Barbados The World's Strictest Parents


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Around the world, many parents raise their kids on a diet of strict discipline...

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It's our responsibility as parents to be in control of the music that

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they listen to, the movies they watch, and the friends they have.

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-Rub, rub, rub.

-..rigid boundaries...

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Am I friends with my children?

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No. I'm not your friend, I'm your parent.

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..and the meaning of consequences.

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My dad is really strict.

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Phew, if you break the rules, he can be very scary.

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But can traditional parenting change the lives of rebellious British teenagers?

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I was brought here,

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on this Earth, to party.

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She can be an absolute nightmare. It's awful.

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My lifestyle is playing Xbox and getting hammered.

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You, I'm getting you! I went to anger management.

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Got kicked out of anger management for being angry.

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No-one can tell me what to do.

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Not even the Queen of England can tell me what to do.

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He's slapped me, he's poked me, he's pushed me. He's done it all.

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I am what I am. If you don't like it, then jog on.

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To find out, two teens who've never met before will leave their fraught families behind.

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-Maybe she'll come back home and be nice.

-Doubt it.

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And head off to the far corners of the world,

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where they will live according to strict rules imposed by new parents.

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You are not in the UK, you are in Barbados.

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They are the most awful people I've ever met in my whole life.

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If she wants to throw a hissy fit, she can have her hissy fit.

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-I'm going home, bruv.

-What are you going to do?

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This is our rule. If you're going to cop an attitude about it, forget it.

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-What's the point?

-It's a matter of trust!

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If this is how they are, I'm sorry for Britain.

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I'm waiting for you to give me money so I can get ready to go.

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"Mum, can I borrow some money," you really should say, shouldn't you?

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-Are you going to give it me back?

-Yes, I will.

-When?

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When I get a job. I'll give you all your money back when I get a job.

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17-year-old Nicole Benham thinks the world owes her a living.

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-No cigarettes.

-Yes, fine!

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Don't snatch, Nicole, for God's sake.

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'She's lazy. She's obnoxious.'

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She's just turned into a brat.

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She should give me more money, because I do live quite an extravagant lifestyle.

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That's her job, she's meant to fund what I do.

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I love Champagne.

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I like finer restaurants as well.

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Snails and...

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gnocchi and stuff like that. I have acquired taste.

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Nicole has never lived with her father. Her parents separated before she was born.

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I don't know much about my dad, and where he's from. I don't see him much, I don't want to see him.

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Mum was only 18 when she had Nicole, and struggled to bring her up.

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From nine-months-old, Nicole was raised by her grandparents.

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She was a happy, happy-go-lucky little girl.

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She was just a joy to have.

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This one of Nicole was when she went to boarding school.

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I think this was just before she went off the rails.

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But growing up as a mixed-race child in rural Devon, she often felt the odd one out.

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That's Nicole.

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There was only about 100 people in her primary school, and there were no coloured children at all there.

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We need glasses.

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-Cheers, girl.

-Mum!

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-Need another cup.

-'It's been a nightmare, you know?'

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An absolute nightmare. Our health has suffered because of it.

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'She's just so lazy.

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'She won't get up, she's smoking.

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'I don't know if she's doing drugs.'

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She just rebels against anything.

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-Bye!

-Bye, Chrissie!

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I'm going to be sick!

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-You just don't care, do you?

-Not really.

-BLEEP

-off, Mum, seriously. You're pissing me off.

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She's destroying me. She's destroyed my parents.

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I find it terribly upsetting.

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She's really got to grow up and realise,

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what you put in, you get out.

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And she's not putting stuff in at the moment.

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-What are you doing later on today, love?

-I don't know.

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-What d'you mean, "don't know?"

-Can you shut up? I'm trying to play.

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Only three things are important to 16-year-old Nathan Ballance.

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My lifestyle is playing Xbox, getting hammered and having sex.

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Nathan is not a little shit, he's a big shit.

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But a very charming big shit, at the best of times.

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I've slept with about 24 people and that's what I tell to the lads.

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But if I'm talking to the lasses, I tell them about five. It makes me sound like less of a slag.

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-All in all, he's a spoilt little

-BLEEP.

-Sponging off everybody.

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Nathan was kicked out of school without a single GCSE, but life's never been better.

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I don't really see the point in getting a job, because if

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you want to enjoy your life, there's no point in getting one.

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I work anything from 30 to 40 hours a week and I come in, and I still have to cook. I still have to clean.

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'Because he does absolutely nothing.'

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-Used wrappers?

-Used wrappers, not condoms. Just the wrappers.

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No, I actually used a piece of tissue and picked them up and put them in the bin for you.

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Nathan's parents split up when he was four.

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He rarely sees his dad, so mum has to deal with his angry outbursts alone.

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-Mucky sock, mucky underwear.

-BLEEP

-you!

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If I'm not in a good mood, yeah, I am very aggressive.

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He'll tell me how much he hates me, how useless I am, how it's all my fault.

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I've had enough of holes in the walls and knife marks through doors.

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I've had enough of it.

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'I'm very scared when he gets in a bad temper.'

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-Go on, Nathan, you can get up and get out of the way.

-Oh, shut up,

-BLEEP

-you.

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I don't know what he's capable of. Sometimes I've thought he would hit me.

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As it stands at the moment, Nathan's future holds absolutely nothing.

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To try and get their lives back on track, both teenagers have agreed

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to spend a week living with some of the world's strictest parents.

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-Right, then.

-See you.

-See you in a few days.

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-Don't give them any harder time than you give me.

-I won't.

-All right.

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Enjoy yourself. See you later.

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I'm hoping Nathan comes back as a different person because

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he needs to for his own self being, to get off his backside and learn.

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Give us a kiss. Don't be so bloody awkward! Give your sister a cuddle.

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Please be good, Nicole. Promise me.

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-Yep, see you later.

-See you later. Be good.

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Loving child, isn't she?

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-Maybe she'll come back and be nice, loving and...

-Doubt it.

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I just hope she comes back and realises

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what we do mean to her, not just

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people she can use and abuse.

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-Hi. I'm Nicole.

-I'm Nathan.

-Nice to meet you.

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The teens are heading to Barbados.

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An island paradise, and playground for millionaires and celebrities.

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But here they will be staying with the Harris family.

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Seven Day Adventists who live their lives by the letter of the Bible.

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Mum Andrea is a primary school teacher, and dad Kenrick is an IT consultant.

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We are a Christian-minded, Christian-oriented family.

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God first, then you have family.

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# All things bright and beautiful All creatures great and small... #

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'We would describe ourselves as strict but fair parents.'

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Our family believes in discipline,

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we believe in our children trying to live to the highest of their potential.

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The Harris approach to parenting has made eight-year-old Ashley and 16-year-old Kendria model daughters.

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Number one discipline in the house is lashes.

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When I lose my temper, a lot of things can happen!

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My voice raises.

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My body language is more in a fighting mode.

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The children have been brought up to pull their weight in the family home.

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I have to wash the dishes.

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I wash the wheels...

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Clean my bedroom, clean the windows.

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Wash clothes, press...

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-Clean the car.

-Sweep the house.

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Mop. That's all.

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After a long flight the teens finally arrive in the Caribbean.

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I would like to have a cigarette now after 12 hours of not having one.

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Barbados is a former British colony and its laws are based on our own.

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You have to be 18 to drink or smoke.

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There's a Heineken shop!

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Can we get out here, please? Please, please.

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The temptation proves irresistible.

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I just wanted a nice cold beer and a cigarette for the road.

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So I've got that.

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I've got another 20 cigs in my bag, I just bought a pack of 20 and two pouches of baccy.

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I'm putting up with a strict family

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so I'm going to have to smoke like a double the amount just to put up with them.

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It looks like shacks, like beach shacks.

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It's not that I expected. I expected nice like Sandals hotels and stuff.

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From the moment the teens arrive they will be subject to the same strict rules as the Harris children.

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Come on in, welcome.

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-Would you like a hand?

-Yes, please, thank you.

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Hi. I'm Andrea.

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Hi, Andrea, I'm Nicole.

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-I'm Nathan.

-Nice to meet you.

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It's late, so the Harrises' plan is to get the teens tucked up in bed as quickly as possible.

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For tonight, just to let you all know, there is no smoking...

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So if you have any cigarettes you have to hand them over now.

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I'm sorry, but that's not going to happen.

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-I can't go eight days without smoking.

-Nathan...

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-Well, Nathan...

-That's not going to happen. It's my choice to smoke.

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Nathan, you will go eight days without smoking.

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Nathan, if you don't hand over the cigarettes right now you can take your journey back through the door.

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Lovely. Thank you.

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I ain't stopping smoking.

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That's being disrespectful. Yes, Nicole?

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I don't have any cigarettes on me.

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Do you have any alcohol, do you have any drugs on you?

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No, I don't have any intoxicating substances on me.

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OK, so if we find out you're telling lies you are going to be in trouble

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because I did not expect this night to start like this.

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For Nathan, the Harrises' tough stance is unsettling.

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I'm pretty surprised, to be fair.

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I'm willing to just smoke what I've got on me, they'll be gone by the end of tomorrow, easily,

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then I'm willing not to buy any more,

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and give it a try. Sort of.

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Just as he would at home, at Nathan wants to argue his way around the rules.

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Now let me find out, you're going to hand over the cigarettes.

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I've made a very good compromise that's fair on both of us.

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I'll smoke what I've got left, all I've got left is half a packet in my pocket.

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We will go with what we want and right now

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the situation is we have decided there will be no more smoking.

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Well, I'm sorry, I am 16, I'm legally classed an adult, I am old enough...

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You are not in the UK, you're in Barbados!

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And you are an adult at 18 years old, my man, not at 16!

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So you don't tell me nothing that you are legally an adult, you're not an adult here!

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You've been to school, haven't you? I don't know.

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Everyone knows about...

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I can't remember his name now.

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The guy who did "I have a dream," the speech.

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ANDREA: Mmm-hmm. Martin Luther King.

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He stood up for human rights, your human right...

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Nathan, you are not... You are talking out of turn.

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You will have a human right when you get back home, but not here.

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-You have human rights all over the world.

-Nathan, I finish. I am finished.

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Done, excuse me.

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-This discussion don't finish in five minutes, you go in your bed.

-OK.

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Right, so you watch the clock. OK? Good.

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-NATHAN:

-I can't be arsed with this shit.

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ANDREA: Nathan, watch the language.

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ANDREA: 'I figured there was going to be some strangeness tonight but not as far as this.'

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He is not even trying to comply.

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If I back down now, my children lose respect for me.

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Until Nathan accepts the rules, the Harrises won't have him under their roof.

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He will spend the night in a local motel to consider his options.

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No-one has ever refused to back down against me, so I was being stubborn basically and not budging.

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It's a change...

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A very shocking change.

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Hello? Good morning.

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Nicole.

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Time to get up.

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In the Harris household, every day begins at dawn.

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After his night in a motel, Nathan has come to a decision.

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Good morning, Nathan. It is nice to see you.

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How was your rest last night? OK, Nathan, remember last night

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we talked about the cigarettes. So you have to hand over all of them.

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'I thought about it last night and I might as well see what sort of people they are.'

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I am willing to abide by their rules, see what it is like living as a teenager over here.

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The Bible preaches "honour thy mother and father."

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Nathan and Nicole, you can come through that door, please.

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To avoid any confusion, the Harrises have spelt out exactly what that means in black and white.

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Well, good morning once again and welcome to our home.

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What these are are rules of love. These are the kind of things

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that we expect from young persons growing up.

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They are going to give you some kind of control as you go forward in life,

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because in life there are rules that we have to live by each and every single day.

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There you go, Nicole.

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There you go, Nathan.

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Before we go any further, do you have any other cigarettes or tobacco

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that you have not handed over to us?

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No. I gave you all I've got.

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We are going to accept that for now.

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We are a strictly religious family and we will not tolerate people taking the Lord's name in vain.

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No unruly behaviour.

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This includes no slamming of doors, no raising of voices.

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No illegal drugs of any type, none.

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Whether it be snorting, smoking, nothing.

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No sexual activity except between married consenting adults.

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That's only the two of us, in this case, no-one else.

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So no sneaking into each other's room.

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If you break these rules, punishment will include any combination of the following -

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going to bed early, removal of privileges, additional chores, scolding.

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-Ultimately, as parents we have full authority.

-OK.

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The Harrises want to seal the deal with a prayer.

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Dear eternal God in Heaven, we thank you, dear Jesus, for just being with us this morning.

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You will bless these young people in our midst, you will help us be a guidance to them.

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'I think they're actual, like, psychopaths.'

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They don't understand what normal people are like.

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It is a bit of a shock to us because that sort of thing would never happen with my parents.

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It's just a completely new experience.

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I've got all my contraband in my bra, basically, and it's just staying there.

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Let's load up.

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As fully fledged members of the Harris family,

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the teens are joining Kenrick to help with the weekly family shop.

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Disgusting.

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It is? It's the smell of fresh fish.

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It's disgusting, the smell is like actually sickening. It's just mad.

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I don't even like fish, which is the funniest thing.

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Thank you.

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I'm just looking for somewhere to go for a smoke without the dad following us.

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It's their first outing on the island and Kenrick wants to make sure they are safe at all times.

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Do not move from here. I'll be right back.

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But for the teens, a moment's freedom is too much to resist.

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They head off for a crafty smoke.

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The teens' disappearing act has alarmed Kenrick.

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We're going to get in so much...

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Nathan?

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Nicole, Nathan, Nathan, Nicole, Nicole, come back.

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Come back, Nicole!

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Come back.

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-Nicole, come here.

-I feel quite intimidated by you.

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Maybe if you really felt intimidated you'd do as I say.

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But I don't get the impression you really feel intimidated right now.

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-OK.

-The first chance you got, you went and smoked.

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Although you might not know I can see, I can see what you're doing.

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-OK.

-I don't have eyes in the back of my head but I'm extremely observant.

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Nicole. Nicole!

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Nicole!

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Excuse me one minute.

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Could you please stop, I need to speak to you one minute.

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Let me explain to you one more time.

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I'm a bit annoyed at the whole situation so I really need to stop and think about it

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as I drive back up the road as to what would be additional...

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Hold on, hold on, there they go again.

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Let me just go and find out where they're going again this time.

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The teens finally stop running and daughter Kendria is not amused.

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Right now I am really, really upset.

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My parents will have no...

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..hesitation flogging you, as he calls it.

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Exactly. I'm not willing to just bend over

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-and be like, "Come on, yeah, spank me, baby," for

-BLEEP

-sake. No.

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I think you should go and find my father.

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Apologise and let us go home and see what happens there.

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OK, we're back.

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Kenrick has called ahead to tell his wife about the teens' behaviour.

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Andrea is determined to get to the bottom of what has gone on.

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It seems to be that somebody here did something.

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I want to hear your side of the story, Nicole.

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-I can't remember.

-No, hello, hello!

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-Hi!

-Don't go there with me.

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You did something, 'fess up.

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We discussed this this morning.

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Nathan, what went on? I want to hear your part of the story.

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We smoked and sat on the beach.

0:20:550:20:58

You told Mr Harris you was going for a smoke or something, you just walked away?

0:20:580:21:04

-We just walked off.

-You just walked off? I can't trust the two of you to go anywhere together

0:21:040:21:08

because it seems somebody is a bad influence on somebody else.

0:21:080:21:12

Let me talk to you woman to woman, because you is a woman.

0:21:120:21:15

Andrea is accustomed to her children listening respectfully during a scolding.

0:21:150:21:19

I want you to look at me because you must look at me. You know why?

0:21:190:21:24

Listen to hear why you must, don't give me that talk.

0:21:240:21:26

I don't look at anyone when I speak to them, I'm not going to look at you.

0:21:260:21:29

Even if you don't look now you're going to look eventually, you know why?

0:21:290:21:34

Because you want to be treated as a woman.

0:21:340:21:37

"Look at me, world, I'm 17!

0:21:370:21:40

"I can smoke, I can drink, I can do what I want!"

0:21:400:21:44

But still you cannot take no advice from nobody.

0:21:440:21:47

You only act tough but you ain't tough.

0:21:470:21:50

I don't act tough at all.

0:21:500:21:52

Yes, you do, you are very mouthy... shut up, I'm not finished, when I'm done you will have time to talk.

0:21:520:21:57

-Don't tell me to shut up.

-I will say shut up, so shut up, because I told you already this morning...

0:21:570:22:02

-Get the...

-I told you this morning!

-BLEEP

-off,

-BLEEP

-you! Seriously. Get off me!

0:22:020:22:08

You are a woman, stand your ground, you're cussing me, stand your ground!

0:22:080:22:14

Stand your ground!

0:22:140:22:16

You is a woman, stand your ground!

0:22:170:22:20

You're not a woman, you are a child!

0:22:200:22:22

You don't even know how to behave.

0:22:220:22:24

-Nicole?

-She's a baby.

0:22:240:22:28

I'm not going to stand there and argue with that psychotic bitch.

0:22:330:22:36

-Seriously. What the

-BLEEP

-wrong with her.

0:22:360:22:39

-I think she's mentally ill, seriously. She must be.

-BLEEP.

0:22:390:22:43

I am not so big a person that if she talks to me I can't apologise for something.

0:22:450:22:51

If she thinks I need to apologise, I will hear her out.

0:22:510:22:54

But if she is a woman she needs to come back and we need to talk about this and she needs to apologise.

0:22:540:22:59

As a stand off develops, Kenrick is getting the measure of Nicole's behaviour.

0:22:590:23:04

There is something definitely wrong there where she runs each and every time somebody stands up to her.

0:23:040:23:11

When Andrea leaves to take Kendria to music school, Nicole dares to return to the house.

0:23:140:23:21

-Nicole.

-Hi.

0:23:210:23:24

-Welcome back.

-Thank you.

0:23:240:23:26

Is there anything you want to say?

0:23:260:23:29

-Nothing at all?

-No.

0:23:290:23:31

I am very nervous about Andrea's return.

0:23:350:23:41

I don't know how to carry myself when she's around.

0:23:410:23:45

I just don't know what to do.

0:23:450:23:47

Good evening.

0:23:510:23:53

Yes, ma'am, Miss Nicole?

0:23:590:24:03

You ready to talk now?

0:24:030:24:05

Come this way.

0:24:050:24:07

Now, Nicole, I am not pleased with your attitude, I am not pleased with it at all.

0:24:090:24:14

I will apologise for coming in your face

0:24:140:24:17

but I will not apologise

0:24:170:24:19

for losing my temper and trying to speak to you.

0:24:190:24:23

I don't know you but I care about you. I can look at you and tell you so.

0:24:230:24:28

But you have to care about Nicole because I can care all I like, talk all I like,

0:24:280:24:35

it's not going to make a difference unless Nicole wants it to make a difference.

0:24:350:24:40

So again, the ball is in your court.

0:24:400:24:42

'I don't know how I'm going to cope for the rest of the week.'

0:24:480:24:51

What I do when things start getting heavy, because I don't like arguments,

0:24:510:24:55

I don't like confrontation, I just back off.

0:24:550:24:58

If I was at home, I'd go to my room or take the dog for a walk,

0:24:580:25:01

but here I can't do that because it's not my house.

0:25:010:25:04

Today has been a really hard day.

0:25:060:25:08

The family are just crazy, they really are.

0:25:080:25:13

It's really hard.

0:25:130:25:15

Nathan? Come on, time to rise and shine.

0:25:250:25:28

Move it.

0:25:280:25:30

For the Harris family, a good education is the foundation for a successful and happy life.

0:25:300:25:35

So today, Nicole and Nathan will be attending school.

0:25:350:25:39

What's the time?

0:25:390:25:40

5.30am? Seriously?

0:25:450:25:49

Six months ago, Nicole was expelled from a private boarding school,

0:25:520:25:56

whilst Nathan left school at 14 without a single qualification.

0:25:560:26:01

Don't laugh!

0:26:010:26:03

That's not going to stay.

0:26:050:26:07

Nicole, are you looking forward to going to school?

0:26:070:26:10

Yeah, I'm really looking forward to going to school.

0:26:120:26:15

The teens are heading to Harrison College, one of the most

0:26:160:26:20

prestigious schools on the island, having produced five out of the six previous prime ministers.

0:26:200:26:25

The headmaster is Winston Crichlow who attributes much of his success to firm discipline.

0:26:250:26:30

We do have corporal punishment still on the statute books.

0:26:300:26:34

There are many other measures that we take

0:26:340:26:36

to ensure our students are well-disciplined.

0:26:360:26:40

For Kenrick, the teens' behaviour will be a matter of great personal pride.

0:26:400:26:45

Nathan, you're attending my old school, Harrison College.

0:26:450:26:51

I spent many good years here, didn't give too much trouble

0:26:510:26:55

and I will expect the same thing from you both today.

0:26:550:26:59

Remember, there may be a temptation here and there.

0:26:590:27:02

Some cigarettes or whatever knocking around.

0:27:020:27:06

I will be seeing you again this afternoon and I am expecting a good report.

0:27:060:27:11

-Have a good day.

-Thank you.

-OK, then. Bye-bye.

0:27:130:27:17

While Barbados has a state school system, Harrison College is like

0:27:170:27:21

the Eton of the island, attended by the most privileged pupils.

0:27:210:27:26

In honour of their British guests, the school have arranged a welcoming committee.

0:27:260:27:31

I want welcome both of you to Harrison College.

0:27:310:27:35

We are very firm on discipline.

0:27:350:27:38

We expect you to fall in line.

0:27:380:27:40

Rule number one is very important in our school, a breach of common sense is a breach of the school rules.

0:27:400:27:46

If you do something silly or stupid, you will be punished.

0:27:460:27:49

For the young lady, are you wearing eye make-up?

0:27:490:27:52

-Yes.

-You have to wash it off. We don't allow make-up here at school.

0:27:520:27:57

We are glad to have you and hope you enjoy your time here.

0:27:570:28:02

-They can

-BLEEP

-off because I am not staying here.

0:28:020:28:06

Not if I have to take my make-up off. No. I'm running away. I'm being serious.

0:28:060:28:10

I am not doing that because I am not myself when I haven't got make-up on. They can bugger off.

0:28:100:28:15

Their first class is taught by the appropriately-named Miss Lashley.

0:28:150:28:21

OK, welcome to our class. This is English literature

0:28:210:28:24

and we are happy to have you and eager to hear what you say about yourselves.

0:28:240:28:29

Hi, I am Nicole.

0:28:290:28:30

I am from England and I don't go to school because I have been kicked out of three schools.

0:28:300:28:36

Yeah.

0:28:360:28:40

I'm Nathan, I am from the UK, too. I left school when I was 14 now I am not doing owt.

0:28:400:28:47

Any questions?

0:28:470:28:48

What are your hobbies?

0:28:480:28:51

Go drinking, take drugs and sleep all day.

0:28:510:28:55

That's what I do, honestly, that's what I do in England is nothing.

0:28:550:28:59

So, you mean like, marijuana or cocaine, or...

0:28:590:29:02

That's a good question.

0:29:020:29:04

There's marijuana, coke, crack, ecstasy, speed.

0:29:040:29:10

Anything you can get your hands on.

0:29:140:29:16

Anything you can get.

0:29:160:29:17

It's kind of scary knowing that you are at the same age as us and you've been doing drugs for so long.

0:29:170:29:23

We would never even imagine doing this stuff on a daily basis. It's just wrong!

0:29:230:29:31

I thought it was pure rubbish. I find it lazy and a lack of direction

0:29:310:29:35

and lack of respect altogether for

0:29:350:29:37

your parents, your friends, all those who are close to you.

0:29:370:29:41

-Yeah.

-Make some room for Nathan and Nicole in the class because I want

0:29:410:29:44

to set some work I think is important coming out of our discussions so far.

0:29:440:29:51

Everybody is going to do this and it is going to be read out in class.

0:29:510:29:56

You are writing on mistakes you have made in your life.

0:29:560:30:00

The lessons you have learned so far.

0:30:000:30:02

This gives everybody a chance to reflect.

0:30:020:30:06

It's only the first class of the day and Nathan has already given up.

0:30:060:30:11

Back in the UK, you will never find kids like these.

0:30:110:30:14

Everybody cares about having fun and enjoying theirselves, really.

0:30:140:30:18

It makes me feel like I am a piece of shit on someone's shoe.

0:30:180:30:23

They are all so determined to do well in their life.

0:30:230:30:28

At Harrison College, appearances are important.

0:30:280:30:31

Nicole is pulled up for a second time.

0:30:310:30:36

Show her the bathroom so she can remove this make-up from her face.

0:30:360:30:41

If you look, you'll see my students are not wearing make-up. We don't allow it here.

0:30:410:30:46

I'm going.

0:30:460:30:49

Unwilling to toe the line, Nicole does what she does best.

0:30:510:30:57

And Nathan is happy to run alongside her.

0:30:570:31:00

Nathan!

0:31:000:31:02

I'm not bending over and taking it up the arse, like these kids.

0:31:070:31:11

The first lesson we had today, every other lesson is going to be a repeat of the first lesson.

0:31:110:31:18

Us just sitting there, telling the kids what we're like,

0:31:180:31:21

and then basically getting abused by them for the next 30 minutes.

0:31:210:31:26

Hello, good afternoon. Is this Mr Harris?

0:31:260:31:29

We have a slight problem with the two young people.

0:31:290:31:32

They have gone off the compound, I don't know if you will be able to collect them.

0:31:320:31:36

With the teens loose on the streets, Kenrick is forced to leave work early.

0:31:410:31:45

That is them.

0:31:450:31:47

I can see them here now.

0:31:470:31:49

-Are you going back to school?

-We're walking up to the school, if that helps.

-Thank you.

0:31:490:31:54

Right now, what I'm really thinking,

0:32:070:32:09

is I would like to take the two of them and give both of them a hard slap around their heads.

0:32:090:32:15

My problem is I am not going to chase anyone around Barbados again.

0:32:150:32:21

I am sick and tired of it. To be told that students that I brought here

0:32:210:32:28

have been a disruption is really painful.

0:32:280:32:30

Hours later, an angry and humiliated Kenrick returns home.

0:32:360:32:40

We are going to have a discussion.

0:32:400:32:44

-Just drop it.

-No, I am not going to drop it.

0:32:440:32:47

Let me tell you why.

0:32:470:32:48

We have sacrificed so much for the two of you.

0:32:480:32:51

I am disappointed that both of you decided to leave the school compound.

0:32:510:32:56

You do not know the kind of things you could have put that school through.

0:32:560:32:59

But to have you having me walk all over the place up and down the street.

0:32:590:33:05

Going to some extremely dangerous areas where people could have killed one of us.

0:33:050:33:11

If you were my children, I would grab you by the collar and pulled

0:33:110:33:15

you into the car and then I would have thrown some licks at you.

0:33:150:33:18

A lot of those same children, their families are friends of mine.

0:33:180:33:23

Those same teachers went to school with me.

0:33:230:33:26

Some of those same teachers taught me and I have respect for those people.

0:33:260:33:30

But the two of you are not showing any respect for us.

0:33:300:33:33

If you both don't appreciate it, leave this house.

0:33:330:33:38

-I am going to walk away now.

-Oh, shit!

0:33:420:33:45

This be somebody trying to talk some sense into you.

0:33:450:33:49

But do as you're accustomed to do.

0:33:490:33:50

You and Nicole run away. You cannot run away from life. Remember that.

0:33:500:33:55

BLEEP.

0:33:550:33:57

Three hours later, Kendria attempts to break the deadlock.

0:34:100:34:14

OK, I have something to say. You may not like it too much,

0:34:140:34:19

you may not like me either, but you need to go inside

0:34:190:34:23

and sincerely apologise.

0:34:230:34:26

Nicole, you need to stop acting like two-year-old.

0:34:260:34:31

-You're getting all shitty though, aren't you? Look at you, for

-BLEEP

-sake. Calm the

-BLEEP

-down. Seriously.

0:34:310:34:36

-You need to calm down.

-I am

-BLEEP

-Zen. I'm Zen.

0:34:360:34:40

If you think so, girl. My parents have been putting up with this.

0:34:400:34:44

Count to ten and speak to me when you are calm.

0:34:440:34:48

I am not willing to listen to this.

0:34:480:34:52

With no friends to turn to, and nowhere left to run, Nicole starts to feel sorry for herself.

0:34:520:34:59

I hate myself enough as it is, I don't need people telling me how shit I am.

0:34:590:35:03

I know it is me that causes this.

0:35:030:35:06

If I didn't do the things I did, things wouldn't happen.

0:35:060:35:09

Dragging Nathan along after her, Nicole makes a chance discovery.

0:35:090:35:14

Gin, rum or vodka?

0:35:140:35:15

What shall we go for?

0:35:150:35:18

How much is a bottle of rum?

0:35:200:35:22

A small one. What size? Any of them.

0:35:220:35:25

This is like Christmas come early.

0:35:300:35:33

Cheers.

0:35:330:35:34

They came with one thing in mind, that is to try to get through this week if possible.

0:35:360:35:42

They did not come to change.

0:35:420:35:43

But they will have regrets about a lot things in their life

0:35:450:35:49

that could have been so much different if they would listen and learn.

0:35:490:35:54

Instead of bringing comfort, the drink has only made Nicole feel more miserable.

0:35:540:36:00

Her thoughts turn to her life at home.

0:36:000:36:03

I have had a couple of hours away from them.

0:36:030:36:07

It made me think about my actions as a whole, not just this instant but as a whole

0:36:070:36:15

and how much regret and sorrow and guilt I feel.

0:36:150:36:21

It has got to stop now.

0:36:210:36:23

It's going to continue if I don't stop and make a change, basically.

0:36:230:36:28

I really am sorry

0:36:350:36:38

for what I've done.

0:36:380:36:40

I am just pushing away and if I carry on pushing away I will have nothing left any more.

0:36:400:36:46

I am sincerely sorry about it.

0:36:460:36:50

You want to say something?

0:36:500:36:52

Nicole, we have heard you. We accept your apology.

0:36:520:36:58

We are willing to welcome you back in our home tonight, OK?

0:36:590:37:04

-All right.

-I am sorry.

0:37:050:37:09

I really am. Thank you so much.

0:37:090:37:12

Whilst the Harrises are always prepared to forgive and forget, for Nathan an apology is a step too far.

0:37:150:37:22

I think if I went in and apologised, they would probably take us back but

0:37:220:37:26

it wouldn't be the same. It would be like the first few days again

0:37:260:37:29

where you didn't feel like part of the family and it would be horrible again.

0:37:290:37:34

Nathan spends the night outside sleeping on a nearby porch.

0:37:360:37:41

Good morning, Nicole.

0:37:480:37:50

Morning, Nicole. Time to wake up.

0:37:500:37:54

After another night away from the family home, Nathan has reached a decision.

0:37:540:37:59

I really want to go home now.

0:37:590:38:01

I want to be back with my family.

0:38:010:38:03

I have had enough here.

0:38:030:38:04

I really have.

0:38:040:38:06

I know it may be a stupid idea to go home when I've only been here three days but I've realised a lot

0:38:060:38:13

and it is the weather

0:38:130:38:15

and missing my family and friends, girlfriend.

0:38:150:38:19

I'm missing the stupid things in the UK.

0:38:190:38:22

But Kenrick has other ideas.

0:38:220:38:25

He's arranged for Nathan to spend the day working with his friend Orlando.

0:38:250:38:30

Orlando will be here to pick you up to take you off to work.

0:38:300:38:32

-We will go from there.

-I'm going home, that's it.

0:38:320:38:35

We'll see what happens.

0:38:350:38:37

-Orlando will be here for you.

-I am not going to work, I'm going home.

0:38:370:38:40

-Nathan!

-Just

-BLEEP

-off!

0:38:440:38:46

With no dad at home, Nathan is not used to a man telling him what to do.

0:38:460:38:51

Do you know Jack shit about me?

0:38:510:38:53

-No, you

-BLEEP

-don't.

0:38:530:38:56

And Kenrick's persistence provokes the angry temper his mother is so frightened of.

0:38:560:39:01

He's pissing me off.

0:39:010:39:04

Nathan!

0:39:040:39:07

I just need to calm down.

0:39:070:39:09

-Seriously, if you want me to calm down, just

-BLEEP

-off and leave me alone.

-Nathan...

0:39:090:39:15

-No, listen. If you want me to calm down,

-BLEEP

-off.

-One of the rules we have, watch your language.

0:39:150:39:22

-I don't give a

-BLEEP

-any more. I don't give a

-BLEEP

-about your rules!

0:39:220:39:26

-You have to.

-No, I don't.

0:39:260:39:28

What are you going to do, kick me out? Please, do it.

0:39:280:39:31

That's what you want me to do. It is not happening.

0:39:310:39:35

-I'm not listening to your

-BLEEP

-rules.

0:39:350:39:38

You still have to obey them.

0:39:380:39:39

-No, I don't.

-Yes, you do. I am not kicking you out.

0:39:390:39:42

You are staying in Barbados!

0:39:420:39:46

Kenrick leaves for work.

0:39:520:39:54

Exhausted, hungry and homesick, Nathan returns to the house...

0:39:540:39:59

-only to have Orlando arrive hot on his heels.

-Good morning.

0:39:590:40:04

Hopefully you'll be helping me with some work today, then?

0:40:040:40:07

I'm not going to work today because I cannot be bothered.

0:40:070:40:11

I can't work in this heat.

0:40:110:40:13

-Are you sure? You don't want to try it?

-I'm sure.

0:40:130:40:16

Let's say you come, just see what's happening.

0:40:160:40:19

And see how things are transformed.

0:40:190:40:21

-Let's go cos it's just short there. All right?

-All right.

0:40:210:40:26

With no fight left in him, Nathan is charmed off the sofa by Orlando's gentle approach.

0:40:260:40:33

Orlando gave up an office job he hated to follow a childhood dream

0:40:390:40:43

and start his own landscaping business.

0:40:430:40:46

And he's never looked back.

0:40:460:40:49

You see the tall grass?

0:40:490:40:52

Just push over it.

0:40:520:40:54

Those bits that are sticking out that you missed.

0:40:570:41:00

It's what I'm doing now.

0:41:000:41:02

Tell me something, have you done any work in the last two years or so?

0:41:070:41:11

-No, I haven't worked in the last two years.

-What you did in the last two years?

0:41:110:41:14

-Basically drunk, gone out with my mates...

-Pardon?

0:41:140:41:17

-Last two years, I've basically got drunk...

-Drunk?

0:41:170:41:19

Yes. Gone out with my mates and smoked spliffs.

0:41:190:41:22

-Smoke... That's marijuana?

-Yeah.

0:41:220:41:24

-And why would you smoke marijuana? And drink?

-I don't know, really. It was just something to do.

0:41:240:41:30

If I had the ability to give you some joints for the time you were here,

0:41:300:41:34

you feel like it'd encourage you to stay here and work with me?

0:41:340:41:38

No, because I'd just want to smoke the spliffs and sit down and chill-out for the rest of the day.

0:41:390:41:44

The notion of just wanting to smoke and chill, you know, is really a no-go because,

0:41:440:41:49

at the end of the day, you're here to be productive for yourself, your family.

0:41:490:41:53

And if there's one thing that I would want to leave, or one impression that I would want to leave with you

0:41:530:42:00

for this short time you spend with me, which I enjoyed tremendously, is that you be a positive influence,

0:42:000:42:07

firstly to yourself, and then to all of those around you who care for you, like your parents.

0:42:070:42:12

I don't think going back home would be the best thing for you.

0:42:120:42:15

Actually, it would be putting your right back in the position of what caused you to be here. Right?

0:42:150:42:20

So, I'm saying to you, your first test is not to leave Barbados.

0:42:200:42:24

It's to stay here for the next few days.

0:42:240:42:26

-God bless. Look after yourself, all the best when you go back, all right?

-Yes.

0:42:260:42:31

Orlando's calm advice has given Nathan a new perspective on his behaviour.

0:42:310:42:36

He wants to stay and see out the week.

0:42:370:42:40

But first, he has to face the Harrises.

0:42:400:42:43

I will apologise to them, but to be fair,

0:42:440:42:48

I don't regret sleeping under the stars because it gave me quite a bit of time to think and clear my head.

0:42:480:42:54

I'm not really one for saying sorry after big things like this.

0:42:540:42:58

I'll say sorry after the little things, just not really big things.

0:42:580:43:02

It's a bit of a challenge, really.

0:43:020:43:04

I'm sorry for last night, for being so disrespectful to you and all of yesterday.

0:43:120:43:16

I understand it was very wrong and very disrespectful.

0:43:160:43:20

Nathan, I really don't know what to say. Because...

0:43:330:43:37

we both held you in very high esteem.

0:43:370:43:39

I do not have a son. In Barbados, when you have sons, women idolise their sons.

0:43:390:43:46

So that is why I spent time talking. It hurts, Nathan.

0:43:460:43:49

It's not just that. I'm not sitting down here dramatising or nothing, it's hurting me.

0:43:490:43:54

-You are welcome back.

-Thank you.

0:43:540:43:56

Now, let me just ask, because I've not seen the number I've seen before.

0:44:060:44:11

Is this all that you have? Are there any more?

0:44:110:44:15

-No.

-You're certain?

-Yes.

0:44:150:44:18

OK.

0:44:180:44:20

Following Nathan's apology for his earlier outburst,

0:44:270:44:30

Kenrick thinks the time is right to deliver him a message from home.

0:44:300:44:34

Hi, Nathan. I have a letter from your mum.

0:44:340:44:36

-Cheers.

-There you go, for you to read.

0:44:360:44:38

"Hi, Nathan. Hope you're enjoying your experiences in Barbados.

0:44:400:44:43

"Over the last year, you've gotten a lot better with your anger issues but the ability to go backwards is still

0:44:430:44:49

"there and I still fear because, to be honest, you scared me at some stages.

0:44:490:44:54

"I thought you would lash out at me.

0:44:540:44:56

"It's not something to be proud of.

0:44:560:44:59

"It hurts. A lot."

0:44:590:45:01

"Needless to say, I miss you.

0:45:030:45:05

"Love you lots, Mum. See you soon."

0:45:050:45:07

It...

0:45:180:45:21

All the stuff that my mum is saying that when I used to have a real anger problem, it used to scare her.

0:45:210:45:26

I don't think I ever knew that.

0:45:260:45:28

It makes me feel shit.

0:45:320:45:35

It really does.

0:45:350:45:36

I'm very surprised you're actually here.

0:45:490:45:52

With both teens back in the fold, the Harrises decide a trip to the beach

0:45:520:45:56

will do everyone the world of good. Getting ready for the trip, Nicole puts on her usual layers of make-up.

0:45:560:46:04

But her look is about more than simple fashion.

0:46:040:46:07

I don't like the colour of my skin.

0:46:070:46:09

I don't like being dark. I just don't like it.

0:46:090:46:12

I just want to be a bit lighter.

0:46:120:46:14

Or just completely light and blonde.

0:46:140:46:17

I would say I feel more white, only because I have been brought up

0:46:170:46:21

in a white environment and not really subjected to black culture, in a way.

0:46:210:46:25

I just, I can't explain how I feel about it. I just hate it.

0:46:250:46:30

And I wish I could be lighter.

0:46:300:46:32

If I could, I would.

0:46:320:46:34

Since childhood, Nicole has always been unhappy being mixed race.

0:46:360:46:41

When Nicole was about, I suppose four or five, she was in the bath.

0:46:420:46:47

And her granddad said to her, "Nicole, what are you doing?"

0:46:470:46:51

And she had the scrubber, she was scrubbing.

0:46:510:46:53

And she said, "I want to be white like you, Granddad."

0:46:530:46:56

And this is what the trouble is.

0:46:560:46:59

She cannot see herself.

0:46:590:47:00

I don't like being mixed-race.

0:47:000:47:03

If I could change it, I would, like Michael Jackson.

0:47:030:47:06

That would make me very happy.

0:47:060:47:08

How embarrassing!

0:47:310:47:33

-Amazing?

-Yeah.

-Had a really good day?

-Yeah.

0:47:400:47:43

Because of all that has happened, right,

0:47:430:47:45

as things go well, we try to make sure that you understand that we will treat you well.

0:47:450:47:50

-Yeah, thank you.

-No problem.

0:47:500:47:52

The sea has washed away Nicole's make-up.

0:47:520:47:56

And Andrea notices a change in her mood.

0:47:560:47:59

Is it so bad that you don't have on mascara or make-up?

0:47:590:48:03

You don't think you're pretty?

0:48:030:48:04

Definitely not without make-up on, I look like shit. Oh, sorry, I look awful.

0:48:040:48:10

And you really don't need make-up all the time because you're a beautiful girl.

0:48:100:48:15

I realise your skin tone, you are mixed.

0:48:170:48:20

-So you don't like that part of you?

-No, hate it.

0:48:220:48:25

So you don't want no part of being black?

0:48:250:48:28

No.

0:48:280:48:30

You'd prefer to be totally white?

0:48:300:48:32

It's who you are, it's who make up you.

0:48:320:48:35

So you have to get a don't-carish attitude in a good sensible way about who Nicole is.

0:48:350:48:40

Nicole, you have to start from the very beginning. You have to start with say who Nicole is.

0:48:400:48:46

When you accept Nicole, you're going to realise out there is going to look at you different.

0:48:460:48:52

-You need to let go of stuff, though, Nicole.

-It's hard.

0:48:540:48:57

It's the hardest thing to do.

0:48:570:48:59

I have a better understanding of why certain things she does, behaves certain ways.

0:49:010:49:07

She doesn't feel she's pretty.

0:49:070:49:09

And she doesn't feel well. If you don't accept that you're black,

0:49:090:49:12

you can't accept your hips and your legs and your nose and the shape of your mouth.

0:49:120:49:16

Because our shape is different.

0:49:160:49:18

But all of these are just excuses.

0:49:180:49:20

If she accepts who she is, she would realise they're so many things she can do with herself.

0:49:200:49:26

To be honest, it's making sense, what she's saying. It's nice to...

0:49:270:49:32

it's actually nice to speak to someone for a change.

0:49:320:49:35

Yeah, I would like to start doing normal things, because the more I do,

0:49:370:49:41

it'll benefit not just me but my family as well, if I'm mature enough to cope with issues,

0:49:410:49:47

rather than just be an idiot about it,

0:49:470:49:49

and just take drugs and be reckless and irrational, and run off and stuff.

0:49:490:49:54

I'm more open to change now.

0:49:540:49:56

Impressed with the teens' change in attitude, the Harrises decide

0:50:040:50:09

it's time to send them back to school to complete their education.

0:50:090:50:13

Whilst Nicole knuckles down to her A-level English homework,

0:50:160:50:20

career-truant Nathan is catching up on his basic GCSE chat-up lines.

0:50:200:50:25

How many girlfriends have you had?

0:50:250:50:28

-Do you mean girlfriends, or how many people I've slept with?

-Slept with.

-About 52.

0:50:280:50:33

SHRIEKING

0:50:330:50:34

-What age did you lose your virginity at?

-12 or 13.

0:50:360:50:39

-12 or 13?

-Oh, God.

0:50:390:50:41

It's a good life.

0:50:430:50:45

You can't go wrong with it.

0:50:450:50:47

It does feel a lot more satisfying, in general, just actually not wasting the day.

0:50:470:50:51

Actually finding some things out about the culture and the teens over here

0:50:510:50:54

than just wandering the streets, basically.

0:50:540:50:57

Nicole has struggled all week to talk about her feelings.

0:50:580:51:01

Yes, Nicole. So, can you read what you wrote for us now?

0:51:010:51:05

Now she's expected to open up in front of the whole class.

0:51:050:51:09

"It is clear from the outset that my life has taken a turn for the worse.

0:51:090:51:14

"I've fallen down the path of destruction.

0:51:140:51:16

"I've had a privileged life.

0:51:160:51:18

"This turned me into an ungrateful, demanding, and very spoilt brat.

0:51:180:51:21

"I'm very close to losing all of my family simply because

0:51:210:51:25

"I fight against help, opportunities and change. I know that I am destructive. And...

0:51:250:51:31

"I may claim I don't care, but underneath my hard exterior

0:51:310:51:36

"is a lonely, vulnerable and extremely confused girl."

0:51:360:51:39

OK.

0:51:440:51:46

"That's why I've got to change, not just for me, for everyone.

0:51:480:51:51

"And in the future, I honestly don't care what I'm doing, or what I want to do, as long as

0:51:510:51:57

"I wake up in the morning and I can honestly say I'm happy with my life.

0:51:570:52:00

"Because I haven't been happy for a long time."

0:52:000:52:03

APPLAUSE

0:52:030:52:06

It hurts me that...

0:52:140:52:16

you as a person...

0:52:160:52:18

you realise now that what you're doing is self-destructive.

0:52:180:52:22

That what you're doing to yourself isn't healthy.

0:52:250:52:28

That's all I think.

0:52:280:52:31

The day has come for Nathan and Nicole to go home.

0:52:370:52:42

Yeah, I am going to miss the Harris family.

0:52:420:52:45

They have helped me a lot in the time I've been here with realising things back home, things I need to change,

0:52:450:52:50

ways that I need to change personally, and things like education and stuff like that.

0:52:500:52:54

They have helped a lot.

0:52:540:52:56

I think I'm much more well-rounded now.

0:52:560:53:00

I can see where I go wrong,

0:53:000:53:03

whereas I didn't before. I will miss the Harris family quite a lot.

0:53:030:53:07

And I'll just miss their, like, values, in a sense.

0:53:070:53:11

Have a safe flight home. I'm going to miss you.

0:53:130:53:17

All the best.

0:53:170:53:18

-Thank you for everything.

-My daughter, that don't like hugs.

0:53:240:53:28

Nicole is going back her grandparents,

0:53:420:53:44

who she hasn't seen for two months since they kicked her out.

0:53:440:53:48

-Hi.

-Hi, granddad.

0:53:510:53:53

I've missed you.

0:53:550:53:56

So, you've learnt a lot?

0:53:580:54:00

-She chased me down the street saying, "Be a woman, stand your ground."

-Exactly.

0:54:000:54:04

And I freaked out and run away.

0:54:040:54:06

I didn't know what to do. I thought she was going to hit me.

0:54:060:54:09

It doesn't matter. You can stand your ground, you shouldn't run away.

0:54:090:54:12

Stand your ground. And, you know, communicate, which is very important.

0:54:120:54:18

I have to prove that I want to change.

0:54:180:54:22

And I can't just sit here and say, you know, "I want to change, and this, and that."

0:54:220:54:25

I have to actually prove to you by doing stuff.

0:54:250:54:29

You can't just take, take, take.

0:54:290:54:30

You have to give back. And that's what I want to do.

0:54:300:54:32

You know, I want to not just enhance my life, but enhance yours as well.

0:54:320:54:36

She sounds positive. Very, very positive.

0:54:360:54:39

Hopefully, you know, it'll be an ongoing thing.

0:54:390:54:44

She said she's changed and she gave me a hug, which was...

0:54:460:54:50

It was just wonderful because she just don't...

0:54:500:54:53

She just don't hug you. Oh, that's lovely.

0:54:530:54:57

That was...that was nice, yes.

0:54:570:54:59

I hope Nathan on his trip has learned to appreciate what he has

0:55:010:55:04

got here at home, realising that not everybody has the privileges he has.

0:55:040:55:09

-Hiya.

-Hiya.

0:55:130:55:16

Oh. Come on in. Come on.

0:55:160:55:18

God. You are seriously going to piss yourselves laughing.

0:55:180:55:21

Oh, wow!

0:55:220:55:25

It's been an eye-opening experience, big time.

0:55:250:55:28

-I'm sorry for over the years just being basically a little

-BLEEP

-towards you.

0:55:300:55:34

Thank you very much.

0:55:340:55:36

I accept your apology.

0:55:360:55:38

Let's just hope things get better now.

0:55:380:55:41

And you sort yourself out.

0:55:410:55:43

Good to see you.

0:55:430:55:46

-It's good to be back.

-All right, then.

0:55:460:55:48

It's the first time he's ever apologised to me.

0:55:480:55:51

And he seems to be really positive about improving himself and everything.

0:55:510:55:55

So, yeah, I'm really chuffed. Proud of him.

0:55:550:55:58

Next time on World's Strictest Parents,

0:56:030:56:05

angry street fighter, Nicky.

0:56:050:56:08

-It's my life, I do what I want to do.

-And spray-tan waster Geri...

0:56:080:56:12

..get new parents in Sri Lanka.

0:56:140:56:16

-If you was my mum, I'd tell you to

-BLEEP

-off.

0:56:160:56:19

We don't tolerate that kind of language.

0:56:190:56:21

-When I walked in there and saw those people, I thought,

-"BLEEP

-this," and walked back out.

0:56:210:56:25

Oh, my God. You're in my ear at 5 o'clock in the morning.

0:56:250:56:29

If she cannot change her attitude, she doesn't come back into this house.

0:56:290:56:32

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:56:440:56:47

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0:56:470:56:50

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