Browse content similar to Episode 8. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
Line | From | To | |
---|---|---|---|
Families can be driven apart for all manner of reasons. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:05 | |
My mum went away and didn't come back. | 0:00:05 | 0:00:08 | |
And when you do lose touch with your loved ones... | 0:00:08 | 0:00:10 | |
I never saw Kathleen again. | 0:00:10 | 0:00:13 | |
..finding them can take a lifetime... | 0:00:13 | 0:00:15 | |
I wonder where he is. I wonder what he's doing. | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
You don't really know where to begin. | 0:00:17 | 0:00:19 | |
..especially when they could be anywhere, at home or abroad. | 0:00:19 | 0:00:23 | |
And that's where the family finders come in. | 0:00:25 | 0:00:28 | |
Hi, it's the Salvation Army Family Tracing Service. | 0:00:28 | 0:00:31 | |
From international organisations... | 0:00:31 | 0:00:34 | |
There's never been a day when we have never had new enquiries. | 0:00:34 | 0:00:37 | |
..to genealogy detective agencies... | 0:00:37 | 0:00:40 | |
When is it you last had contact with him? | 0:00:40 | 0:00:42 | |
..and dedicated one-man bands. | 0:00:42 | 0:00:45 | |
I like to do the searches half the people can't get | 0:00:45 | 0:00:47 | |
because it makes me feel good. | 0:00:47 | 0:00:49 | |
They hunt through history to bring families back together again. | 0:00:49 | 0:00:54 | |
You are my biological dad. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:56 | |
In this series, we follow the work of the family finders... | 0:00:56 | 0:00:59 | |
This case came from our Australian colleagues. | 0:00:59 | 0:01:02 | |
..learning the tricks they use to track | 0:01:02 | 0:01:04 | |
missing relatives through time. | 0:01:04 | 0:01:06 | |
I'm 68 years of age, she is 75 years of age, | 0:01:06 | 0:01:08 | |
and we're just starting off. | 0:01:08 | 0:01:10 | |
And meeting the people whose lives they change along the way. | 0:01:10 | 0:01:14 | |
I said, "Well, this is your younger sister." | 0:01:14 | 0:01:17 | |
It's a miracle. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:18 | |
I was struck speechless and I couldn't stop crying. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:21 | |
It's a proud moment for Dad. | 0:01:21 | 0:01:23 | |
It was the start of finding my family. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:26 | |
Family break-ups can occur all too easily | 0:01:34 | 0:01:37 | |
for any number of reasons and, once it's happened, | 0:01:37 | 0:01:41 | |
putting the pieces back together can feel like an insurmountable task. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:46 | |
But these days, tracking down | 0:01:46 | 0:01:48 | |
a lost family member is easier than ever, | 0:01:48 | 0:01:51 | |
thanks to the ever-increasing number of family finding companies | 0:01:51 | 0:01:54 | |
who go that extra mile to make, what seems impossible possible. | 0:01:54 | 0:01:58 | |
You can be dealing with people in emotional situations, | 0:01:58 | 0:02:02 | |
especially if you're finding living family members. | 0:02:02 | 0:02:04 | |
But it's really about gathering evidence and investigation, | 0:02:04 | 0:02:08 | |
and putting evidence together and assessing it. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:10 | |
These committed detectives work hard to reunite people, | 0:02:10 | 0:02:14 | |
often with the odds stacked against them. | 0:02:14 | 0:02:17 | |
You don't often think of the impact that what you're doing will | 0:02:17 | 0:02:21 | |
have such an effect on somebody, until you get that phone call | 0:02:21 | 0:02:25 | |
and you can hear it in their voice that they're | 0:02:25 | 0:02:27 | |
so excited to be in contact with that person. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:30 | |
Fraser Kinnie runs a family finding agency in Hartlepool | 0:02:30 | 0:02:34 | |
with the help of his wife Tracey. | 0:02:34 | 0:02:37 | |
Quite often, when people are doing searches, they kind of... | 0:02:39 | 0:02:43 | |
They think they want to do the search, | 0:02:43 | 0:02:45 | |
but they haven't got the resources or the ability to conduct the search. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:50 | |
Fraser uses his expertise to run an online service that helps | 0:02:50 | 0:02:54 | |
put together missing pieces of family puzzles | 0:02:54 | 0:02:56 | |
others have struggled to solve. | 0:02:56 | 0:02:59 | |
I like to do the searches other people can't get | 0:02:59 | 0:03:02 | |
because it makes me feel good. | 0:03:02 | 0:03:04 | |
One of their toughest cases was helping Sandy Smith, | 0:03:05 | 0:03:08 | |
who lives in North Walsham, in Norfolk. | 0:03:08 | 0:03:11 | |
With the name Smith, it was going to be hard for a lot of people | 0:03:11 | 0:03:14 | |
and I think, really... I knew it was going to be hard search, | 0:03:14 | 0:03:17 | |
but I knew that if anybody could do it we could do it. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:20 | |
I was born in 1970. | 0:03:24 | 0:03:26 | |
My mum was called Jessie. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:28 | |
I lived in a place called Billingham, a nice little town. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:32 | |
It was a three-bedroom house, it was lovely. | 0:03:32 | 0:03:35 | |
The neighbours were all nice and we had, like, | 0:03:35 | 0:03:37 | |
a bit of grass out the front where we could play | 0:03:37 | 0:03:39 | |
when we were little kids. | 0:03:39 | 0:03:41 | |
It was lovely. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:43 | |
Yeah, I've been... I'd say brought up well. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:46 | |
When she was ten years old, | 0:03:46 | 0:03:48 | |
Sandy came across a piece of paper with her name on it. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:52 | |
I was wanting some colouring paper and my mum said, "Go in the cupboard." | 0:03:52 | 0:03:56 | |
And I found some paperwork. | 0:03:56 | 0:03:59 | |
I had a look because I knew it said Sandra Smith. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:02 | |
So I was like, "Oh, hang on, what's this?" | 0:04:02 | 0:04:04 | |
So I asked my mum, I said, "Who is Sandra Smith?" | 0:04:04 | 0:04:06 | |
And she said, "Oh, well, I wondered | 0:04:08 | 0:04:11 | |
"when the time was to tell you. | 0:04:11 | 0:04:12 | |
"So, you've got another mother, | 0:04:12 | 0:04:14 | |
"who had to give you up because she couldn't look after you | 0:04:14 | 0:04:17 | |
"at the time because there were too many in the family. | 0:04:17 | 0:04:20 | |
"We got you when you were six weeks old | 0:04:20 | 0:04:24 | |
"and I've brought you up." | 0:04:24 | 0:04:25 | |
Because, obviously, they couldn't have kids themselves, | 0:04:25 | 0:04:28 | |
so they adopted me. | 0:04:28 | 0:04:30 | |
The news that she was adopted came as a huge shock. | 0:04:30 | 0:04:34 | |
But who exactly was her birth mother? | 0:04:34 | 0:04:37 | |
My mum told me she was called Janet. | 0:04:37 | 0:04:39 | |
She was 18 when she had me | 0:04:39 | 0:04:41 | |
and she was still living with her parents, | 0:04:41 | 0:04:43 | |
so she couldn't look after | 0:04:43 | 0:04:45 | |
me because there was still a baby in the family already. | 0:04:45 | 0:04:48 | |
She was from a family of 13 and I thought, "Whoa." | 0:04:48 | 0:04:51 | |
It was quite shocking how big the family was. | 0:04:51 | 0:04:54 | |
So, in a way, I understood why she got me adopted. | 0:04:54 | 0:04:59 | |
When my mum was pregnant, her mum was at the same time, | 0:04:59 | 0:05:02 | |
so that's why it was hard for her. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:05 | |
Sandy had some basic information about her birth mother, | 0:05:08 | 0:05:11 | |
but it raised as many questions as answers. | 0:05:11 | 0:05:14 | |
I always wondered, "Well, do I look like my mum? | 0:05:14 | 0:05:17 | |
"Do I talk like my mum? | 0:05:17 | 0:05:18 | |
"Do I do the same things? | 0:05:18 | 0:05:21 | |
"How do I find her? How do I meet her?" | 0:05:21 | 0:05:23 | |
Because, obviously, I've got a mum that brought me up and I'm thinking, | 0:05:23 | 0:05:27 | |
"Well, will I hurt her? I don't want to hurt her." | 0:05:27 | 0:05:29 | |
But, yeah, it would have been nice to meet, | 0:05:29 | 0:05:32 | |
but my adopted mum wouldn't give too much information to me. | 0:05:32 | 0:05:37 | |
I suppose I understood in a way | 0:05:37 | 0:05:39 | |
because, obviously, she's brought me up and she's given me a good life | 0:05:39 | 0:05:42 | |
of happiness and love and everything. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:45 | |
Yeah, it was quite hard for her, I suppose. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:47 | |
Out of loyalty, Sandy didn't search for her birth mother. | 0:05:47 | 0:05:51 | |
She met her husband Andy and started her own family. | 0:05:51 | 0:05:55 | |
But just before her first child was born, | 0:05:55 | 0:05:58 | |
her adoptive mum, Jessie, died. | 0:05:58 | 0:06:00 | |
When the grieving passed, Sandy felt able to look for her birth mother. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:08 | |
I always said to myself I wouldn't look for my birth mum | 0:06:09 | 0:06:12 | |
until this sadness happens. | 0:06:12 | 0:06:15 | |
Sandy went to see social services, | 0:06:16 | 0:06:19 | |
who not only had her adoption papers, | 0:06:19 | 0:06:22 | |
but also a box full of precious mementos, | 0:06:22 | 0:06:25 | |
saved meticulously by her mother. | 0:06:25 | 0:06:27 | |
That was your mum's signature there, look. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:31 | |
This is amazing because I'm surprised they've kept it this long. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:34 | |
That was what they tie around the crib, when you're born, | 0:06:34 | 0:06:37 | |
and it's got the weight of... | 0:06:37 | 0:06:39 | |
It says baby. It's in pink. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:40 | |
The name was Smith. The weight was 4-14 | 0:06:40 | 0:06:44 | |
and the time of birth was five past three. | 0:06:44 | 0:06:47 | |
Five past three. | 0:06:47 | 0:06:49 | |
I remember on the day you were quite tearful, weren't you? | 0:06:49 | 0:06:52 | |
Because it was quite a shock. | 0:06:52 | 0:06:54 | |
I was shocked to see that. | 0:06:54 | 0:06:56 | |
-Do you remember? -Mh-mm. | 0:06:56 | 0:06:57 | |
-You're getting all emotional now, aren't you? -Yeah? -Yeah. | 0:06:57 | 0:07:00 | |
Well, that's what I mean, that's what happened. | 0:07:00 | 0:07:02 | |
Then you get the milk tokens. | 0:07:02 | 0:07:04 | |
I mean, that's weird, milk tokens. | 0:07:04 | 0:07:07 | |
Yeah, because you were give tokens so you could buy milk. | 0:07:07 | 0:07:11 | |
But, like you say... | 0:07:11 | 0:07:13 | |
I'll keep that forever because | 0:07:13 | 0:07:15 | |
it's a hard thing to see, isn't it? | 0:07:15 | 0:07:17 | |
-Don't get upset. Are you all right? -Fine. | 0:07:17 | 0:07:20 | |
For Sandy, the box of treasured memories revealed | 0:07:23 | 0:07:26 | |
that even though their relationship lasted just four precious weeks, | 0:07:26 | 0:07:30 | |
it was full of nurturing and love. | 0:07:30 | 0:07:33 | |
One of the things that you said to me | 0:07:33 | 0:07:36 | |
was, you said, "I don't know whether | 0:07:36 | 0:07:37 | |
"my mum, did she care for me? Did she not care for me? Was she...?" | 0:07:37 | 0:07:40 | |
You can tell immediately, when you see all the things, that she probably | 0:07:40 | 0:07:43 | |
-didn't really want you to be adopted. -Yes. | 0:07:43 | 0:07:46 | |
She looked after me in hospital for four weeks until I got to the right | 0:07:46 | 0:07:49 | |
weight and before I was allowed to leave, | 0:07:49 | 0:07:51 | |
so that must have been hard for her. | 0:07:51 | 0:07:53 | |
She's looked after me, fed me, whatever. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:55 | |
Then, obviously, had to give me up, | 0:07:55 | 0:07:57 | |
so that must have been heartbreaking really. | 0:07:57 | 0:07:59 | |
You felt better though, didn't you? | 0:07:59 | 0:08:01 | |
-Because you knew that she cared for you, then. -Yeah. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:04 | |
I remember that was quite a hard time, wasn't it? | 0:08:04 | 0:08:06 | |
It was just a hard time, 1970, with a big family as well. | 0:08:06 | 0:08:10 | |
So, obviously she had to do what she had to do, best for me. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:15 | |
Alongside the precious record of their time together was vital | 0:08:15 | 0:08:19 | |
new information about Sandy's mum. | 0:08:19 | 0:08:23 | |
So we went to the records office and we got the birth certificate, | 0:08:23 | 0:08:27 | |
didn't we? 19... So this was '97, wasn't it? | 0:08:27 | 0:08:29 | |
Yeah, we got the birth certificate. | 0:08:29 | 0:08:31 | |
And that's when it had the address on, didn't it? | 0:08:31 | 0:08:33 | |
Of where your mother lived. | 0:08:33 | 0:08:35 | |
Now they had an address, they had to decide what to do. | 0:08:37 | 0:08:41 | |
Instinctively, Sandy wanted to go to the house where her mum lived | 0:08:41 | 0:08:45 | |
when she was born. | 0:08:45 | 0:08:47 | |
They left Norfolk and headed to Brafferton, near Darlington. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:50 | |
Would Sandy's mum still be living there? | 0:08:50 | 0:08:53 | |
Then we probably sat in the car for, I don't know, | 0:08:53 | 0:08:56 | |
an hour or something thinking about it. | 0:08:56 | 0:08:58 | |
Because we found the house and I was looking, saying to you... | 0:08:58 | 0:09:01 | |
-Can you remember? -To see if we could see anyone walking about... -See anyone come out. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:05 | |
We didn't see anyone, did we, come out of house? | 0:09:05 | 0:09:07 | |
We were hoping to see, like a... I don't know. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:09 | |
We thought, "Would she would look like you?" I think, didn't we? | 0:09:09 | 0:09:11 | |
-We both thought that, yes. -We were looking then, weren't we? Thinking, | 0:09:11 | 0:09:14 | |
"I hope a woman comes out who looks like you and I can knock on the door." | 0:09:14 | 0:09:17 | |
After a long wait, Andy decided there was nothing to lose | 0:09:17 | 0:09:21 | |
and went up to the house. | 0:09:21 | 0:09:23 | |
I was knocking on the door and you were in the car, I think. | 0:09:23 | 0:09:26 | |
A woman came to the door and I asked her and she said, | 0:09:26 | 0:09:28 | |
"I don't know what you're talking about. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:30 | |
"Sorry, I don't know anybody of that name." | 0:09:30 | 0:09:34 | |
We didn't know whether to go on. | 0:09:34 | 0:09:37 | |
It was a bit of a nightmare, wasn't it, really? | 0:09:37 | 0:09:40 | |
The trip to Brafferton had failed to unearth any trace of Sandy's mother. | 0:09:40 | 0:09:44 | |
For now, they'd hit a brick wall. | 0:09:44 | 0:09:47 | |
Baffled, weren't we? | 0:09:47 | 0:09:49 | |
Thinking, "What do we do now?" | 0:09:49 | 0:09:52 | |
It is hard because... | 0:09:52 | 0:09:54 | |
Like I say, it's hard to describe because you can't give up, can you? | 0:09:54 | 0:09:57 | |
No, because there's always a gap and you think, "I have to fill that gap." | 0:09:57 | 0:10:01 | |
I need to find it, find out. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:03 | |
Sandy's search appeared to be over, | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
but unbeknown to her, expert help was just around the corner. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:09 | |
100 miles away in Merseyside, Alfred Alcorn, born Alfie Denny, | 0:10:18 | 0:10:23 | |
is on a family finding quest of his own. | 0:10:23 | 0:10:26 | |
I was born in 1941 in Birkenhead. | 0:10:26 | 0:10:32 | |
Alfie lived with his mother Anna-Cecilia and older brother | 0:10:32 | 0:10:35 | |
Tony close to the Liverpool docks during World War II. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:39 | |
I remember my mum vividly. | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
She was alone during the war, of course, | 0:10:41 | 0:10:44 | |
and I remember her being taken away in an ambulance several times | 0:10:44 | 0:10:50 | |
to go to the hospital, coughing blood. | 0:10:50 | 0:10:53 | |
Alfie's mum had contracted tuberculosis, a common | 0:10:53 | 0:10:57 | |
bacterial disease that, before the advent of antibiotics, | 0:10:57 | 0:11:00 | |
could prove fatal. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:02 | |
And then my dad came back, | 0:11:02 | 0:11:04 | |
he came back from the war. | 0:11:04 | 0:11:06 | |
He was demobbed, oh, probably 19... | 0:11:06 | 0:11:09 | |
Late '45, early '46. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:12 | |
They were together and we were a family for a while. | 0:11:13 | 0:11:17 | |
Alfie and his brother enjoyed their childhood in post-war Liverpool. | 0:11:17 | 0:11:22 | |
Very early on, my brother and I had a lot of freedom, | 0:11:22 | 0:11:26 | |
I was probably six years old. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:28 | |
You know, we would just hang around the docks and just go for miles, | 0:11:28 | 0:11:32 | |
walking along the docks. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:34 | |
We would go down, get on the ferry and go back and forth | 0:11:34 | 0:11:38 | |
to Liverpool for almost nothing, | 0:11:38 | 0:11:41 | |
and pretend that we were in the Royal Navy. | 0:11:41 | 0:11:44 | |
That freedom to hang around was amazing. | 0:11:44 | 0:11:49 | |
Even as a teenager, I didn't have that kind of freedom. | 0:11:49 | 0:11:52 | |
But this carefree period didn't last. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:56 | |
Sadly, Alfie's father became ill. | 0:11:56 | 0:12:00 | |
I think around 1946, late '46, | 0:12:00 | 0:12:02 | |
he was diagnosed with leukaemia | 0:12:02 | 0:12:06 | |
and he died in December of 1947. | 0:12:06 | 0:12:10 | |
And then my mother's condition worsened | 0:12:10 | 0:12:13 | |
and she just got sicker and sicker. | 0:12:13 | 0:12:17 | |
Her condition meant Alfie's mother was unable to care for her two sons, | 0:12:17 | 0:12:21 | |
so Alfie and his brother were sent to live with his mother's family | 0:12:21 | 0:12:24 | |
in rural Ireland. | 0:12:24 | 0:12:26 | |
And that was a total change of life. | 0:12:26 | 0:12:29 | |
It was a little bit like going back to the 19th century | 0:12:29 | 0:12:32 | |
because we were picked up at the station in a pony and trap. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:37 | |
Alfie's ailing mother then wanted to join them in Ireland. | 0:12:37 | 0:12:41 | |
She wanted to come home but, at that time tuberculosis was, kind of, | 0:12:41 | 0:12:45 | |
the slow Ebola of the day. | 0:12:45 | 0:12:47 | |
I mean, people simply tried to avoid it. | 0:12:47 | 0:12:52 | |
Alfie's Irish relatives made the heart-wrenching decision | 0:12:52 | 0:12:56 | |
not to allow his mother to return | 0:12:56 | 0:12:58 | |
and then the news came from Liverpool that she had passed away. | 0:12:58 | 0:13:03 | |
They held a wake without her body. | 0:13:03 | 0:13:07 | |
Everybody gathered from around, | 0:13:07 | 0:13:09 | |
people recollecting what Anna-Cecelia was like. | 0:13:09 | 0:13:12 | |
You know, I was eight years old at that time. | 0:13:12 | 0:13:18 | |
We did have a family and then there wasn't any. | 0:13:18 | 0:13:21 | |
Ah, anyway... | 0:13:23 | 0:13:26 | |
It's them... | 0:13:29 | 0:13:31 | |
It was they who suffered. | 0:13:31 | 0:13:33 | |
Now orphans, Alfie and his brother Tony were adopted by | 0:13:36 | 0:13:40 | |
his mother's sister in America. | 0:13:40 | 0:13:42 | |
My mother had a sister, Mary, | 0:13:42 | 0:13:45 | |
who'd emigrated to America back in the '20s | 0:13:45 | 0:13:49 | |
and had married a dairy farmer named Alcorn - | 0:13:49 | 0:13:53 | |
that's where I get the name Alcorn - | 0:13:53 | 0:13:55 | |
so I went from being Alfred Denny to Alfred Alcorn. | 0:13:55 | 0:13:59 | |
Now living on a dairy farm, in New England, life was tough. | 0:14:00 | 0:14:04 | |
My aunt had a terrific temper. | 0:14:04 | 0:14:07 | |
The feeling was that there was simply not enough | 0:14:07 | 0:14:10 | |
gratitude in the world to, you know, | 0:14:10 | 0:14:14 | |
pay for this, to give for this. | 0:14:14 | 0:14:17 | |
And there was a lot of work to do on the farm, | 0:14:17 | 0:14:20 | |
but it meant getting up in the morning and helping out, | 0:14:20 | 0:14:23 | |
and the New England winters are brutal. | 0:14:23 | 0:14:27 | |
But Alfie came through this tough childhood | 0:14:27 | 0:14:29 | |
and the States proved to have a lot to offer the lad from Liverpool. | 0:14:29 | 0:14:33 | |
America had long been a magnet for immigrants from all | 0:14:37 | 0:14:40 | |
four corners of the globe. | 0:14:40 | 0:14:43 | |
Alfie's aunt arrived in the 1920s, | 0:14:43 | 0:14:46 | |
part of an immigration boom known as The Great Wave. | 0:14:46 | 0:14:49 | |
And for the young Alfie, 1950s America was a land of promise. | 0:14:49 | 0:14:54 | |
The country's economy was booming. | 0:14:55 | 0:14:58 | |
With victory in the bag and cash in their pockets, | 0:14:58 | 0:15:01 | |
Americans could confidently chase the American Dream. | 0:15:01 | 0:15:04 | |
The ideal that freedom, opportunity and equality | 0:15:04 | 0:15:07 | |
should be made available to all, regardless of class. | 0:15:07 | 0:15:12 | |
The frugality of the Great Depression and the war years | 0:15:12 | 0:15:15 | |
gave way to a period of materialism, | 0:15:15 | 0:15:17 | |
as society's pent-up demand for consumer goods was unleashed. | 0:15:17 | 0:15:21 | |
New cars, houses and other luxuries, | 0:15:23 | 0:15:25 | |
once the reserve of the upper classes, | 0:15:25 | 0:15:27 | |
were in the grasp of more people than ever before. | 0:15:27 | 0:15:30 | |
Alfie couldn't have arrived at a better time. | 0:15:32 | 0:15:35 | |
Alfie took full advantage of what his new life | 0:15:38 | 0:15:41 | |
across the pond could offer. | 0:15:41 | 0:15:43 | |
He carved out a successful career | 0:15:43 | 0:15:45 | |
in the Natural History department at Harvard University | 0:15:45 | 0:15:48 | |
and became a widely-read novelist and crime writer. | 0:15:48 | 0:15:51 | |
But he never forgot his roots | 0:15:55 | 0:15:57 | |
and the family he'd left behind in Ireland and in Liverpool. | 0:15:57 | 0:16:01 | |
We stayed in touch with the Irish side of the family, | 0:16:01 | 0:16:05 | |
but that other side of the family just seemed to disappear. | 0:16:05 | 0:16:10 | |
It became, kind of, like a shadow life before. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:15 | |
Almost like, did it really happen? | 0:16:15 | 0:16:19 | |
In the 1980s, desperate to reconnect with his father's side | 0:16:19 | 0:16:22 | |
of the family, the Dennys, | 0:16:22 | 0:16:24 | |
Alfie made two separate trips to Liverpool. | 0:16:24 | 0:16:28 | |
I spent a couple of days in and around Liverpool, | 0:16:28 | 0:16:32 | |
just trying to find out about the Dennys. | 0:16:32 | 0:16:35 | |
I couldn't find anything. | 0:16:35 | 0:16:37 | |
I came back here several years ago with my brother | 0:16:37 | 0:16:42 | |
and he remembered more, and so we walked over to Limekiln Lane. | 0:16:42 | 0:16:48 | |
We went along the docks. | 0:16:48 | 0:16:51 | |
We also found the hospital where we saw our dad for the last time, | 0:16:51 | 0:16:57 | |
but no Dennys. | 0:16:57 | 0:16:59 | |
With no living relatives to be found, | 0:16:59 | 0:17:02 | |
Alfie returned to America disappointed. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:05 | |
But little did he realise, his Liverpudlian Denny family | 0:17:05 | 0:17:09 | |
were about to reappear. | 0:17:09 | 0:17:11 | |
In Norfolk, Sandy Smith's search for her birth mother Janet | 0:17:17 | 0:17:21 | |
had hit a dead end, but Sandy refused to take defeat lying down. | 0:17:21 | 0:17:26 | |
She turned to the internet, | 0:17:26 | 0:17:28 | |
desperate for some kind of breakthrough. | 0:17:28 | 0:17:31 | |
I went on the internet and typed in, "Find a birth parent." | 0:17:31 | 0:17:35 | |
I thought I'd type that because I'd never tried that one. | 0:17:35 | 0:17:38 | |
The combination that you'd tried, probably "find a family," "find a friend," | 0:17:38 | 0:17:42 | |
-"find a sister," "find a mother." -"Find a birth parent." | 0:17:42 | 0:17:44 | |
Then there were loads of ads on there, what other people had put on | 0:17:44 | 0:17:48 | |
and I thought, "Oh, that looks interesting." | 0:17:48 | 0:17:50 | |
Sandy posted a message asking if anyone could help | 0:17:50 | 0:17:54 | |
and it turned out someone felt they could. | 0:17:54 | 0:17:57 | |
Sandy had been looking for her mum for 19 years | 0:17:57 | 0:18:01 | |
and I just felt, you know, after 19 years of looking | 0:18:01 | 0:18:03 | |
and not being able to find her, | 0:18:03 | 0:18:05 | |
a little bit of help from us could go a long way in that sense. | 0:18:05 | 0:18:09 | |
Family detective Fraser Kinnie knows every trick in the book | 0:18:09 | 0:18:12 | |
when it comes to navigating the internet. | 0:18:12 | 0:18:14 | |
He saw Sandy's advert online | 0:18:14 | 0:18:16 | |
and approached her, saying he could find her mum for a fee. | 0:18:16 | 0:18:21 | |
I think Sandy and Andy were quite wary, as anyone would be, | 0:18:21 | 0:18:26 | |
when I offered to help. | 0:18:26 | 0:18:28 | |
But I think it didn't take too long before they realised that there | 0:18:28 | 0:18:31 | |
was some substance to what I was saying. | 0:18:31 | 0:18:34 | |
I think then, once you start doing the research | 0:18:34 | 0:18:37 | |
and you can come up with information about the family, | 0:18:37 | 0:18:40 | |
they start realising that you're on their side, in a sense, | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
there to help them if you can. | 0:18:43 | 0:18:45 | |
From her adoption papers, Sandy knew | 0:18:45 | 0:18:47 | |
her mum's name was Janet Smith, born on the 6th of May, 1952. | 0:18:47 | 0:18:53 | |
In 1952, in the UK, there were 137 Janet Smiths born. | 0:18:53 | 0:18:57 | |
What we had to do was work out which Janet Smith we were talking about. | 0:18:57 | 0:19:01 | |
We had a date of birth for Janet Smith, | 0:19:01 | 0:19:04 | |
which then drastically reduced the number. | 0:19:04 | 0:19:07 | |
What we then tried to do was close it down by the areas that we | 0:19:07 | 0:19:10 | |
thought she was born. | 0:19:10 | 0:19:12 | |
Fraser knew she was born in the Darlington area. | 0:19:12 | 0:19:15 | |
Out of the 21 possible Janet Smiths, | 0:19:15 | 0:19:18 | |
there was one born in Northallerton | 0:19:18 | 0:19:20 | |
and because of the proximity of Northallerton and Darlington, | 0:19:20 | 0:19:23 | |
my hunch was that it was most likely that one. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:27 | |
The only way we could prove it was to find that birth certificate and that | 0:19:27 | 0:19:31 | |
then would confirm the date of birth on this certificate as being | 0:19:31 | 0:19:35 | |
the date of birth that we knew for Janet. | 0:19:35 | 0:19:38 | |
Fraser's wife Tracey went to County Durham | 0:19:38 | 0:19:41 | |
to get hold of the birth certificate. | 0:19:41 | 0:19:43 | |
Would it match the date of birth on Sandy's adoption papers? | 0:19:43 | 0:19:47 | |
Tracey went down there, bought that certificate and instantly she phoned | 0:19:47 | 0:19:50 | |
me up, and it was good news for us because we knew we were right then. | 0:19:50 | 0:19:54 | |
The dates of birth matched. | 0:19:54 | 0:19:56 | |
They had the right Janet Smith and now they also had the names | 0:19:56 | 0:20:00 | |
of Janet's mum and dad, Sandy's grandparents. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:03 | |
From that information, we could then start looking for Janet's siblings. | 0:20:03 | 0:20:07 | |
It was a key breakthrough. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:09 | |
In a matter of minutes, Fraser had tracked down possible | 0:20:09 | 0:20:12 | |
addresses for Sandy's aunts, Wendy and Linda. | 0:20:12 | 0:20:16 | |
Tracey was on her way back from Northallerton, | 0:20:16 | 0:20:18 | |
so I asked Tracey to go up to Darlington and knock on the door, | 0:20:18 | 0:20:23 | |
and hand the telephone to whoever answered the door. | 0:20:23 | 0:20:27 | |
I didn't know what to expect, turning up unannounced, | 0:20:27 | 0:20:30 | |
but as soon as I knocked on the door and once we explained who we were | 0:20:30 | 0:20:33 | |
and asked Wendy was she the sister of Janet, | 0:20:33 | 0:20:36 | |
when her niece was trying to contact her, | 0:20:36 | 0:20:39 | |
-she burst into tears. -Mh-mm. | 0:20:39 | 0:20:41 | |
We knew straight away. | 0:20:41 | 0:20:43 | |
WENDY: I just got a knock on the door. | 0:20:43 | 0:20:45 | |
She said, "Do you have a mum called Veronica, | 0:20:45 | 0:20:50 | |
"a dad called Charlie and | 0:20:50 | 0:20:52 | |
"a sister called Janet?" | 0:20:52 | 0:20:54 | |
-And I said, "Yeah." And that's what set me off. -Yeah. | 0:20:54 | 0:20:56 | |
Because she said, "We've found... | 0:20:56 | 0:21:01 | |
"Sandy." | 0:21:01 | 0:21:02 | |
It was the breakthrough Sandy had so desperately been hoping for | 0:21:05 | 0:21:09 | |
and Fraser got straight on the phone. | 0:21:09 | 0:21:11 | |
-He told me that he'd found your aunties. -Yeah. | 0:21:11 | 0:21:14 | |
And you were still at the school, picking the girls up. | 0:21:14 | 0:21:16 | |
And when you come in, I told you and you were crying. | 0:21:16 | 0:21:19 | |
I just burst into tears. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:21 | |
Wendy and Linda are Sandy's mum, Janet's, younger sisters, | 0:21:23 | 0:21:27 | |
two of 13 children who grew up in Brafferton in North Yorkshire, | 0:21:27 | 0:21:30 | |
where their father was involved in pig farming. | 0:21:30 | 0:21:34 | |
It was very hard then, wasn't it? | 0:21:34 | 0:21:36 | |
I think she was 18 when she got pregnant. | 0:21:36 | 0:21:40 | |
With such a big family, there was little room for another. | 0:21:40 | 0:21:43 | |
I wouldn't have wanted to give it up from six weeks. | 0:21:43 | 0:21:46 | |
It'd have been a hard choice to make, wouldn't it? | 0:21:46 | 0:21:49 | |
Yeah, I think it was a decision because there was all of us. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:53 | |
-We were very young and that. -Yeah. | 0:21:53 | 0:21:55 | |
Being so much older than Linda and Wendy, | 0:21:55 | 0:21:58 | |
Janet was very much a mother figure to both of them. | 0:21:58 | 0:22:01 | |
-My friends used to think my sister Janet was my mum... -Yeah. | 0:22:01 | 0:22:05 | |
..but she wasn't. And when they saw our proper parents, my mum and dad, | 0:22:05 | 0:22:08 | |
-they used to think that they were our grandparents. -Yeah. | 0:22:08 | 0:22:11 | |
Despite the sister's closeness, | 0:22:11 | 0:22:13 | |
Janet rarely felt able to discuss the child she'd had to let go. | 0:22:13 | 0:22:17 | |
I never spoke about it because Janet never spoke about it. | 0:22:17 | 0:22:21 | |
It's only because of what mum said to me, you know what I mean? | 0:22:21 | 0:22:24 | |
And I just used to say, "You've got a little girl called Sandy?" | 0:22:24 | 0:22:28 | |
and Janet used to say, "Yeah." | 0:22:28 | 0:22:30 | |
But if I'd asked any more questions, | 0:22:30 | 0:22:32 | |
she used to just turn round and say, "I don't want to talk about it." | 0:22:32 | 0:22:35 | |
Yeah, I think she maybe thought I was too young, to not talk about... | 0:22:35 | 0:22:39 | |
-But we did know about her, didn't we? -Yeah. -Yeah, yeah. | 0:22:39 | 0:22:42 | |
Janet had lost Sandy but went on to live a full life. | 0:22:42 | 0:22:47 | |
-Oh, Janet was happy-go-lucky. -Yep. | 0:22:47 | 0:22:49 | |
She used to love her singing and... Don't know, she just... | 0:22:49 | 0:22:51 | |
Yeah, used to always get on the karaoke. | 0:22:51 | 0:22:53 | |
-..loved being around people. -Yeah. -Yeah. | 0:22:53 | 0:22:55 | |
Sadly, Janet died in 2002 from cancer. | 0:22:57 | 0:23:01 | |
12 years later, Linda and Wendy were overjoyed to hear, | 0:23:05 | 0:23:09 | |
out of the blue, from Janet's daughter Sandy. | 0:23:09 | 0:23:12 | |
-She rung me and... -Scared. | 0:23:12 | 0:23:14 | |
I was talking to her as if I'd known her for years, you know what I mean? | 0:23:14 | 0:23:17 | |
It was just like... | 0:23:17 | 0:23:20 | |
-our big sister's come back. -Yeah. | 0:23:20 | 0:23:23 | |
Shame she couldn't have met her though, isn't it? | 0:23:23 | 0:23:26 | |
But the other thing I think now is... | 0:23:26 | 0:23:29 | |
she's given us the next best thing. | 0:23:29 | 0:23:32 | |
Sandy has met her aunts just a handful of times and today is a much | 0:23:43 | 0:23:47 | |
welcomed chance for the three of them to get to know each other more. | 0:23:47 | 0:23:50 | |
-Hello. -Hi. -Long time. | 0:23:53 | 0:23:56 | |
-Hello, babes. -Are you all right? -Yeah, brilliant. | 0:23:58 | 0:24:02 | |
Remember the first time like this, eh? | 0:24:02 | 0:24:04 | |
I know, yeah. It's always like the first time meeting | 0:24:04 | 0:24:07 | |
-when we see Sandy. -It only seemed like five minutes ago, didn't it? | 0:24:07 | 0:24:09 | |
It always feels like the first time every time we meet, doesn't it? | 0:24:09 | 0:24:13 | |
-Yeah, it does. -We'll never forget that. -I know. | 0:24:13 | 0:24:15 | |
SHE EXHALES | 0:24:15 | 0:24:17 | |
You don't want to start, do you? | 0:24:17 | 0:24:19 | |
For Sandy, Wendy and Linda, being reunited provides them all | 0:24:19 | 0:24:24 | |
with a new emotional connection to Janet. | 0:24:24 | 0:24:27 | |
It feels as if we've known each other for years, doesn't it? | 0:24:27 | 0:24:29 | |
-It does, yeah. -It feels like, from the first phone call... -Clicked, yeah. | 0:24:29 | 0:24:32 | |
-Yeah, we just got on so well. -That was nerve racking that, like. -I know. | 0:24:32 | 0:24:37 | |
Shall I? Shall I? Yeah, I will. | 0:24:37 | 0:24:39 | |
It was like our Janet talking to me again | 0:24:39 | 0:24:41 | |
and that was overwhelming as well, you know what I mean? | 0:24:41 | 0:24:44 | |
It was like... | 0:24:44 | 0:24:46 | |
Oh, she's given us a good thing here, you know what I mean? | 0:24:46 | 0:24:48 | |
You'll know that, won't you? Because, obviously, I've never heard her talk. | 0:24:48 | 0:24:51 | |
Yeah. | 0:24:51 | 0:24:53 | |
When it comes out of me, you'll be thinking of your sister. | 0:24:53 | 0:24:55 | |
Yes, of course. We look at you and we can see her, | 0:24:55 | 0:24:58 | |
you know what I mean? | 0:24:58 | 0:24:59 | |
It's scary, isn't it? | 0:24:59 | 0:25:02 | |
Isn't it a lovely day? | 0:25:02 | 0:25:04 | |
Today, Linda and Wendy want to show Sandy where her mum Janet grew up... | 0:25:04 | 0:25:10 | |
and it's a place Sandy recognises from earlier in her search. | 0:25:10 | 0:25:14 | |
God, it's weird coming back here after 13 years. | 0:25:14 | 0:25:17 | |
We knocked on that door, trying to find my mum. | 0:25:17 | 0:25:20 | |
-I know, it's a shame we weren't here. -Oh, yeah. | 0:25:20 | 0:25:22 | |
-Because we didn't live here then. -The woman that... -Imagine what it'd been like. | 0:25:22 | 0:25:25 | |
The woman that answered the door, she said she didn't know. | 0:25:25 | 0:25:28 | |
It's quite nice to come back here with yous. | 0:25:28 | 0:25:31 | |
You'll have to move here, Sandy, to the village. | 0:25:31 | 0:25:35 | |
Like, my mum used to knock round here with yous and things, | 0:25:35 | 0:25:37 | |
-know what I mean? -Yeah. -Yeah. | 0:25:37 | 0:25:38 | |
It's quite unreal, to be honest. | 0:25:38 | 0:25:40 | |
The aunts are keen for Sandy to learn as much as she can | 0:25:42 | 0:25:45 | |
about her mother. | 0:25:45 | 0:25:47 | |
They're taking her to meet their older brother Rob, | 0:25:47 | 0:25:50 | |
who has lots of photos of Janet. | 0:25:50 | 0:25:52 | |
-Hello, there. -Hello, are you all right? -How are you doing? | 0:25:52 | 0:25:55 | |
I'm fine, thank you. Yeah, you? | 0:25:55 | 0:25:59 | |
-WENDY: -Are you all right, Rob? -Why-aye. | 0:25:59 | 0:26:02 | |
It's nice to see photos of my mum because, when I look at them, | 0:26:05 | 0:26:08 | |
I think, "Some of them just look like me." | 0:26:08 | 0:26:11 | |
-You try and work out what's happened by looking at the picture... -Yeah. | 0:26:11 | 0:26:14 | |
-..or what she's been doing. -It's just... | 0:26:14 | 0:26:16 | |
As you can see, she's had a fun life. | 0:26:16 | 0:26:18 | |
-It's the blonde hair. -I haven't seen them ones before. | 0:26:18 | 0:26:22 | |
It looks like she's happy enough. I always wondered what she looked like. | 0:26:22 | 0:26:26 | |
Until you see photos and that, then you don't, so... | 0:26:26 | 0:26:28 | |
Did you think, "Oh, she just looks like me"? | 0:26:28 | 0:26:31 | |
-I did, yeah, she's got a look of me, yeah. -Shocked. | 0:26:31 | 0:26:34 | |
Because I always wondered, when I was younger, when... | 0:26:34 | 0:26:37 | |
"Do I look like my mum? Do I look like my dad?" | 0:26:37 | 0:26:39 | |
You don't know, do you? | 0:26:39 | 0:26:41 | |
So defo my mum. | 0:26:41 | 0:26:43 | |
Me mum looks happy holding a baby. | 0:26:43 | 0:26:45 | |
Yeah, that's what I keep looking at, when she's got hold of the baby. | 0:26:45 | 0:26:48 | |
-The smile's different. -Yeah. She must be thinking... -Memories. | 0:26:48 | 0:26:52 | |
..of me, yeah. | 0:26:52 | 0:26:54 | |
Glad I've found yous. | 0:26:54 | 0:26:58 | |
You can have that now, can't you? | 0:26:58 | 0:27:00 | |
Yeah. | 0:27:00 | 0:27:02 | |
Sorry. | 0:27:02 | 0:27:04 | |
-I did say I wasn't going to cry. -You're setting me off. | 0:27:04 | 0:27:07 | |
There's nowt wrong with crying, lass, it just shows that you care. | 0:27:07 | 0:27:10 | |
I was just looking at the photos and things. | 0:27:10 | 0:27:13 | |
You can see she's had fun and that, | 0:27:13 | 0:27:15 | |
even though she had to give me up at the end. | 0:27:15 | 0:27:18 | |
-It would have been hard for our Janet, wouldn't it, like? -Yeah. | 0:27:18 | 0:27:21 | |
Giving you up and then having to carry on with life. | 0:27:21 | 0:27:24 | |
Because she'd have known in her mind that... | 0:27:24 | 0:27:26 | |
-That you were there, somewhere. -..I was there, somewhere. -Yeah. | 0:27:26 | 0:27:30 | |
Sandy knows for sure that her mum never forgot her | 0:27:30 | 0:27:33 | |
and always hoped one day she'd return, | 0:27:33 | 0:27:36 | |
and she has the proof. | 0:27:36 | 0:27:38 | |
I got a ring given off one of my mum's friends. | 0:27:38 | 0:27:43 | |
The words were, my mum said, | 0:27:43 | 0:27:46 | |
"If my daughter ever turns up, please give her this ring." | 0:27:46 | 0:27:50 | |
And because I turned up and found you all, she gave me the ring... | 0:27:50 | 0:27:54 | |
-That's nice. -..which was quite emotional. | 0:27:54 | 0:27:56 | |
It'll be with me forever and I'll treasure it as much as I can. | 0:27:56 | 0:28:00 | |
-She always wore it and she'd expect you to always wear it, wouldn't she? -Yeah. -Yeah. | 0:28:00 | 0:28:04 | |
The ring has brought Sandy physically closer to her mum | 0:28:04 | 0:28:08 | |
and Sandy's return to her family has only strengthened | 0:28:08 | 0:28:12 | |
her aunts' memories of a much missed sister. | 0:28:12 | 0:28:16 | |
-Nobody could say you don't look like your mother. -Yeah. | 0:28:16 | 0:28:19 | |
You're two peas in a pod. | 0:28:21 | 0:28:23 | |
The photos, and that, I've seen today were quite upsetting | 0:28:23 | 0:28:27 | |
because they're all of my mum and the family. | 0:28:27 | 0:28:29 | |
And it's just upsetting because I think she looks like me. | 0:28:29 | 0:28:33 | |
Yeah, I got upset. I didn't want to but I did. | 0:28:33 | 0:28:36 | |
Now I've found my family, I relate my mum through | 0:28:36 | 0:28:40 | |
my aunties and uncles. | 0:28:40 | 0:28:42 | |
It still hasn't sunk in properly yet. | 0:28:42 | 0:28:44 | |
-Yeah, it's only been a few months since we met her. -I still wake up | 0:28:44 | 0:28:47 | |
-and think we were just dreaming it, know what I mean? -Yeah. | 0:28:47 | 0:28:50 | |
But no, no. | 0:28:50 | 0:28:51 | |
-It's still emotional sometimes as well. -Yeah, definitely. | 0:28:51 | 0:28:54 | |
-Aye, of course it is. -There's no keeping her away now, is there? | 0:28:54 | 0:28:58 | |
No, that's it, she's got us all now. She's got us all. | 0:28:58 | 0:29:01 | |
Might be a long way away, but not in our hearts and our mind. | 0:29:01 | 0:29:06 | |
I've learnt a lot today about my mum | 0:29:06 | 0:29:08 | |
and I'm so glad that I've heard such great things about her. | 0:29:08 | 0:29:13 | |
It's just a shame that I didn't get to meet her | 0:29:13 | 0:29:15 | |
but, yeah, it's been great today. | 0:29:15 | 0:29:17 | |
Alfie Alcorn was born in Liverpool, | 0:29:24 | 0:29:26 | |
but aged just eight, he was adopted by relatives in America | 0:29:26 | 0:29:31 | |
after both his parents died. | 0:29:31 | 0:29:33 | |
Alfie's been desperate to track down any family on his father's side, | 0:29:33 | 0:29:38 | |
but after two separate trips to Liverpool ended in failure, | 0:29:38 | 0:29:41 | |
he'd given up hope. | 0:29:41 | 0:29:43 | |
I spent a couple of days, in and around Liverpool, | 0:29:43 | 0:29:46 | |
just trying to find out about the Dennys, | 0:29:46 | 0:29:50 | |
but no Dennys. | 0:29:50 | 0:29:51 | |
But 60 miles away in Colne, Lancashire, | 0:29:53 | 0:29:56 | |
73-year-old John Denny | 0:29:56 | 0:29:58 | |
has also been wondering about his father's life. | 0:29:58 | 0:30:02 | |
Because I was born in the war, like a lot of kids, | 0:30:02 | 0:30:04 | |
we never knew our fathers. | 0:30:04 | 0:30:06 | |
My dad was away in active service in Brazil, Argentina, | 0:30:06 | 0:30:10 | |
all over the world basically. | 0:30:10 | 0:30:13 | |
And as a child growing up in wartime Liverpool, | 0:30:13 | 0:30:15 | |
his dad's wider family also remained largely a mystery. | 0:30:15 | 0:30:19 | |
On my father's side, he was one of, | 0:30:19 | 0:30:22 | |
I think it was, eight children. | 0:30:22 | 0:30:24 | |
At that time, you didn't really know just who was who. | 0:30:24 | 0:30:28 | |
Now kids can ask their parents anything, | 0:30:28 | 0:30:31 | |
or get told everything by their parents. | 0:30:31 | 0:30:34 | |
When I was a kid, you wouldn't dare to ask questions. | 0:30:34 | 0:30:38 | |
John's determination to find out more about his dad's family | 0:30:38 | 0:30:41 | |
has only grown with time. | 0:30:41 | 0:30:43 | |
As you get older, people disappear, | 0:30:43 | 0:30:46 | |
they either leave town or you've been told that they've died. | 0:30:46 | 0:30:50 | |
It's part of your ageing process. | 0:30:50 | 0:30:52 | |
I realise now that I didn't know that much about my own family | 0:30:52 | 0:30:56 | |
and I don't want my granddaughter to not know who her family was. | 0:30:56 | 0:31:00 | |
So John resolved to create a family tree for his granddaughter. | 0:31:00 | 0:31:04 | |
During the course of the research, he typed his own name | 0:31:04 | 0:31:08 | |
into an internet search engine and made a life-changing discovery. | 0:31:08 | 0:31:12 | |
I used one of the search engines and put my own name in, | 0:31:12 | 0:31:15 | |
and it came up with the name of Alfred John Alcorn. | 0:31:15 | 0:31:19 | |
And I thought, "What is Alfred John Alcorn got to do with John Denny?" | 0:31:19 | 0:31:23 | |
And it turns out he's an American author. | 0:31:24 | 0:31:27 | |
A little more digging uncovered further details about this | 0:31:27 | 0:31:31 | |
mysterious Mr Alcorn. | 0:31:31 | 0:31:33 | |
There was a bio that said that Alfred John Alcorn was | 0:31:33 | 0:31:38 | |
born in June, 1941, | 0:31:38 | 0:31:43 | |
and his name at that time was Alfred John Denny. | 0:31:43 | 0:31:47 | |
So as I read further into his bio, he talks about his dad, | 0:31:47 | 0:31:51 | |
who was Alfred James Denny, | 0:31:51 | 0:31:53 | |
and, wow, did that ring a bell. | 0:31:53 | 0:31:55 | |
That was Pop's brother. | 0:31:55 | 0:31:58 | |
John had stumbled across a cousin he never knew existed. | 0:31:58 | 0:32:02 | |
Next, he went on social media and struck gold. | 0:32:02 | 0:32:05 | |
It showed an Alfred John, | 0:32:05 | 0:32:08 | |
or Alfred J Alcorn in Boston, | 0:32:08 | 0:32:11 | |
so I thought, "That's my man." | 0:32:11 | 0:32:14 | |
I sent him a friend request and, | 0:32:14 | 0:32:16 | |
although there's a five-hour time lag between here and Boston, | 0:32:16 | 0:32:20 | |
there was an answer about 20 minutes later. | 0:32:20 | 0:32:23 | |
"Hi, John. How the hell have you found me? | 0:32:23 | 0:32:26 | |
"Where are you? | 0:32:26 | 0:32:28 | |
"I think we're related." | 0:32:28 | 0:32:29 | |
I wrote back immediately and at first a little bit, | 0:32:29 | 0:32:33 | |
not sceptical, but since I'd been so unsuccessful, | 0:32:33 | 0:32:38 | |
not quite believing. | 0:32:38 | 0:32:40 | |
And then it, you know, became obvious that John was my first cousin. | 0:32:40 | 0:32:45 | |
He was overjoyed, I think, because I think he'd found the key | 0:32:45 | 0:32:48 | |
to a side of the family, | 0:32:48 | 0:32:52 | |
a side of his life, he just knew absolutely nothing about. | 0:32:52 | 0:32:56 | |
It was a really nice surprise to suddenly think, "Wow." | 0:32:56 | 0:33:00 | |
You know, again this was this shadow world, | 0:33:00 | 0:33:04 | |
almost a ghost world, | 0:33:04 | 0:33:06 | |
that was coming to life. | 0:33:06 | 0:33:08 | |
Over the past 20 years, the internet has revolutionised | 0:33:10 | 0:33:14 | |
the process of finding missing relatives. | 0:33:14 | 0:33:17 | |
Without leaving your home, | 0:33:19 | 0:33:20 | |
you have a wealth of genealogy research tools at your fingertips. | 0:33:20 | 0:33:25 | |
Message boards are a great way to share information and to | 0:33:25 | 0:33:29 | |
connect with other people who are also searching for lost relatives. | 0:33:29 | 0:33:34 | |
And, of course, there's social media, | 0:33:34 | 0:33:37 | |
which can be a very immediate way of tracking someone down. | 0:33:37 | 0:33:41 | |
But if you do find someone quickly via this route, | 0:33:41 | 0:33:43 | |
don't act straight away. | 0:33:43 | 0:33:46 | |
Take time to consider how to make contact | 0:33:46 | 0:33:48 | |
and think about the potential impact this might have on you and them. | 0:33:48 | 0:33:53 | |
It can be a good idea to use an intermediary, | 0:33:53 | 0:33:56 | |
especially in cases of adoption, where it's strongly recommended | 0:33:56 | 0:34:00 | |
you only proceed with the help | 0:34:00 | 0:34:01 | |
and advice of an experienced adoption counsellor. | 0:34:01 | 0:34:05 | |
After more than 60 years' separation, | 0:34:08 | 0:34:10 | |
Alfred has finally found his Liverpool family | 0:34:10 | 0:34:13 | |
and John now has a new connection to his own father's past. | 0:34:13 | 0:34:18 | |
I'd felt that our family hadn't treated Alfie | 0:34:18 | 0:34:22 | |
as he deserved to be treated, following the death of his parents. | 0:34:22 | 0:34:27 | |
And I wanted to try, if I could, help him in some way. | 0:34:27 | 0:34:30 | |
Realising Alfie only had faint memories of his father, | 0:34:32 | 0:34:36 | |
John sent him a photograph. | 0:34:36 | 0:34:38 | |
I remembered him in my memories, | 0:34:38 | 0:34:42 | |
but I had no photographic evidence at all, | 0:34:42 | 0:34:46 | |
and then I got this picture | 0:34:46 | 0:34:49 | |
of him in his uniform. | 0:34:49 | 0:34:53 | |
It was the first time Alfie had seen his father's face | 0:34:53 | 0:34:57 | |
in over 60 years. | 0:34:57 | 0:34:59 | |
It was just incredibly gratifying | 0:34:59 | 0:35:02 | |
to be able to look at this picture and remember him. | 0:35:02 | 0:35:05 | |
And so the memory lined up with the photograph, so to speak. | 0:35:05 | 0:35:09 | |
And it took me a little while for that to happen, but then it did. | 0:35:09 | 0:35:13 | |
Now, nine months after they first made contact, | 0:35:13 | 0:35:17 | |
Alfie's come over from America to Liverpool, with his wife Sally, | 0:35:17 | 0:35:21 | |
to meet John for what may, or may not, be the very first time. | 0:35:21 | 0:35:26 | |
I have this very, very faint recollection of visiting this | 0:35:26 | 0:35:30 | |
family who'd got a couple of kids | 0:35:30 | 0:35:33 | |
about my age. | 0:35:33 | 0:35:36 | |
Now, with hindsight, | 0:35:36 | 0:35:38 | |
it could well of been Alfie. | 0:35:38 | 0:35:40 | |
It's going to be about 70 years since that meeting, | 0:35:40 | 0:35:44 | |
if we did even actually meet then, but I'm pretty sure now that we did. | 0:35:44 | 0:35:48 | |
They've arranged to meet at the Old Docks in Liverpool, | 0:35:50 | 0:35:53 | |
an area much changed since their childhoods. | 0:35:53 | 0:35:56 | |
I don't know quite what to expect, | 0:35:59 | 0:36:03 | |
first cousin, my age. | 0:36:03 | 0:36:05 | |
I don't think he's a teetotaller... | 0:36:05 | 0:36:08 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:36:08 | 0:36:10 | |
..so we have some things in common. | 0:36:10 | 0:36:12 | |
Basically, I just want to thank him, | 0:36:12 | 0:36:14 | |
you know, for opening up that | 0:36:14 | 0:36:17 | |
closed chapter of my life. | 0:36:17 | 0:36:20 | |
I think it will be kind of amazing to find... | 0:36:21 | 0:36:25 | |
To be able to just speak directly back and forth. | 0:36:25 | 0:36:28 | |
I'm sure other things will become unearthed. | 0:36:28 | 0:36:32 | |
In all honesty, I don't know quite what to expect. | 0:36:33 | 0:36:37 | |
One has a picture of the | 0:36:38 | 0:36:42 | |
atypical American, sort of loud and brash. | 0:36:42 | 0:36:45 | |
But then again, the guy is a limey at heart. | 0:36:45 | 0:36:48 | |
He was born a scouser | 0:36:48 | 0:36:50 | |
and will be a scouser, | 0:36:50 | 0:36:53 | |
so we'll just have to wait and see. | 0:36:53 | 0:36:56 | |
So it all builds up to a degree of, | 0:36:56 | 0:36:58 | |
shall we say, nervous anticipation. | 0:36:58 | 0:37:01 | |
It's... | 0:37:01 | 0:37:02 | |
It's... You know, words fail me. | 0:37:02 | 0:37:04 | |
It's mega. It really is mega. | 0:37:04 | 0:37:07 | |
I think I recognise the old, red brick | 0:37:09 | 0:37:13 | |
more than anything else | 0:37:13 | 0:37:16 | |
because, like everything else, it's been, kind of, | 0:37:16 | 0:37:18 | |
tarted up over the years. | 0:37:18 | 0:37:20 | |
Ah, I love this little, these little docks. | 0:37:24 | 0:37:29 | |
I get... | 0:37:29 | 0:37:30 | |
OK... Good God, that's him! | 0:37:30 | 0:37:33 | |
My goodness. | 0:37:33 | 0:37:34 | |
-Alfie! -Cousin! | 0:37:34 | 0:37:36 | |
You old dog! | 0:37:36 | 0:37:39 | |
-How are you? -I'm fine. | 0:37:39 | 0:37:42 | |
-You've kept me waiting nine months. -I did, I did. Nine months, yeah. | 0:37:42 | 0:37:46 | |
-And I've kept you waiting 73 years. -Exactly, yeah. | 0:37:46 | 0:37:51 | |
-Hello, lovely to meet you, John. -And you. -Great. | 0:37:51 | 0:37:56 | |
-It's amazing. -Yes. -It is. Good for you for pulling this one off. | 0:37:56 | 0:38:00 | |
Yeah, thank you. | 0:38:00 | 0:38:02 | |
-Thank you so much. -Alfie! -Cousin! | 0:38:02 | 0:38:05 | |
-God, you're the first Denny I've seen in... -Ever. | 0:38:05 | 0:38:09 | |
-..in nearly 70 years. -Yeah, yeah. | 0:38:09 | 0:38:13 | |
Aware of all the gaps in Alfie's knowledge, | 0:38:13 | 0:38:15 | |
John's brought with him a case full of precious memories | 0:38:15 | 0:38:19 | |
of the Liverpool family he's barely known, | 0:38:19 | 0:38:22 | |
including the photograph of his father. | 0:38:22 | 0:38:25 | |
-That's Alfred James. -Oh, my. | 0:38:25 | 0:38:29 | |
-Not a bad-looking fella. -Well, all of the Dennys are handsome. | 0:38:29 | 0:38:32 | |
Yeah, that's true. | 0:38:32 | 0:38:34 | |
It is incredible to see another picture | 0:38:34 | 0:38:37 | |
and what's really incredible is that box of goodies. | 0:38:37 | 0:38:40 | |
-Well, you've had to wait for that then. -I know, I know. | 0:38:40 | 0:38:43 | |
That's going to take us... | 0:38:43 | 0:38:44 | |
We've got to live a few more years so we can get through that. | 0:38:44 | 0:38:48 | |
So what do your kids think about this? | 0:38:48 | 0:38:50 | |
They're happy for me. They think I feel more legitimate now somehow. | 0:38:50 | 0:38:54 | |
You have made all of the Dennys talk again. | 0:38:57 | 0:39:01 | |
Really?! OK, well, you made me... | 0:39:01 | 0:39:03 | |
-You know... It's your fault. -No, it's not. It's yours. | 0:39:03 | 0:39:06 | |
Alfie may have the rest of his life to catch up on the family history, | 0:39:09 | 0:39:13 | |
but he only has a couple of days in his old home town. | 0:39:13 | 0:39:16 | |
And with his new-found cousin, he's keen to spend time retracing | 0:39:16 | 0:39:21 | |
his life as a child, growing up around the Liverpool docks... | 0:39:21 | 0:39:24 | |
..starting with the street where he lived as a little boy. | 0:39:26 | 0:39:30 | |
-Sherlock Lane, I remember that. -Yeah, yeah. | 0:39:30 | 0:39:33 | |
So it's a little bit Sherlock Holmes that we found it. | 0:39:33 | 0:39:36 | |
A little bit, yeah. | 0:39:36 | 0:39:37 | |
And then the entrance to the house is up and in to the... | 0:39:37 | 0:39:42 | |
-It's in the ginnel, is it? -Do you want to...? | 0:39:42 | 0:39:44 | |
-Let's give that a go. -Yeah. | 0:39:44 | 0:39:46 | |
Alfie's old house is still standing. | 0:39:46 | 0:39:49 | |
He and his family lived above a shop, | 0:39:49 | 0:39:51 | |
though things have changed somewhat since then. | 0:39:51 | 0:39:54 | |
I lived here back in the early '40s... | 0:39:54 | 0:39:56 | |
-SHOPKEEPER: -Oh, right. | 0:39:56 | 0:39:58 | |
..with my bother and my mother and, | 0:39:58 | 0:40:00 | |
at times my dad, he was away in the war... | 0:40:00 | 0:40:03 | |
and this was an old bicycle shop. | 0:40:03 | 0:40:08 | |
It is one of those things that's just simply hard to of imagined | 0:40:08 | 0:40:12 | |
back then that there would have been this kind of abundance now. | 0:40:12 | 0:40:17 | |
Then it's time to take a look round the back - | 0:40:17 | 0:40:20 | |
Alfie's natural playground as a kid. | 0:40:20 | 0:40:22 | |
We used to have Guy Fawkes bonfires here, | 0:40:24 | 0:40:28 | |
right on this area right here, yeah. | 0:40:28 | 0:40:31 | |
And it's not just Alfie for whom memories are stirring. | 0:40:31 | 0:40:35 | |
I'm pretty sure now that that recollection I've got... | 0:40:35 | 0:40:40 | |
Because it was the terrace and that was it. | 0:40:40 | 0:40:43 | |
And I remember coming out through the house, into a back yard, | 0:40:43 | 0:40:47 | |
which presumably is going to be there. | 0:40:47 | 0:40:50 | |
-This -back yard. The -back yard. Yeah. | 0:40:50 | 0:40:52 | |
-I think you and I have actually played together. -We may have, yeah. | 0:40:52 | 0:40:56 | |
And for two small boys growing up, what could be more exciting | 0:40:58 | 0:41:02 | |
than a treacle factory on the doorstep? | 0:41:02 | 0:41:05 | |
These used to molasses then? | 0:41:05 | 0:41:06 | |
-There were two or three that were molasses... -Yeah. | 0:41:06 | 0:41:09 | |
..and they bricked them up against the Luftwaffe | 0:41:09 | 0:41:12 | |
because you didn't want molasses all over the place. | 0:41:12 | 0:41:17 | |
You'd come to a sticky end, I should say. But when they trucks would | 0:41:17 | 0:41:20 | |
pull in, or when they were coming out, would slow down | 0:41:20 | 0:41:23 | |
and it was still dripping from where it discharged the molasses. | 0:41:23 | 0:41:27 | |
We'd ride on the back of a truck for a while, | 0:41:27 | 0:41:30 | |
taking a finger and licking the stuff off. | 0:41:30 | 0:41:32 | |
Didn't your mum give you some...? | 0:41:32 | 0:41:34 | |
Sweet memories for Alfie. | 0:41:34 | 0:41:35 | |
The perfect end to a momentous day, which has put him back in touch | 0:41:35 | 0:41:39 | |
with his father's side off the family after more than 60 years. | 0:41:39 | 0:41:43 | |
The whole world has changed, | 0:41:45 | 0:41:47 | |
so it's coming back to the same area, | 0:41:47 | 0:41:50 | |
but you're not coming back to the same place. | 0:41:50 | 0:41:53 | |
I had a link to my past before but now I have a living link. | 0:41:53 | 0:41:57 | |
It's the other side of my family, where I came from, | 0:41:57 | 0:42:00 | |
and maybe it's a form of egotism, but I'm very curious about them. | 0:42:00 | 0:42:05 | |
Coming round with Alfie, it's just blowing my mind away, | 0:42:05 | 0:42:08 | |
it really is. | 0:42:08 | 0:42:09 | |
He's really pleased, I think. | 0:42:09 | 0:42:12 | |
It's a shame that we've missed what we have. | 0:42:12 | 0:42:15 | |
But I tell you what, the last few days... | 0:42:17 | 0:42:19 | |
..it's as if I've known the guy all my life, it really is. | 0:42:20 | 0:42:23 | |
What happened to Alfie has made him what he is today, | 0:42:23 | 0:42:27 | |
and having seen the surroundings and all the rest of it, | 0:42:27 | 0:42:30 | |
I don't think Alfie would have achieved half as much. | 0:42:30 | 0:42:32 | |
I mean, OK, we might have been great mates | 0:42:32 | 0:42:35 | |
and all the rest of it, and that would have been fantastic, | 0:42:35 | 0:42:37 | |
but I don't think he'd have been the man he is today | 0:42:37 | 0:42:40 | |
without all of those formative years, | 0:42:40 | 0:42:42 | |
however awful they must have been for him and his brother. | 0:42:42 | 0:42:45 | |
It really is... It is... | 0:42:45 | 0:42:47 | |
It's moving. I'm sorry. | 0:42:47 | 0:42:49 | |
John's invited me over, we've come, it's been amazing so far. | 0:42:52 | 0:42:57 | |
And I think it's my turn now to invite him to the United States, | 0:42:58 | 0:43:03 | |
to New England, and show him some of the life that I did lead. | 0:43:03 | 0:43:10 | |
Reunited, the cousins can't wait to make up for lost time. | 0:43:10 | 0:43:14 |