Shark Tale

Argh!

-Argh!

-(SPLASH!)

Huh?!

-MUSIC: "Jaws" theme tune

-(GULPS)

(MUFFLED SCREAMS)

(MUSIC BUILDS)

-(MUSIC STOPS)

-Hi, I'm Lenny.

-(MUFFLED GROAN)

-Oh, little buddy, did I scare you?

-I'm sorry. Wake up. Wake up.

-(GROANS)

-Don't worry about it.

I'm gonna get you out in a jiffy. Just keep holding your breath.

-Yo, Lenny! >

-I'm coming, Frankie!

-Move it. Come on, Pop's waiting. >

-Here we go.

Gotcha! OK, buddy, you're free. Escape. Go.

Just go. Cry freedom. Ah! You almost gave me a heart attack.

-Lenny, what are you doing?

-What? I... I was just, er...

-picking you some flowers.

-(SLAP!)

-Hey! Mom said it's not OK to hit!

-(SLAP!)

-Ah!

-Mom's not here.

-(HUMS "JAWS THEME TUNE")

-Don't.

-Don't!

-# Ba-ba-ba-dah!

-That song gives me the creeps.

-What?! It's our theme song.

'Are they gone? A-Are they gone?

'You sure? Good morning, Southside Reef.

'Katie Current, keeping it current.

'We've just received confirmation the sharks are gone. Repeat.

'The sharks are gone.'

# Don't worry about a thing

# Cos every little thing is gonna be all right

# Don't worry about a thing

# Cos every little thing is gonna be all right... #

-Mussel Crowe!

-Jessica Shrimpson!

Cod Stewart!

(BARKS)

'Up next, a mother of 800 tells us how she does it all.

'But first, over to Janice for the traffic report.'

Thanks, Katie. Slight congestion on the Inter-reef 95.

There's an overturned mackerel. Authorities are trying to calm him.

Get out those shellphones and call in to the boss, cos you'll be late.

(SOBS)

-(YELLS)

-Don't you yell at me! My mother is your mother! OK?

-Yep, it's fake.

-Fake?! I worked eight years on that!

# ..About a thing

# Every little thing is gonna be all right... #

(GROANS)

'According to the scallop poll, fear of sharks is at an all-time high.

'Join us tonight for an in-depth report.

'How long must this reef live under siege?

'Is there no hero among us who can stop this shark menace?'

Hi, I'm Oscar. You might think you know, but you have no idea.

(RAP MUSIC)

Welcome to my crib. The good life, the way the other half lives.

I got a 60-inch high-def flat-screen TV with six speaker surround.

CD, DVD, PlayStation hook-up and an eight-track player

for those days when you feel just a little... (RAPS) ..old school.

(LAUGHS) Cos even a superstar mack daddy fish like me

-has to have the basic necessities.

-Yeah, like money! (LAUGHS)

Come on, shorties. Why are you messing with my fantasy?

Cos you so broke, your baloney has no first name.

-That's funny. That's very funny.

-Hey, Oscar! >

Oscar! Over here!

-I gotta talk to you!

-I'll be right there. Hang on to these.

-Oscar, you the fish.

-Yo, dude.

Yo, Crazy Joe.

Now that you live in that penthouse, can I be your financial advisor?

-That's a billboard, Crazy Joe.

-You live in a billboard?

-No...

-And they call ME crazy! Ha-ha-ha!

-Hey, Oscar. Look who came to visit.

-(GASPS!)

-(ALL) Gotcha!

-No, don't do that. Shouldn't you kids be in school?

-Shouldn't you be at work?

-Right back at me, huh, smart mouth?

I'm on my way. Y'all stay out of trouble, all right? Clean that up.

See ya!

See ya, Oscar!

MUSIC: "Car Wash" by Christina Aguilera featuring Missy Elliott

-Yo, yo. What's up? Big O is in the house.

-Hi, Oscar.

(ALL) Whoa!

-Hi, Oscar.

-What's up?

-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)

-Hey, Reefside.

-Yo, Johnson, is it lunch yet?

-You just got here!

-That's my point!

Hey, Headphone Guy.

-Looking good, ladies.

-(ALL) Hey, Oscar.

Ugh, ugh, ugh. Keep up the bad work.

Huh?!

I'm already punched in? (PHONE RINGS) Angie.

Good morning. Can I help you?

-One wash and lube, please.

-Hot wax?

-Please.

-Kelp scrape? We're having a special.

-Why not? It's mating season.

-(PHONE RINGS)

Sykes Whale Wash. A whale of a wash and the price... Oh, my gosh!

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

May I suggest a barnacle peel? Removes lines and salt damage.

-Hey, Angie.

-Oh, my gosh! Hi, Oscar.

Thanks for covering. Yo, I'm sorry. Angie needs to get her freak on.

-Would you hold for one moment, please? Thanks.

-(Oscar!)

-Come on, Angie. Dance with me, mama.

-Hey!

-Let me see it.

(SINGS) Tomorrow I will be rich. Come on, Angie.

-Oscar, you're gonna get me fired.

-You, fired?! That can't happen.

Cos then I would have absolutely no reason to come to work.

-Oh, you don't mean that.

-Of course I do.

You're like my best friend. (GASPS)

Oh, listen. Tell me what you think about this.

This is the best idea ever.

It's a sure thing, guaranteed cash extravaganza.

-Bottled water.

-Oh, no.

I need another advance on my paycheck

and I am out of this place. I'm...pshoo!

Instead of getting in Mr Sykes' face with another get-rich-quick scheme,

go do something you're actually good at - your job.

Which with some miracle you still have.

Oh, almost forgot. I brought you some breakfast.

-You didn't?

-Mm-huh.

-Kelpy creams?

-Your favourite.

-(By the way, you're still on hold.)

-Oh, my gosh!

Thank you for holding. Busy, busy, busy! Go! How can I help you?

No. Mr Sykes is at a meeting. He won't be back till later...

How are my little babies this morning?

You miss me? You're doing good, huh? Huh?

You see, Sykes, it's a fish-eat-fish world.

-You either take or you get taken.

-(CHOMP FURIOUSLY)

Truer words have never been spoken. Is that it? Is that all? We done?

Now, you and me, we've worked together a long, long, long time.

-Please, Don Lino. Hardly work.

-Let me finish.

-You know...

-I love that about you.

-Let me finish.

I've lived my life for my sons, raising them, protecting them...

You're the best! He's the best! Right? Am I right?

-Am I right?

-It has all been to prepare them...

-Right? Sorry.

That's all right. ..for the day they run the reef.

Well, today is that day. (SIGHS)

-(RECORD SCRATCHES AND STICKS)

-Luca!

Oy vey!

Long story short, from now on, yous work for Frankie and Lenny.

-Capisce?

-Ha-ha-ha!

Lenny? Frankie I understand, but Lenny? You can't be serious?

I'm dead serious. It takes more than muscle to run things.

Lenny, he's got the brains. That's something special.

-Yeah, he's special all right.

-What's that mean?

-Nothing. I...

I bring you in here, look you in the eye, tell you what's what and what?

-What?

-What-what?

-What? Nothing. You said what first.

-I didn't say what. I asked you what.

You said, "Then what?" and I said what.

No, I said, "What-what?" like what-what.

-You said what first.

-Now you're making fun of me?

-No, no, no...

-Sorry we're late. >

-Lenny had an accident. He was born.

-Hee-hee(!) You're a comic genius(!)

All I'm saying, the kid ain't exactly no killer.

My Lenny IS a killer. You hear me? A cold-blooded killer. Look at him!

Huh?

That's it. That's it. You are out!

What?!

-(SQUEAKY) What do you mean I'm out?

-You're fired!

-Ah!

And on top of that, you're gonna have to start paying me.

-For what?

-So nothing happens to that little whale wash of yours.

Welcome to Oscar's crib.

60 foot slime-covered tongue with canker sores, swimming cavities

and plankton-encrusted teeth for when I feel a little old school.

Oh, stop your moaning, Oscar. It could be a lot worse, you know.

Yeah, that's true. I could have this job AND look like you. (LAUGHS)

-Who is behind me? Whoever's behind me better give me some.

-(RUMBLE)

Uh-oh!

Indigestion. She's gonna blow!

Wait! Headphone Guy's still in there.

I got you...

Headphone Guy!

(BURPS)

-(LAUGHS)

-Still think it could be worse?

Yeah, I could look like you. Ha-ha-ha!

Ha. Y'all funny. Well, see if you laugh at this!

Ha-ha-ha!

-(ROARS)

-Oh!

Soap in the eye! Soap in the eye!

It's all right. Look, I'll get you some coupons.

We'll get you a free hot wax.

-All right, go ahead, big baby.

-Thanks, Oscar.

-All right.

-(JAMAICAN ACCENT) Look who it is!

Just the fish we're looking for.

The boss need to see you right now.

Ernie! Bernie! My jellyfish brothers!

Hey, what's up, man? Good to see you. Huh?

What d'you say, Ange? OK. Fellas, I'm gonna go head over there.

# Don't worry... (HUMAN BEATBOX)

# About a thing

-# Because every little thing is gonna be all right #

-(SLAP!)

That's not the way you sing that song, man.

-Ah!

-(THUD!)

Yeah, Sykes. My brother from another mother.

What's the dizzy, baby? Show me that ugh.

What's going down? Hey, baby. This is all gravy today.

-You snap your fin. Snap it.

-Oscar.

-You're not snapping it.

-Oscar!

-Oh, wait, don't sweat it. A lot of white fish can't do it.

-Just sit down.

-Thank you.

I've been going over my markers. You are into me for five. Five Gs.

-Five Gs?! You're tripping, five Gs?

-Oh, yeah?

-See if this refreshes your memory.

-Whoa.

That's crazy. Look at that.

You wrote everything down so you wouldn't forget.

This is a prime example of why you're in management and I'm not. You go.

I have to pay Lino protection so everything you owe me, you owe him.

-How'd you figure that?

-Simple! The food chain.

On top there is Don Lino. There is me. There is regular fish.

-That's me.

-No. There's plankton, single-cell amoebas.

-Then, there's me.

-I'm getting there. There's coral.

There's rocks. There's whale poo. And then there's you.

That's messed up.

-So if Don Lino is squeezing me, he's squeezing you.

-What?!

-Oscar!

-Oh, damn! I'm sorry.

-Easy, boss. Find a happy place.

-Happy place.

There is no happy place with him around. (SQUEAKY) I'm serious!

OK! OK! Please just gimme some time. That's all I'm asking.

I'm begging you, Sykes. Please! Please!

-All right.

-(HISSES)

Cos I like you, I'm gonna give you 24 hours to pay up.

All of it? How am I supposed to do that?

That's your problem. Bring my 5,000 clams to the race tomorrow, or else.

-Or else what?

-The boys will explain.

(BOTH LAUGH)

-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)

-Unpleasant.

5,000 clams?!

You borrowed 5,000 clams from Mr Sykes?

Oscar! Why do you get yourself into these situations?

I don't know, Ange.

It's just hard, all right?

I'm a little fish in a big pond. A really big pond, the ocean.

I'm a nobody. I want some of that.

-Mrs Sanchez?

-What?

# This is ladies' night

-# Oh, what a night. #

-Eww! No.

That!

The top of the reef, where the somebodies live.

I wanna be rich and famous like them but I'm stuck down here.

Well, what's wrong with down here?

I'll tell you what's wrong with down here. Remember my dad?

He worked at the wash his whole life.

# Ooh, child... #

'He was the number one tongue-scrubber,

'every year for 25 years.

'To me, working at the Wash

'was the coolest job in the ocean.

'But then I learned something I will never forget.'

Ha-ha! Oscar's dad is a tongue scrubber!

(ALL CHANT) Tongue scrubber! Tongue scrubber! Tongue scrubber!

My dad was the greatest. But nobody loves a nobody.

I wanna be a somebody.

Oscar, you don't have to live at the top of the reef to be a somebody.

What's the difference? If I don't pay Mr Sykes back by tomorrow,

I'm dead anyways.

Wait here.

What's this?

-A pink pearl?!

-Mm-hmm.

-Where did you get that?

-My grandmother gave it to me.

She said it started

from a tiny grain of sand.

But then after a while,

it grew into something beautiful.

Dreams can begin small, too.

-No, no, I couldn't.

-Take it.

It'll get you the money you need for Mr Sykes.

What do you mean, you don't understand?

We've been over this 1,000 times. I don't wanna have to say it again.

You're giving me agita. I don't know how else to say this, Lenny.

You see something, you kill it, you eat it. Period. Thanks.

That's what sharks do. That's a fine tradition. What's the matter?

-Your brother Frankie, he's a killer.

-Thanks, Pop.

He's beautiful. He does what he's supposed to do. Wipe your face.

But you, I'm hearing things.

-You got to understand, when you look weak, it makes me look weak.

-I know.

-I can't have that.

-I'm sorry.

Lenny. Lenny. Look at me. Look at me.

This handing over the business, it's for you, for both of yous.

You act like you don't want it. I need to know you can handle that.

-(SPLUTTERS)

-All right.

Right here, in front of me now, eat this.

Yeah. Oh. Aw. Gee. Thanks, Pop.

Here's the thing, I'm on a diet.

I read an article about shrimps. They're not good for you.

I'm telling you, you know how many calories are in one of those? A lot.

It's true. And the other thing is,

my sister had a baby, I took it over because she passed way.

The baby lost its legs and its arms and now it's nothing but a stump.

But I still take care of it with my wife. And it's growing

and it's fairly happy. But it's difficult.

I've been working a second shift at the factory to put food on the table,

but all the love that I see in that little guy's face makes it worth it.

True story.

(SOBS)

(SIGHS) I'm not asking any more. I'm telling you, eat it!

-No, have mercy!

-Pop, please!

-Eat!

-No eat.

-What are you...?

-Son! Eat the shrimp!

-No!

-(ALL) Please!

-Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat!

-(SHRIMPS) No! No! No! No! No!

Put the shrimp down!

Go now. No-one's looking. Get out of here. You're free. Go!

You're a good person.

Come on, fellas!

Pop, I can handle the reef. It's not a problem.

No, we're gonna do this as a family.

-Frankie, I want you to take Lenny out, show him the ropes.

-Come on.

You're gonna learn how to be a shark, whether you like it or not.

(BELL RINGS)

-That kid had better show up or he's dead meat.

-Just say the word.

Carrying a big old envelope full of money. Give it to Mr Sykes.

Hurry up! This is our chance. You don't wanna miss it.

-Are you sure about this?

-The trainer tipped me off.

(The race is rigged. We can't lose!)

-What's the horse's name?

-(Lucky Day.)

(TANNOY) 'Lucky Day at 200-1!'

-We are gonna be rich.

-Rich!

Top of the reef, here I come.

No! Wait! What am I doing?

Remember what Angie said. What did Angie say?

Dreams can begin small. You just have to bet it all!

Bet it all!

(TANNOY) 'Lucky Day wins!'

# Are you ready, ready? It's Oscar! #

5,000 on Lucky Day to win!

That's 200-1. That would pay a million clams!

Well, I guess that makes me Oscar the millionaire.

(ECHOES) ..the millionaire.

Lucky Day, Lucky Day, Lucky Day!

# She's dangerous Super-fast

# Better watch out She'll take your cash

# She's a gold-digger She's a gold-digger

# She's dangerous Super-fast

# Better watch out She'll take your cash

-# She's a gold-digger... #

-Nice bet.

(CHUCKLES)

-You got a name?

-(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

-You wanna tell me what it is?

-(CHUCKLES)

Well, mine's Lola.

Come on, man. Get your game face on. Ah!

So, er, Lola,

-my name is O...

-(CRASH!)

-My name is Oscar, sweetie.

(GASPS) Mrs Sanchez!

-That hippity-hop smooth talk don't work with me.

-My bad.

Oscar. I was starting to think you skipped out on me.

Sykes! Hey. I see you are already on your way to the concession stand.

-What are you doing?

-Mind bringing us back some drinks?

That'd be great. Thanks. Bring back some of them little wiener thingies.

-The ones with the toothpicks?

-What are you doing?!

Let me escort you to my box.

-Your box?

-His box? You can't even afford the gum under the seats.

He just laid 5,000 on Lucky Day. He can afford anything he wants.

Five grand? My five grand?

-No, another five grand.

-You had the money to pay me back

-and you bet it anyway? Gimme that!

-Sykes!

-Clearly, I've made a mistake.

-No! No! Wait! Lola!

Look, deep down I'm really superficial. And don't get me wrong,

you're cute, but you're a nobody.

Oscar, you're cute but you're a nobody.

Wait, Lola. Come back. I'm not a nobody. I'm a wiener!

You are unbelievable!

You're in trouble up to your gills and still you're asking for more.

Get in here! You'd better pray that this horse of yours comes through.

Betting my 5,000! Hey! Hey! Hey, out of my seat!

You, out of my seat! Unbelievable!

-Sit tight and watch the race.

-With your good eye.

(ANNOUNCER) 'The horses are at the post. Go!'

-(BELL RINGS)

-'Fish Fingers followed by Sea Biscuit and Salmonella.

'Lucky Day is having trouble getting out of the gate.

'Only a sucker would bet on that!'

What?! Don't sweat it. He's just playing.

'What's this? Lucky Day is now crashing his way through the gate!

'And he's off! Down the straight, Sea Biscuit, Fish Fingers...'

Please, Lucky Day. Go fast. Go fast.

'Coming around the turn, Sea Biscuit by a length. Lucky Day well behind.

'Lucky Day, coming up from behind.

'He's passing Yellow Tail! Salmonella!'

See! Who's your fish now? Go!

'Around the final turn. Here comes Lucky Day.

'Lucky Day has caught up to Fish Fingers. They're head-to-head!'

I'm getting tired just thinking about counting all this money.

'Look at Lucky Day go!'

-(BOTH SING) We're moving on up to the Eastside.

-'Absolutely amazing!

'This looks to be Lucky Day's big day!

'It's Lucky Day.

'What happened?

'Lucky Day is down!'

-(BOTH SING) We're moving on up...

-NO-O-O-O!

'Fish Fingers, Sea Biscuit, Yellow Tail. Fish Fingers wins!'

Wait, wait, wait. I just wanna hold you.

-Get out of my way. Let me see!

-Remember your happy place, Sykes.

'That's why they call him a long shot.'

Yo, that was crazy, right? Who knew? I mean everything's set. It's a lock.

We good to go, we in the money, and he trips underwater.

Who in the halibut trips underwater?

-By the way, on what?

-That's it!

I've had it! Ernie! Bernie! Find the deepest hole in the ocean,

dig deeper and put him in it.

-(POP!)

-(SCREAMS)

Sorry, kid, it's nothing personal. It's just business.

(ERNIE AND BERNIE) # Don't worry

# About a thing

# Cos every little thing is gonna be all right... #

-This is how you sing it, Oscar.

-Yeah.

Sykes, he like you, man. He said take it easy on you.

-But Sykes is not here.

-True.

-Ernie, let me ask a question.

-Yeah, man. Go on.

Why is it m'locks sting other people but they have no effect on you?

-Ah!

-Ernie! I didn't mean it.

-Ernie!

-Ah!

(LAUGHS)

You made a joke. Good one, man.

-(BOTH) Respect.

-Bloodfire!

(MUFFLED) Oh.

Frankie, you know I can't do this.

If you wanna make Pop happy, kill something!

I could find a very old, sick fish and just wait.

It's getting around, your thing at the restaurant. Fish talk.

Bidi-bip, bidi-bap, this, that, the other. Boom! You're dead.

I can't understand Wise Guy, so you have to be more specific.

Specific? You want specific? Be a shark for once in your life!

-What am I gonna do?

-Ah, Lenny, forget about it, OK?

We do a couple of practice runs. Badda-bing, badda-boom. Pop's happy.

-You're a shark, life goes on. Capisce?

-OK, OK. Capisce.

Wait. Whoa. Bingo.

Right there. Dead ahead. You see it? TV dinner.

-Don't get easier than this.

-All right. Come on.

Eye of the tiger. Frankie, I can do this.

-What if I can't do this?

-Don't bother coming home.

Good point! All right.

-Hit him in the tail again.

-(CRACKLES)

-I like the funny face he make.

-Funny face!

-Ernie!

-Blow out!

(GROANS)

(GASPS FOR AIR) Guys?

Guys? Don't leave me alone. Come on, there could be sharks out here!

(SCREAMS)

Oh, no, wait. I'm sorry.

-No, I'm not gonna...

-Lenny, like this.

-Oh, no.

Oh, wait!

Oh, my God! Just get it over with!

Wait a minute. Do me a favour. Don't chew me. I'm not for that.

-I'm not gonna eat you.

-Don't do the whole head trip thing with me.

Listen to me. Don't move until I tell you.

-Back up!

-That's it, Len. There you go, buddy.

That's it. Wiggle those fins, baby. Dig in.

I'm just pretending, so you can get away.

-Huh?

-When I turn around, you take off.

(MUFFLED) Tastes just like chicken. Mmm! Mmm!

Oh, no!

-What did I tell you?

-Sorry, I didn't get it. You want me to go now?

-What are you doing?! Go!

-That's it. I've had it up to here. (GROWLS)

-Oh, no!

-Hurry! Swim!

No, Frankie! Wait!

Get your boy!

(CLUNK!)

(GASPS) Frankie!

(Lenny?)

(COUGHS) Lenny, is that you?

I'm here, Frankie.

-Come closer.

-Yes, what is it?

-I'm so cold.

-That's just cos we're cold-blooded.

Ow!

-(COUGHS)

-Frankie, no.

NO-O-O!

This is all my fault.

I'm so sorry, Frankie.

How am I ever going to explain this to Pop?

Oh, no!

Ah! Back up! I'm crazy. I'm tripping!

(KUNG-FU NOISES)

(BOTH GASP)

Ow! What the...?!

(ALL SCREAM)

-(ALL SCREAM)

-Don't hurt us!

We're sorry. It was all Ernie's idea.

Oscar, did you kill that shark?

Er, yeah, yeah. Exactly how it look, that's how it is.

-What happened?

-You wanna know what happened?

-Yeah, you are standing on top of a shark.

-Go on, man.

Well, I'll tell you what happened.

Big old shark, about 75, 100 feet long.

-So he's swimming at me, right?

-(CROWD GASP)

-With teeth like razors.

-Oh, razors, ha!

I was all like, "You gonna come at me like that?

"You gonna come at the O like that?"

Hey, do the muscle thing.

Oh, right. So I told that dude, I said, "You see this guy?"

And I pointed like this. "He's got a brother and he lives over here.

-"I think it's time for a little..."

-(ALL) ..family reunion.

Ha-ha-ha!

-See, man, I told you.

-Excuse me. Pardon me.

-Move it!

-Sorry.

She seems so nice on TV.

Katie Current. As the first fish in history to take on a shark and win,

does this mean you're now protector of the reef, new sheriff in town?

-Katie, I'm gonna keep it real. I can call you, Katie, right?

-Of course.

'Any shark to try to mess around in Oscar Town is going down!

-'Yeah, it's poetic in the heat, I get poetic.'

-Oscar.

Hmm, Oscar.

OK, get outta here, you barracudas. Questions will be fielded by me.

-And you are?

-I'm his manager. Sykes, with a Y.

And I'm his financial advisor.

You wanna see my puppets?

Hello.

Could you excuse us for a moment, please?

-My manager?

-You're a superstar. We'll make a fortune. Let me handle it.

-What about the five G's?

-Forget the five G's. We're partners.

-What are we talking about?

-I'm thinking 90-10 split.

-Pretty generous.

-You're the 10.

-I don't think so.

-Talk to me.

-You get 15.

-70.

-20.

-75.

-Dude, you're going the wrong way.

-(BOTH) 50-50!

-You happy?

-No. You happy?

-No.

-(BOTH) Deal!

My manager and I are now prepared to take your questions.

Are you going to continue working here at the Wash?

-Please, I barely work here now.

-(LAUGHTER)

-Keep it up. You're slaying them.

-No, he's slaying sharks.

Hey, that's good. That's good. I like that. Oscar the Sharkslayer.

Whoa, a Sharkslayer!

'You heard it here first.

'From now on,

'any shark tries to bother this reef, it's his funeral.'

MUSIC: "Wind Beneath My Wings"

(CHANT LATIN PRAYER)

# I could fly higher than an eagle

# If you are the wind beneath my wings... #

(COUGHS)

-Frankie, we'll miss you.

-(ALL) To Frankie.

It's a terrible thing, Don Lino.

Everybody loved Frankie.

May whoever did this die a thousand deaths.

May his stinking, maggot-covered corpse rot in the depths of hell.

Thank you for your kind thoughts, Giuseppe.

Oh, and may Lenny be found safe and sound, too.

Hope he's OK.

-Oh, Lenny.

-Don't worry, boss.

I said some things to him. We gotta find him.

We're searching everywhere. Forget about it. He'll turn up.

What's wrong with that kid? Why's he gotta be so different?

Frankie, God rest his soul, he was perfect.

Perfect. Oh, Luca.

Who could have done this?

(COUGHS) Don Lino,

at this most difficult time, please accept my deepest condolences.

Thank you, Don Feinberg, for honouring my son with your song.

I got some news about the guy who took out Frankie.

(PARPS)

Let's, er... Yeah, let's talk over here.

He come out of nowhere, this guy,

calls himself "The Sharkslayer".

-Ira, over here.

-Sorry. The Sharkslayer.

-Where do I find him?

-He's from the Southside Reef.

That's all we could dig up.

Thank you. Thank you.

-Any requests?

-Luca?

-How about that Titanic song?

-No!

Get Sykes. He knows the reef better than anybody. I wanna find this guy.

I wanna know everything about him, where he lives, where he sleeps.

He pops a gill, I wanna know about it. Who is the Sharkslayer?

'Here he is! The Sharkslayer!'

MUSIC: "Got To Be Real"

# I think I love you, baby

# What you feel now

# I think I need you, baby

# What you know now

# To be real

# Your love's for real now

# You know that your love and my love

-# My love is here to stay... #

-Let's get this party started!

# What you think

# What you feel now... #

-There he is, the Big O.

-Sykes.

Pound that, dog. Pound it.

Oscar, raise the reef. Raise the reef, buddy.

-Er,... yeah.

-Oh, yeah. Hot. (HISSES)

-That's pretty...

-Come on, cabbage patch.

-Angie, you made it.

-Wait. You're gonna break my gift.

You didn't have to get me anything. What did you get me?

What does every bachelor pad need, huh?

A lava lamp?! How did you know I love lava lamps?

I'm gonna put it right here next to my other one.

Hey, come on, Angie. I wanna show you the best thing about this place.

Wow!

-How great is this view?

-Top of the reef.

-It's... It's amazing.

-I know.

-It's beautiful, right?

-Like you.

Like your...new apartment. It's... Wow! Awesome! (GIGGLES)

What I'm trying to say is that I'm proud of you, Oscar.

Yeah, it was nothing, really, you know.

Hey. Oh, you know what?! Wait right here. Don't move. I'll be right back.

Girl, you are gonna flip.

-Boo! I'm back!

-Oh, you are back!

You know what, Angie,

where I am right now, this new life I've got, all my dreams coming true,

in a weird kinda way,

I never could have done it without you.

Oh, sure, you could. Well, probably not. (GIGGLES)

Ange...

here.

-Oh, Oscar.

-I know. I know.

-I'm just sorry that it took so long.

-That's OK.

Bam! Huh?

-My grandmother's pearl.

-Po-Po-Po-Po-Pop.

With interest. Now, I don't forget anything

-and I never forget who my friends are.

-Oh. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

(LAUGHS)

-Ange. I...

-Oh, hi.

-I'm not interrupting something, am I?

-No.

-Yes.

-Hey, Lola. Wow, you're here.

-(COUGHS)

Oh, you gotta come best my meet friend Angie.

Er, eat my best, my men, Wangie.

Oh, best friend. Oh, that's sweet.

So you won't mind if I steal him for a while, will you?

-So, look who's a somebody after all!

-Well, you know...

-(RUMBLE)

-Sharks!

-On the edge of the reef. T-They're great whites!

-(SCREAMING)

Go home to your loved ones, spend the last few hours you have...

with each other!

Oh!

I mean, ah-ha, that's the way it used to be around here.

We'd have been all scrambling for cover.

-But not since Oscar came to town.

-(CHEERING)

So Lola, baby, just wait here and I'll be right back.

-I am gonna take care of the sharks.

-Go get 'em, tiger!

Woo! Biceps, triceps. Ha-ha-ha. (GROWLS)

-Oscar! You the fish!

-Go get 'em, Oscar!

(GROWLS)

(WHIMPERS)

Lenny!

Where the heck is he? Lenny?!

What are you doing? There's a Sharkslayer. You wanna be next?

Oh, yeah. (Lenny! Lenny!)

Phew! That was close.

Super close.

Don't panic.

(MUFFLED SCREAM)

-(Quiet!) Ah-ah-ah! We're safe.

-Oh, no. Not you again!

-Yeah.

-Ah! What was that?

-Yo, what is with you, man?

-Shhh! He could be anywhere.

-Who?

-Shhh!

-The Sharkslayer.

-There's no Sharkslayer out here.

(LAUGHS) Yes, there is.

(LAUGHS) No, there is not. Trust me on this one.

This is no time to act crazy.

You're the one acting crazy, crazy.

You're right. You're right. I'm sorry.

I haven't been myself since the, er...

Oh, don't cry...

(CRIES)

No, just...it's not all that! Just relax!

-It's my fault, kinda, not really, but still... My brother!

-OK, um...

-You just need a little time. Things will work out.

-You think?

-Yeah!

-So, look, um, I'm gonna take off, and you should just go home, OK?

-OK.

-All right. Hey, good luck, dog!

-Wait!

-What, man?

-Er, I didn't catch your name.

-Agh! Oscar.

-I'm Lenny. Hi.

-Hi!

-Where... Where do you live?

-Lenny, where I come from,

-fish don't like to get grabbed by sharks, OK?

-Sorry.

-Now go home!

There is no home for me any more, don't you understand?

-You're too big to be grabbing me!

-Take me home with you!

You won't notice I'm there, I'm like the invisible shark!

-Are you crazy?

-Please, I'm begging you, don't leave me alone!

-Sh!

-Yo, put your fins on the wall where I can see them!

-Oooh!

-Sh!

-Gotcha!

-Frankie, yo!

-Shorty!

-(ALL) Oscar!

-What are you doing here?

-Check it out!

-Check it out!

-(ALL) Whoomp! There it is!

-How do ya like that?

-Hey, y'all kids got some skills!

-It's wild-style!

-(ALL) Mmm-hmm!

-Er, oh, what did I tell you?

You kids shouldn't be doing this! And it's not safe out here at night!

-It is now, bro-bro! You da Sharkslayer!

-Yeah!

-Sharkslayer?

-(COUGHS)

Sometimes I be coughing for nothing! Look, I need you off these streets!

Get home! I'll tell your moms you're doing bad stuff!

-Hey, let's go make Mr Sykes puff up!

-(BOTH) Yeah! Bye!

-Bye, Oscar!

Lenny! Did you see what just happened there?

I know, they think you're the Sharkslayer! As if! (LAUGHS)

-I don't appreciate your funky tone, actually!

-No, wait up! Hey!

I'm sorry, seriously. I don't want you mad at me

and I certainly don't want you to slay me! (LAUGHS)

-You're having a good time, huh? You're enjoying yourself?

-(LAUGHS)

Well, for your information, I am the Sharkslayer!

Oscar the Sharkslayer! That's what people have been saying!

-Wait, you mean, you?

-Yeah.

When the anchor...

-(GASPS) Oh, you're a liar!

-Wait, no, hey! I didn't lie, all right?

OK, I lied. But it was a little lie, come on! Who's it gonna hurt?

-I'm not explaining myself to you. You're on your own!

-No problem!

And if, God forbid, someone should, well, I don't know,

find out the truth about the Sharkslayer on my way back...

-You wouldn't!

-I would.

Oh! (SIGHS) Come here!

Of course you can come with me!

But, you know, I mean, you're a shark, right?

And I'm a Sharkslayer, so we can't be seen together.

-You dig, dog?

-Dig! Dog. Dog, dig, dig, dog.

-Yeah! Yo, diggy dog!

-Just come on!

OK, Lenny, follow my every move and don't make a sound!

-You got it! Oooh, echo! Echo!

-(ECHOES)

-Riding for the Southside Sharks, number 15...

-(THUD!)

-Ow!

-It's not OK to hit!

-(ECHOES)

(HIP-HOP MUSIC)

-(SIREN WAILS)

-# Ain't nothing to it

# If you wanna get down We can do it, do it

-# Ain't nothing to it, get out your seat

-Why?

-You ain't glued to it

# Be easy and watch that tone

# Keep steppin' with your new suede shoes on

# Boys and girls Let's all sing along

# Everybody Just get on the good foot

-# Oh, whoa, whoo-ooh

-Get on the good foot

-# Oh, whoa, whoo-ooh... #

-Ooo-eee!

-Sh!

Ow! Aaaargh!

(LAUGHS) Agh!

(CRASH!) Oh, get your tail in there!

-Do you think anybody heard that?

-(THUD!)

-Ooh! (LAUGHS) Ow!

-Who was that? Huh, who? Hey! Who was that there?

-Yo! Crazy Joe!

I thought I heard something! Did you get that shark?

-Oh, you have no idea, Joe!

-(LAUGHS)

That's great! Well, gotta go! My show's on!

-MUSIC: "Benny Hill" chase music

-(LAUGHS)

All right, we're safe...for now.

Ah! Hey, a bed! Oh! Oh, yeah, that's good!

Oh, that's heaven, yeah! Oh, snuggley, buggley, wuggley!

-I love you, man!

-Whoa, hold up!

-You're my new best friend!

-Agh! Stop it!

OK, you wanna be friends? Fine. But we gotta lay down some rules.

Rule number one, no snuggley, buggley... Whatever that just was!

-You got it. Anything else?

-Rule number two, the most important rule.

-In the event that possibly, you get hungry...

-Don't worry.

I'm not gonna eat anyone. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm different.

Let's put it that way, leave it at that. Good night.

-Define different.

-You'll laugh.

-I'm not gonna laugh!

-That's just what you say. What happens later? You laugh.

-I promise.

OK, I will tell you.

I'm, er... I'm a vegetarian.

(CLEARS THROAT) Hold up.

(EXHALES) So, that's it? (SNIGGERS)

What do you mean, that's it? You're the first fish I ever told!

I'm so tired of keeping it all a secret!

-And my dad...

-Whoa, hey!

-..he'll never accept me for who I am!

-What's wrong with me?

-Nothing is wrong with you, man!

-I think all sharks should be like you.

-God, that's sweet of you to say!

-And stop blaming yourself for what happened.

-Really?

If you wanna blame anybody, blame me.

-If I hadn't been out there, none of this would have happened!

-Yeah.

Gee, if Pop knew that, he'd ice you for sure!

-(LAUGHS) Ice? What is he, The Godfather or something?

-Yeah.

-What do you mean, yeah?

-Yeah, he is.

-Hey, are you all right?

-(CRACK!)

-Agh!

-(LAUGHS)

-Oh, man! I told you!

-I'm doing it!

-X, circle, double left square, right trigger, double square!

-Oh! Respect.

-Respect!

-Well, I got news for you! The Sharkslayer made me his manager

so I'm now what I like to call untouchable. You hear me?

-Sykes!

-Hey, Oscar!

-Hey, there, man!

-Ow! Hey, Sykes!

-There his is! My brother, my player, the Sharkslayer!

-Whatever. Listen...

-Another thing, you'll have to pay me protection!

Sykes, the deal is off! The shark I killed was Don Lino's son!

-Ain't it great?

-Not if he finds out!

-What? He's on the phone right now!

That's right, Lino, I've got the Sharkslayer right in front of me!

-And he's gonna slay you and all your sharks!

-Sykes! Shut up! Shut up!

-Hey, hey, that's good, I like that! Shut up, Lino! Ha! Shut up!

-(SIGHS)

-What? Kid, he wants to talk to you.

-(I'm not here!)

-Yeah, he's right here.

-Hellooo!

-Shut up? Shut up? You don't tell me shut up, I tell you shut up!

-(BEEP!)

-What? Hello?

-Hi! Let me have a pie with everything on it.

-Anchovies, meatballs, mushrooms...

-Luca!

-Oh, hi, boss!

-What are you doing working in a pizza joint?

-Get off the phone!

-But I'm hungry!

-(SIGHS)

My guys are coming for you, Sharkslayer.

They're gonna tear you fin from fin!

Come on, now! Who's your Puff Daddy? Who takes care of you, huh? Huh?

-Come on, you two, we got work to do!

-(BOTH) Oh!

-Man, I was winning!

-Sykes, you got it all wrong!

-They'll write songs about you!

-# Oh, the shark bites with his teeth, dear... #

-Sykes!

-# Then Oscar kicked his butt... #

-Sykes, Sykes! Man! Come on!

-Maybe I can help.

-Oooh, hey, Lola!

What are you doing here? You just keep popping up in places!

-Well, you said to wait, so, er, I've been waiting.

-(SLOW MUSIC PLAYS)

Er, look, I don't have a lot of time for the whole hand-clappy,

making-the-lights-go-off, music-playing-in-the-dark thing.

-What are you afraid of?

-Afraid? (LAUGHS) Yeah, that's funny!

-I ain't afraid of nothing, it's just that... Oooh!

-Baby, you are so tense!

You know, I've really been stressed lately, protecting the reef.

I do that by myself, you know. It's just... It's crazy!

-It's just too much! It's piling on!

-Yeah, one thing on top of the other!

-Actually, I was thinking about retiring.

-You don't wanna do that.

-I don't?

-You have worked your way to the top.

You don't wanna go back to the bottom, do you?

No! No. No way!

You just show 'em who's boss and those sharks will leave you alone.

Yeah, you're right! (Lenny!)

Psst! (Lenny, where are you?)

-Hello, Oscar!

-Aaargh!

Angie, hey! What are you doing here? You...

-What, Oscar, did you forget something?

-Um...

Oh, maybe you forgot...your shark!

(SLURPS) Hi.

Er...shark! Swim, Angie! I'll cover you! Quick, before it's too late!

-Go on without me!

-Oh, stop it! Your pet shark here told me everything.

-Lenny, why would you do that?

-I don't know, I like her.

Thank you, I like you too. What were you thinking,

-bringing him in here?

-I just... I'm still working out the kinks!

-Kinks?

You lied! Everybody thinks you slayed the shark!

-Who am I to tell them that they're wrong?

-How could you lie to me? Me?

Don't take it personally, I lied to everybody!

All right, look, I'm sorry. I... I totally betrayed you,

b-but, listen, I've got just one... little problem I gotta take care of.

-Oh, what's that?

-SHARKS ARE COMING TO GET ME!

What d'you expect? You just take credit for killin' a shark

and then everything'll be fine and dandy for the rest of your life?!

Er...yeah. But, hey, look, don't you worry about it.

-Me and Lenny got it. We're gonna fix it.

-What's with the "we"?

-I want no part of this.

-Too late, veggie boy. They're after you too.

-Point taken. What's the plan?

-All right...

Oscar! Here's the plan - you tell the truth and you go home.

(BOTH LAUGH)

All right, this is what we're gonna do.

We're gonna paint you up all bloody, right? And you're gonna swim out

and meet the sharks. And you're gonna say, "STOP!

"Don't go no further! That Sharkslayer's crazy, man!

"He beat me senseless! He's a stone-cold killer, man!"

And you can tell 'em I'm huge. Tell 'em that I'm handsome.

-(SIGHS) You're goin' way too far, Oscar!

-Actually,

-he hasn't gone far enough.

-Exactly!

-What?

-You need to slay a shark

and I need to disappear. Here's what we're gonna do.

'This is Katie Current. We've had unconfirmed reports...'

(ALL SCREAM)

(HUMS JAWS THEME TUNE)

(MUSIC BUILDS)

-'Da, da, daaaaaaaa!

-Look, it's the Sharkslayer!'

(GROANS)

(CHUCKLES) Raaah!

-Da, da, daaaaaaaa!

-(SNARLS)

-Ow!

-'Holy mackerel!

-'Did we get that?!'

-Hey, Ange, Oscar's on the TV!

-'Show me that. All right, go ahead with your bad stuff.'

-Uch!

Do you hear them? They are going crazy, man! They love us!

They love you, they hate me.

-What?!

-Maybe I can be the Fishslayer. They'll never see it comin'.

Look, you sell this, you'll never have to go home again.

-You can start a new life! Now, give me a growl.

-OK. Grr...

Grrrrrrr! (CLEARS THROAT)

Raaaaaaaaaaah!

-Like that?

-That was...pretty good. Let's go!

'Raaaah!'

Is that all?! Do you understand how huge my client is?!

-Turn on your TV right now!

-Raaaah!

Lenny! Lenny! Lenny! Lenny, wait!

-(ALL GASP)

-Turn off your TV! Turn off your TV!

-(ALL SCREAM)

-Don't...swallow.

-Oscar?

-No, it's Pinocchio(!)

-Of course it's me! Why did you do that?!

-I'm sorry.

No, no, sorry is when you step on somebody's fin at the movie theatre.

Sorry is when you say, "Hey, when's the baby due?" and it turns out

the person's just fat! This is as far away from sorry

-as you could possibly get!

-Oscar, I think I'm gonna puke.

-(RETCHES)

-No, no, no, no! Lenny, just open up.

Nice and easy.

-Raarh!

-(ALL GASP)

-Raaaaarh!

-(ALL CHEER)

-Are you not entertained?!

-(ALL CHEER)

You can't handle the truth!

-(ALL CHEER)

-You had me at hello!

Turn your TV back on! What are you doing turning your TV off?!

-Yippee-ai-ay!

-(ALL CHEER)

# A little less conversation A little more action, please

# All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me

# A little more bite and a little less bark

# A little less fight and a little more spark

# Close your mouth and open up your heart... #

This reef is huge. How are we supposed to find the Sharkslayer?

Raaaaaaarh!

(ALL CHEER)

This is it, Lenny! Big finish, just like we practised!

-The flying fish?

-The flying fish!

-(STRAINS) A little help here, buddy boy.

-Sorry.

Thank you.

# A little less conversation A little more action, please

# All this aggravation ain't satisfactioning me... #

-(CRASH!)

-Aaaaarh!

Damn you, Sharkslaye-e-e-e-e-er!

Aaaaaaarh!

(SCREAM ECHOES)

Ugh!

Yeah, and you tell Don Lame-O

that I don't never ever, ever, ever, ever never

wanna see another shark on this reef again!

-Ever!

-(GASPS)

Remember this name - Oscar the Sharkslayer!

-Ah-hah! You see?! You see?!

-(ALL CHANT) Oscar, boma ye!

Yeah! Yeah!

Ahh! Oh, look at Oscar! Oscar, boma ye!

Oscar, boma ye! Whoo! Hey, Lo...

'He not only conquered a few sharks today...'

-(GASPS)

-'..but maybe a few hearts. Has our most eligible bachelor

'been snapped up? I'm Katie Current, here live,

'watching the Sharkslayer making out.'

Hey, Angie, can you hand me the blue one?

Thank you.

Look who stepped in the room! (LAUGHS)

-Hoh, hoh, hoh, yeah!

-What a team, baby! Ugh!

-Gimme some fin!

-High fin, low fin!

-(LAUGHS)

-Yo, did you see me?! I was like, "Wakayai! Wakakakai!"

-I was crazy!

-When you punched me and the crowd went, "Aaaaarh!"

Yeah! Hey, Angie, Angie, you ain't know I had it in me, did you?!

-It was like an Oscar-splosion!

-How good was I?

-You was the BOMB!

Thank you, thank you. And, hey, hey, hey, Casanova!

I saw your big finish on the news. Nice smooch, lover boy!

Ixnay on the isskay, man. That's private.

-Private?! The entire reef saw you do it!

-Hey, whoa!

-Somebody's in a bad mood! C'mon, let me see the smile.

-Knock it off!

-What has gotten into you?

-Me?! Oh, I swear,

sometimes I wanna take your big dumb...dummy head and...

-What is the problem?

-Problem?! There's no problem!

I don't have any problem! Miss Perfect is the one with the problem!

-Guys...

-What have you got against Lola?

-Not my lips, that's for sure.

-OK, what's goin' on?

-I'm gonna stay outta this.

-Why would you even care about Lola?

-I don't!

-You don't?

-No.

-No what?!

-I don't know!

-You guys, you wanna...

-(BOTH) NO!

Tell me, Oscar, cos I'm curious.

Why do you think she's interested, huh? Do you think

that she would even be with you if you weren't the Sharkslayer?!

-Don't fight.

-Are you blind?!

-She treats me like I'm somebody!

-Would she love you as a nobody?

-Nobody loved me when I was nobody!

-I did!

Before the money... and before the fame.

Before the lie.

To me, you WERE a somebody, Oscar.

Now you're nothing...but a fake.

A sham. A con.

You're a joke.

Here I come. Ta-daaaa!

# Sebastian, the whale-washing dolphin! #

-Angie...

-No, forget it! Just go...cos I'm tired of hearing

how everything you had in your life wasn't good enough!

Including me.

(SIGHS)

-Angie?

-Oh, honey, I'm... I'm sorry.

Go back and do it again.

Hey, c'mon.

It'll be OK.

MUSIC: "Get It Together" by India Arie

# One shot to your heart without breaking your skin

# No-one has the power to hurt you like your kin

# Kept it inside Didn't tell no-one else

# Didn't even wanna admit it to yourself

# And now you only have yourself to blame

# If you continue

# To live this way

-# Get it together

-You wanna heal your body

-# Get it together

-You have to heal your heart

# Whatsoever

# You sow, you will reap

# Get it together... #

It's past your bedtime! Go on, go on!

Hey, hey, hey, what are you kids up to?!

That looks good. You guys should do this for a livin'!

# Hoo, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

# You can fly, fly, fly, fly

# You can live or you can die

# You know that life is a choice you make

# You can give or you can take

# You can fly, fly, fly, fly

-# You can fly, fly, fly, fly... #

-< Preparation O!

It slays haemorrhoids like Oscar slays sharks! Oh, hey, Oscar.

Preparation O!

Angie was right. I am a joke.

(SIGHS) Hey, Sharkslayer.

Why are you out here? All your friends are inside.

-Not all my friends.

-You mean that little bottom feeder

from the Whale Wash? Forget about her. She's a nobody.

No...I'm the nobody.

(LAUGHS) Oh, let me guess.

She told you that she loves you. Is that it?

(LAUGHS) I mean, it's not like you feel the same way about her.

-You know what? I don't think this is gonna work out.

-Wait.

Are you dumping me?

-(GASPS)

-Let me explain something to you.

-# We're gonna party like it's your birthday... #

-(THUDDING)

-Hah! Young love!

-(ALL LAUGH)

(WHIMPERS)

MUSIC: "I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch)" by The Four Tops

# Sugar pie honey bunch

# You know that I love you

# I can't help myself

-# I love you and nobody else... #

-Hey, Oscar!

I can't talk, I gotta find Angie!

I need to tell her...I LOVE HER!

# You come and you go... #

-Way to go, Oscar!

-(PHONE RINGS)

-Whale Wash...

-Give me the phone. Where you get a whale of a wash...

Give me back the phone. And the price is very, very low,

-considerin' how good the wash is.

-Good one.

It's, "Gosh, you get a whale of a wash and the price, oh, my gosh!"

-(PHONE)

-All right. Me get it, man.

-Whale Wash.

-Rhymes with gosh.

-(BOTH LAUGH)

Give me that! Get outta here, both of ya!

-Sykes, where's Angie? (PHONE RINGS)

-You tell me. Whale Wash. You...

-Oh. It's for you.

-Huh?

-Hello?

-'Is this the Sharkslayer?'

-Yeah. Who's this?

It's Luca the octo... I mean... Forget about it.

Now, you follow these instructions to the letter, OK?

File cabinet, top drawer, there's a package. Get it.

'That's right, tough guy, we got your girl.

-'Now, there's gonna be a sit-down in one hour.'

-(Who is it?)

-(Ssh!)

-Be there if you don't wanna see her sleepin' with the fishes.

The dead ones. Now, nod your head if you understand.

Now tell me if you nodded your head.

I nodded.

They got Angie and they want a sit-down.

I never meant for anybody to get hurt, especially not Angie.

-This is all my fault.

-Ah, it's a classic move.

They take the thing you love the most and they use it against ya.

-We gotta go to that sit-down and we gotta save...

-Whoa, whoa, whoa! Look,

I can't just waltz in there and say,

-"Hi, Pop, I'm a dolphin!"

-Lenny?

-"And the Sharkslayer's a fake."

-Fake?!

-We're gonna need a better plan.

Oh! (LAUGHS) This is a joke, right? Because, you know, I told Lino...

-'Shut up, Lino! Shut up!'

-(GROWLS)

Tell me you didn't make it all up!

Tell me you're a real Sharkslayer!

I'm sorry, Sykes. I'm not.

But the sharks don't know that.

(GULPS)

-(GULPS)

-(HYPERVENTILATES)

(BOTH GASP)

-Grrrr!

-(ALL) Waah!

-(Stop foolin' around! This'll never work! We're dead!)

-(Ssh!)

(Thank you, Sykes. Thank you.)

And my man, Sykes, has just...begged me

not to murderlise all y'all up in here, all right?

Now, I might listen to him.

But then again I might not! And that depends on the individual behaviour

of all the individuals in here... individually. Ain't that right?

(He's got dolphin muscle.)

-(My uncle got whacked by one of those.)

-Which one of you sardines

-called this meetin'?

-That would be me.

So, this is the Sharkslayer? I've been lookin' forward to meetin' you.

I feel like we're practically family.

Funny, ain't it? I brought my kids into the world

full of love and care... and you took 'em out.

You know who I am? Do you know who I am?!

I'm the Don. The boss of the great white sharks.

Hey, boss, I saved you a seat.

I've been runnin' this reef since before you was born

and if you thought a guy like me can't get to a guy like you,

guess what? You thought wrong.

(MUFFLED SHOUTING)

-(GASPS)

-Man, you're the one who's wrong.

I barely even know that girl. What's your name, miss?

-(MUMBLES) Angie!

-Oh, yeah? Well, I say he's bluffing.

How ya doin', pretty lady?

-Urrgh.

-Lola,

-we meet again.

-You know, Sharkslayer,

there's only one thing I like better than money.

-Revenge!

-Oh, I'm in love!

Your shark-slayin' days are over

-and there ain't nothin' you can do about it.

-(CHUCKLES)

(LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)

-(LENNY AND SYKES LAUGH)

-(LAUGHS)

-Huh? What's so funny?

-Ow!

You got nothin'. Nothing!

-Sebastian, take her out!

-(MUFFLED SCREAM)

# Da, da, da, dun, da, da, da, dun Can't touch this

# Da, da, da, dun, da, da, da, dun Can't touch this!

# Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh! Stop! Oscar time! #

OK, new rules! Nobody,

I repeat, nobody makes a move without my OK. I am the Panama Canal, baby!

-From now on everything... (EXHALES) ..flows through me!

-Huh?!

-What'd he do?!

-You lose a tooth, you don't grow one back

-without my OK! OK?!

-OK.

-Atchoo!

-If you sneeze, you don't wipe that boogie without my OK! OK?!

-OK.

-All right. And you don't say OK

-without my OK! OK?!

-Ohh!

-(CLATTERING)

-Uh-oh! OK, thank you all for coming. We gotta go.

-Oh, one more thing.

-What is with all y'all livin' in the love boat?

-(Oscar!)

-Y'all supposed to be the Mob! Get yourselves a real hide-out!

-Oscar.

And take a good look, Lino. It's over!

-You're old school!

-(BOTH) Oscar!

-What?!

Mmf! BLEURGH!

< The horror!

The horror!

-Bleurgh! Mmf!

-(EMBARRASSED LAUGHTER)

Erm, excuse me.

-(Ange, are you OK?!)

-No, I am not OK!

-He...ate me!

-I couldn't take it.

-The taste was killin' me.

-Lenny?

-(GASPS)

Is that you?

-You're alive?

-Oh!

-I thought I lost you.

What are you wearin'? Huh? What is that?

-Oh! Oh-hoh!

-Hey, boss, it's Lenny! He was wearin' a disguise

so we wouldn't recognise him. But now he's not wearin' a disguise,

-so we do recognise him!

-Hi, Pop.

Are you kiddin' me? Are you kiddin' me?! Are you outta your mind?!

-Do you have any idea how this looks?!

-(This is the best sit-down

-(I've ever been to.)

-What are you doin' with this guy? He took out

-your own flesh and blood!

-But, Pop...

-But nothin'!

You never take sides against the family! Ever!

Hey, Don, Lino, sir, listen. I-It's not his fault.

-Th-This is between you and me.

-What did I ever do to you?!

You took Frankie away and you turned Lenny into a dolphin!

-I'm gonna get you!

-Aaarh!

-Oscar, look out!

-Oscar, swim! Swim for your life!

-(CRASH!)

-(ROARS)

-Aarh!

-You're gonna regret the day you became the Sharkslayer!

Oh, oh, well, look who's stuck in the porthole!

-Huh?

-It's the hungry big guy!

Well, say hello to my little friends!

(MAKES SOUND OF BUGLE)

-Aaaaaaargh!

-(LAUGHS)

-Try it again.

-Whale Wash.

-You'll get a whale of a wash and the price... Oh, my gosh!

-All right!

-You got it right!

-Move! Everybody out of the way!

-(BOTH) Waaah!

-(ALL SCREAM)

C'mon, Lino, it's time to clean up your act.

-Waaaah!

-Pop, leave him alone!

Waah!

All right, Lino, game's over!

Agh! Oof!

-Lenny, what are you doin' in there?!

-Sorry.

-Where's Lino?!