Episode 5 Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents

This programme contains strong language.

Your first holiday with your mates.

6,000 miles away from home to Thailand,

where booze comes in buckets,

boys will be boys and girls may be boys too.

I've seen one of their willies.

A baptism of fire, far from the glaring eyes of mum and dad.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

Except in this case, the parents have come along too.

Spying on the sly...

Oh, my God, I can see him, he's..

..secretly watching their every move.

-Oh, jeez.

-Drop.

But as the youngsters stumble merrily down the fast lane to independence...

Go away.

Look at the state of him.

You've just got to give me a minute.

..one way or another, someone is about to get...

Is that you doing that?

..the shock of their lives.

Why are you here?

I'm not doing it.

Let's go. Oh, God!

Coming up, two young and up-for-it kids

head out on their first ever friends holiday away from mum and dad,

to the distant island of Phuket in Thailand.

But will pampered girl Jo...

Feel a bit sad.

..manage to cope away from home on the wild streets of Patong...

I think I've seen one of their willies.

..without her mollycoddling mum to help her along?

No, Jo, don't, no, no.

And can Geordie student John...

What happens in Thailand stays in Thailand.

..prove he's really as independent as he thinks?

And will it all end in tears?

Right, deep breath.

Carefree mummy's girl Jo...

Mum, have you seen my scarf?

..is preparing for her first ever girls' holiday.

Mum, have you see my grey shorts?

Jo lives at home in Bristol with her mum Julie, step-dad Rob,

and big sister Louise.

And she loves nothing more than taking it easy.

I'm definitely not mollycoddled by my mum at all.

Well, to some certain extent.

Jo, haven't you forgotten something?

Yeah.

Sun cream.

Whilst mum Julie lets Jo get away with doing nothing,

step-dad Rob tries to be more authoritative.

I do get a little bit angry sometimes that she's not pulling her weight.

Just lift them higher, Jo.

And this can cause friction.

We had a rocky stage with Jo where the evil step-father

and wouldn't let her do this, etc.

I will clean if I'm told to but my mum's

so precise about everything, if I did it,

it wouldn't be right anyway so I don't see the point.

I wouldn't dream of doing 90% of the things that you do for her.

Bit higher.

But I like doing it, though, because I'm the mummy.

Jo only really comes to life when out partying.

I do tend to drink quite a lot when I go out, I think

it's because it takes me more to get drunk, I'm just..

I'm one of those people.

Jo, you've got your shoes on again on the sofa.

Something her parents don't get to see.

-I don't think we hear 90%...

-No.

..of what Jo would get up to.

It's not just the night out,

-it's seeing Jo coping without you being around.

-Yeah.

I don't know if my mum knows how much I drink.

She probably, if she saw me in a club going up to the bar as many times

as I do, she'd probably think, "Why is she going up to the bar so much?

"She doesn't need all that."

Julie missed out on the partying lifestyle as a young mum.

There is a little bit of me, the little wild side of Julie

that almost wants to sort of do what Jo's doing.

I'm dead jealous, really, of what is going on,

wished I could have done that with my friends at the time.

So you want Jo to do what you couldn't.

Yeah, pretty much, yeah, yeah.

Just think, when we're drunk, when we're out there dancing,

I wonder whether people are going to be dancing,

we'll probably be so much more embarrassing.

Raving along with Jo to Thailand are her best friends Shaz and Natalie.

That is like my signature move.

Jo, you're like proper, like...

-I'll miss you.

-Mum!

-I will, I'll miss you, Jo.

-Oh, Mum.

Mum Julie may be jealous of Jo's partying,

but she is also struggling to let go.

I think it probably is time to cut the apron strings from Jo.

I think she needs to be a bit more wise to the world.

Oi, are they condoms?

They're not condoms. I swear, they're not.

Going to Thailand is Jo's first chance to escape

from her over-protective mum.

I'm sure they're a nice race, though.

And you need to respect the culture as well.

-Yeah, obviously.

-Because you've not been to a country like this before, have you?

Yeah, I do think that it'll be amazing

to be in a different country and getting drunk.

I will probably embarrass myself

but I'm not really that worried about it, to be fair.

I've got nothing to be ashamed of.

-What factor is that?

-Factor 30?

Oh, we're going to need like 50, not 30.

Julie and Rob are also heading to Thailand to check

if Jo really can stand on her own two feet.

I genuinely think that she will have to do it and she'll do it well,

because I think she's got a bit of me inside of her.

You may be disillusioned.

Also en route to Thailand is Geordie student

and self-styled ladies' man, John.

I would describe myself as a party animal,

loves to live in the moment,

enjoys the company of a woman every so often.

John lives at home with his mum Lisa and dad John Sr,

not that they see very much of him.

If you go into his room normally to have a chat,

"How's the day been, John?" "Shut my door."

That's all you get off him. "Shut my door, shut my door."

As a result, mum and dad feel they have lost touch with their son's life.

He's in his room most of the time.

He might come down and put a little bit of charm on for me

if he wants some money for a night out.

Begging for money is a sore point with his father.

The worst traits about John, I would say,

I don't think he understands the real world, you know.

At his age, I was sort of earning a wage and things like this

and bringing money into the household.

He's quite happy to take his pocket money and thinks an allowance

should be due to him without doing a huge amount of work in the house.

Is he independent?

He would say yes but I would have to say no.

Mum.

-Yeah?

-How do you work the oven?

Oh, you're joking, how many times have I showed you?

When it comes to girlfriends, the parents are also left in the dark.

I'd say we're totally clueless to his, you know,

relationships with girls at this time.

Usually choose arse over tits.

John's not the type of boy to have one night stands.

There has been a couple of times during sixth form

when I've had to pull a sickie for a quickie.

Joining John on the long trip to Thailand are his pulling mates.

Ginger wingman Heron.

I want to go to Thailand to get absolutely smashed.

And the unstoppable Carter.

Well, Newcastle's renowned for its slags, like,

but Thailand will take it to a new level.

How he's out when he's out with his friends,

I've got no idea whatsoever.

John does not confide in us one little bit.

He does not tell us anything.

If you meet any girls, I hope you respect them

and I hope that you stay safe, OK?

Make sure that you stay with your friends and that you don't..

-Are you listening?

-Yes.

That you don't leave anyone, OK?

That you go home together and that you look after each other's back.

OK? Promise?

Promise. Everything I'm going to do, you said don't.

Think he's ready for that freedom with his friends.

Yeah, but not ready to work to pay for it.

Right, make sure you stay safe.

For John's parents, going to Thailand is a chance to find out

what really goes on when they're not around.

We probably could never get this opportunity to see him,

what he's really like, what he's like with his friends

and, you know, just to see what the young man who we've brought up has become.

-You know, it's a real opportunity.

-And we hope that he takes on board

-the values that we've hopefully given him.

-Yep.

Back in Bristol, Jo is dying to depart on her epic journey away.

Be good.

Bye.

After the long goodbyes, the girls think they are finally free.

If only Jo knew the truth.

Watch out, Jo, the parents are coming.

Up on Tyneside, the Geordie boys are also hitting the road.

Enjoy yourselves, lads. Be good, stick together.

Little does John know, big John will be watching his every move.

See you soon, lads.

In a couple of days.

Patong, on the island of Phuket. A Thai paradise

and intense party town where everyone is invited

to get down and downright dirty.

A ping pong show!

And every night is a flashing neon cocktail of boozed-up fun

and frivolous behaviour.

Welcome to Thailand!

First to arrive are Jo, Shaz and Natalie.

Taxi time.

It's been a 24-hour booze-filled journey.

-We actually did get pissed on the plane.

-You got pissed on the plane.

I nearly left my ticket in the taxi, remember.

And then you walked off and just left it on the seat.

Oh, yeah.

With your passport and everything. I was like, "Jo!"

It's hot.

It seems the mix of tiredness and alcohol is taking its toll.

Oh, my God. Left my suitcases on the road. Oops.

I don't know how I'm trusted to go on holiday on my own,

I really don't, I need my mum.

Oh, my God.

Shaz and Natalie grab the best beds.

Do you know what, you're bitches, you're such bitches.

-But you've got a flower on yours.

-All right, all right.

And hit the minibar.

-Does anybody want a drink? Do you want a drink?

-Yes, please.

-Oh, my God, it's amazing.

-Oh, my God, this is amazing!

It's the girls' first holiday on their own

and they aren't quite familiar with how a mini-bar works.

-You have to pay for stuff out of the bar, don't you?

-What, that?

Why do they put it in there if you've got to pay for it?

Shall we start getting ready?

Oh, my God, they work.

As the girls freshen up, across town...

I'm liking this.

..the Geordie boys are also nearing their destination.

Like you say, I think it's a bit more like party feeling

than I thought it would, if you know what I mean.

It's already proving an eye-opening experience.

Is it safe to assume that the groups of not-so-dressed women

are prostitutes?

-We'll find out tomorrow, like.

-Going to find out tonight, mate.

After checking out the ladies, they're in a confident mood.

I'm thinking if you want to get maximum lad points tonight,

you'll have to try and pull someone, bring them back.

Whether or not you can bring them back or not,

it's just all about the effort that you try to put in, all right?

The boys aim to play it safe.

Got 12 between us and I think that's optimistic.

I've got one in my wallet. Ribbed, just to be safe.

Only 20 minutes after arriving

and the guys have already lost all of their money.

-Oh, my God.

-Well, we're fucked now, aren't we?

That's the money gone.

We'll have to go downstairs, man.

Brilliant.

At least the guys thought about security.

Mum and Dad would be so proud.

Locked the safe, like, permanently,

we didn't really read the instructions.

No, thanks. No, no.

Huh? No, thanks.

Bangla Road is the main party strip in Patong...

She's not interested.

..and can feel intimidating.

No, thanks!

They're scary when they come to close to you

and they're like "Wah, come on!" Little bit scared.

Stay near me, stay near me.

It's a long way away from Jo and the girls' native Bristol.

It is so busy and there's people, like, ladyboys everywhere.

Yeah, can we have a photo?

-100? For a photo?

-Yeah.

Oh!

OK, OK, bye.

Fuck that!

A few quick drinks will maybe calm their nerves.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, it's rather strong.

Rather strong.

Further up on the strip, the Geordie boys are back in the money

and ready to party.

Welcome to Thailand!

Like crazy hectic, nothing like you'll see in Newcastle and stuff.

John is not intent on holding back, no matter what the cost.

I know my limit and stuff, but will I abide by it in Thailand?

No, I'm on holiday, I'll live it up,

drink as much as my wallet can afford.

The constant attention from the Thai waitresses has convinced Heron

of imminent lad points.

I'm definitely going to pull tonight.

And what better way to lure the ladies than showing off

some serious dance moves?

The girls, however, are not as happy with the constant attention.

No, thank you. We've got one already.

No, thank you. Want to go back?

-We'll go back and party hard tomorrow.

-Yeah.

We're going to go back.

They decide to return to the sanctuary of their hotel

for an early night.

I wasn't really expecting it to be the way it was.

It was so, so manic, but I think that, like,

I wasn't expecting as many ladyboys as there was.

Loads of people were coming up to us with leaflets and stuff like that,

with like naked girls all over them, we were like, "No thank you!"

-Night, guys.

-Night.

-Bye.

1:30am and the Geordie boys are still in the groove.

It's going pretty well. Heron's been joined by a couple of birds,

that makes it all the more funny.

But Heron has been enlightened.

Tried to pull some birds there,

a load of them turned out to be Thai prostitutes,

which isn't too cool.

You know, I mean, they're looking at me but secretly they want my wallet.

Heron may have sussed out the situation

but the same can't be said for Carter, who has disappeared.

An hour later and Carter appears at the boys' hotel

with a local Thai girl.

It seems this young lady may be a working girl

and not allowed in the hotel.

Going to have to say goodbye and leave it, don't want to get...

Don't want to get dodgy on this.

Carter thought he'd pulled the girl of his dreams

and now he's just confused.

I always thought prostitutes were just like up front

and would just say "This much for that,"

but I could be wrong, she could have been completely legit,

but, I mean, she offered me a ride home, which I suppose is weird.

I'm gutted now.

A forlorn Carter heads out in search of the others.

-Oh, there they are.

-What the fuck happened to you?

We just checked some fucking dark alleyway,

we thought you might be fucking dead somewhere.

Did you think she was a prostitute, like?

We kind of fucking suspected it after all her mates

started laughing and stuff. Right, let's go home.

What a fucking nightmare!

3:30am and all is not well at the girls' hotel.

I've got like a really bad cold, and my tooth's coming through.

I would prefer if my mum was like here when I...

because when I don't feel very well,

but obviously she can't, but oh, well.

Jo should be careful what she wishes for. Dreams can come true.

And in only a few hours, mum Julie and step-dad Rob

arrive in Thailand on the same flight as John's dad.

-Hi, John.

-Hi, nice to meet you.

Rob, how you doing?

John's mum hasn't been able to get the time off work,

so she's sent her mum, Joyce, for moral support.

First time your lad's been away on his own?

-Yeah, it is.

-Is he a sensible lad?

-Or...is he bit of an airhead?

-He comes across as sensible

but I don't know what he's like on the drink.

-How much do you get to hear about his night out?

-Nothing.

Nothing? Some here, absolutely nothing.

We only hear what Jo wants to tell us.

She happened to admit that she broke her wrist without knowing

how she done it, that was only three, four weeks ago.

-Otherwise, we wouldn't have...

-We had to go to casualty.

Whilst the parents are whisked away to their hotel,

the guys are out in search of some cheap entertainment.

-I'm boiling.

-You warm, mate?

-Aye.

Last night's binge session has left the boys counting the cost.

Last night, I was expecting to spend like 2,500 Baht

but I ended up spending 3,500 and that was just like the night times,

just getting used to the prices,

you'd order a drink and not realise how much it was.

How much did John spend without realising?

3,500 back at home is about... Oh, God...

About £100, £125 I think, I'm not too sure.

Still don't understand it, like.

If John only knew the exchange rate,

he'd realise he'd only actually spent around £70.

But aye, way more than I'd spend at home just, dunno, first night,

crazy like, don't look at the prices or anything,

you just buy whatever you want, really, but...

Has John seen the error of his ways?

I say I'll be careful, but I won't.

I'll end up spending too much money again.

One person no doubt eager to see how John is coping with his own money

is his father, John Sr.

This is his first holiday abroad by himself.

I want him to still be sensible.

I hope they stick together as a group of friends

and I want to see that he chooses his friends carefully

and they look after each other.

Nan Joyce has other hopes.

Oh, he's a handsome boy, our John, he is.

I think he could, like, score, you know, with somebody,

but whether he treats her right or he goes out with the boys,

we don't know.

The parents are about to get their first look at what their kids

have been up to.

Jo's mum Julie and stepdad Rob are feeling anxious.

Now we've made this big effort to get out here and watch them,

now's the time for Jo to show us what she really does

and not what she tells us what she does.

First up is John.

What have I let myself in for?

I know, oh, my goodness me. Right, OK, let's do it.

Be needing these later. Those were some johnnies.

Some rubbers.

To be fair, buying 30 each was a bit optimistic, like.

12 between us, I think that's optimistic!

-Safety conscious, yeah.

-Yeah.

Yeah, that's a good lad.

Yeah, first impression he's a nice lad. Nice, decent lad.

No, I'm pleased to see condoms, I was asking if he wanted me

to buy them for him and he's done it himself, so I'm fine with it.

Yeah, no, I would be happy with that, yeah.

I said, "Go easy on the shots the first night, the shots."

-Looks like a bucket, doesn't it?

-Yeah.

I know my limit and stuff but will I abide by it in Thailand?

No.

-Oh, John!

-John! I can't..

I'll be honest, I can't..

I can't fault him at the moment, I actually think he's lovely.

It's still too early, I'm trying...

It's still too early? You know your son.

-Don't want to big him up.

-You know your son well.

Not allowed to stay.

Who's that?

Hey, man, we just checked some fucking dark alleyway,

we thought you might be dead somewhere.

-Did you think she was a prostitute, like?

-We kind of...

-Oh, shame.

-..when all of her mates started laughing and stuff.

-Oh, bless him.

-Lad. He hasn't been too bad.

Oh, did you have a little moment then

when you were like, oh, later that night?

I was really getting nervous then, especially when I saw one of them by themselves. Phew.

Not phew for me.

Carter was a little bit naive when a very pretty girl offered

to give him a lift back to his hotel on the back of a moped.

I hope John wouldn't get caught out with that.

It could be worse tomorrow.

Yeah, I think it could be.

Could be, but I'm quite proud of John,

I think he's really, really done well.

I've never heard him swearing, have you?

-Heard him a couple of times.

-Oh, I never heard it.

So far, so good.

Next up is Jo.

All right, let's see how the other half are getting on.

Taking a deep breath now.

We actually did get pissed on the flight, we got pissed on the flight.

God. I knew she would.

I nearly left my ticket in the taxi, remember?

Oh, my God, she looks really drunk.

Um, where's our suitcases?

Huh?

Oh, my God. Left our suitcases on the road, oops.

Leaving her case on the street.

Standard Jo.

Standard. Nothing's surprising me at the moment, that's just Jo.

Oh, my God.

-She seems quite sober, doesn't she?

-Yeah.

-We'll go back and party hard tomorrow.

-Yeah. I need sleep now.

I need sleep, yeah, I need sleep. We're going to go back.

Fine.

She's shocked me, actually. I am quite shocked.

I thought she would have gone out there full blast and...

Perhaps the afternoon drinking has took it out of her, and the flight.

-Yeah.

-Oh, bless.

I've got like a really bad cold, and my tooth's coming through.

I told her to pack the Bonjela

and she's like, "I won't need it, I won't need it."

I would prefer if my mum was like here when I...

when I don't feel very well, but obviously she can't, but...

Bless.

She must be bad to go home, mustn't she?

Well, she's only been gone a day and already she's missing you.

Misses mum. Oh, bless her, that's nice...

She needs her mum, doesn't she?

-You watch her, she'll pluck up tomorrow.

-I know.

She'll be fine tomorrow morning.

It's what I do, though, isn't it? I look after her.

She's only down the road, that's the hard thing, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-I know, it's so hard.

-Oh, bless.

I need her to liven up a little bit, really.

-I need her to...

-I don't know,

I think you're probably expecting too much of the girl.

-Yeah, maybe, yeah.

-24 hours without you, not feeling well,

-a long flight.

-Well, this is where Jo surprised me

because I didn't think that she would be like this,

I thought she would just go and get on with it

and get straight out there,

but, yeah, maybe I'm being a bit harsh.

-Little bit.

-Yeah, OK.

Getting straight out there is certainly something

the boys are intent on.

Me and Heron are about to go parasailing.

What they don't realise

is there are a couple of spies heading their way.

-The Geordie James Bond, aren't you?

-Yeah.

And I'm, what am I? Money...

-Mrs Moneypenny.

-Yes. Is she nice?

-She's gorgeous.

-Right, that's all right.

Dad John and nan Joyce are on a secret mission to keep

a close eye on young John.

Oh, you get a life jacket. Can I have a life jacket?

One just went straight up my fucking arse.

-There he is, look.

-Is that him there?

Yeah, do you see him?

Balls of steel, me. I ain't scared of nothing.

I would love to run over and give him a cuddle.

I would, honest, but he doesn't know gran's here, does he, so I cannot.

-It feels sneaky but nice in the same way, you know?

-Yeah.

Fantastic to see him, it really is. I cannae take my eyes off him.

-Oh, I know.

-It's like your first bairn, he'll always be your bairn,

-if you know what I'm saying?

-Yes, he will.

John's getting hooked up now, yeah.

How you feeling, John?

-Good, yeah.

-Don't hurt yourself.

-Let's go!

-Oh, God, ahh!

-Look at that.

-Blinkin' heck.

Ohh! Are you not strapped in? Are you just holding on?

-No.

-Oh, God.

John may be flying high,

but if he knew his family history, he may have had second thoughts.

His mum, on her first holiday, did this and the wind caught it

and span it.

She got twisted up and she went like under water

and the diver had to jump in and get her, she couldn't get out.

So watching him, it's nerve-racking, isn't it, John?

Ohh!

Despite mother-in-law Joyce's concern,

John Sr is keen to push his luck.

-Give it a go, Joyce, lad...

-No, no way.

-You only live once.

-I'd have a heart attack, I know I would.

If you give me a million pound, I couldn't, I'm terrified of heights.

Stop laughing because I said I'd have a heart attack.

Yeah!

Yeah, it was epic.

It was lovely seeing him, it really was,

looks as though he's had a really good time.

With the coast clear, the undercover spies make a hasty retreat.

John, what if he noticed us?

As the night draws in, Patong comes to life,

but after being ill the previous night,

Jo really isn't in the party mood.

Are you excited to speak to your mum?

Yeah, it feels like I haven't spoken to her in ages.

Like, when you're at home and you know that they're close,

you don't miss them as much, but when you're so far away from them

-and you need to talk to them about things...

-Yeah.

And you can't, it's like really difficult.

Hello?

Jo needs some reassurance.

Oh, hi, Jo.

She's sure her mum is back in Bristol.

What am I doing? What do I do on a Saturday?

Housework, Jo. Huh!

I was ill last night.

You were not well?

No, I wasn't very well.

Yeah, there's a bit of a time delay, Jo,

-so I'm trying to keep up with you.

-It's really hot over here.

Oh, my goodness, it's raining at home

so I should make the most of it, Jo, it's pouring with rain.

-Go out there and enjoy yourself, OK?

-Yeah. I will.

It's a fantastic opportunity,

go and enjoy yourself with your mates, all right, love?

All right, I'll speak to you later.

Oh, I love you loads, Jo. Love you, enjoy yourself.

-Love you. Love you, bye.

-See you soon, love you too, bye-bye.

It's so complicated to have a conversation

because there's, like, a time delay.

Oh, that was so hard. So, so hard. Oh, my goodness.

She's like just over there.

Right, are we ready to go? Yes, ready?

The girls may be needing some encouragement to let their hair down,

but one group needing no encouragement...

Cheers.

..are the parents.

I suppose to find somebody that actually drinks the same amount

as me and Julie is absolutely brilliant.

We're not massive drinkers.

Aren't you? Aww.

Jo's mum Julie feels she missed out on her youth

and just hopes Jo will not let the side down.

That's quality, that.

As for drinking, I think it's parents one, children nil.

I'd agree with that. Let's drink to that.

Cheers to that one. Come on, kids.

Here's to more beer.

She's like "bring it on."

Also dead set on hitting the beer tonight are the Geordie boys.

Tonight will probably be a lot crazier than last night,

like, I want to get absolutely fucked tonight.

After last night's failure with the girls,

the boys are determined to score some lad points.

Heron is absolutely gagging for it, honest, son.

I use condoms with people I don't know

but if I know them and I trust them, I wouldn't.

-Yes.

-Yes, man.

Somebody who'll get the contraceptive pill in the morning.

Little smiley for him.

All the sex talk gets John fired up and keen to make his mark...

on Heron.

Ooh! Ah!

I think it's burned through the flesh.

It did!

John's unique branding idea hasn't gone down well.

Just look at my arm, it's fucking...

It's blistering, man, it's blistering! Twat.

And just to add fuel to the flames, John has another not-so-bright idea.

HE SCREAMS

Oh, fuck!

What happens in Thailand stays in Thailand.

You wish.

A bucket and a few suicide shots later

and John is relishing his new-found freedom.

It's weird not having the parents, like, you know,

no authority figure like telling us "no, no," "this, that,"

but, got to grow up once, got to learn to live on me own two feet.

Go on, Thailand! Yes!

Jo, Shaz and Natalie have also hit the strip.

Mum's pep talk has done the trick.

Oh, my God, what the fuck? That's so strong.

The girls are getting up close and personal with the locals.

There's like so many ladyboys here, it's unreal.

They're like everywhere. I think I've seen one of their willies.

Jo's thoughts are now far from home.

Like earlier when I spoke to my mum I was bit like, oh,

I kind of miss her, but now I've come out

I've completely forgotten about it and I feel better now.

I've literally had an amazing night now.

Yeah, it's so much better than yesterday.

We have met such lovely ladyboys,

I mean, people misjudge these people. They are lovely.

Warming my chips up.

Back down the strip, the drinking may be going well

but the quest for lad points isn't.

Heron and Carter think there may be more fish in the sea.

Basically, we're going to walk down this beach,

see if there's any lasses in the moonlight.

If so, we'll take them for a fucking horse ride, really dramatic like.

Of course, that won't happen because we can't afford a fucking horse.

Be careful, man.

Down on the beach, there isn't a filly in sight.

With no girls, Heron and Carter decide on a dangerous midnight dip.

Beach, water...

Let's go, if you want. Yeah? Keep with me.

I'm looking after you, man, I'm not trying to be like a twat.

They're just drunk, they're being fucking idiots.

Like, if Carter wanted to go in the sea,

go when he was sober this morning, but he didn't go in there once,

he's just being stupid and, nah, just being absolute idiots.

Thankfully, John has transformed from foolish fire starter

to Captain Sensible.

Carter and Heron are not impressed.

Heron.

"Let's not go in the ocean, you might get wet, ohh!"

Was I looking out for you?

You were responsibly looking out for us just in case we drowned.

-Exactly.

-And let's be honest, right, the tide was fucking massive.

-It's dodgy, man, it's dodgy.

-Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly.

"Oh, you might get wet, ohh!"

The parents are bracing themselves for another instalment

of their kids' first ever holiday on their own.

John and Joyce are feeling upbeat.

I was quite proud of our John

apart from when he was drinking out of a bowl.

-Was it a bowl or a bucket?

-Bucket.

A bucket. I was quite proud of him,

but poor Carter hanging around for women, and...

he would have had to pay.

I think it could be a little bit wilder.

Yeah, I do, I think they'll really get drunk and they'll all try

and meet some nice girls and...

Get some lad points.

Get some lad points, yes.

First up is John.

Right, let's go and see what they got up to.

Tonight will probably be a lot crazier than last night, like.

I want to get absolutely fucked, me.

I want to pass out, I really do.

I'm just worried by it. You know, it's only his second night,

he can't know the place that much at the moment.

You know, and he says he's going to get in that sort of state

where he doesn't know where he is, you know.

Why? You know, what's he going to remember of that?

Typical boy, typical man.

-We'll see.

-We'll see.

I use condoms with people I don't know, but if I know them

and I trust them, I wouldn't.

-Yes.

-Yes, man.

Someone who'll get the contraceptive pill in the morning.

Ooh.

I mean, I don't think of him doing it, never mind using condoms.

-Oh, no, it must be hard for you.

-It's embarrassing.

-It's hard for you, isn't it, that?

-Yes, it is.

I mean, talking like that, if he knew the girl, he wouldn't?

-Yeah.

-Got to be so careful.

-Yeah, that's...

-I'll have to have a word with him.

Ee! Who the heck's done that?

John.

Did he throw...?

I don't know what they're playing at.

I don't. I mean, that could have caused a big fire.

A bit dangerous.

His mother would have a fit, wouldn't she?

-She wouldn't be happy with that...

-Have a fit!

Let's... let's go in the water.

Don't go too far in, mate.

You ready? Beach, water, yeah. Keep with me.

If you really want to go in the sea, you should wait until you're sober,

just daft, really.

-Ahh, good lad.

-That's lovely, isn't it?

-Aww.

That's nice.

"Let's not go in the ocean, you might get wet, ohh!"

Was I looking out for you?

You were responsibly looking out for us, just in case we drowned.

Exactly.

-They're lovely lads, aren't they?

-Aww.

-Chuffed a bit with that.

-Yeah, commendable, very commendable.

-Yes.

-We've come out the other side, haven't we?

-Yes.

-Started off I was like, "Oh, what to expect tonight?"

-but no, I'm so proud.

-Pulled it back.

I was very proud that he looked after his friend

who was considering a swim late at night, you know, still thinking

about the tides, I couldn't be more proud of that, to be honest with you.

Next up is Jo.

Right, let's do this then.

Yep, let's have a look.

Oh, she's drinking loads.

Oh, Jo.

Oh, no, Jo. Oh, Jo.

That's the Jo I know.

She's dancing.

Like earlier when I spoke to my mum I was a bit like

"Oh, I kind of miss her" but now I've come out, I've

completely forgot about it and I feel better now.

Oh, that's good.

-Oh, my goodness.

-Well, I was hoping it'd be more than a few hours

that she didn't want to speak to you any more.

Yeah. I know, it's so typical of Jo!

"Oh, I'm really sad," "Oh, OK, I've got over it."

-You've done your job well.

-I've done my job well.

Julie is delighted to see her daughter's finally cutting loose.

Right, deep breath.

Today it's tears of happiness.

Right, OK. I'm all right now.

Yeah, I think the little talk would have done her the world of good.

I think she would have listened to me because I think even though

I don't think she does listen to me, she does, and she would have said

"Right, OK, Mum, let's just go out there"

and I said to her, "Enjoy your holiday, enjoy the experience,"

and I genuinely think she will now.

And what better way to wash away those homesick blues

than to hit the surf?

-Surf's up, man.

-Surf's up.

Jo may be a little scared...

Shitting myself.

..but she is learning to stand on her own two feet.

Just that, and it just goes straight through you, and it has power.

I've never been away without my mum and without my dad before

so I feel like I've come out here like quite naive.

First of all, I felt really homesick and now, I feel so much better now.

Being here has made me want to go travelling now

for like a longer period of time.

I reckon I could last out here for like three months

and it would be a really fun time, like, a really good experience.

Jo is literally on the crest of a wave.

Back in town, mum Julie and Rob are taking full advantage...

-Wow, is this it?

-You ready?

-Are you ready?

-Oh, my God.

..by snooping their room.

Oh, my fucking God, look at the state of that.

Oh, my God!

Unbelievable.

Unbelievable.

Oh, my God. Oh! It's food.

Put it in a bin, girls.

Oh!

It's broken.

I'm shocked. Seriously.

The door's been Jo'd.

Yeah, she does break everything.

-Unbelievable.

-I weren't expecting this.

No, in my...

No, she can be a messy little madam but this is disgusting.

I'm just thinking of what Jo's room would look like

if you didn't tidy it.

Yeah, I'm going to go back to my tidy hotel.

The house-proud parents may be gobsmacked

but to be fair to Jo, the mess hasn't gone unnoticed.

In fact, it's proved inspirational.

Being on this trip does make me think that I'm, like, quite spoilt

and I want to go home now and just like...

like help my mum out and like help her around the house

and stuff because, like, when I see the state of our room,

it makes me feel sick. When I go home I'm going to appreciate

my tidy room so much more and I'll want it tidy because I'm on my own.

It's the last night out for the Geordie boys.

Money is tight, girls are few and far between

and Heron is in a bad mood.

A ping pong show!

I wish they'd stop trying to fucking sell me shit.

I don't want it.

I'm getting really agitated at all these salesmen.

I want to grab one of their signs and tell them to piss off.

Ever the calming influence, John leads the boys into a chill out bar.

But only five minutes later...

Basically, that bar was fucking shite.

-It was boring.

-Pay 200 Baht to get in.

-The only decent thing about that bar...

-Ah, sorry!

-Yes!

-You fucked that one up massively, didn't you, girl?

-Sorry.

The intelligent choice would be to follow where that Australian bird

that just interrupted me went. So if we follow her direction...

-You mean the one you told to fuck off?

-Yeah, I know.

-Yeah!

Let's follow her scent.

The guys head off in search of the Aussies,

and surprisingly they find them.

Do you guys want me to buy you a drink?

-Is that what you're asking?

-Yeah, we want a bucket.

Of what?

Sprite? Fanta, vodka, what?

Vodka.

Heron believes his luck has changed. John isn't so sure.

Have you ever seen him close a deal once?

He does get stuck in friend mode, man, he actually does.

Heron is absolutely gagging for it,

he's been talking about it all holiday

so I had to sacrifice my free shot for his bird that he pulled

so, yeah, he wants it more than me so I'll let him have this one.

Jo's mum Julie missed out on the party lifestyle as a young mum

and is desperate to see her daughter make the most of her time in Thailand.

Getting nervous now.

Tonight, along with stepdad Rob, they are heading to Bangla Road

to see how Jo manages to cope in the big, bad world.

I'm hoping that we get to see the true side of Jo.

That's what I'd like to see, the Bristol Jo that goes out

and doesn't always come home, actually.

The sights of Bangla Road prove a real eye opener.

The parents hide on a balcony directly above a bar,

just as the girls arrive.

Julie and Rob are still in shock from seeing the strip first-hand.

I'll be honest, I'm not surprised that Jo's not maybe entirely

being herself because this is quite a scary place for Jo, isn't it?

-Just walking up with you, even with two adults...

-Yeah, that's right.

It's frightening when somebody's putting something in your face all the time.

Yeah, all the time.

Jo is completely oblivious that her parents are less than ten feet away.

This is going to be a first, as Jo said she would never, ever

-be in a club at the same time with you.

-Yeah.

We just want to shout out, "Jo, we're clubbing with you. Yeah!"

I know, that's right!

Julie and Rob have always believed Jo is pretty streetwise,

-but on this occasion...

-Can you look after our drink?

We're just going to go to the toilet.

No, Jo, don't, no, no, don't let them look after your drink, mate, please.

Take your drinks with you, or throw them away.

-Did she just say, "Can you look after my drinks?"

-Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Well, we said that, didn't we? Not to do it.

Unbelievable.

Guys, we're going to go. Come with!

Jo says she wants to go somewhere more lively,

that could be interesting, couldn't it?

Yeah, she's looking good.

She's sounding confident, that's important.

-Let's get out of here.

-Let's get out of here quick.

The party is over for the parents,

but for the girls, the night has only just begun.

Three, two, one.

MUSIC: "Tequila" by Terrorvision

Not so happy are the boys.

1:45am on their final night and have any of them managed to score?

No.

It hasn't happened.

They fucked off the minute Mia dropped her shots

and now I'm left completely without the girls.

Oh, shit!

Another night of frustration

and zero lad points for the entire holiday.

-You all right?

-Far too much to drink, far too much to drink.

Seriously, man, I have never had anything like that

in Newcastle, right?

Back at the hotel and John's sensibility has been replaced

with sillybility.

Put your hand on there, make sure he's fucking... That he's breathing.

Yeah, he's alive, that's a good sign.

Pulse is very low, like, but he's alive.

The following morning and Jo's mum Julie and stepdad Rob

are still reeling from their taste of Bangla Road.

I have actually seen a side to Jo that's responsible and she's...

She's gauged and she's sussed out the surroundings

and she's decided in her own head, without anybody else telling her,

that it's not a safe place for her to be like she is in Bristol.

It's almost like we were wrong and Jo was right.

At the start of the week, we wanted Jo to drink more,

just to loosen up, get rid of the tightness.

I think I've probably drunk more than Jo.

Well, when it's happy hour round the bar, can't miss that.

In only a few hours,

the parents will reveal the truth to their offspring,

but first a chance to hear what their kids have learnt

from their Thai experience.

Right, we ready then? Let's go and look and see what they got.

Last night, isn't it?

I do a bit around the house but not half as much as I really

should do, but when I get home it'll probably change.

I'll do a lot more for them and like do a lot more for myself as well,

not treat them like my servants.

When I get back, I want to earn my own money

and spend like my own money rather than relying on my parents

too heavily, so I'll probably go back, look for a full-time job,

make my parents proud of what I'm doing and stuff like.

Aww.

Oh, that's lovely, isn't it?

Oh, well.

He's a nice lad, John, yeah, he's a very nice lad.

That's really nice. He's learnt, hasn't he?

-He's appreciating what he's got.

-Yes. A good lad, he's a good lad.

He's gone over the line a little bit with the fire

and things like that, but you know on the whole,

I think he's done himself proud. His mam, you know,

would love to have been here. She'd be so proud watching him.

I really thought with him being on his own without his parents,

he would have went really wild, but he hasn't, has he, John?

No, he's done fine, he's done fine.

Let's see what Jo's been up to.

Being on this trip has made me think that I'm, like, spoilt.

Coming out here and being quite naive,

not knowing much about the culture and the people has opened my eyes

a lot because I've never seen anything like this before, like.

Well, I'm gobsmacked.

Wow. Did you see? They've...well...

Certainly got a mature head on her shoulders, hasn't she?

-Yeah, where's that..

-That is... We never see that at home.

We'd never see that at home.

Genuinely, I'm so proud of her, so proud.

At the very, very start of this whole process, I said this,

she had no concept of how the outside world works.

What real life's like, yeah.

I've been proved wrong again.

I do think that I see my stepdad as another dad.

I'm so glad that my mum met him and I'm glad he moved in with us.

He's not like a replacement, obviously, it's just...

I've got two dads basically.

-Is that the first time you've heard that, Rob?

-Ever.

-Ever.

-Oh, fantastic.

Hearing Jo talking so positively has knocked Rob for six.

That was hard to take for a minute or two.

Never seen you like that,

and it takes a lot for you to be like that and it is...

-Totally, yeah.

-This... It's good, it's a good thing.

You will cry at anything.

I'll cry at anything. I cry at soaps, I cry at anything.

And I have a pop at you, don't I? "Grow up."

Emotional wreck I am.

Jo is well-rounded and we're emotional wrecks.

Later that afternoon, Rob and Julie prepare to reveal

the reality of Jo's trip to Thailand.

After this morning, even I've got butterflies after what I've heard

this morning. I'm touched by what she said and I can't wait

-to see her.

-Yeah, we said that, didn't we?

It's been brilliant. She's not the girl I thought she was.

She's a better girl than I thought she was.

She was. Oh, I can't even speak.

My God, I'm so nervous now.

Blissfully unaware, Jo, Shaz and Natalie are about to brave

a final day fish pedicure.

Wow, that's so cool.

She's going to be so surprised.

I don't think she will have a clue that we would be coming.

-It's going to be amazing.

-She's in there!

I know, I know, don't, because she might pop out in a minute.

She might look.

They're swimming away from your feet.

Oh, my God. I've got the shivers here, shit, shit...

Oh, my God, does it feel weird.

It's Jo. It's just fish.

So excited now, I'm excited now. Not nervous, excited.

Jo is in for the shock of her life.

Oh, my fucking God.

What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck?

Your room is a pigsty!

Oh, my God!

You three have been hilarious, we have been pissing ourselves.

Jo, seriously, major proud of you,

-me and Rob have been so proud of you, all of you.

-Look at it.

-I've misjudged you. I thought you were a tearaway.

-No.

And you're not, you're a little softy, aren't you? A little softy.

She's a grown-up, lovely young lady.

Mum, please, just stop this.

We're going clubbing with you tonight.

-No, you're not!

-Yeah!

Oh, I literally can't believe that you're here.

Oh, it's nice to see you though, Jo, we've been really proud of you.

Really proud of you.

-We have seen you mature...

-Apart from the room.

No, no, you might not think you have, but you've come out

and you say things and we didn't think that Jo is capable

-of saying those things, but there's been a responsible side of you this week.

-Yeah.

We've learnt a lot and we've learnt that you need to have your space.

I'm not going to fuss around you and clean your room and do any of that.

I'm going to back off now and just let you do your own thing,

-but I'm going to be there if you need me.

-Yeah.

A little bit I wanted you to back off,

then I probably still want you there to like advise me.

-Yeah, well, I'm there, I'm only...

-But not tell me.

..steps away from you, it's just the waking you up in the morning

-and things like that.

-I can do that.

-You can do that.

-Yeah.

Don't cry.

It's been an amazing experience,

we've learnt a lot about ourselves as well as our daughter

and I think that's the best really that we can really hope for.

It'd be nice to think that on the other foot,

Jo is going to appreciate us a bit more

and perhaps help out with chores around the house.

-That'd be nice.

-If she says she will,

then now we've got this new responsible adult

living in the family,

then we'll take it that she will do it.

I do feel like I am slightly more grown-up.

It'll probably change when I get back.

In the hills of Phuket, John Sr and nan Joyce

are also preparing to break cover.

I hope he's not totally embarrassed that me and his nana's here

and it upsets his holiday, which he's had a fantastic one.

But I'm just so excited to see him,

I've been like a cat on hot bricks for the last...

He's been like a panther. You couldn't sit down, could you, pet?

John and the boys are getting their kicks in a big plastic ball,

known as Zorbing.

I'm really excited to see him.

Can't wait to see his little face when he sees we're...

His little face, bless him.

Fuck!

Oh, my God.

Hello, John, son.

-Hello, son. All right?

-All right.

-Love you.

-Yup. Had a good time. Why are you crying?

Good to see you.

You too. Hi, Nan.

Hi.

-Oh, man.

-Hiya, John.

We've been watching what you've been up to.

-Been good, haven't I?

-Not too bad.

How long have yous been here?

Well, not too long.

Been watching you, and what was with the fire?

Oh, aye, just daft.

What would happen if the smoke alarm had gone off, son?

-You'd have emptied the whole hotel.

-Just stupid.

Did you throw it?

Yeah, it was me. I won't do it again.

You'd better not.

It was absolutely crazy, like, when I was going down the Zorb

and then got to the bottom and I've seen some white, bald guy,

I kind of thought, "Who's this?"

And then in pops your head, pretty crazy.

John, you'll not realise this until you're a dad yourself but when

your son goes away for his first holiday, you're bloody nervous.

You know, you do so much and everything else

and you've done yourself and your mam so proud.

If you had the chance, would you do it all again?

Probably, yeah, I'd do it all again

but hopefully without yous two watching my every move.

We've been a bit sneaky, we've seen some close-ups that we never

would have seen of him and how he's acted with his mates,

but he seems to have taken it on the chin well and I just...

I'm really proud of what I've seen, you know.

They were just lads having a good time.

They were getting drunk, trying different meals.

Just things my generation did, but not in Thailand.

Like, I'm not going to break any promises,

I will try and help out a bit more around the house and just show

how appreciative I am of them, like helping me out during the years

of growing up, now it's my time to grow up and help them out a bit.

What you don't realise, John, is when you come into this world, right,

I caught you coming out and I pulled you out, so when I was grabbing you

out of that ball, it felt like it was giving birth to the man.

-Could you be any more cheesy?

-No, I don't think I could!

That's the most embarrassing thing I've ever heard in my life.

Next time, two 20-somethings go on the adventure of a lifetime

to Koh Samui in Thailand.

Will easily-influenced Billy be led astray?

Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, come here.

And can Muslim girl Agi...

I don't care, I'm getting out of here.

..finally escape the pressures of home life?

Oh, my God.