New Jersey The World's Strictest Parents

Around the world, many parents raise their kids

on a diet of strict discipline...

It's our responsibility as parents

to be in control of the music they listen to,

the movies they watch and the friends they have.

..rigid boundaries...

Am I friends with my children? No.

I'm not your friend, I'm your parent.

..and immediate consequences.

My dad is really strict.

If you break the rules he can be very scary.

LOUD ROCK MUSIC

But can traditional parenting

change the lives of rebellious British teenagers?

I was brought here on this earth to party.

She can be an absolute nightmare. It's awful.

My lifestyle is playing Xbox, and getting hammered.

You, I'll get you!

I went to anger management,

got kicked out of anger management...for being angry.

No-one can tell me what to do.

Not even the Queen of England can tell me what to do.

GLASS SMASHES

He's slapped me, he's poked me, he's pushed me.

He's done it all.

I am what I am. If you don't like it then jog on.

To find out, two teens who've never met before

will leave their fraught families behind.

-Maybe she'll come back home and be nice.

-Doubt it.

And head off to the far corners of the world where they

will live according to strict rules imposed by new parents.

You are not in the UK, you are in Barbados.

They're the most awful people I've ever met in my whole life.

If she wants to throw a hissy fit, she can have her hissy fit.

Ahh!

I'm going home, bro.

What you going to do? That's what I thought.

This is our rule. If you're going to cop an attitude about it, forget it.

-What's the point, yeah?

-The point is a matter of trust.

If this is how they are, I'm sorry for Britain.

THEY LAUGH

19-year-old Wes McGillian has only one thing on his mind.

If they're ugly, it's funny.

If they're fit, then it's good on you.

The plan is like going out, having a good time

then see what's knocking about.

Even if it's a pull, not even a shag, it's good enough.

Tonight, I don't really... I have no care in the world.

I really don't. There's nothing to care about.

But Wesley's mum Tina wants him to face his responsibilities.

-I want to know what you're going to do.

-Just go out and have fun.

-You just want to go and have fun?

-Yeah.

And what about the baby?

What about the baby?

Three months ago, Wesley received shocking news.

My ex-girlfriend is now pregnant with my child.

She told me on the computer. On Facebook.

Still at college, Wes refuses to confront the reality

of being a teen dad.

What I'm doing about the baby is nothing.

I don't want to think about it.

That's real, Wesley.

But it's not here now, is it?

Yeah, but it's real.

It's just a photo.

It's not a photo, it's a photo of your baby - my grandchild.

And what?

Wesley's mum separated from his father when he was a little boy.

She doesn't want Wes to follow in his dad's footsteps.

Every child should have a dad around them.

And be in their life 24/7 basically.

And that's why I really want to push it for Wesley to think about

his responsibility to his baby.

I don't want him to be a part-time dad.

-You've got to plan.

-Plan what?

Plan, you've got to save, you've got to buy a cot,

you've got to buy prams...

How can I do that, Mum?

You're going to have to get a part-time job, cos you're going to have to work extra hard as parents.

Mum Tina is ashamed of his immature attitude.

If Wesley doesn't take responsibility of this child I'll kill him.

He wouldn't be the boy that I gave birth to.

Everyone in Brighton is just... high on life.

16-year-old Tamsin Carruthers-Cole

has a broken relationship with her family.

Really kind of...hate living here.

When was the last time you had anything to eat?

This morning.

When I try and talk to Tamsin I will, 99% of the time, get a brick wall.

Can I have some money, please?

What do you need money for?

In case I want to get a bus anywhere.

She's a very beautiful 16-year-old pain in the arse.

When have I been getting loads of money off you? I haven't...

I've been being really good about it, so please, can I have a fiver at least?

I might need to get a bus to the other side of Brighton.

The bus is £2.

-(BLEEP)

-you.

When I'm in a bad mood, I'm the child from hell.

Mum and Dad suspect Tamsin is experimenting with drugs.

I've had weekend benders.

But, if you don't sleep,

you get sleep deprived and you go a bit insane.

I don't know what goes on in her social life

or what kind of peer pressure there is...

So of course I worry as a parent.

I have a life at home and then a different life outside my home.

And this is all secret.

I've tried a lot of drugs.

Like, everything, really.

Tamsin's parents are terrified she's throwing her life away.

She's dropped out of college. I mean, she's not doing anything.

We'd always done music, for example.

All those things went out the window.

Most of her problems are because she doesn't say what she's feeling.

It just comes out as anger.

I'm an angry person. But I'm not, that's the thing.

I can't control her and I accept that.

Thank you.

Thanks very much, driver.

-Miss you.

-Don't cry.

You're ignoring me. Do you know why you're going?

-Course.

-Right, if you show us up, I'll be really upset.

To try and turn their irresponsible teenagers into mature adults,

both families have agreed to send them to live with new parents

on the other side of the world.

I just hope that he's not got girls on his mind and he's going there

to think deeply about himself and his responsibilities.

-What he's got to do, really.

-Yeah, forget about the women.

I'm not going to cry.

She's not going to look back.

That's it, she's just gone.

She doesn't like showing emotion. She told me I wasn't allowed to cry

and I wasn't allowed to be over-emotional.

I want her to come back having found something positive and constructive

in her life instead of negative and destructive.

Hello.

Nice to meet you, what's your name?

-I'm Tamsin, what's your name?

-Wesley.

-So what brings you here?

-I need to sort my life out.

Same here. I don't know what to expect.

Still can't believe that it's actually happening.

America, here we go.

The 3,500-mile journey will end here -

up-market Cape May, on the American east coast.

Home to the Loper-Leveille family.

Scott Loper and Joe Leveille have been together for 19 years.

They have a straight-talking approach when it comes to parenting.

'I enjoy my children,'

I have a good relationship with my children,

but am I friends with my children? No.

I'm not your friend, I'm your parent.

Good morning.

Three of their kids are adopted and two are being fostered.

They include Noah, 11,

Chris, who is 16,

And Zack, 17.

Amazing.

We were the very first gay couple in New Jersey

to openly, jointly

adopt children together.

It may seem unusual to some people

for two men to have this many children,

but when you get right down to it, we really pretty much

do anything that any other type of family would do.

Joe and Scott provide a stable family for children

who would otherwise live in a state-run home.

Most of the children that come to us come to us from a background

that is somehow damaged.

We've dealt with everything from petty larceny, lying,

drugs...

They maybe aren't used to the type of structure

that we try and provide here.

In fact, with that many kids in the house, we really NEED

the type of structure that we provide here.

With five boys and a beautiful home,

two of those key structures are tidiness and cleanliness.

We check to make sure the kids have made their beds,

that their rooms are neatened.

How come the blinds are closed?

Ooh, the room that's always a disaster area. Dare I?

Oh, my gosh!

Look at that!

This house is one of my biggest accomplishments, next to my kids.

I would say that the thing that I am most proud of

isn't any accomplishment of mine, other than my family.

After a nine-hour flight, the teens touch down in the United States.

Cape May is a two-hour drive.

They're going to be the typical American family, aren't they?

American flag outside,

all holding Bibles singing little hymns when we're coming in.

I'll respect their views, but they've got to respect mine.

Like, I don't believe it.

If they treat me like crap then I'll have to treat them like crap.

It's going to be weird if there's a dad there as well.

Like, some male authority trying to tell me what to do.

-Are you ready for this?

-Yeah.

It's two men.

It's two men!

-Is it a gay couple?

-Don't know.

What is going on here?

Hello, how do you do? I guess you probably didn't expect this?

-No!

-Welcome.

-I'm Wes.

Hi, Wes.

-I'm Tamsin.

-Hi, how are you. Welcome.

-Tamsin.

-Tamsin. And Wes, I'm Joe.

-I guess you're a couple, yeah?

-Yes. You guessed correctly.

-THEY LAUGH

-We're a couple of something.

And we have other kids.

I bet you weren't expecting that either!

THEY ALL LAUGH

From now on, Tamsin and Wes will be living

as children of the Loper-Leveilles.

Come on in.

What a beautiful house.

Why don't you introduce...

These are our boys.

You all right?

Hi.

-Zack.

-You all right?

-Noah.

Nice to meet you, I'm Wes.

-What's your name?

-Tamsin.

Well, welcome. We do want you to consider this your home.

We'll show you around and we'll do all the formalities.

-All right.

-So if you want to grab your bags...

You guys are going to be around the corner here.

After you, please.

This will be your room. There are empty drawers,

all of these are empty for your use. The closet, there are hangers...

So we want you to be at home and not living out of a suitcase.

OK, Wes, this is your room.

You're going to be sleeping in that bed.

We would like you to unpack and make yourself at home.

OK.

How did you manage to have kids?

Uh, all of our children are...

They were really tough birthing,

but I think my figure came back nice, don't you?

I think I did pretty good!

Wow!

What do you think?

-I wasn't expecting that at all.

-I weren't expecting that.

This is the first gay couple I've ever met so...

Like, it doesn't bother me cos that's who they are, but...

It's just strange to get your head around the situation.

Scott, you locked the liquor cabinet, correct?

I told them it's locked anyway.

'This week I really don't know what's going to happen.'

Really... I'm in shock.

Truly in shock.

Big shock.

Males everywhere. I'm used to living in a house with girls.

Joe and Scott believe that honesty

is the key to their success as parents.

Wesley, Tamsin, could you come in here, please?

So before the teens are fully welcomed into the family,

the dads want to outline exactly what's expected of them.

Welcome to Camp Scott.

This is Camp Scott. This house is run by me.

Rule number one -

no drug or alcohol use will be tolerated.

The drinking age here in the United States is 21.

There are no ifs, ands or buts on this.

I am nosey, I will find out.

Number two - chores are to be completed when asked.

This home is neat.

We expect it to stay that way.

And I have a few things under that.

A - beds will be made each morning.

Bed and room inspections to follow.

B - keep rooms, drawers and closets tidy.

If you fail to clean up after yourself, I will call you back and you will do it.

C - boys who cannot aim correctly will sit!

-Funny one, right, Wes?

-Yeah.

You may find that funny - all of my children sit.

Bedtime on weekdays is promptly at ten.

-No exceptions.

-Are you joking?

-No, I'm not.

-There's no way I can go to bed at ten.

What time do you normally go to bed?

-Three or something like that.

-What's that?

-Three at night time.

Three at night time.

I'm afraid there's no way you're going to be able to do that.

You do not want to press those rules.

There is a price to living like this.

It can be fun, it can be friendly, it can be nice.

-Or it can be hell.

-Or you can fight us.

-And you can fight us.

My children have fought us, and we won.

My favourite saying is, "Do your worst."

Do your worst and we'll see what happens.

-That's all. You're free to go.

-Cheers.

-Thank you.

-That went well.

-So far, the issues seem to be minor.

-Yes.

-But...

-We'll see.

-We'll see.

I won't sit down to have a wee. I'm a man!

No way I'm sitting down.

In the UK, both teens are used to total freedom.

You can see yourself doing all the cleaning up?

Making sure that you do your bed properly, the way he likes?

I'm not going to be able to do it all properly.

I'm not a tidy person.

There's no time to relax and just enjoy yourself and, like...

just do what you want to do.

I feel like I'm on a leash.

It'll only take two...

The one thing we didn't really cover with you guys is drug use.

What is your opinion of people who do them?

-My friends do them, so...

-They do?

-I'm not going to say anything.

Have you ever been asked to take any kind of a drug test?

-No.

-No, how about you?

-No.

OK.

-SCOTT:

-You're going to today. Every child who comes into this house - and you're not being singled out -

every child that comes into this house is drug tested.

The reason is, we are a licensed foster home, OK?

If you're not taking, I won't have to worry about you.

-We're trying to prevent something from happening.

-Preventative medicine.

Personally, I don't want to do it because I don't want my mum knowing anything.

It is a standard rule of the house. Here's the situation -

this is our rule, if you're going to cop an attitude about it, forget it.

Because I'm going to tell you right now, it's not just you.

It's not just you. We need to protect ourselves.

Scott's hard line has upset Tamsin and angered Wesley.

Why can't you just take my word? I'm telling you that I do not do drugs.

The point is that if she is doing or if you are doing, and not telling us, I...

-WESLEY POPS HIS CHEWING GUM

-Please, don't do that. That's rude.

Everyone is going to smoke, OK, fine.

Do not... Here's the rule in my house, do not...

You're putting words into my mouth. I'm stating I do not take drugs.

It's like, personal stuff, and I don't want to open up about it.

I don't want those people knowing, I don't want...

I don't know them and I don't want them knowing everything.

'Tamsin's reaction seemed to be one of guilt.'

You cannot have friends that take drugs and expect to remain drug-free.

-A little bit.

-Just a dabble?

-Yeah.

And then screw the lid on.

Unscrew the lid before you try and use the cup.

To keep the peace, Wes decides to submit to the test.

Got a little name tag for it, so we all know whose is whose.

-That's it?

-That's all you needed, isn't it?

-That's all I needed.

All of these, straight across the board, are pink.

Here's what you just accomplished, OK?

First of all, I know that you don't do drugs. OK?

What's the second thing that I now know?

That you can trust me.

-Right.

-Bingo. Trust.

-Bingo.

You are the new poster boy for a drug-free England!

Now, Tamsin, everyone that comes into my home

has some sort of screening.

I don't know how I can make it any clearer to you, OK?

-Justin?

-Yes?

-Did I make you take a drug test?

-You didn't MAKE me...

-But you did it.

But I... Yeah.

I'll just admit it. I've had a major drugs problem.

I've been addicted to drugs and I'm not proud of it

and I don't want anyone to know, but it's too late.

You know, Tamsin... You know, I didn't...

A bit extreme.

Joe wants to find out more from Tamsin.

You told me you dabbled in drugs,

and I'm thinking it was more than dabbling.

I don't want to admit to anything.

-You don't want to admit to anything?

-No.

Things aren't amazing at home and my mum has so much to deal with.

-Yeah.

-She knows that I've done it, but...

-She doesn't maybe know to what extent.

-She doesn't know properly.

She's just been through so much and had so much to deal with and everything to worry about.

It's not until recently that I've started to realise how much she's been going through,

and I just want to make everything easy for her.

I just don't want her to know.

Well, look. Why don't you try and relax? OK?

Tamsin's family troubles began after Dad fell seriously ill.

13 or 14 years ago, my dad got kidney failure

and he's been ill ever since.

Dad is on his third kidney, the latest donated by Tamsin's mum.

I've had three transplants, and each one of them, it's always been there,

the hope that I can spend time with my children while they're children.

It's been quite tough. Him having transplants, being in hospital,

operations going wrong and Mum being upset.

After I donated a kidney to Matthew

I don't have the energy I used to, where I could fix everything,

always make everything better.

Part of me has always been kind of angry

that I've never really had a dad.

Cos he's been in bed, working, being ill -

that's what I know him for.

I don't like to get in a confrontation on the first day that I meet someone,

so I think, perhaps, letting this go for a little while, coming back to it later,

is what we need to do.

Good morning.

Rise and shine, sir.

We're going to be checking the place in about 15 minutes, so get yourself up.

In the Loper-Leveille household, the daily routine starts bright and early.

It is important to get off on a good start,

because then you're going to have a good day.

Pretty good, pretty good.

I'll be in to check it, trust me.

Laying about in bed is not an option.

GOOD MORNING!

There. Up.

Good morning, sir.

Time to wake up.

There we go, there we go! Say, "Good morning, Wesley, good morning, Wesley."

There we are, oh, yes! Pug in the morning!

-Ooh!

-Pug in the morning!

Now maybe you'll get out of bed!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

There, that worked!

Very good girl, Gracie!

Scott used to manage a motel so breakfast is run like a well-oiled machine.

These are the rules -

someone is asked to set the table,

then after dinner, somebody clears the table, somebody rinses the dishes,

somebody washes pots and pans.

I've never done chores, never do chores.

-You don't?

-You don't do chores?

-Who does the chores?

-My mum.

Your mom. Does your mother work?

-Mm-hm.

-Do you work?

So you lounge about the house all day while your mother does everything?

-Basically, yeah.

-Boy, would that make me angry.

Got to tell you.

If you don't have a job, who pays for everything you do?

My mum pays for everything.

-She pays for EVERYTHING?

-Yeah.

-Wow.

'Wesley is a big kid.'

He's 19 chronologically, but a lot of the attitudes

that I hear from his mouth

are those that I would expect to hear from a 15-year-old child.

With Tamsin's admission of frequent drug use back home,

Scott and Joe have decided that she must remain in the house

under close supervision.

They have other plans for work-shy Wesley.

You need to learn what it is that people do

to earn the money that you're so eager to take and spend without contributing.

All right.

Wesley, are you ready?

Joe believes that holding down a job teaches teenagers

how to become responsible adults.

What's the other kids doing back at home?

Oh, we're going to have all kinds of fun.

I thought we would lounge about on the couch and we might watch Manchester United.

Wes is starting work at the Erma Deli -

a traditional diner, run with a strong, American work ethic.

Most staff here do a ten-hour shift with only short breaks.

-I'm Fred, I'm the owner.

-Fred.

-What's your name?

-I'd like you to meet Wesley.

-Pleased to meet you.

Self-made man Frederick Todd owns the diner.

-What's that?

-I've never worked, really, so...

-You've never worked?

-No.

Really?

What are you, rich?

WESLEY LAUGHS No.

Come on back here.

-All right.

-See you later.

-Good luck.

-Will do.

-All right?

-OK.

Have a great day.

Wesley has never worked before.

Just give me some basic information.

Paul, the manager, tells Wes what's expected of an employee.

OK, the business we're in is creating the best experience

we can for people.

And we have zero-to-none level tolerance for letting anyone interrupt that.

The food service business is one of the hardest businesses there is in this country -

mentally, physically and everything above.

-I'll be right back.

-OK.

I'm very nervous.

Big guys, as well, big guys.

So I can't, like, charm my way out of it.

This is where you'll check in.

Today, Wes begins with a four-hour shift.

This is my office here, in case we have to lock you up or anything.

This time card slips under this red arrow.

You're now officially started.

Aww, I look like a total idiot!

Wes is starting his working life at the bottom - cleaning the toilets.

Oh, it's a floater.

It's not even going away!

Stinks.

They better be all working at home.

Eugh!

'I clean out other people's piss and shit.'

'It's just not pleasant. It's not a pleasant job to do.'

Thought I'd just be doing all the fun activities.

But I'm stuck here, cleaning toilets.

He told me he had life pretty good at home, you know?

I'm from just the opposite background.

I come from a house where you had to work

I was working at 12.

So my work ethic is a little different than his.

Sorry about this.

Tamsin has been kept at home by Joe and Scott.

They want some answers about her drug use.

What have you experimented with?

Meow, which is the drug that I had been doing, they sell as plant fertiliser.

You can't sell it in shops, but they pass it off as plant fertiliser so they can sell it.

-Plant fertiliser?

-Yeah.

-You're kidding.

-It's not actually plant fertiliser.

-What is it?

Uh, I don't know.

You're putting something into your body and you have no clue what it is?

Yeah.

Why would you do that?

Don't know.

What kind of an effect does it give you?

Like ecstasy.

It makes you just happy and...up.

It seems to me though, with this Meow Meow, I don't think Tamsin is happy doing that.

Meow Meow is the nickname for class B stimulant mephedrone.

Legal until April 2010,

it's popular amongst Tamsin's age group.

Year nines at school are just sitting there, sniffing it up. During school!

During school, people are doing it.

'Everyone is taking it.'

14-year-olds at schools are taking it.

I'm a bit...I don't know. Confused.

I don't need it to have a good night, but it makes the night more interesting.

The insane person is coming to get us.

And he's going to kill us.

No, he wont kill us. He's scared of me.

Cos I'm BAD.

Tamsin's drug use is a major barrier between her and her parents.

'I do try and have discussions with her but Tamsin is very adamant.'

She just completely blocks me and says,

"I do not take drugs. I am not..." for example,

and so I can't go any further in a discussion

about what things could mean

without her getting quite cross with me.

The dads are slowly getting Tamsin to open up, but they're concerned

she doesn't talk to anyone at home.

We talked about an open line of communication with our kids.

-Have you ever sat your mother down...

-I've spoken to her about it, yeah.

In a calm, rational fashion, or did you yell?

No. I cried.

There has to be someone that you trust enough to help you.

I don't trust anyone fully.

Honey, it's through talking that you're going to figure out the answers.

-It's through talking...

-I can't talk about it. It just hurts so much to talk about it.

If Tamsin can let down her barriers

and sit down with her mom and discuss this

with the idea that her mom isn't going to condemn her,

I think that is the point.

I think she's afraid of being condemned.

Disturbed by Tamsin's ignorance of what she's taking,

Scott and Joe decide to do their own research on Meow Meow.

Meow Meow, here.

"Its intended effects for recreational use

"are similar to those derived from speed, ecstasy and cocaine.

"It is thought to be used by children as young as nine.

"Side effects are thought to include

"nosebleeds, burning mouth and throat, headaches, nausea,

"high blood pressure, teeth grinding, joint pain, cold or blue fingers,

"anxiety, panic attacks, agitation,

"paranoia, heart palpitations, insomnia, weight loss, and memory problems."

Now, after reading that paragraph,

I don't think I'd be ordering any of this stuff.

Back at the deli, Wes has been moved off toilet duty...

Is it all right if I have a bit of soda, please?

..and taken a shine to waitress Britney.

She is cute, yeah.

She's got a boyfriend and stuff.

So why are you over here?

Erm, basically I need to get responsibility and grow up,

because I'm going to be a dad.

-You're going to be a dad?

-Yeah.

-I'm going to have a daughter.

-Well, congratulations.

I take it you're not even with the girl, but...

-I feel like you've just got to deal with it.

-I'm happy the way I live now,

and I don't want to change it, because I enjoy life and stuff.

And I feel like with this responsibility and stuff, it's...

Yeah, but then you should have been being responsible in other ways when you were out partying.

If you weren't partying so hard you would have remembered to use protection,

you wouldn't have a baby.

-You can't blame her.

-She told me she couldn't get pregnant.

Britney is not falling for Wesley's Mancunian charm.

I just feel, as a person, if you don't respect your ex-girlfriend and the situation that you're in,

-no other girl's ever going to respect you.

-Yeah.

I wouldn't date you, because I feel like you wouldn't respect me.

What if something happened with me? You'd be the same way.

-Know what I mean?

-Yeah.

-You don't respect the situation you're in, so...

-You're a fiery one, aren't you?! Wow.

Looks like my sex life is over.

Shit.

The reality of being a working man is wearing thin.

I can't take no more, I can't do no more.

I don't have the energy.

Exhausted, Wes finishes his shift.

Back at the house, Scott is taking Tamsin under his wing.

It's not real hard, trust me.

-OK.

-If you can play a cello, you can drive a car.

And he has a plan to try and break down Tamsin's barriers.

When you want to stop, brake.

-But you don't want to...

-Slam on the brake.

-You don't want to slam on the brake, cos if you do, I'm going through the windshield.

-OK.

I don't want to go through the windshield.

OK, start the car.

What way do I turn it?

ENGINE STARTS

OK. Put this in drive.

CAR BLEEPS

OK. There you go. You're driving!

OK. It's OK.

OK, now you want to stay on the road.

Stay on the road.

'It's a locked wall that she's put herself behind,'

and by doing one-on-one activities with her, it's someone showing an interest in her.

Slow, slow, slow.

'That's very important.'

OK, always look behind. Slow, slow, slow.

Put your foot on the brake. You're going to hit a tree. Stop, stop.

There's a car coming.

It's OK. Just swing around.

No, you went too much.

You went too much, honey. OK.

There, perfect. That's driving.

-You did it there, didn't you?

-Yeah.

Yeah, see?

I'm going to go take some blood pressure medicine!

I have a little question, a little favour to ask you.

What would you think if because of everything that you and I have gone through this week

and everything that we have done,

how would you feel about giving your mom a call, and talking to your mom for a few minutes?

I think she'd like to hear from you,

and I think that would be good if you called your mom.

-You know, just talk to your mom.

-Yeah.

-OK?

The purpose of giving a driving lesson to Tamsin was...

I was showing her I trust her.

I trusted her with my prized possession - my car.

Scott believes that if he trusts Tamsin, Tamsin will learn to trust him.

Four-four.

Hi, is this Mrs Cole?

Hi, Mrs Cole, this is Scott Loper.

How lovely to hear you. I just want to say thank you so, so much for doing this.

-Oh, you're quite welcome. I've got a little surprise for you, and here she is.

-OK. Thank you.

-Hello?

-'Tamsin!'

Hiya. You all right?

Hello, darling. I'm fine. How are you?

I'm good. What are you doing?

Oh, I'm just all excited because I'm speaking to you.

OK, Tams, so tell me. What have you got to tell me? How's it going?

Fine.

Do you want to tell me some things?

I can't do this.

What's wrong?

Mrs Cole?

Has she gone?

Yes.

She ran off.

She's hung up and gone off.

-Tamsin.

-Yeah?

-What happened?

-I just can't do this.

-Honey, open the door for me.

-No.

Oh, come on. Don't do this, please.

I wanted you to just talk to her and say "hi" to her.

But she asked me, she said, "What have you got to say to me?"

There's no helping her if she...

If she can't get past...

She cannot get past the wall she's built around herself.

Although Tamsin is unwilling to talk to her mum,

Scott refuses to give up.

It's a blame game. You're blaming each other.

That's why I said to you... What you simply need to say to her is,

"I need you to forgive me, I need to forgive you."

And then you open a door of communication with her.

And there is no, "You're a drug addict, and you're this, and you're that,"

and, "Well, OK, I'm a drug addict, but what are you?"

Do you understand?

Because really, it's not like you committed murder.

People make mistakes, we're not infallible.

We screw up.

I think it's really important that they're not being angry or anything like that

and they're just helping,

cos it kind of makes you not hate yourself for it.

I was hoping that Tamsin would be able to say to her mother,

"You know, I have problems."

That "I want your help."

That's what I was hoping she would say,

but Tamsin didn't.

DOG BARKING

OK, we're ready. The kids can eat.

Today, Wesley has decided to tell Scott and Joe the real reason why he's been sent to America.

I found out a couple of months ago that I'm going to be a dad.

-You're going to be a dad?

-Yeah.

-So are you looking forward to being a father?

-Not really.

-Not really?

-No.

Just trying to push it to one side and just not think about it,

and just think about myself and have a good time.

-You don't want to think about it?

-No.

But you know what, I can't imagine a bigger responsibility than being a father to someone.

I know, but I feel like at this age I shouldn't have any responsibilities.

I can't even look after myself, let alone a kid.

My feeling really is, you've done this,

then you need to figure out and step up and become a man.

The best thing to think about now is, "What is the child's future going to be?"

But I didn't choose it, though.

Well, you did, by having sexual intercourse without proper protection. You did choose it.

In a family made up of adopted kids, Wes's attitude has not gone down well.

Kind of makes me angry because if you don't take responsibility,

there's a lot of stuff that can happen to your kid,

and it can ruin people's lives. Especially that kid.

'He doesn't take any responsibility for his actions.'

He doesn't take any responsibility, apparently, for anything at all,

and that kind of attitude really isn't going to wash.

Not with us, and certainly not with the future baby.

It's Wesley's second day at the diner.

With Joe's words ringing in his ears, he's started to knuckle down.

Where would you need a bin?

His improved attitude has not gone unnoticed.

Listen, what we're going to do now is recognise that I'm real pleased

with your attention to detail, and initiatives, and things I've asked you to do.

So what we've decided to do is take the balance of the day,

and promote you to engaging with the customers.

So look at this, this is something that you've earned. All right, boss?

-All right.

-Congratulations.

-Thank you.

Gosh.

Yeah, today's going a lot better now.

It's something I've always wanted to do, so I want to see if I'm any good at it.

Promoted to waiter, Wes needs to maintain a high standard of service.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-You all right?

-I'm fine, how are you?

-I'm OK, thanks. What would you all like to drink?

-A coke, please.

-A coke.

-Same for me.

-Same.

-Water.

-Water.

-Does the little one want a drink?

-No, she's fine.

-Do you want it from the fountain or the case?

-I want fountain.

-I want the case.

-OK.

I think you did really good. Really good for the first time.

-Do they get refills on this?

-Yes. Three refills.

All right. You're going to take these out.

-Take it back out to the guy in the green shirt.

-There you go, sir.

-You're doing a fine job.

-Cheers. Thank you. Thanks.

It's been a big jump, from cleaning bins

to being out the front and interacting with people and taking orders.

'It's good when someone throws something at you and you've not done it before,

'and you have to step up your game, and you have to just go straight into it,'

and you have to forget about the nerves and try your best.

I've enjoyed it, yeah. It's been good.

-Thank you.

-There you go.

-Thank you.

Enjoy it.

-Thank you.

-All right.

Order in!

-Got that part down!

-He's got that part down.

-OK, boss. It's been good having you.

-Brilliant.

-I hope the experience was good for you.

-I've loved it, every minute of it.

-Your wages.

-Oh, thanks very much.

-Enjoy yourself, enjoy the rest of your visit in the country.

-Oh, brilliant.

Thanks for letting us come and work here. I've really enjoyed it.

30, 50, 70, 80, 85,

86.

I feel like an adult, I really do.

I feel like...

you know, this is something that you need to do.

Instead of blowing away and getting pissed and stuff,

I want to put it to good use,

and buy something which I'll feel good about and be proud of.

Quality!

Scott and Tamsin have headed downtown for some quality time together.

Well, we are here.

-We're doing a little father-daughter type of thing.

-Oh, that's wonderful.

And then I'm going to tickle her later.

My daughter makes me do this all the time. This is a nice time, cos it's quiet.

-Now, it's your mom that's from Australia, right?

-Yeah.

-OK. And so your dad is from England?

-He's English, yeah.

I think it's 13 or 14 years ago my dad got kidney failure.

Wow. Wow.

-That's got to be a horrible thing to go though.

-Yeah.

Did you see a change when he went on the medication at all?

When he has the last transplant, yeah, his face swelled up a lot.

Yeah. He's had a transplant before?

Yeah. He's had three.

So I guess he can't work, right?

He's been working the whole time, but he's better now.

My mum gave him a kidney in February.

I imagine it's really, really stressful on your mom.

They say that also recuperation time

is a lot longer when you give one than when you are actually getting one.

Yeah, it was weird having them both ill, cos I'm not used to it.

-My mum never gets ill.

-You ran the house, didn't you? I know.

-What was your childhood like?

-My childhood was different.

A lot different than yours.

I was adopted. Badly, badly treated.

I was burned, I had my jaw broken with a lead pipe.

And what saved me was I told.

I told what was going on, and I was put into a national registry,

and I ended up here.

I gave my parents a lot of grief for a long time.

But my parents stuck by me, and they still stick by me.

I love my mom. My mom was very dear to me.

-That's why with your mom, talk to your mom.

-Yeah.

You have no idea. You have no idea.

Now try to get by!

'I just feel bad that I've taken it all for granted and not appreciated them enough'

and not said thank you enough for them being there

and supporting me through everything and every decision I've made.

With only a few months until the birth of his baby,

Joe has a special job for Wes.

Where are we going?

We're going to go down to one of the neighbours' homes.

They have some odd jobs and chores that they would like you to take care of for them.

And I told them that you, given your newfound work ethic,

would be thrilled.

-Well, everyone else seems to be having...

-Fun?

-Fun, yeah.

-Yeah. Don't you hate that?

-Yeah, missing that.

-You know what that's called?

-What?

-Adult responsibility.

-All right?

-Yeah.

Yeah. It's the new you, Wes.

-Hello.

-How are you? I'm Andrea.

I actually asked you to come over so you can help me with my son.

He is 14 months old,

and his name's Trey.

-Wow.

-Now, these are all his toys.

I'm actually going to make him lunch if you could keep him occupied for a minute.

Yeah!

Go on! Go get it! Go on!

Go on!

What's that you've got there?

Ooh, we'll build something.

Want to put it together? Yeah.

WES LAUGHS

I'm just overwhelmed. He's a really cute kid and stuff.

Whizz-oh!

Oh!

You can feed him lunch.

Er...

THEY LAUGH

-Yeah.

-Look at that.

"Chicks dig me." Yeah!

So you kind of just give him a spoonful, and he'll open up.

Oh! Look at that.

Don't worry if the bib gets messy or his mouth gets messy.

That's part of the whole thing.

You like yoghurt?

Look at that. Whoa.

-So I hear that you're going to have a baby soon.

-Yeah, I am, yeah.

-Three months.

-Three months, wow.

So it's scary stuff.

Yeah, it is. It's scary but it's exciting.

-I know this one's a really nice kid, so...

-Yeah.

Look, we're done.

Oh, good job!

All gone.

-It's good fun.

-Yeah. Yeah.

Wow.

It's like... Seeing him pick up the drink, and running around...

He's just a little person, really.

It's just a nice feeling, it is.

It just hit me, just seeing him pick up his own bottle,

and smile and wave his little self.

That'll be me in a few years' time, so...

I just want to do the best I can, be a good dad.

It's not wanting to be a part of my daughter's life at the beginning,

I'm just thinking about myself and that.

Just selfish. And I feel guilty, and the baby's mum, I feel guilty.

My family and that. And...

I feel guilty cos I could've done a lot more from day one and...

I could've been there and... been more a part of things.

And I'm just grateful that it's...

It's, you know, not too late.

Wes decides to go shopping with his hard-earned dollars.

For once, he's spending his cash on someone other than himself.

-Good luck with your daughter.

-Thanks.

And enjoy her, cos guess what? They grow fast - real quick.

-Cheers. Thanks for everything.

-Thank you. Good luck to you.

The British teenagers' time in New Jersey has come to an end.

I truly hope that Wesley will be a good dad.

I think he realises now that he needs to put aside his immaturity

and get on about being a man.

See youse all soon, yeah?

The family's just amazing and they're just full of joy.

'They've been through so much, they just know how to work as a team

'and be together and be there for each other and help out.'

Take care, man.

-Look after yourself, yeah?

-I'll miss you, man.

-Going to miss you.

But Scott has an unexpected proposal for Tamsin.

'My fear is that within three hours of Tamsin returning home,

'she'll have her mom drive her to Brighton

'and she'll be with her friends,

'and it will start all over again. The drugs,'

the partying and nothing has been accomplished.

Because Tamsin is going to do whatever Tamsin can do to run away.

Now, I called you in here for a reason.

Mm.

How would you feel about staying here...

for a couple more weeks with me?

I'd love to.

-Would you?

-Yeah.

We would love to have you stay.

I'm going to teach you to communicate with your mom and your dad.

I promised you last night, I would be behind you.

You're kind of like mine!

Hi, Mum!

May I stay in America for a little bit longer?

Tamsin, of course you can.

-'Will you promise to stay in touch with me, darling?'

-I'll call you every day.

-OK. That sounds good to me.

-As long as you don't cry.

-I'm trying not to.

-OK.

-Dad and I just want you to know we love you dearly.

I love you all very much.

If you can talk to me, you can talk to her.

-Thank you so much.

-You're welcome, honey.

'It is going to be hard. I am going to miss home a lot'

but it's needed to stay here

because I do need a bit more time and...I'm really glad I've been given the opportunity.

Tamsin! I can't believe I'm not going home with you.

-I'm going to miss hugging you.

-I'll miss you.

This is it!

Don't party too hard.

I won't.

Does the case go in the back or the side?

-In the back.

-'Joe and Scott have inspired me.'

I want to be the best dad I can be.

You're amazing. You're both amazing, honestly.

-You be a good boy.

-Thank you.

You're brilliant dads, absolutely brilliant.

You are going to be a brilliant dad too.

Joe and Scott have helped me by just being there and just guiding me and just giving me good advice.

They're very blunt and you know, say how it is and what's going to happen and they made me more prepared.

Hi, Mum.

-Aw! I missed you.

-I missed you.

-Aw.

Aw, these are beautiful. Proper American clothes. That's cute.

These are gorgeous. Did you get satisfaction of buying this out of your own money?

I did. I did. I wanted to.

-So you've learned a lot from it then.

-I have, actually. Really have.

-Within a week, you've learned all this?

-Honestly.

It was there in the back of my head but it just needed pushing.

Two weeks later, and Tamsin is finally ready to head home.

-'It's really nice of you to call.'

-Yeah.

Tamsin has been in daily contact with her mum and dad.

-'Have you turned into the Cookie Monster now?'

-Yep.

-'Cookies!'

I've definitely learned a lot about being honest and communicating with my mum.

I'm wonderful and I got you to talk.

-Mmm.

-Aw!

'If you can get a child to trust you enough to talk to you,'

that's the key.

'You have to make them feel safe.'

And you have to make them feel that you're not going to condemn them for what they've done.

I feel really positive about everything. I just...

I don't know, I feel like I've finally got my life on track.

'I feel so much happier because I know that'

when I go home, I won't be sad because I'll be able to have

a relationship with my family that I haven't had before.

'I want to make my mum proud of me. I've got an amazing family...'

and shouldn't treat them like shit or take it for granted.

Tamsin will not be travelling alone.

Am I looking forward to going to England?

Uh... Hell, yeah.

Take care, take good care of Tamsin.

Tell Tamsin's mom and dad I said "hi", all right?

Oh, sweetheart. Goodbye.

It's been three weeks since

Tamsin walked away from her mum at the airport.

TAMSIN SOBS

Thank you so much for everything.

Aw.

Tamsin is finally able to face her mother and tell her the truth.

I know that when I was taking drugs, my behaviour at home was changing a lot,

but it was just because I was just having fun...

and...

the bad side of it I was taking out on you.

I am really sorry for that.

I do realise now what it did to me.

And...

I'm never going to take Meow again.

That's a big relief to hear.

-I love you.

-I'm really proud you're my daughter as well.

-Sorry I put you through so much.

-I'm sorry it's been hard for you.

'Hearing Tamsin talk about having taken drugs

'is a relief to hear, really,'

because then suddenly everything completely slots into place and makes sense.

I'm so proud of you.

Thank you.

'The step that she made today was...monumental.

'For her to be able to say, "This is who I am,

'"this is what I've been doing,"'

really showed a lot of guts.

-You did that on your own.

-You did.

-You did that on your own.

-Oh, don't cry.

Thank you.

Next time on The World's Strictest Parents...

-No cigarettes...

-That's fine!

Little rich girl Nicole Benham...

Don't snatch!

..and lazy layabout Nathan Ballance...

-Used wrappers.

-Used wrappers, not condoms.

..get new parents in Barbados.

-I am 16...

-You are not in the UK, you are in Barbados!

I told you this morning!

You are a woman, stand your ground! You cuss at me, stand your ground!

-I'm not going to stand and argue with that psychotic bitch.

-I'd like to take the two of them

and give both of them a hard slap around their heads.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd