Malia Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents

The freedom of your first ever holiday with your mates...

This programme contains strong language.

..where everyone's up for it and anything goes - cheap booze...

dirty dancing...

and that all-important independence.

A chance to get away from Mum and Dad.

Sorry, Dad.

If my mum saw me right now, she'd be like, "What?!"

But on this holiday, the parents are coming too,

secretly watching...

Sophie!

-..Sneakily spying.

-I can't stand it.

-And outrageously hiding.

-Get down.

All to see if their kids can stand on their own two feet.

PARENTS SCREAM

It's bloody disgusting.

She's gone for a vajazzle.

-This is not what a mum wants to see.

-Sorry, stop filming.

But will it bring them closer together...

I love that boy so much.

..or drive them further apart?

-You're nicked!

-Oh, my God!

Coming up, it's booze...

-boys...

-Do you love me?

..and bad behaviour

in Malia.

# Sex on the beach Come on, move your body... #

18-year-old geezer Andy is leaving behind his doting mum, Debbie...

I would say he is the prankster,

but hasn't got a bad bone in his body.

..for the holiday of a lifetime with his best mates.

Women surrounding me, got my wellies on - can't go wrong.

But will the self-acclaimed lasso man pull more girls

-than any of his mates?

-Wahey!

And 19-year-old wild child Adina escapes the clutches

of her overprotective mum...

I think she thinks she knows everything, but there's some stuff that you don't tell your mum.

..for her first ever girls' holiday.

If she shows me that I've brought her up well, then that's perfect.

But as the parents spy on their teenagers...

PARENTS SHRIEK

What is she doing? This is just appalling behaviour.

..their plans to get closer to their kids...

I can't watch this. Sorry.

..go disastrously wrong.

-I do feel a bit sick.

-I'm sorry!

-I'm sorry.

You're mugging me off in front of thousands of people. Don't get all that in my face.

In Chorley, Lancashire, 19-year-old party girl Adina is about to go

on her first girls' holiday.

Wild child Adina has big plans for her trip.

When I'm on holiday, I'll probably drink quite a lot of alcohol.

I'll probably be a bit more forward with boys as well

than I would be when I was sober.

I'll be a bit more like a predator!

Adina will be leaving behind protective mum Justine

before heading to university in September.

Be careful - you'll electrocute yourself.

It's not safe.

Don't stick the knife in the toaster. You know better.

She thinks that I'm, like, still five, and that I am going to, like,

stick my fingers in the plug or something.

Have you started packing?

I think when you, like, go away on your own, you can just do anything.

There's no-one there, like, "Don't do that, don't do this,"

and just enjoying ourselves and not having to think about

anybody at home.

I'm a very nosy mum, yeah.

What you wearing tonight?

As soon as she goes out, on the Blackberry,

"Where are you? What you doing? What's the music like?"

-I'll text her all night.

-I think my mum...

We are close. She knows a lot

but there's a lot of things I wouldn't tell her,

but I think she thinks she knows me better than she does.

Are you all ready, then, girls? Be good.

All right? No getting too drunk. Don't leave each other.

Promise me. That's one thing I worry about.

With this holiday, she will do a lot of growing up in that respect.

She's going to uni - she'll have to learn how to share.

She'll be living in halls and things like that,

and I am hoping it'll be a really good insight and she'll learn a lot.

Adina was brought up by single mum Justine after her parents split up

ten years ago.

Being a single mum has been very hard, but at the end of the day,

I had no choice. I had to get on with it.

Don't go off with any boys that you don't know.

I worry about the amount of alcohol Adina drinks when she goes out,

because if she meets a boy she might have sex and not wear a condom.

I don't want to be a grandma.

She doesn't agree with casual sex.

I'm more laid-back about sex than she is,

so that's why we don't really discuss it,

because we've got different opinions.

I had her at a very young age. I was 19.

When I was 20 I had a house, a job and a baby to look after.

But Justine's sister, Joanne, has always been on hand to help.

I was there the day she was born.

I love her to bits and I feel that we have a really good relationship.

Yeah, she's my little Adina.

Joanne's quite liberal compared to me,

but I do preach to her a bit about parenting skills.

Ooh!

Joining Adina on her girlie holiday will be...

I really don't like it!

Best mate, Mica...

It's really tickly!

..fun-loving Lauren...

I hate fish!

..and party girl Lizzie.

See you later, Mum!

I'm hoping she stays safe and she doesn't do anything stupid.

Maybe this holiday will help me to let her go,

because I can't, just at the moment.

Bye, girlies!

-See you later.

-GIRLS: Bye!

-Have a good time!

Love you all. Bye!

Bit nervous.

Little bit tearful. I'll probably have a cry in about half an hour

when I sit down and have a brew.

We're free for a week.

Little does Adina know I'll be there tomorrow. I don't know how I feel about that.

GIRLS: # Ooh, ahh, Malia Say ooh, ahh, Malia! #

18-year-old Jack-the-lad Andy is getting ready for a boys' holiday

to remember.

This holiday is going to be unbelievable.

As soon as we're ready - straight on the strip.

Absolutely attacking the shots, the jugs. Just until I can't stand.

I can't actually wait.

For this holiday, girls are Andy's top priority.

Andy's little dance move, on a night out...

Unbelievable.

He'll have a pretend lasso like that,

swing it round and throw it to a bird.

Doing this little shuffle with his feet.

Joining Andy on holiday are...

We've got a big pulling competition.

..competitive Joe...

We always play Pull The Pig.

..animal lover Olly...

With the beer goggles on, you jump on anything.

..and ladies' man Bill.

Andy left school at 16 and is still looking for his calling in life.

Done a bit of labouring, general building work,

I've done painting and decorating, a bit of scaffolding, tiling,

bricklaying.

Near enough every trade, and then I got into roofing.

That went well, but I'm now out of work.

Andy lives in Bromley, Kent...

-Crisps, boys.

-..with doting mum Debbie.

There you go. Tuck in, boys.

Andy and I are very close. We always have a giggle.

I would say he is the prankster and the comedian.

Cheeky, but hasn't got a bad bone in his body.

I'm quite laid-back.

I've got a very good rapport with Andy and with the boys,

so they're not really sneaking around.

They're just being themselves when they're with me at home.

Andrew? Cup of tea?

He's got a very soft side when it comes to animals.

We had a baby bird stuck on a branch in the garden the other day. Andy's up there.

He wouldn't necessarily want his mates to know,

but he actually would like to have been a zookeeper, I think.

He'd have liked the penguins.

But will this experience open her eyes to a different side to Andy?

Are you all right? 'I don't want to see'

scenes of them vomiting.

-Are you going to get up in a minute?

-I will, yeah.

As long as they don't show themselves up really badly

and embarrass us that much, that's my main concern, to be honest.

-Your spending money.

-Sweet.

-£50. Make it eke out.

-50 quid? You're joking!

-All right?

Give Mummy kiss, for the spending money.

Cheers, Mother.

Mum Debbie split from Andy's dad when he was little,

and stepdad Dave has been part of the family for the past ten years.

Hopefully, when he comes back from Malia, I'd like to see him

mature a bit, think on his feet,

see him in a situation whereby he acts responsibly.

Everyone wants to see their kid grow up and do the right thing

and become an adult, a responsible adult.

It's a boys' holiday. Boys will be boys.

What happens on holiday stays on holiday. THEY CHEER

-Have a great time.

-Will do. See you later.

-We'll see you in a week or so.

-See you later.

-See you, Olls.

-Be careful.

-That's it.

I'm never coming back!

Yeah, I think you might be seeing us very soon.

The teenagers are heading to the picturesque Greek island of Crete.

# Ooh, ahh, Malia Say ooh, ahh, Malia! #

Home to party town Malia.

With more than 100 bars and nightclubs up for grabs,

over 35,000 people descend on the infamous strip every week,

looking for sun, sea, sex and booze.

Fresh off the plane and ready to join the party are the Bromley boys,

and they waste no time setting the agenda for the night.

Tonight is not about birds. It's about getting on one.

We've put a score in each, £20.

Whoever shags the most birds takes the 80 quid at the end of the week.

Bearing in mind my 20's a fake note, but...

We're still all in.

There's no stopping these boys. With their suitcases still

on the bus, Bill has already spied an opportunity.

-It's her birthday!

-It's your birthday?

-Happy birthday!

-Thank you!

Andy's sharing with best mate Bill...

In a bit.

..whilst Joe is shacking up with Olly.

-Finally here, ready to go out, get out of our nuts.

-Smash it.

Got to get the aftershave out, haven't we?

Spray me up. Good boy.

You got the key?

Never leave me in charge of the key.

-Let's go, boys.

-Wahey!

Hurray! We're going to get the sauce here.

The boys head out for their first taste of Malia nightlife.

Flaming nutters.

Flaming nutters!

Whilst Olly and Joe get the first drinks in,

Casanova Bill is in heaven.

It's going off! There's birds everywhere!

The competition, who can pull the most?

You know how it is. It'll be sick.

Malia's unreal. It's unstoppable!

# Ooh, ahh, Malia Say ooh, ahh, Malia! #

Adina and the girls are staying at the quieter end of town.

Wow!

We're here.

Right, see you.

-Adina is sharing with childhood friend Lauren.

-There we go.

It's boiling!

Oh, it's got an oven.

-Honey, I'm home!

-And flatmates Mica...

-Put your card in.

-Oh.

..and Lizzie are in the room next door.

Look how beautiful it is!

The girls waste no time...

What about in there?

..in hitting the strip.

# Ooh, ahh, Malia! #

At the other end of town, the boys are ripping up the dancefloor.

The best thing is you're free to do what you want, with your best mates, partying.

The birds will hopefully start flocking in.

You can't go wrong. Fucking love it. Mustard.

Andy's top priority are girls, and it looks like his luck might be in.

To the window!

And with protective Mum out of the picture tonight,

Adina's got only one thing on her mind.

-Do you love me?

-Boys.

I imagined Adina meeting some boys

and leaving her friends on their own.

And that's what's happened.

That one were gorgeous!

She goes out with the thought, "I'm going to pull."

And if she doesn't pull, it's an unsuccessful night.

I've not known her to go out and not pull.

But the lads out in Malia have a unique way of getting girls

to notice them.

I like to get attention from lads when I'm out.

I like to dance with a few and that.

I like jumping up on the pole and stuff

and probably making an idiot out of myself but I think I look sexy,

when I've been drinking.

It doesn't take long for Adina to find her first target,

and there's no stopping her.

Adina snogged someone. I don't know who he was, but he wasn't very pretty.

She can do better.

He was just, like, all right.

He was quite good-looking, but he weren't normally my type.

But he went in for the kill, so I was on it.

I think the week is going to be amazing.

Everything's going well.

I'm on it to vomit.

It's 5am and hours of boozing means there's only one way

the night's going to end for Andy.

What do you like?

Margarita, mate.

At the local takeaway joint.

That looks nice.

-Do you want a bite?

-No, I've had some already. I was starving.

Still searching for the girl of his dreams, Andy's struggling

to impress the ladies.

And then you curl it up and then all in one. Go on. Do it!

-You go first.

-Go on. No, you're the lad. Have it.

Way!

I love it.

Tonight, I must admit, as a first night,

it's been fucking... It's gone red-hot, really... It has gone very well.

So basically, at the end of the day, I'm here to have a good fun.

In just a few hours, Andy and Adina's parents will be flying out

to Malia to secretly watch what their teenagers get up to.

I'm sure they're going to show us up, slightly.

Hopefully not too much.

But they're teenagers, and what goes on holiday

they would like to think stays on holiday, but in this case,

I think it might be not quite the case.

I'm feeling OK at the moment.

A bit apprehensive, but I think now I'm packing my case

and kind of getting used to things,

the actual reality that I'm going to Malia and Adina's going to be there

and she doesn't know is actually getting a little bit exciting.

I said the first night was just to get pissed out of your head.

-I think I've got ten out of ten for that.

-Yeah.

It's mid afternoon and after a failed night with the opposite sex,

Andy and friends have finally emerged.

I'm going to try and be sensible tonight

and not get as pissed as I did last night.

I'm going to try and remember a night for once.

It don't normally happen for me.

Unemployed Andy was given spending money by his parents,

but his first big night out has already put a large dent in it.

I done £160 last night.

It's just so easily done, but my mum and Dave have sorted me right out.

They lent me 500 quid. I wouldn't be...I'd be here, but with no money otherwise.

So they sorted me right out. They didn't have to do it.

Thanks, Mum. Cheers, Dave.

At the airport, Andy's parents have just arrived.

Hello.

And they're about to meet Adina's mum, Justine.

How lovely to meet you.

Justine's brought along sister Joanne for moral support.

I'm Auntie Jo, so I know Adina inside out as well.

Shall we get on the bus?

Let's get on the bus.

Let's get to the bar.

After you. Thank you.

I think one of the things I'm a bit worried about seeing is,

I don't want to see any sex.

Don't want to see her instigating it.

I don't mind the boy instigating it.

But do you think that's in her nature? She wouldn't do that?

Yeah, it is. I've seen her do it and I dragged her off the guy.

I was really upset about it.

Tell you what, and I know it'll be the boys, not so much the girls,

but it's the language.

Adina and the girls are getting ready for their second night of partying.

We're watching boxing.

Why are we watching boxing?

We like to watch boys getting aggressive.

That's what I like, anyway.

And they're not the only ones watching tonight's boxing match.

Unfortunately for the teenagers,

the parents are heading straight for them.

And to get to their hotel, they'll have to drive right past.

Look at all the bars and things. It looks really exciting, doesn't it? I am a bit jealous.

I want to go onto the strip in Malia!

# Ooh, ah, Malia I said, ooh-ah, Malia! #

If the parents are spotted by any of the teenagers, it's game over.

This takes me back to my youth.

Absolutely.

With Andy and the boys focused on the fight,

they've no idea Debbie and Dave are just around the corner.

You're looking for two dark-haired boys and two blonde.

Andy is...

Andy will be sort of chatting and gangly.

And chatting and demonstrative like his mother.

There's a pub here.

He's sitting down there!

Where?

Sitting there, look.

There's Olly in the stripy shirt.

Look! They're watching the fight, look!

Oh, yeah - the fight's on!

-Who's winning, son?

-Who's winning?

Oh, that's fantastic.

You've seen him now.

Look behind.

Bored of the boxing,

Adina and her friends have found other ways of amusing themselves.

I wonder what she's doing. What will she be doing?

What do you think?

God, I feel like horrible, nasty, evil old Mum.

Don't worry. Hold my hand.

No!

-Has it not fucked you up, that tequila?

-Slightly, yeah.

I feel sick.

I can see her. She's got her hair down, curly, blonde hair.

-Yeah.

-There she is!

Oh, my God! I'm shaking.

Don't shake.

I saw her. Back there?

-Yeah.

-That was brilliant!

Oh, that was really good.

I really liked that.

How do you feel now?

Rubbish! How do you feel?

I feel all right.

I feel worse! At least you know she's all right, she's safe.

-I'm pleased that we've seen them and they're safe.

-They're safe.

I was so nervous about seeing her and when I saw her beautiful,

blonde hair, I was really shaking.

I got a bit upset, because this has all been a bit surreal

and I actually know she's actually here. I've seen my baby.

We're in the same country, it's, like, mad.

Andy being the character he is, it's going to be hilarious.

And I think we're really looking forward to it, aren't we?

With a little bit of trepidation.

# Let's go fucking mental! Na-na na-na, hey! #

Having had little luck with the ladies,

Andy and Olly are on the strip and searching for their friends,

but there's no sign of them.

Bit annoyed. Fucking...meant to be all here together.

It's only me and Olly standing here because the other two have ducked.

That's about it, really. Now we've come to the end of the night, I'm a bit annoyed, like I said earlier.

We're going to go home and sleep on it and hopefully sort it all out in the morning.

For the second night in a row, Andy goes home alone.

But at 5am, Bill and Joe arrive at the hotel.

Tonight we've managed to pull ourselves a couple of creamers.

A couple of birds from the hotel.

From our own hotel. They're waiting in the lobby.

Always something to come back to.

Only half an hour later,

there's been an incident in the boys' hotel.

He's a fucking idiot, don't tell me.

Just as things were going well for Joe and Bill,

somebody has set off a fire extinguisher into their room.

They open it for fun. the boys in 216.

Leaving the hotel manager to sort things out, Andy and Olly,

the prime suspects, have run off into the night.

Whoever done it came to our door,

knocked on the door, so I went and opened the door...

You should see the floor in my room, it just covered the whole room.

-I had to run out of the back door.

-And who was it?

Honesty, this isn't just because it's my mates, hand on heart,

I didn't see who it was. I couldn't see a thing.

The smoke was straight in my face and eyes. I had to close my eyes.

The parents are about to get the chance to see exactly

what their teenagers have been up to.

I'm really worried about it.

I don't want her making a fool of herself.

I don't want her hurting herself,

being irresponsible.

I would like to think she has a bit of control.

They'll be watching footage on a monitor of Andy and Adina's holiday so far.

I'm hoping what we'll see will reflect a lot on the way

he's been brought up.

That's what I'm hoping.

I know lads are going to be lads, but I'm not overly keen on hearing it.

Look at him. He's absolutely...

That's clubbing. That's what they're going to do.

Ooh, look!

Oh! Bill!

Oh, my goodness!

-They're dancing away, having a great time.

-That's good.

He looks like he's having a laugh. I'm fine with that.

I'm dreading this, what's going to come?

I wonder who they are. Oh, dear.

Oh!

-Stop it!

-That's horrible.

I don't like that.

I don't like it, either.

-Oh no, she's running away, look.

-No, that's disgusting.

Disgusting. No, I don't like that.

I don't like that.

-I didn't like that, did you?

-I didn't like it.

I just think...

I never behaved like that when I used to go out at that age.

It's horrible.

I just think that's...

-I just didn't like it.

-Crude.

Oh, hang on.

What's this?

Some kind of dancefloor.

Oh, fucking hell.

I can't watch this shit. I'm sorry.

She's not doing anything.

Justine, she's not doing anything.

She doesn't like the hands on the bum, I don't think.

She's Mum, it's understandable.

But she's not doing anything.

'No, I'm not happy at all.

'I don't like it.'

-The first shots were OK.

-I don't like it. Full stop.

-What, watching her?

-I don't like it.

I think there's a difference between boys and girls, in the respect

of their holiday mode and how you feel about their behaviour.

I can understand from Justine's point of view, bless her heart,

she had a little meltdown.

You're just a little bit more worried about the girls. That's basically it.

Following last night's incident with the fire extinguisher,

a cleanup operation is in full swing at Andy's hotel.

Things went from bad to worse.

I let the fire extinguisher off into their room.

It was a bit silly, but it's been done.

I didn't actually know, what one was it?

-Dust.

-Dust. I thought it was water or foam.

I was gonna literally spray 'em for a second.

If I knew it was that, I wouldn't have done it.

I only done it for a laugh.

Everyone getting well into it.

I apologise. What has been done is done.

But it's too late for apologies, as the hotel manager

has thrown the boys out, leaving tensions running high within the group.

I can't fucking believe you, boy.

-That's by far the most shittiest thing you ever fucking done, you know that, don't ya?

-One of 'em.

No, definitely not one of them. By far the shittiest thing you've ever done. Hands down.

He don't think, he just does stuff and look where it's ended up,

us kicked out.

The boys trek across town to a new hotel

and it's time to clear the air.

Andy got jealous because me and Bill got it in.

And he didn't.

Took the words outta my mouth!

I said I'm sorry for what I've done

and it's not going to happen again.

I was being a...

Blame the alcohol, as you could say.

So other than that, let's get on with Malia.

Andy always does stuff like that, because it's just the way he is.

He acts on impulse.

Doesn't think before he does.

He's not proud of what he done.

He's genuinely sorry.

So...

No point dragging it on and having the hump with him.

May as well get on with the holiday.

Adina and the girls are looking for some excitement

and they think they've found it,

as they're going for an exhilarating ride on a banana boat.

But today, there's two very special spectators.

Concerned about the footage she saw earlier,

Justine is keen to get a closer look at her daughter in action.

I can't wait to see Adina on a banana boat.

But yeah, going to be fab!

Adina has no idea that Justine

and Joanne are a short distance away watching her every move.

She's really excited. I'm scared.

I don't want to get thrown in the water.

Oh, I can see them!

I'm getting excited now.

This is a brilliant spot down here, I'm loving it.

Oh.

Has she got good eyesight?

Oh, it's fantastic seeing her.

There they go.

You can hear them!

That's brilliant.

-They look like they're laughing and giggling.

-They're really close, now.

You can see without the binoculars anyway.

They just pushed each other in, the cheeky things!

Great.

I have palpitations. That was great, wasn't it?

Spying on Adina is allowing overprotective mother Justine

a chance to see her daughter in a new light.

It's really good seeing Adina being so confident

and getting on with stuff on her own.

She's really growing up. It's weird to see.

I knew, but to see it, it's different,

because when she's at home, she's still so dependent on me.

I bet she's not even thought about me.

I've only had one text.

The boys are out, hitting it hard, and for once, are sticking together.

Nut him. Nut him!

The lads together, how we really should be.

It's been good. Seriously, it's been something.

Saving money, Adina, Lauren, Lizzie and Mica are topping up on booze

back at their hotel, and they're on to their favourite subject.

I can't hold boys down.

Mica, she'll meet a guy and within two weeks, it's like serious

and she's going to marry him and everything.

For me, everything is just casual.

I don't even realise though that it's serious, like.

We're just texting.

I don't think that's serious.

I want to have a relationship Monday to Thursday.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday, we'll have a break from each other.

That's what I'd like. That'd be perfect.

When I go out, I go out with the intention to pull, so I think

if I went out in a relationship, I would be like, why am I going out?

What's the point?

That's the only reason I go near loads of lads is

because I want to feel loved.

After a night of excess, Adina is still single,

and she's not happy about it.

I'm going to strip off on the beach.

I'm going to take everything off apart from my knickers.

Adina is bladdered.

But she's still standing.

I'm going to swim and I hope Romeo's there

because I want him to swim with me.

Take him to the sea and I'm humping him.

-You're so disgusting!

-No, but if he's there, he's getting it.

In true Adina style, en route to the beach,

she's picked up some new male friends.

Do you want to go in the sea?

-Or are you too scared?

-I'm too scared.

-Are you?

Oh my God, I'm soaking!

-Where is Lauren?

-Here.

I'm soaking wet!

-Shall we take everything off?

-Just sit in the water.

It doesn't matter now, does it?

Oh, no!

It was lovely. So warm.

It's nice. I swallowed a load of salt water.

I swallowed loads of salt water.

Where's my bag?

Where's my bag? Oh, it's there.

What time is it?

At 4am, Adina calls it a night.

The parents are getting ready to watch more footage

of the teenagers' antics, but after reacting badly

to the first viewing, Justine is feeling nervous.

I'm finding it difficult to watch the clips of Adina.

I don't know why.

I'm finding it really emotional.

I think I'm a bit afraid of what I'm going to see.

-She's in the sea.

-Who's that, Adina?

-Yes.

She just fell in the sea.

I know. I can see.

-Where is Lauren?

-I'm here.

-I'm soaking wet! Shall we take everything off?

Justine, you have to watch it, or you can't comment.

I don't need you to tell me that, thank you. All right?

I'll do what I want.

She's just pissed out of her brain, as usual.

I can't be arsed, know what I mean?

It does my head in. All the time, you don't have to live with it.

I think she was too inebriated.

She's had a drink, but she's not mad, like, off her face.

And they're only in shallow water!

Justine acts the way she does

because she loves Adina to pieces.

They're so close.

I don't think Justine realised how she'd feel watching it back.

I think it shocked her.

Cos she was drunk I was worried about her being in the sea

and drowning, really.

I just didn't want to watch her. I didn't want to watch anything.

I don't want to know.

-Who's that man?

-That must be the manager or something.

They opened for fun, the boys in 216.

Oh.

-What happened to the fire extinguisher?

-I let it off.

I let the fire extinguisher off into their room.

That was a bit silly, but it's been done now.

Oh.

-Silly boy.

-What a wally.

He's been honest. I'll give him that.

He's probably feeling a bit of a wally.

Yes.

I'll have a word with him about that.

Fire extinguisher. Not too happy about that.

Not the kind of thing that I've brought him up to do, however,

they're boys being boys, but hopefully he'll have learned his lesson

and that won't happen again.

Andy has decided to get a tattoo to remind him of his time in Malia.

-All right.

-All right.

-What can I do for you?

He wants a tattoo on his arse.

But sharing the memories with him will be mum Debbie and stepdad Dave.

They've hidden themselves in the flat above the tattoo parlour

and will be watching everything on a monitor.

They're just right below us now.

-What can I do for you?

-He wants a tattoo on his arse.

-What you want?

-I want "top bloke".

Top bloke?

"Top" and then "bloke".

-Top bloke.

-That's all right.

-Can you write it for me?

-Yeah.

Spell it right, Andy, for crying out loud.

Top.

Top bloke, like that.

It's a close call for Mum and Dave

as Andy steps outside to calm his nerves.

He's right down there.

-Just there.

-He's there.

-Don't lift your hand up!

-Are you nervous, Andy?

-No.

Sweet. I have already had one. I know the pain.

It's a jarring pain.

It's a bit like...

But then it's sweet.

Yeah.

I couldn't have that done because I hate needles.

In fact, I would struggle to watch that.

Yeah, about there.

At least it's covered. It's not on his forehead.

Oh, that's all right.

That's all right, isn't it?

Give me slaps.

Wahey!

It's going to kill!

Watch his face!

It's smudged a bit.

He's got "pot bloke," now.

The bloke's dyslexic!

At least he's being sensible enough...

He's had it somewhere hidden.

-It's not affecting any jobs he's going to go for.

-Exactly.

If he wants to join the police force or something like that.

Like that's going to happen!

I don't think he'll become a fireman now!

Stop it!

I wouldn't like it.

All done. You can stand up.

-Oh, it's all done.

-He's all finished.

Did it hurt?

Yeah.

-Top bloke, mate.

-It's actually very subtle.

Done it now, mate.

-You're officially a top bloke.

-Cheers, mate.

I did get a bit of a palpitation because it was close.

I thought it was great!

I didn't think I would get that feeling.

-It's weird.

-No, you obviously don't want to get caught, do you?

Especially at this stage of the game.

I think it went very well. I think it looks quality.

I am now officially a top bloke.

Missing her son, Debbie decides to risk a phone call.

-Hello, Mother.

-How are you doing, love?

Have you not heard from anyone what has happened?

No, what's happened? Don't tell me anything bad has happened.

You could say that. I went on a rampage with a fire extinguisher!

Oh, Andy, for God's sake.

-Where are you?

-We're in France!

Gary, Dave's business partner,

you know the boat he's got down at Chichester? He said, do you know what?

They're going off to St Malo, so basically, we're in France now.

We're having a really good time.

Probably be back in a couple of days' time.

We're just playing it by ear. I'm glad you're having a good time.

I told my mum about when I went on a...

mad one with a fire extinguisher, and, yeah, she went,

"Oh, what are you like?"

She said, behave yourself from now on.

She knows what I'm like.

My mates would tell her. She's a cushty mother.

I've got a really good rapport with Andy.

-We've good got a really good relationship, haven't we?

-Yes.

And the deception side, I am struggling with.

I'm well excited. I'm dead excited.

The girls are getting ready for another night on the town.

But lying in wait in the back of a car,

parked right outside the hotel, are mum Justine and auntie Joanne.

I hope she doesn't see us.

After last night, Justine is hoping to see a calmer side to Adina.

I feel like I'm on a stakeout or something.

I'm going to have to have something to pick me up a little bit. I'm tired.

When they walk past, they could just see us now.

I'm hoping that they're too full of themselves and looking at boys.

Oh, that was really close, then.

Look through there. Look through there. Go on.

-I see boys.

-Get down, Justine.

Turn around.

I don't feel like I've even seen her.

It's weird, because it's surreal.

It's nice that she's happy and she's safe.

Content that her daughter is doing fine,

Justine and Joanne head home for bed.

But Adina is far from fine,

as four nights of living it up take their toll.

I feel sick.

I need water!

Are you OK?

-I've got it all over my legs.

-Where?

Is that better?

I need to take...

-I'm soaking wet in sick.

-Are you OK?

Do you feel better after being sick?

Why did somebody give me Sambuca?

After failing to find a girl all week, Andy is on a mission.

I might just throw that in.

And he even teaches the boys his top trick to pull the ladies.

Looking for freedom, independence and babes,

the boys are heading to one of the biggest nightclubs in town.

And so are Andy's parents.

Debbie and Dave are sneaking in through the back entrance

and will be watching everything from the manager's office upstairs.

It is hard to believe that he's just the other side of that.

Yeah, it's a little bit surreal.

No, Joe!

Joe! He's pursing his lips!

Joe!

He'll get crucified for that.

She's putting spots all over him.

He's just got rid of them!

But it'll take more than a few neon spots to put Andy off his stride.

There's a few more girls showing their interest.

She looks older than him, doesn't she?

He's loving the attention, though.

I don't know how they can do this all night, do you?

It looks great out there and I'm truly gutted I'm not there.

We'd have some of that, wouldn't we?

He's a Casanova, isn't he?

Oi!

A bit of tonsil tennis.

Tonsil tennis!

Pack it in, Dave.

-I don't know who's more hungry.

-Her, I think!

-I'm just jealous now. I want to get down there.

-Are you?

-Yeah!

-I'd last five minutes.

Yeah, you'd be there, Debs, giving it some of that.

No, I'm more your Earth, Wind And Fire girl.

After Debbie and Dave head home, Joe gets some female attention.

And Andy's luck is finally in.

After lagging behind the other boys in the pulling stakes,

it looks like two buses have come at once.

I pulled this...nice sort, everything was going well, she said, "I've got to find my mate."

She said, "have you ever had a threesome?"

Everything's going well.

# Sex on the beach Come on, move your body... #

I'm over the moon for Andy. He's finally pulled himself a bird.

Good luck to him.

Andy has managed to pull himself two girls.

Fair play to him.

He's gone off and, yeah, it looks like he's got himself a threesome.

But the hapless romantic has got distracted.

I don't know where she's gone.

That's what I mean, I don't know where she is.

He's lost his bird. I told him to stay with her.

He didn't stay with her, and he's lost her.

What a rookie! Schoolboy error.

Not giving up on love,

Andy heads off into the night to look for his girl.

It's late afternoon

and the boys are catching up on last night's conquests.

I was like, Andy, you ain't going to find her.

Let's go back.

He was well upset.

I was fuming! I couldn't live with myself.

Just walking back to the hotel, we see these two birds.

One was all right, one was a bit of a heifer.

Started talking to them, and pulled it out the bag.

I just walloped two birds.

# Hallelujah! #

So you're both top blokes, like?

-Yeah!

-Fair fucking play.

Across town, Adina is suffering.

Loving her new-found freedom, she's pushed herself

and her body to the limit.

Last night we went to the Lush bar and I was sick

because I had Sambuca, and I should have learned by now

not to have it, but it was free and I can't say no to a free shot.

And for Adina's friends, there's one woman looming in the shadows.

Justine has never seen Adina like that on a night out.

They've been on nights out together but I don't think Adina

would do anything like that in front of her mum.

But... So I don't know how Justine is going to make of it.

But on this holiday, there's no hiding,

as the parents are about to see exactly what the teenagers have been up to.

Basically I pulled this...nice sort.

Everything was going well and she went,

"Oh, no, I got to find my mate. Have you ever had a threesome?"

This is a classic boys' holiday.

So, yeah, everything's going well...

# Sex on the beach Come on, move your body! #

A girl instigated it!

-Hey-ho.

-Oh, my goodness me!

-What man ain't going to say no?

-You're just jealous.

-THEY LAUGH

I'm nervous.

I feel sick!

-I don't like her being poorly.

-No...

They don't have to show that.

-Oh, what you like?

-Sorry.

Oh...

Oh!

Adina!

-Who's that? Mica?

-Mica.

She's looking after her, isn't she?

That's why I don't have Sambuca and shit!

I just didn't like that big pouring out waterfall thing.

Just that big....

I think she'll be devastated.

It's not something that everyone wants to see, obviously,

that your daughter's being sick because of alcohol, it's not nice.

I like that the girls were looking after her as well, that made me feel reassured.

Obviously whatever she had didn't agree with her, so...

Tomorrow the parents will reveal themselves to the teenagers.

For their last night, Adina and the girls are heading to a club.

But they're not the only ones hitting the strip,

because tonight Justine and Joanne are coming too.

Whooooo!

MALIA!

They're hiding themselves away in the manager's office

just below the dance floor,

Watching everything live as it happens.

Upstairs, the girls waste no time in getting into the party spirit.

Adina looks lovely. Her hair's beautiful.

-So blonde.

-Look at the spirals.

She's got her Adina necklace on... Oh!

That's your me.

But the initial excitement of seeing Adina quickly wears off for protective mum Justine.

You're turning me on!

God, she's fucking pissed out of her brain. It's horrible, man.

I don't like watching it.

-I can't stand it.

-I know.

It's disgusting.

Them eyes are just disgraceful, it's horrible.

Not impressed.

# No, no, no, no, no. #

Oh, eh, up.

Oh, she's found a fella. She's dancing.

Oh, my God.

-She's wiggling her bum.

-She's wiggling her bum, bent right over like...

-Gyrating.

-..from behind.

-Oh, my gosh.

-She's just dancing!

-Oh, they told her off.

-Oh! She could've banged her head then.

-Oh, she's back on the pole now.

-Oh, my God she's up on the podium.

-Oh!

-She's just fallen and banged her head.

See, that's dangerous, Joanne.

-I know it is.

-It's not good.

They're laughing at her being so drunk, I'm not.

I'll tell you now -

when we get home, there's a new rule in our house.

She ain't drinking under my roof.

This is just appalling behaviour.

It was horrible that, for me to watch, as a mum.

-She didn't even look like she was having a good time.

-She just didn't look...

She didn't know what... She'll not remember a thing tomorrow.

Do you know, a few weeks ago she went out and said after,

"D'you know, Mum, I didn't drink last night. I had two drinks and I had a wicked night,

"much better and I remember everything."

-Yeah.

-Tomorrow she'll go, "Oh, I don't remember nothing...oh."

-D'you know what I mean? She'll be gutted!

-Yeah.

I think we're going to be having a few rules now.

I have to be honest, I think seeing me drinking a lot as well...

I'm not an alcoholic, I don't drink incessantly, but I have a few glasses of wine in the week.

And seeing me drinking isn't a good influence on her, as I've just seen,

so I think I'm going to change that, definitely when I get home.

It's really made me think about it and realise it's not good. Not good.

I'm not being a good role model to her.

Andy and Adina's holiday is drawing to a close.

And their time on the island of Crete has given them a chance to reflect on their future.

Back home I've done so many different jobs, I haven't stuck really with one.

When it comes to things like this, this is definitely much more me.

Working abroad just in the sun permanently, talking, meeting new,

different people, I think that's a dream job for me, really.

I'd obviously love to stay out here, but I haven't got much money.

Obviously I'll go home, get working and start saving from scratch.

Come out here early, sort myself out.

Pay a first month's rent and then just crack on for the summer.

This week has been absolutely amazing.

I've had the best time ever.

This is like, kind of a mid-point for me.

I always think of myself as being a kid,

but like, I'm kind of leaving the nest and growing up.

So this has been quite good for me getting used to being independent.

I haven't done anything too outrageous for people to go, "Oh..."

Other than the fire extinguisher... But I think, I should start growing up a bit, but...

It's just the way I am, I'm always up for a little joke...doing stupid things, but...

I will start growing up soon...definitely.

Adina and the girls are at their favourite bar

sampling the classic fishbowl.

I was smashed out my face.

-I think that's the most drunk I've been, last night.

-You only had two fishbowls.

I drank a bottle of schnapps at home.

It's finally time for Justine and Joanne to reveal themselves.

-All right. A bit nervous.

-A bit nervous.

And tell Adina exactly what they've been up to all week.

The whole thought of it has made me feel ill all week.

-The tension.

-The tension is...

-I do feel a bit sick now, love.

-I can see her.

-I feel a bit sick now.

Adina...

Adina, turn around.

Sorry.

What...?

-Sorry.

-Why are you saying sorry?

Are you having a nice holiday?

Don't cry!

Last night, Adina, you looked terrible.

-Last night was just...

-I looked?!

-Terrible.

-I

-didn't even want to watch you last night, love.

-We had to turn it off.

I just found it so hard, Adina. I seen you being sick.

It's not because I drank so much, it were cos I had Sambuca

and that's what makes me feel sick.

Like when you have Grey Goose?

Yeah.

We saw a boy with his hands on your bum.

Don't you remember?

-He weren't your usual.

-We weren't impressed with that.

-He were mingin'.

-I know.

Have you had a good time though? I've not ruined it for you, have I?

No...stop crying!

ALL LAUGH

I didn't want to ruin it for you.

Don't cry, please, it's embarrassing!

With the secret out, Justine and Joanne take the girls for dinner.

INDISTINCT TOAST

I think this week has made me learn to trust Adina a bit more.

I think I can relax a bit more when she's going out

with boys and alcohol.

Well done, Di, really proud of you.

I have drunk a lot, but I've not done anything drastic

what you'd say, "Oh, you can't drink again cos you done something really stupid."

I haven't, I've just had a good time, like everybody else.

Back in town, Debbie and Dave are preparing to reveal themselves to Andy.

A few days ago, Andy had questioned exactly where his parents were.

As the boys have a few drinks at their hotel bar,

they have no idea that Debbie and Dave are just around the corner.

-Feeling a bit nervous.

-Well, obviously we're concerned about...

-I don't want to upset Andy.

-I think he'll be all right.

-I'm sure he'll be fine.

-It's just obviously we're concerned at his reaction, that's all it is.

Yeah, cos obviously we're not trying...

We are not out there to embarrass him at all.

-Cheers, Helen.

-Cheers, boys.

-Take care.

-You too.

-Thank you.

-Enjoy the rest of your holidays.

Cheers, Helen.

So with Debbie and Dave nervous about Andy's reaction,

how will he cope with the shock of his life?

-I'm sorry!

-What are you doing?

-I'm sorry.

-What are you doing, Mum?

-Fuck that, don't get all that in my face.

-Don't be silly, mate.

Not at all, she's fucking mugging off in front of thousands of people.

-No, not at all.

-Don't be silly, mate.

-What the fuck? What's going on?

-Andy, Andy, listen. You've had a good time.

-I don't give a fuck.

-We've not done anything to embarrass you.

-Fucking thousands of people are watching.

-You'll make yourself look a fool by losing your rag.

-Do you think I wanted to do this?

Obviously you did cos you wouldn't have fucking come out here, would ya? Oh, fuck off, Mum.

And you, Dave. Fuck yourself. Are you taking the fucking piss?!

The realisation that his parents have watched him all week is too much for Andy,

and he feels particularly let down by his mum.

-No, cos I told you from the start as well.

-Calm down.

I'm not fucking calming down.

-Please...

-Andy, just do me a favour, can we have a chat, just me and you?

Fuck off.

After last night's dramatic events,

stepdad Dave reflects on Andy's reaction.

Since the reveal, I think if you see his reaction,

obviously he was very surprised at that.

I think it was embarrassment more than anything else.

Obviously Debbie's very upset, as I am.

We don't like seeing him like that,

obviously it leaves a bad taste in his mouth

that he's kicked off the way he has.

It's been eight weeks since they were in Malia and back home,

Andy's had time to reflect on his holiday.

Since we've been back,

to be honest everything's kind of blown over now, got back to reality.

Come back off holiday...

I would say I've lost the tan, but I don't tan anyway!

It was a little bit of a struggle for the first few weeks.

-A bit fraught.

-I have to admit, it was fraught.

It took a while for Andy to forgive.

I'm not normally like that at all.

I am honestly normally a nice fella.

I literally just done that cos I'd had enough.

I was just so annoyed with my mum actually being there, on my holiday making me look like a div,

but the whole experience, not going to lie, was banging.

Best holiday of my life. It was different, never going to happen again,

if I do look like a wally, I look like a wally for an hour or so.

I still get on with my mum now. I suppose I have to let her off now everything's kind of blown over.

Things are back to normal.

He cannot be cross with Mum for too long.

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