:22 | |
Alan was born into a mining family in Kent in the 1950s. | 0:18:22 | 0:18:28 | |
I was born in 1956, in Dover. | 0:18:28 | 0:18:32 | |
Went to a boarding school... | 0:18:32 | 0:18:34 | |
And then the... | 0:18:36 | 0:18:37 | |
When I left school at 15, I went down the pit. | 0:18:37 | 0:18:43 | |
Alan was a miner at the Bentley Colliery in Doncaster, | 0:18:44 | 0:18:48 | |
one of the largest mining areas in the country. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:51 | |
He worked on the coalface. | 0:18:51 | 0:18:53 | |
Pit bottom is lit - electric light and everything - | 0:18:54 | 0:18:58 | |
but when you get away from pit bottom, | 0:18:58 | 0:19:01 | |
and you get up to the coalface, it's blacker than black, | 0:19:01 | 0:19:06 | |
darker than the darkest night. | 0:19:06 | 0:19:10 | |
If you turned your lamp off, | 0:19:10 | 0:19:12 | |
and went like that, you couldn't see your hand. | 0:19:12 | 0:19:14 | |
On the coalface, it could be quite warm, | 0:19:14 | 0:19:17 | |
and you'd work in... work in your underwear. | 0:19:17 | 0:19:22 | |
Just your under... a pair of pants on, | 0:19:22 | 0:19:25 | |
and your belt, with your battery and your rescuer, | 0:19:25 | 0:19:28 | |
and your kneepads, and your boots and your helmet. | 0:19:28 | 0:19:31 | |
Alan lived with Stephen's mother in the village next to the colliery. | 0:19:34 | 0:19:38 | |
I met Stephen's mother... | 0:19:38 | 0:19:40 | |
..about three or four years before the strike. | 0:19:43 | 0:19:45 | |
And... | 0:19:47 | 0:19:48 | |
..we were courting and got married. | 0:19:51 | 0:19:55 | |
Bought my own... we'd bought our own house, | 0:19:55 | 0:19:58 | |
and then the strike came, | 0:19:58 | 0:20:03 | |
and it just fell apart from then onwards, | 0:20:03 | 0:20:06 | |
cos the... basically because of the strike. | 0:20:06 | 0:20:09 | |
-Breaking through the police lines... -The 1984-85 miners' strike | 0:20:09 | 0:20:13 | |
was a major conflict across the whole of | 0:20:13 | 0:20:15 | |
the UK coal mining industry... | 0:20:15 | 0:20:17 | |
You are nicked! | 0:20:17 | 0:20:19 | |
..and signalled the end of coal mining in Britain - | 0:20:19 | 0:20:22 | |
a state-subsidised and nationalised industry | 0:20:22 | 0:20:25 | |
since the end of World War II. | 0:20:25 | 0:20:28 | |
In 1984, the National Coal Board announced measures that would | 0:20:28 | 0:20:31 | |
mean heavy job losses, and the closure of many pits. | 0:20:31 | 0:20:34 | |
CROWD YELLS | 0:20:34 | 0:20:36 | |
With tens of thousands of jobs at stake, the unions resisted, | 0:20:36 | 0:20:40 | |
and in 1984, the leader of the National Union of Mineworkers, | 0:20:40 | 0:20:44 | |
Arthur Scargill, called for a national strike. | 0:20:44 | 0:20:47 | |
We shall now take those steps which are essential and necessary, | 0:20:47 | 0:20:50 | |
to blockade all steel plants, power plants and other industry. | 0:20:50 | 0:20:54 | |
It became one of the most bitter disputes in recent history. | 0:20:54 | 0:20:57 | |
Jobs! Jobs! Jobs! Jobs! Jobs! | 0:20:57 | 0:21:00 | |
As hardships increased, the strike split communities, | 0:21:00 | 0:21:04 | |
as some miners returned to work for the sake of their families. | 0:21:04 | 0:21:08 | |
Others refused to break the strike, and relied on support | 0:21:09 | 0:21:12 | |
through soup kitchens and fundraising benefits. | 0:21:12 | 0:21:15 | |
The strike ended on the 3rd of March 1985, | 0:21:15 | 0:21:19 | |
following a union vote to return to work. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:22 | |
It was seen as a major political victory for Margaret Thatcher. | 0:21:22 | 0:21:26 | |
There was a lot of lads' wives supported the strike, | 0:21:28 | 0:21:33 | |
and went on marches and picket duty, | 0:21:33 | 0:21:38 | |
or worked in... | 0:21:38 | 0:21:40 | |
in the kitchens, the soup kitchens. | 0:21:40 | 0:21:43 | |
The money obviously stopped coming in, | 0:21:43 | 0:21:47 | |
and we were living on, well, a shoestring, | 0:21:47 | 0:21:54 | |
and the times were hard and that was it. | 0:21:54 | 0:22:00 | |
Hard keeping the house warm in the winter, | 0:22:00 | 0:22:03 | |
and she just broke down. | 0:22:03 | 0:22:06 | |
We separated and that was it. | 0:22:06 | 0:22:08 | |
The last time I saw Stephen, he was a bit more than a babe in arms. | 0:22:10 | 0:22:15 | |
I think he was walking, but every time I went up, | 0:22:15 | 0:22:19 | |
there was an argument, and I didn't want to go up and argue. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:25 | |
I was going up to see Stephen. | 0:22:25 | 0:22:27 | |
So I just said, in the end, | 0:22:27 | 0:22:30 | |
"I'll stay away," | 0:22:30 | 0:22:33 | |
and lost touch. | 0:22:33 | 0:22:36 | |
30 years later, and Alan now had Stephen's phone number, | 0:22:38 | 0:22:43 | |
but making contact was never going to be easy, | 0:22:43 | 0:22:46 | |
and meeting face-to-face even harder. | 0:22:46 | 0:22:49 | |
What will happen when this father meets the son he's never known? | 0:22:51 | 0:22:55 | |
As a young man, Eric Morgan discovered he was adopted but was | 0:23:06 | 0:23:10 | |
told that as far as the records were concerned, he didn't actually exist. | 0:23:10 | 0:23:14 | |
His identity remained a mystery until 60 years later | 0:23:16 | 0:23:19 | |
when May and Brian Frith tracked him down. | 0:23:19 | 0:23:22 | |
It appeared from May's research | 0:23:22 | 0:23:24 | |
that all three of them shared the same mother. | 0:23:24 | 0:23:26 | |
It said, "We've found out that in this area, | 0:23:28 | 0:23:33 | |
"there was a boy adopted called Eric Frith, | 0:23:33 | 0:23:39 | |
"which we now think turned into Eric Morgan." | 0:23:39 | 0:23:44 | |
With the help of the Adoption Society that May was | 0:23:46 | 0:23:48 | |
using as an intermediary, it emerged that Eric had been born | 0:23:48 | 0:23:52 | |
Eric Frith, and only been given the new surname Morgan at a later date. | 0:23:52 | 0:23:57 | |
This finally explained why Eric had been told he didn't exist. | 0:23:57 | 0:24:02 | |
He'd been searching under the wrong name all those years ago. | 0:24:02 | 0:24:06 | |
The Adoption Society made clear to Eric | 0:24:06 | 0:24:09 | |
that the ball was now in his court. | 0:24:09 | 0:24:11 | |
They said, "You don't have to see this lady. | 0:24:11 | 0:24:16 | |
"If you say forget it, we'll forget it now." | 0:24:16 | 0:24:20 | |
After all this time, did he want to revisit his past? | 0:24:22 | 0:24:26 | |
They said, "Would you mind if I gave May your address?" | 0:24:27 | 0:24:32 | |
I said, "Well, yeah, go on, then." | 0:24:33 | 0:24:37 | |
With nothing to lose and everything to gain, | 0:24:37 | 0:24:40 | |
Eric waited for May to write him a letter. | 0:24:40 | 0:24:42 | |
When I wrote the letter, I just said, | 0:24:42 | 0:24:44 | |
"Hello, Eric, I think you might be my brother, half-brother. | 0:24:44 | 0:24:51 | |
"Erm, your mother has the same name as my mother, | 0:24:51 | 0:24:56 | |
"and would you be interested in meeting?" | 0:24:56 | 0:25:00 | |
She said, "Eric, you don't have to answer this, if you don't want." | 0:25:00 | 0:25:05 | |
"But if you do, ring this number." | 0:25:05 | 0:25:08 | |
So I rang the number and it was May. | 0:25:08 | 0:25:11 | |
I said, "How have you done all this?" | 0:25:12 | 0:25:14 | |
And she said, "I've done it on t'computer." | 0:25:14 | 0:25:16 | |
It turned out the family were practically neighbours. | 0:25:16 | 0:25:20 | |
When we found Eric, | 0:25:20 | 0:25:22 | |
he lived five minutes away from my sister Margaret. | 0:25:22 | 0:25:25 | |
They probably walked past one another on the street. | 0:25:26 | 0:25:29 | |
She said, "Do you think we could meet up?" | 0:25:29 | 0:25:32 | |
And I said, "Yeah, we can do." | 0:25:32 | 0:25:34 | |
For May, there was an instant connection. | 0:25:34 | 0:25:37 | |
It wasn't as if we were meeting strangers. | 0:25:38 | 0:25:41 | |
We just walked in and says "Hello" | 0:25:41 | 0:25:43 | |
and talked about different things from the past. | 0:25:43 | 0:25:47 | |
But when Brian met Eric he was suspicious. | 0:25:47 | 0:25:51 | |
Was this man REALLY related to them? | 0:25:51 | 0:25:54 | |
I said to our May, "He's a con merchant." | 0:25:55 | 0:25:57 | |
Because he evaded saying when I asked him things. | 0:25:59 | 0:26:02 | |
So, I thought, well... | 0:26:02 | 0:26:04 | |
is he really | 0:26:04 | 0:26:06 | |
my brother? | 0:26:06 | 0:26:08 | |
Even now, Brian remained unconvinced. | 0:26:08 | 0:26:12 | |
At the moment, he could be any Tom, Dick or Harry, couldn't he? | 0:26:12 | 0:26:16 | |
May suggested they do a DNA test to find out once and for all | 0:26:17 | 0:26:22 | |
if Eric really was their half-brother. | 0:26:22 | 0:26:24 | |
The three of them sent their swab samples to a testing company, | 0:26:26 | 0:26:30 | |
who carried out a test much like one DNA scientist Chris Jones | 0:26:30 | 0:26:34 | |
is carrying out here. | 0:26:34 | 0:26:35 | |
The tests themselves have pretty big implications | 0:26:35 | 0:26:38 | |
when you're doing any kind of relationship testing, | 0:26:38 | 0:26:41 | |
or paternity testing. | 0:26:41 | 0:26:42 | |
DNA is a very small thing. It doesn't look much in the lab | 0:26:42 | 0:26:45 | |
but it can have a really big impact out in the real world of people. | 0:26:45 | 0:26:48 | |
A complex extraction process | 0:26:48 | 0:26:50 | |
isolates each person's DNA | 0:26:50 | 0:26:52 | |
so that it can be effectively compared. | 0:26:52 | 0:26:54 | |
I'm going to start the sequencer now. | 0:26:54 | 0:26:56 | |
It will analyse all the DNA, | 0:26:56 | 0:26:58 | |
so using the software downstairs | 0:26:58 | 0:27:00 | |
we'll be able to get a visual representation of the DNA | 0:27:00 | 0:27:03 | |
for use in the analysis. | 0:27:03 | 0:27:05 | |
The results usually take around two days to come through. | 0:27:05 | 0:27:08 | |
Will science rewrite history for Brian, May and Eric? | 0:27:08 | 0:27:13 | |
Tomorrow Alan and Stephen are going | 0:27:20 | 0:27:23 | |
to meet face-to-face for the first time in 30 years. | 0:27:23 | 0:27:26 | |
And not only that, | 0:27:28 | 0:27:29 | |
Alan will also meet his granddaughter, Lily Grace, | 0:27:29 | 0:27:33 | |
and Stephen's fiancee, Steph. | 0:27:33 | 0:27:35 | |
I think he's really nervous to meet him, | 0:27:35 | 0:27:37 | |
but at the same time he's really excited. | 0:27:37 | 0:27:39 | |
Obviously, he wants to meet his dad, he wants to see what he's like, | 0:27:39 | 0:27:43 | |
if they like each other... | 0:27:43 | 0:27:44 | |
Because I've said he does look like him, so, yeah. | 0:27:44 | 0:27:47 | |
I am a bit nervous... | 0:27:49 | 0:27:50 | |
but I don't know what to expect. | 0:27:50 | 0:27:53 | |
I think he will just... go with the flow. | 0:27:53 | 0:27:56 | |
I'm more nervous, I would say. | 0:27:56 | 0:28:00 | |
What I want to do today is take them out for a meal... | 0:28:02 | 0:28:06 | |
..and get to know...all of them. | 0:28:09 | 0:28:11 | |
And then, hopefully, later on, | 0:28:14 | 0:28:16 | |
me and Stephen can go out and have a pint. | 0:28:16 | 0:28:20 | |
As Alan makes the 100-mile journey from his home in Stoke, | 0:28:25 | 0:28:30 | |
Stephen drives to the arranged meeting place | 0:28:30 | 0:28:32 | |
close to his home in Pontefract. | 0:28:32 | 0:28:35 | |
I didn't get a good night's sleep. A bit of... | 0:28:35 | 0:28:37 | |
Kept waking up. | 0:28:37 | 0:28:39 | |
I think it's to do with nerves for today. | 0:28:39 | 0:28:41 | |
So... | 0:28:41 | 0:28:43 | |
It's been 30 years since I've seen him. | 0:28:45 | 0:28:48 | |
I'm very anx...apprehensious. | 0:28:49 | 0:28:51 | |
Can't even pronounce it! | 0:28:51 | 0:28:53 | |
I don't know what I'll have to drink. What you having? | 0:28:57 | 0:29:00 | |
-Can I have one? -Mm-hm. | 0:29:00 | 0:29:01 | |
Stephen is the first to arrive, but steps outside | 0:29:07 | 0:29:11 | |
in nervous anticipation of his father's arrival. | 0:29:11 | 0:29:14 | |
Hiya. You all right? | 0:29:30 | 0:29:31 | |
I am now. | 0:29:31 | 0:29:32 | |
-Are you? -Aye. -Come on then. | 0:29:32 | 0:29:34 | |
Stepping into the role of dad after 30 years | 0:29:36 | 0:29:39 | |
isn't necessarily going to be easy for Alan. | 0:29:39 | 0:29:42 | |
I can see you properly, now. | 0:29:43 | 0:29:44 | |
-Hiya. You all right? -I am now. | 0:29:44 | 0:29:47 | |
Good, good. | 0:29:47 | 0:29:48 | |
It all starts off well, with Alan having made the effort | 0:29:48 | 0:29:52 | |
to get a present for his young granddaughter. | 0:29:52 | 0:29:54 | |
Who's that? | 0:29:54 | 0:29:55 | |
-Peppa Pig! -Peppa Pig, yeah! | 0:29:55 | 0:29:57 | |
-What do you say? -Thank you. | 0:29:57 | 0:30:00 | |
But despite a good start, | 0:30:00 | 0:30:02 | |
the emotions seem to get the better of him. | 0:30:02 | 0:30:05 | |
Having gathered his thoughts, | 0:30:09 | 0:30:11 | |
Alan returns and settles happily | 0:30:11 | 0:30:13 | |
into the role of father and grandfather. | 0:30:13 | 0:30:16 | |
Are you watching? | 0:30:16 | 0:30:18 | |
Watch again. Are you watching? | 0:30:18 | 0:30:20 | |
-Blow. -SHE BLOWS | 0:30:20 | 0:30:23 | |
I ain't got it. | 0:30:23 | 0:30:25 | |
Here. Put it in your pocket. | 0:30:28 | 0:30:30 | |
-What do you say? -Thank you. | 0:30:30 | 0:30:32 | |
-How's it going? -Spot on. -Good. | 0:30:32 | 0:30:34 | |
I brought some photos and that. | 0:30:34 | 0:30:38 | |
There's a lot of ground to be covered after 30 years apart | 0:30:38 | 0:30:41 | |
so to get things started, | 0:30:41 | 0:30:43 | |
Stephen's brought along some photos of him as a boy. | 0:30:43 | 0:30:46 | |
-That you? -It doesn't look like him, I say. -It doesn't. | 0:30:47 | 0:30:51 | |
And Alan's also brought photos, including one of him as a child. | 0:30:51 | 0:30:55 | |
Me and my sister Maureen. | 0:30:55 | 0:30:57 | |
So when was this? | 0:30:57 | 0:31:00 | |
I was about 10. | 0:31:00 | 0:31:01 | |
And that's your grandad. | 0:31:01 | 0:31:04 | |
He died... | 0:31:04 | 0:31:05 | |
He's been dead... | 0:31:05 | 0:31:08 | |
eight years this coming February. | 0:31:08 | 0:31:11 | |
Then it's time for a photo for the new family album. | 0:31:11 | 0:31:14 | |
-Are you going to cheese? ALL: -Cheese. | 0:31:14 | 0:31:16 | |
-Who's that? -Erm... | 0:31:21 | 0:31:22 | |
-STEPH WHISPERS: -Grandad Alan. | 0:31:22 | 0:31:25 | |
-Ga... -Grandad Alan. | 0:31:25 | 0:31:27 | |
Grandad Alan! | 0:31:27 | 0:31:28 | |
Off to a good, if tentative, start. | 0:31:30 | 0:31:33 | |
Alan is keen for Stephen to know more about his life. | 0:31:33 | 0:31:36 | |
The last time Alan saw Stephen, 30 years ago, | 0:31:38 | 0:31:42 | |
he was still working as a miner. | 0:31:42 | 0:31:44 | |
And today he wants to show him the site of the coalmine | 0:31:46 | 0:31:50 | |
where he used to work. | 0:31:50 | 0:31:51 | |
When was the last time you was here? | 0:31:51 | 0:31:53 | |
'87, I think it was. '88. | 0:31:56 | 0:31:58 | |
By 1985 the strikers were defeated, | 0:32:00 | 0:32:03 | |
and by the '90s, most pits in the country had closed. | 0:32:03 | 0:32:07 | |
Bentley colliery was demolished in 1984 | 0:32:08 | 0:32:11 | |
and is now woodland. | 0:32:11 | 0:32:13 | |
Parts of the old rock-cutting works now mark the site | 0:32:17 | 0:32:20 | |
where the mine once stood. | 0:32:20 | 0:32:22 | |
This is a cutting head. | 0:32:23 | 0:32:25 | |
A disc. | 0:32:26 | 0:32:27 | |
I haven't seen one of them for years. | 0:32:31 | 0:32:34 | |
Something I never expected to see again. | 0:32:35 | 0:32:37 | |
The old mining equipment, so familiar to Alan, | 0:32:39 | 0:32:42 | |
is totally alien to Stephen. | 0:32:42 | 0:32:45 | |
They didn't actually cut coal, them. | 0:32:45 | 0:32:47 | |
They cut rock. | 0:32:47 | 0:32:48 | |
Right. | 0:32:48 | 0:32:50 | |
They make the roadways. | 0:32:50 | 0:32:52 | |
The whole hill is a product of the coal waste | 0:32:54 | 0:32:56 | |
from the colliery's past. | 0:32:56 | 0:32:58 | |
Well, it was a slag heap. | 0:32:58 | 0:33:01 | |
Piles of slack. | 0:33:02 | 0:33:04 | |
Coal dust. | 0:33:04 | 0:33:06 | |
What couldn't be used. | 0:33:06 | 0:33:08 | |
I lived... | 0:33:10 | 0:33:11 | |
Well, me and your mum lived in Adwick-le-Street, didn't we? | 0:33:11 | 0:33:15 | |
Over there. | 0:33:15 | 0:33:16 | |
Has she spoke about it? | 0:33:16 | 0:33:17 | |
No. | 0:33:17 | 0:33:18 | |
That's where we bought our house, Adwick-le-Street | 0:33:21 | 0:33:24 | |
which was... | 0:33:24 | 0:33:26 | |
The pit was here, Bentley was there, | 0:33:26 | 0:33:29 | |
Adwick-le-Street was here. | 0:33:29 | 0:33:31 | |
-In the middle. -Yeah, the pit was in the middle. | 0:33:31 | 0:33:33 | |
But it's altered a hell of a lot. | 0:33:35 | 0:33:36 | |
What was it like around here, then? | 0:33:40 | 0:33:42 | |
Erm, well... | 0:33:44 | 0:33:45 | |
They employed lots of men | 0:33:48 | 0:33:50 | |
working underground, | 0:33:50 | 0:33:52 | |
digging coal out, basically. | 0:33:52 | 0:33:54 | |
In fact, the workings will still be there. | 0:33:54 | 0:33:57 | |
Underneath our feet. | 0:33:57 | 0:33:59 | |
Mm-hm. | 0:33:59 | 0:34:00 | |
Before the strike it was a completely different place. | 0:34:00 | 0:34:04 | |
And then the strike... | 0:34:06 | 0:34:09 | |
And, erm... | 0:34:09 | 0:34:10 | |
..the men didn't have so much say | 0:34:12 | 0:34:16 | |
in the matter, | 0:34:16 | 0:34:18 | |
how the job was done. | 0:34:18 | 0:34:19 | |
It was, "We're the managers, and you will do as we say." | 0:34:21 | 0:34:24 | |
That's what killed it. | 0:34:26 | 0:34:28 | |
They wanted the average working man | 0:34:28 | 0:34:32 | |
under the thumb. | 0:34:32 | 0:34:33 | |
And the miners, | 0:34:33 | 0:34:35 | |
we weren't going to stand for it. | 0:34:35 | 0:34:37 | |
So, that's what basically killed it. | 0:34:39 | 0:34:42 | |
Not a question of closing it, it ruined people's lives, didn't it? | 0:34:42 | 0:34:45 | |
And they had no work. | 0:34:47 | 0:34:50 | |
Areas died off. | 0:34:50 | 0:34:51 | |
The nerves and the tension leading up to their meeting | 0:34:53 | 0:34:55 | |
have now subsided. | 0:34:55 | 0:34:57 | |
It's a lot more calmer, less nervous now. | 0:34:57 | 0:35:00 | |
I want to get to know you better. | 0:35:03 | 0:35:05 | |
If that all goes well, I'd like you to probably come to my wedding | 0:35:07 | 0:35:10 | |
and be a part of that day. | 0:35:10 | 0:35:13 | |
Well, as I said about coming down here, | 0:35:14 | 0:35:16 | |
wild horses wouldn't keep me away. | 0:35:16 | 0:35:19 | |
Right. | 0:35:19 | 0:35:20 | |
I'm very proud. | 0:35:20 | 0:35:22 | |
You achieved something I never did, | 0:35:22 | 0:35:24 | |
which I wanted to do, but I never did - is get into the army. | 0:35:24 | 0:35:28 | |
I think I've had a good life. | 0:35:29 | 0:35:32 | |
-But it's going to get better now I've got you. -Yeah. | 0:35:32 | 0:35:34 | |
-Same. -Good. | 0:35:34 | 0:35:36 | |
Shown him a bit about my life, | 0:35:41 | 0:35:42 | |
and he's told me | 0:35:42 | 0:35:45 | |
what I've missed out on. | 0:35:45 | 0:35:48 | |
And I've been invited to the wedding | 0:35:48 | 0:35:50 | |
and we are going to go and have a few beers. | 0:35:50 | 0:35:52 | |
Today's gone well, | 0:35:53 | 0:35:55 | |
and obviously today is the first step of many. | 0:35:55 | 0:35:58 | |
He seems proud of me, so... | 0:36:00 | 0:36:03 | |
See how the future comes. | 0:36:04 | 0:36:06 | |
In Warrington, the DNA results are in. | 0:36:14 | 0:36:17 | |
Do Brian, May and Eric share the same mother? | 0:36:17 | 0:36:21 | |
The result of the analysis shows, | 0:36:21 | 0:36:24 | |
with a probability of 99.9067% | 0:36:24 | 0:36:27 | |
that Eric is the half-sibling of May Gray, | 0:36:27 | 0:36:30 | |
sharing the same biological mother. | 0:36:30 | 0:36:33 | |
So Eric and May are definitely related. | 0:36:33 | 0:36:36 | |
But there was more. | 0:36:36 | 0:36:38 | |
Brian's hunch had been right - Eric isn't his half-brother, at all. | 0:36:38 | 0:36:43 | |
Eric is the full sibling of Brian Frith, | 0:36:43 | 0:36:45 | |
sharing both the biological mother and a biological father. | 0:36:45 | 0:36:50 | |
Instead, remarkably, it turned out Brian and Eric | 0:36:50 | 0:36:54 | |
are actually full brothers. | 0:36:54 | 0:36:56 | |
When we got the results, we were all over the moon. | 0:36:56 | 0:36:59 | |
It came through that he was full brother. | 0:36:59 | 0:37:04 | |
And I would've give you 1,000-to-1, that I wasn't their step-brother... | 0:37:04 | 0:37:10 | |
but when I found out I were Brian's proper brother... | 0:37:10 | 0:37:13 | |
-That were a shock, wasn't it? -That were a real shock. -Yeah, yeah. | 0:37:13 | 0:37:17 | |
As you're getting older, | 0:37:17 | 0:37:18 | |
something like that that comes out of the blue... | 0:37:18 | 0:37:22 | |
-Yeah, yeah. -It's so good, isn't it? -Yeah. | 0:37:22 | 0:37:24 | |
And now the three siblings are wasting no time, | 0:37:26 | 0:37:28 | |
making up for the years they've missed out on. | 0:37:28 | 0:37:31 | |
Hiya, love! How you going on? | 0:37:31 | 0:37:33 | |
Fine, thank you. How are you? | 0:37:33 | 0:37:34 | |
I'm very well. And how are you, Brian? | 0:37:34 | 0:37:37 | |
-Are you all right, our kid? -I am, lad, aye. Up! | 0:37:37 | 0:37:40 | |
-Can you manage? -Glad to see you. | 0:37:40 | 0:37:42 | |
But there's one mystery that remains unsolved. | 0:37:44 | 0:37:47 | |
Brian's always wondered who his father was. | 0:37:47 | 0:37:50 | |
-If you're brothers... -Yeah. | 0:37:50 | 0:37:52 | |
So if he were my father, he's got to be yours. | 0:37:52 | 0:37:54 | |
As full brothers, | 0:37:54 | 0:37:56 | |
Brian and Eric have the same dad, | 0:37:56 | 0:37:59 | |
but as neither of them have details | 0:37:59 | 0:38:00 | |
of a father listed on their birth certificates, | 0:38:00 | 0:38:02 | |
neither can be sure who that man was. | 0:38:02 | 0:38:06 | |
What they do know is all three of them - | 0:38:06 | 0:38:08 | |
Brian, Eric and May - share the same mother. | 0:38:08 | 0:38:12 | |
-You'd have loved mother. -Yeah. -You would. -Yeah, yeah. | 0:38:12 | 0:38:15 | |
-It's like putting your last piece of jigsaw in. -Yeah. | 0:38:15 | 0:38:18 | |
And it's... | 0:38:18 | 0:38:21 | |
But, in the other hand, it's made me a bit sorrowful, | 0:38:21 | 0:38:25 | |
because I think I've missed out on a family. | 0:38:27 | 0:38:31 | |
Well, we've missed out on having... | 0:38:31 | 0:38:33 | |
I have, in one sense, having another brother. | 0:38:33 | 0:38:36 | |
And you can't blame your brothers and sisters... | 0:38:36 | 0:38:40 | |
-No. -No. -No. -..for what's happened. | 0:38:40 | 0:38:42 | |
And you can't blame anybody, right? | 0:38:42 | 0:38:44 | |
-It's just circumstances. -That's right. | 0:38:44 | 0:38:46 | |
In those days, women went through | 0:38:46 | 0:38:49 | |
what they shouldn't have gone through. | 0:38:49 | 0:38:52 | |
They'd no choice. | 0:38:52 | 0:38:54 | |
They had to work, they had to bring the kids up. | 0:38:54 | 0:38:56 | |
May and Brian have come up with a way | 0:38:58 | 0:39:00 | |
to try and share their memories of their mother with Eric. | 0:39:00 | 0:39:03 | |
They are taking him to visit their childhood home. | 0:39:03 | 0:39:06 | |
So, what do your family think about it, then? | 0:39:07 | 0:39:10 | |
-Oh, they're chuffed. -Good. | 0:39:10 | 0:39:12 | |
They all said to us, "Well, do we change us name now to Frith? | 0:39:14 | 0:39:19 | |
Mind, it's a big drop, May. | 0:39:21 | 0:39:22 | |
And you've got your Cuban heels on. | 0:39:22 | 0:39:25 | |
Well, that makes it higher for me, don't it? | 0:39:25 | 0:39:28 | |
Eric is just metres away from where his mother spent her adult life. | 0:39:28 | 0:39:32 | |
Just across there...was our house. | 0:39:33 | 0:39:35 | |
Number one. | 0:39:35 | 0:39:37 | |
That's where we'd have lived. | 0:39:37 | 0:39:39 | |
Just about there where that lamppost is. | 0:39:39 | 0:39:41 | |
Yeah. Them's all new houses now. | 0:39:41 | 0:39:44 | |
But in our day, we'd a gas lamp there. | 0:39:44 | 0:39:46 | |
And I used to get out the bedroom window | 0:39:46 | 0:39:50 | |
and come down the gas lamp, sneak out. | 0:39:50 | 0:39:53 | |
LAUGHS: You were a little devil, Brian, weren't you? | 0:39:53 | 0:39:55 | |
That makes two of you, don't it? From what I've heard! | 0:39:55 | 0:39:58 | |
Yeah, HE were a little devil! | 0:39:58 | 0:40:01 | |
-This street probably would've been full of kids. -It was. Yeah. It was. | 0:40:01 | 0:40:04 | |
Playing hopscotch, skipping... | 0:40:04 | 0:40:07 | |
-And there'd be no cars. -No. -Oh, no! | 0:40:07 | 0:40:09 | |
Bonfire Night, the greengrocer's here... | 0:40:09 | 0:40:12 | |
We all had a bit bonfire at the bottom of the street | 0:40:12 | 0:40:15 | |
and the greengrocer's here used to put potatoes on't fire for us. | 0:40:15 | 0:40:19 | |
We had it here, once. | 0:40:19 | 0:40:21 | |
The differences between Eric's childhood | 0:40:23 | 0:40:25 | |
and that of his new-found siblings are starting to sink in. | 0:40:25 | 0:40:29 | |
With me being an only child, | 0:40:30 | 0:40:32 | |
I think, "What did I miss?" | 0:40:32 | 0:40:36 | |
when there was all that family. | 0:40:36 | 0:40:38 | |
And they tell me what they used to do as kids. | 0:40:38 | 0:40:41 | |
I missed all that. | 0:40:41 | 0:40:43 | |
I would never forget my stepmum. | 0:40:43 | 0:40:46 | |
But Eric longs for a stronger connection with birth mother | 0:40:47 | 0:40:50 | |
Elizabeth. | 0:40:50 | 0:40:51 | |
The only thing that annoys me is, why can't I love her? | 0:40:51 | 0:40:55 | |
Because you never knew her. | 0:40:55 | 0:40:57 | |
That's it. That's it exactly, isn't it? | 0:40:57 | 0:40:59 | |
I never knew her. | 0:40:59 | 0:41:01 | |
-But I know you would've done, if you'd had met her. -Yeah. | 0:41:01 | 0:41:03 | |
From now, from what you're telling me now, all these times, | 0:41:05 | 0:41:09 | |
-I think I would have fit in with her. -Yeah. | 0:41:09 | 0:41:13 | |
May brought me a little photograph of her, | 0:41:14 | 0:41:16 | |
and I do look at her a lot. | 0:41:16 | 0:41:18 | |
She's not unlike me. | 0:41:19 | 0:41:21 | |
I'm not unlike her, you know. | 0:41:21 | 0:41:23 | |
Having shown Eric where their mother lived her life, | 0:41:27 | 0:41:30 | |
May and Brian are taking their brother | 0:41:30 | 0:41:33 | |
to see her final resting place. | 0:41:33 | 0:41:35 | |
I wanted to come here to show you | 0:41:35 | 0:41:37 | |
just where my mum came for her cremation. | 0:41:37 | 0:41:40 | |
Seeing where their mother was laid to rest | 0:41:42 | 0:41:43 | |
has made Eric, Brian and May | 0:41:43 | 0:41:45 | |
all wish they'd found each other sooner. | 0:41:45 | 0:41:48 | |
-The only thing is, it came a bit too late in life. -Yeah. | 0:41:48 | 0:41:52 | |
Yeah, it's come, you know... | 0:41:52 | 0:41:54 | |
If it had come before my mum died it, it'd have been real, wouldn't it? | 0:41:54 | 0:41:57 | |
-ALL: -Yeah. | 0:41:57 | 0:41:59 | |
But, for some reason, it couldn't happen. | 0:41:59 | 0:42:01 | |
-No, it couldn't. -You know. | 0:42:01 | 0:42:03 | |
Their mother was never given an official burial place, | 0:42:03 | 0:42:07 | |
so May, Brian and Eric | 0:42:07 | 0:42:08 | |
would like to arrange something to remember her by. | 0:42:08 | 0:42:11 | |
What are we gonna to do then? Are we gonna get a plaque, May? | 0:42:11 | 0:42:14 | |
-Yeah, definitely. We'll get a plaque. -Definitely. -Between us all. | 0:42:14 | 0:42:17 | |
And where we can put it... | 0:42:17 | 0:42:19 | |
-So that everyone can come and they can see... -Yeah. -Yeah. | 0:42:19 | 0:42:24 | |
..where it is. | 0:42:24 | 0:42:25 | |
Having spent most of their lives apart, | 0:42:25 | 0:42:28 | |
the new-found siblings are determined | 0:42:28 | 0:42:30 | |
to make the most of the time they have together now. | 0:42:30 | 0:42:34 | |
May's brought something to me | 0:42:34 | 0:42:36 | |
that I never would've had | 0:42:36 | 0:42:38 | |
and I'd have probably died | 0:42:38 | 0:42:40 | |
wondering who my mother was. | 0:42:40 | 0:42:42 | |
Well, it's been a revelation for me. | 0:42:44 | 0:42:46 | |
At last I've got some reference to my younger days, you know. | 0:42:46 | 0:42:52 | |
Today has been marvellous. | 0:42:54 | 0:42:57 | |
We've seen where me mum's lying at rest, | 0:42:57 | 0:43:01 | |
and I've come with both of my brothers | 0:43:01 | 0:43:04 | |
who have just found one another. | 0:43:04 | 0:43:07 | |
Both my mother's sons. | 0:43:09 | 0:43:11 | |
And it's been a brilliant day. | 0:43:11 | 0:43:14 |