Teacher's Pet

Line	From	To
# When you wish upon a star	0:00:19	0:00:24
# Makes no difference who you are	0:00:24	0:00:29
# Anything your heart desires will come to you	0:00:29	0:00:37
# If your heart is in your dream	0:00:39	0:00:43
# No request is too extreme	0:00:43	0:00:47
# When you wish upon a star	0:00:47	0:00:53
# As dreamers do...	0:00:53	0:00:57
GROANS	0:00:57	0:00:59
LAUGHTER	0:01:01	0:01:02
THUD	0:01:02	0:01:03
THUD	0:01:03	0:01:04
Boy, talk about your lucky puppet.	0:01:05	0:01:09
I'd give anything if only I could become	0:01:09	0:01:11
a real live boy like that Pinocchio.	0:01:11	0:01:14
Aah!	0:01:14	0:01:15
Is that what you wish for	0:01:15	0:01:16
above all other things, dear Spot?	0:01:16	0:01:18
Oh, yes, dear Blue Fairy.	0:01:18	0:01:20
Being a real live boy	0:01:20	0:01:22
Is the most important thing	0:01:22	0:01:24
In the whole wide world to me.	0:01:24	0:01:26
Then close your eyes very tightly,	0:01:26	0:01:29
dear Spot,	0:01:29	0:01:30
and wish for it with all your heart.	0:01:30	0:01:32
I wish I was a boy.	0:01:32	0:01:35
I wish I was a boy.	0:01:37	0:01:40
BONK! I wish I was a...	0:01:40	0:01:42
CLANG! Ow, you're hurting me,	0:01:42	0:01:44
dear Blue Fairy.	0:01:44	0:01:46
MAN'S VOICE: I ain't no fairy! And it's time to get up.	0:01:46	0:01:48
Sorry, Pretty Boy.	0:01:48	0:01:49
It's just that I was having	0:01:49	0:01:51
the most wonderful dream.	0:01:51	0:01:52
Him with the dream again.	0:01:52	0:01:54
It's not enough you dress up like a boy	0:01:54	0:01:55
and go to that cockamamie school every day!	0:01:55	0:01:57
No. "I want to be a boy. I want to be a boy."	0:01:57	0:02:01
Well, wise up, pupchik!	0:02:01	0:02:03
I want to be a rooster in a henhouse,	0:02:03	0:02:05
but I don't see it happenin'!	0:02:05	0:02:06
Although I'd be a darn good one,	0:02:06	0:02:08
wouldn't I, Mr Jolly?	0:02:08	0:02:09
Ohhh... It's a bit early in the day	0:02:09	0:02:12
for hypothetical speculations, but...you? A rooster?	0:02:12	0:02:16
It is to laugh.	0:02:17	0:02:19
Who asked you, tuna breath?	0:02:19	0:02:20
You're still in bed?!	0:02:20	0:02:22
Come on, get up. You don't want to be late	0:02:22	0:02:23
for the last day of school, do you?	0:02:23	0:02:25
And ruin my perfect attendance record?	0:02:25	0:02:27
I don't think so.	0:02:27	0:02:28
Come on, let's go!	0:02:28	0:02:30
Pants? Check.	0:02:30	0:02:31
Shirt? Check.	0:02:31	0:02:32
Tail. Tucked.	0:02:32	0:02:33
Eyebrows? Plucked!	0:02:33	0:02:34
Ears in cap?	0:02:34	0:02:35
Ooh, a table scrap.	0:02:35	0:02:36
Chow? Demolished.	0:02:36	0:02:37
Apple? Polished!	0:02:37	0:02:38
World, here I come! Ha!	0:02:38	0:02:40
# Born on the wrong end of the leash	0:02:40	0:02:42
# I was a dreamer	0:02:42	0:02:43
# And a little schemer	0:02:43	0:02:44
# A simple mutt livin' a dog's life	0:02:44	0:02:46
# But the bell for school would make me drool	0:02:46	0:02:48
# Till I came up with this clever ploy	0:02:48	0:02:50
# Which is to say, dressing like a boy	0:02:50	0:02:52
# Now he thinks he can take other pets a peg down	0:02:52	0:02:54
# Hey, I'm a dog who's learned	0:02:54	0:02:56
# To keep his leg down	0:02:56	0:02:57
# I gotta be a boy	0:02:57	0:02:59
# He's so over just being Rover	0:02:59	0:03:01
# Gotta be a boy	0:03:01	0:03:03
# This teacher's pet thinks that he's a boy	0:03:03	0:03:04
# He da bomb	0:03:04	0:03:05
# He's a regular whiz kid yeah, but	0:03:05	0:03:06
# Hey, that's how it is, kid	0:03:06	0:03:08
LEONARD: # Now that summer's here	0:03:08	0:03:09
# You'll be a dog like any other	0:03:09	0:03:11
# Leonard, haven't you always wanted a brother?	0:03:11	0:03:12
# I want to have a dog	0:03:12	0:03:14
# Hey, I'm off the leash now	0:03:14	0:03:16
# He's eating quiche now	0:03:16	0:03:17
# Gotta be a boy	0:03:17	0:03:18
# A boy and nothing but a boy	0:03:18	0:03:20
# Nothing but a boy	0:03:20	0:03:22
# Don't you think you're stretching?	0:03:22	0:03:23
SPOT: # Quit your kvetching	0:03:23	0:03:24
# Gotta be a boy	0:03:24	0:03:26
# Spot, you can fake it	0:03:26	0:03:27
# But you'll never be a boy	0:03:27	0:03:28
# But soft	0:03:28	0:03:29
# Could what he said be true?	0:03:29	0:03:31
# Is this really just a phase I'm going through?	0:03:31	0:03:34
# I sure hope so	0:03:34	0:03:36
# Shall I go back to serving man?	0:03:36	0:03:38
# Eat wholesome dinners from a can	0:03:38	0:03:40
# Who needs French and scoring goals	0:03:40	0:03:42
# Come on, let's bark and dig some holes... #	0:03:42	0:03:44
What am I, nuts?	0:03:44	0:03:46
Leonard, wake up and smell the kibble!	0:03:46	0:03:49
# I gotta be a boy	0:03:49	0:03:51
# Spot, sit and stay now	0:03:51	0:03:52
# What did you say now?	0:03:52	0:03:53
# He's gotta be a boy	0:03:53	0:03:55
# I've got to be It's not to be	0:03:55	0:03:57
# I long to be You're wrong to be	0:03:57	0:03:58
# It's great to be Great trait to be	0:03:58	0:04:00
# We'd hate to be Can't wait to be	0:04:00	0:04:01
# My mate-to-be Too late to be	0:04:01	0:04:03
# It's my fate to be	0:04:03	0:04:05
# A boy	0:04:05	0:04:06
# A dog	0:04:06	0:04:07
# A boy, a boy A dog, a dog	0:04:07	0:04:09
# A boy, boy, boy Dog, dog, dog, dog	0:04:09	0:04:13
# Boy! Dog! #	0:04:13	0:04:24
SCHOOL BELL RINGS	0:04:24	0:04:26
# Bo-o-o-oy! #	0:04:26	0:04:29
Boy!	0:04:29	0:04:30
Congratulations, Scott Leadready II,	0:04:30	0:04:33
on winning the fourth grade perfect attendance medal!	0:04:33	0:04:36
Thank you, Mrs Helperman.	0:04:36	0:04:38
It's just the thing to compliment	0:04:38	0:04:39
my maths medal, history medal,	0:04:39	0:04:40
and science medal, not to mention	0:04:40	0:04:42
my medal for self-esteem. Ohh!	0:04:42	0:04:44
Well, it's been a gosh darned	0:04:44	0:04:46
jubilatious joy teaching you!	0:04:46	0:04:48
And all of you. Uhh!	0:04:48	0:04:50
Oh, foo.	0:04:50	0:04:52
I promised myself I wouldn't cry.	0:04:52	0:04:55
I'm just going to miss you...	0:04:55	0:04:58
all so much.	0:04:58	0:05:01
ALL SOB	0:05:01	0:05:02
MUFFLED: Mom! I told you a million times,	0:05:02	0:05:05
no hugs at school!	0:05:05	0:05:07
Oh, sorry, doodlebug.	0:05:07	0:05:09
I mean... Dude, don't bug me.	0:05:09	0:05:11
Anyhoo, what yummy, fun plans	0:05:11	0:05:13
does everyone have for this summer?	0:05:13	0:05:15
I'm going to my Granny Smith's apple farm.	0:05:15	0:05:17
ALL: We're skatin' 24/7.	0:05:17	0:05:20
I'm grounded for a week	0:05:20	0:05:21
for hacking into Buckingham Palace.	0:05:21	0:05:23
But after that, I get to visit my Uncle Ivan,	0:05:23	0:05:26
who does strange and disgusting experiments	0:05:26	0:05:29
on animals and people. I mean, who knows?	0:05:29	0:05:32
Maybe next time I see you guys,	0:05:32	0:05:33
I'll be able to breath through my neck	0:05:33	0:05:35
like an amphibian!	0:05:35	0:05:36
Aah!	0:05:36	0:05:38
You're so weird, Ian.	0:05:38	0:05:39
Wait'll you see me with gills!	0:05:39	0:05:41
Heh. Hottie!	0:05:41	0:05:43
GASPS: Aah!	0:05:43	0:05:44
Ahh. This summer.	0:05:44	0:05:46
Yeah, I know what I'm doin'...	0:05:46	0:05:48
just playin' with my best friend.	0:05:48	0:05:51
Hey. Aah!	0:05:51	0:05:53
Yeah, best friends forever.	0:05:53	0:05:55
BOING!	0:05:55	0:05:57
Calm down, angel eyes.	0:05:57	0:05:59
Now, Poppy can't make his announcement	0:05:59	0:06:01
with your sharp little talons	0:06:01	0:06:03
in his Adam's apple!	0:06:03	0:06:04
YOWL!	0:06:04	0:06:05
Now, students of the, er, um....	0:06:05	0:06:09
Fourth grade, Principal Strickler.	0:06:09	0:06:11
But soon to be fifth grade!	0:06:11	0:06:15
That's why I'm glad I'm a principal.	0:06:16	0:06:17
None of this messy student/teacher involvement.	0:06:17	0:06:19
They grow, they leave - good riddance.	0:06:19	0:06:21
But I suppose it is just that sort of	0:06:21	0:06:23
bushy-gushy loving teacher stuff	0:06:23	0:06:25
that leads to this announcement. Hmph!	0:06:25	0:06:27
Mrs Mary Lou Helperman,	0:06:27	0:06:28
you have been selected as a finalist	0:06:28	0:06:30
for the teacher of the year award!	0:06:30	0:06:32
CHEERING	0:06:32	0:06:34
Neato!	0:06:34	0:06:35
That's right, it's the neato -	0:06:35	0:06:37
the national excellent	0:06:37	0:06:38
American teacher organisation award!	0:06:38	0:06:41
LEONARD: Way to go, mom!	0:06:41	0:06:42
And that's not all, Mary Lou Helperman!	0:06:42	0:06:44
As a finalist,	0:06:44	0:06:45
the Fala D Roosevelt unified school district	0:06:45	0:06:47
will be sending you to compete	0:06:47	0:06:49
in the final round of competition	0:06:49	0:06:51
in beautiful sunny southern Florida!	0:06:51	0:06:54
Florida!	0:06:54	0:06:56
And the fun doesn't end there, Mary Lou Helperman.	0:06:56	0:06:58
Oh, no. Because you'll be travelling	0:06:58	0:07:00
to the sunshine state in the luxury	0:07:00	0:07:02
of my very own personal air-conditioned went-away-go!	0:07:02	0:07:06
Yes, it's all yours.	0:07:06	0:07:08
Mi went-away-go es su went-away-go.	0:07:08	0:07:10
I only have one, er, heh...	0:07:10	0:07:11
Little, tiny, very simple rule.	0:07:11	0:07:13
Certainly, Principal Strickler.	0:07:13	0:07:15
Absolutely no dogs are allowed	0:07:15	0:07:18
in my went-away-go, ever!	0:07:18	0:07:19
I hate dogs!	0:07:19	0:07:23
SPOT WHINES	0:07:30	0:07:32
Well, I guess this is the time to say goodbye.	0:07:32	0:07:36
Oh, come on, don't make it harder.	0:07:37	0:07:40
Don't give me those big, sad dog eyes.	0:07:40	0:07:43
They're the only eyes I got, Leonard.	0:07:43	0:07:45
The eyes of a dog -	0:07:45	0:07:47
a dog who's not going anywhere.	0:07:47	0:07:50
Just staying home...	0:07:50	0:07:52
by himself...	0:07:52	0:07:54
Here...alone!	0:07:54	0:07:57
The dog.	0:07:57	0:07:59
But you're not going to be alone.	0:07:59	0:08:01
You've got Pretty Boy and Jolly,	0:08:01	0:08:04
and Mrs Boogin's the nicest pet-sitter in the whole world.	0:08:04	0:08:08
And besides, it's only for two weeks.	0:08:08	0:08:11
Yeah, in boy-time, two weeks,	0:08:11	0:08:13
but everything in dog-time is seven times longer,	0:08:13	0:08:16
so for me it's 14 weeks.	0:08:16	0:08:18
SIGHS: It might as well be forever.	0:08:18	0:08:21
Man, this really stinks.	0:08:21	0:08:23
You should smell it from down here.	0:08:23	0:08:25
OK, just two weeks, then I'm back,	0:08:25	0:08:28
and it's you and me, best friends,	0:08:28	0:08:31
together, all summer long.	0:08:31	0:08:34
Aw, jeez, you're gonna sing now, aren't you?	0:08:34	0:08:37
# I know it's been said... #	0:08:37	0:08:40
SPOT: Oh, boy.	0:08:40	0:08:41
# Everyone needs someone... #	0:08:41	0:08:43
This is not making it better.	0:08:43	0:08:44
# A loyal companion	0:08:44	0:08:47
# To share in life's fun... #	0:08:47	0:08:49
You're killing me here.	0:08:49	0:08:51
# For a day at the park	0:08:51	0:08:53
# Or a game of leap frog... #	0:08:53	0:08:57
Sing it with me, Spot.	0:08:57	0:08:59
I thought you'd never ask.	0:08:59	0:09:01
# A friend needs a friend	0:09:01	0:09:04
# A boy needs a dog. #	0:09:04	0:09:07
Leonard. Come on, Lenny-bones, hop in!	0:09:07	0:09:09
Let's skit-skat-skedoodle!	0:09:09	0:09:11
Florida's not gonna come to us, you know?	0:09:11	0:09:13
Mwah!	0:09:13	0:09:14
Bye, Spotty-wots! Be a good doggie!	0:09:14	0:09:17
VROOM!	0:09:18	0:09:20
SAD VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYS	0:09:20	0:09:23
Whoa!	0:09:25	0:09:26
TYRES SCREECH	0:09:26	0:09:29
Don't forget your sun block.	0:09:34	0:09:37
WOMAN ON TV: John?	0:09:39	0:09:40
MAN ON TV: Marcia?	0:09:40	0:09:41
John!	0:09:41	0:09:42
Marcia!	0:09:42	0:09:43
John!	0:09:43	0:09:45
Marcia!	0:09:45	0:09:46
Yawn. Mush-a!	0:09:46	0:09:49
John?	0:09:49	0:09:50
Marcia? CLICK	0:09:50	0:09:51
You stupid people with no lives	0:09:51	0:09:55
are watching the Barry Anger Show!	0:09:55	0:09:57
BOTH: Aah!	0:09:57	0:09:58
Hi, I'm Barry Anger,	0:09:58	0:10:00
and today on the hot seat, we have Dr Ivan Krank,	0:10:00	0:10:04
a world-class wacko who - get this -	0:10:04	0:10:08
claims he can turn animals into human beings!	0:10:08	0:10:13
Huh. Turn animals into human beings?	0:10:13	0:10:16
My dream come true!	0:10:16	0:10:18
Oh, now how did this trash get on my TV?	0:10:18	0:10:22
Where's my clicker?	0:10:22	0:10:23
Oh, for goodness sakes, where did I put that?	0:10:23	0:10:25
Hey! MEOW!	0:10:25	0:10:27
Oh, silly me, I must have left it in the kitchen.	0:10:27	0:10:31
Well, good excuse to get us all some more yummies!	0:10:31	0:10:34
Moochie poochie!	0:10:34	0:10:36
God love her for the food, but she is definitely	0:10:36	0:10:38
a couple of caraways short of a seed bell.	0:10:38	0:10:40
Shh. Look!	0:10:40	0:10:41
Direct from Florida, where the cuckoo nuts grow,	0:10:41	0:10:43
the world's biggest wacko, Dr Ivan Krank!	0:10:43	0:10:47
I am not a wacko!	0:10:47	0:10:50
I am a man of science, who has perfected	0:10:50	0:10:53
the neuro-electrical, photo-pulsar-based	0:10:53	0:10:55
methodology to isolate the genome on the DNA strand	0:10:55	0:10:58
which will allow me to transform dumb animals	0:10:58	0:11:02
into dumb human beings - just like you!	0:11:02	0:11:05
Wow, it's my dream come true!	0:11:05	0:11:09
CLAP CLAP	0:11:12	0:11:13
AUDIENCE: Wacko. Wacko. Wacko!	0:11:13	0:11:16
Wacko. Wacko. Wacko!	0:11:16	0:11:19
No. You are the wackos	0:11:19	0:11:21
if you don't believe that the possibilities	0:11:21	0:11:23
for change in this world are infinite!	0:11:23	0:11:27
And I'll prove it!	0:11:27	0:11:29
As soon as I find the perfect animal subject	0:11:29	0:11:32
to turn into a real live human being!	0:11:32	0:11:36
Me, Dr Krank, me!	0:11:36	0:11:38
Hey, smart boy, let me explain how TV works.	0:11:38	0:11:40
We can hear them, but they can't hear us.	0:11:40	0:11:43
SNAP	0:11:43	0:11:45
I've got to meet that man.	0:11:45	0:11:47
He's the one chance I have to finally make	0:11:47	0:11:49
my lifelong dream come true!	0:11:49	0:11:51
But he's all the way in Florida	0:11:51	0:11:53
where Leonard and his mom are headed right now!	0:11:53	0:11:57
What a coinkidink.	0:11:57	0:11:59
Coinkidink, Mr Jolly? Coinkidink?	0:11:59	0:12:01
That I just happened to lay on that clicker	0:12:01	0:12:03
and change to that channel and see that miracle man	0:12:03	0:12:07
who just happens to live in Florida	0:12:07	0:12:10
where Leonard and his mom	0:12:10	0:12:11
just happen to be going as we speak?	0:12:11	0:12:14
Coinkidink, Mr Jolly... Or fate?	0:12:14	0:12:18
Cover for me with the pet-sitter, guys.	0:12:20	0:12:22
I'm goin' to Florida!	0:12:22	0:12:25
Aah. Cover with the pet-sitter?	0:12:27	0:12:29
But how? We have no experience!	0:12:29	0:12:30
And we have no time to prepare. Oh, dear me!	0:12:30	0:12:32
Oh, this is bad. This is very bad.	0:12:32	0:12:34
How will we ever pull it off. Oh!	0:12:34	0:12:35
# La la la la... #	0:12:35	0:12:37
Ooh!	0:12:37	0:12:38
Oh, mercy, Spot!	0:12:38	0:12:41
I almost sat on you!	0:12:41	0:12:44
Do you love mommy?	0:12:44	0:12:45
I think we can handle it.	0:12:45	0:12:47
SNIFFING	0:12:50	0:12:53
PANTING	0:12:53	0:12:55
Come on, Leonard, let's play a game.	0:13:04	0:13:05
20 questions. I'll start. Here's your hint.	0:13:05	0:13:07
It's someone you love.	0:13:07	0:13:09
What? Spot?	0:13:11	0:13:14
Wow, good guess!	0:13:14	0:13:15
No, I saw him! With my own eyes!	0:13:15	0:13:18
Oh, you want to play that game. Ha ha ha!	0:13:18	0:13:21
All righty, I spy with my little eye...	0:13:21	0:13:24
Spot!	0:13:24	0:13:26
No, come on, honey,	0:13:26	0:13:27
Spot can't be the answer every time.	0:13:27	0:13:28
VROOM	0:13:32	0:13:34
CHOMP	0:13:34	0:13:36
Mom, you gotta stop!	0:13:39	0:13:41
Ooh, ooh, you're right. We do. We need gas.	0:13:41	0:13:43
OK, you fill 'er up, sweetie. I've got to go powder my nose.	0:13:50	0:13:53
Cleanliness is next to godliness,	0:13:53	0:13:54
but gas station bathrooms are not.	0:13:54	0:13:59
Spot. Spot? Where are you?	0:14:00	0:14:03
GASPS	0:14:05	0:14:06
VROOM	0:14:06	0:14:07
CRYING: Oh, no...	0:14:07	0:14:10
Lose something, Bunky?	0:14:10	0:14:12
Spot. Ha!	0:14:12	0:14:13
You're OK! I can't believe it!	0:14:13	0:14:16
What are you doing here?	0:14:16	0:14:18
I had to come, Lenny! How could I stay away?	0:14:18	0:14:22
I just love you so much	0:14:22	0:14:24
and wanted to be with you so bad.	0:14:24	0:14:27
A friend needs a friend.	0:14:27	0:14:29
CRYING: A boy needs a dog.	0:14:29	0:14:32
OK, I also need a lift to Florida	0:14:32	0:14:34
for my own self-serving reasons, but why spoil	0:14:34	0:14:37
this beautiful moment with that?	0:14:37	0:14:39
I love ya! I want to be with ya!	0:14:39	0:14:42
Mmm, give us another hug!	0:14:42	0:14:44
Oh, Spot, good ol' boy!	0:14:44	0:14:47
Hey, wait a second. Are you crazy?	0:14:47	0:14:50
You heard what Principal Strickler said	0:14:50	0:14:52
about no dogs in his went-away-go.	0:14:52	0:14:54
And here comes my mom right now!	0:14:54	0:14:57
What are we gonna do, Spot?	0:14:57	0:14:58
Spot?	0:14:58	0:14:59
Did you just say Spot?	0:14:59	0:15:01
No, Mrs Helperman, he said Scott!	0:15:01	0:15:04
As in Scott Leadready II,	0:15:04	0:15:07
your old pal from back home!	0:15:07	0:15:09
Who'da thunk it and fancy meeting me here.	0:15:09	0:15:12
He's good.	0:15:12	0:15:13
Oh, Scott, I've missed you.	0:15:13	0:15:15
Really, Mrs H? How much?	0:15:15	0:15:18
Enough to take me on the rest of your trip	0:15:18	0:15:19
to sunny southern Florida. Heh heh!	0:15:19	0:15:21
Could we, Mom?	0:15:21	0:15:22
Well, of course not, honey.	0:15:22	0:15:24
Scott's obviously travelling with his family.	0:15:24	0:15:26
What family? Oh. My family!	0:15:26	0:15:28
Sure, I'm travelling with my family.	0:15:28	0:15:31
My whole family - mom, sis, grandma,	0:15:31	0:15:33
Uncle Jojo, the ventriloquist,	0:15:33	0:15:35
his dummy Floyd -	0:15:35	0:15:37
my family! Ooh, I love 'em!	0:15:37	0:15:40
I love 'em, but darn the luck,	0:15:40	0:15:41
wouldn't you know, they can't go to Florida,	0:15:41	0:15:44
because...because why?	0:15:44	0:15:46
There's been an emergency?	0:15:46	0:15:48
Good. I mean, it's a good emergency.	0:15:48	0:15:50
The kind where they all have to go home,	0:15:50	0:15:52
but I can still go to Florida with you.	0:15:52	0:15:54
Which is the good part,	0:15:54	0:15:55
so, come on, let's hit the road!	0:15:55	0:15:57
Well, hmm, I'd certainly need to discuss it	0:15:57	0:16:00
with your mother first.	0:16:00	0:16:01
Oy, you don't make this easy.	0:16:01	0:16:04
She'll meet you right over there.	0:16:04	0:16:05
She just, er, has to get dressed.	0:16:05	0:16:08
WHOOSH	0:16:10	0:16:11
Ooh, jeez!	0:16:11	0:16:13
What I have to go through to become a real live boy!	0:16:13	0:16:18
Ooh!	0:16:18	0:16:19
SPOT: Why, Mary Lou Helperman!	0:16:19	0:16:21
Hello and halleloo!	0:16:21	0:16:24
Ha ha ha!	0:16:24	0:16:25
If you weren't just sent from heaven above	0:16:25	0:16:27
to take our dear little Scott to Flor...	0:16:27	0:16:30
I'm sorry to interrupt, Mrs Leadready,	0:16:30	0:16:32
but do you want to hear the funniest thing?	0:16:32	0:16:33
I brought that exact same dress on this trip.	0:16:33	0:16:37
Oh, that is funny. You're a stitch!	0:16:37	0:16:40
Anyway, back to poor Scott.	0:16:40	0:16:43
He so desperately wants to go to Florida.	0:16:43	0:16:45
And I believe I packed that same shade of lipstick, too!	0:16:45	0:16:47
Really? What a coinkidink!	0:16:47	0:16:49
Anyway...	0:16:49	0:16:50
and those earrings look awfully familiar.	0:16:50	0:16:53
Are you gonna take him or not...darlin'?	0:16:53	0:16:56
Well, gee,	0:16:56	0:16:57
shouldn't we check with the rest of your family?	0:16:57	0:16:59
Oy. The rest of my...	0:16:59	0:17:01
I'll see who's round the corner!	0:17:01	0:17:04
Yeah, yeah, I tell ya...	0:17:04	0:17:05
Thanks, gals.	0:17:05	0:17:06
LISPING: Missus, please take Scott	0:17:06	0:17:08
to sunny southern Florida,	0:17:08	0:17:10
so I can have some peace	0:17:10	0:17:12
from all his merciless teasing!	0:17:12	0:17:14
Young lady, I missed my chance to see Florida	0:17:16	0:17:19
when I was the boy's age,	0:17:19	0:17:21
and look what a bitter old woman I turned out to be!	0:17:21	0:17:24
You must be Scott's...	0:17:24	0:17:25
I can't talk to you! I'm too bitter!	0:17:25	0:17:28
IRISH ACCENT: Hoity-toity-toity-toity-toi.	0:17:28	0:17:30
An' 'tis wishin' I am that some fine soul	0:17:30	0:17:34
would take me Scotty boy to Florida.	0:17:34	0:17:37
Uncle Jojo the ventriloquist?	0:17:37	0:17:38
'Tis!	0:17:38	0:17:39
And where's your dummy Floyd?	0:17:39	0:17:41
Great St. Patty's Shillelagh!	0:17:41	0:17:44
The little leprechaun must be around here somewhere.	0:17:44	0:17:46
OK, you be Floyd.	0:17:47	0:17:48
Me. I don't know what to do!	0:17:48	0:17:51
Just shut up and act dumb!	0:17:51	0:17:52
What? Perfect!	0:17:52	0:17:53
Mrs Helperman, meet dummy Floyd.	0:17:53	0:17:56
Take our Scott, please!	0:17:56	0:17:58
Oh, ha ha ha. Ohh, Leonard's gotta see this.	0:17:58	0:18:01
Where'd he go? And where's Scott?	0:18:01	0:18:03
Oh, I'll find 'em, Colleen,	0:18:03	0:18:06
providin' you'll hie me fine nephew	0:18:06	0:18:08
to fair Florida.	0:18:08	0:18:10
Well, of course, I'll take him!	0:18:10	0:18:11
I've been planning to take him all along.	0:18:11	0:18:13
And you couldn't have just said that	0:18:13	0:18:15
to the lady in the flowery dress?	0:18:15	0:18:17
Saints preserve us! Say goodbye, Floyd!	0:18:17	0:18:21
Top o' the mornin' to ya!	0:18:21	0:18:22
Hey, I do the cliched Irish dialogue around here.	0:18:22	0:18:27
So, whassup? So, whassup?	0:18:28	0:18:30
Well, Scott, it looks like	0:18:30	0:18:31
you're coming with us to Florida!	0:18:31	0:18:33
Yes! Yes!	0:18:33	0:18:34
I'm on my way to Florida!	0:18:36	0:18:39
Come on, everyone! Time's a-wastin'!	0:18:39	0:18:41
Let's hit the road and sing a song about it!	0:18:41	0:18:44
What is it with this family and singing?	0:18:44	0:18:46
I'm starting to feel von trapped.	0:18:46	0:18:49
# There's a whole bunch of world in our back yard	0:18:52	0:18:55
# An awful lot of world to see	0:18:55	0:18:58
# Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas	0:18:58	0:19:01
# And now the states that start with "C" and "D"	0:19:01	0:19:03
# California, Colorado, and Connecticut	0:19:03	0:19:06
# Dear Delaware, the very first state	0:19:06	0:19:08
# Ohh	0:19:08	0:19:09
# Florida and Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho	0:19:09	0:19:12
# Where they grow a lot of trout and potato	0:19:12	0:19:15
# Right smack in the middle, little Illinois	0:19:15	0:19:18
# Indiana and Iowa, too	0:19:18	0:19:20
# There's Kansas and Kentucky, and way down south	0:19:20	0:19:23
# Louisiana is shaped like a shoe	0:19:23	0:19:26
# And still a lot of states to do, whew	0:19:26	0:19:29
# Eight states start with "M", now let's name them	0:19:29	0:19:31
# Maine, Maryland, and Massachoooo-setts	0:19:31	0:19:34
# Mich, Minneso, Mississipp, show me mo	0:19:34	0:19:37
# Montana, now we're more than halfway through	0:19:37	0:19:39
# Nebraska, Nevada, and the "New"s	0:19:39	0:19:42
# Hampshire, Jersey, Mexico, and York	0:19:42	0:19:44
# Now the "North"s, Carolina and Dakota	0:19:44	0:19:47
# Where Sacajawea guided Lewis and Clark	0:19:47	0:19:49
# Ohio, Oklahoma, and Oregon	0:19:49	0:19:52
# Pennsylvania, where they wrote the constitution	0:19:52	0:19:55
# Little Rhode Island and South Carolina	0:19:55	0:19:57
# Where the rebels tried to start a revolution	0:19:57	0:20:00
# South Dakota, Tennessee, and next to Mexico	0:20:00	0:20:02
# Texas, where they have a lot of cows	0:20:02	0:20:04
# Utah, green Vermont, and old Virginny	0:20:04	0:20:07
# Where George Washington took his first bow, wow	0:20:07	0:20:09
# We're all the way to "W" now	0:20:09	0:20:12
# Washington, West Virginia and Wisconsin	0:20:12	0:20:14
# I don't know how much higher I can sing... #	0:20:14	0:20:16
ALL PANT	0:20:16	0:20:18
# But that's OK cos we've gone all the way	0:20:18	0:20:20
# From Alabama to Wyoming	0:20:20	0:20:22
# From Alabama to Wyomi-i-i-ing	0:20:22	0:20:27
SPOT: # Hey! #	0:20:27	0:20:28
THUNDER	0:20:28	0:20:30
Gee...	0:20:32	0:20:33
I was sure the map said sunny Florida	0:20:33	0:20:35
was around here somewhere.	0:20:35	0:20:37
LEONARD: Wow!	0:20:39	0:20:40
Oh, here it is!	0:20:40	0:20:41
Ha ha ha ha!	0:20:41	0:20:43
Aah! Ha ha ha!	0:20:45	0:20:47
Oh! Aaaah!	0:20:47	0:20:48
Aaaah. Aaah. Aaah!	0:20:57	0:20:59
Ha!	0:20:59	0:21:00
Ha ha ha!	0:21:03	0:21:05
Ahh.	0:21:07	0:21:08
I could get used to this.	0:21:08	0:21:10
Oh, no, but I can't.	0:21:10	0:21:11
I'll be late for the first round	0:21:11	0:21:12
of the teacher of the year competition.	0:21:12	0:21:14
Have fun on the beach, boys.	0:21:14	0:21:15
Stay near the lifeguard. Meet me at the went away go	0:21:15	0:21:17
for dinner AT 6:00 sharp!	0:21:17	0:21:18
Reapply your sunblock every two hours!	0:21:18	0:21:20
Don't go in the water for at least half an hour after you...	0:21:20	0:21:22
Mom!	0:21:22	0:21:23
OK, just wish me luck!	0:21:23	0:21:25
Luck! Luck!	0:21:25	0:21:27
All right, she's gone.	0:21:27	0:21:28
We've got the whole day to ourselves.	0:21:28	0:21:30
Leonard, I think it's time to make somebody's dream come true.	0:21:30	0:21:34
Way ahead of you, pal.	0:21:34	0:21:36
Fetch! SPOT: Excuse me?	0:21:36	0:21:37
That's my dream. You know,	0:21:37	0:21:39
a guy and his dog, the beach, the stick,	0:21:39	0:21:42
the waves, the water.	0:21:42	0:21:45
SPOT: Uh, Leonard,	0:21:45	0:21:47
I think we have slightly different dreams.	0:21:47	0:21:49
We do? What's your dream?	0:21:49	0:21:51
Well, heh heh heh,	0:21:51	0:21:53
I guess maybe I should've mentioned it earlier,	0:21:53	0:21:55
but see, there was this...	0:21:55	0:21:57
WAVES CRASH	0:21:57	0:21:58
...and changed to that...	0:21:58	0:22:00
MUSIC BLARES	0:22:00	0:22:01
...and concerned...	0:22:01	0:22:02
BIRDS SQUAWK	0:22:02	0:22:04
..and that's the real reason I had to come to Florida.	0:22:04	0:22:07
Oh. I get it.	0:22:07	0:22:09
I thought you came to be with me,	0:22:09	0:22:11
but you really just came for the ride.	0:22:11	0:22:14
No, I did come to be with you...	0:22:14	0:22:16
And for the ride.	0:22:16	0:22:18
Aw, please, Lenny!	0:22:18	0:22:19
I gotta have a shot at my dream.	0:22:19	0:22:22
I don't know.	0:22:22	0:22:23
It all sounds so wacko.	0:22:23	0:22:25
Anyway, you're not supposed to be a boy.	0:22:25	0:22:27
You're supposed to be my dog.	0:22:27	0:22:29
WHIMPERS	0:22:29	0:22:30
Oh, don't give me the eyes.	0:22:30	0:22:32
No, not the sad walk away.	0:22:32	0:22:34
Forget it. No.	0:22:34	0:22:35
WHIMPERING	0:22:35	0:22:38
Oh, all right.	0:22:38	0:22:39
We'll find this Dr Krank guy.	0:22:39	0:22:41
But as soon as you see that I'm right	0:22:41	0:22:43
and he's nuts,	0:22:43	0:22:45
we'll march right back here,	0:22:45	0:22:46
you'll be a dog, I'll throw a stick,	0:22:46	0:22:48
and we'll make my summer dream come true!	0:22:48	0:22:50
PTOO: Good boy.	0:22:52	0:22:54
WOMAN ON TV: Juan.	0:22:54	0:22:55
MAN ON TV: Marcia.	0:22:55	0:22:57
CRYING: Juan!	0:22:57	0:22:58
CRYING: Marcia!	0:22:58	0:23:00
SOBBING: Oh, the pathos and agony	0:23:00	0:23:03
of two beautifully coiffed people in love!	0:23:03	0:23:08
Yeah, yeah, been there, seen that.	0:23:08	0:23:10
What else is on?	0:23:10	0:23:12
Today, a Barry Anger show exclusive follow-up...	0:23:13	0:23:17
We return the spotlight to that wacko scientist	0:23:21	0:23:24
who claims he can turn animals human -	0:23:24	0:23:27
Dr Ivan Krank!	0:23:27	0:23:28
ALL: Wacko, wacko, wacko!	0:23:28	0:23:31
Jolly, that's the guy Spot went to see!	0:23:31	0:23:33
But why is Barry Anger returning the spotlight	0:23:33	0:23:35
to that wacko?	0:23:35	0:23:37
Why, you ask, am I returning my spotlight	0:23:37	0:23:40
to that wacko?	0:23:40	0:23:41
I'll let Officer White	0:23:41	0:23:43
of the Okeebachokee Bureau of Animal Safety explain.	0:23:43	0:23:46
Dr Ivan Krank is a dangerous fraud.	0:23:46	0:23:50
His experiments did not turn animals human at all.	0:23:50	0:23:53
They turned them into hideous, weird mutations	0:23:53	0:23:56
like this!	0:23:56	0:23:58
Aaah! Ohhh!	0:23:58	0:23:59
We have to go to Florida!	0:23:59	0:24:01
Why?	0:24:01	0:24:02
To keep Spot from being turned into that!	0:24:02	0:24:05
Ohhh!	0:24:05	0:24:06
This is no time to stand around	0:24:06	0:24:08
screaming silently. Come on!	0:24:08	0:24:11
Florida?! Florida's outside!	0:24:11	0:24:13
I'm an indoor kitty.	0:24:13	0:24:15
I'm s-s-scared of the o-o-outside.	0:24:15	0:24:18
Snap out of it, hairball!	0:24:18	0:24:19
Come on, dry those whiskers	0:24:19	0:24:21
and listen to me!	0:24:21	0:24:22
# You gotta believe	0:24:23	0:24:24
# You gotta be strong	0:24:24	0:24:26
# You gotta sharpen your claws	0:24:26	0:24:28
# Fluff up your tail, and sing this fighting song	0:24:28	0:24:31
# Small but mighty, small but mighty	0:24:31	0:24:34
# When you're powerful and wise	0:24:34	0:24:35
# You can rise above any size	0:24:35	0:24:37
# If you belittle being little	0:24:37	0:24:39
# Then your quest is doomed to fail	0:24:39	0:24:41
# But when you're small but mighty	0:24:41	0:24:42
# The mighty shall prevail	0:24:42	0:24:44
# You gotta persist I gotta persist	0:24:44	0:24:46
# Never say die Never say die	0:24:46	0:24:48
# You gotta be fast and fearless now	0:24:48	0:24:50
# And follow this battle cry	0:24:50	0:24:51
# Small but mighty	0:24:51	0:24:53
# Small but mighty	0:24:53	0:24:55
# When you're powerful and wise	0:24:55	0:24:57
# You can rise above any size	0:24:57	0:24:58
# If you belittle being little	0:24:58	0:25:00
# Then your quest is doomed to fail	0:25:00	0:25:02
# When you're small but mighty	0:25:02	0:25:04
# Small but mighty	0:25:04	0:25:05
# When you're small but mighty	0:25:05	0:25:08
# The mighty shall prevail! #	0:25:08	0:25:11
Onward!	0:25:11	0:25:13
Are you sure you got Dr Krank's address right?	0:25:20	0:25:24
Yeah, 666.	0:25:25	0:25:27
Wait. Look!	0:25:27	0:25:30
BOTH: Wow.	0:25:32	0:25:34
Look at all the high-techy-tech!	0:25:41	0:25:42
Ah ha ha! I can't stand it!	0:25:42	0:25:45
I'm gonna be a boy	0:25:45	0:25:48
HONK: Ooh!	0:25:48	0:25:49
SPOT: 665?	0:25:51	0:25:53
Oh, it must be the next one down that-a-way.	0:25:53	0:25:56
Heh heh heh.	0:25:58	0:26:00
Florida - land of surprises.	0:26:00	0:26:03
Trust me, fellas. It's a great gig.	0:26:03	0:26:06
24-hour a day soaps,	0:26:06	0:26:07
all the food you can eat -	0:26:07	0:26:08
where else are you gonna get a deal like that?	0:26:08	0:26:10
Dunno!	0:26:10	0:26:11
Oh, Spot!	0:26:14	0:26:15
And Pretty Boy!	0:26:15	0:26:17
And Mr Jolly!	0:26:17	0:26:18
Come on in, boys.	0:26:18	0:26:20
There's fresh food in the kitchen.	0:26:20	0:26:23
Her heart's in the right place,	0:26:23	0:26:24
but, boy, could she use a new set of bifocals.	0:26:24	0:26:27
Come on, Jolly, let's roll.	0:26:27	0:26:29
WHIMPERING: Are we there yet?	0:26:29	0:26:31
Oh!	0:26:31	0:26:32
Small but mighty.	0:26:32	0:26:34
Say it with me, baby!	0:26:34	0:26:36
SCREECH!	0:26:36	0:26:38
SPOT READING	0:26:45	0:26:47
SPOT: Well, he means business.	0:26:53	0:26:56
This can't be it.	0:27:02	0:27:03
DR KRANK: This is it!	0:27:03	0:27:06
After this experiment succeeds,	0:27:06	0:27:08
the world will never again	0:27:08	0:27:11
call me wacko!	0:27:11	0:27:13
And that includes you...	0:27:14	0:27:18
Mommy!	0:27:18	0:27:20
Uhh!	0:27:23	0:27:24
HUMMING	0:27:28	0:27:29
I have done it!	0:27:30	0:27:32
Success, at long last!	0:27:32	0:27:35
I have taken a frog, and made it...	0:27:35	0:27:38
Moo.	0:27:38	0:27:40
I have failed again.	0:27:41	0:27:45
See. He's nuts. It doesn't work.	0:27:46	0:27:48
Come on, let's go.	0:27:48	0:27:50
Well, of course it doesn't work on a frog.	0:27:50	0:27:52
Hello. It's a lower life form.	0:27:52	0:27:54
Moo.	0:27:54	0:27:56
No offence. None taken.	0:27:56	0:27:58
Dennis. Adele!	0:27:58	0:28:00
Get in here now and help me destroy	0:28:01	0:28:04
this stupid, worthless machine!	0:28:04	0:28:07
Don't call it stupid, daddy.	0:28:07	0:28:10
You made us with it.	0:28:10	0:28:12
And where is the glory in that?	0:28:12	0:28:14
And don't call me daddy!	0:28:14	0:28:16
You are not my children.	0:28:16	0:28:18
You're nothing but a couple	0:28:18	0:28:20
of mutant swamp creatures	0:28:20	0:28:22
who do nothing but remind me	0:28:22	0:28:23
of my life of failure!	0:28:23	0:28:25
Just cos you're having a bad day,	0:28:25	0:28:26
is it really necessary to dump on everyone else?	0:28:26	0:28:29
Yes, we may be failures,	0:28:29	0:28:31
but we're failures who love you.	0:28:31	0:28:35
Out of my way, you walking handbag!	0:28:35	0:28:37
SPOT: Um, hello?	0:28:39	0:28:40
Who is that?	0:28:40	0:28:41
Heh.	0:28:41	0:28:43
Jeez, he looked a lot shorter on TV.	0:28:43	0:28:46
Maybe it's the axe.	0:28:46	0:28:47
Allow me to introduce myself.	0:28:47	0:28:49
I am Scott Leadready II,	0:28:49	0:28:51
your newest subject.	0:28:51	0:28:53
The one that's finally going to work!	0:28:53	0:28:55
Dare you torment an old man?	0:28:55	0:28:59
You cannot help me! Aah!	0:28:59	0:29:01
You're nothing but a worthless boy!	0:29:01	0:29:05
You're wrong, Dr Krank.	0:29:05	0:29:07
I am a dog who wants to be a worthless boy.	0:29:07	0:29:10
I mean, who wants to be a boy.	0:29:10	0:29:13
Good lord, I was totally fooled.	0:29:15	0:29:17
Don't worry. Happens all the time.	0:29:17	0:29:19
Now, here's your problem as I see it, doc.	0:29:19	0:29:21
While your theories are scientifically sound	0:29:21	0:29:24
and your equipment technically flawless,	0:29:24	0:29:26
you keep hitting a failure point	0:29:26	0:29:28
when it comes to the selection	0:29:28	0:29:29
of your subjects.	0:29:29	0:29:31
See, you've been experimenting	0:29:31	0:29:32
on swamp creatures,	0:29:32	0:29:35
insects, and, er, reptiles.	0:29:35	0:29:37
And all-ee-gators!	0:29:37	0:29:40
All-ee-gators are reptiles.	0:29:40	0:29:43
Proceed.	0:29:44	0:29:45
Mm-hmm. But the fact is, Dr Krank,	0:29:45	0:29:48
if you want to make a man,	0:29:48	0:29:49
you've got to start with a mammal!	0:29:49	0:29:51
Yes. Of course. It's so simple,	0:29:51	0:29:54
and yet so utterly brilliant!	0:29:54	0:29:57
Ha ha ha!	0:29:57	0:29:59
SIGHS: I wish I had a nickel	0:29:59	0:30:00
for every time I've heard that.	0:30:00	0:30:02
I shall give you a nickel...	0:30:02	0:30:05
If you will be my mammal.	0:30:05	0:30:08
I'll take it!	0:30:08	0:30:10
Then I shall make you a boy.	0:30:10	0:30:13
Oh, boy!	0:30:13	0:30:15
Oh, no!	0:30:15	0:30:16
Spot, this is wrong.	0:30:16	0:30:18
This is going against nature.	0:30:18	0:30:19
Nature. Feh!	0:30:19	0:30:21
I am a man of science!	0:30:21	0:30:23
You're a wacko of science!	0:30:23	0:30:25
Who do you think you are?	0:30:25	0:30:26
I'll tell you who I am.	0:30:26	0:30:29
Or, better yet, I'll sing it!	0:30:29	0:30:31
Maestro,	0:30:31	0:30:32
a tango, if you please.	0:30:32	0:30:35
TANGO PLAYS	0:30:35	0:30:38
# I was born with a brain	0:30:38	0:30:40
# That could not be contained	0:30:40	0:30:41
# So they tortured and teased me	0:30:41	0:30:43
# And called me insane	0:30:43	0:30:44
# It was bad, very bad	0:30:44	0:30:46
# Even mom called me mad	0:30:46	0:30:48
# Any child would go wild from the pain	0:30:48	0:30:50
# Raised on rage and defiance	0:30:50	0:30:54
# I turned my cerebrum to science	0:30:54	0:30:57
# I tinkered and toiled until my beakers all boiled	0:30:57	0:31:00
# And I built this amazing appliance	0:31:00	0:31:03
# Now the whole world will see	0:31:03	0:31:05
# The genius in me	0:31:05	0:31:07
# While I stand on the shoulders of giants	0:31:07	0:31:09
# Ha ha ha!	0:31:09	0:31:11
# I am I, Ivan Krank	0:31:11	0:31:15
# Just a man way ahead of his time	0:31:15	0:31:18
# Allow me to be frank	0:31:18	0:31:21
# I'm much hipper than old Dr Frankenstein	0:31:21	0:31:24
# I am I, Ivan Krank	0:31:24	0:31:27
# And you may call me wacko or weird	0:31:27	0:31:31
# But you'll have me to thank	0:31:31	0:31:33
# When this pup that you've reared	0:31:33	0:31:35
# Is no longer wet-nosed, waggy-tailed, or dog-eared	0:31:35	0:31:37
# He'll be human, like you, man	0:31:37	0:31:39
# The world will all cheer	0:31:39	0:31:41
# For the genius that is I	0:31:41	0:31:44
# Ivan Krank! #	0:31:44	0:31:45
Let the neuro exchange	0:31:47	0:31:48
animal transformation operation,	0:31:48	0:31:51
or NEATO for short -	0:31:51	0:31:52
not to be confused with that stupid teacher award -	0:31:52	0:31:55
begin!	0:31:55	0:31:56
ROCK MUSIC PLAYS	0:31:56	0:31:57
POWER STARTS	0:31:59	0:32:01
No-o-o-o-o!	0:32:01	0:32:03
ZAP!	0:32:03	0:32:04
ELECTRICITY SURGING	0:32:04	0:32:06
CHIMES	0:32:09	0:32:11
LEONARD: Spot, this is wrong!	0:32:11	0:32:12
VOICES ECHO	0:32:12	0:32:15
LEONARD: You're supposed to be my dog.	0:32:15	0:32:17
Then I shall make you a boy.	0:32:19	0:32:22
ECHOES	0:32:22	0:32:23
HEART BEATS	0:32:23	0:32:25
GASPS	0:32:25	0:32:26
Oh, it's alive.	0:32:26	0:32:30
It's alive!	0:32:30	0:32:32
That's a good start!	0:32:32	0:32:34
Dennis. Adele!	0:32:34	0:32:36
Remove the bandages,	0:32:36	0:32:38
and let us witness...	0:32:38	0:32:39
What I hath wrought!	0:32:39	0:32:42
GASPS: Mein gott in himmel.	0:32:44	0:32:46
Whoa.	0:32:46	0:32:47
Daddy did it!	0:32:47	0:32:48
SPOT: I gotta see!	0:32:48	0:32:50
I'm a boy. I'm a boy!	0:32:50	0:32:53
I'm a really big boy.	0:32:53	0:32:57
You're not a boy, Scott.	0:32:57	0:32:59
You're a man.	0:32:59	0:33:00
I'm a man?	0:33:00	0:33:02
I don't understand.	0:33:02	0:33:04
How could I be a man?	0:33:04	0:33:07
Great balls of kibble!	0:33:07	0:33:09
I forgot all about dog time!	0:33:09	0:33:11
That's right!	0:33:11	0:33:13
One human year equals seven dog years.	0:33:13	0:33:15
That would make you...	0:33:15	0:33:17
Don't do the maths.	0:33:17	0:33:18
GRUNTS	0:33:18	0:33:21
Er, it's not exactly what I had planned,	0:33:21	0:33:25
but I'm human,	0:33:25	0:33:27
and that's nothing to shake your tail at.	0:33:27	0:33:30
How can I thank you?	0:33:30	0:33:31
Oh, it will be thanks enough	0:33:31	0:33:33
that you spend the rest of your life	0:33:33	0:33:35
travelling around the world with me	0:33:35	0:33:37
as living proof of my genius!	0:33:37	0:33:40
Ah. Well, er, gee,	0:33:40	0:33:42
fun as that sounds for me,	0:33:42	0:33:44
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to pass.	0:33:44	0:33:46
I can't spend the rest of my life with you.	0:33:46	0:33:48
I-I-I live with this guy...	0:33:48	0:33:50
At his house, in his room.	0:33:50	0:33:53
I sleep on the bottom bunk.	0:33:53	0:33:54
Heh. Although, now that I'm a big, grown man	0:33:54	0:33:57
with knuckle hair and... uhh...lower back pain,	0:33:57	0:34:00
that may present a slight problem.	0:34:00	0:34:02
But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.	0:34:03	0:34:06
Let's go, Leonard!	0:34:06	0:34:07
No!	0:34:07	0:34:08
Aah!	0:34:08	0:34:10
CLANG!	0:34:10	0:34:11
You're not going anywhere, my precious man.	0:34:12	0:34:16
I made you, I own you.	0:34:16	0:34:18
You're mine! Come, Dennis, Adele!	0:34:18	0:34:20
We must begin making plans	0:34:20	0:34:22
for the Ivan Krank world vindication tour!	0:34:22	0:34:26
First the United Nations,	0:34:26	0:34:28
then my high school reunion.	0:34:28	0:34:29
No, wait!	0:34:31	0:34:32
Nuts!	0:34:34	0:34:35
Over here!	0:34:35	0:34:37
Get down!	0:34:39	0:34:40
BOTH GASP	0:34:44	0:34:46
BOY: Hi, Uncle Ivan!	0:34:47	0:34:48
The bus from East Westland	0:34:48	0:34:50
was a little late, but here I am!	0:34:50	0:34:53
Ian?	0:34:53	0:34:54
Leonard? What are you doing	0:34:55	0:34:56
in my uncle's laboratory?	0:34:56	0:34:58
And who are you, mister,	0:34:58	0:35:00
and why are you all dressed up	0:35:00	0:35:01
like Scott Leadready II?	0:35:01	0:35:03
Uh, no time to explain, strange little boy	0:35:03	0:35:06
I've never met before in my life.	0:35:06	0:35:08
Ian, can you help us get out of here?	0:35:08	0:35:10
What'll you give me if I do?	0:35:10	0:35:11
Um, all I've got is this, er,	0:35:11	0:35:14
slimy old dog chew toy	0:35:14	0:35:16
and a shiny new nickel.	0:35:16	0:35:18
Mm-hmm. Ohh...	0:35:18	0:35:21
Holding out on me, huh?	0:35:21	0:35:23
Hey, give me that chew toy!	0:35:23	0:35:25
OK, let's see now.	0:35:27	0:35:28
Decode secret password,	0:35:28	0:35:30
override security check,	0:35:30	0:35:32
bypass concealed alarm cookie,	0:35:32	0:35:34
and...bingo!	0:35:34	0:35:36
Doors clang open	0:35:36	0:35:38
Wow!	0:35:38	0:35:40
How did you do that?	0:35:40	0:35:42
Oh, come on. This was easy.	0:35:42	0:35:43
Reprogramming the queen's toilets	0:35:43	0:35:45
for a 21-flush salute - now, that was hard.	0:35:45	0:35:48
Thanks, Ian.	0:35:49	0:35:50
Thank you, stranger.	0:35:50	0:35:51
You're welcome, stranger.	0:35:51	0:35:53
Well, as long as I'm here...	0:35:53	0:35:57
Hee hee hee.	0:35:57	0:35:58
Ooh, they'll love this.	0:35:58	0:36:00
Ohh. What's all this, then?	0:36:02	0:36:04
Ohh! Ohh!	0:36:04	0:36:06
Oh, blast that blasted Waszelewski kid!	0:36:06	0:36:09
BOTH PANT	0:36:10	0:36:12
Quick, hop in!	0:36:14	0:36:15
Boo-yah! Uhh!	0:36:17	0:36:18
Hmm. I must work out.	0:36:19	0:36:21
Come on, Scott! Scott!	0:36:21	0:36:23
Hey, wait for me!	0:36:23	0:36:26
Old habits die hard.	0:36:28	0:36:29
DR KRANK: They've escaped!	0:36:31	0:36:32
Dennis, Adele, find them!	0:36:32	0:36:34
You betcha!	0:36:34	0:36:35
Right away, Daddy.	0:36:35	0:36:37
Hmm. Nothing here.	0:36:40	0:36:42
Hmm.	0:36:42	0:36:43
Not in here, you fools.	0:36:43	0:36:46
Out there!	0:36:46	0:36:48
Hurry!	0:36:48	0:36:49
Yes, sir, Daddy.	0:36:49	0:36:51
Uhh!	0:36:51	0:36:52
And don't call me daddy!	0:36:53	0:36:56
How could a man as brilliant as I	0:36:56	0:36:57
have created something as stupid as them?	0:36:57	0:36:59
I can't believe they let my dog-man escape!	0:36:59	0:37:01
Oh, don't blame them, Uncle Ivan. I let 'em go.	0:37:01	0:37:04
Ah. Ian!	0:37:04	0:37:05
Ahh. Ian, my darling nephew,	0:37:05	0:37:09
the only one who ever truly believed in me.	0:37:09	0:37:11
Welcome to my home!	0:37:11	0:37:12
However, now that you've ruined everything,	0:37:12	0:37:14
I must ground you for the rest of the summer.	0:37:14	0:37:16
So go to your room. Don't come out till Labour Day!	0:37:16	0:37:18
Yes, uncle Ivan.	0:37:18	0:37:20
Grounded again.	0:37:21	0:37:22
Jeez, I could've saved a bus ride.	0:37:22	0:37:25
What was I so afraid of all these years?	0:37:27	0:37:30
The outside is very nice.	0:37:30	0:37:32
Pleasant, even. One might go so far	0:37:32	0:37:35
as to say invig-amarating.	0:37:35	0:37:37
Told ya.	0:37:37	0:37:38
But we're not going very fast.	0:37:38	0:37:39
How long will it take us to get to Spot?	0:37:39	0:37:42
Oh, we should start making	0:37:42	0:37:43
some real progress any second now.	0:37:43	0:37:45
Bo-o-o-oard!	0:37:45	0:37:47
Aaaaaah!	0:37:52	0:37:55
Man, I'm gettin' hungry.	0:37:56	0:37:57
Yeah, me, too.	0:37:57	0:37:59
And if these pants ride up any more,	0:37:59	0:38:01
I'm gonna be a soprano.	0:38:01	0:38:03
I gotta get me some new clothes.	0:38:03	0:38:06
We need to get us some money.	0:38:06	0:38:09
Yeah, but how?	0:38:09	0:38:10
Whoa!	0:38:10	0:38:12
What?	0:38:13	0:38:14
that'll do. That'll do.	0:38:19	0:38:20
Come on, let's go find that dog	0:38:20	0:38:23
and get us some money!	0:38:23	0:38:25
How?	0:38:25	0:38:26
The twilight bark.	0:38:26	0:38:28
The what?	0:38:28	0:38:30
Uhh!	0:38:30	0:38:31
Oh, we gotta start renting you	0:38:31	0:38:32
some more classic animated movies.	0:38:32	0:38:34
Leonard, the twilight bark	0:38:34	0:38:36
is that free worldwide	0:38:36	0:38:38
long-distance server,	0:38:38	0:38:39
through which dogs all over the world	0:38:39	0:38:42
have been communicating since the dawn of time.	0:38:42	0:38:44
DOGS HOWL	0:38:44	0:38:46
now, let's just hope	0:38:46	0:38:47
I still got enough dog left in me.	0:38:47	0:38:49
CLEARS THROAT	0:38:49	0:38:50
Aawooooo!	0:38:50	0:38:55
MAN IN DISTANCE: Shut that dog up!	0:38:55	0:38:56
Hmm. I guess it didn't work.	0:38:56	0:38:58
Oh, no, my human-eared friend?	0:38:58	0:39:01
DOGS BARK	0:39:01	0:39:02
Yes. Thank you!	0:39:02	0:39:04
I mean...awoooo!	0:39:04	0:39:09
Come on, let's go.	0:39:09	0:39:11
Thank you. Awooo!	0:39:11	0:39:13
Thank you! Awoooo!	0:39:13	0:39:15
Jeez, this could go on all day.	0:39:15	0:39:18
DOORBELL RINGS	0:39:18	0:39:20
Lady!	0:39:20	0:39:21
Turns out she wasn't really lost.	0:39:21	0:39:23
She was just, heh, kinda busy.	0:39:23	0:39:26
GIRL: Oh, puppies! DAD: My!	0:39:26	0:39:29
How can we thank you?	0:39:29	0:39:30
Gee, I can think of a hundred ways.	0:39:30	0:39:33
Oh, er, I can't give you 100.	0:39:33	0:39:36
But... That's OK, Leonard.	0:39:36	0:39:38
A good deed is its own reward.	0:39:38	0:39:40
DAD LAUGHS	0:39:40	0:39:41
You brought back five dogs!	0:39:41	0:39:43
So I'm giving you 500!	0:39:43	0:39:46
All right!	0:39:47	0:39:49
I knew you weren't a big, fat cheapskate!	0:39:49	0:39:52
I'm sorry. Was that out loud?	0:39:52	0:39:54
We're rich! We're rich!	0:39:54	0:39:56
We're rich! We're rich!	0:39:56	0:39:57
Come on, Bunky.	0:39:57	0:39:58
Let's go eat and buy pants	0:39:58	0:40:00
and do all the stuff you can only do	0:40:00	0:40:02
when you're all grown up	0:40:02	0:40:03
and got 500 to burn!	0:40:03	0:40:06
# Though money may be	0:40:06	0:40:07
# The root of all evil	0:40:07	0:40:09
# Money, it might not buy you love	0:40:09	0:40:13
# Money won't bring you happiness	0:40:13	0:40:15
# Or grow new hair or cure your stress	0:40:15	0:40:17
# Or get you to the Pearly Gates above	0:40:17	0:40:20
# But there's a bunch of things that money can do	0:40:20	0:40:22
# Put a shirt on your back and a shine on your shoe	0:40:22	0:40:24
# When the cash shows up, I don't say "boo"	0:40:24	0:40:26
# I take the money and run	0:40:26	0:40:28
# Cos love can't buy a fancy car	0:40:28	0:40:30
# Or fill your tank	0:40:30	0:40:32
# If you want the finer things	0:40:32	0:40:33
# You better break the bank	0:40:33	0:40:35
# Cos if there's one sure thing that money can do	0:40:35	0:40:37
# Put the pedal to the metal when the rent comes due	0:40:37	0:40:39
# When the money shows up, baby, don't say "boo"	0:40:39	0:40:41
# Just take the money and run, oh, yeah	0:40:41	0:40:43
# Take the money and run	0:40:43	0:40:45
# Go, man, get your stash, grab your cash	0:40:45	0:40:47
# Take the money and run. #	0:40:47	0:40:50
CHICKENS CLUCK	0:40:50	0:40:51
IAN: Mom, Dad, I am a prisoner	0:40:51	0:40:54
in this chamber of horrors!	0:40:54	0:40:56
The whole place is filled with evil smells	0:40:56	0:40:59
and moans and ghastly shrieks!	0:40:59	0:41:03
There's lightning and thunder	0:41:03	0:41:04
and scary bumps in the night!	0:41:04	0:41:07
Come home. No way! I love it here!	0:41:07	0:41:10
Ha ha ha ha ha!	0:41:10	0:41:11
DR KRANK: Ian?	0:41:11	0:41:13
How many times must I tell you	0:41:13	0:41:15
to stay off the phone?	0:41:15	0:41:16
I want to call out for a pizza.	0:41:16	0:41:18
DENNIS: Extra anchovies on mine, please!	0:41:18	0:41:22
Dennis. Adele! You're back!	0:41:22	0:41:24
Where is my dog-man?	0:41:24	0:41:25
Before we answer,	0:41:25	0:41:26
could we have our pizza, Daddy?	0:41:26	0:41:29
Go! Aah!	0:41:29	0:41:30
And don't return without him!	0:41:30	0:41:33
And don't call me...	0:41:33	0:41:36
Daddy!	0:41:36	0:41:38
Uhh!	0:41:39	0:41:40
Uhh!	0:41:40	0:41:42
I betcha that little boy	0:41:42	0:41:44
would've given his dog some pizza.	0:41:44	0:41:46
Thank god the other mosquitoes in the swamp	0:41:46	0:41:49
can't see me now.	0:41:49	0:41:51
They all laughed at me, but did I listen?	0:41:51	0:41:53
No, I was going to be the world's first	0:41:53	0:41:56
insect-to-human transformation.	0:41:56	0:41:59
Hmm. And look at me now.	0:41:59	0:42:01
Stuck in the middle - neither fish nor fowl.	0:42:01	0:42:04
You're also not a goat. Or a pig.	0:42:04	0:42:07
Or a bucket of marbles.	0:42:07	0:42:09
Whoa!	0:42:09	0:42:10
Ohh, please, just squish me now.	0:42:10	0:42:13
# Hot diggity dog! #	0:42:15	0:42:17
So far this has been	0:42:17	0:42:19
the greatest day of my life!	0:42:19	0:42:20
And I've only been a man for, what, like, five hours?	0:42:20	0:42:23
Five hours?	0:42:23	0:42:24
Shoot, we promised mom we'd be home by 6:00.	0:42:24	0:42:27
Whoa. Was that just this morning?	0:42:27	0:42:29
Whew! Time sure flies when you're changing species.	0:42:29	0:42:34
What time you got?	0:42:39	0:42:40
Uh, a minute TILL 6.	0:42:40	0:42:41
Let's go!	0:42:41	0:42:43
Wait. We forgot one really important thing!	0:42:43	0:42:45
What?!	0:42:45	0:42:46
Who are you, sir?	0:42:46	0:42:48
That.	0:42:48	0:42:49
Oh, yeah.	0:42:49	0:42:51
Well, I'll tell ya. I'm, er...	0:42:51	0:42:54
Well, you certainly look familiar.	0:42:54	0:42:55
Wait a ding-dang- doodle-doo minute.	0:42:55	0:42:57
You're not one of my fellow finalists	0:42:57	0:42:59
in the teacher of the year competition, are you?	0:42:59	0:43:01
Uh, why, yes. Yes I am.	0:43:01	0:43:04
DEEP VOICE: Uh, I am a teacher.	0:43:04	0:43:06
And a darn good one, too,	0:43:06	0:43:08
who appreciates a fellow darn good teacher enough	0:43:08	0:43:11
to come all the way down here	0:43:11	0:43:12
to this lovely went-away-go park to say,	0:43:12	0:43:15
"may the best darn good teacher win."	0:43:15	0:43:18
Well, isn't that kind of you?	0:43:18	0:43:20
Honey, where's Scott?	0:43:20	0:43:21
Uh... And, er...	0:43:21	0:43:23
That's the other reason I came.	0:43:23	0:43:25
Uh, to tell you that, er...	0:43:25	0:43:28
Scott's family called,	0:43:28	0:43:29
and he had to go home after all,	0:43:29	0:43:30
and he needed a grownup to help,	0:43:30	0:43:32
and I obviously am a grown-up...	0:43:32	0:43:35
Human man person.	0:43:35	0:43:38
Ahh. Obviously.	0:43:38	0:43:40
Ah ha ha. You know Scott Leadready II?	0:43:40	0:43:43
Do I know Scott Leadready II?	0:43:43	0:43:45
Only better than I know myself, ma'am.	0:43:45	0:43:48
You're pushing it.	0:43:48	0:43:50
Well, any friend of the Leadreadys	0:43:50	0:43:51
is a friend of mine. I'm Mary Lou.	0:43:51	0:43:53
I'm Scott.	0:43:53	0:43:55
Just like Scott Leadready.	0:43:55	0:43:56
Oh, er, right. Heh.	0:43:56	0:43:58
Common name.	0:43:58	0:44:00
Lots of Scotts. Scotts R Us. Heh heh.	0:44:00	0:44:02
But I'm Scott, er...	0:44:02	0:44:04
Manly! Manning!	0:44:04	0:44:05
It's a hyphenate.	0:44:05	0:44:06
Scott Manly-Manning.	0:44:06	0:44:08
Well, Mr Manly-Manning,	0:44:08	0:44:10
it's a pleasure to meet you.	0:44:10	0:44:11
Yeah, sorry you gotta leave so soon.	0:44:11	0:44:13
Great gettin' to know you. Just a little,	0:44:13	0:44:15
but not too much. Bye.	0:44:15	0:44:16
Leonard. Where did you park your manners?	0:44:16	0:44:18
Ha ha ha. After all the trouble	0:44:18	0:44:20
Mr Manly-Manning has gone to,	0:44:20	0:44:22
the least we can do is invite him in	0:44:22	0:44:24
for a cup of coffee.	0:44:24	0:44:25
Coffee?	0:44:25	0:44:26
I've always wanted to try coffee.	0:44:26	0:44:29
Boy, it's true what they say! What a beverage!	0:44:29	0:44:31
Who'd believe that little brown bean from Brazil	0:44:31	0:44:33
could pack such mellow, rich-roasting,	0:44:33	0:44:34
good-to-the-last-drop flavour? By the way,	0:44:34	0:44:36
were you aware that it was our 26th president -	0:44:36	0:44:37
Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt -	0:44:37	0:44:38
who originally coined the phrase "good to the last drop"?	0:44:38	0:44:40
Little-known fact, but true.	0:44:40	0:44:41
Yes, I think one of my students	0:44:41	0:44:43
mentioned that once. I can't remember which one.	0:44:43	0:44:45
You can't remember which one?	0:44:45	0:44:46
For cryin' out loud, it's obviously...	0:44:46	0:44:48
Time for you to go now. What a shame.	0:44:48	0:44:50
Thanks for stopping by. See you later.	0:44:50	0:44:51
Hey. What's the hurry, junior?	0:44:51	0:44:53
I'm still on my first cup of Joe.	0:44:53	0:44:55
If you don't get outta here,	0:44:55	0:44:56
you're gonna blow it. You're gonna say something	0:44:56	0:44:58
or do something or drink something	0:44:58	0:45:00
and just blow it! Well, see ya!	0:45:00	0:45:03
MARY LOU: Leonard Amadeus Helperman,	0:45:03	0:45:04
we don't just put our guests out the door	0:45:04	0:45:05
like the evening trash.	0:45:05	0:45:06
Ohh, now, now, Mary Lou.	0:45:06	0:45:09
Don't be upset with Leonard.	0:45:09	0:45:10
He's just a boy.	0:45:10	0:45:12
Oh, come off it!	0:45:12	0:45:13
Mister, you are out of control!	0:45:13	0:45:15
Now, you go straight to your...	0:45:15	0:45:16
Curtained-off section of the went away go	0:45:18	0:45:20
until you're ready to rejoin polite society for dinner!	0:45:20	0:45:22
Ha ha.	0:45:22	0:45:23
Speaking of dinner, are you hungry?	0:45:23	0:45:25
Hey. I'm always hungry.	0:45:25	0:45:27
I'm a dog...gone hungry guy.	0:45:27	0:45:29
You are so gonna blow it.	0:45:29	0:45:33
CHOMPING	0:45:37	0:45:39
Aahh. I couldn't eat another bite.	0:45:42	0:45:44
Care for a "chocolat"?	0:45:44	0:45:47
Ohh. Chocolate is poison for dogs.	0:45:47	0:45:51
I know. Aren't we lucky we're human?	0:45:51	0:45:53
Yes, we are!	0:45:54	0:45:57
BELCHES	0:46:02	0:46:03
Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want one?	0:46:04	0:46:07
# Someone has a sweet tooth! #	0:46:07	0:46:10
Ahh, what can I say?	0:46:10	0:46:12
There's something about eating under the stars	0:46:12	0:46:15
at a table, sitting in a chair,	0:46:15	0:46:17
using a fork,	0:46:17	0:46:19
that just makes everything taste so good.	0:46:19	0:46:21
Well, to me, it's not the food,	0:46:21	0:46:23
it's the company. Heh heh heh.	0:46:23	0:46:27
I don't know why, but it's as if	0:46:27	0:46:30
I've known you for a very long time.	0:46:30	0:46:32
You're just so comfy to be with,	0:46:32	0:46:34
like an old shoe.	0:46:34	0:46:35
Oh, I mean that in a good way.	0:46:35	0:46:37
Hey, nothin' I love more than an old shoe.	0:46:37	0:46:39
Woof!	0:46:39	0:46:40
Uh, to wear, I mean.	0:46:40	0:46:42
Ah ha ha ha ha!	0:46:42	0:46:44
You say the most unusual things.	0:46:44	0:46:47
But I like it.	0:46:47	0:46:48
Golly gosh, I wish there was	0:46:48	0:46:50
someone like you back home.	0:46:50	0:46:52
You do?	0:46:52	0:46:53
Hold that thought. I'll be right back.	0:46:53	0:46:55
Well...	0:46:55	0:46:57
He did drink a lot of coffee.	0:46:57	0:46:59
BIG SCOTT: Leonard!	0:46:59	0:47:00
You are gonna be so proud of me!	0:47:00	0:47:02
We can stop worrying how I'm gonna live	0:47:02	0:47:04
and where I'm gonna sleep	0:47:04	0:47:06
and how we're gonna stay together.	0:47:06	0:47:07
I've stumbled upon the answer,	0:47:07	0:47:09
and it doesn't even matter	0:47:09	0:47:11
that I'm a hairy-knuckled grownup	0:47:11	0:47:12
with back pain.	0:47:12	0:47:13
CRACK: Ooch!	0:47:13	0:47:15
In fact, it works to our advantage!	0:47:15	0:47:18
You're kidding!	0:47:18	0:47:19
Of course, I won't be sleeping	0:47:19	0:47:20
at the bottom bunk anymore,	0:47:20	0:47:21
but I promise I'll tuck you in	0:47:21	0:47:23
and tell you a bedtime story	0:47:23	0:47:24
before I settle in	0:47:24	0:47:26
to watch the News with...	0:47:26	0:47:28
Mary Lou.	0:47:28	0:47:29
Who?	0:47:29	0:47:30
You know. Your mom.	0:47:30	0:47:32
Oh, he cleaned his plate so well.	0:47:32	0:47:35
GASPS: I can see myself!	0:47:35	0:47:37
I know who Mary Lou is,	0:47:38	0:47:40
but why would you be watching the news with her?	0:47:40	0:47:42
And why is she dancing around with your dinner plate?	0:47:42	0:47:45
Unless...	0:47:45	0:47:46
BARKS	0:47:49	0:47:51
Oh, no!	0:47:52	0:47:53
Oh, yes!	0:47:53	0:47:54
Isn't it perfect?	0:47:54	0:47:56
She likes me,	0:47:56	0:47:57
I've always loved her.	0:47:57	0:47:59
You and I still get to be together.	0:47:59	0:48:01
Climb up on my lap, sonny boy,	0:48:01	0:48:03
and call me daddy!	0:48:03	0:48:05
Are you crazy?	0:48:05	0:48:07
You can't be my dad! You're my dog!	0:48:07	0:48:10
Hey, people change.	0:48:10	0:48:11
Come on, it'll be great.	0:48:11	0:48:14
I'll teach you how to shave,	0:48:14	0:48:15
take you fishing,	0:48:15	0:48:16
holler at your little league coach	0:48:16	0:48:18
when he doesn't play you enough.	0:48:18	0:48:19
Maybe I'll even get ya a little puppy.	0:48:19	0:48:21
Mister, you are out of control.	0:48:21	0:48:23
What. You gonna send me to my room?	0:48:23	0:48:25
I think that's my job, Son.	0:48:25	0:48:28
No. No, this is not OK with me.	0:48:28	0:48:31
You have to stop liking my mom right now!	0:48:31	0:48:34
Oh, in all fairness, Son,	0:48:34	0:48:36
I believe Mary Lou should have	0:48:36	0:48:37
something to say about this.	0:48:37	0:48:39
And stop calling her Mary Lou!	0:48:39	0:48:41
And stop calling me son!	0:48:41	0:48:43
I command you, as your master!	0:48:43	0:48:46
Former master, Leonard!	0:48:46	0:48:47
I'm not your dog anymore!	0:48:47	0:48:49
Well, I sure as heck am not your kid!	0:48:49	0:48:51
So maybe you'd just better leave me	0:48:51	0:48:53
and my mom alone!	0:48:53	0:48:55
You...want me to go?	0:48:56	0:48:59
But...what about us?	0:48:59	0:49:01
You and me?	0:49:01	0:49:03
A friend needs a friend.	0:49:03	0:49:05
That was a different us.	0:49:05	0:49:08
Yeah. I guess it was.	0:49:08	0:49:11
Wait a minute.	0:49:13	0:49:14
Yeah?	0:49:14	0:49:15
I paid for that collar and dog tag	0:49:15	0:49:17
with my own allowance.	0:49:17	0:49:18
But...	0:49:18	0:49:20
You don't need 'em.	0:49:20	0:49:21
You said it yourself.	0:49:21	0:49:23
You're not my dog anymore.	0:49:23	0:49:25
# Mrs Manly-Manning	0:49:42	0:49:45
# Mrs Mary Lou Manly-Manning	0:49:45	0:49:48
# Mrs Mary Lou Moira Angela Darling	0:49:48	0:49:51
# Helperman Manly-Manning! #	0:49:51	0:49:54
BIG SCOTT: I'm sorry I have to interrupt	0:49:54	0:49:56
this musical moment, Mary Lou.	0:49:56	0:49:57
I guess I'll never see you again.	0:49:57	0:49:59
# It's time for me to go	0:49:59	0:50:01
# Oh, me, oh, my, oh, no	0:50:01	0:50:02
# I've never been so low	0:50:02	0:50:04
# Oh, where did my dog-man...	0:50:04	0:50:05
# Go	0:50:05	0:50:07
# I gotta go, I don't know where	0:50:07	0:50:09
# I only know	0:50:09	0:50:11
# My former friend is now my foe	0:50:11	0:50:13
# He couldn't stand the status quo	0:50:13	0:50:15
# I said I'd stay, but he said no	0:50:15	0:50:18
# And now, doggone, this dog is gone	0:50:18	0:50:21
# I'm movin' on	0:50:21	0:50:24
# I gotta go	0:50:24	0:50:25
# Like a dream	0:50:25	0:50:26
# He was here, and now he's gone	0:50:26	0:50:29
# He drank my coffee, ate my candy	0:50:29	0:50:31
# Dreaming I could stand by my Manly-Manning man	0:50:31	0:50:33
# I thought everything was fine and dandy	0:50:33	0:50:37
# Why did he go?	0:50:37	0:50:39
# I'm gone Don't go	0:50:39	0:50:41
# Oh, no, what have I done?	0:50:41	0:50:42
# Oh, no	0:50:42	0:50:43
# I kicked him out	0:50:43	0:50:45
# He took the keys to freedom	0:50:45	0:50:46
BOTH: # Now he's going, now he's going	0:50:46	0:50:48
# Now he's gone	0:50:48	0:50:50
# My lovely dog-man	0:50:50	0:50:52
# Oh, precious, pretty dog-man	0:50:52	0:50:54
# Dear itty-bitty dog I made a man	0:50:54	0:50:56
# Where have you gone He took the keys	0:50:56	0:50:57
# You held the key to my success	0:50:57	0:50:58
# I'm no-one's pawn	0:50:58	0:51:00
# He's gone Was I a yawn?	0:51:00	0:51:01
# I'm moving on	0:51:01	0:51:02
# Find him	0:51:02	0:51:04
# Where did you go, dog-man	0:51:04	0:51:05
# We gotta go where you have gone, Spot	0:51:05	0:51:07
# We gotta know, dog-man	0:51:07	0:51:08
# We wanna know where you have gone, Scott	0:51:08	0:51:09
# We gotta go there, too	0:51:09	0:51:11
# I'm gone He's going, going	0:51:11	0:51:12
# I'm moving on Here comes the sun	0:51:12	0:51:14
# Come on, let's run You weigh a ton	0:51:14	0:51:16
SCOTT: # Pardon the pun, but I am going	0:51:16	0:51:18
# Without knowing	0:51:18	0:51:19
# There's a place where I belong	0:51:19	0:51:21
# Where he's gone	0:51:21	0:51:22
# I'm movin' on	0:51:22	0:51:24
# Where did you go, dog-man	0:51:24	0:51:26
# Where did you go, dog-man	0:51:26	0:51:28
# Where did you go, dog-man	0:51:28	0:51:30
# He's gone. #	0:51:30	0:51:32
Well, that was strange.	0:51:34	0:51:36
BOTH SCREAM	0:51:39	0:51:40
Aaaah!	0:51:42	0:51:43
Whoa...	0:51:45	0:51:46
GRUNTING	0:51:46	0:51:48
Aaaaah! Aaaah!	0:51:48	0:51:49
Ohh! Ohh!	0:51:50	0:51:52
PRETTY BOY: We made it.	0:51:57	0:51:58
We made it!	0:51:58	0:51:59
Florida at last!	0:51:59	0:52:00
I told you we were small but mighty!	0:52:00	0:52:03
MAN: Heh heh heh.	0:52:03	0:52:05
SPEAK SPANISH	0:52:05	0:52:07
Missed it by that much.	0:52:10	0:52:12
BOY: Spot, come here, boy!	0:52:15	0:52:17
Leonard?	0:52:17	0:52:18
BARKING LAUGHING	0:52:18	0:52:20
THUNDER	0:52:29	0:52:30
Aaww...	0:52:37	0:52:39
Now, remember, Lenny-benny-beanbag,	0:52:39	0:52:41
you're to meet me at the awards ceremony	0:52:41	0:52:42
at 6:00 sharp, You got it?	0:52:42	0:52:44
Whatever.	0:52:44	0:52:45
Aww, honey-bunny-boombox,	0:52:45	0:52:47
I know you miss your dog and your best friend,	0:52:47	0:52:49
but we're going home tomorrow,	0:52:49	0:52:50
and Spot and Scott'll be there waitin' for you,	0:52:50	0:52:52
and everything's gonna be peachy-pie normal	0:52:52	0:52:54
and just the way it was. Mwah!	0:52:54	0:52:56
Right. Just the way it was.	0:52:58	0:53:01
BOTH GRUNT	0:53:07	0:53:09
Florida, schmorida!	0:53:09	0:53:10
It's just Jersey with palm trees!	0:53:10	0:53:12
Well, I suppose most people	0:53:12	0:53:14
don't arrive by garbage truck.	0:53:14	0:53:17
On a more positive note,	0:53:17	0:53:18
I don't think there's anything in the world	0:53:18	0:53:19
I'll ever fear after this.	0:53:19	0:53:22
SHRIEKS It's a monster!	0:53:22	0:53:24
Hey!	0:53:25	0:53:27
It's just your reflection.	0:53:27	0:53:29
Oh. Aah!	0:53:29	0:53:30
It's me! I look hideous!	0:53:30	0:53:32
No argument there.	0:53:33	0:53:34
I'm goin' up for a bird's-eye view.	0:53:34	0:53:37
Dog-man!	0:53:46	0:53:48
Where are you?	0:53:48	0:53:50
My, oh, me,	0:54:02	0:54:03
it's a rain-a-roony-doodle day!	0:54:03	0:54:05
Whoo-hoo!	0:54:05	0:54:07
Bada-bing, baby!	0:54:09	0:54:12
Come on, hairball!	0:54:15	0:54:16
Great. Now you're out there somewhere	0:54:20	0:54:22
in the stupid rain	0:54:22	0:54:23
cos you just couldn't	0:54:23	0:54:25
leave well enough alone, could you?	0:54:25	0:54:26
No, you had to go mess up a great thing	0:54:28	0:54:30
just to make your stupid dream come true.	0:54:30	0:54:32
Bet you come crawling back any minute now,	0:54:32	0:54:35
cold and wet and tired and hungry	0:54:35	0:54:37
and sick of being a man	0:54:37	0:54:39
and wishing you could be my dog again.	0:54:39	0:54:41
Well, forget it! I'm not taking you back.	0:54:41	0:54:43
KNOCK ON DOOR	0:54:43	0:54:44
GASPS: Spot!	0:54:44	0:54:45
Ha ha!	0:54:45	0:54:47
Oh, it's you.	0:54:47	0:54:49
"Oh, it's you"?	0:54:49	0:54:51
We travelled 2,000 miles,	0:54:51	0:54:52
and all we get is, "oh, it's you"?!	0:54:52	0:54:54
Come on, Jolly, let's go home!	0:54:54	0:54:57
What?!	0:54:57	0:54:58
No, you guys. I'm sorry.	0:54:58	0:55:00
I'm really, really glad you're here.	0:55:00	0:55:03
I've never needed anyone more.	0:55:03	0:55:05
Now, that's a greeting.	0:55:05	0:55:06
Something's happened to Spot.	0:55:06	0:55:08
Sit down. It's a long story.	0:55:08	0:55:11
BLUES MUSIC PLAYING	0:55:11	0:55:13
So this is what it's like to be human, huh?	0:55:16	0:55:19
Sittin' alone in a dump on your tail-less butt,	0:55:23	0:55:27
just twiddlin' your opposable thumbs.	0:55:27	0:55:30
Top of the world, Ma!	0:55:30	0:55:33
SIGHS	0:55:33	0:55:34
CRIES	0:55:34	0:55:36
Top of the world.	0:55:36	0:55:38
HARMONICA PLAYING	0:55:38	0:55:40
What's that?	0:55:40	0:55:41
Sounds like that stupid song	0:55:41	0:55:45
Leonard always used to sing.	0:55:45	0:55:46
Oh, it is that stupid...	0:55:48	0:55:51
SOBBING ..beautiful song!	0:55:51	0:55:53
Oh, Leonard.	0:55:53	0:55:55
# I know it's been said	0:55:55	0:55:59
# Everyone needs someone	0:55:59	0:56:02
# A loyal companion	0:56:02	0:56:06
# To share in life's fun	0:56:06	0:56:09
# For a day at the park	0:56:09	0:56:12
# Or a game of leapfrog	0:56:12	0:56:16
# A friend needs a friend	0:56:16	0:56:19
# A boy needs a dog... #	0:56:19	0:56:25
LAUGHS	0:56:25	0:56:26
MUSIC PLAYING	0:56:26	0:56:28
# A small hand to shake	0:56:40	0:56:42
# Wanna run a race	0:56:42	0:56:44
# For a bowl full of grub	0:56:44	0:56:45
# What a funny face	0:56:45	0:56:47
# A face to be licked	0:56:47	0:56:49
# When a tummy gets rubbed	0:56:49	0:56:53
# Like a mom and a dad	0:56:53	0:56:56
# Need their bundle of joy	0:56:56	0:56:59
BOTH: # A friend needs a friend	0:56:59	0:57:02
# A dog needs a boy. #	0:57:02	0:57:05
PRETTY BOY SOBBING A classic!	0:57:05	0:57:07
Even a bird and a cockamamie cat	0:57:07	0:57:10
can see that!	0:57:10	0:57:11
SOBBING Yeah. Why couldn't Spot?	0:57:11	0:57:15
I don't know.	0:57:15	0:57:16
I guess we all have different dreams, right?	0:57:16	0:57:18
BOTH: Yeah.	0:57:18	0:57:19
And I guess...	0:57:19	0:57:20
if you really love someone,	0:57:20	0:57:22
like I love Spot,	0:57:22	0:57:24
you gotta let him have his dream, right?	0:57:24	0:57:26
Even if it's different from your dream, right?	0:57:26	0:57:28
BOTH: Yeah.	0:57:28	0:57:30
I know what I've gotta do!	0:57:30	0:57:32
There's only one way for us to be together again.	0:57:32	0:57:34
I've gotta go to Dr Krank	0:57:34	0:57:36
and have him change me into a dog!	0:57:36	0:57:39
BOTH: Yeah!	0:57:39	0:57:41
BOTH: What?!	0:57:41	0:57:42
See ya, guys!	0:57:42	0:57:43
I mean, woof!	0:57:43	0:57:45
SNAPS FINGERS	0:57:45	0:57:46
BOTH: No. Wait!	0:57:46	0:57:48
GRUNTS	0:57:48	0:57:49
Ow!	0:57:49	0:57:50
# I can't go on	0:57:53	0:57:54
# With just half of my heart	0:57:54	0:57:58
# Nothing and no-one	0:57:58	0:58:00
# Can keep us apart	0:58:00	0:58:04
BOTH: # It's a permanent bond	0:58:04	0:58:06
# We can never destroy	0:58:06	0:58:10
BIG SCOTT: # A friend needs a friend	0:58:10	0:58:13
LEONARD: # A friend needs a friend	0:58:13	0:58:15
# I've got to get back	0:58:15	0:58:17
# A boy needs a dog	0:58:17	0:58:19
# Needs a dog To my boy. #	0:58:19	0:58:26
Bunky, I'm back!	0:58:27	0:58:30
Pretty Boy. Jolly? What are you doing here?	0:58:30	0:58:32
Who is that strange man, and why is he talking to us?	0:58:32	0:58:35
I don't know. Just act dumb.	0:58:35	0:58:36
Uh, tweet.	0:58:36	0:58:38
Uhh! Meow, meow, meow.	0:58:38	0:58:40
Guys, it's me. It's Spot.	0:58:40	0:58:43
BOTH: Aah!	0:58:43	0:58:44
Oh, my. This is what you look like as a man?	0:58:44	0:58:47
Why. Is something wrong with it?	0:58:47	0:58:49
No, no. It was just a shock at first.	0:58:49	0:58:53
You could use a shave.	0:58:53	0:58:54
Really? I thought it was kind of edgy.	0:58:54	0:58:57
But forget that. Where's Leonard?	0:58:57	0:58:59
Oh, Spot, it's terrible.	0:58:59	0:59:01
He just ran out babbling some nonsense	0:59:01	0:59:03
about if you can't be his dog,	0:59:03	0:59:04
then he'll have to get that Dr Krank	0:59:04	0:59:06
to turn him into your dog.	0:59:06	0:59:08
That crazy kid.	0:59:08	0:59:10
Although I guess it could work.	0:59:10	0:59:11
No! No, what am I saying?	0:59:11	0:59:14
I've got to save my boy!	0:59:14	0:59:17
DR KRANK MUTTERING	0:59:17	0:59:19
CHUCKLES	0:59:21	0:59:23
This is perfect... Perfect.	0:59:23	0:59:25
Why, my plan could not have gone any better...	0:59:25	0:59:27
if I'd had a plan!	0:59:27	0:59:29
And now I do!	0:59:29	0:59:32
I'll turn the boy into a dog,	0:59:32	0:59:34
use him as bait to lure the dog-man,	0:59:34	0:59:37
and then I'll have the man and the dog!	0:59:37	0:59:40
Ah-ha! Mommy!	0:59:40	0:59:42
Nothing wacko about that!	0:59:42	0:59:45
LAUGHING	0:59:45	0:59:47
Oh, isn't there, Dr Wacko?	0:59:47	0:59:51
Ah. You're right on cue.	0:59:51	0:59:53
GROWLS	0:59:53	0:59:55
Ohh.	0:59:55	0:59:56
You really should've seen that coming.	0:59:56	0:59:58
Ohh!	0:59:58	0:59:59
I'm sorry, Scott.	0:59:59	1:00:01
I just wanted us to be together again.	1:00:01	1:00:04
I did it for us.	1:00:04	1:00:05
No. I'm the sorry one, Leonard.	1:00:05	1:00:08
It's all my fault.	1:00:08	1:00:10
I shouldn't have messed with nature.	1:00:10	1:00:12
Oh, haven't you heard?	1:00:12	1:00:13
My good man, nature is dead.	1:00:13	1:00:16
Science is king!	1:00:16	1:00:19
Oh, that is just wrong on so many levels.	1:00:19	1:00:21
Well, then riddle me this, Dr Krank.	1:00:21	1:00:25
Is it science or nature	1:00:25	1:00:27
that makes you have to laugh	1:00:27	1:00:28
when someone tickles you under the armpits?	1:00:28	1:00:31
Pretty Boy, Jolly.	1:00:31	1:00:32
LAUGHING	1:00:32	1:00:35
Stop it, you guys!	1:00:35	1:00:37
You keep him busy. I'll take care of Krank.	1:00:37	1:00:40
You're too late.	1:00:40	1:00:41
No!	1:00:43	1:00:45
ZAP!	1:00:45	1:00:47
Whoa. Whoa!	1:00:47	1:00:49
Aah!	1:00:49	1:00:50
Oh, my goodness.	1:00:50	1:00:52
What? What is it?	1:00:52	1:00:53
Do I got spinach in my teeth?	1:00:53	1:00:54
BIG SCOTT: Stop this crazy thing!	1:00:54	1:00:57
Oh. Aah!	1:00:57	1:00:58
You are one ugly man.	1:00:58	1:01:00
Well, I've been under a little stress lately.	1:01:00	1:01:03
Whoa!	1:01:03	1:01:05
Hey!	1:01:05	1:01:06
Hey. Whoa! What's happened?	1:01:06	1:01:08
Uh-oh.	1:01:08	1:01:10
Oh, darn.	1:01:11	1:01:13
Wait a minute. I've still got this.	1:01:13	1:01:16
Thank you, Dr Krank!	1:01:16	1:01:18
No, no, you fool!	1:01:18	1:01:19
Quarters only! A nickel will jam it!	1:01:19	1:01:22
You'll blow us all up!	1:01:22	1:01:23
That's a chance I'll have to take.	1:01:23	1:01:26
DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING	1:01:26	1:01:28
Say "auf wiedersehen"...Wacko.	1:01:30	1:01:33
Aah!	1:01:33	1:01:35
ZAPPING	1:01:35	1:01:37
Aah!	1:01:37	1:01:40
SQUEAKS, GRUNTS	1:01:40	1:01:42
Uhh!	1:01:42	1:01:43
Cool.	1:01:43	1:01:45
No. No. YOWLS	1:01:47	1:01:49
Uhh!	1:01:49	1:01:50
Oh, well. To quote the immortal bard,	1:01:50	1:01:53
which I don't believe I've yet done	1:01:53	1:01:55
in this entire adventure,	1:01:55	1:01:56
all's well that end's well.	1:01:56	1:01:58
LEONARD: Scott! Look out!	1:01:58	1:01:59
CRACKS, FIZZLES	1:01:59	1:02:01
Quick. We've got to get out before it blows!	1:02:03	1:02:06
You go. There's one more thing I've got to do.	1:02:06	1:02:10
It's my only chance.	1:02:10	1:02:12
Scott, what are you doing?	1:02:12	1:02:14
ZAP!	1:02:14	1:02:16
WHOOSH!	1:02:16	1:02:18
BEEPING	1:02:18	1:02:20
ELECTRICITY CRACKLING	1:02:20	1:02:23
BOOM!	1:02:23	1:02:25
Scott! Scott!	1:02:29	1:02:31
CHORAL MUSIC PLAYING	1:02:33	1:02:35
Oh, Scott.	1:02:38	1:02:40
Stupid machine!	1:02:42	1:02:44
Stupid, stupid science!	1:02:44	1:02:47
ZAP!	1:02:47	1:02:50
DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING	1:02:50	1:02:52
Wake up, dear blue Spot.	1:03:00	1:03:02
Wake up.	1:03:02	1:03:04
SPOT: Oh, is that you, dear Blue Fairy?	1:03:04	1:03:08
How many times I got to tell you, dog breath?	1:03:08	1:03:11
I ain't no fairy!	1:03:11	1:03:13
Spot. Is it really you?	1:03:13	1:03:15
In the fur.	1:03:17	1:03:18
Oh, Spot, you're back!	1:03:18	1:03:21
I had to come back, Bunky.	1:03:21	1:03:23
I love ya, and I want to be with ya.	1:03:23	1:03:25
Don't you remember?	1:03:25	1:03:27
Cue the violins.	1:03:27	1:03:29
# A friend needs a friend	1:03:29	1:03:32
# A friend needs a friend... #	1:03:32	1:03:35
Everybody sing!	1:03:35	1:03:37
# A boy needs a...	1:03:37	1:03:39
# Back on the south end of the leash	1:03:39	1:03:41
# Is where my place is	1:03:41	1:03:42
# Chasing cars and licking faces	1:03:42	1:03:43
# A simple mutt livin' a dog's life	1:03:43	1:03:45
# Now I'm in the thrall of nature's call	1:03:45	1:03:47
# It's my destiny to be man's best friend	1:03:47	1:03:49
# And to bite your own rear end	1:03:49	1:03:51
# And so it's buh-bye to species second-guessing	1:03:51	1:03:53
# This rover's learned his lesson	1:03:53	1:03:55
# I'm proud to be a dog	1:03:55	1:03:57
# The breed of Fido can't be denied-o	1:03:57	1:03:59
# Glad to be a dog	1:03:59	1:04:01
# And dog enough to beg	1:04:01	1:04:03
# A dog you must be	1:04:03	1:04:05
# I'll be spot-on	1:04:05	1:04:06
# With his pants not on	1:04:06	1:04:07
# Because at last I see... # Shh!	1:04:07	1:04:09
# That a tree needs a mom	1:04:09	1:04:10
LEONARD: # And a sow needs a hog	1:04:10	1:04:12
# Just like London needs fog	1:04:12	1:04:14
LEONARD: # Or a princess a frog	1:04:14	1:04:15
# Well, a friend needs a friend	1:04:15	1:04:17
BOTH: # A road needs a bend	1:04:17	1:04:19
# A film needs an end	1:04:19	1:04:21
# A boy needs a dog	1:04:21	1:04:24
# Needs a boy, needs a dog	1:04:24	1:04:25
# Needs a boy, needs a dog, needs a boy, needs a dog	1:04:25	1:04:27
# Boy, dog, boy, dog, boy, dog, boy, dog, boy	1:04:27	1:04:29
# Dog! #	1:04:29	1:04:36
Woof!	1:04:36	1:04:37
LATIN MUSIC PLAYING	1:04:39	1:04:42
MEN: # Hot diggity dog	1:04:42	1:04:43
WOMEN: # Ooh ooh ooh	1:04:43	1:04:46
# Yeah, yeah	1:04:46	1:04:48
# Yeah, yeah	1:04:48	1:04:50
# Ooh, dig that dog	1:04:50	1:04:53
# Hot diggity dog	1:04:53	1:04:54
# Bow wow wow	1:04:54	1:04:57
# Bow wow	1:04:57	1:04:59
# Wow wow	1:04:59	1:05:00
# Ooh, dig that dog	1:05:00	1:05:05
# Dog, boy, dog, boy, doggy, boy, dog	1:05:05	1:05:06
# Boy, dog, boy, dog, boy, doggy, boy	1:05:06	1:05:08
# Boy, dog, boy, dog, here, doggy, boy	1:05:08	1:05:10
# Dog, boy, doggy, boy, diggity-dog, boy	1:05:10	1:05:12
# Dog, boy Boy, dog	1:05:12	1:05:13
# Boy, dog Dog, boy	1:05:13	1:05:14
BOTH: # Hot, hot, hot diggity dog	1:05:14	1:05:16
WOMAN SCATS	1:05:16	1:05:18
# Yeah, hot diggity dog	1:05:18	1:05:21
CONTINUES SCATTING	1:05:21	1:05:23
# Ooh, dig that dog	1:05:23	1:05:25
# Oh, yeah	1:05:25	1:05:27
# Yeah-ah-ah	1:05:27	1:05:30
ALL: # Hot diggity dog	1:05:30	1:05:31
SWING MUSIC PLAYING	1:05:32	1:05:34
# Though money may be	1:05:42	1:05:44
# The root of all evil	1:05:44	1:05:46
# Money, it might not buy you love	1:05:46	1:05:49
# Money won't bring you happiness	1:05:49	1:05:51
# Or grow new hair or cure your stress	1:05:51	1:05:53
# Won't get you to the Pearly Gates above	1:05:53	1:05:57
# But there's a bunch of things that money can do	1:05:57	1:05:59
# Put a shirt on your back and a shine on your shoe	1:05:59	1:06:01
# When the cash shows up, I don't say "boo"	1:06:01	1:06:03
# I take the money and run	1:06:03	1:06:04
# Cos love can't buy a fancy car	1:06:04	1:06:07
# Or fill your tank	1:06:07	1:06:08
# If you want the finer things	1:06:08	1:06:10
# You'd better break the bank	1:06:10	1:06:11
# Cos if there's one sure thing that money can do	1:06:11	1:06:13
# Put the pedal to the metal when the rent comes due	1:06:13	1:06:15
# When the money shows up, baby, don't say "boo"	1:06:15	1:06:17
# Just take the money and run	1:06:17	1:06:19
# Oh, yeah, get your cash	1:06:19	1:06:20
# We're gonna have a bash	1:06:20	1:06:22
# Take the money and run. #	1:06:22	1:06:25

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