Sri Lanka The World's Strictest Parents

Around the world, many parents raise their kids on a diet of strict discipline.

It's our responsibility as parents to be in control of the music

that they listen to, the movies they watch, and the friends they have.

Rigid boundaries.

Am I friends with my children? No.

I'm not your friend, I'm your parent.

And immediate consequences.

My dad is really strict.

Ooh, if you break the rules, he can be very scary.

But can traditional parenting change the lives of rebellious British teenagers?

I was brought here, on this earth, to party.

She can be an absolute nightmare. It's awful.

My lifestyle is playing Xbox, and getting hammered.

I'm getting you!

'I went to anger management.'

Got kicked out of anger management, for being angry.

'No-one can tell me what to do.'

Not even the Queen of England can tell me what to do.

He's slapped me, he's poked me, he's pushed me. He's done it all.

I am what I am. If you don't like it, then jog on.

To find out, two teens who have never met before will leave their families behind.

-Maybe she'll come back and be nice.

-Doubt it.

And head off to the far corners of the world,

where they will live according to strict rules imposed by new parents.

You are not in the UK, you are in Barbados!

They're the most awful people I've ever met in my whole life.

If she wants to throw a hissy fit, she can have her hissy fit.

I'm going home.

What are you going to do? That's what I thought.

This is our rule. If you're going to cop an attitude about it, forget it.

-What's the point?

-The point is it's a matter of trust.

If this is how they are, I'm sorry for Britain.

I live how I want to live. I party how I want to party.

GLASS SMASHES

17-year-old Nicki Stygall is out of control.

Nicola is... an absolute nightmare child.

She's uncontrollable,

she doesn't do what she's told....

If I was to tell Nicki that she could not go out, could not go partying, could not go drinking,

she'd go, "Yeah, whatever", and walk out the door.

-RAPS:

-She's a nutter. She's a schizo. She's a psycho.

If she switch, she can be a narky bitch.

You can't control it when she loses it.

Oh, my God, look who it is. Look who it is! That's the girl who went to Brighton College.

'I'm worried about Nicki when she goes out drinking.

'Her temper does flare up. And...'

she does show a very ugly side.

NICKI SHOUTS ABUSE

'Nobody can control her. When she's angry, that's it.'

You. I'm getting you.

'Fighting ain't ladylike, but if someone pisses me off, I'm having them.

'It doesn't matter what they've done or haven't done, I'm going for them.'

She's gone.

She's gone. Nicki, look at me. Look at me in the eye. She's gone.

Yeah, I went to anger management.

Went to anger management

and got kicked out of anger management for being angry.

No, you're wrong.

-No, I'm not.

-Yes, you are.

How am I wrong? You threatened to burn the house down...

Nicki dropped out of school after being excluded for fighting.

Mum Carol has struggled to raise her and sister Claire, who has learning difficulties.

'You can't keep treating me the way you do. You treat me like dirt.'

Yeah. Because you haven't got a backbone.

No, I've got a heart condition.

'I had a heart attack.'

It was only a mild,

if you can call it mild, heart attack.

And I do believe that was brought on from all the stress.

No, I don't think about what I've done to my mum, what stress I've put her under.

I just don't think about it. I gave up caring a long time ago.

I think with Nicki, she's got this big hard shell around her.

Nobody can break through that hard shell.

I think she's frightened of getting hurt.

I would just love Nicki to be that happy young girl that I had.

For 18-year-old Essex girl Jerri McVeigh,

-the only thing that matters is looking good.

Must be brown. I can't stand pale people who go out.

Oh, it gets on my nerves.

'Her appearance is very important to her. And yet,'

she won't listen to any advice.

She's getting it wrong.

The Tango orange bit, I'm talking about.

In life, I just want to happen to come across a footballer,

and have a Bentley and a Range Rover. I'd love that.

Just go shopping, wake up, you know, "Here's £60,000 to go spend."

You'd just go and spend it, wouldn't you? Going to Harrods and that.

'I'm getting excited now!'

You gotta love Jerri!

She loves it! She loves it! Whoa!

'I do think that Jerri is trying to live a celebrity lifestyle'

before earning the right to do so.

Jerri left school with few qualifications.

She's never had a job and funds her extravagant lifestyle

by sponging money from her parents.

Oh, behave! Look how many £20 notes you've got in your wallet!

Dad, can I have an extra tenner? Please, Dad!

-Yeah, yeah, all right.

-Thanks.

She knows that I'm a big softie. She knows she'll get what she wants

because I'm just a walking wallet as far as she's concerned, I suppose.

Thanks.

'Unfortunately, Jerri lives in a little dream world, where money grows on trees.'

And then when you say no, she can't understand why.

I get something in me and go, "Ooh, but I want it",

so I just go evil bitch mode.

I think the times of seeing her head spin around on her shoulders,

-and thinking she's the Exorcist child...

-I'm the bitch.

I'm terrible. Like, I am what I am. If you don't like it then jog on.

'I think it's important that Jerri changes, and changes now,

'and I think if she learns that you have to work hard,'

you know, you reap what you sow,

I think it would make her a better person.

In a last-ditch attempt to turn their lives around,

both families are sending their disobedient daughters

to live with new parents on the far side of the world.

-Love you.

-Love you.

No acting up.

'I think this experience is going to be very important for Jerri'

because I think she's basically at the Last Chance Saloon. She really needs to sort herself out.

This experience is... This is it.

Thank you.

Don't give them too much grief.

Try and behave yourself and just don't embarrass anyone!

See you later.

'I would like Nicki to try and sort out her anger,'

so I do need her to change dramatically, really,

and hopefully when she come back, she'll be a better person.

-Hello.

-Hello, I'm Jerri. What's your name?

-Nicki.

-You all right?

Yeah. I'm so nervous. Are you?

-You know you're only allowed to take 20 kilograms?

-No.

Ha! You're going to have to take stuff out.

The girls are heading 5,000 miles away to Sri Lanka, an island off the coast of India.

They will be staying with the DeZylvas, a Buddhist family

who have raised their children to be selfless and community-minded.

'I think we are strong parents'

because our children know what is expected of them.

Pass the salad, please.

Discipline is not for the sake of disciplining or to control somebody.

We have boundaries and lines and they need to know that.

Dad Brindley is the chief executive of a multi-million pound finance company,

and mum Mandy works in advertising. They are parents to four high-achieving children.

They're strict, and I think all parents should be strict.

You need those boundaries.

If they are not there, you can get into bad company. You can go the wrong way.

As long as you do what you're told, and do what you're supposed to do,

then they are OK with it.

Despite living in a spacious house with three domestic servants,

the family live a modest life, according to simple Buddhist principles.

Their children are not allowed mobile phones, computer games, or pocket money.

Of course it is important not to spoil your children,

because I think that from there stems all evil,

because in the end, society has to pay for it.

Some would see us as very strict,

but I think we try our best to be good parents,

and only time will show whether what we've done is right or wrong.

After a 12-hour flight,

the British girls have arrived in Sri Lanka's main city of Colombo.

The place is just absolutely shit.

It's like, just, I couldn't live here, could not live here.

-I haven't seen one Merc.

-I haven't seen one Golf GTi!

It's terrible.

-Fashion - what fashion?

-There is no fashion.

Almost a quarter of the population live below the poverty line.

And more than three million people survive on less than 70p a day.

It's poor, it's poor, isn't it? Don't you think?

We is in Sri Lankan ghetto, with all the ghetto people.

I'm a bit apprehensive because I don't know what I'm in for.

A little bit tense, these last few minutes, waiting for them.

Just hope they'll be here soon.

How bad can it be?

Oh, I'm nervous!

Oh, my God, I can see 'em.

I can see 'em! Oh, no!

-Shit.

-Oh, no.

-They look well strict.

-Hiya.

-Hi.

-Hello.

-Welcome.

-Welcome.

-Thank you.

-I'm Brindley.

-Hello, I'm Jerri.

-Your father for the next week.

-OK.

-Hello.

-And this is Manoja.

-Hello, I'm Mandy.

-Hello.

-I didn't get your name again?

-It's Jerri. Yeah.

-As in Tom and Jerry, you know? Yeah?!

-OK.

-Shall we walk in?

For the next eight days, Nicki and Jerri will live by

the same rules and values as the DeZylvas' own kids.

Meet our family.

This is Nicki, and this is Jerri.

-Hello.

-And this is my family.

Akvan, he's 24 years old, he's doing a masters in economics.

Tash is number two, she's 22 years old.

And she's doing her finals in her LLB exam,

external degree from the University of London.

-Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you, too.

Ayudhya, his is number three - she's doing her A-levels next year.

She's 18 years old.

18 years old, still in school.

You're a busy bunch, aren't you?!

She's 13-plus.

-Ah!

-She's Samaakhya, and the naughty one.

Oh, are you? You're in our game, then!

Shall I show you round the house?

This is the kitchen, and this is where we normally have our meals, as a family.

This is actually a spare room,

so the children have their school things, desks...

Our kids don't have TV. OK? There is no TV generally for the children.

EastEnders is off the cards!

We are Buddhist.

-Buddhist?

-Buddhist. We follow Buddhism.

-Yeah...

It's what we call a way of life.

-So we don't have to pray?

-No, you don't have to pray.

And this is the girls' room.

One of you can sleep here, and one of you can sleep there.

So, that is our home.

-Which is your home now. OK?

-Yeah.

-Not happy with that. No

-BLEEP

-TV.

I don't know how they can live like this. In this house. There's no...

Look, the fans, but I thought they were meant to have air-conditioning.

The kitchen, like, proper stinks. As soon as we walked in, I was like...

Yeah, cos that's that curry, isn't it?

-Exactly, so if you don't like the smell of it...

-The same smell of curry every day.

It's disgusting.

-And they're so... And have you heard all their, like what they...? Their success?

-Yeah.

I haven't got none of that.

I've got a beautician thing, that's it.

At least we don't have to pray.

-Yeah, I'm glad we don't have to pray.

-I wouldn't pray. Wouldn't.

I thought a Buddha was one of them things that you rub their belly, you know? Them lucky things.

I reckon the mother is the hardest one, and she will knuckle down hard.

-Listen, she wears the trousers in this house - you can see it straightaway.

-Yeah.

The girls have arrived at the start of the monsoon season, and the rains have just hit Colombo.

Nicki and Jerri, please come in.

Before they are fully accepted into the family,

Mandy and Brindley want the British girls to know exactly what's expected of them during their stay.

I've already welcomed you - in my heart, I have two more daughters. And that's exciting for me.

I just want you to give a chance for me to be a father for two more daughters,

and try and live within this home that we are living in.

We are a Buddhist family,

and we believe we all have a responsibility

to make the world a better place.

We insist on politeness and respect at all times to everyone.

We will not tolerate smoking in our home.

But, like, if we do say to you, like, out of politeness, like, "Can we go out for five minutes, please,"

and it's not in your property, then can we smoke?

My daughter will not smoke.

- No, I know, but we're not doing it in front of your children. - And you're my daughter.

Yeah, I know, but, I'm going to smoke, I've told you that I'm going to smoke.

I know that, but let's, let's give it a chance.

We do not buy our children birthday presents,

because we do not believe in materialism.

And no make-up is permitted.

No, I'm not happy with that.

It might look unreasonable to you, because this is something new.

-Strange to you.

-Something strange, but we have here...

-THUNDER CRASHES

-What was that?

-That's thunder.

-I don't like thunderstorms at all.

-And you've come into the monsoon!

The Sri Lankan monsoon lasts around a month, and brings heavy rain and thunderstorms across the island.

But after listening to the rules, the weather is the last thing on Nicki's mind.

No make-up, no fags, no TV.

Ridiculous.

By the end of the week, I reckon I'll be like... THUNDER CRASHES

By the end of the week...

I'm going to snap. THUNDER CRASHES

It's not just Nicki who's unhappy about the rules.

Jerri is also a smoker,

and both girls are demanding the right to have a cigarette.

-I'm just going for a cigarette.

-Don't break the fast I have.

-No, please don't, we really need to have...

-Yeah, we'll be back in in five minutes, not even.

-They want to go and smoke.

-So can I see?

No, nothing to see, it's not something great.

-Please give me a chance.

-Can we just finish these? Seriously.

No, no. Come, be my daughter.

If our children feel that we have no strength to

stand up for what we think is right, we are in deep trouble.

So we have to put our foot down.

Before the day is over, we have to stop the cigarettes.

-Can I come in?

-Yeah.

-First, you have to give your cigarettes to us.

-No.

-Bollocks to it, no

-BLEEP

-way. If I pay for them...

-Please mind your language, Nicki.

-Yeah, but you're winding me up.

To me, you're my two daughters.

-But the thing is, if you were my mum, I'd tell you to

-BLEEP

-off.

We don't tolerate that kind of language.

-But that's what I'm telling you.

-Please.

You have to live in this home with these rules. The choice is yours.

In this house, no child smokes, full stop.

You abide by the rules, right?

I'm not giving up my fags.

Then, you cannot be my daughter, then that means this programme is over.

Fine.

Can I just go and talk to Nicki... please?

-You can speak to Nicki, but I just suggested you don't smoke.

-Yes.

Oh!

My children have to know that we mean what we mean.

And just because two kids have come and said they cannot give up,

and spoken in the language that my children would not speak, that we back down.

I just want to compromise, that's what I want.

I said I'd rather just be able to just at least have a puff a day on a cigarette, you know?

Because we are throwing away a big opportunity, you know, if we want to carry on doing this.

Even if we smoke two cigarettes a day...

Nick, I think we should go and talk to him.

We've come up with an idea.

We've decided that we'll only smoke two cigarettes a day.

Now, shall I tell you what I think?

You hand over your cigarettes to us,

and we'll give you the two cigarettes for the day.

OK, Jerri? Nicki?

OK.

I'm happy.

Thank you.

Jerri, you know what I would have done with my daughters, if we had a confrontation?

-What?

-Given them a hug.

-Oh, do you want to give me a hug?

-Yes.

Bless you.

While the girls are pleased with the compromise,

Mandy is dismayed by their attitude.

I'm just shocked at the way they behave.

I'm appalled, actually.

The fact that they cannot respect somebody else's opinion,

and their sense of values, is absolutely shocking.

Overnight, the monsoon has caused chaos and flooding throughout Sri Lanka.

200,000 people have been made homeless,

and parts of the capital are still under water.

I thought I was going to get a bit of a tan at least.

But hopefully it might brighten up,

and then we can arrange a cheeky beach appointment.

This kind of rain can last from a week to two weeks.

Doesn't your house get flooded?

Of course our house gets flooded.

Because it's nearly flooding now.

For Buddhists, doing things for people in need is a way of life.

And with the monsoon causing devastation, Mandy wants the girls

to help her prepare food parcels for the city's homeless.

-Are we making this to give to the...people?

-Yes,

people who have less than us.

-Oh, OK.

-Who will now most probably have not anywhere to stay because of the rain.

Because giving is part of our Buddhism.

-Buddhism has three basic things that we practise - giving...

-Taking?

Not taking, taking is something we don't do.

'I hope they experience the joy'

and the happiness people get by receiving.

Maybe it will move them to do something.

But the only thing Nicki's been moved to do

is to down tools and go back to bed.

Nicki... Nicki...

Nicki, would you like to come and cook something?

Jerri has already cooked the vegetables.

She's giving me a headache.

-I'm giving you a headache?

-Yeah.

Please get up now and come, then you won't get a headache. Come on.

-No.

-You're going to stay here?

Yeah, I'm going to stay here. I don't feel well, I'm not coming near any food.

-I'm sure you are the loser for it.

-No, you're the loser.

Shut up, go away, you're giving me a headache.

I don't know whether she's really sick, but I really don't think so.

I think she wants a bit of attention.

Nicki just is looking for some attention.

I don't have the time to be giving it to her, because we need to move on.

At home, Jerri does nothing for other people,

and she doesn't believe in giving to the poor.

When I see people begging on the street,

I just assume that they're just druggies, innit, so I just ignore 'em.

Like, even, the ones sitting at Romford station and that.

Sitting there drinking their beer, asking for money.

I think, no, go away, you're a tramp.

Mandy has brought Jerri to a spot downtown,

where the homeless gather to beg for food.

Just take a packet and give him...

No, no, take it, take it.

-OK.

-Ugh!

He's taking two!

OK...

SHE SHOUTS

-I don't want to be here no more.

-You get in.

I think I want to go home. That's the truth, I want to go home.

And I want all these people to stop looking at me, the tramps. Oh!

Why are you upset?

I felt like there was just these animals just trying...

I don't know, I didn't like it at all.

Maybe hasn't eaten for four days, we don't know.

But when we give, we have to give unconditionally.

So why don't they go and get jobs?

Because there may be no jobs for them, that's why there's unemployment.

Everyone can get a job, can't they, everyone can.

Maybe it's not for us to judge why they don't get a...

I know that you might not judge, but I just think,

if they cannot be bothered to go out and get a job, and do better for themselves,

then I think, well, bollocks, I just think, no,

I just think poncing off of people's trampy, I really do.

But if I can help him a little by giving something, that is what I'll do.

The DeZylva family believe in rising early.

Every day, Brindley wakes his kids with a mug of hot milk.

But Nicki's not a morning person.

No, take it away!

Please stop your mind games, trying to talk me around everything, it won't work.

Now, the language is a problem.

Seriously, you're annoying me, seriously. You're giving me a serious headache.

You're screaming at me.

-You understand?

-Don't scream at you?

-Yes, you do not

-... You're in my ear at five o'clock in the morning!

I don't care about what you say.

-I want you to tell me...

-I don't care what YOU say!

You better care because you're in this house. That's how it goes here.

Yeah, whatever. I'm telling you to go away now.

Not until you tell me that you heard me.

Oh my God, will you go away if I tell you I won't use bad language?

-Yes.

-I won't use bad language! Now can you go away?

I told you this attitude must stop.

No, you told me the swearing had to stop. Not the attitude! Oh my God!

Are you on smack or something? Can't figure out what you say most of the time.

I think you have a memory lapse. Shall we go through the rules?

-You have a memory lapse.

-Nicki...

-Will you move?!

No, sorry.

Nicki?

-Nicki?

-Now will you move?! Don't grab me! No, go away.

Nicki, I won't touch you.

This has to stop and I mean it. If she cannot change her attitude,

she doesn't come back into this house.

You understand? OK.

But for someone as aggressive as Nicki,

changing her attitude may not be easy.

I'm trying to keep control of my anger, but sometimes I just...

I just keep blowing up.

I'd like to be more friendly and actually give people a chance

but I find that very hard, to give people a chance, new people.

I don't give a chance.

I wouldn't like to be angry all the time because at home I'm quite angry,

most of the time I'm angry and I'm not really that happy.

After Jerri's extreme reaction to the jobless street beggars,

Mandy wants the girls to see what life is like for working Sri Lankans.

She's arranged for them to do a day's work

at a rural cinnamon plantation.

Nicki and Jerri, you're going outdoors

and even your shoes I recommend that you wear,

kind of closed shoes, not flip-flops.

Are we getting paid for it?

No, you won't be getting paid for it,

but it's just a sample of what the work is like.

Back home in Britain, neither of the girls has ever managed to hold down a full-time job.

I did a little paper round when I was younger because everybody does, don't they?

I've never worked and had one of them things, is it a P45?

Never had one of them.

Human beings are made to do something.

You're not made to just sit on a branch and a chirp like a bird.

You've been given a brain and they're meant to use it

so I hope they see a different kind of life

and a different sense of values, maybe.

The monsoon has created even worse devastation in the countryside.

I can't be working in that!

If it's like this deep, I'm not getting out of the car, no way.

No, I'm not. I don't want my feet getting rabies.

Sri Lanka produces 90% of the world's cinnamon.

The industry provides a vital income for thousands of the island's poor.

The girls will be working for Aravinda Primal,

who runs a large plantation deep in the rainforest.

-Hi, I'm Primal.

-Hello.

-I'm Primal. You are? Can you introduce?

-Nicki.

I'm Jerri and this is Nicki.

-So I will take you to the field and show you how to...

-To the field?

-Yes.

-Field?

-Yes.

-We're in a field?

That is a cinnamon field.

-I haven't got shoes on properly.

-No problem. It's all right.

RAIN BATTERS

-SQUEALS

-There's mud in my feet!

-Can you hear the rain?

-Yes, I can feel it.

-Oh, no!

-BLEEP

-sake!

It's all in my shoes!

-No way of standing. Careful.

-I don't want to do this.

Bollocks. No way, look.

I'm not putting my feet in that wet, no way. I'm going back. No way.

-Jerri?

-I'm not doing it.

-You have to.

There's no way on this earth I am going down there. You're not even wearing shoes!

-I'm not wearing shoes.

-Yes, you're not! I'm wearing shoes!

-You can remove your shoes and come.

-I don't want to!

-You can come, no problem. There is no...

No, I don't want to do it. No! My shoes are going to get wet.

I don't want to do it. I'm going back to the van.

You have to come.

-Jerri!

-No.

-You have to come.

-I don't want to.

I think I'll join you on that one, Jerri.

Sit in here till we go home. No way.

Why is he still coming like I want to do it or something?

I'll give you slippers.

I'm not being funny but if she doesn't want to wear them shoes that cover her feet...

I don't want to wear them.

I don't want nothing like...

I just don't want to walk in the mud. I don't want to be here.

Look how much I'm sweating, it's getting on my nerves.

-BLEEP

-sake!

HE SIGHS

Half an hour later, the girls finally agree to do some work -

but only as long as it's inside.

These people go to the field and cut the cinnamon.

And then you scrape the outer bark

and with a small knife, take the outer bark.

-How old is she?

-67.

How many hours do they work?

They start at about 6 o'clock in the morning.

Sometimes they go till 11 or 12 in the night.

And they are paid.

-I know they're paid, why do they do so many hours?

-That's the job.

That's horrible, seeing an old woman sitting there like that and working.

Sometimes she don't want to carve today.

There are a lot of people in the world like this.

We've got to take off the green stuff, yes?

That's right. Yes.

That's good then. As you're turning?

Cinnamon is a spice used to add flavour to food.

It's produced by stripping and then drying the bark from cinnamon trees.

Never going to... look at a smelly cinnamon stick

ever again in the same way.

OK. I'll give it another go.

It ain't easy. It looks easy but it's not, it takes a lot of effort.

Cinnamon workers only earn about £15 a week.

Would you like not to work?

Would she like not to work?

HE TRANSLATES

She likes, but when she doesn't she can't live.

Tell her she should get her children to go and get a job.

She says that she's lazy to be at home.

If my mum was your age and she was working in these places, I'd come and work in one of these for my mum.

-Yes.

-I would.

I feel sorry for them. She looks knackered, like...

Six o'clock in the morning till like 11 or 12 at night...

That, it's ridiculous. And now I wanted to cry.

she proper broke my heart and that.

I think in myself today I found I can actually care for someone

that I don't know, and that's a lot for me because

I don't give no-one a chance. For some reason this trip has...

made by soft side come out and I'm not used to it,

it's like freaking me out at the moment.

-Bye.

-Bye.

After their argument earlier in the day, Brindley wants to talk to Nicki

about her aggressive behaviour.

I'm not scared for myself, I'm scared for people.

If you get angry what, how will you...?

I'll probably smack you in the face or head butt you.

Do you know what I mean?

You wouldn't be the first. I'd just go for you.

-That's what comes naturally?

-That's what comes naturally.

I'd probably stab you in the eye with my high heels or something.

I can't control it.

-Sometimes take a deep breath?

-No, I've tried that.

When I had anger management, some woman had puppets

and I smacked her with one of the puppets because...

Really, that's not going to work for me, puppets.

Her anger is not something that just comes naturally,

it's something she has built

as a wall to hide behind. When you're insecure you tend to

use anger as a barrier to protect yourself

from what you were scared of or what you fear.

The British teens are halfway through their week

with the DeZylva family.

Mandy thinks Jerri's attitude to helping others

still needs to change.

She's found her some voluntary work at a local care home.

I've arranged, Jerri,

for you to go to a place where you will be able to make use

of what you do best, your make-up skills and your beauty therapy.

Make everyone beautiful and I'm sure you'll feel beautiful.

I will.

-And you come and tell me all about it.

-I will.

I hope the experience will teach her that beauty is but skin deep.

And that true beauty is what these people have,

which shines out all the time regardless.

But of course, everything depends on one's willingness to learn.

The Cheshire home offers care to 48 residents with physical and mental disabilities.

84-year-old Gladys runs the home with a team of volunteers.

When you really come here and do things,

you really have the satisfaction.

To know you are coming here to do all this,

it's also a great thing to look forward to.

Gladys has arranged for Jerri to do make-up sessions for some of the residents.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-I'm Jerri.

-I'm Gladys.

-Hello.

-How are you?

I'm so happy you're here.

Very nice of you to come and volunteer to do some work here with all our residents.

I think they're really happy to see you.

You can always put a smile on their faces.

-First time you've been in a home like this?

-Yeah.

Hello. I'm Jerri. Hello.

This is Laxma. This is Chitra.

This is Jerri.

She wants to shake hands.

What's she doing?

But... What?

-Balloon.

-Balloon?

-She wants balloons.

Where the hell are balloons?

No, she always asks people for balloons.

Come.

I want to stop now. I want to stop.

Hold on, I'll be two seconds.

I'm going outside. I need some air.

I can't do that. I can't.

I can't do it. No way.

MEMBER OF PRODUCTION TEAM: What's the matter?

I can't do that. I can't sit there with people who are not on my wavelength. I can't.

I can't even talk to them.

That just freaked me right out.

What is it that freaks you out?

She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards her.

I don't like things like that. I hate things like that.

I've never been to a disability home in my life, but I don't like it at all. At all.

I swear to God.

-I can't do it. I'm not emotionally ready for this.

-No.

I can't. Seriously.

I've never, ever had an experience like this and it's making me frightened. I don't like it.

Don't get frightened. These are unfortunate people.

But we must try to help them, and you can count your blessings and say that you're OK like this.

She must not be afraid of anyone odd-looking.

I know they're all looking not normal,

but most of them are mentally a little disturbed, so they look odd.

She must have been a little upset, seeing so many at once.

Despite talking to Gladys, Jerri is still refusing to do any make-overs for the residents.

-When I walked in there and saw the people, I thought,

-"BLEEP

-this,"

and walked back out. That's what went through my head.

-I can't believe I just sat next to someone in a

-BLEEP

-nuthouse that I don't want to be at.

Can we go? I hate it with a passion.

-Hate's a strong word, but I

-BLEEP

-hate it, I just want to go.

I want to go. Come on, can we go?

Brindley is so concerned by Nicki's anger problems, he's taking her

to visit the family's Buddhist priest, the Reverend Olande Ananda.

I get the impression she feels anger is the best defence, or weapon, she has.

She's taken an element of pride in having it,

because she's got away with a lot of things and achieved what she wants with this anger.

So, the way we could help her is to help her to manage it.

Reverend Olande Ananda could relate to her and maybe reach to her.

Because he is used to relating to

troubled children, especially from the West. He could understand the Western mindset.

With a little guidance, I think she can be a great lady.

You can help me carry this stuff.

But after being dropped off by Brindley, Nicki's already

getting wound up about the no shoes rule inside the temple.

Take off my shoes to go in there?

No way.

I don't like feet. He knows full well I don't like feet.

So, he's bringing me somewhere I'm going to see loads of feet around.

So, Nicki, how do you like the place?

Your first impression?

I like it, but I can't go inside.

-Because of?

-Because I don't like feet and I'm not taking off my shoes.

-So, let us make what is called a one-time exception...

-No.

-..for you.

-What, I can keep my shoes on?

-Keep your shoes on.

-Oh, thank you.

-You're lovely, you are.

-Thank you.

I hope your shoes are clean.

You can wipe them when you come in.

Nicki's anger problems got worse five years ago, after her dad's identity was revealed to her

by her sister on the day of their grandfather's funeral.

She didn't even know her dad until she was 13, through my father's funeral.

That was the first day she met her real dad.

Awkward.

Horrible place to meet, because I'd just lost a loved one.

I got told he was my dad.

That was only because my sister told me.

My mum weren't going to tell me.

I had massive arguments with my mum about it.

Throughout her childhood, Nicki's mum kept her dad's identity secret.

She thought she was acting in Nicki's best interests,

but the deception has driven a wedge between them.

I think that's why she blames me.

She blames me all the time.

That's where that's coming from.

I know you can't turn back the years and undo what went wrong,

but I'd love Nicki to go back to the way she used to be.

The loving, happy child she was.

And I want her to love me again, like she did before.

My anger is really bad. When it comes up, that's it, I can't control it.

Ah, right. You get angry?

-Yes, very angry.

-Really?

I'd say about 80% of the day, I'm angry.

80% of the time?

Yeah. It's really hard to control.

It scares me sometimes.

Right. So, do you have any idea where the anger comes from?

I got let down by someone in the past.

They ruined my trust completely.

Right. That was a very, very bad experience.

Yes. But I've still got a lot of hate in me because of it.

It would be a pity, in a way, if this is going to

spoil a lot of your life, actually.

I still think about it a lot, so...

Meditation is at the core of the Buddhist way of life.

After helping to serve lunch to the monks, Nicki's agreed to see if it might help control her anger.

What we do is just feel at home, sitting here now.

We close the eyes gently.

Relax.

Let us then develop the good quality of universal loving kindness.

By wishing from your heart.

May I be free...from anger and fear.

Peaceful...

and happy.

HE CHANTS

And while relaxing body and mind,

you can slowly, slowly open your eyes.

'I've never thought of using meditation before.'

To be honest, I've always thought

it's a waste of time, just sitting on a pillow, closing your eyes.

But I see it's not.

I've learned a lot about myself today.

I learned I can control my anger.

I'd be a much happier person if I wasn't so angry all the time.

I'm actually quite jolly today.

Keep smiling. It's not like me.

She's quite happy, I think.

Back at the house, a letter's arrived from Nicki's mum.

-A letter for you.

-Thank you.

"Dear Nicki, I know you are unhappy being so angry all the time.

"I know it's a way of pushing people away and keeping a distance so you are never hurt or let down.

"But you are never going to be happy until you find the strength to drop

"your guard and allow people to get close again.

"Your anger is tearing me apart.

"It makes me so sad.

"I'm sorry if I haven't always been there for you. I'm sorry for the mistakes I have made.

"Love you forever and see you Sunday.

"I can't wait. Love, Mum."

Loads of kisses.

I know she loves me.

I love her too, but it's just hard.

Don't know. She's right, though. I do hide, and I do push everyone away,

because I've been hurt in the past.

I don't want to be angry, I want to be happy.

I just want to cuddle her and say sorry.

And I'll change. Or I'll try to change.

The British teens are nearing the end of their stay in Sri Lanka.

Mandy wants to know why Jerri ran out of the care home.

I think I find it so difficult because I'm not used to seeing...

disability people.

I think the bigger thing is that

you come out of it and realise it is who you are that matters,

not what you own, not what you have,

not what you look, but what you are.

I don't know what came over me, I just thought I had to get out of this place.

I would like you to think that you are fortunate,

that you should have realised that other people

who are far less fortunate, who have nothing,

who have nobody, they are just there waiting for somebody's charity.

-Yes. I think that's what I'd like you to take home with you.

-OK.

After talking to Mandy, Jerri's decided to go through with the make-overs,

and Nicki and the family's 13-year-old daughter Samaakhya

have agreed to go with her.

I want Jerri to come back again, for her to give another chance to see

what they like. You are not supposed to judge people

by the way they look, what matters is inside.

Jerri is very nervous, but I think she's not used to it

and that's why she gets a bit scared.

-That's the one I got really scared of.

-Why?

-She grabbed my hand.

-Do you want your nails done?

-Put your hand on the table.

-Yeah.

You should just try once.

Erm...

-Shall I do her other hand?

-Yes.

Jerri's going to do your other hand.

-All right?

-Hello.

I'm right shaking.

-There you go - like them?

-Yes.

-Good.

Yes, I really enjoy doing beauty and that, I think it's brilliant.

I feel more relaxed than I did when I...ooh...

when I first came here.

-Do you want this hand this colour?

-That one this colour?

Aw, massive smile!

Tell her she looks pretty.

SHE TRANSLATES

Aww!

Did you see all their faces? Smiling.

I know, they were so grateful.

-I don't suppose they get many people just coming in and doing things like that.

-No.

I can't get over just how lucky I am.

My sister, she's 14, she's got a brain age of

a four- or five-year-old. She's proper, like, well behind.

-Wow.

-And at times she's like hyperactive, she's special needs.

She's at a special needs school.

Yeah.

At home, I'm so selfish, and I'm just so lazy and I just don't think of others.

But been here today, is just, like, there are people out there that are so worse-off.

And I just think, "Why am I like that?"

And today when I gave something back, it just felt good.

It takes a lot of courage to come back and do something that you were so scared of last time.

This little girl wants a balloon so much, I just want to give her one now.

Have you got a balloon, Martin?

Have you got a balloon?

Look! I've got two for you.

I think what I've learnt is everyone's the same, no matter how they look.

We all have feelings, and we are all human,

so I suppose I was a bit nasty to just walk out the way I did.

But I think they forgive me.

..Cucumber and tomato...

Thank you, Mary.

Back home, the girls are enjoying their last night with the family.

Guess what, we've made you something. Come and see it.

Thank you!

-Thank you.

-It's OK. You're welcome. And it's also to remind you of us.

You can say, "We had two troubled teenagers and tried putting them straight."

Very sweet of you.

-There you go.

-Thank you so much.

The British girls' time in Sri Lanka has come to an end.

I hope you take some good memories.

And always know there's someone who's far worse off than you.

Oh, you lot are so lovely.

I think Mandy and Brindley are good because they just show you

another life, so it makes you appreciate what you've got at home.

And I can go home now, and I'll be a little bit calmer

and a little more relaxed and not so stressed all the time.

I think Mandy and Brindley are absolutely lovely.

The way they give so much is absolutely amazing.

They've taught me that it is what's inside that counts, at the end of the day.

I'd like to think that she might have learnt from this experience

a little bit of appreciation, maybe a little bit more respect.

Hello.

It's just really hit me, I think,

more than I was expecting anything to, being with people

that are just so less fortunate, it sort of make me think, "Wow".

I didn't realise, actually, how selfish I was.

Because I felt so selfish when I just ran out of that house, when I ran out of the home.

But it's just, when I was out in Sri Lanka, I thought, "I just want my mum."

But I think I value my family so much now.

Well, I'm glad you've realised that, anyway.

Because I am here for you.

Come on, you know you want to!

If she's not going to be selfish any more, that would be fantastic.

To hear those words, really, if that's how she feels, then let's keep our fingers crossed.

I really am looking forward to seeing her, but I'm so nervous,

it's like meeting her for the first time after about ten years!

I've really missed her.

I'm not quite sure what to expect.

I'm home, sweet home!

I love you.

I missed you!

I missed you too.

Oh, Mum, don't cry.

-Sorry.

-It's OK. Don't cry.

-I didn't want to cry.

We learnt to do meditation.

-Did that help?

-Yeah!

-Yeah, they say meditation helps you if you're angry.

-Yeah.

-Perhaps you should do that more often.

I know I've been a complete bitch over the years, and I'm sorry.

I just want to say sorry to you, Nicki, I should have been there for you.

I am your mother, at the end of the day.

I'm just happy right now to be home.

'This is a new start for me and Nicki.'

And when she walked through the door, you could just see the relaxed Nicki.

The Nicki that I used to know.

And you could see that in her face, which was lovely.

I think Nicki with the attitude she's got at the moment, I think it's all positive.

-Next time on World's Strictest Parents...

-Are you ready?

It's not really ready, you just told me it's going to be half an hour!

..little princess Anastasia Jones and angry young man Eden Lelliott Moore...

You don't show this household and the people in this house, respect.

-I ain't going to change nothing.

-..get new parents in Florida.

I really don't think this is about the fence.

It is about the fence! I don't want to paint a fence any more.

It's a fence, and I don't want to paint it any more.

In this weather, I'm not sweating, I'm not sweeping up rubbish.

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