Home on the Range

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COWBOY, WHISTLING: Hyah!	0:00:08	0:00:09
# Out in the land where the men are tough as cactus	0:00:09	0:00:12
# Out in the land where the Wild, Wild West was won	0:00:12	0:00:16
# Out in the land of the desperado	0:00:16	0:00:18
# If you're soft as an avocado	0:00:18	0:00:20
# Yee-haw! You're guacamole, son	0:00:20	0:00:22
# Oh, home, this ain't it, pal	0:00:22	0:00:24
# Home, home, home on the range	0:00:24	0:00:26
# Home, home, better go git, pal	0:00:26	0:00:28
# You ain't home on the range	0:00:28	0:00:30
# Out in the land where the weak are target practice	0:00:30	0:00:33
# Out in the land where they shoot the mild and meek	0:00:33	0:00:37
# Out where the bad are a whole lot badder	0:00:37	0:00:39
# If you're the type with a nervous bladder	0:00:39	0:00:41
# Yip! Yow! Your saddle's gonna reek	0:00:41	0:00:44
# Cos you ain't home on the range	0:00:44	0:00:47
# Cowboy, you're really up a creek	0:00:47	0:00:49
# Home, home, home on the range	0:00:49	0:00:51
# Home, home, home on the range	0:00:51	0:00:53
# Home, home, home on the range... #	0:00:53	0:00:55
COWBOY: Howdy, Sheriff!	0:00:55	0:00:57
HORSE SNORTS	0:00:57	0:00:58
HORSE SNORTS	0:01:02	0:01:04
MAGGIE: Home on the range.	0:01:05	0:01:07
Once upon a time, I had a home on the range.	0:01:07	0:01:11
But not any more.	0:01:11	0:01:14
Well, it's no use cryin' over spilled milk.	0:01:14	0:01:18
Speakin' of which, that's me.	0:01:18	0:01:20
I'm the cow.	0:01:20	0:01:21
FLY BUZZES	0:01:21	0:01:23
Yeah, they're real.	0:01:23	0:01:24
Quit staring.	0:01:24	0:01:26
I'm sort of between homes right now.	0:01:26	0:01:28
I lost my old place	0:01:28	0:01:30
thanks to the meanest bunch of cattle rustlers in the West -	0:01:30	0:01:34
Alameda Slim and the Willie Brothers gang.	0:01:34	0:01:37
COWBOY YODELS	0:01:37	0:01:40
MAGGIE: Somehow, they stole the whole herd	0:01:43	0:01:46
right out from under our noses, and then they disappeared	0:01:46	0:01:49
without a trace.	0:01:49	0:01:51
HE PANTS	0:01:51	0:01:53
SHE MOOS	0:01:53	0:01:55
MAGGIE: After that,	0:01:55	0:01:57
poor old Abner couldn't afford to keep the place...	0:01:57	0:02:00
or me, either, for that matter.	0:02:00	0:02:03
Well, no matter how bad things get,	0:02:07	0:02:09
there's probably somebody worse off.	0:02:09	0:02:12
WHIMPERS	0:02:13	0:02:15
That guy, for instance.	0:02:15	0:02:17
-ABNER: -Hey, Maggie.	0:02:17	0:02:18
Take a look at your new home.	0:02:18	0:02:20
MAGGIE: Hey! A dairy farm?	0:02:20	0:02:23
Now we're talkin'!	0:02:23	0:02:26
Hope it's not one of them fat-free places.	0:02:26	0:02:28
UPBEAT MUSIC	0:02:28	0:02:31
# I know a place	0:02:31	0:02:33
# Pretty as pie	0:02:33	0:02:35
# Out where the river bend	0:02:35	0:02:37
# Hits up with the end of the sky	0:02:37	0:02:40
# It's left of Nebraska	0:02:40	0:02:42
# And over a crest	0:02:42	0:02:45
# On a little patch of heaven way out west	0:02:45	0:02:48
# Everything's green	0:02:48	0:02:51
# Know what I mean?	0:02:51	0:02:53
# Darlin', it's quite the sweetest sight	0:02:53	0:02:55
# That you ever done seen	0:02:55	0:02:57
# Ain't nothin' much out there	0:02:57	0:03:00
# Just life at its best	0:03:00	0:03:02
# On a little patch of heaven way out west	0:03:02	0:03:07
# Bees by the dozen	0:03:07	0:03:09
# Are buzzin' real peaceful	0:03:09	0:03:12
# Every bluebonnet, doggone it, smells nice	0:03:12	0:03:15
SNEEZES	0:03:15	0:03:16
# Even the tumblin' tumbleweed	0:03:16	0:03:18
# Slows down to match your speed	0:03:18	0:03:20
# On my tiny half an acre of paradise	0:03:20	0:03:23
# Darlin', I swear	0:03:23	0:03:26
# Once you been there	0:03:26	0:03:28
# There ain't a view beneath the blue	0:03:28	0:03:30
# That could ever compare	0:03:30	0:03:33
# The only thing missing	0:03:33	0:03:35
# Is you as my guest	0:03:35	0:03:38
# On a little patch of heaven way out west	0:03:38	0:03:42
# Why don't you come visit?	0:03:42	0:03:44
# There's room in the nest	0:03:44	0:03:49
# On that little patch of heaven	0:03:49	0:03:51
# Way out we-e-e-e...	0:03:51	0:03:55
HE SNORES	0:03:55	0:03:57
# ...e-e-e-est. #	0:03:57	0:04:00
CHICK CROWS	0:04:00	0:04:01
Wah! Aaah!	0:04:01	0:04:02
Ooh! Uhh!	0:04:02	0:04:04
Oh! Uhh!	0:04:04	0:04:05
Hey, that's my boy.	0:04:06	0:04:08
-PIGGIES: -Can hog! Can hog!	0:04:08	0:04:09
GOAT: Don't yell at me.	0:04:09	0:04:11
Oh. The call of duty.	0:04:11	0:04:13
Why don't you handle this one, Grace?	0:04:13	0:04:15
It's time I gave you more responsibility on the farm.	0:04:15	0:04:18
Really?	0:04:19	0:04:20
Thanks, Mrs C. I'll make you proud.	0:04:20	0:04:23
-Can hog! Can hog! -Get off my case, cocktail wieners!	0:04:23	0:04:25
-GRACE: -Whoa, whoa!	0:04:25	0:04:26
I'm sensing a lot of negative energy here.	0:04:26	0:04:29
That's our can, and Jeb took it.	0:04:29	0:04:31
And now he says it's HIS can.	0:04:31	0:04:34
Now, let's not play the shame and blame game.	0:04:34	0:04:36
This is an organic problem,	0:04:36	0:04:38
and there's a holistic solution.	0:04:38	0:04:41
You don't get this whole farm concept,	0:04:41	0:04:44
do you, sister?	0:04:44	0:04:46
Kill the goat!	0:04:46	0:04:47
THEY ALL SHOUT	0:04:47	0:04:50
-Give it! -Get the can!	0:04:50	0:04:53
Ahem.	0:04:53	0:04:54
We're sorry, Mrs Caloway.	0:04:54	0:04:57
Piggies, why can't you leave Jeb alone?	0:04:57	0:05:00
Yeah! Why can't you?	0:05:00	0:05:01
The poor old goat needs peace and quiet.	0:05:01	0:05:03
That's right! I need it!	0:05:03	0:05:05
So, run along, and take your can with you.	0:05:05	0:05:07
Yeah, take that can and... Hey! Come back, you little bacon bits!	0:05:07	0:05:11
Jeb, don't you have enough cans of your own?	0:05:11	0:05:14
Uh, no, not really.	0:05:14	0:05:17
I'd be happy to take her in, Abner.	0:05:17	0:05:20
There's always room for one more.	0:05:20	0:05:22
Well, thanks, Pearl.	0:05:22	0:05:24
I gotta warn you, though.	0:05:24	0:05:25
She's, heh-heh, she's a bit headstrong.	0:05:25	0:05:28
Oh, now, don't you worry, Abner.	0:05:28	0:05:30
I'm sure she'll fit right in.	0:05:30	0:05:32
So long, Pearl. You take care, now.	0:05:32	0:05:35
Mrs Caloway!	0:05:35	0:05:36
Oh! Mrs Caloway! Mrs Calo...	0:05:36	0:05:38
Mrs Caloway,	0:05:38	0:05:40
there's a newcomer at the gate!	0:05:40	0:05:43
-Not now, Audrey. -But it's a great big...	0:05:43	0:05:45
Everybody? This here is Maggie.	0:05:45	0:05:48
TYRES SCREECH	0:05:48	0:05:49
ROCK MUSIC PLAYS	0:05:49	0:05:50
-PEARL: -Three-time winner of the Golden Udder award	0:05:53	0:05:56
and the original Miss Happy Heifer.	0:05:56	0:05:59
A show cow?	0:05:59	0:06:01
On Patch of Heaven?	0:06:01	0:06:03
HE GASPS	0:06:04	0:06:05
-PEARL: -Now, I want y'all to make her feel right at home.	0:06:16	0:06:18
You hear me?	0:06:18	0:06:20
Hey, thanks, everybody.	0:06:20	0:06:22
It's great to be here in Patch of Heaven.	0:06:22	0:06:25
Now, don't everybody speak at one time.	0:06:25	0:06:27
What is this, the frozen food section?	0:06:27	0:06:30
ECHOING: Is this thing on?	0:06:31	0:06:33
Ahem. Good morning,	0:06:34	0:06:35
uh, Margaret.	0:06:35	0:06:37
What a wonderful surprise	0:06:37	0:06:38
to find a fellow bovine joining the ranks.	0:06:38	0:06:40
HE COUGHS Phony.	0:06:40	0:06:42
Ooh!	0:06:42	0:06:43
I'm Mrs Caloway.	0:06:43	0:06:44
-Hi. -And this is Grace.	0:06:44	0:06:46
Hi.	0:06:46	0:06:47
No applause and trophies here, I'm afraid.	0:06:47	0:06:50
Just the fruits of our good, honest labour.	0:06:50	0:06:53
Hi.	0:06:53	0:06:54
Workin' stiffs, huh?	0:06:54	0:06:56
Boy, I remember those days.	0:06:56	0:06:58
Wow! You're the biggest cow I have ever saw.	0:06:58	0:07:02
Well, if you're in charge, I'll take that as a compliment.	0:07:02	0:07:05
-Uh... -And if you're not, I'll just have to sit on you.	0:07:05	0:07:07
Mom!	0:07:07	0:07:09
Hey, I'm only kidding!	0:07:09	0:07:11
Say, what is this you've got jammed up in your ear?	0:07:11	0:07:15
Whoa!	0:07:15	0:07:16
Here, have an apple, kid.	0:07:16	0:07:18
Don't go near any luaus, though.	0:07:18	0:07:20
Wait a minute.	0:07:20	0:07:22
I got somethin' stuck in my ear.	0:07:22	0:07:24
This one's for me.	0:07:26	0:07:28
SHE BELCHES	0:07:28	0:07:29
Ahh! That was good.	0:07:29	0:07:31
ALL: Awesome!	0:07:31	0:07:32
Do it again! Do it again!	0:07:32	0:07:34
Come on! Do it again! Do it again!	0:07:34	0:07:37
-DILLON: -Oh! That's so cool!	0:07:37	0:07:40
Maggie's some fun, isn't she?	0:07:40	0:07:42
Ohh...teaching pigs to throw food.	0:07:42	0:07:44
As if they weren't sloppy enough.	0:07:44	0:07:46
I'm goin' long!	0:07:46	0:07:49
HE CHUCKLES	0:07:51	0:07:53
Ohh!	0:07:53	0:07:54
SHE BELCHES	0:07:54	0:07:55
THEY ALL BELCH	0:07:55	0:07:57
Whoa! Whoa!	0:08:03	0:08:05
Dagnabit, Buck, slow down!	0:08:05	0:08:08
MAGGIE: OK, who's up for a game of tin-can tag?	0:08:08	0:08:11
That can is a family heirloom.	0:08:11	0:08:13
Whoever wins is gettin' a free tetanus shot!	0:08:13	0:08:15
OK?	0:08:15	0:08:17
-BUCK: -Superstar comin' through!	0:08:17	0:08:18
-ALL: -Awesome!	0:08:19	0:08:20
No autographs, please.	0:08:20	0:08:22
I got your autograph, pal!	0:08:22	0:08:23
Ow!	0:08:23	0:08:24
Who's the hotshot?	0:08:24	0:08:25
Oh, it's Buck.	0:08:25	0:08:27
Puh! City slicker.	0:08:27	0:08:28
-SHERIFF: -Oh! Whoa!	0:08:28	0:08:30
Whoa! Dagnabit, Buck!	0:08:30	0:08:32
Take it easy. This ain't no rodeo.	0:08:32	0:08:34
Why, good morning, Sam.	0:08:34	0:08:36
Heh-heh. Is that ornery horse gettin' away from you again?	0:08:36	0:08:39
Oh, uh...howdy, Pearl.	0:08:39	0:08:41
I came out to bring you another bank notice.	0:08:41	0:08:44
This one'll be the last.	0:08:44	0:08:46
Every time I get a weak harvest, they send me one of these notices.	0:08:46	0:08:49
They'll get their money soon enough.	0:08:49	0:08:51
It's a whole new shootin' match now, Pearl.	0:08:51	0:08:54
The bank's callin' in everybody's debt.	0:08:54	0:08:56
They're losin' money somethin' fierce with all the cattlemen goin' under.	0:08:56	0:09:00
If they don't get their money in three days,	0:09:00	0:09:03
-they're gonna auction off Patch of Heaven. -What?	0:09:03	0:09:06
Oh! No.	0:09:06	0:09:08
But...they can't take my place.	0:09:08	0:09:10
Why, I've been here through twisters, blizzards.	0:09:10	0:09:13
Sam, uh...	0:09:13	0:09:15
Sam, this is my home.	0:09:15	0:09:18
I'm sorry, Pearl.	0:09:19	0:09:22
I'm truly sorry.	0:09:22	0:09:23
Yeah, well...	0:09:23	0:09:26
"sorry" just ain't gonna save my farm.	0:09:26	0:09:30
Well, Buck, I hope you're proud of yourself.	0:09:33	0:09:36
As a matter of fact, I am. Thank you for checking.	0:09:36	0:09:39
You know, Pearl,	0:09:42	0:09:44
it don't have to be this way.	0:09:44	0:09:46
You've got the best livestock in the county.	0:09:46	0:09:49
All you gotta do is just sell off a few of these critters...	0:09:49	0:09:52
Stop right there, Sam.	0:09:52	0:09:54
They're family.	0:09:54	0:09:55
You don't sell family.	0:09:55	0:09:57
Hold your horses, Pearl.	0:09:57	0:09:58
Now you get, before I start using words	0:09:58	0:10:00
no good woman should ever use.	0:10:00	0:10:02
-Don't bust your gusset, woman! -Go on, Sam!	0:10:02	0:10:05
It is still my property! Now get!	0:10:05	0:10:08
I said, get!	0:10:08	0:10:09
I was just tryin' to help!	0:10:09	0:10:12
Oh. Oh.	0:10:18	0:10:20
That sure took the starch right out of me.	0:10:20	0:10:24
SHE SIGHS	0:10:30	0:10:32
I am sorry, girls.	0:10:33	0:10:35
I'm just plum out of ideas.	0:10:35	0:10:39
Well, I think we all know what happens now.	0:10:49	0:10:52
-Uh, Jeb, don't start. -Now we all get eaten.	0:10:52	0:10:55
-Jeb? -What? What?	0:10:55	0:10:56
You don't think people in town eat animals?	0:10:56	0:10:58
But who would eat a chicken? Heh-heh.	0:10:58	0:11:01
Come on, guys. There must be something we can do.	0:11:01	0:11:04
What? What could we do?	0:11:04	0:11:06
Ohh...this just isn't fair.	0:11:06	0:11:09
Fair!	0:11:09	0:11:11
Good call, Curly!	0:11:11	0:11:13
-Ollie. -Ollie.	0:11:13	0:11:14
Uh, what is?	0:11:14	0:11:16
Listen. What would you say if I told you	0:11:16	0:11:18
that you could win big money,	0:11:18	0:11:21
and see beautiful downtown Chugwater,	0:11:21	0:11:24
if you went to the County Fair?	0:11:24	0:11:26
THEY ALL COO	0:11:26	0:11:27
Thank you for your input, but...	0:11:27	0:11:29
Come on! Let the new cow talk!	0:11:29	0:11:31
-ALL: -New cow! New cow! New cow!	0:11:31	0:11:34
Come on, Mrs C.	0:11:34	0:11:35
You've got a real good-lookin' bunch here.	0:11:35	0:11:38
I see some real potential.	0:11:38	0:11:39
Aw, shucks.	0:11:39	0:11:41
Now, the fair is two weeks away.	0:11:41	0:11:43
I say we go to town, butter up that sheriff's horse,	0:11:43	0:11:46
and get him to give us more time.	0:11:46	0:11:48
-What are we waitin' for, Maggie? Let's go. -That's right.	0:11:48	0:11:51
What do you say, Caloway?	0:11:51	0:11:52
Bah! Absolutely not.	0:11:52	0:11:55
I will not abandon Pearl in her hour of need	0:11:55	0:11:57
for such a ridiculous plan.	0:11:57	0:11:59
She would be devastated if she found us missing.	0:11:59	0:12:02
As far as I'm concerned, it's not an option.	0:12:02	0:12:04
All right. Suit yourself.	0:12:04	0:12:07
Come on, Grace.	0:12:07	0:12:08
We've got a farm to save.	0:12:08	0:12:10
Oh, you'll have to excuse her. She's just a little tense.	0:12:13	0:12:16
Tense. What's her specialty,	0:12:16	0:12:18
sour cream?	0:12:18	0:12:20
Pff! Going to town.	0:12:21	0:12:23
Of all the ill-conceived id...	0:12:23	0:12:26
CHICKS TWEET	0:12:26	0:12:27
Now, don't look at me so crossly. I know what you're going to say...	0:12:29	0:12:33
that Maggie and Grace will need someone	0:12:33	0:12:36
with my eye for detail to keep them on the straight and narrow.	0:12:36	0:12:41
Say no more.	0:12:41	0:12:42
I'll go.	0:12:42	0:12:43
Now, tut tut.	0:12:43	0:12:44
No mushy goodbyes, my little ones.	0:12:44	0:12:46
You know how I get about overly emotional displays.	0:12:46	0:12:50
Ahem. Ladies?	0:12:50	0:12:52
-GRACE: -Mrs C.	0:12:53	0:12:54
BRITISH ACCENT: Well, what made you change your mind?	0:12:54	0:12:58
I'd rather not talk about it.	0:12:58	0:13:00
It's a chick thing.	0:13:00	0:13:01
-AUDREY: -Good luck, girls!	0:13:04	0:13:05
-See ya! -Bye!	0:13:05	0:13:07
JEB: They're stew meat.	0:13:07	0:13:09
Hurry back!	0:13:09	0:13:11
SQUAWKING	0:13:15	0:13:17
-OFF-KEY: -# She'll be comin' 'round the mountain	0:13:23	0:13:26
# She'll be comin' 'round the mountain	0:13:26	0:13:28
# She'll be comin' 'round... #	0:13:28	0:13:30
She better hurry up around that mountain cos I cannot take this much longer.	0:13:30	0:13:33
Maggie, may I be frank?	0:13:33	0:13:35
Only if you let me wear the hat.	0:13:35	0:13:38
Ahem. Lowbrow remarks may work for you,	0:13:38	0:13:42
but we prefer the gentle approach.	0:13:42	0:13:45
Well, she better stick a sock in it soon.	0:13:45	0:13:47
The vultures are starting to circle.	0:13:47	0:13:50
SHE GASPS	0:13:50	0:13:52
Hey, she's not dying!	0:13:52	0:13:54
You sure? We could wait around!	0:13:54	0:13:57
# ..No, nothing, when she sees Grandma	0:13:57	0:13:59
# No more food for her... #	0:13:59	0:14:01
We'll keep you posted!	0:14:01	0:14:03
False alarm, Clem!	0:14:03	0:14:05
CLEM: Roger, out like the wind!	0:14:05	0:14:06
Hey, Maggie, Mrs C? How do we find the sheriff's office when we get into town?	0:14:06	0:14:11
Elementary, my dear Grace.	0:14:11	0:14:12
If we find Buck, we find the sheriff.	0:14:12	0:14:14
That horse is a legend in his own mind.	0:14:14	0:14:17
MAGGIE LAUGHS	0:14:17	0:14:20
MOODY WESTERN MUSIC	0:14:21	0:14:24
So, you think you got the drop on me?	0:14:34	0:14:36
Well, think again.	0:14:36	0:14:37
BUCK MAKES CHOP-SOCKY NOISES	0:14:37	0:14:40
HE BELLOWS	0:14:44	0:14:46
Hmm.	0:14:46	0:14:48
Whoo!	0:14:48	0:14:49
Aah!	0:14:51	0:14:52
Hay! Jump back! Kiss myself!	0:14:55	0:14:58
-VOICE: -Buck. Earth to Buck?	0:14:59	0:15:01
Buck!	0:15:01	0:15:02
-HE WHISTLES -It's your move.	0:15:02	0:15:05
HE GASPS	0:15:08	0:15:09
HE SNORES	0:15:09	0:15:11
Ohh...great.	0:15:11	0:15:13
HE SNORTS	0:15:13	0:15:14
You were sleep-fighting again. Almost threw a shoe.	0:15:14	0:15:17
Ohh. Sorry. Heh.	0:15:17	0:15:19
It just...it seems like all the other horses	0:15:19	0:15:22
are out there fighting bad guys and takin' names!	0:15:22	0:15:24
CHOP-SOCKY SCREAM	0:15:24	0:15:26
Uhh! Who put this here?	0:15:26	0:15:28
Oh, Buck, this ain't no Dodge City,	0:15:28	0:15:31
but we get our share of excitement.	0:15:31	0:15:33
MAN: Hey, Sheriff!	0:15:33	0:15:34
Been waitin' a long time to give you this!	0:15:34	0:15:37
Telegram!	0:15:37	0:15:38
Oh, howdy, Morse. What you got there?	0:15:38	0:15:41
Hmm. "Got Evil-Eye Joe. Stop.	0:15:41	0:15:44
"Bringing him today. Stop.	0:15:44	0:15:46
"Have money ready. Signed, Rico."	0:15:46	0:15:49
BUCK GASPS	0:15:49	0:15:50
Ha! Oh, yeah!	0:15:50	0:15:51
Rico caught another one already.	0:15:51	0:15:54
Might as well give him the key to my safe.	0:15:54	0:15:56
You hear that, Rusty? Rico's comin'.	0:15:56	0:15:58
Yeah, Rico. I'm old. I ain't deaf.	0:15:58	0:16:01
Boy, wouldn't that be the life?	0:16:01	0:16:02
Ridin' with Rico, cleanin' up the West.	0:16:02	0:16:04
Kickin' bad-guy behind! Whoo! Wah-yah! Watch out, sucker!	0:16:04	0:16:08
KUNG-FU SHOUTS	0:16:08	0:16:10
All right, girls. We're goin' in.	0:16:16	0:16:19
-SHE GASPS -Look!	0:16:19	0:16:21
There's no fences.	0:16:21	0:16:23
What keeps the people from roaming?	0:16:23	0:16:25
They appear to be domesticated.	0:16:25	0:16:26
It doesn't feel dangerous at all.	0:16:26	0:16:29
It's perfectly safe.	0:16:29	0:16:30
Quiet as a farm at milkin' time.	0:16:30	0:16:32
-BOOM -What was that? -It's a gunfight!	0:16:32	0:16:35
THEY ALL MOO	0:16:35	0:16:37
POPPING	0:16:37	0:16:38
THUNKING	0:16:38	0:16:39
CRASHING	0:16:39	0:16:40
Aah! Hit the dirt!	0:16:40	0:16:42
Who lives like this?	0:16:42	0:16:43
-What do we do? -Look, a star on that door!	0:16:43	0:16:46
Must be the sheriff's office.	0:16:46	0:16:48
Move, ladies! Move!	0:16:48	0:16:50
# Swivel your hips, ooh! Give 'em a grind	0:16:50	0:16:53
# Shimmy and shake and leave your troubles be... #	0:16:53	0:16:56
THEY ALL SCREAM	0:16:56	0:16:59
THEY LAUGH	0:16:59	0:17:01
Whoa! Get those cows off the stage!	0:17:01	0:17:04
THEY GROWL	0:17:04	0:17:05
Maybe we came at a bad time.	0:17:05	0:17:07
-ALL: -Charge!	0:17:07	0:17:09
MAGGIE MOOS	0:17:10	0:17:11
MRS CALOWAY SHRIEKS	0:17:11	0:17:13
THEY LAUGH	0:17:14	0:17:15
How dare you?!	0:17:15	0:17:17
Oh!	0:17:17	0:17:19
Whoa-oh-oh!	0:17:19	0:17:21
SHE SCREAMS	0:17:21	0:17:23
-Daddy? -Son!	0:17:24	0:17:26
Ptoo!	0:17:26	0:17:28
I say! Aah!	0:17:32	0:17:34
Aah! Oh! Ow! What did I do?	0:17:34	0:17:37
THEY ALL SHOUT	0:17:37	0:17:39
-WOMAN: -That does it!	0:17:41	0:17:42
Hoof it on out of here, ladies! Go on!	0:17:42	0:17:46
Oh, come back!	0:17:46	0:17:47
That was the best dang show we ever had!	0:17:47	0:17:49
Aw, you've been on the trail too long, you old coot.	0:17:49	0:17:52
Ohh. What kind of Sheriff's office is that?	0:17:52	0:17:55
Dancing girls, gambling... How does he ever get any work done?	0:17:55	0:17:58
If that's the sheriff's office,	0:17:58	0:18:00
this town rocks.	0:18:00	0:18:03
MAGGIE LAUGHS	0:18:03	0:18:05
Well, if it isn't three maids a-milkin'.	0:18:05	0:18:07
You girls a little far from home, aren't ya?	0:18:07	0:18:11
Well, if it isn't the Phony Express.	0:18:11	0:18:13
We want a word with you about this.	0:18:13	0:18:16
-What's that? -What is that?	0:18:17	0:18:19
I believe you left this on our farm.	0:18:19	0:18:22
Wai... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.	0:18:22	0:18:24
The place went bankrupt. Your farm is history.	0:18:24	0:18:28
Don't you heifers get it?	0:18:28	0:18:30
Hold on, you two!	0:18:30	0:18:32
Two more weeks and we'll have at least 60 bucks in prize money to...	0:18:32	0:18:35
Ah-ah-ah. You got three days to pay or get on your way.	0:18:35	0:18:38
And 60 bucks don't cut it.	0:18:38	0:18:40
-Looks like you need about... -HE SNIFFS	0:18:40	0:18:42
Hmm, I'd say...	0:18:42	0:18:45
Seven hundred and fifty of 'em.	0:18:45	0:18:47
But, Maggie, where are we gonna get all that money?	0:18:47	0:18:50
Well, maybe Maggie can just pull it out of her ear.	0:18:50	0:18:53
Hey, watch it, Caloway.	0:18:53	0:18:54
RUMBLE OF THUNDER	0:18:54	0:18:57
THEY GULP	0:18:59	0:19:00
-Rico. -Rico.	0:19:01	0:19:03
FLIES BUZZ	0:19:03	0:19:04
-BOTH: -Rico.	0:19:04	0:19:05
WIND HOWLS	0:19:05	0:19:08
HE COUGHS	0:19:10	0:19:13
HORSE SNORTS	0:19:21	0:19:22
Who is that?	0:19:22	0:19:24
FLY BUZZES	0:19:24	0:19:25
-Shh. -Sorry.	0:19:25	0:19:28
Don't you know a hero when you see one, huh?!	0:19:31	0:19:34
That's Rico,	0:19:34	0:19:35
the best dang bounty hunter this side of the Pecos.	0:19:35	0:19:39
I could guess from here to tomorrow,	0:19:39	0:19:41
but I don't know how you do it, Rico.	0:19:41	0:19:43
Where's my money?	0:19:43	0:19:45
Well, all right, I got it right here for you.	0:19:45	0:19:49
Hey, they're giving away free money!	0:19:49	0:19:51
Oh! Maggie!	0:19:51	0:19:52
So, who else is out there?	0:19:52	0:19:54
The only varmint left	0:19:54	0:19:55
is that low-down, good-for-nothin' Alameda Slim.	0:19:55	0:19:58
Cattle rustler.	0:19:58	0:20:00
What's the bounty?	0:20:00	0:20:01
750.	0:20:01	0:20:03
I got it!	0:20:04	0:20:06
Why don't we go nab that Alameda Slim	0:20:06	0:20:09
and use the reward money to save the farm?	0:20:09	0:20:11
Oh, that is a sensible idea.	0:20:11	0:20:14
I knew you'd love it!	0:20:14	0:20:16
Tch. Don't they have sarcasm where you come from?	0:20:16	0:20:19
Oh, wake up and smell the alfalfa! It's perfect!	0:20:19	0:20:22
I'm gonna need a fresh horse.	0:20:22	0:20:25
Hmm, a horse. A horse.	0:20:25	0:20:29
Let me think.	0:20:29	0:20:30
I reckon you'd want a fast horse, huh? Real fast?	0:20:30	0:20:33
Course, he'd also have to be able to go	0:20:33	0:20:36
for days without food or drink...	0:20:36	0:20:39
stealthy, sure-footed in any terrain...	0:20:39	0:20:43
well, huh...	0:20:43	0:20:44
-BUCK: -Look at me!	0:20:44	0:20:45
What about that horse?	0:20:45	0:20:47
What, you mean Buck here?	0:20:47	0:20:50
-Eee! -Boy, I don't know.	0:20:50	0:20:51
Buck's fast, all right,	0:20:51	0:20:53
but he's kind of a handful.	0:20:53	0:20:55
He'll do.	0:20:55	0:20:56
Well, suit yourself.	0:20:56	0:20:58
-HE SQUEALS WITH DELIGHT -Hey, Rusty!	0:20:58	0:21:00
Rico's saddle! I'm wearing Rico's saddle!	0:21:00	0:21:03
I'm wearing Rico's saddle!	0:21:03	0:21:05
Great. I'll leave you two alone.	0:21:05	0:21:07
Ohh, oh, no. No, no, no.	0:21:07	0:21:09
There is no way in heaven or earth	0:21:09	0:21:11
that cows can catch an outlaw.	0:21:11	0:21:12
Look, all we've got to do	0:21:12	0:21:14
is follow this chuck wagon to a cattle drive.	0:21:14	0:21:17
Ahh. And then, you see,	0:21:17	0:21:20
we let the bad guys come to us.	0:21:20	0:21:22
Oh! We've no reason to believe this chuck wagon	0:21:22	0:21:25
is heading off to a cattle drive.	0:21:25	0:21:27
Hey, Tommy! Have fun on that cattle drive!	0:21:27	0:21:30
All right, then. Mm-hmm.	0:21:30	0:21:32
I think it is headed toward a cattle drive.	0:21:32	0:21:35
Shh. We are not following this wagon	0:21:35	0:21:37
and that is final.	0:21:37	0:21:39
Come on, Caloway. It'll be fun!	0:21:39	0:21:42
Did you just hit me?	0:21:42	0:21:44
Kinda.	0:21:44	0:21:45
-Well, stop it. -Why?	0:21:45	0:21:47
Because I don't like it.	0:21:47	0:21:49
SPLAT	0:21:54	0:21:55
Oh, no. Not the hat.	0:21:59	0:22:01
What? What about the... Ugh!	0:22:01	0:22:03
Hmph.	0:22:05	0:22:07
MAGGIE MOOS	0:22:07	0:22:09
All right, all right,	0:22:09	0:22:10
violence is not going to solve anything.	0:22:10	0:22:12
Why don't we all take a deep cleansing breath...	0:22:12	0:22:15
Hey, now! Mud wrestling!	0:22:19	0:22:22
Ha ha! Hey, hey! Watch the saddle!	0:22:22	0:22:24
MOOING	0:22:24	0:22:27
What in tarnation?	0:22:28	0:22:31
Maggie, for the last time,	0:22:31	0:22:32
I will not be roped into this scheme.	0:22:32	0:22:35
Come on, you crazy heifers!	0:22:35	0:22:38
Come on! Dagnabit!	0:22:38	0:22:40
Hey, partner, curb your livestock.	0:22:40	0:22:43
This town is clean!	0:22:43	0:22:45
HE SPEAKS MANDARIN	0:22:45	0:22:47
Giddy-up!	0:22:47	0:22:48
Not exactly what I had in mind, but this'll work.	0:22:49	0:22:52
Well, it doesn't work for me!	0:22:52	0:22:55
Adios, Buck. Take care of Rico now.	0:22:55	0:22:58
HE WHINNIES	0:22:58	0:23:00
Hasta la vista, heifers! Hoo-hoo!	0:23:00	0:23:03
-GRACE, OFF-KEY: -# Oh, give me a home	0:23:07	0:23:10
# Where the buffalo roam	0:23:10	0:23:13
# And the deer...ahem... and the antelope pla-a-ay	0:23:13	0:23:19
# Where seldom is heard	0:23:19	0:23:21
# A discouraging word	0:23:21	0:23:25
# And the skies are not cloudy all day	0:23:25	0:23:28
# Home, home on the range... #	0:23:32	0:23:34
-MAN: -Sold! -What was that?	0:23:34	0:23:36
MAGGIE: It's a farm auction, ladies.	0:23:36	0:23:39
-AUCTIONEER: -That's the last of the furniture.	0:23:39	0:23:42
The final item is this piece of real property,	0:23:42	0:23:44
known heretofore as the Dixon Farm.	0:23:44	0:23:47
Do I hear 425? 425! Do I hear 450? 450?	0:23:47	0:23:50
What's going to happen to the cow who lived there?	0:23:50	0:23:53
-She'll be OK. -How do you know?	0:23:53	0:23:56
You're lookin' at her.	0:23:56	0:23:57
This was your farm?	0:23:57	0:23:59
Mm-hm.	0:23:59	0:24:00
We had, like, a family, too, you know.	0:24:00	0:24:04
What happened?	0:24:04	0:24:05
Alameda Slim happened.	0:24:05	0:24:07
EVIL LAUGHTER ECHOES	0:24:07	0:24:09
LAUGHTER ECHOES	0:24:10	0:24:14
Sold to Mr Yancy O'Del!	0:24:14	0:24:17
Pleasure doing business with you.	0:24:17	0:24:19
THUD	0:24:24	0:24:25
COWBOY PLAYS HARMONICA	0:24:30	0:24:32
MAGGIE: Cattle drive. Told ya.	0:24:34	0:24:36
You both owe me a dollar.	0:24:36	0:24:37
Step lightly, girls. The male of the species can be extremely hostile.	0:24:37	0:24:41
Oh, come on, Caloway.	0:24:41	0:24:43
It's not like they haven't seen a cow before.	0:24:43	0:24:45
Mmm? Ohh...	0:24:45	0:24:47
Hey, Barry.	0:24:47	0:24:49
What? Huh?	0:24:49	0:24:51
Check it out.	0:24:51	0:24:52
Ooh, dairy cows!	0:24:52	0:24:55
ALL: Ooh!	0:24:55	0:24:56
Oh, hey, how's it going?	0:24:56	0:24:58
Oh, hello. Let me guess. You're a Taurus.	0:24:58	0:25:02
Look, just keep moving and avoid eye contact.	0:25:02	0:25:05
-Ahem. -Oh!	0:25:05	0:25:07
Pardon me, but what are three lovely ladies like you...	0:25:07	0:25:10
Doing on a drive like this?	0:25:10	0:25:13
Just ignore them, and perhaps they'll go away.	0:25:13	0:25:15
Oh, they seem like nice guys.	0:25:15	0:25:17
Maybe they can help us.	0:25:17	0:25:18
Why, sure we can help you.	0:25:18	0:25:20
Maybe we can help each other.	0:25:20	0:25:22
-Hmm? -Hmm?	0:25:22	0:25:24
Look, lover-bull,	0:25:24	0:25:26
we're here strictly on business.	0:25:26	0:25:28
Ooh, sounds pretty exciting.	0:25:28	0:25:30
What kind of business?	0:25:30	0:25:32
We're looking for a cattle rustler named Alameda Slim.	0:25:32	0:25:35
Grace! Shh!	0:25:35	0:25:36
Hey, it doesn't hurt to ask.	0:25:36	0:25:38
Slim? Oh, ho ho ho!	0:25:38	0:25:39
Why, Slim's just a scary bedtime story	0:25:39	0:25:42
to get little calves to behave.	0:25:42	0:25:44
-What was that? -It must be Slim and the Willies.	0:25:49	0:25:52
Slim and the Willies?	0:25:52	0:25:53
Don't worry, darlin'. I'll protect you.	0:25:53	0:25:56
You have exactly two seconds to remove your hoof	0:25:56	0:25:59
before I snap it off at the knee.	0:25:59	0:26:00
Oh, uh, sorry, ma'am. I thought you were the blonde.	0:26:00	0:26:03
Ooh!	0:26:03	0:26:05
Come on, girls. Time to lose these ropes.	0:26:08	0:26:10
-MAN: -Where you going?	0:26:10	0:26:11
Ho-yah! Hyah!	0:26:11	0:26:13
Maggie, I'm stuck.	0:26:13	0:26:14
-MRS CALOWAY: -Look out!	0:26:14	0:26:16
Hahh!	0:26:16	0:26:17
-It's payback time. Cover me! -With what?	0:26:23	0:26:27
-BOTH: -Howdy, Slim.	0:26:27	0:26:28
Quiet, you fools. We've got work to do.	0:26:28	0:26:31
Now listen up.	0:26:31	0:26:33
There are crooks in this here West,	0:26:33	0:26:35
who have claimed to be the best,	0:26:35	0:26:37
and they think they wrote the book on how to rustle.	0:26:37	0:26:40
Well, as good as they may be,	0:26:41	0:26:43
not a one's as good as me	0:26:43	0:26:44
and I barely have to move a single muscle.	0:26:44	0:26:48
They call me mean, boys,	0:26:48	0:26:50
depraved and nasty, too,	0:26:50	0:26:52
and they ain't seen, boys,	0:26:52	0:26:54
the cruellest thing I do.	0:26:54	0:26:56
MAGGIE MOOS	0:26:56	0:26:57
You see I...	0:26:57	0:26:59
# Yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odle	0:26:59	0:27:02
# The sweetest way of rustlin' yet devised	0:27:02	0:27:05
# Cos when I yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odle	0:27:05	0:27:09
# Why, looky, how them cows get hypnotised	0:27:09	0:27:13
# He don't prod, he don't yell	0:27:13	0:27:15
# Still he drives them dogies well	0:27:15	0:27:17
# Which ain't easy when your chaps are labelled	0:27:17	0:27:20
# XXXXL	0:27:20	0:27:21
# Yes, if yer lookin' from a bovine point of view	0:27:21	0:27:24
# I sure can yodel-adle-eedle-idle	0:27:24	0:27:27
# Yodel-adle-eedle-idle	0:27:27	0:27:29
# Yodel-adle-eedle-idle-oo. #	0:27:29	0:27:33
Here we go, boys!	0:27:33	0:27:35
5,000 cattle in the side pocket!	0:27:35	0:27:39
HE YODELS WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE	0:27:39	0:27:41
HE YODELS YANKEE DOODLE	0:27:46	0:27:48
HE YODELS BEETHOVEN'S ODE TO JOY	0:27:54	0:27:56
# Ooh... #	0:28:03	0:28:05
Maggie! Mrs Caloway! Snap out of it!	0:28:05	0:28:08
# A sound that cattle truly take to heart	0:28:08	0:28:12
# Yeah, I can yodel-adle-eedle-idle	0:28:12	0:28:13
# Yodel-adle-eedle-idel-odle	0:28:13	0:28:16
# And smack my big old rump if that ain't art	0:28:16	0:28:19
# He don't rope, not a chance	0:28:19	0:28:22
# He just puts 'em in a trance	0:28:22	0:28:24
# He's a pioneer Pied Piper in ten-gallon underpants	0:28:24	0:28:27
# Yep, I'm the real rip-roarin' deal	0:28:27	0:28:29
# To those who moo	0:28:29	0:28:31
# Thanks to my yodel-adle-eedle-idle	0:28:31	0:28:33
# Yodel-adle-eedle-idle	0:28:33	0:28:36
# I got cattle out the old wazoo, heh heh!	0:28:36	0:28:38
# Cos I can yodel-adle-eedle-idle-oo	0:28:38	0:28:43
# Yodel-adle-eedle-idle-oo. #	0:28:43	0:28:45
SLIM LAUGHS	0:28:45	0:28:46
COWS SCREAM	0:28:46	0:28:49
Whoa. Ho, boy.	0:28:50	0:28:51
Hmm...	0:28:57	0:28:59
HORSE NEIGHS	0:29:01	0:29:03
Rico, if you'd just been a second earlier,	0:29:03	0:29:05
you'd-a had that rustler dead to rights.	0:29:05	0:29:07
You boys see anything before I got here?	0:29:07	0:29:10
We sure did, Rico. We were just settin' down to supper,	0:29:10	0:29:13
when all of a sudden the lights went out...	0:29:13	0:29:17
All right, what part of "cover me" didn't we understand?	0:29:17	0:29:20
-You guys OK? -I don't know.	0:29:20	0:29:22
I feel like I was dreaming.	0:29:22	0:29:24
Yeah. Slim started singing,	0:29:24	0:29:26
and all of a sudden I lost track of everything.	0:29:26	0:29:29
Singing? That didn't sound like singing to me.	0:29:29	0:29:32
And, you know, I have perfect pitch.	0:29:32	0:29:33
Uh, yes. Grace, about your perfect pitch...	0:29:33	0:29:37
Not now, Maggie.	0:29:37	0:29:38
-All right, show's over! -Oh, no.	0:29:38	0:29:41
You're interfering with official police bidness!	0:29:41	0:29:43
Ha. Be right with you, big guy.	0:29:43	0:29:46
Buck is on the case.	0:29:46	0:29:47
You know. Whoo!	0:29:47	0:29:49
Don't embarrass me in front of my partner. Please!	0:29:49	0:29:53
You and he are partners?	0:29:53	0:29:55
SHE STIFLES A LAUGH	0:29:55	0:29:57
How does that work exactly?	0:29:57	0:29:59
Do you get to ride him on odd days or even?	0:29:59	0:30:01
Hey! He chose me specifically	0:30:01	0:30:03
because I have skills that are essential to capturing our quarry.	0:30:03	0:30:07
CHOP-SOCKY SHOUTS	0:30:07	0:30:09
Huh?	0:30:09	0:30:11
Ha ha ha!	0:30:11	0:30:14
MAKES MORE KUNG FU NOISES	0:30:14	0:30:16
Whoo! Smush! Oof!	0:30:16	0:30:19
You boys headed back to town?	0:30:19	0:30:21
Yes, sir. We got to go file a report with the sheriff.	0:30:21	0:30:23
Give him back his horse.	0:30:23	0:30:25
This one's too skittish around cows.	0:30:25	0:30:28
And that, girls,	0:30:28	0:30:29
is what makes me and Rico	0:30:29	0:30:31
equal parts of one lean, mean crime-fighting...	0:30:31	0:30:35
HORSE WHINNIES	0:30:35	0:30:38
..machine?	0:30:39	0:30:41
Well, there it is, then.	0:30:43	0:30:45
Well, well, well, stud.	0:30:45	0:30:49
Now, I'm no professional,	0:30:49	0:30:51
but I'd say the only mano a mano	0:30:51	0:30:53
you'll be doing is in your dreams.	0:30:53	0:30:56
Oh, look out, Buck.	0:30:56	0:30:57
He's making a move on your left flank.	0:30:57	0:30:59
Kaboosh!	0:30:59	0:31:00
Maggie! Grace! Leave that poor animal alone.	0:31:00	0:31:03
SHE LAUGHS	0:31:03	0:31:05
Buck, I realise you're very upset,	0:31:05	0:31:08
but if you'd like to join our group	0:31:08	0:31:10
and help us bring in Slim, we'd be happy to have you.	0:31:10	0:31:13
However, there are a few	0:31:13	0:31:16
anger-management issues we need to discuss.	0:31:16	0:31:19
I wouldn't help you bossy bovines	0:31:19	0:31:21
if my life depended on it!	0:31:21	0:31:23
That's just what I'm talking about.	0:31:23	0:31:25
MAGGIE: Grace!	0:31:25	0:31:26
Bye.	0:31:26	0:31:28
MAGGIE: Come on, girls. Let's go get Slim.	0:31:28	0:31:30
"Come on, girls, let's go get Slim."	0:31:30	0:31:33
Cud-chewing heifers.	0:31:33	0:31:35
Huh. I can catch that Slim with one hoof tied behind my back.	0:31:35	0:31:38
Wait a minute.	0:31:38	0:31:40
Why don't I?	0:31:40	0:31:41
Yes! Partner or no partner,	0:31:41	0:31:43
that's what I'm-a do. Hey!	0:31:43	0:31:45
# Ba ba ba ba ba... #	0:31:45	0:31:47
NEIGHS FRANTICALLY	0:31:47	0:31:49
COWBOYS SHOUT	0:31:49	0:31:51
-COWBOY: -Aw, forget it.	0:31:51	0:31:53
Definitely bipolar.	0:31:53	0:31:55
Move it, sister! Hero passing on the left!	0:31:55	0:31:57
-Hey, watch it. -Where are you going, hotfoot?	0:31:57	0:32:00
I'm gonna go nab that rustler and show Rico I got what it takes,	0:32:00	0:32:03
so say goodbye to your farm, girls, because Slim is mine.	0:32:03	0:32:07
It's hero time!	0:32:07	0:32:08
Watch out now! Hey! Get back!	0:32:08	0:32:10
Jump back! Kiss myself! Whoo!	0:32:10	0:32:12
Da da yoo!	0:32:12	0:32:13
Oh, this is a fine kettle of fish.	0:32:13	0:32:16
How can we compete with that?	0:32:16	0:32:18
Look at the bright side, Mrs C.	0:32:18	0:32:19
Don't forget about our secret weapon.	0:32:19	0:32:22
Secret weapon?	0:32:22	0:32:24
Who better to catch a cattle thief than a cow?	0:32:24	0:32:26
Yeah, even you can't argue with that kind of logic.	0:32:26	0:32:30
Ok, maybe you can.	0:32:30	0:32:31
You know, Grace,	0:32:31	0:32:33
Maggie does so love your singing. How about a song?	0:32:33	0:32:37
MAGGIE: I'm gonna get you for this.	0:32:37	0:32:39
SLIM LAUGHS	0:32:40	0:32:41
Ha ha! 5,000 Texas longhorns.	0:32:43	0:32:47
Not bad for one night's work.	0:32:47	0:32:50
-COWBOY: -Pick a colour.	0:32:50	0:32:52
-SLIM: -I said, not bad for one night's work.	0:32:52	0:32:54
Thank you.	0:32:55	0:32:56
And judging by the ear mark,	0:32:56	0:32:59
I'd say these are the last of Big Mike Donald's herd.	0:32:59	0:33:03
Big Mike Donald had a farm?	0:33:03	0:33:05
Ee-aye-ee-aye...	0:33:05	0:33:07
Ohh.	0:33:07	0:33:09
That's right. He HAD a farm.	0:33:09	0:33:11
Heh heh heh.	0:33:11	0:33:12
Now all his cash cows have disappeared,	0:33:12	0:33:14
that poor sap's flat broke.	0:33:14	0:33:16
Perfect time for a certain upstanding land owner	0:33:16	0:33:19
to step in and take all the land.	0:33:19	0:33:21
-Aah! Who are you? -What did you do with Uncle Slim?	0:33:21	0:33:24
Put up your dukes, Mr Fancy Britches.	0:33:24	0:33:27
It's me. Hello?	0:33:29	0:33:30
This here is the disguise I use	0:33:30	0:33:32
to sneak into all them auctions and buy all the land,	0:33:32	0:33:35
you brainless monotone monkeys.	0:33:35	0:33:37
Shoot, you got to be the richest land baron in the west.	0:33:37	0:33:41
Yes, but the part that really warms my heart	0:33:41	0:33:44
is watching those homesteaders suffer.	0:33:44	0:33:47
STEAM HISSES	0:33:48	0:33:49
Back in the day, I worked	0:33:49	0:33:51
the highfalutinest ranches you ever seen,	0:33:51	0:33:53
but those stuck-up ranch bosses	0:33:53	0:33:55
couldn't appreciate my talents.	0:33:55	0:33:57
Maybe they just didn't like your singing.	0:33:57	0:34:00
HE GRINDS HIS TEETH	0:34:00	0:34:01
My singing?	0:34:01	0:34:02
Songbirds sing.	0:34:04	0:34:07
Saloon gals sing.	0:34:07	0:34:09
Little bitty snot-nosed children sing.	0:34:09	0:34:13
I yodel!	0:34:13	0:34:15
And yodelling is an art!	0:34:15	0:34:17
Well, maybe they just didn't like your yodelling.	0:34:17	0:34:20
He didn't mean it, Uncle Slim.	0:34:23	0:34:25
Everybody likes yodelling.	0:34:25	0:34:27
Hmm?	0:34:27	0:34:29
Why, it's one of the funniest, cornball, goofy, silly sounds	0:34:29	0:34:34
in the whole West.	0:34:34	0:34:36
Yaah! Aah! Yaah!	0:34:36	0:34:38
-Uh, Gil? -Uh-huh?	0:34:42	0:34:44
Am I correct in assuming that each and every time	0:34:44	0:34:47
we brought a herd back to this secret lair,	0:34:47	0:34:50
you've managed to sit in the exact same spot,	0:34:50	0:34:53
blocking that choice piece of property from my view?!	0:34:53	0:34:57
This is my comfy place.	0:34:57	0:35:00
What? Aah!	0:35:00	0:35:03
It's called Patch of Heaven, Uncle Slim.	0:35:03	0:35:05
Goes on auction Thursday morning.	0:35:05	0:35:08
Perfect. Pencil it in. Thursday morning,	0:35:08	0:35:11
right after we sell off this herd.	0:35:11	0:35:13
But it's just a little old dirt farm.	0:35:13	0:35:15
Ah, what's the difference? When you're talking revenge,	0:35:15	0:35:19
every last acre counts.	0:35:19	0:35:23
I don't get it.	0:35:39	0:35:40
Weren't the cows supposed to come back?	0:35:40	0:35:42
Daddy, what's going to happen if they don't?	0:35:42	0:35:45
Oh, but they are coming back.	0:35:45	0:35:47
Hogwash! We all know they're never coming back.	0:35:47	0:35:50
What? Ooh! Ooh!	0:35:50	0:35:52
HE CHUCKLES	0:35:52	0:35:53
You don't know that, Jeb.	0:35:53	0:35:55
Everybody knows that bovines	0:35:55	0:35:57
are the most intelligent,	0:35:57	0:35:59
crafty animals in the west.	0:35:59	0:36:01
Yeah. He's right, you know.	0:36:01	0:36:02
It doesn't take a cow to figure out they saw the writing on the wall	0:36:02	0:36:07
-and flown the coop while the getting was good. -What?	0:36:07	0:36:10
Oh, no! They tricked us and deserted us!	0:36:10	0:36:13
No, no. Aud-Audrey.	0:36:13	0:36:14
CHICKENS SCREAM	0:36:14	0:36:16
Excuse me. Excuse me.	0:36:16	0:36:18
Excuse me!	0:36:18	0:36:21
Oh, uh...	0:36:24	0:36:25
let's not forget who we're talkin' 'bout.	0:36:25	0:36:28
Audrey, remember when Grace helped you figure out	0:36:28	0:36:31
why you crossed the road?	0:36:31	0:36:33
And, Jeb...	0:36:33	0:36:34
Mrs Caloway knew just what to do	0:36:34	0:36:37
when your head got stuck in that spittoon.	0:36:37	0:36:39
Get off my case!	0:36:39	0:36:40
And Maggie was gonna make us all winners.	0:36:40	0:36:43
I truly believe there ain't nothin'	0:36:43	0:36:46
those three cows can't do.	0:36:46	0:36:48
CHICKS CHIRP	0:36:53	0:36:55
Aw...	0:36:55	0:36:56
Well, whatever they're gonna do,	0:36:56	0:36:58
they better do it soon.	0:36:58	0:37:00
I'm so very sorry, Pearl.	0:37:00	0:37:04
It's a real shame. It is.	0:37:04	0:37:07
PEARL SIGHS	0:37:11	0:37:13
Ollie, I don't know what's worse,	0:37:13	0:37:15
losing my farm to the highest bidder	0:37:15	0:37:18
or knowing that...that my girls are lost	0:37:18	0:37:22
and alone out there.	0:37:22	0:37:24
DISTANT THUNDER	0:37:24	0:37:26
Yee-haw!	0:37:27	0:37:29
Come on, girls.	0:37:29	0:37:30
SHE SNIFFS Either I'm getting good at this,	0:37:30	0:37:32
or his scent is getting stronger.	0:37:32	0:37:33
Go get him, Maggie.	0:37:33	0:37:35
Look out, Slim!	0:37:35	0:37:36
No. It can't be.	0:37:36	0:37:38
We're on your trail!	0:37:38	0:37:39
Hmm.	0:37:39	0:37:41
Hoo hoo!	0:37:55	0:37:56
ALL GASP	0:37:58	0:37:59
-GRACE: -Oops.	0:37:59	0:38:01
-MRS CALOWAY: -This has Buck written all over it.	0:38:01	0:38:03
We're not gonna let this dumb old trick stop us.	0:38:03	0:38:06
Sooner or later, all these paths will hook up,	0:38:06	0:38:08
and then...	0:38:08	0:38:09
-GRACE: -Oh, no, the tracks!	0:38:11	0:38:13
Hurry up, don't lose that trail.	0:38:13	0:38:15
What trail? I can't see anything.	0:38:15	0:38:18
THUNDER RUMBLES	0:38:18	0:38:19
Look out!	0:38:19	0:38:21
Oh! Flash flood!	0:38:23	0:38:26
Get to high ground!	0:38:26	0:38:28
Oh.	0:38:31	0:38:32
Maggie!	0:38:32	0:38:33
Oh!	0:38:35	0:38:37
WATER ROARING	0:38:38	0:38:40
THEY SCREAM	0:38:46	0:38:48
SHE COUGHS	0:38:56	0:38:57
Maggie!	0:39:04	0:39:05
COUGHING	0:39:05	0:39:06
No! Come on, girls, we can't give up!	0:39:19	0:39:23
Maggie, that's enough.	0:39:23	0:39:24
The minute this lets up,	0:39:24	0:39:26
we're heading straight home to Patch of Heaven.	0:39:26	0:39:29
But what about catching Slim and collecting the reward?	0:39:29	0:39:32
We never had a prayer of catching him in the first place.	0:39:32	0:39:34
This whole ridiculous plan	0:39:34	0:39:36
is just so you can get revenge on those cattle rustlers.	0:39:36	0:39:40
Hey! For your information, duchess,	0:39:40	0:39:43
this whole ridiculous plan is about us saving our farm.	0:39:43	0:39:46
Huh. Our farm might've had a fighting chance	0:39:46	0:39:49
until you came along.	0:39:49	0:39:50
What's that supposed to mean?	0:39:50	0:39:52
Strutting around with your vulgar show-cow behaviour.	0:39:52	0:39:55
I was just having...	0:39:55	0:39:56
Wasting our time on your foolish plans.	0:39:56	0:39:59
Through the years, Patch of Heaven	0:39:59	0:40:01
has survived every hardship nature can dish out,	0:40:01	0:40:03
but you, Maggie,	0:40:03	0:40:04
are the biggest catastrophe to ever hit our farm.	0:40:04	0:40:08
Well, if that's the way you feel,	0:40:08	0:40:10
maybe we should just go our separate ways.	0:40:10	0:40:12
That's the first good idea you've had.	0:40:12	0:40:14
-Fine! -Fine!	0:40:14	0:40:16
Fine!	0:40:16	0:40:17
Fine!	0:40:17	0:40:18
Yeah.	0:40:26	0:40:27
Fine.	0:40:27	0:40:29
It's not like your farm	0:40:29	0:40:31
was ever gonna feel like home to me anyways.	0:40:31	0:40:34
# Rain is pourin' down	0:40:50	0:40:52
# Like the heavens are hurtin'	0:40:52	0:40:55
# Seems like it's been dark	0:40:55	0:40:57
# Since the devil knows when	0:40:57	0:41:01
# How do you go on	0:41:01	0:41:02
# Never knowing for certain	0:41:02	0:41:06
# Will the sun ever shine again?	0:41:06	0:41:11
# Feels like it's been years	0:41:11	0:41:13
# Since it started to thunder	0:41:13	0:41:16
# Clouds are campin' out	0:41:16	0:41:18
# In the valley and glen	0:41:18	0:41:21
# How do you go on	0:41:21	0:41:24
# When you can't help but wonder	0:41:24	0:41:27
# Will the sun ever shine again?	0:41:27	0:41:31
# What if the rain keeps fallin'?	0:41:31	0:41:36
# What if the sky stays grey?	0:41:36	0:41:42
# What if the winds keep squallin'	0:41:42	0:41:48
# And never go away?	0:41:48	0:41:52
# Maybe soon the storm will be tired of blowin'	0:41:52	0:41:57
# Maybe soon it all will be over, amen	0:41:57	0:42:02
# How do you go on	0:42:02	0:42:04
# If there's no way of knowin'?	0:42:04	0:42:08
# Will the sun ever shine?	0:42:08	0:42:12
# Wish I could say	0:42:12	0:42:13
# Send me a sign	0:42:14	0:42:17
# One little ray	0:42:17	0:42:19
# Lord, if you're listenin'	0:42:19	0:42:22
# How long until then?	0:42:22	0:42:27
# Will the sun ever shine	0:42:28	0:42:32
# Again? #	0:42:32	0:42:38
SNORING	0:42:55	0:42:57
Mmm...	0:42:57	0:43:00
Maggie.	0:43:05	0:43:06
Maggie. Maggie.	0:43:06	0:43:08
-Wake up. -Check, please!	0:43:08	0:43:10
It tasted a lot better in my sleep.	0:43:20	0:43:22
Well, I suppose you'll be off now.	0:43:22	0:43:25
Mm-hmm.	0:43:25	0:43:26
Where will you go?	0:43:26	0:43:28
Oh, probably check out the Grand Canyon.	0:43:28	0:43:30
See Utah before I die.	0:43:30	0:43:32
Wait a minute. Where's Grace?	0:43:32	0:43:34
Hi, there.	0:43:34	0:43:35
Boy, am I glad you guys are up.	0:43:35	0:43:37
Hey, come look at this.	0:43:37	0:43:39
What on earth? Where did all this come from?	0:43:39	0:43:42
Hey, it's green, it's leafy, and it's free. Shut up and eat.	0:43:42	0:43:46
Morning, ladies. I see you're enjoying your appetizer.	0:43:46	0:43:49
Never knew a pretty lady didn't have an appetite.	0:43:49	0:43:51
Oh, now, see here, you ruffian...	0:43:51	0:43:53
He's not a ruffian, Mrs Caloway.	0:43:53	0:43:55
He's a genuine desert shaman.	0:43:55	0:43:58
Our very own wise man.	0:43:58	0:44:00
Shaman, chef, chief cook, and bottle washer.	0:44:00	0:44:02
I'm a jackrabbit of all trades and at your service.	0:44:02	0:44:05
Folks around these parts call me Lucky Jack.	0:44:05	0:44:08
Yep, they used to come from miles around	0:44:08	0:44:10
just to get one rub of my lucky rabbit's foot.	0:44:10	0:44:13
Whoo! Dagnabit!	0:44:13	0:44:15
This happens all the time. Now, where was I?	0:44:18	0:44:21
Ah. Voila.	0:44:21	0:44:23
Now let me just get this on the fire,	0:44:23	0:44:26
and it'll be ready directly.	0:44:26	0:44:28
Mm-huh. Ow! Yow!	0:44:28	0:44:30
Look, we don't eat meat. Kind of like a professional courtesy.	0:44:30	0:44:34
Perhaps we'll dine with you some other time.	0:44:34	0:44:36
You see, Grace and I are returning to our farm	0:44:36	0:44:39
to say our last goodbyes.	0:44:39	0:44:40
Yeah. We need closure.	0:44:40	0:44:43
I can sympathise there, I truly can.	0:44:43	0:44:45
Until recently, I, too, had a home.	0:44:45	0:44:48
Echo Mine it was called.	0:44:48	0:44:49
Us jackrabbits lived there	0:44:49	0:44:51
for generation after generation.	0:44:51	0:44:54
Till some land-grabbing bandit	0:44:54	0:44:57
moved in and flushed us out	0:44:57	0:44:59
like yesterday's oatmeal.	0:44:59	0:45:01
Ahem. Excuse us.	0:45:01	0:45:04
My good fellow, we must be on our way.	0:45:04	0:45:05
Wait! There he is!	0:45:05	0:45:07
SCREECHING	0:45:07	0:45:09
JACK GROWLS	0:45:09	0:45:11
Aah!	0:45:11	0:45:13
Slim!	0:45:13	0:45:14
You mean this no-good varmint	0:45:14	0:45:16
is hiding out in Echo Mine right now?	0:45:16	0:45:19
-Without a doubt. -Maggie, what are you thinking?	0:45:19	0:45:21
Look, I got a score to settle with that rhinestone fat boy	0:45:21	0:45:25
and nothing to lose.	0:45:25	0:45:26
But it'll be dangerous going after Slim all by yourself.	0:45:26	0:45:29
Hey, I got the rabbit.	0:45:29	0:45:32
That's not all you got, Maggie.	0:45:32	0:45:34
You got us.	0:45:34	0:45:35
Oh, no. No, no, no. No.	0:45:35	0:45:38
We are sticking to our plan and going home.	0:45:38	0:45:40
Hold on, you two.	0:45:40	0:45:42
As strange as this sounds,	0:45:42	0:45:45
Grace is actually making sense.	0:45:45	0:45:47
-Thank you. -You want the money	0:45:47	0:45:49
and I want to get even with Slim.	0:45:49	0:45:51
The three of us go together and we're sure to get him.	0:45:51	0:45:53
Once you collect the reward,	0:45:53	0:45:55
I'll walk out your front gate	0:45:55	0:45:56
and I'll stay out of it forever. Deal?	0:45:56	0:46:00
Your powers of persuasion are uncanny. Deal.	0:46:01	0:46:06
Ha! Bovine bounty hunters!	0:46:06	0:46:08
Now I've seen everything.	0:46:08	0:46:09
Let's get moving, ladies.	0:46:09	0:46:11
Time for an underground smackdown. Yee-haw!	0:46:11	0:46:16
# Out in the land where the heroes meet their makers	0:46:16	0:46:20
# Out in the land where the hale and hearty fall	0:46:20	0:46:24
# Out where the fearless get the shudders	0:46:24	0:46:26
# Justice is here and it's wearing udders	0:46:26	0:46:28
# Yee-haw! The cows are walkin' tall	0:46:28	0:46:30
# Home, home, this ain't it, pal	0:46:30	0:46:32
# Home, home, home on the range	0:46:32	0:46:34
# home, home, better go git, pal	0:46:34	0:46:36
# Home, home, home on the range. #	0:46:36	0:46:38
-SLIM: -OK, boys, let's go through it one last time.	0:46:38	0:46:42
-Who am I? -Uncle Slim?	0:46:42	0:46:45
Correct! Heh.	0:46:45	0:46:47
Now, I put on my hat...	0:46:47	0:46:49
then I put on my spectacles...	0:46:49	0:46:52
-Hey! Who are you?! -Where's Uncle Slim?	0:46:52	0:46:55
Ohh! It's still me! Can't you stupid sack of hammers get it right?	0:46:55	0:47:00
TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS	0:47:00	0:47:01
Oh, the ever-punctual Mr Weaseley.	0:47:01	0:47:04
-SLIM: -OK, everybody make way	0:47:04	0:47:07
for the big man in black market livestock.	0:47:07	0:47:10
HISSING	0:47:12	0:47:14
MAN COUGHS	0:47:14	0:47:16
-Aah! -Hey, who're you?	0:47:19	0:47:20
-MAN: -All right, come on!	0:47:20	0:47:22
Move it, or I'll tan your hides right here.	0:47:22	0:47:24
I...hey, hey, hey! Watch the suit! Watch the suit!	0:47:24	0:47:27
Feast your eyes. 5,000 cows	0:47:27	0:47:30
on the barrelhead, as promised, Mr Weaseley.	0:47:30	0:47:33
The name's Wesley.	0:47:33	0:47:35
So, Slim, what do you say we get a move on	0:47:35	0:47:37
and load these cash cows onto the train ASAP, huh? Let's go.	0:47:37	0:47:41
Yes, yes, of course.	0:47:41	0:47:42
Just as soon as I finish counting. Hmm.	0:47:42	0:47:45
-GRACE: -Lucky Jack, you did it! We're here!	0:47:50	0:47:52
-MRS CALOWAY: -I take my hat off to you, Jack.	0:47:52	0:47:55
You've got us here in one piece.	0:47:55	0:47:57
Well, seein' is believin'.	0:47:57	0:47:58
And I don't believe what I see.	0:47:58	0:48:00
-MRS CALOWAY: -It's Buck! -MAGGIE: Stallion of the Cim-moron.	0:48:00	0:48:03
I'm supposed to be here in case one of the horses get tired.	0:48:03	0:48:06
Cows only.	0:48:06	0:48:07
Look, friend, you don't understand my situation.	0:48:07	0:48:10
No, YOU don't understand,	0:48:10	0:48:13
so I'll say it again.	0:48:13	0:48:15
The only critters that get by me are cows.	0:48:15	0:48:18
Cows only.	0:48:18	0:48:21
Oh, come on! Look, cut me a break.	0:48:21	0:48:24
-MOOING -Now what?	0:48:24	0:48:25
Aww, what are you doing here?	0:48:25	0:48:27
Ha ha! Sorry we're late.	0:48:27	0:48:28
We got separated from the herd.	0:48:28	0:48:30
Right this way, little lady.	0:48:30	0:48:32
Tell 'em Junior sent you.	0:48:32	0:48:33
Ohh...	0:48:33	0:48:35
Howdy, partner! Ahem.	0:48:35	0:48:36
Nice hat, ma'am.	0:48:36	0:48:38
Oh! Cheeky devil.	0:48:38	0:48:40
Excuse me, reject. Coming through.	0:48:40	0:48:43
Oh! Hey, what gives?!	0:48:43	0:48:45
-How come they got to go through? -They're cows.	0:48:45	0:48:48
What?! But what about the rabbit?	0:48:48	0:48:50
Well, obviously, he was with the cows.	0:48:50	0:48:53
Ha! I'm with the cows, too!	0:48:53	0:48:55
Yeah! Hey! Hey, cows! W-Wait up!	0:48:55	0:48:58
You got to tell this guy you know me!	0:48:58	0:49:00
See, Junior, we're old friends!	0:49:00	0:49:02
Come on, Margie! Uh, Gretchen!	0:49:02	0:49:04
Miss, uh...uh, Hat Cow!	0:49:04	0:49:06
Come on, it's your old pal Buck, see?	0:49:06	0:49:08
Buck...Buck...	0:49:08	0:49:10
Oh, Buck!	0:49:10	0:49:12
Nah, doesn't ring a bell.	0:49:12	0:49:14
No, no, no, wait!	0:49:14	0:49:15
Hey, come back! No!	0:49:15	0:49:16
Hang on...hang on a second. Heh-heh-heh.	0:49:16	0:49:19
They're just kidding. You see, if you could... Oh, hey! Hey!	0:49:19	0:49:22
Hey, cows! Cows! Oof!	0:49:22	0:49:24
Don't make me hurt you.	0:49:24	0:49:26
Heh-heh.	0:49:26	0:49:28
Rico.	0:49:30	0:49:31
I gotta go,	0:49:31	0:49:34
but let's throw on the old feedbag sometime. Stay cool.	0:49:34	0:49:37
Ha ha ha! It's hero time.	0:49:37	0:49:40
-LUCKY JACK: -So what's the plan?	0:49:42	0:49:44
Well, let's see...you get his attention while I sneak up	0:49:44	0:49:47
and then I'll knock him into the cart,	0:49:47	0:49:49
then we rope him up and wheel him to justice!	0:49:49	0:49:52
And for extra measure,	0:49:52	0:49:53
how about we conk him on the noggin with this?	0:49:53	0:49:56
You go, cowgirl! That's usin' the old hat.	0:49:56	0:49:58
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Now, you lost me here, missy.	0:49:58	0:50:01
Look, Jack, it's simple.	0:50:01	0:50:02
Cart, smack, rope, roll, justice.	0:50:02	0:50:04
Come on, Jack, focus.	0:50:04	0:50:06
Now is not the time	0:50:06	0:50:07
to get all scatterbrained and flaky.	0:50:07	0:50:09
Oh, good, I'm not too late.	0:50:14	0:50:17
Sorry. Still stakin' out your quarry, huh?	0:50:17	0:50:19
Yeah, pretty much. Why?	0:50:19	0:50:20
Listen, I came to warn you,	0:50:20	0:50:22
one equine to another, about Rico.	0:50:22	0:50:24
As soon as he nabs that rustler,	0:50:24	0:50:26
-he's gonna be in a big hurry to collect that reward. -So?	0:50:26	0:50:29
So?! Once he catches his man,	0:50:29	0:50:30
that's when the horsewhip comes out and he's not shy about using it!	0:50:30	0:50:33
-Horsewhip? -Horsewhip!	0:50:33	0:50:35
And not only are you gonna carry Rico,	0:50:35	0:50:37
but that rustler too.	0:50:37	0:50:38
-Have you seen that guy? He's huge! -What should I do?	0:50:38	0:50:41
-Run! -OK.	0:50:41	0:50:42
Run like the wind, partner, and save yourself!	0:50:42	0:50:45
Go on, take off! Fade! Ride into the sunset!	0:50:45	0:50:48
Aah! Scram!	0:50:48	0:50:50
Thanks, buddy! I owe you one!	0:50:50	0:50:52
Godspeed, my friend!	0:50:52	0:50:53
So long, sucker! Ha ha!	0:50:53	0:50:55
He must be takin' stupid lessons from that buffalo.	0:50:55	0:50:58
Uh-oh.	0:50:59	0:51:00
-SLIM: -1,420... -GIL: -4,334...	0:51:00	0:51:03
1,440...	0:51:03	0:51:05
-4,335... -1,435...	0:51:05	0:51:09
-1... -4,336...	0:51:09	0:51:12
-Ohh! -4,337...	0:51:12	0:51:14
-Can't you morons count to yourselves? -Come on.	0:51:14	0:51:17
Gotta start all over!	0:51:17	0:51:18
-GRACE: -There he is.	0:51:18	0:51:19
Come on, let's go!	0:51:19	0:51:21
Hold on!	0:51:21	0:51:22
You're forgetting Slim's hypnotic control	0:51:22	0:51:24
over those with less than perfect pitch.	0:51:24	0:51:27
Jack, I hope you can forgive me.	0:51:27	0:51:28
-For what, missy? Aah! -For that.	0:51:28	0:51:30
Watch it there, toots!	0:51:30	0:51:31
Grace, how practical!	0:51:33	0:51:36
Done countin'!	0:51:36	0:51:37
-What do we got? -4,997.	0:51:37	0:51:41
What? Wait, wait, what?	0:51:41	0:51:43
I thought you said 5,000 even.	0:51:43	0:51:45
Of course I did.	0:51:45	0:51:46
Gil must've just miscounted, that's all.	0:51:46	0:51:48
MOOING	0:51:48	0:51:49
-PHIL: -There's one up there!	0:51:49	0:51:52
The others can't be far behind.	0:51:52	0:51:54
-SLIM: -Just you watch.	0:51:54	0:51:55
You're gonna like this. Yodelling's an art.	0:51:55	0:51:59
Ahem.	0:51:59	0:52:01
HE YODELS RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES	0:52:01	0:52:03
Huh?	0:52:09	0:52:10
HE YODELS	0:52:10	0:52:12
Ha ha ha!	0:52:16	0:52:18
What's the deal, Slimbo?	0:52:18	0:52:19
Maybe she wasn't an art lover.	0:52:19	0:52:22
Philistine!	0:52:22	0:52:23
Shut up, you greenhorns!	0:52:23	0:52:26
A bovine ain't been born that can resist my charms.	0:52:26	0:52:29
Ahem.	0:52:30	0:52:33
HE YODELS 1812 OVERTURE	0:52:33	0:52:35
Watch your back, Uncle Slim!	0:52:39	0:52:41
Got you!	0:52:41	0:52:42
Where do you think you're going?	0:52:42	0:52:45
Ooh!	0:52:47	0:52:48
-Now, Jack! -OK!	0:52:48	0:52:50
What in the rootin'-tootin' blazes is goin' on here?!	0:52:50	0:52:52
Whoo-ha!	0:52:52	0:52:54
SLIM GROANS	0:52:54	0:52:55
BOTH: Uncle Slim! Uncle Slim!	0:52:55	0:52:57
-GRACE: -Let's get outta here!	0:52:57	0:52:59
Come back here, dog meat!	0:53:00	0:53:02
-Jackpot! -We got him now!	0:53:02	0:53:04
-Well done! -Watch out!	0:53:04	0:53:05
It's Buck!	0:53:05	0:53:08
Hey, Casey Jones, grab the bills and fire up the Getaway Express!	0:53:08	0:53:11
BUCK SCREAMS	0:53:11	0:53:13
JUNIOR SNORTS	0:53:13	0:53:15
THEY MOO	0:53:15	0:53:16
BOTH: Uncle Slim! Uncle Slim!	0:53:16	0:53:17
I gave up clown college for this?	0:53:17	0:53:20
-BUCK: -Aah! Aah! Ooh! Mama!	0:53:20	0:53:22
Ooh.	0:53:22	0:53:23
It's Slim! I got Slim!	0:53:23	0:53:25
Rico's gonna be so proud of me!	0:53:25	0:53:27
-HE SQUEALS -Thank you!	0:53:27	0:53:29
Whoa! Whoa! Ooh! Leave me alone!	0:53:29	0:53:32
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!	0:53:32	0:53:33
BUCK SCREAMS	0:53:36	0:53:40
JUNIOR SCREECHES	0:53:41	0:53:42
Sorry.	0:53:42	0:53:43
-Uncle Slim! -Uncle Slim!	0:53:43	0:53:45
Quick, girls, in here!	0:53:45	0:53:46
THEY SCREAM	0:53:49	0:53:50
Hey!	0:53:50	0:53:51
Huh?	0:53:54	0:53:55
That was Rico!	0:53:57	0:53:59
What in blue blazes?	0:54:01	0:54:03
JUNIOR: I'll knock you into next Tuesday! Come back here!	0:54:08	0:54:12
You're going down!	0:54:12	0:54:14
Junior! Junior!	0:54:14	0:54:15
-Oh! Whoa! -Junior!	0:54:15	0:54:18
Junio-o-or! Whoo-hah!	0:54:18	0:54:20
Get this off of me!	0:54:20	0:54:22
Uncle Slim! Uncle Slim!	0:54:22	0:54:23
THUMP	0:54:23	0:54:25
Rico's saddle! I'm wearing Rico's saddle!	0:54:25	0:54:28
NEIGHS	0:54:28	0:54:30
Aah!	0:54:30	0:54:31
Aaah!	0:54:34	0:54:36
Uncle Slim!	0:54:36	0:54:38
Surprise!	0:54:39	0:54:40
Aah! Eee! Aah! Dang!	0:54:40	0:54:42
SCREECH	0:54:42	0:54:43
CLANGING	0:54:43	0:54:44
SIZZLING	0:54:46	0:54:48
SCREECH	0:54:48	0:54:49
SCREAMING	0:54:53	0:54:57
BOOMING	0:54:57	0:54:59
SCREAMING	0:54:59	0:55:01
MAGGIE: We made it, girls! We made it!	0:55:05	0:55:07
Three cheers! Hip-hip-hooray!	0:55:07	0:55:10
Ladies, we got company!	0:55:10	0:55:11
CHUGGING	0:55:14	0:55:16
Aaah! Aah!	0:55:16	0:55:18
Whoa! Stop! Stop! Hit the brake!	0:55:18	0:55:20
Look out!	0:55:20	0:55:22
CRASHING	0:55:22	0:55:24
CLATTERING	0:55:24	0:55:26
SQUEAKING	0:55:29	0:55:30
CLANGING	0:55:30	0:55:31
BIRD CHIRPS	0:55:31	0:55:33
SLIM SHOUTS	0:55:34	0:55:37
Yaah! Dagnabit!	0:55:37	0:55:40
I guess I gotta do everything around here myself!	0:55:40	0:55:44
GRUNTS	0:55:44	0:55:46
Call me crazy,	0:55:48	0:55:49
but I think these cows got it in for me.	0:55:49	0:55:52
Maybe they just don't like your singing.	0:55:52	0:55:54
Shut up! Ahem.	0:55:54	0:55:56
Mr Weaseley, my money, if you please.	0:55:56	0:56:00
Heh heh heh.	0:56:00	0:56:01
-I was just keeping it safe for you, Slim. -Sure you were.	0:56:01	0:56:03
Protecting my investments is what I pay this fellow for.	0:56:03	0:56:07
Mr Weaseley,	0:56:07	0:56:08
let me present the most traitorous, double-crossin' gun for hire	0:56:08	0:56:12
that I've ever had the pleasure	0:56:12	0:56:13
to call partner - Rico.	0:56:13	0:56:16
You're too kind, boss.	0:56:16	0:56:18
No, it can't be.	0:56:18	0:56:20
His reputation as a bounty hunter is well-known,	0:56:20	0:56:23
but lately he's been doing a little moonlighting	0:56:23	0:56:26
and covering my tracks.	0:56:26	0:56:28
Rico's going to see you to the border,	0:56:28	0:56:30
so that nothing else goes wrong.	0:56:30	0:56:34
SCREECHING	0:56:35	0:56:36
Now, if you'll all pardon me,	0:56:36	0:56:38
there's a little Patch of Heaven	0:56:38	0:56:40
on the auction block this morning.	0:56:40	0:56:42
He's going to buy our farm!	0:56:42	0:56:46
Adios! Yee-haw!	0:56:46	0:56:50
I don't know how you got here, skittish,	0:56:50	0:56:52
but stick with me and you may get to like	0:56:52	0:56:54
the other side of the law.	0:56:54	0:56:56
Get on there! Hyah!	0:56:56	0:56:59
-WESLEY: -All right, come on!	0:56:59	0:57:00
Move it, Bessie! Get in there!	0:57:00	0:57:02
Hurry up! You don't want to be late	0:57:02	0:57:04
for that big round-up in the sky!	0:57:04	0:57:06
Hah! Skittish, whoa!	0:57:08	0:57:11
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!	0:57:11	0:57:13
Get in there! Come on, you stupid cows!	0:57:13	0:57:17
Come on!	0:57:17	0:57:18
THUD	0:57:19	0:57:21
-WESLEY: -Lovely. Now get the engine fired up and let's make tracks.	0:57:21	0:57:24
-BUCK: -Make a break for it, ladies! Run!	0:57:28	0:57:30
Whoa! Hah! Skittish, whoa!	0:57:30	0:57:33
Buck, have you gone crazy?!	0:57:33	0:57:35
Now, that's entirely possible! Yo!	0:57:35	0:57:38
Or maybe I just figured out who the real heroes are!	0:57:38	0:57:42
Wait! What if this is some kind of trick?	0:57:42	0:57:45
Whoo! Whassah!	0:57:45	0:57:47
Ooh, this isn't a trick! It's a miracle! Come on!	0:57:47	0:57:51
So you think you got the drop on me...	0:57:52	0:57:55
well, think again! Hyah!	0:57:55	0:57:57
Whassah!	0:58:00	0:58:02
This is useless. Let's put our heads together.	0:58:06	0:58:09
More brains and less brawn.	0:58:09	0:58:11
All right!	0:58:11	0:58:12
Ok, Caloway, fetch!	0:58:19	0:58:22
-Kaboosh! -Hyah!	0:58:27	0:58:29
Ha! Lucky shot!	0:58:38	0:58:39
Mother of mercy.	0:58:40	0:58:41
Is this the end of Rico?	0:58:41	0:58:42
-BUCK: -Wow! Bravo!	0:58:46	0:58:49
Bravo! You stopped Rico cold!	0:58:49	0:58:51
Aw, shucks. T'weren't nothin'.	0:58:51	0:58:53
Fat lot of good it done us.	0:58:53	0:58:55
Alameda Slim has already flown the coop.	0:58:55	0:58:58
She's right. Unless we sprout wings,	0:58:58	0:59:01
we'll never make it back in time.	0:59:01	0:59:03
I can't believe what I'm hearing.	0:59:03	0:59:05
This train goes right by Patch of Heaven.	0:59:05	0:59:08
What is in the cud you've been chewin'?	0:59:08	0:59:10
How are we supposed to drive that thing?	0:59:10	0:59:13
How? How? I'll tell you how!	0:59:13	0:59:16
The same way we walked off the farm into the unknown.	0:59:16	0:59:19
The same way we fought off those burly barmaids.	0:59:19	0:59:23
And the same way we braved the western wilderness	0:59:23	0:59:27
without the benefit of food or water.	0:59:27	0:59:30
We caught Slim once, and we shall do it again!	0:59:30	0:59:35
Who's with me?	0:59:35	0:59:36
-BUCK: -Get out of here, you bulls! Head for the hills! Whoo!	0:59:38	0:59:42
Unh!	0:59:48	0:59:50
COWS LAUGH	0:59:50	0:59:52
-Let's get it on! -Cows rule!	0:59:52	0:59:54
BARRY: Howdy, darlin'! Down here!	0:59:54	0:59:56
Yeah! Look...look down! Hello there!	0:59:56	0:59:59
Oh, no!	0:59:59	1:00:00
I got two words for you guys...	1:00:00	1:00:02
cold shower!	1:00:02	1:00:05
We don't have time for this nonsense!	1:00:05	1:00:07
We have a farm to save!	1:00:07	1:00:08
Well, maybe we can help you.	1:00:08	1:00:09
Maybe we can help each... Oof!	1:00:09	1:00:12
other!	1:00:12	1:00:14
Bye! Come up and see us sometime!	1:00:14	1:00:16
Grace!	1:00:16	1:00:17
Oh, no! It's the Morning Express!	1:00:27	1:00:30
There's a switch up ahead!	1:00:30	1:00:31
Way ahead of you, pops! Hop on!	1:00:31	1:00:34
Come on, mule! Let's ride!	1:00:34	1:00:37
-LUCKY JACK: -Yee-haw!	1:00:39	1:00:41
Ha! Ha!	1:00:41	1:00:42
Whoa!	1:00:49	1:00:50
Oh! Whoa! Whoa!	1:00:50	1:00:53
Aah!	1:00:53	1:00:54
Roadhogs!	1:00:58	1:01:00
See you back at the farm, girls!	1:01:02	1:01:04
Good luck!	1:01:04	1:01:06
-LUCKY JACK: -This happens all the time.	1:01:06	1:01:08
Sold!	1:01:08	1:01:09
All property and livestock	1:01:09	1:01:11
formerly known as Patch of Heaven	1:01:11	1:01:13
is hereby sold to Mr Yancy O'Del.	1:01:13	1:01:17
Pleasure doing business with you.	1:01:17	1:01:19
O'Del's the name, foreclosure's the game.	1:01:21	1:01:24
Well, just set yourself over yonder.	1:01:24	1:01:27
Sign this deed and the property is all yours.	1:01:27	1:01:31
-SLIM: -Much obliged, Sheriff.	1:01:31	1:01:33
Ha ha ha!	1:01:33	1:01:35
BELL RINGS	1:01:35	1:01:39
-GRACE: -There it is!	1:01:39	1:01:40
Home and hearth!	1:01:40	1:01:42
And a holy hallelujah of a curve!	1:01:42	1:01:45
-Oh, quick, the brakes! -No time for that!	1:01:45	1:01:47
But won't we jump the tracks?	1:01:47	1:01:48
We are makin' our own tracks!	1:01:48	1:01:50
This is going to be messy!	1:01:50	1:01:51
The whole territory belongs to me. Huh?	1:01:58	1:02:02
Five cents for these chicks.	1:02:02	1:02:04
Come on, now, do I hear two cents?	1:02:04	1:02:07
Behind you! B-Behind you!	1:02:07	1:02:08
Whoa! Whoa! Hold your britches!	1:02:08	1:02:10
Come on, now!	1:02:10	1:02:11
Whoa! Run for your lives!	1:02:11	1:02:13
Watch yourself!	1:02:17	1:02:18
What's the idea of crashing your train on my property?	1:02:22	1:02:26
What? Uh...	1:02:26	1:02:28
It can't be!	1:02:28	1:02:30
DING	1:02:42	1:02:43
RUMBLING	1:02:43	1:02:44
Hold it right there!	1:02:44	1:02:46
Piggies, it's time to open up a can of whoop-hide!	1:02:46	1:02:50
Unh! Who the...	1:02:50	1:02:51
Oof! Ow! Aah!	1:02:51	1:02:53
Oh! Get away from there! Aah!	1:02:55	1:02:58
Owww!	1:03:00	1:03:02
Oh, come on! Ow! Oof!	1:03:02	1:03:06
You wanna get nuts? Let's get nuts!	1:03:06	1:03:10
Ow! Aah!	1:03:10	1:03:11
Aaah!	1:03:12	1:03:14
Whoa-oh-oh-oh!	1:03:19	1:03:23
It's Alameda Slim!	1:03:23	1:03:24
You think you've won?	1:03:24	1:03:26
It ain't over till the fat man sings!	1:03:26	1:03:30
HE YODELS	1:03:30	1:03:32
Alameda Slim, you're under arrest.	1:03:44	1:03:47
MUFFLED YELLS	1:03:47	1:03:48
Nobody messes with Pearl's girls!	1:03:48	1:03:51
Say, girls...got milk?	1:03:51	1:03:52
-ALL: Buck! -Just kidding.	1:03:52	1:03:55
Take him away, boys!	1:03:55	1:03:57
Hope you like stripes.	1:03:57	1:04:00
Pearl, your cows can't do much with Slim's reward money.	1:04:00	1:04:03
Think you can find some use for it?	1:04:03	1:04:05
Whoo-eee! My farm is saved!	1:04:05	1:04:08
MOOING	1:04:08	1:04:10
Where's Maggie?	1:04:16	1:04:18
I can't believe she just left.	1:04:27	1:04:30
I'm gonna miss her.	1:04:30	1:04:32
So shall I, Grace.	1:04:32	1:04:34
Her brash manner, her bullheadedness.	1:04:34	1:04:36
She risked her life for us,	1:04:36	1:04:38
and who are we but strangers?	1:04:38	1:04:40
We were privileged to know her.	1:04:40	1:04:42
She was a cow like no other!	1:04:42	1:04:45
Right down to her appalling bodily eruptions.	1:04:45	1:04:49
SHE BELCHES Ahh, that was good!	1:04:49	1:04:51
-Maggie! -I was just having one for the road	1:04:51	1:04:54
when I heard all the nice stuff	1:04:54	1:04:56
you guys were saying about me.	1:04:56	1:04:58
You know, maybe I could hang around a while.	1:04:58	1:05:01
How about forever?	1:05:01	1:05:03
Hmm. Well, it's your call, Caloway.	1:05:03	1:05:06
Is this barnyard big enough for the both of us?	1:05:06	1:05:08
Only if you let me wear the hat.	1:05:08	1:05:12
Yee-haw!	1:05:12	1:05:13
Come on, move your hides, girls.	1:05:13	1:05:16
Last one to the barn sleeps standing up!	1:05:16	1:05:18
Awww.	1:05:18	1:05:20
Ok, everyone, big smiles!	1:05:20	1:05:23
-LUCKY JACK: -"So it was that Alameda Slim,	1:05:24	1:05:26
"the most notorious and feared cattle rustler	1:05:26	1:05:28
"was apprehended and unmasked by three unusual dairy cows."	1:05:28	1:05:33
Hey! Dagnabit, Jeb! How many times I got to tell you to wait your turn?	1:05:33	1:05:36
How many times have I got to tell you to get out of my barrel...	1:05:36	1:05:39
Dagnabit! You ornery ol'...	1:05:39	1:05:41
SIGHS	1:05:41	1:05:42
It's so nice that Jeb finally found a friend.	1:05:42	1:05:45
Here they come, everybody!	1:05:45	1:05:47
THEY ALL TALK AND LAUGH	1:05:47	1:05:49
Well done!	1:05:58	1:05:59
Ha ha ha!	1:05:59	1:06:00
Well, hi ho, ladies!	1:06:00	1:06:03
Hey, Barry, three queens, two kings, hmm?	1:06:03	1:06:06
Full house.	1:06:06	1:06:08
And the joker is wild.	1:06:08	1:06:11
Oh, yeah.	1:06:11	1:06:13
THEY TITTER	1:06:13	1:06:15
# Darlin', I swear	1:06:16	1:06:19
# Once you been there	1:06:19	1:06:21
# There ain't a view beneath the blue	1:06:21	1:06:23
# That could ever compare	1:06:23	1:06:26
# The only thing missing	1:06:26	1:06:28
# Is you as my guest	1:06:28	1:06:31
# On a little patch of heaven way out west	1:06:31	1:06:34
# Why don't you come visit?	1:06:34	1:06:37
# There's room in the nest	1:06:37	1:06:40
Yee-haw!	1:06:40	1:06:42
# On that little patch of heaven	1:06:42	1:06:44
# Way out west. #	1:06:44	1:06:50
COCKEREL CROWS	1:06:53	1:06:55
# La-la-la-la	1:06:56	1:06:59
# La la-la laa	1:06:59	1:07:01
# La-la-la-la	1:07:01	1:07:03
# La la-la laa	1:07:03	1:07:06
# When you're sad When you're feeling low	1:07:06	1:07:11
# When you're hurt And don't know where to go	1:07:11	1:07:16
# Think of me There I'll be	1:07:16	1:07:20
# Any time you need a friend	1:07:20	1:07:24
# When you're down And you're luck runs out	1:07:26	1:07:30
# Or if you're in trouble or in doubt	1:07:30	1:07:35
# It's OK	1:07:35	1:07:38
# Turn my way	1:07:38	1:07:40
# Any time you need a friend	1:07:40	1:07:43
# When you're scared I will stay with you	1:07:44	1:07:49
# When you feel you're fallin' I'll lift you	1:07:49	1:07:54
# When your heart breaks I'll ease your aches	1:07:54	1:07:59
# Whatever it takes, I'm in	1:07:59	1:08:03
# Any time you need a friend. #	1:08:03	1:08:07

Home on the Range

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