The Magic Roundabout

Uhh!

Wahhhhh! Agh!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Aghhhh!

Zeebad!

SIGHS: Only a bad dream.

Everything seems fine. HE LAUGHS

MUSIC: "Magic" by Pilot

# Oh, ho, ho, it's magic

# You know

# Never believe it's not so

# It's magic

# You know

# Never believe it's not so

# Never been awake

# Never seen a daybreak

# Leaning on my pillow in the morning

# Lazy day in bed

# Music in my head

# Crazy music playing in the morning light

# Oh, ho, ho, it's magic

# You know

# Never believe it's not so

# It's magic

# You know

# Never believe it's not so

# I love a sunny day

# Dream of far away

# Dreaming on my pillow in the morning

# Never been awake

# Never seen a daybreak

# Leaning on my pillow in the morning light. #

Ooh!

HE GASPS

Oh, I'm going to be late!

DISTANT VOICES

# La-la-la-la-la-la-la

# La-la-la-la-la-la-la

# La-la-la-lee-la-la-la

# La-la-la... # Eek! Ooh.

-Dougal!

-Ooh.

Dougal! I knew you'd make it.

-You're just in time for the concert.

-Yes, Florence, of course.

-Wouldn't miss it for the world.

-You don't get a sugar lump for coming.

Sugar? Who needs sugar?

Not me, I quit. This morning!

-Hm, I'll believe that when I see it.

-GUITAR PLAYS

-I think Ermintrude's about to begin.

-Oh, no!

-Be brave.

HIGH-PITCHED HUMMING

-Florence!

-Shh!

ERMINTRUDE SINGS TOREADOR SONG FROM CARMEN

SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

Wah! HE PLAYS ROCK MUSIC

# Girl, you really got me going

# You got me so I don't know what I'm doing

# Yeah, you really got me now

# You got me so I can't sleep at night

-Go, baby!

-# Ooh, yeah

-# You really got me now

-Whoo-hoo!

# You got me so I don't know what I'm doing

-# Oh, yeah, you really got me now...

-Hm?

# You got me so I can't sleep at night

# You really got me You really got me

# You really got me...

D'ya know what I mean?

# See, don't ever set me free

BOTH: # I always wanna be by your side

# La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

# Girl, you really got me now

BOTH: # You got me so I can't sleep at night

-Take it out. Oh!

-# Yeah

# You really got me now, you got me so I don't know what I'm doing

BOTH: # Oh, yeah, you really got me now

# You got me so I can't sleep at night

# You really got me You really got me

-# You really got me

-Y'know, you really got me

Ohhhh!

-You groove me. Oh, you do, darling.

-# You really got me

-# You really got me

-Yeah, baby!

# You really got me You really got me

-Milk it, Ermin!

-# Oh, yeahhhhhh. #

Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

What an unforeseeable accident. That's not an easy fix, that.

We're looking at a multiple abrasion friction gash.

I did not know you were a qualified mechanic, Dougal.

Of course! If you bring me an air pump, some glue, four watermelons,

water-skis, a trombone and a pack of gobstoppers, I may be able to help.

I am lucky you were here.

-Will you take care of my things?

-Oh, I'll take care of them all right.

Mmmm...I think I'll take care of those lollipops first

and then, ooh, those sherbets and, ohh-ooh-ooh, those caramel creams.

HE SNIFFS

Wahhh! Aghhhh!

-Thank you. Thank you.

-Encore! Encore!

Thank you. So sweet.

-Now, for my next number, I shall...

-Wahhhhh!

Agh! Agh! Agh!

Oooh! Oooh! Wahhhhh!

GIRL SCREAMS

Get me off! How do I stop this thing?!

-Please, help me!

-SHE SCREAMS

Ooh!

Agh! Agh! Help! Wahhhh!

-He's always got to make a big entrance.

-BANG!

-HE GASPS

-Oh, dear. That's not good.

SCREAMING

-Hold on tight, children!

-BOTH: Help!

-Mr Rusty!

-Whoa! Ooh!

Quick! Turn it off!

Oh, my goodness! It's out of control!

MENACING LAUGHTER

Ooh! Wh-what's happening?

-This is too Wagnerian for words.

-Oh, Florence!

-What was that?

-Bad trip!

Puccini preserve us! What's happened to the roundabout?

Uh! Oh, no! What's happening?

-Florence! Are you all right?

-Dougal, I'm cold!

Don't worry, we'll get you out of there.

What on earth shall we do?

ALL: Zebedee! Zebedee! Zebedee!

-Zebedee, thank goodness.

-Whatever's the matter, my friends?

-Something awful has happened.

-Look.

Oh, no! I hoped this day would never come.

What, Tuesdays? But Tuesdays are great!

-On Tuesdays we make cake.

-No, Dougal, the day Zeebad escapes.

-Zeebad? I thought that was just a shaggy-dog story.

-I'm afraid not.

He's all too real. Cold-hearted, tyrannous and cruel.

For thousands of years he kept our world bound in ice.

EVIL LAUGHTER

And now you've released him,

he's free to wield his terrifying power once more.

SNIFFS

GRUNTS

SNIFFS

WHIMPERS

ZEEBAD LAUGHS MENACINGLY

Ooooh! Free, at last.

It took 10,000 years

but the best things are worth waiting for -

power, revenge

and, er...more power!

-Grr!

-HE LAUGHS

HE GASPS

Cold, but not cold enough for my liking.

Ha-ha! Soon it'll be nice and frozen everywhere,

just like it was before Zebedee ruined everything.

Now, where to begin...

Eh?

Ah, what's this?

Oooh, just what I need.

A henchman!

Today, one soldier, tomorrow, the world!

And then, perhaps, three more soldiers.

-HE LAUGHS

-Ooh. Focus, Zeebad.

Focus!

I've done it. A lean, mean, fighting machine

who'll obey my every command.

Eyes right! Quick march!

# He's a lean, mean fighting machine

# The real team You know what I mean

# Marching along And he will take you on

# Watch out, here he comes He's a fighting machine. #

Agh!

CLANG!

Attention!

-Name.

-Sergeant Sam, first decorative clockwork regiment, sir!

Good. From now on, your mission is to help me recover

-three diamonds taken from me by a treacherous thief.

-Oh.

The road will be hard.

Pain, misery and torment will be your constant companion.

And your only release

-will be death.

-HE GULPS

Oh. Er...can I ask about holidays?

-Three weeks in summer.

-Very generous, sir.

Not that it will ever be summer again.

Oh.

Now, let's see what that worm Zebedee is up to.

Well, well. He's got some little friends, has he?

I'll soon see to them.

To my old lair. We shall plan our line of attack.

Only by returning the enchanted diamonds

to their original places on the roundabout will you defeat Zeebad.

But if he finds them first, he will use them

to freeze the sun. ALL: Oh!

Nothing will grow, not even grass. SNORING

Ugh! OK, people, we've got a problem.

One of the diamonds is hidden here on the roundabout.

I must stay behind to guard it. To find the other two,

you will need this map.

You must head north into the mountains. There is no time to waste.

-Whoa!

-Well, I hope you've supplied us

with an appropriate mode of transportation.

-'Whoops!'

-Back up.

-It's hardly the Orient Express, darling.

-Does it have first class?

-'What?!'

Take good care of this little box of tricks.

It may save you in your hour of need.

Florence, hold on. I'll be back.

-I promise.

-Don't be too long.

Whatever happens, you mustn't blame yourself.

-No, leave that to us.

-All aboard!

Don't worry, children, our friends will save us.

-TRAIN

-'Steam check, furnace check, pistons check! Whey-hey!

'Sorry. Passengers. I forgot the passengers.

'Hello, trees.

'Hello, birds. Hello, scary freezing mist.

'Oh, dear. Lucky they can't hear me.

'Wouldn't want them thinking I'm a scaredy train or anything.'

Oh, Florence...

'I wonder where we're going. I wonder if they know.

'I wonder if they know I don't know. What a ridiculous train of thought!'

-Dougal.

-Yeah?

-You mustn't feel guilty just because it's all your fault.

-Me?!

Sorry, didn't come out right.

My fault. What did I do?!

What, apart from wrecking the roundabout,

trapping Florence and the children and causing the escape of a maniac

-intent on freezing the sun?

-I only wanted to eat some sweeties.

Yeah, it starts with some sweets, man, and maybe an iced bun

and before you know it you're on two bags a day.

I know, man, I've been there.

-Maybe you've got, like, a problem, my furry friend.

-I have not!

I'll not rest until I've done everything in my power

to bake things right! I mean, make things right.

Goodness it's getting cold.

'Tell me about it. I'm freezing me nuts and bolts off here.'

I must say, you're all doing a wonderful job.

Keep up the good work!

What's for dinner, anyway? I'm famished.

Oh, I see. The silent treatment, is it?

Huh!

It's lucky I brought some secret supplies. Mm.

Ah, full moon.

They say the full moon puts people in the mood for romance.

Oh...

What a perfect venue for an open-air Verdi festival!

People would flock here. # La-la-la-la-la-la-la. #

Not even sheep would flock to that noise.

# La-la-la-lee-la-la-loo

# Ahhhh... #

Uh-oh.

That was a close shave.

Me gobstoppers! Oh, no! There's only one left!

It's time we all got some beauty sleep.

Dylan.

-Dylan!

-What? What?

-Bed time!

Jeez, thanks for waking me up to let me know.

-Someone should keep watch. I was thinking...

-Good of you to offer.

-What?

-Good night.

-Good night, darlings.

-Night-night, Ermindude.

-Eh? What?

-'Now for my impression of a sleeper train.'

-Wait! Wait!

Oh!

'Oh, no, I've run out of toothpaste.'

Why do I have to be the guard dog?

What's wrong with a guard snail or a guard cow or...?

-GRUNTING

-Who goes there? Friend or foe or...

moose? F-feeling a bit blue?

You're not the only one.

Ooh! Is this a friend of yours?

MENACING LAUGHTER

I'll take that as a no.

-Doogie!

-Dougal!

Dou...gal!

-Doogie, man! Here, Dougal.

-Here, Dougal.

Ooh. I've found a trail. Maybe it'll lead us to him.

Or maybe it'll lead us to that...

moose.

I think he's trying to tell us something.

Have you seen our friend Dougal? Big black nose,

-looks like a bad hair day on legs.

-MOOSE GRUNTS

You're wasting your time, Brian. Whoever heard of a talking moose?

'Says the opera-singing cow.'

GRUNTS

I think he wants us to follow him.

HE BELLOWS

Come on, as fast as you can.

SOLDIER HUMS

Now, you dim-witted draught-excluder,

-tell me everything.

-Well, I was a very happy puppy.

My first memories are of catching tennis balls with Florence.

-As I grew up...

-No, you follicly-enhanced freak,

tell me about the diamonds

or I'll make you wish you'd packed a pooper-scooper.

Me? I don't know anything. I don't even have the map.

So...there's a map, eh?

No, no, no! No map.

Of course they wouldn't trust YOU with it!

You're just a silly little dog. You'd probably bury it.

Or chew it!

So, who does have the map?

-Eh?

-I'll never tell.

Oh, no? Sam, stop mincing around with that duster!

Torture this boarding house for fleas until he tells us everything.

Yes, sir. Right, then, torture!

Look, this is all a bit new to me

so, erm, what is it you're most afraid of?

Erm... Hm.

Ooh, it won't be long now until I have my full powers back.

-Then I...

-Oh, no! No! No!

Ah. Good, Sam.

-Enjoy yourself.

-Please, no more!

-26.

-Oh! I can't stand it!

27? You can't possibly take much more of this.

-You've eaten 27 sugar cubes!

-You'll have to make me eat 100

before I tell you anything!

-HE LAUGHS

-Soon the diamonds will be mine

and I'll be able to turn this hideous green planet

-into a lovely frozen wasteland.

-This is terrible!

HE LAUGHS

-No, you mustn't!

-A little more.

-Ooh, don't, ya...

-I was just going to take...

-THUD!

-Eh?

Ooh! Ow! You're killing me!

EVIL LAUGH

Ooh.

-Agh!

-Ooh, that sounded painful.

Excellent work, Sam.

No! Leave me alone, you evil fiend!

What are you talking about? It's me, Ermintrude.

Could you come back in five minutes? I was starting to enjoy meself.

Oh, come on, Dougal!

Full steam backwards!

Finish him off, Sam. It's time we...

The dog! What have you done with him, you idiot?

Oh-h. Well, sir, I got flattened by a flying cow. Oh!

What?

-Not so fast.

-Ooh! Let go of my tail, you brute!

-Ermintrude!

-Oh, no.

-Pull faster!

Help!

-Agh!

-Owwww!

-Back it up, back it up.

-How nice of you to drop in.

Pull!

Sorry, can't stay long.

-Agh!

-'Uh-oh, whiplash.'

Hello. Ah, she looks a lot better from this angle.

She'll look a lot better when she's being served

with a side order of fries.

After them!

It's cold and very unpleasant. Where are we?

Keep going. Keep going.

-There must be another way.

-Yeah, man. Yeah, yeah.

Keep going, people. Whoa! Ooh.

-ALL SCREAM

-'I'm a train, not a snowboard!'

-# Ba-ba-ba-bom

-# We're spinning, spinning around

-# Ba-ba-ba-bom

-# We're spinning, spinning around

-# Ba-ba-ba-bom

-# We're spinning, spinning around

-# Ba-ba-ba-bom

-# We're spinning, spinning around

# Ohh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

# Bom-ba-ba-bom-bom-bom. #

'I was made to shunt, not to ski!'

Oh, man, that's...deep.

Oh! I think we've reached the end of the line.

You took the words right out of my mouth.

-Sam, your sword.

-Sir. On guard!

Hey, man, give peace a chance.

Nobody can save you now.

HE LAUGHS MENACINGLY

ALL: Zebedee! Zebedee! Zebedee!

-You!

-So, we meet again.

Indeed. I've waited 10,000 years for my revenge

and, as you know, revenge is a dish best served cold.

Some like it hot, Zeebad.

I've still got some spring in my step, Zeebad.

-ALL GASP

-Well done, Zebedee.

-Oh, no.

-TRAIN:

-Y'know, I think this spring is sprung.

Oi! Where do you think you lot are going?

Sam?

Sam, stop! Think about what you're doing!

It's not my job to think. I'm a soldier. I'm just following orders.

You may wear a soldier's uniform, Sam,

-but it's what's inside that counts.

-Zebedee, look out!

-Agh!

-Blimey.

Run! Run!

Come on, gang, here's our chance.

Ohh!

-Agh!

-'Move that moustache! Oops. Nearly a toothpick.'

Your days in the sun are over, Zebedee,

you benevolent bedspring.

Now it's time for Zeebad.

-Stop! Zebedee's in trouble!

-No! Save yourselves!

-What shall we do? What shall we do?

-Well, we can't leave him.

To the rescue!

You've got to find the diamonds!

Ah, so it ends,

my nemesis finally vanquished forever.

Get the diamonds...!

No-o-o-o!

We have no choice. We must leave now.

There's nothing more we can do here.

-Come on, Doog.

-Quick.

It's almost enough to make one weep.

-If only I wasn't so very, very happy!

-HE LAUGHS

Now nothing can stand in my way.

HE LAUGHS MANIACALLY

Oh.

Ho-ho-ho! Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

No, Sam, it's all in the back of the throat.

'Right now even if I could speak, I wouldn't know what to say.'

-I can't believe he's really gone.

-Zeb's dead, baby. Zeb's dead.

And now who's going to help Florence and the children?

-Who's going to help us?

-Be strong, Ermintrude.

We have to be brave and find the diamonds.

After all, that was Zebedee's dying wish.

It's no good, man. Without Zebedee, we're nothing.

SHE SIGHS

No. Brian's right. We're going to save our world.

Now, where's the map?

-There. Head for the tallest mountain in that range.

-That's the spirit!

Nothing but a sea of boiling lava will keep me from that diamond now.

Oh, sugar.

Well, that's where the diamond is. Who's going to get it?

Er, well, diamonds are a girl's best friend.

-Off you trot, Ermintrude.

-Men are supposed to give ladies diamonds.

I thought dogs were supposed to fetch.

My forte has always been, "Sit, Dougal."

That and, "Stay, Dougal, stay."

Dylan, surely it's only a short hop for such a brave bunny.

Or a long drop for a dumb rabbit.

Quiet!

Ahem. There's a bridge over there.

I think I ought to keep a look out here

-while you lot cross to the other side.

-'He's no dog, he's a chicken!'

All right, all right, I understand.

You don't want to go without your leader.

-'Talk about wag your own tail.'

-Ooh, I'm scared of heights!

'Don't worry about the heights, worry about the widths.

-'This is going to be easy.' Careful!

-Easy does it.

-We were close to the edge there!

-'Just don't look down.'

'Look straight ahead.'

-Whoa. Hot rocks, man.

-Keep your eyes on the road!

-What road, man?

-'I'm on it. Don't worry.'

What's happened? Why have we stopped?

'One step at a time.'

-'Oh!'

-Gently does it.

'There we go. This is going to be easy.

-'Agh!'

-BOTH: No-o-o!

TYRES SCREECH Agh.

-ALL SCREAM

-Dylan, do something!

'Can't one of you hop out and push?

-Whoa, I'm totally not train trained!

-'That's not helping!'

Dylan!

ALL: Oh!

'Ah, for a nice shiny can of warm oil.

'No need to panic.

'Now. Now is a good time to panic. Move it!'

Rock and roll, man.

-Brilliant.

-'That's it, I've had it with public transport.'

-ERMINTRUDE GASPS

-The diamond!

-Wow!

And there you have it. I have led you all to the first diamond.

-Wow!

-Dylan, do the honours, would ya?

Yeah. Cool.

WHISTLING Er, I think this thing needs tuning.

Something's happening.

-My feet are frozen.

-I'm cold.

Come on, children, we have to be brave.

Look, it's Florence.

Strange, for a second there I-I thought I heard...

-HE SIGHS

-I must be going mad.

She can hear me. Florence! It's me, Dougal! I've come to save you!

Dougal, is that you?

-Oh, no, she's fading.

-Dougal? Dougal!

It's only been one day and the children are freezing fast.

DOUGAL SNIFFS

-Concerned for your friends? Ha-ha!

-ALL GASP

-And I'll take the map, too, please.

-Wait.

-How do you know there's a...

-ZEEBAD LAUGHS

Well, they tortured it out of me.

Give me that map.

-Please?

-Over my dead body!

Sam, get out the garlic butter.

-I'm feeling a little peckish.

-You're bluffing.

Try me, you spineless slime-spreader.

Leave him alone!

Take the map!

You're a despicable fiend.

I know. It's a gift, really.

Compassion is such a weakness.

Sorry we can't stay but you know how it is.

People to rule, places to freeze.

Come on, imbecile, we have to destroy the bridge!

So long, suckers!

Uh! Uh! Uh!

Uh! Uh! Uh!

Uh! Hold up.

Agh-gh-gh!

HE LAUGHS

-Ooh!

-Good work, soldier.

-There's hope for you yet.

-Thank you, sir.

Man, they don't make crumbling rock causeways like they used to.

Is there any chance it will, like, grow back?

At least we'll be nice and warm.

Oh, tragedy! We're doomed!

-And just as I was about to make it big.

-You are big.

Thank you, Dougal, but I was hoping that the peak of a volcano

-wouldn't be the pinnacle of my career.

-Chill out, guys.

I've got something stashed that just might help.

We don't have time to experiment with recreational activities!

-Zebedee's magic box!

-Of course!

Now, if I could just get my head round how to work this thing...

Did Zebedee give anyone instructions? ALL: Just press the button!

A boat! Brilliant! It'll be plain sailing from here on in.

Wait. I've got it.

The tents.

He's really lost it this time.

This heat is making my horns curl. I must look a sight.

Oh, no, Ermintrude, I think you look...

That is, I find you...

Look, in case we don't make it out of here,

I just want you to know that...

All aboard! ALL GASP

'This is amazing! I've never been this high before!'

'I've never been off the ground before. What are we doing?'

BOAT WHISTLES

Well done, Dylan! A balloon escape!

-My, you are clever.

-It's all about altitude over attitude, Ermindude.

Excuse me, but there's still one small problem.

We have no idea where we're going.

Brian's right. We could drift around for years!

Or we could just, like, follow them.

Faster, Sam! You row like a milkmaid!

Ease up, sir. Now those pesky thieves are out the way,

-what's the big rush?

-Sam imagine if you'd waited 10,000 years

to come home to your frozen kingdom only to find

a world covered in flowers and animals and sunshine and...

And trees and rainbows and tiny little bunny rabbits.

Shut up and row, you wooden windbag!

Soon I will have the second diamond

and all those stranded simpletons will have is each other,

for dinner! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

SAM LAUGHS AWKWARDLY

-Sam, you're ruining the moment.

-Sorry, sir.

Is that the Milky Way, Ermintrude?

Brian! You should never ask a lady anything so personal.

Huh?

Aren't the stars beautiful?

So beautiful.

Wouldn't you love to be one of them?

I'd give anything.

You'd make a wonderful star.

Oh! I dare say you're right.

So serene.

So heavenly.

So admired

and adored.

Always looking down on everyone.

Ohhh, yes!

HE YAWNS We should get some sleep, man.

Honestly. Is that all you ever think about?

Sure, whenever I'm awake.

I can't sleep. I'm too worried about my Florence.

She's so helpless without me. She must be petrified.

Pets fried?

Bad karma.

Exactly. I calm her down.

The truth is, I do everything for her.

Her life'd be quite empty without me there.

Whoa. Don't toast the hamsters, dude.

During scary thunder storms, she insists I climb into bed with her,

for her protection.

And she just loves to throw a tennis ball.

Who's always there to bring it back

so she can have the pleasure of throwing it again?

I'm telling you, Dylan, I bet she really misses that.

Really, really,

really missing that.

Florence?

Florence!

MUSIC: "Mr Blue Sky" by ELO

# Sun is shining in the sky

# There ain't a cloud in sight

# It's stopped raining Everybody's in a play

# And don't you know it's a beautiful new day

# Hey, hey, hey

# Running down the avenue

# See how the sun shines brightly

# In the city In the streets were once was pity

# Mr Blue Sky is living here today

# Hey, hey, hey

# Mr Blue Sky please tell us why

-# You had to hide away for so long

-So long

# Where did we go wrong?

GUITAR SOLO

# Mr Blue, you did it right

# But soon comes Mr Night

# Creeping over Now his hand is on your shoulder

# Never mind I'll remember you this way

# Mr Blue Sky, please tell us why

-# You had to hide away for so long

-So long

# Where did we go wrong? #

Hey, man, tropical vibes!

But, look, there's ice up ahead.

-Where?

-Something strange is definitely afoot.

Yeah, it's definitely a foot.

OK, everybody, prepare to land!

Can't be far now.

This is definitely the place. Let's press on. Sam.

Ow!

Hold up, sir.

After me, sir. It could be dangerous

and I've got a sixth sense. Oh...

Try concentrating on the other five and you might not lose your head.

Now what do we have here?

Ah-ha! The whole place is booby-trapped.

So, what do we do now, boss?

'Tempo!'

Hmm.

Thank goodness. I can't wait to feel the earth against my hooves.

Any idea how we can land this thing?

-They're still alive.

-Well, boil me busby.

No matter. All that booby traps require are a bunch of boobies.

We let them clear the way, then we can just stroll in.

Come on!

Lower. Lower.

Loads of room. Lower.

-'Here comes...'

-Stop!

'...a smooth...crash.'

-Huh.

-Ow!

-Just in time for lunch!

And it looks like you're on the menu.

-I wonder where Zeebad is.

-We must have overtaken him.

-Nice one, train.

-'No worries, rabbit.'

Wait here and keep your pistons pumping.

-We may need to make a quick getaway.

-'Let's make it quick and go now.'

ZEEBAD LAUGHS

I wonder what these symbols mean.

-It's probably the ancient equivalent of a welcome mat.

-Ooh!

Ooh. Where are my manners?

-Ladies first.

-No, after you.

-Age before beauty, dear.

-Oh, for heaven's sake, I'll go.

Don't look so shell-shocked, Ermintrude.

I may be slow but I can still take the lead. Just follow my trail.

-Look who's beginning to grow a spine.

-Spine? What do you mean?

I'm always the first into the fray. Those lazy tykes.

I'm the only one who does anything around here. "Do this, do that."

"Yes, sir, no, sir." They treat me like a slave.

It's a disgrace. "Make my sugar, rake my grass."

They must think I'm a soft touch. But I always crawl back.

Well, come on, it's all clear.

ALL GASP

Let's go.

I never thought I'd say this, but what a snail!

'OK, wait here. That's what they said.'

'Wait... Wah! Oh, I don't like this. I don't like this.

'What's this? I'll go in the tunnel. I'm a train, I like tunnels.

'I'll wait here. That's it. Yeah. I'll wait just...'

Ooh!

-Ooh.

-Oh!

HEY! Anyone find the diamonds?

Dude, man, don't you know rabbits are kinda jumpy?

I don't see any clues.

We must be in the wrong place. Ooh, a throne.

The perfect place to enjoy my last gobstopper.

Ooh, great, a recline button!

Huh? Ooh! Ooooh!

Ooh! Ooh! Oooooooh!

Ooh. Huh?

The diamond!

Cool light show, man. Hello, pretty lasers.

No! They're alarm beams!

Someone has to get through to the diamond.

-Well, I'm too hairy.

-I've got the shakes.

For the love of Mozart, I'll do it!

I trained as a ballerina, you know? My Swan Lake was the talk of...

Stop milking the moment and get me out of here!

MUSIC: "In The Hall Of The Mountain King" by Grieg

Hmm... Er...

Agh!

Ta-da! Whee-ee!

THUD!

Well done! That was brill...

ALL: No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

Oops.

HE WHIMPERS

SKELETON SNARLS

I don't suppose anyone knows anything about martial arts.

Just the basics of, like, kung fu, karate,

judo, kendo, tae kwon do, anything-you-can-do

-and t'ai chi.

-Ooh, do they come with egg-fried rice?

-Dylan, can you beat them up?

-Sorry, I don't believe in violence.

Except in self-defence.

Er... Ooh.

Oh, man. That's what I call pulling yourself together.

Ya! Ya!

Whee-ee!

Whoa!

Come on, man.

Dylan!

I'm not just another pretty face.

Hi-ya! Whoo-hoo-ha!

Good group effort. Now, let's grab the diamond and head off.

-'I'm a train. I have a whistle.'

-WHISTLE BLOWS WEAKLY

'It's dark down here. Lucky I have tunnel vision.'

'Whoa!

'Big engine.

'Alloy wheels!

'You wouldn't want to be on the wrong end of that.'

Oh. SKELETON SNARLS

Uh-oh.

The fearless warrior of legend

has come to claim the diamond.

Erm, no, actually.

The fearless warrior couldn't make it today so we came instead.

We'll drop it in to him on the way home.

Look, do you want the diamond or don't you?

Er, well, if you're offering, yes, please.

I've got a better idea. Let's jump him.

Chaaaaaa...

..aaaaaaaaaa...

..aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarge!

SKELETON LAUGHS

It was just a thought.

How about..."Run away!"?

Oh, no!

Agh-ha-ha!

Agh-ha-haaaa! Dogs are meant to eat bones,

not the other way around!

Er, er...

Aghhhhhh!

-THUD!

-Quick thinking, Dougal!

If you keep your cool and don't run around like a headless chicken...

No time for chitchat. Let's grab that diamond and get out.

ALL GASP

It's gone! HE LAUGHS

Fools. Looking for this?

You just can't get the staff these days.

Now, do you want to tell me where the third diamond is?

Nope.

Resistance is futile!

You're no match for the great Zeebad.

Pride comes before a fall. Dougal, now!

Hurray! That's the last we'll see of them!

-BOTH: Oooh!

-Bleurgh!

-BOTH: Aghhhhh!

-BOTH: Oooh! Ouch!

-That took 'em down a peg or ten.

Yeah, man, 'cept you just flushed away diamonds one and two.

So, where do we go now?

We must get back to the roundabout as fast as we can.

I know there's, like, no rest for the wicked,

but I'm one of the good guys and right now I need a siesta.

RUMBLING Whoa!

-Look!

-'Voices! I knew they'd come to rescue me.

'Hang on. Maybe I'm supposed to be rescuing them.'

TRAIN WHISTLES Hey, that sounds familiar.

Typical train. Always turns up when you least expect it.

Come on, gang. In we go.

-'Right, now, let's get out of here.'

-Oh, do slow down.

-You're making my milk churn.

-Are you kidding?

-We're moving at a snail's pace.

-A snail's pace suits me just fine.

Ooh, Ermintrude, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said.

Relax, Doogie. Soon this whole crazy trip will be behind us.

-SKELETON SNARLS

-Behind us!

That's what I said.

No, behind us!

Faster! Faster!

'Duck!'

'I always wanted to be a roller coaster! Waaaah!'

Whoa, dudes, talk about a near-death experience.

I thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.

That is the light at the end of the tunnel. We're going to be OK.

And Zeebad's still trapped in the temple.

Then, like, who's that, his evil twin, Zeebadder?

Where's my third diamond?!

-Agh!

-'Wahhh! Furnace, don't fail me now!'

'Waaaahhhh!'

ALL SCREAM

'Brace yourself, everybody!'

'Wahhh! Mind the gap!'

'Hey!'

'Here comes big nose. Agh!'

Somebody do something!

Hey, this must be some kind of anti-spring device.

-This'll slow Zeebad down.

-Really? Agh!

-Or it could be an ejector seat.

Aghhhhhh!

-THUD!

-What the devil was that?

What happened? Why am I blind? Did we reach the roundabout yet?

So that's where you're heading.

The roundabout! And that's where I'll find my diamond. Ha-ha-ha!

So long, slimeball.

Agh! Ooooohhhh!

Sam, get up on the roof and dispose of the prisoner.

Dispose of a prisoner? I can't do that, sir. Geneva Convention.

Guess what - I'm unconventional!

HE LAUGHS

Un-convention-al! Off with his head.

Aghhhhhh! Help!

Agggghhhhhhhh!

Agh! Aghhhhh!

-Ouch!

-Whoa!

-'Welcome aboard!'

-Ermintrude, you saved me!

Don't cross me, you tarted-up tin-opener!

Faster, you lily-livered traitor! I want that diamond!

More coal!

Agh! Whoa! Trouble dead ahead!

'That's my line!'

HE GROWLS

Now, this is what happens when you don't brush regularly!

Agh!

Sir! The pressure! It's too much!

I know, I know!

Sometimes I feel I'm going quite insane!

No, it's the boiler! It...

Thank goodness! We're safe!

-'That's what I call letting off steam!'

-Hoorah!

'I can fl....yyyyyyy!'

'No, I can't.'

ALL: Aghhhhhhh!

Oh, that's enough flying for one day.

We've got to get to the roundabout before Zeebad.

Hang on, Zeebad doesn't know the diamond's at the roundabout.

Erm, that's not strictly true.

Back there on the train, I was confused

-and it just slipped out.

-Brian, man!

-Well, there's no use crying over spilt milk.

-Easy for you to say.

Come on, people, to the train!

'Ow.'

Whoa. Looks like this service has been cancelled.

-Are you all right?

-'Yeah. Delays look likely.

'I think I've pulled a piston. Ow! Nope, it's not going to happen.'

-Oh, poor trainy.

-Oh, the sun's setting.

We'll just have to make it under our own steam.

Goodbye for now, old buddy.

You can make it. Just follow our tracks.

'Don't worry about me. You go on. Find the diamond...'

'One second thoughts... What about me?!'

GROANS

Wretched machines! I must reach the roundabout before...

Ooh!

Sir, medic needed... SOS.

Mayday.

Me help you?

You treacherous mollusc-sparing disco dolly!

Your tour of duty is over.

You can't leave an injured soldier, sir.

Can't I? Just watch me.

-HE LAUGHS

-Wait. Come back!

Evil villains can be so cruel.

Oh! I can't go on.

We've been walking for hours!

So c-c-c-cold...

I can't feel my limb.

Poor Florence and the children.

If we don't get there soon, they'll be frozen stiff.

Oh, the cruel hands of time.

But if it wasn't for time,

ever-everything would, like, happen at once.

Wait. What's that?

Footprints! Maybe they'll lead us back to the village.

But, like, what kind of freaky creatures

would leave prints like these?

They must be exhausted, too.

One of them seems to be crawling along the ground.

I prefer the term gliding.

Oh, no, they're ours!

Oh, no. No!

Well, that's it, then.

It's time for the big sleep.

We did our best

-but our best wasn't good enough.

-ALL SHIVER

Oh, it's the final curtain.

Agh!

No. We mustn't sleep.

It's too cold. It's too cold.

We mustn't.

Florence...

Dougal!

-Dougal?

-Florence! You're OK!

I'm more than OK.

I'm sweet.

What about the roundabout? The children huddled, freezing.

Don't worry, Dougal. You're with me now

-in sugar paradise!

-SHE LAUGHS

Look.

Sweets for my sweet Dougal.

And you can eat

as much as you like!

No! This isn't right!

I must be going nuts! I have to wake up! Save Florence!

Florence!

No! It was just a dream.

Florence...!

Florence!

Come on! Wake up! Wake up!

-Wake up!

-Hey, man, I'm in a higher state of unconsciousness.

It's getting light and we're still completely lost.

-I'm not so sure we are.

-Oh!

Whoa, that was some serious sleepwalking.

Look! Look, look, look!

Quick, come and have a look! Look at that!

Is that really what I think it is?

Home!

Curses! The diamond must be here somewhere!

-Zeebad!

-You...

This roundabout ain't big enough for the both of us!

When I leave someone for dead,

I expect them to die!

Can't you even do that right?

I haven't done anything right since I left the roundabout.

Now it's time for me to resume my post.

You... You were on the roundabout?

Yeah, I was. Guarding it from the likes of you.

Ha! Look at the state of you! You couldn't guard a boiled egg!

Well, I might have taken a battering,

but it's like Zebedee told me, it's what's inside that counts.

Cha-a-a-a-a-arge!

Wahhhhh! Ooh.

-Ooh!

-The diamond!

Ooh, Zebedee!

You cunning slime.

And to think, I nearly abandoned it when I left you to die.

Oh, the irony!

-Now, time for the big chill.

-HE LAUGHS

This can't be our village. I don't recognise a thing!

-Like, maybe we took a wrong turn, dude.

-No, no, this is definitely it.

If we go past this white thingy and by this white bit...

just round the corner should be the, er...

Oh, no.

ZEEBAD LAUGHS

Zeebad!

Ah, perfect!

You've arrived just in time for the finale!

So long, sunshine!

-Ah!

-Florence!

Oh, Florence!

Oh, no! No! No!

No, no. This is all my fault.

If only I hadn't been so greedy and stupid. Oh.

Farewell, then, Dylan.

Goodbye, dear Brian.

Er, Ermintrude,

before we freeze, there's something I've been tr-trying to tell you.

Erm... MENACING LAUGH

This guy...is seriously...

messing...with my...karma!

Eat this, you jumped-up jack-in-the-box! Agh!

Oh! You just don't know when you're beaten, do you?

-Take a chill pill, rabbit!

-Whoa!

Aghhhh!

Wait a minute! That's it!

Ermintrude! Sing! Sing as loud as you can!

Oh! Oh!

I'm not used to working under these conditions.

Dougal might be onto something.

Yes! Ermintrude, sing!

I haven't even warmed up!

Ermintrude, sing!

Fine. # Ah-ah-ah

-# Ah-ah-ah-ah... #

-What is that abominable noise?

-VERY HIGH:

-# Ah-ah-ah-ah... #

Whoa!

HE GROWLS

CRACKS KNUCKLES

Shell loaded.

Take this.

-Run!

-Whoa!

Ready? And go!

Whoa! Whoa-ho!

HE GROWLS Well done! Ooh!

Whoa-ho!

Dylan! It's coming your way!

Whoa! That was some hit!

Whoa! Psychedelic!

# We love to boogie

# We love to boogie... #

I got it, man.

No!

Whoa!

-Over to me, over to me!

-No! It's mine! Mine!

Oh!

ERMINTRUDE SINGS

-Two-nil!

-The game's not over yet!

Ooh!

Ooh, nice catch, Zeebad.

Now let's get the final...diamond.

Touch it and you're toast.

You don't scare me. You're just a big, blue bully.

The tables have turned. All we need to do is put this last diamond on...

-Oops.

-Here comes a home run.

Not again!

Ow!

Victory!

HE LAUGHS

So close and yet so...

Far out!

Nice try for a bunch of dumb animals,

but now it's closing time at the zoo.

-Not with our secret weapon - Zebedee's magic box!

-Huh.

Oh!

It d-doesn't work!

ZEEBAD LAUGHS

HE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

Oo-ooh! Zebedee's toys can't help you now.

'Bounce back from that, slinky!' Whoo-hoo!'

-Train! I knew you'd make it!

-'Bang on schedule.'

-The diamond!

I'll get it. I got us into this mess

and I'll get us out.

'Go on, Dougal.'

HE GROWLS

ALL GASP

Ooh. Ooh.

Oh-h!

No-o-o!

Wha...?

HE GROANS

HE LAUGHS

Hooray!

We did it! We did it!

-We did it!

-TRAIN TOOTS

Come on!

-'Well done.'

-There's nothing like opera for breaking the ice.

ALL LAUGH I can see grass, man.

Sweet green grass.

But where's Florence?

Florence?

Florence!

Florence, can you hear me? Please wake up.

Please wake up! Don't leave me.

-This world means nothing without you.

-Sorry, old buddy.

No, it can't... She can't...

Florence! My lovely Florence!

Huh?

DOUGAL WEEPS

She moved!

She's alive!

Oh, Florence, I thought I'd lost you forever!

And I thought I'd lost you, too, Dougal.

But you saved my life

-and everyone else's.

-Oh, stop it.

It's what any incredibly heroic dog would do.

Oh. So, you don't want a...little reward?

Oh, no. I've learnt my lesson.

I'm not having anything more to do with lollipops. Or gobstoppers.

Or toffees.

But wait. Where's Zebedee?

ALL: Zebedee!

Bravo, my friends! I always knew you could do it!

-But we thought you were dead!

-Dead?! Nonsense, Dougal!

Everyone knows that after winter it's time for spring!

Come on, everyone, to the roundabout!

ALL GIGGLE

ROUNDABOUT MUSIC PLAYS

-MUSIC SLOWS TO A STOP

-Oh, no!

-How come it's not moving?

-I-it's, like, stuck, man!

-What's wrong with the roundabout?

-Zebedee?

Don't you remember? The roundabout's still missing something.

-Or should I say someone?

-Hm?

Sam?

But that's Zeebad's henchman. He tortured me.

Don't be too hard on him. Sam, too, was a victim

of Zeebad's maniacal magic.

-Oh!

-It's time for you to return where you belong, Sam.

# Sugar

# Oh, honey, honey

# You are my candy girl

# And you got me wanting you

# Honey

# Oh, sugar, sugar

-# You are my candy girl

-Nice shade of moose!

-# And you got me wanting you

-With matching hooves!

# I just can't believe the loveliness of loving you... #

-Dougal.

-Huh?

-Dougal! Dougal!

Ooh!

-HE LAUGHS

-Huh?

# The birds and the bees are all singing to me

# Tell me what you see

# The beautiful sky always making us happy

# Yeah, it's gonna be

# A wonderful trip to wherever it takes us

-# Together, you and me

-Sugar, sugar, sugar!

Sugar!

# I'm climbing high up in the sky

# Can you see?

# The sun is shining

# These are good times

# The magic roundabout

# All friends together now

# Come and take your trip cos it's all right

# So join in with the fun

# The ride has just begun

# We're never coming down we're spinning round and round

# On the magic roundabout

# The magic roundabout

# Off on an adventure we're coming to get ya

# Wherever that may be

# I won't let anything come here and upset ya

# I'm gonna set you free

# Whatever happens along the way, it's gonna be fine... #

Oh, curses.

In prison once more.

Ah, well, at least it's cold.

Double curses!

# The magic roundabout

# I'm flying high up in the sky

# Can't you see?

# The sun is shining

# These are good times. #

Whoo!

Oh. Oh, you're still there.

Didn't I tell you?

Time for bed. HE LAUGHS