Episode 4 Family Finders


Episode 4

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Families can be driven apart for all manner of reasons.

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My mum went away and didn't come back.

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And when you do lose touch with your loved ones...

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I never saw Kathleen again.

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..finding them can take a lifetime...

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I wonder where he is. I wonder what he's doing.

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You don't even know where to begin.

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..especially when they could be anywhere - at home or abroad.

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That's where the family finders come in.

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Hi, it's the Salvation Army Family Tracing Service.

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From international organisations...

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There's never been a day when we have never had new enquiries.

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..to genealogy detective agencies...

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When was it you last got in contact with him?

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..and dedicated one-man bands.

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I like to do searches that other people can't get,

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because it makes me feel good.

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They hunt through history to bring families back together again.

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You are my biological dad.

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In this series, we follow the work of the family finders...

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This case came from our Australian colleagues.

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..learning the tricks they use

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to track living relatives through time...

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I'm 68 years of age. She is 75 years of age. And we're just starting off.

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..and meeting the people whose lives they change along the way.

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I said, well, this is your younger sister.

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It's a miracle.

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I was struck speechless. And I couldn't stop crying.

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Proud moment. No doubt.

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I was set on finding a family.

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Our identity is what makes us unique.

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And knowing where we came from is an important part of knowing

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who we are.

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For many people, this knowledge is hard to come by

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and can mean a lifetime of searching for answers.

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But chance, timing and a bit of luck can play

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a big part in connecting a person with their past.

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That was the case for 81-year-old Eric Morgan.

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I was born in St Luke's Hospital in 1934.

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And, in those days, that used to be the workhouse, in the olden days.

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And, actually, I think the name for it was "the naughty girl's ward".

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After Eric was born, his mother went

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to work in the local textile industry with his father, George.

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Me mother and dad both worked.

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I mean, my mother worked really hard.

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She was always good to me, but I didn't see that much of her.

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When Eric Morgan arrived at the recruiting office in 1952,

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to sign up for his National Service,

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little did he know his life was about to be turned upside down.

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I went down to the recruiting office.

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And you had to take your birth certificate.

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And me mother gave me me birth certificate.

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I put it in me pocket and went to the recruiting office. I give them it.

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He took some details. Give me it back.

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I folded it up, put it in my pocket and I went back to see me mum.

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And I said, "Oh, here you are," and she started crying.

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And I said...

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I said, "What's the matter?"

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She said, "Have you read it?"

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I said, "No."

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She said, "Well, if you look, it's the adoption paper."

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And I said, "Well, it don't matter, that."

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I said, "You'll always be my mother, no matter what.

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"You'll always be my mother. So forget it."

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The news that he was adopted came as a massive shock for Eric,

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and he yearned to know more about his true origins.

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I wanted to know, to fill a vacant part in my life.

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But there was an even bigger bombshell to come.

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Took the adoption paper and went down to the registrar in Bradford.

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I said, "From this, can I have a birth certificate?"

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They said, "No problem." So he went round t'back, and he came back then,

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and said to me, he said, "Oh, I'm sorry, lad, I can't find anything."

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I said, "Why?" He said, "Well, there's nothing there about you."

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I said, "Well, how many boys were

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"born in St Luke's on the 17th of the sixth, 1934?"

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He said, "Four. But you weren't one of them."

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On top of everything else, Eric was now being told that,

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as far as the records were concerned, he didn't exist.

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With this monumental blow, he had no choice

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but to leave the past where it was and get on with his life.

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After completing National Service, he met his wife, Valerie,

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and they went on to have a family of their own.

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Eric Morgan never stopped wondering about his true identity

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but he'd have to wait a lifetime before the secret

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of his origins would become clear.

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60 years later, in the Yorkshire town of Halifax,

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another man was carrying out his own family search,

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a search that would hold the key to the mystery.

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I'd love to know who my real father was.

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Brian Frith was born in a little village

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near Bradford, to a single mother in 1935.

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She later married and Brian was brought up by her

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and his stepfather.

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I knew he were my stepdad.

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To be... In them days, he was my dad, but in name only.

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It was things what people used to say. Why is your name different?

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This, that and the other and called you a basket, all things like that.

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Them things come out then. It didn't...

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I wasn't worried about it because, like I say,

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I had other brothers and sisters and a mother.

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That was the main thing in them days. The mother was most important.

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Brian grew up with his half sister, May, and her brothers and sisters

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around the textile mills of Bradford where their parents both worked.

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I knew they weren't my full brothers and sisters,

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but as far as I was concerned, they was.

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It was a happy house, put it that way.

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We were no different to any other kids in that time, were we?

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No, no.

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Our mother was really hard-working and she loved all her kids.

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-She did.

-She did everything she could for us and it were happy.

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In an evening when she'd finished her work,

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she'd sit in an armchair near the fire

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and we'd all sit on the arms round my mum and joke and talk.

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Singing and that.

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Since retirement, May has been trying to help Brian

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find out the identity of his biological father.

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Brian never knew who his father was and he was always wanting to know.

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Every time I went to see him, he'd say,

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"Have you found my dad yet?"

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I'd like to know and then everything can be finalised

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and I can say, well, that was my dad.

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I might even change the family name.

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Brian's birth certificate stated no named father,

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so all May had to go on was Brian's surname, Frith.

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I thought, what about if I just put the surname and put Bradford

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and put what year I wanted. Would I find anything else?

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May's search failed to come up with any Friths who were

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the right age to be Brian's father,

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but she did find a younger man listed with the same name.

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I found E Frith, next to my brother who was B Frith.

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E stood for Eric, and this Eric Frith's mother

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had the same name as theirs, Elizabeth.

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Had May stumbled across a family secret?

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I haven't found another Elizabeth in Bradford at that age.

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It suddenly seemed that Brian and May's mum could have had

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another child, a half brother they never knew existed.

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I thought, could he really be our brother?

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I went to the Bradford register office and I told them

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Elizabeth Frith was my mum and they supplied me

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with the birth certificate for Eric.

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And there it was in black and white.

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We never knew that there was another brother at all.

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It came as a big shock because my mum was really quiet

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and you wouldn't think butter would melt in her mouth.

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The birth certificate stated that Eric had been adopted

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and May had a difficult decision to make.

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The Adoption Society told me to think about it

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because Eric was nearly 80 years old.

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Did he know he was adopted?

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Did he want anybody to find him and would it be a big shock to him?

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May nearly decided not to make contact with Eric,

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but speaking to her son made her think again.

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He said, "Do you want to find out if he's your brother?"

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I said, "Yes, I'd like to." And he says, "Well, go for it." So I did.

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She got in contact with the Adoption Agency

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to get the ball rolling and they revealed their new-found brother

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was now going by the name of Eric Morgan,

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the same Eric Morgan who, 60 years ago, had given up all

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hope of ever finding his birth mother.

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I got a letter from the Adoption Society and he said,

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"We've had a lady who's claiming to be your stepsister."

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I thought, "Oh, right."

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After a lifetime of waiting, 81-year-old Eric had finally

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found some birth relatives, or at least they had found him, but

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there were still a few more bumps to come on the road to reunion.

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I said to our May, "He's a con merchant."

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He could be any Tom, Dick or Harry, couldn't he?

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If you're adopted and thinking about tracing your birth

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relatives, or if you're looking to find a relative who you

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believe was adopted, here is some advice.

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Before you start, think carefully about your motivations and

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the impact making contact could have on you and everyone else involved.

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Be prepared for all possible outcomes.

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When you're ready, add your details to the Adoption Contact Register.

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Both adopted adults and birth relatives can register a wish

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to connect and if a link is made,

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the adopted adults will be sent the birth relative's contact details.

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Should you trace a relative,

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enlist the help of an intermediary agency.

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They'll act as a go-between and liaise between you

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and the relative you've traced and help you maintain a sense of

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privacy and control, until you both feel ready to be in direct contact.

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There are many professional agencies you can use to help you

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at different stages of the family finding process.

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One of them is FinderMonkey in Leeds.

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A lot of people that come to us

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tell us that they've been really frustrated, sometimes,

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for years on end, trying to find the person that they're looking for.

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What we're able to do is find an exact match

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because we have access to systems that are far more detailed than

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they can access themselves.

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30-year-old Stephen Hills was only a baby

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when his dad lived at home and he has no memories of him.

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I have always had questions in my mind. What does he look like?

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What does he do? Where does he live?

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Why it all broke down between him and my mum?

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Stephen grew up with his mum and stepdad in Balby, Doncaster.

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He was good to me.

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When I was growing up, I had a brother and a sister,

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both younger than me.

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His family was always open

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and honest with Stephen about his background.

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When I was about ten, my mum and stepdad sat me down

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in the back garden and told me that he

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wasn't my real dad and asked me how I felt about it and what not.

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If I'm honest, it was on my mind all the time

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but I sort of put it to the back of my mind and got on with things.

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As soon as I turned 16, 17, I joined the army and left.

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Stephen was hoping to join the Coldstream Guards,

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but, sadly, was unable to complete his training.

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I had an accident in the army which made me medically discharged,

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so, I moved out and started a family of my own.

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But now, having children of his own,

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made Stephen think again about finding his dad.

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Now my kids are sort of growing up, I know how I'd feel

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if I didn't know them, so that's why I wanted to get in touch with my dad.

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Because me and Stephen are now getting married

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and obviously he's got children, we've got a child together, I think

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he wants his dad to be there for the children growing up.

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He wants him to be there on his wedding day and things like that.

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It really means a lot to him, so...

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Stephen has attempted to trace his father over the past 15 years

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but without success.

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I asked my mum if she had any information, but she said

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if she walked past him in the street, she wouldn't know him.

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It's been 30 years now, it's been a long time.

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Undeterred, Stephen started his search

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and looked to his birth certificate for clues.

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On the birth certificate, I've got his full name, where he was born,

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what job he actually did.

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His occupation was a coalface worker,

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so he would've been a miner at the time.

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With me being born, they were actually on strike,

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so that might have been a big key to why him and my mum split up.

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When I've asked my mum about it,

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she's sort of gone a bit distant but I think they had a bad break-up.

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Filled with curiosity about his father,

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Stephen first tried to find him through social media sites.

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When I typed his name up on the social media site,

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quite a few names came up -

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70 different people with the same name.

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So I did think about messaging people but I didn't know what to write,

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if I'm honest.

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Frustrated, Stephen turned to the professionals.

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I got in touch with the company FinderMonkey.

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I didn't think they were going to get anywhere.

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Basically, I thought,

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"It's been 30 years, he's probably moved on with his life."

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Stephen had been looking for his dad for 15 years, that's the

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information that he gave us, but he'd been unable to locate a match.

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Stephen gave the researchers what information he had.

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His name, his age, where he was born. I gave them all that.

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From that information, we went away

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and looked for his marriage to Stephen's mum,

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which we found, in 1982, and then we also, from then,

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went back and looked for a birth record.

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And we found somebody that we believed was the right one,

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who was born in Kent in 1956.

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We'd then wanted to try and trace him to a current address

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so that we could contact him to find out

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and confirm it was the right person.

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If Stephen had have been trying to find an address for his dad

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by himself, with the tools that are available to the general public

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through online searches,

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it would have been very difficult for him to do.

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In just two weeks, the researchers were able to call Stephen

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with the information he'd been waiting all his life to hear.

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I saved their phone number in my phone, so I knew it was them

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when they were ringing, and I was a bit...

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Well, I got nervous, as soon as I picked the phone up, and then

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they said that they've found someone that they believe to be my dad.

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They told Stephen they'd write to the man they believed to be

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his father on his behalf, saying he would like to get in touch.

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"Dear Mr Woodcock, we are people that find lost families.

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"We are trying to contact a Mr Alan John Woodcock, born in Kent,

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"lived in Doncaster in the '80s."

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Rang the phone number on the letter and...

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..they told me that my son has been trying to contact me,

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and I went...

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I went silent on the phone,

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went...was struck dumb...

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in surprise, with surprise.

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And the... I don't...

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Eventually, the voice on the phone says,

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"Are you still there?"

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I said, "Yes."

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He said to me, "Have you took it in?"

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And I said, "Well, no, not really, but, yes."

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"And do you want us to tell him?"

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I says, "Well, yes, I do, and you can pass my details onto him."

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Alan was born into a mining family in Kent in the 1950s.

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I was born in 1956, in Dover.

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Went to a boarding school...

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And then the...

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When I left school at 15, I went down the pit.

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Alan was a miner at the Bentley Colliery in Doncaster,

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one of the largest mining areas in the country.

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He worked on the coalface.

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Pit bottom is lit - electric light and everything -

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but when you get away from pit bottom,

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and you get up to the coalface, it's blacker than black,

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darker than the darkest night.

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If you turned your lamp off,

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and went like that, you couldn't see your hand.

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On the coalface, it could be quite warm,

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and you'd work in... work in your underwear.

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Just your under... a pair of pants on,

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and your belt, with your battery and your rescuer,

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and your kneepads, and your boots and your helmet.

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Alan lived with Stephen's mother in the village next to the colliery.

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I met Stephen's mother...

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..about three or four years before the strike.

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And...

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..we were courting and got married.

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Bought my own... we'd bought our own house,

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and then the strike came,

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and it just fell apart from then onwards,

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cos the... basically because of the strike.

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-Breaking through the police lines...

-The 1984-85 miners' strike

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was a major conflict across the whole of

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the UK coal mining industry...

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You are nicked!

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..and signalled the end of coal mining in Britain -

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a state-subsidised and nationalised industry

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since the end of World War II.

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In 1984, the National Coal Board announced measures that would

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mean heavy job losses, and the closure of many pits.

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CROWD YELLS

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With tens of thousands of jobs at stake, the unions resisted,

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and in 1984, the leader of the National Union of Mineworkers,

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Arthur Scargill, called for a national strike.

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We shall now take those steps which are essential and necessary,

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to blockade all steel plants, power plants and other industry.

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It became one of the most bitter disputes in recent history.

0:20:540:20:57

Jobs! Jobs! Jobs! Jobs! Jobs!

0:20:570:21:00

As hardships increased, the strike split communities,

0:21:000:21:04

as some miners returned to work for the sake of their families.

0:21:040:21:08

Others refused to break the strike, and relied on support

0:21:090:21:12

through soup kitchens and fundraising benefits.

0:21:120:21:15

The strike ended on the 3rd of March 1985,

0:21:150:21:19

following a union vote to return to work.

0:21:190:21:22

It was seen as a major political victory for Margaret Thatcher.

0:21:220:21:26

There was a lot of lads' wives supported the strike,

0:21:280:21:33

and went on marches and picket duty,

0:21:330:21:38

or worked in...

0:21:380:21:40

in the kitchens, the soup kitchens.

0:21:400:21:43

The money obviously stopped coming in,

0:21:430:21:47

and we were living on, well, a shoestring,

0:21:470:21:54

and the times were hard and that was it.

0:21:540:22:00

Hard keeping the house warm in the winter,

0:22:000:22:03

and she just broke down.

0:22:030:22:06

We separated and that was it.

0:22:060:22:08

The last time I saw Stephen, he was a bit more than a babe in arms.

0:22:100:22:15

I think he was walking, but every time I went up,

0:22:150:22:19

there was an argument, and I didn't want to go up and argue.

0:22:190:22:25

I was going up to see Stephen.

0:22:250:22:27

So I just said, in the end,

0:22:270:22:30

"I'll stay away,"

0:22:300:22:33

and lost touch.

0:22:330:22:36

30 years later, and Alan now had Stephen's phone number,

0:22:380:22:43

but making contact was never going to be easy,

0:22:430:22:46

and meeting face-to-face even harder.

0:22:460:22:49

What will happen when this father meets the son he's never known?

0:22:510:22:55

As a young man, Eric Morgan discovered he was adopted but was

0:23:060:23:10

told that as far as the records were concerned, he didn't actually exist.

0:23:100:23:14

His identity remained a mystery until 60 years later

0:23:160:23:19

when May and Brian Frith tracked him down.

0:23:190:23:22

It appeared from May's research

0:23:220:23:24

that all three of them shared the same mother.

0:23:240:23:26

It said, "We've found out that in this area,

0:23:280:23:33

"there was a boy adopted called Eric Frith,

0:23:330:23:39

"which we now think turned into Eric Morgan."

0:23:390:23:44

With the help of the Adoption Society that May was

0:23:460:23:48

using as an intermediary, it emerged that Eric had been born

0:23:480:23:52

Eric Frith, and only been given the new surname Morgan at a later date.

0:23:520:23:57

This finally explained why Eric had been told he didn't exist.

0:23:570:24:02

He'd been searching under the wrong name all those years ago.

0:24:020:24:06

The Adoption Society made clear to Eric

0:24:060:24:09

that the ball was now in his court.

0:24:090:24:11

They said, "You don't have to see this lady.

0:24:110:24:16

"If you say forget it, we'll forget it now."

0:24:160:24:20

After all this time, did he want to revisit his past?

0:24:220:24:26

They said, "Would you mind if I gave May your address?"

0:24:270:24:32

I said, "Well, yeah, go on, then."

0:24:330:24:37

With nothing to lose and everything to gain,

0:24:370:24:40

Eric waited for May to write him a letter.

0:24:400:24:42

When I wrote the letter, I just said,

0:24:420:24:44

"Hello, Eric, I think you might be my brother, half-brother.

0:24:440:24:51

"Erm, your mother has the same name as my mother,

0:24:510:24:56

"and would you be interested in meeting?"

0:24:560:25:00

She said, "Eric, you don't have to answer this, if you don't want."

0:25:000:25:05

"But if you do, ring this number."

0:25:050:25:08

So I rang the number and it was May.

0:25:080:25:11

I said, "How have you done all this?"

0:25:120:25:14

And she said, "I've done it on t'computer."

0:25:140:25:16

It turned out the family were practically neighbours.

0:25:160:25:20

When we found Eric,

0:25:200:25:22

he lived five minutes away from my sister Margaret.

0:25:220:25:25

They probably walked past one another on the street.

0:25:260:25:29

She said, "Do you think we could meet up?"

0:25:290:25:32

And I said, "Yeah, we can do."

0:25:320:25:34

For May, there was an instant connection.

0:25:340:25:37

It wasn't as if we were meeting strangers.

0:25:380:25:41

We just walked in and says "Hello"

0:25:410:25:43

and talked about different things from the past.

0:25:430:25:47

But when Brian met Eric he was suspicious.

0:25:470:25:51

Was this man REALLY related to them?

0:25:510:25:54

I said to our May, "He's a con merchant."

0:25:550:25:57

Because he evaded saying when I asked him things.

0:25:590:26:02

So, I thought, well...

0:26:020:26:04

is he really

0:26:040:26:06

my brother?

0:26:060:26:08

Even now, Brian remained unconvinced.

0:26:080:26:12

At the moment, he could be any Tom, Dick or Harry, couldn't he?

0:26:120:26:16

May suggested they do a DNA test to find out once and for all

0:26:170:26:22

if Eric really was their half-brother.

0:26:220:26:24

The three of them sent their swab samples to a testing company,

0:26:260:26:30

who carried out a test much like one DNA scientist Chris Jones

0:26:300:26:34

is carrying out here.

0:26:340:26:35

The tests themselves have pretty big implications

0:26:350:26:38

when you're doing any kind of relationship testing,

0:26:380:26:41

or paternity testing.

0:26:410:26:42

DNA is a very small thing. It doesn't look much in the lab

0:26:420:26:45

but it can have a really big impact out in the real world of people.

0:26:450:26:48

A complex extraction process

0:26:480:26:50

isolates each person's DNA

0:26:500:26:52

so that it can be effectively compared.

0:26:520:26:54

I'm going to start the sequencer now.

0:26:540:26:56

It will analyse all the DNA,

0:26:560:26:58

so using the software downstairs

0:26:580:27:00

we'll be able to get a visual representation of the DNA

0:27:000:27:03

for use in the analysis.

0:27:030:27:05

The results usually take around two days to come through.

0:27:050:27:08

Will science rewrite history for Brian, May and Eric?

0:27:080:27:13

Tomorrow Alan and Stephen are going

0:27:200:27:23

to meet face-to-face for the first time in 30 years.

0:27:230:27:26

And not only that,

0:27:280:27:29

Alan will also meet his granddaughter, Lily Grace,

0:27:290:27:33

and Stephen's fiancee, Steph.

0:27:330:27:35

I think he's really nervous to meet him,

0:27:350:27:37

but at the same time he's really excited.

0:27:370:27:39

Obviously, he wants to meet his dad, he wants to see what he's like,

0:27:390:27:43

if they like each other...

0:27:430:27:44

Because I've said he does look like him, so, yeah.

0:27:440:27:47

I am a bit nervous...

0:27:490:27:50

but I don't know what to expect.

0:27:500:27:53

I think he will just... go with the flow.

0:27:530:27:56

I'm more nervous, I would say.

0:27:560:28:00

What I want to do today is take them out for a meal...

0:28:020:28:06

..and get to know...all of them.

0:28:090:28:11

And then, hopefully, later on,

0:28:140:28:16

me and Stephen can go out and have a pint.

0:28:160:28:20

As Alan makes the 100-mile journey from his home in Stoke,

0:28:250:28:30

Stephen drives to the arranged meeting place

0:28:300:28:32

close to his home in Pontefract.

0:28:320:28:35

I didn't get a good night's sleep. A bit of...

0:28:350:28:37

Kept waking up.

0:28:370:28:39

I think it's to do with nerves for today.

0:28:390:28:41

So...

0:28:410:28:43

It's been 30 years since I've seen him.

0:28:450:28:48

I'm very anx...apprehensious.

0:28:490:28:51

Can't even pronounce it!

0:28:510:28:53

I don't know what I'll have to drink. What you having?

0:28:570:29:00

-Can I have one?

-Mm-hm.

0:29:000:29:01

Stephen is the first to arrive, but steps outside

0:29:070:29:11

in nervous anticipation of his father's arrival.

0:29:110:29:14

Hiya. You all right?

0:29:300:29:31

I am now.

0:29:310:29:32

-Are you?

-Aye.

-Come on then.

0:29:320:29:34

Stepping into the role of dad after 30 years

0:29:360:29:39

isn't necessarily going to be easy for Alan.

0:29:390:29:42

I can see you properly, now.

0:29:430:29:44

-Hiya. You all right?

-I am now.

0:29:440:29:47

Good, good.

0:29:470:29:48

It all starts off well, with Alan having made the effort

0:29:480:29:52

to get a present for his young granddaughter.

0:29:520:29:54

Who's that?

0:29:540:29:55

-Peppa Pig!

-Peppa Pig, yeah!

0:29:550:29:57

-What do you say?

-Thank you.

0:29:570:30:00

But despite a good start,

0:30:000:30:02

the emotions seem to get the better of him.

0:30:020:30:05

Having gathered his thoughts,

0:30:090:30:11

Alan returns and settles happily

0:30:110:30:13

into the role of father and grandfather.

0:30:130:30:16

Are you watching?

0:30:160:30:18

Watch again. Are you watching?

0:30:180:30:20

-Blow.

-SHE BLOWS

0:30:200:30:23

I ain't got it.

0:30:230:30:25

Here. Put it in your pocket.

0:30:280:30:30

-What do you say?

-Thank you.

0:30:300:30:32

-How's it going?

-Spot on.

-Good.

0:30:320:30:34

I brought some photos and that.

0:30:340:30:38

There's a lot of ground to be covered after 30 years apart

0:30:380:30:41

so to get things started,

0:30:410:30:43

Stephen's brought along some photos of him as a boy.

0:30:430:30:46

-That you?

-It doesn't look like him, I say.

-It doesn't.

0:30:470:30:51

And Alan's also brought photos, including one of him as a child.

0:30:510:30:55

Me and my sister Maureen.

0:30:550:30:57

So when was this?

0:30:570:31:00

I was about 10.

0:31:000:31:01

And that's your grandad.

0:31:010:31:04

He died...

0:31:040:31:05

He's been dead...

0:31:050:31:08

eight years this coming February.

0:31:080:31:11

Then it's time for a photo for the new family album.

0:31:110:31:14

-Are you going to cheese? ALL:

-Cheese.

0:31:140:31:16

-Who's that?

-Erm...

0:31:210:31:22

-STEPH WHISPERS:

-Grandad Alan.

0:31:220:31:25

-Ga...

-Grandad Alan.

0:31:250:31:27

Grandad Alan!

0:31:270:31:28

Off to a good, if tentative, start.

0:31:300:31:33

Alan is keen for Stephen to know more about his life.

0:31:330:31:36

The last time Alan saw Stephen, 30 years ago,

0:31:380:31:42

he was still working as a miner.

0:31:420:31:44

And today he wants to show him the site of the coalmine

0:31:460:31:50

where he used to work.

0:31:500:31:51

When was the last time you was here?

0:31:510:31:53

'87, I think it was. '88.

0:31:560:31:58

By 1985 the strikers were defeated,

0:32:000:32:03

and by the '90s, most pits in the country had closed.

0:32:030:32:07

Bentley colliery was demolished in 1984

0:32:080:32:11

and is now woodland.

0:32:110:32:13

Parts of the old rock-cutting works now mark the site

0:32:170:32:20

where the mine once stood.

0:32:200:32:22

This is a cutting head.

0:32:230:32:25

A disc.

0:32:260:32:27

I haven't seen one of them for years.

0:32:310:32:34

Something I never expected to see again.

0:32:350:32:37

The old mining equipment, so familiar to Alan,

0:32:390:32:42

is totally alien to Stephen.

0:32:420:32:45

They didn't actually cut coal, them.

0:32:450:32:47

They cut rock.

0:32:470:32:48

Right.

0:32:480:32:50

They make the roadways.

0:32:500:32:52

The whole hill is a product of the coal waste

0:32:540:32:56

from the colliery's past.

0:32:560:32:58

Well, it was a slag heap.

0:32:580:33:01

Piles of slack.

0:33:020:33:04

Coal dust.

0:33:040:33:06

What couldn't be used.

0:33:060:33:08

I lived...

0:33:100:33:11

Well, me and your mum lived in Adwick-le-Street, didn't we?

0:33:110:33:15

Over there.

0:33:150:33:16

Has she spoke about it?

0:33:160:33:17

No.

0:33:170:33:18

That's where we bought our house, Adwick-le-Street

0:33:210:33:24

which was...

0:33:240:33:26

The pit was here, Bentley was there,

0:33:260:33:29

Adwick-le-Street was here.

0:33:290:33:31

-In the middle.

-Yeah, the pit was in the middle.

0:33:310:33:33

But it's altered a hell of a lot.

0:33:350:33:36

What was it like around here, then?

0:33:400:33:42

Erm, well...

0:33:440:33:45

They employed lots of men

0:33:480:33:50

working underground,

0:33:500:33:52

digging coal out, basically.

0:33:520:33:54

In fact, the workings will still be there.

0:33:540:33:57

Underneath our feet.

0:33:570:33:59

Mm-hm.

0:33:590:34:00

Before the strike it was a completely different place.

0:34:000:34:04

And then the strike...

0:34:060:34:09

And, erm...

0:34:090:34:10

..the men didn't have so much say

0:34:120:34:16

in the matter,

0:34:160:34:18

how the job was done.

0:34:180:34:19

It was, "We're the managers, and you will do as we say."

0:34:210:34:24

That's what killed it.

0:34:260:34:28

They wanted the average working man

0:34:280:34:32

under the thumb.

0:34:320:34:33

And the miners,

0:34:330:34:35

we weren't going to stand for it.

0:34:350:34:37

So, that's what basically killed it.

0:34:390:34:42

Not a question of closing it, it ruined people's lives, didn't it?

0:34:420:34:45

And they had no work.

0:34:470:34:50

Areas died off.

0:34:500:34:51

The nerves and the tension leading up to their meeting

0:34:530:34:55

have now subsided.

0:34:550:34:57

It's a lot more calmer, less nervous now.

0:34:570:35:00

I want to get to know you better.

0:35:030:35:05

If that all goes well, I'd like you to probably come to my wedding

0:35:070:35:10

and be a part of that day.

0:35:100:35:13

Well, as I said about coming down here,

0:35:140:35:16

wild horses wouldn't keep me away.

0:35:160:35:19

Right.

0:35:190:35:20

I'm very proud.

0:35:200:35:22

You achieved something I never did,

0:35:220:35:24

which I wanted to do, but I never did - is get into the army.

0:35:240:35:28

I think I've had a good life.

0:35:290:35:32

-But it's going to get better now I've got you.

-Yeah.

0:35:320:35:34

-Same.

-Good.

0:35:340:35:36

Shown him a bit about my life,

0:35:410:35:42

and he's told me

0:35:420:35:45

what I've missed out on.

0:35:450:35:48

And I've been invited to the wedding

0:35:480:35:50

and we are going to go and have a few beers.

0:35:500:35:52

Today's gone well,

0:35:530:35:55

and obviously today is the first step of many.

0:35:550:35:58

He seems proud of me, so...

0:36:000:36:03

See how the future comes.

0:36:040:36:06

In Warrington, the DNA results are in.

0:36:140:36:17

Do Brian, May and Eric share the same mother?

0:36:170:36:21

The result of the analysis shows,

0:36:210:36:24

with a probability of 99.9067%

0:36:240:36:27

that Eric is the half-sibling of May Gray,

0:36:270:36:30

sharing the same biological mother.

0:36:300:36:33

So Eric and May are definitely related.

0:36:330:36:36

But there was more.

0:36:360:36:38

Brian's hunch had been right - Eric isn't his half-brother, at all.

0:36:380:36:43

Eric is the full sibling of Brian Frith,

0:36:430:36:45

sharing both the biological mother and a biological father.

0:36:450:36:50

Instead, remarkably, it turned out Brian and Eric

0:36:500:36:54

are actually full brothers.

0:36:540:36:56

When we got the results, we were all over the moon.

0:36:560:36:59

It came through that he was full brother.

0:36:590:37:04

And I would've give you 1,000-to-1, that I wasn't their step-brother...

0:37:040:37:10

but when I found out I were Brian's proper brother...

0:37:100:37:13

-That were a shock, wasn't it?

-That were a real shock.

-Yeah, yeah.

0:37:130:37:17

As you're getting older,

0:37:170:37:18

something like that that comes out of the blue...

0:37:180:37:22

-Yeah, yeah.

-It's so good, isn't it?

-Yeah.

0:37:220:37:24

And now the three siblings are wasting no time,

0:37:260:37:28

making up for the years they've missed out on.

0:37:280:37:31

Hiya, love! How you going on?

0:37:310:37:33

Fine, thank you. How are you?

0:37:330:37:34

I'm very well. And how are you, Brian?

0:37:340:37:37

-Are you all right, our kid?

-I am, lad, aye. Up!

0:37:370:37:40

-Can you manage?

-Glad to see you.

0:37:400:37:42

But there's one mystery that remains unsolved.

0:37:440:37:47

Brian's always wondered who his father was.

0:37:470:37:50

-If you're brothers...

-Yeah.

0:37:500:37:52

So if he were my father, he's got to be yours.

0:37:520:37:54

As full brothers,

0:37:540:37:56

Brian and Eric have the same dad,

0:37:560:37:59

but as neither of them have details

0:37:590:38:00

of a father listed on their birth certificates,

0:38:000:38:02

neither can be sure who that man was.

0:38:020:38:06

What they do know is all three of them -

0:38:060:38:08

Brian, Eric and May - share the same mother.

0:38:080:38:12

-You'd have loved mother.

-Yeah.

-You would.

-Yeah, yeah.

0:38:120:38:15

-It's like putting your last piece of jigsaw in.

-Yeah.

0:38:150:38:18

And it's...

0:38:180:38:21

But, in the other hand, it's made me a bit sorrowful,

0:38:210:38:25

because I think I've missed out on a family.

0:38:270:38:31

Well, we've missed out on having...

0:38:310:38:33

I have, in one sense, having another brother.

0:38:330:38:36

And you can't blame your brothers and sisters...

0:38:360:38:40

-No.

-No.

-No.

-..for what's happened.

0:38:400:38:42

And you can't blame anybody, right?

0:38:420:38:44

-It's just circumstances.

-That's right.

0:38:440:38:46

In those days, women went through

0:38:460:38:49

what they shouldn't have gone through.

0:38:490:38:52

They'd no choice.

0:38:520:38:54

They had to work, they had to bring the kids up.

0:38:540:38:56

May and Brian have come up with a way

0:38:580:39:00

to try and share their memories of their mother with Eric.

0:39:000:39:03

They are taking him to visit their childhood home.

0:39:030:39:06

So, what do your family think about it, then?

0:39:070:39:10

-Oh, they're chuffed.

-Good.

0:39:100:39:12

They all said to us, "Well, do we change us name now to Frith?

0:39:140:39:19

Mind, it's a big drop, May.

0:39:210:39:22

And you've got your Cuban heels on.

0:39:220:39:25

Well, that makes it higher for me, don't it?

0:39:250:39:28

Eric is just metres away from where his mother spent her adult life.

0:39:280:39:32

Just across there...was our house.

0:39:330:39:35

Number one.

0:39:350:39:37

That's where we'd have lived.

0:39:370:39:39

Just about there where that lamppost is.

0:39:390:39:41

Yeah. Them's all new houses now.

0:39:410:39:44

But in our day, we'd a gas lamp there.

0:39:440:39:46

And I used to get out the bedroom window

0:39:460:39:50

and come down the gas lamp, sneak out.

0:39:500:39:53

LAUGHS: You were a little devil, Brian, weren't you?

0:39:530:39:55

That makes two of you, don't it? From what I've heard!

0:39:550:39:58

Yeah, HE were a little devil!

0:39:580:40:01

-This street probably would've been full of kids.

-It was. Yeah. It was.

0:40:010:40:04

Playing hopscotch, skipping...

0:40:040:40:07

-And there'd be no cars.

-No.

-Oh, no!

0:40:070:40:09

Bonfire Night, the greengrocer's here...

0:40:090:40:12

We all had a bit bonfire at the bottom of the street

0:40:120:40:15

and the greengrocer's here used to put potatoes on't fire for us.

0:40:150:40:19

We had it here, once.

0:40:190:40:21

The differences between Eric's childhood

0:40:230:40:25

and that of his new-found siblings are starting to sink in.

0:40:250:40:29

With me being an only child,

0:40:300:40:32

I think, "What did I miss?"

0:40:320:40:36

when there was all that family.

0:40:360:40:38

And they tell me what they used to do as kids.

0:40:380:40:41

I missed all that.

0:40:410:40:43

I would never forget my stepmum.

0:40:430:40:46

But Eric longs for a stronger connection with birth mother

0:40:470:40:50

Elizabeth.

0:40:500:40:51

The only thing that annoys me is, why can't I love her?

0:40:510:40:55

Because you never knew her.

0:40:550:40:57

That's it. That's it exactly, isn't it?

0:40:570:40:59

I never knew her.

0:40:590:41:01

-But I know you would've done, if you'd had met her.

-Yeah.

0:41:010:41:03

From now, from what you're telling me now, all these times,

0:41:050:41:09

-I think I would have fit in with her.

-Yeah.

0:41:090:41:13

May brought me a little photograph of her,

0:41:140:41:16

and I do look at her a lot.

0:41:160:41:18

She's not unlike me.

0:41:190:41:21

I'm not unlike her, you know.

0:41:210:41:23

Having shown Eric where their mother lived her life,

0:41:270:41:30

May and Brian are taking their brother

0:41:300:41:33

to see her final resting place.

0:41:330:41:35

I wanted to come here to show you

0:41:350:41:37

just where my mum came for her cremation.

0:41:370:41:40

Seeing where their mother was laid to rest

0:41:420:41:43

has made Eric, Brian and May

0:41:430:41:45

all wish they'd found each other sooner.

0:41:450:41:48

-The only thing is, it came a bit too late in life.

-Yeah.

0:41:480:41:52

Yeah, it's come, you know...

0:41:520:41:54

If it had come before my mum died it, it'd have been real, wouldn't it?

0:41:540:41:57

-ALL:

-Yeah.

0:41:570:41:59

But, for some reason, it couldn't happen.

0:41:590:42:01

-No, it couldn't.

-You know.

0:42:010:42:03

Their mother was never given an official burial place,

0:42:030:42:07

so May, Brian and Eric

0:42:070:42:08

would like to arrange something to remember her by.

0:42:080:42:11

What are we gonna to do then? Are we gonna get a plaque, May?

0:42:110:42:14

-Yeah, definitely. We'll get a plaque.

-Definitely.

-Between us all.

0:42:140:42:17

And where we can put it...

0:42:170:42:19

-So that everyone can come and they can see...

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

0:42:190:42:24

..where it is.

0:42:240:42:25

Having spent most of their lives apart,

0:42:250:42:28

the new-found siblings are determined

0:42:280:42:30

to make the most of the time they have together now.

0:42:300:42:34

May's brought something to me

0:42:340:42:36

that I never would've had

0:42:360:42:38

and I'd have probably died

0:42:380:42:40

wondering who my mother was.

0:42:400:42:42

Well, it's been a revelation for me.

0:42:440:42:46

At last I've got some reference to my younger days, you know.

0:42:460:42:52

Today has been marvellous.

0:42:540:42:57

We've seen where me mum's lying at rest,

0:42:570:43:01

and I've come with both of my brothers

0:43:010:43:04

who have just found one another.

0:43:040:43:07

Both my mother's sons.

0:43:090:43:11

And it's been a brilliant day.

0:43:110:43:14

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