Western Cape, South Africa The World's Strictest Parents

Around the world, many parents raise their kids on a diet of strict discipline...

As I'm the head of the house, I expect them to obey these rules whether we are right or not.

-..rigid boundaries...

-Say sorry, you will not do again.

My father controls my life every day.

Will we see some progress in five minutes?

-..and immediate consequences...

-LIDS CLATTER

Stop!

But can traditional parenting change the lives of rebellious British teenagers?

Come and get me, I'm drinking underage!

I took LSD, cocaine, ecstasy, weed, MDMA, ketamine...

When you're 17, you definitely need to go out and party,

because, before you know it, you'll be like, "That's it, game over."

I'm not coming back today, by the way. See you in 20 years!

She's so incredibly rude. She's just a cow, really.

-Do not swear at me.

-Dad, just be quiet!

I don't really care what people think about me, rules are made for breaking.

To find out, two teens who have never met before will leave their fraught families behind...

-Come on, give us a hug...

-Behave yourself, I'm not joking, behave.

..and head off to the far corners of the world where they will live

according to strict rules imposed by new parents.

HOWLS OF LAUGHTER

-Do you want a punch?

-No.

-Do you want a punch?

-No.

Get off me, get off.

Do me a favour and, for once, put some effort into your life!

Move out, go out, just go out!

-The world does not revolve around you.

-That's why I'm trying to walk away, she's following me!

They can't programme me.

If all the British teenagers were like them...no good.

Come and get me, I'm drinking underage!

17-year-old schoolgirl Charlie Denny

treats life like one big joke.

There's nothing serious to my life at all

and I refuse to take anything seriously.

I've been drinking since I was about 12.

I go out three or four times a week and down nine or ten pints....

Yes! There's been points where I've been crawling across tables,

when I've been so pissed, like knocking glasses over in pubs

and I've been kicked out for being too drunk!

'Bringing Charlotte up has been a very, very challenging'

experience from day one.

Put a lid on it.

She never thinks for one minute about anybody else other than herself.

Bring your dirty clothes down,

learn how to use the washing machine, a Hoover, clear the table.

No, that's bollocks, no, that's bollocks!

We don't exist, we're purely, sort of what we would call,

-what's the word I'm looking for...?

-I think we're just staff!

-You're

-BLEEP,

-a total

-BLEEP!

SHE SNIGGERS

Despite thousands of pounds spent on a private education,

Charlie barely scraped together six GCSEs.

-The cost of educating one child from 2½ to 16 is approximately £300,000.

-Yes

I think my parents did waste a lot of money on my education, yeah.

I feel very sorry for them.

Her teachers always described her as being somebody that had

-a lot of potential, but...

-Just doesn't bother.

-She's lazy.

Though her parents have given her everything,

they don't get much back in the way of thanks,

especially as dad Bob has been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis,

a disease that attacks nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord.

-She was quite young when you were first diagnosed, probably four or five, wasn't she?

-Yes.

And probably too young to understand what it was then.

I don't really talk to my dad about my future or anything,

cos he's probably got his own stuff going on, you know.

And why would he want to hear about that?

We want to see her feel fulfilled with her life

and, the way she's going at the moment,

she's self destructing and it's looking like a crashing mess.

Up the road in Woking, there's another teenager

pushing the self-destruct button.

17-year-old Hamzah Wali always likes to act the big man.

Spending time hitting the town with his mates

is more important than planning his future.

Going out with the lads smoking, chilling, drinking,

getting high - standard.

You think why not, you know, you only live once.

When he can be bothered to turn up,

Hamzah is supposed to be at college studying mechanics.

Absent, absent, absent...

This is bollocks, man.

No, Mum, I don't need those exams.

No, I don't. Relax, Mum.

I'm not lying and cheating.

My mum is saying how come you're not going to college? You've got to go.

Why have you been bunking all this, stuff like I've got to sort myself out.

Relax, Mum. Chill.

Hamzah's older sister Sairah spends her time trying to keep tabs on him.

And you've not attended your exams!

Oh, yeah, I've got to redo that, that's standard. Woo! Chillax!

The reason why I'm angry

is because we want him to get the qualifications.

I mean, I don't want him to be one of the drop outs.

Hamzah's behaviour has his traditional Pakistani family fearing the worst.

'He used to be a very fine boy,'

but now he's getting out of hand.

Go to town, piss around and see the lads and see what's going on.

-BLEEP,

-standard!

Their mentality is different from mine.

Mine is more Western, theirs is more from Pakistan.

The things I'm not allowed are drinking, smoking,

smoking weed, having a girlfriend,

having a conversation with a woman right now, if you get me.

He makes it difficult for my parents,

he makes it really hard for my mum.

Because there's only so much you can tolerate.

Fridays are our prayer day.

When it comes to Friday, Hamzah's still asleep and it's already

one o'clock and that's normally the prayer time he should be in Mosque.

They want to pick and choose for me and I don't want that,

I want to do it for myself.

To me, it seems as if Hamzah has just lost that respect then...

he's lost himself.

To teach the teenagers to grow up and take responsibility for their lives,

both families are sending them to stay with new parents to live under a strict regime.

-Be good.

-I will. OK.

Take care, yeah, see you soon.

Don't worry, I'll sort myself out.

Take good care, OK, Hamzah!

Now, Charlie,

if you hear anything go raaarr, just run!

-Bye, sweetheart.

-Bye.

We're going to miss you.

Bye, sweetheart.

I hope that she will be a little bit more helpful when she comes home.

Perhaps be more respectful towards Bob and I.

-A bit of constructive input from her wouldn't go amiss.

-Yeah.

We look forward to seeing how and if there are any changes upon her return.

-Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you too.

-SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

-Dreading it?

-Yeah. Scared as.

Oh, wow, we're going on an adventure together. Ha, ha!

The teens are travelling over 6,000 miles

to South Africa's Western Cape.

It's Africa's richest nation, home to 50 million people,

both the super rich and the destitute.

They will be staying in Plettenberg Bay, with the du Toit de Vos family.

Mum Anna-Marie is a barrister, and second Mum Suzanne is an artist.

They have two children, Nuschka, 22 and Reid, 19.

As long as you live in this house,

doesn't matter whether you're 22 or 12,

you have to follow our rules and principles,

-honesty, responsibility.

-Compassion.

Anna-Marie and Suzanne love challenges.

Together as a gay couple,

they took on the entire South African legal system

to fight the laws preventing gay adoption.

We decided to challenge the rule in South Africa that says

gay people can't adopt together, because it's, it's ridiculous,

and we won the case.

The mums have worked just as hard ensuring their kids get a good education.

Daughter Nuschka is in her third year at University studying wine-making.

Most of the population in the country

don't have enough to actually feed the whole family.

If you can go to school and improve your lifestyle, it's an absolute privilege.

And 19-year-old Reid is studying for his matric, the South African equivalent to A-levels.

Basically, that's the foundation to your future.

Education to me is important because my future is important.

The mums bought the farm eight years ago, so they could spend

more time with their children and live a more sustainable lifestyle.

We haven't got electricity, you've got

to fetch wood to make a fire, you've got to carry water for your bath.

You've got to feed the animals, you've got to milk the cows,

so it's the kind of environment where you have to make a contribution.

Nothing is for free. Everything comes with effort.

If you want to take part in life, you have to put that effort in.

After an 11-hour flight,

the teens touch down in South Africa.

The drive to Anna-Marie and Suzanne's farm takes the teens past the local township.

What the...? Look at the houses here!

Would you like to live in one of those?

-Nah, I don't think so.

-It looks good.

-Yeah, looks good, my arse.

-It's just different.

The dad's probably like the quiet one, it'll be the mum that's really strict.

Look at the place. "Our dogs eat people".

In a traditional Pakistani family like Hamzah's,

the man is always the head of the household.

Are those two blokes. Are those two blokes?

No, don't say that. I think that's a woman.

Actually, no, is it two women? I don't know.

-Oi! There's two women. What the

-BLEEP!

-Oh, wow!

-HAMZAH:

-You go in there, I ain't going!

Maybe they don't want to get out?

Oh...two women!

-Hi, guys.

-Yeah, hi.

Hello, hello, hello. I'm Anna-Marie, nice to meet you.

-I'm Charlie.

-Nice to meet you.

-Hamzah.

-Hamzah. Anna-Marie, nice to meet you. Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Hopefully.

OK, let's go.

Come on, this is Nuschka. This is Charlie, Hamzah.

Nice to meet you.

I'm Charlie, nice to meet you.

The five-bed farmhouse will be the teens' home for the next week.

OK, now, Hamzah, this is your room.

If you're cold at night, please tell us to get more blankets, OK.

-That's not going to be a problem.

-OK.

-OK.

Oh, wow!

So this is real farm living,

no electricity, no hot water,

you'll just get used to it.

This is the thing though that scares me.

Literally think about it, we are so far away no-one can hear us scream.

I had no idea it was going to be like this, honestly.

-And we're staying with two women as well, how the

-BLEEP

-does that work?

I forgot the names again, innit?

-The names are Anna-Marie.

-Yes.

-And I'm Suzanne.

-Suzanne?

-Yes.

And, actually, at your age in South Africa,

in our Afrikaans-speaking community, you should call me Tunny.

-Tunny?

-Tunny means Auntie!

And then there's...

-Nuschka.

-Nuschka.

-And Reid.

-Reid.

-Yah.

And we can write them down if that helps.

-And did you like adopt them or...?

-We did.

Yes, we adopted them together, they are brother and sister.

But we adopted them when Nuschka was six-years-old and Reid was two and a half.

'It's a way of being that he doesn't know,

'and I think that is worrying him a bit.'

He looks to me a combination of being scared and angry,

which those things usually go together.

I think at the moment he is a bit scared, I suspect that,

once the fear has subsided, more of the anger will come out.

Before they fully welcome Hamzah and Charlie

as new members of the family,

the mums want to lay down the law for the next seven days.

Maybe you don't know this, but I'm a lawyer and, for me, the law is very important.

We are offering you hospitality, we expect you to also accept our rules.

No drinking, no drugs, no sex,

or obscene language whilst staying with us.

Definitely no smoking in the house.

Your rules seem fair enough, it's just the drinking one I have a problem with.

But it's against the law.

I know, but a small drink with dinner is not a problem, is it?

-It is and I'll tell you why...

-If you're 17, it's a problem.

Because I'm a lawyer, I can't allow people to break the law in our house.

I'm sure you're going to be fine.

Everybody who lives in this house does have to contribute

to the running of the house. Because it is a farm

and because there's a lot to do, everybody has to pull their weight.

We get up at 6:30 in the morning.

I've got a problem with that one.

You won't have a problem.

Yeah. You will see. You will go to school with Reid.

I don't like going to school.

Let's just take it one day at a time. I want you to sign the document

so that we know you have accepted our rules.

OK, there is one for each of you.

Because the family are switching to renewable energy, power is rationed in the evenings.

I'm back in Charles Dickens' time.

Why am I back in Charles Dickens times?

Eating dinners with them. Oh, that's awkward situations.

Like talking, having jokes while you're eating dinner.

The school situation as well, ah, we've got to go to school here.

Man, I don't want to go to school.

You can't live with no electricity.

I think it's almost, against human rights, almost, to live like that.

That's not right.

Back home, Hamzah is used to doing his own thing

and that includes avoiding eating with his own family.

Have you peeled potatoes before?

Can I not go have some rest or something?

As soon as you peel the potatoes, I can cook the chips and I do make nice chips.

-Then you can have supper and you can go to bed.

-But I don't want to do it.

I know you don't want to do it. Come on.

I'm not going to eat the chips. So why do I need to peel them?

Because I'm asking you nicely. Come on.

You're doing very well there.

You look like a natural.

Despite the encouragement, Hamzah loses interest.

I think it's called throwing a tantrum of some sort.

He has to participate. I'm not going to allow this again.

He seems not willing to be open or share.

-And it is not going to go very well.

-It won't go well.

He probably won't get very far.

Hamz...wake up.

Wake up, Jesus... I am so pissed off.

I've got to go have dinner with them on my own.

In this house, every meal starts the same way.

# Thank you, God, for helping us Through rain and sunny weather

# Thank you, God For this good food

# And that we are together. Amen. #

We are very pleased to announce Reid is doing really well at school at the moment,

which is fantastic, because it wasn't always like that.

I had a terrible time at like school. I used to not get on with my teachers at all,

this is like the age of five, I'm not joking, I used to argue with teachers and stuff,

-I used to argue back.

-That sounds familiar, Nuschka and Reid.

And grade ten!

-That's all right. I mean, there's no shame here.

-No, no, no, that's what you think.

You know, if you look at school and you think, "OK, I don't like this class, I don't like that teacher."

I tried to explain to both Reid and Nuschka that it's not about liking the teacher,

because the teacher's going to get 3,000 other kids through.

It's about liking yourself and thinking,

"Where am I going with this? Where am I going with my life?"

Do I want to take part? You know.

It's 6.30.

Dang!

It's 6.30.

-It's not even light yet, where's the

-BLEEP

-sun?

In South Africa, there is no social welfare

and, without a good education, it's a short step away from poverty.

This morning, the mothers are sending the teens to the same school that Reid goes to, Wittedrift High.

All you need to do is stand... There you go.

-Hamzah.

-Mm-hm.

-We've got to leave in about two minutes.

I just don't want to go, man.

It's just that same feeling I used to get before.

We know the headmaster quite well. We know all the teachers, Nuschka has been through that school,

Reid's in his final year.

-Try to remember today.

-Set an example and stuff.

-Exactly.

And we all get what we want.

OK, Good luck, hey.

Wittedrift is a strict and well disciplined school of 450 pupils.

The head master, Mr Bouwer,

believes in nurturing the students as individuals.

What we expect of our students is to allow the best in themselves

to come out to the full, whatever their best is.

We want every child to know their value, their importance.

Back in the UK, both Charlie and Hamzah hated school.

First of all, just let me say welcome to Wittedrift High.

If I can summarise exactly what our school is about,

our school is about respecting one another.

We expect you to respect what we have,

who we are and what we do, that's all.

We hope you're going to learn a lot and that, when you go back, you're going to have a fond memories.

SINGING

This morning, we have special guests from the UK.

Charlotte on the right-hand side and then, on the left-hand side, is Hamzah.

And I'm going to ask one or two of you unprompted just to say a short word of welcome.

I would like to welcome our two guest, two students from the UK,

Charlotte and Hamzah, to our small school with a great big heart.

Back home, instead of studying, Hamzah spends his time doing drugs with his college mates.

A habit he's finding hard to quit here.

-Do you get buzz in here?

-A what?

-Can you get buzz in here?

-Really. Can you get some for me anyway?

-Um, no.

I want to get...

Hamzah, he's different to the people back here, I don't think he has many boundaries.

There's differences here like there's punishment,

there's physical activity you have to do if you do something wrong,

-which probably will be happening pretty soon.

-Yeah, it's tough

It's exam time, so Hamzah and Charlie are going

to be sitting the basic English language test

along with the rest of their year group.

You will probably find them pretty basic.

The exam will be supervised by deputy head, Mrs Olfstead.

We cover the comprehension, we do the summary, we do visual literacy.

-Right?

-Mm-hm.

-Right, any questions?

-No.

-Right, in you go and let's get you seated.

They'll have two hours to finish the English language paper.

With 11 official languages in South Africa, English is not the mother tongue of Wittedrift pupils.

So this exam should be a doddle for the British teens.

(Piss easy. Like, I'm actually offended.)

Charlie's finding it a breeze, but Hamzah seems to be struggling.

Have you tried everything?

-Or have you just done this?

-So far, I've done up to there.

You must try, don't be such a wuss, keep trying. Come on.

Hamzah doesn't seem to be trying.

He just put his head down. It's as if he doesn't care and I said to him,

"You know, I need something to mark" and that didn't even motivate him.

I'd be interested to hear what his reason is

for putting his head down and having a quick nap.

ALARM BEEPS

The exam is over.

But coping with an entire morning of the school and its rules

is starting to wear Charlie down.

I don't even know where I'm supposed to go?

I don't know where I'm supposed to be going.

It does actually remind me of my old school quite a lot.

Because, like, you know everyone is quite friendly and stuff,

but no-one really understands.

It's just everyone is like getting on and with their own thing and I can't do it.

I'm just totally lost like in this like sea of people.

I mean, it's a small school and everything

but I don't know the timetable, I don't know anything. I don't know where I'm going.

Can we just bunk? Seriously.

-Do you want to bunk?

-Please I just can't be arsed.

-You wanna bunk? Seriously?

I don't actually care. Anything is actually better than just like sitting in a classroom

doing a subject that I don't need to do.

I've been doing it for 16 years, I don't see why I have to go back.

I don't see why I've got to do this again.

-Who's coming?

-It's strictly against school rules to leave the premises without permission.

The headmaster, Mr Bouwer, has had enough of their bad behaviour.

Listen, you two, are you acting up now? Give it to me flat, straight up, are you acting up?

-The quiz was hard.

-No, I think you're acting up, I must be honest.

You didn't want to put in any effort.

And it seems like now you're not interested in that.

-You're important to me.

-OK.

-You're important to the school

and we're responsible for you.

So now, what I have to do is I'm going to take you with me

and you're going to spend the day with me in my company.

We've been here two hours

and we've already been called into the headmaster's office.

I don't think we've actually done anything that wrong.

Corporal punishment was banned in South Africa in the 1990s.

But physical punishment is still widely used to reinforce good behaviour.

So the teens are going on an eight-kilometre bike ride.

OK. There's no way the young lady can beat you.

How does that work? Ride a bike for punishment.

We have the option, when students transgress, to suspend them from school.

We feel suspending the child and sending them back home is actually worsening the problem.

So we do this type of positive activity which reinforces the basics of life,

and that is that you do what is right and you do it properly.

In Afrikaans, we call him a... "pampoen"

because it kind of describes the main speed that he is driving at.

Look at me, man. I feel like shit, man, honestly.

Despite her bravado, Charlie only received 26 out of 50 in her English paper

and Hamzah didn't even try to finish.

Appalled by their performance,

Mrs Olfstead has called Suzanne in to talk through the problems.

-Eh, Hamzah he went to sleep.

-Did he?

-I had to wake him

and remind him that here we write exams.

And then, almost like the cherry on the cake, they hit the road and they left the property.

-Mr Bouwer running after them...

-Oh, dear.

-..bringing them back.

He had to reprimand them.

And I just got the feeling that they see this as a bit of a joke.

I am disappointed, because I didn't think it would be quite this bad.

Hamzah...will you both come down?

OK. You remember when you arrived here.

If I speak, I would like you to look at me. OK?

When you arrived here, we explained to you that we are opening our house and our home for you guys

and I don't expect any favours back or any love or kindness, I do expect participation.

And you will remember that both Suzanne and I asked you guys please don't embarrass us.

Now the question is why would you do that

after all the effort that everybody put in?

You know, you fell asleep, the teacher had to wake you up.

You're not going to try and tell me that you didn't know

you're not allowed to go out of the school gates.

Are you impressed with yourself, young lady?

I don't think that I have, like, made myself look that bad at all.

I mean, I've been pleasant, I've been polite

But that is exactly my point,

being pleasant and polite is not what it's all about only.

What would it help if somebody who is paying me to do their court case?

If I go to court tomorrow for Mr Nel,

I can be as pleasant and polite as I want.

If I don't put in the effort, what am I doing there?

And the same for you. You go to school, these people, they put in the effort to assist you

and, although it's boring, and you are not interested in it,

being pleasant and polite is not enough.

Effort, you have to put in the effort.

Sorry, but I'm done with this. That is bollocks.

Because we haven't done anything wrong.

I don't think we've done anything wrong at all.

School was a disaster for the British teens.

But Anna-Marie is determined that Hamzah and Charlie

learn the value of hard work and preparing for the future.

So today, the teens are set to work on the farm.

There you go. Our first tree, Suzanny!

The plan is to plant a circle of fig trees.

-Are you feeling exhausted?

-Yeah.

-How many holes?

I feel like a slave.

-I'm getting old.

-I feel old right now.

-It's a mission, innit?

-It's a mission. But the thing is,

planting trees is a bit like studying more.

It's not about the moment, the moment may not be so fantastic,

but it's what you achieve in the end.

I tend not to think about it and put it in the back of my head.

Well, it's probably the kind of outlook one would have

when you're 17, but it's not going to get you anywhere.

Are you making your parents happy?

I tend not to think about that either.

I think that means the answer is "no".

SHE LAUGHS

OK, let's not worry about your future,

let's worry about my tree house. OK.

Thinking ahead is not one of my strong points, no.

Why should you plan ahead?

What's the point? You could die tomorrow. Live for now.

This is bollocks. I ain't doing this, man.

At home in Woking,

17-year-old Hamzah is used to running away from his problems.

-I can't be

-BLEEP,

-innit? I see no point in it.

Hamzah's rebellion has only lasted six minutes,

but Anna-Marie has had enough.

Listen, Hamzah, I'm not quite sure where you think you are.

Can you please look at me when I talk you to you?

I'm very angry. I'll tell you why,

you've been behaving extremely badly.

Look at me when I speak to you. You're a child in this house.

I am your parent whilst your parents are not here, OK?

I don't care whether you like planting trees.

I don't care whether you think it's a good idea

or whether it's purposeless or purposeful.

You know what I care about?

I care about the fact that you, at the moment,

are leading a purposeless life.

And you know that and that's why you're here.

-Put down that cigarette.

-Can I finish it?

No, kill it, I've had enough of you. Kill that cigarette now.

In case you're going to burn the farm down.

Get into the car and let's go and work. Come on.

Just do me a favour and, for once, put some effort into your life.

Don't be so useless, man. Come on!

If your parents could see you now, they would be absolutely horrified.

Come on!

Don't do this to me, OK? It's embarrassing.

I don't want to be angry with you.

We are doing our bloody damndest to help you.

You're the problem, not me, I'm a success in life.

-You are going nowhere.

-SHE MUTTERS IN AFRIKAANS

Get a life.

I planted that one and that one.

The thing that he does is, he treats everybody as his equal, but he's not my equal.

Not only am I much older than him, I've achieved something in my life.

He has no life.

And, in that sense, he can learn something from us,

but it's as if he's blocking himself.

Despite Hamzah's work-shy attitude,

the job is finished to the mums' satisfaction.

-We did it!

-Yeah, we did it.

-It took a bit of huffing and puffing.

-Thanks, Charlie.

-Thanks, Hamzah. Thanks, Charlie.

-You've done a great job. Amazing.

-What happened then?

-She went off at me, I did a minor little thing here.

The way she had a go at me was like I killed someone.

What did she say because I didn't...

She said, "You're acting like a kid, put out your cigarette,"

and all this shit. "Get in the car, I've dealt with kids like you!

"Look at me, get in the car, finish the job and..."

I was so close to storming off, I was just like,

"Oh, I just want to go to bed."

I thought I could sweet-talk her, but no, you can't.

I knew she had some balls in her, bruv.

I could tell she is the solid one out of the family.

She is the man of the family.

She can probably tell that I'm, like, scared of her a little bit, so I'm like...

-They are going to be nicer with you because you're a girl, 100%. I'm a guy.

-Yeah, probably.

Anna-Marie believes that children need discipline

AND love from their parents.

-Give me that side.

-Are you sure? Fantastic, wonderful.

So she doesn't hold a grudge and quickly draws Hamzah back in.

Here he comes.

Bath time might be Dickensian,

but the mums have a long-term plan to generate their own electricity.

-Thank you very much.

-All right.

I'm putting money away every month for that

and, as soon as I have enough, we're going to put up wind power.

You've got everything planned and that

and, like, you've got something to look forward to.

I haven't even got a plan to finish college or not so...

When I was 17, I didn't have everything planned.

I went to seven schools,

we lived in 27 places.

My father couldn't keep a job,

so we kept on moving from one place to the other.

And I thought, "Hmm, do I want to have that kind of life?"

I just had a picture in my head

and I think pretty much I've done well in terms of my picture

and I was wondering what your picture was.

It's a lot different, like, a lot of family issues,

a lot of family problems, so it is hard.

I've grown up with problems all my life, to be honest with you. Um, I don't tend to think about it,

I just keep it at the back of my head because it gets to me.

And like it's got to that point now where my parents have not...

Given up, in other words,

because I don't really do anything at home.

And your parents, what do they say if you're not taking part?

I don't sit and eat with them, nothing like that. I eat in my room.

I basically live in my room, to be honest with you.

Don't they miss you?

I think they do, yeah.

I used to go to college and that and, you know, I don't go now,

I just can't be bothered, I find it long.

-What are you studying?

-Mechanics.

-So why didn't you go on?

-It's just long.

-No. No, you have to.

You can't forever be 17 and go dancing and drinking. It gets boring.

And, if that's what you've done and you've got nothing else to fall back on, you will be bored.

That's the problem.

But it's just my way of looking at things

and you'll find your own philosophy.

# Thank you, God for a happy house For rain and sunny weather

# Thank you, God For this good food

# And that we are together

# Amen. #

It's Hamzah's first dinner at the table with the family.

All I've got to say, yeah? And don't take this in a bad way,

but I don't want to get on the wrong side of you again, bro!

LAUGHTER

It's halfway through Charlie and Hamzah's time in South Africa.

Hamzah? Hello, sweetie, it's time to get up.

This is a joke. I feel really tired, I want to go back to sleep.

HE LAUGHS THEN WHINES

Come, guys, let's move, let's move, we're going to be late.

Today, the British teens

will be visiting the local townships for the first time.

Both Suzanne and I feel that we should a make a difference

and I think, today, we are going to make a difference, you will see.

And the most important thing for us is lots of people in the township know us,

they know the name Kraaiboskloof very well,

our name's on your back and I hope it's going to be fine.

The mums live in Plettenberg Bay, a beautiful holiday destination.

But ten minutes drive from their farm

lie the surrounding townships. These settlements are home

to the majority of South Africa's black population.

The plan is to help a local family rebuild their home.

Mum and Dad and son Enrico all live in this tiny one-room shack.

That is out of order. That is definitely out of order.

You see it on the telly and you think, "It can't be that bad,"

but, when you actually come here and experience it, then you realise.

We've got everything, to be honest with you -

a roof over our heads, a bed at least, we've got clothes...

They don't have anything.

The roof is clearly not waterproof, so what we're going to do

is put plastic over, then the corrugated iron, so it's waterproof.

The inside - put a wooden floor in and put a small extension, yeah?

Because there's three people living in this house.

Hamzah seems proud to be identified

as a member of Suzanne and Anna-Marie's family.

I'm representing both mums, innit?

And I can't do anything stupid or anything like that,

because I have the T-shirt on and it says it on the back, so...

Um, a lot of people know Anna-Marie and Suzanne,

so we've just got to get on with it, to be honest with you,

and just make them happy. And... make the kid happy and the mum,

so they can live in, like, a better environment.

22-year-old Nuschka

has brought Charlie up the road to the Masizame Children's Centre.

The Masizame help the most deprived children

whose parents can't provide for their education.

Say "Charlie".

CHILDREN: Hello, Charlie, how are you? How are you today?

Education is very important.

Because, in South Africa, if you haven't got it,

you will not get a nice job.

And, for our kids, who are the poorest of the poor,

they are neglected and abused children.

So, if we can help them, I know they have a good life forward.

Monica, the head teacher,

takes Nuschka and Charlie to meet Angel,

one of the Masizame parents

who recently adopted two neglected children.

So this is one of our parents, this is Angel.

So we have two kids who are staying in the shelter,

so the mum really neglected her.

The child was burning. The whole of the hair here is off.

And then God really sent this angel out.

-Six, eight months ago, she adopted them from that side.

-Oh, wow.

So now the kids are staying with her now,

-so this is the new mama of the kids.

-Wow.

Two months ago, her husband passed away,

and thank God she adopted those two kids now,

those kids bring joy back in her life.

Such a strong woman.

I agree.

If you want to ask her something, you can ask.

-Do you have a question?

-No, I haven't really got anything. No.

Very nice to meet you.

Nuschka is surprised by Charlie's apparent lack of empathy

with other people and wants to find out why.

So, how have you felt about everything today?

I find it hard to show how I'm feeling

and, when I do show how I'm feeling, I feel really bad about it.

Why do you feel bad about it?

I don't know. I don't like to show people how I'm feeling.

I don't like people to show... How I'm genuinely like feeling.

It's just something I'm bad about.

When I cry, I get embarrassed, cos I don't want people to see me cry,

-I never like people seeing me cry.

-Are you scared it's a sign of weakness?

It is showing my true inner self and I don't like doing that.

-But it's showing honesty.

-Yeah.

-It's showing honesty of who you are.

-Yeah.

-So people understand you.

I do just want to cry, but I just, you know, I do the nervous laugh instead.

At times like this, I just laugh it off.

Charlie is the type of person that says everything to make everyone else happy

and not necessarily standing up for what she thinks.

I think she's not being honest with herself,

she's not being honest with her real self and bringing that out to people.

The shack extension is starting to take shape.

What do you think, eh? what do you think? Huh?

That looks crazy, that does.

Isn't that brilliant?

It's looking pretty good in there, like.

I never thought it would be that good.

I thought it would be getting planks of wood, dumping them on the floor,

but they did a proper job, so yeah, it's pretty sick.

Digging the shack foundations

reminds Hamzah of the last hole he dug himself into.

-Mum!

-Yeah?

-Are you free at the moment?

-Yeah.

I just wanted to say that the last time that I dug a hole

I moaned like a little girl, I admit that.

And I was a bit stupid, I didn't see the point of doing it.

But this time I am doing it, I'm really enjoying it

and I never thought I would enjoy it this much

and I just want to say thank you so much, honestly.

It's an absolute, absolute pleasure. Thank you.

It's all right.

Most parents like me don't always have to think about

why you're doing things and how you're feeling about it

and what is going to be the outcome of your actions and so on.

And suddenly this week everything you do you have to think,

why am I doing this? What am I trying to do? Where am I going to?

And I think it has done me the world of good, and Suzanne.

You know, it's quite amazing how...

..how quickly a child can get into your heart.

Anyway...

An animal rescue charity has come to the township to offer

free antiseptic baths and medical help.

Worried by Charlie bottling up her emotions,

Suzanne has decided to show her their work.

It's all right.

We all feel Charlie could just be a little more open

and honest about what is going on inside herself.

She has a good front and brave front,

but she doesn't always show what's going on behind the scenes.

Putting her in situations where she has to give a little more

of herself, you know, extend herself a beyond just the superficial.

So we'll put this first...

The average township wage is about £3 a day,

so the medical help given by team leader Kate and her staff

is essential to keep the pets healthy.

We offer primary help.

We dip the dogs, we're going to give some free vaccinations.

We're privileged enough to be able to go to the vets,

it's 100 bucks, they don't have that kind of money.

There we go, whose dog is this?

We just got a call from one of the guys up the road.

This dog was stabbed earlier on,

so we are just getting the vet to have a look at it.

The owners, they stabbed him,

because they couldn't afford to feed him and they're offering to,

you know, fix him and stuff, and they don't want him back.

I just think that's, you know, awful.

Just to put you in the picture,

we get 200 unwanted animals per month,

and we've got 25 kennels at our facility and we adopt out maybe 20,

so that means that our euthanasia figures are quite high

due to no choice.

So what's going to happen to this dog that's been stabbed?

The honest reality is we'll probably have to put him to sleep.

-You know, it's difficult.

-Yeah, it's hard.

Yeah, it's a tough one.

Until now, Charlie has kept her emotions to herself.

I laugh things off and kind of just pretend it's all OK.

I like to show that I don't care, but obviously I do care.

I'm just scared of people seeing the real me.

The shack extension is nearly finished.

I think Hamzah did brilliantly well, because he wanted to help,

you could see that and I think he made a big difference.

Before they leave, Hamzah wants to talk to the owner, Mr Bouysens.

I just want to say to him that it's been good working with him

-and helping him and to say thank you, and it's been a privilege.

-OK.

SHE TRANSLATES MESSAGE

After a long day of hard work, Charlie has gone to the dog kennels

to help feed the animals who are going to be put down.

Ah, come on, take the tablet, boy. Come on!

He's so cute!

What you did today made a big difference, a really big difference.

-I hope so.

-Absolutely.

And it was a braver thing than most people do in their life sometimes.

It's really nice that someone can be like that with me,

like really like, yeah, I'm so proud of you, I'm so proud of you.

I never hear that at home.

-Don't you?

-No.

I don't know, I don't know, I suppose I don't do anything

that makes them particularly proud, so I suppose that's probably why.

I can't imagine that.

There you are. Oh, thank you, that's so nice.

-You're so lovely!

-Thank you.

I think what happened was that she got so emotionally involved,

it kind of broke down her defences.

And I think, once one's defences are down,

that gives other things the chance to come out.

You know, you see a dog like that

and your heart goes out to it and, in a sense,

your heart goes out to every living being including yourself.

The teens' time in South Africa is almost over

and Hamzah has received a letter from home.

He's not had a proper conversation with his parents for several months.

Your father sent you a letter.

I want you to read it and, if you want to talk to me thereafter,

-we'll talk about it. OK?

-Yeah.

"Since I dropped you off at the airport, I looked back

"and I wanted to run after you and tell you how much I love you.

"From day one, I always loved you.

"No matter what, you are still our little baby, Hamzah.

"When you come back, we all will sit as a family.

"We will support you in your studying.

"We really appreciate you for who you are

"every day that has passed by."

I never thought my dad would actually send me this, to be honest.

I'm kind of shocked in a way, but happy as well.

If you behave at home like you've behaved this week,

he will be the proudest dad that you can imagine.

-Definitely, yeah.

-I think you and your dad and your family must learn

to trust one another, although you come from different places.

You know, they're traditional, so don't reject them because of that.

You are a young British boy, they must not reject you because of that.

You must both trust one another and you see why you can trust him.

Why do you think you can trust him?

Because of what he's said to me in this letter.

-He loves you.

-He does.

-Exactly.

Do you know hide and seek?

Charlie has returned to the Masizame Children's Centre for a final visit.

One, two, three...

Many of the orphaned children at the shelter

have been traumatised by their experiences.

Coming ready or not.

I found you straightaway.

Aw, you're a sweetie, aren't you?

The staff get the children to draw a family tree,

a simple device to bring out issues that are troubling them

if they can't or don't want to talk openly

That's my dad. I can't remember how old my parents are.

That's so bad.

That's me. I'm 17.

How do you get on?

-Like him.

-Yeah, I'm like him.

What sort of qualities would you say you are like him?

We're both quite clever and stuff, I think,

and we just didn't do as well as we could at school.

We were both a bit lazy and messed about.

So you're saying you're clever, but you're lazy.

He does try very hard, my dad does try very hard, I mean, he's got MS.

Write MS there...

..because that is a challenge.

It makes you realise who you're connecting with and who you're not

and maybe where you're going wrong with people.

Unknown to Charlie's family,

her dad's illness has had an enormous impact on her life as well.

Obviously, I was really upset about it when I found out he had it,

but I was only ten at the time, so...

I just, you know, used to just, kind of, like,

brush it off and pretend it wasn't happening.

I don't talk to him about it at all. Never.

I don't know, it'd be too difficult.

Of course, I worry about him every day.

He doesn't know that, but I do.

Yeah, my dad is important to me, I just don't want to upset him.

I just don't tell him I worry, I do worry, though.

Since day one, Anna-Marie and Suzanne have taught the teens

that honesty is key to a healthy family life.

Why do you want to write a letter to your dad particularly?

-Because I think I should be honest with him.

-Yeah.

I'm not a particularly honest person sometimes.

I do tend to hide my feelings.

I think he thinks that I've grown up

and just not given a shit about his illness

and, you know, his symptoms and I just don't care,

but it's time to be honest with him, and just let him know.

-I think he'd like to hear that as well.

-I'm sure he would.

-OK.

I think it's going to mean a great deal to her father

because she can appear to be really disaffected

um, and...

Yeah, for him to know that she really cares is very significant.

The teens' time living as members of Suzanne and Anna-Marie's family

has come to an end.

I've seen some things,

I've done things I would never have done in the UK,

which has made me realise what I take for granted back at home.

This experience in South Africa is once in a lifetime,

it makes me see the other side of life and what life is really about.

You have your ups and downs, but you need your family.

Without your family, you're nothing.

-Take care, yeah.

-You too, mate.

Bye bye, sweetheart, you look after yourself. And I love you.

I want to say thank you so much for giving us the opportunity

and you're lovely parents and I have a lot of love for you.

You did this thing.

You were brave enough, you were smart enough, you survived.

Charlie's letter was sent on ahead of her.

It's a shame she hadn't really spoken to us about it before

and, kind of, kept it under wraps and it obviously hasn't been

very good for her, so I'm glad it's out in the open now.

I know someone who'll be pleased to see you.

God, it's been ten days.

Hello, sweetie, how are you? All right?

Yeah, I've had a great time.

-Look who's here!

-Hello!

I take it you got my note?

I did get your note.

It just worries me sometimes, Dad.

It's not like I can pretend that it's not happening.

It might be helpful for you to read some of the notes

from the neurologist

because you're grown up now and that will give you some insight,

what might happen or what might not happen, we don't know.

But you know what, I live for the present,

I look constructively and positively to the future

and that's what keeps me on my feet and out of a wheelchair.

So don't be too concerned.

-Follow me.

-In the spirit of starting afresh,

Dad's not taking any chances with the family's stash of alcohol.

A padlock! SHE LAUGHS

Here's the key, which is in here.

Do not try and take away.

We have missed Hamzah a lot. Very much.

I just want to know whether he's changed or not really.

I hope he's made the most out of it.

Hello, Dad, how are you? You good?

-So did you have a good time?

-Yeah, I sorted myself out now.

I know I was a bit on the wrong track, Dad.

I admit that, and I just want to say sorry.

The plan for my future now is to get back to college,

finish my qualification, it's going to be hard at first,

but I'm determined to push myself to that limit

and I will be able to do it definitely, 100%.

I just want to apologise for the stuff I did.

What you crying for, Mum?

Bloody hell, it's not the end of the world.

I love you so much.

Next time on The World's Strictest Parents...

Will you stop swearing? What's wrong with you?

..image-crazy Shola Bruce-Coker...

..and binge-drinking dropout Joey Birch...

-The party doesn't start until I get there.

-..get new parents in India.

Move out, move out, just get out.

Get off me, please get off me.

They're letting my parents down.

I called security. That's never happened before.

I'm calling time out, you know what I mean.

I hate it.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd