The Country Bears

TUNING INSTRUMENTS 'One, two, three.'

COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS

# You can't sit around waiting for the path to glory

# You've got to get moving To tell your story

# The bigger they come

# The harder they fall

# From the littlest acorns

# To trees so tall

# And where you're coming from is where you're going

# Until you get there

# You got no way of knowing

# All the love in the world won't find you if you don't let it

# Let it ride, let it ride let it ride

# And every mistake is a break but only if you get it

# Let it ride, let it ride let it ride. #

CHEERING

# All the love in the world won't find you if you don't let it

# Let it ride, let it ride let it ride

# Every mistake is a break but only if you get it

# Let it ride, let it ride let it ride

# Every day's a brand new place

# Feel the sun upon your face

# Try something new

# You won't regret it

# The hole in your shoe, buddy

# Just forget it

# Let it ride

# Oh, you got to let it... #

Stage dive, stage dive!

# Let it ride, let it ride

# Let it ride

# Let it ride

# Oh, you got to let it

# Let it ride, let it ride let it ride

# Let it ride

# Oh, you got to let it

# Let it ride, let it ride let it ride

# Let it ride

# Oh, you've got to let it

# Let it ride, let it ride let it ride... #

Yeah!

CHEERING

-TV:

-'The Country Bears broke up after the '91 Hiber Nation tour.

'It's actually hard to imagine popular music without the Bears.

'I learned a lot from them. That's why I was sad to see them break up.

'I guess I miss the old days

'at Country Bear Hall.

'We was kinda different, you see,

-'and, er, at Country Bear Hall...'

-SIGHS

'..you could be different and still fit in.

'Yep, different. Mm-hmm.'

< Hey, Beary!

< Doofus, time for dinner.

-Sit down, Dex.

-OK, that's enough, that's enough.

-A napkin's not a toy, Dex.

-I'm not that hungry.

Mom, am I adopted?

LAUGHS

Of course not, honey.

-Eat your fish.

-Um...

why would you think that, Beary?

I don't know. Sometimes I feel...different.

Like Dex and me, we don't look the same.

Our eyes are different colours,

and he has freckles and I don't, I think.

Are you serious? That's why you think you're different?

You know, um,

last week it was casual Friday at the office and I guess I forgot

-and I wore a tie.

-HE LAUGHS

And, boy,

did I feel different.

It was... Yeah.

The point is

that's it not unusual to feel different,

and those differences always lead us to our higher purpose.

-Higher purpose?

-Honey,

even if you were adopted we would love you as much as we love Dexter.

Maybe more. Just remember, son,

the people who love you no matter what, that's your family.

OK. I'm gonna go practise.

Do you know the Bears made the only country song ever

to be recorded in Polish?

Wow, really?! And did you know that nobody cares?!

Way to go, Doofus.

You're totally wrecking this family.

Um, what are you talking about? SIGHS

You really wanna know what I'm talking about?

OK, this is my baby picture.

-This is yours.

-Yeah?

See this? This is my birth certificate.

Here's yours.

The rangers used this to track you.

So, what's your point?

Forget it. That...

That's the day Mom and Dad got you.

What do you mean...got me?

I mean, picked you up, man. You were left alone.

They brought you home,

showed you some Barney videos and pretended you were their son.

You don't belong here.

SIGHS

At Country Bear Hall you can be different

and still fit in.

Yep, different.

SIGHS

SIGHS

# Sometimes it's just the going

# You've got to go

# And you don't even know if it's the right thing to do

# Nobody else can be showing

# Which way to go

# And you're not even sure of where you're going to

# It's a start

# In your heart

# Sometimes it's just the going. #

Country Bear Hall!

Wow!

HORN SOUNDS Whoa! Hey!

25 cents?! Do you have change for 100?

Hello, Reed. I thought you weren't coming back

-until you could tear the place down.

-That's four days away, Henry.

The people that owned the bank before you

didn't mind if I got behind on my payments.

-They cut me some slack.

-Uh-huh.

How far behind are you right now?

Er, six...

-years.

-Six years.

£20,000. Must be tough.

You had a good run, Henry, but good things must come to an end, luckily.

That also applies to lame junky things like Country Bear Hall.

Do you like the sound of crunching wood? I do.

SIGHS

CREAKING

-Oh!

-CREAKING

Oh, like that's gonna help.

CACKLES

-Oh, brother.

-ENGINE STARTS

If you're gonna stand there,

you might as well give me a hand.

SIGHS What's that?

A sign.

Yeah, but...

-destroy?

-Right.

Well, they're gonna tear down Country Bear Hall.

GASPS Tear down Country Bear Hall?

Yeah.

Tear down Country Bear Hall?!

Er...

yeah.

-Sir. Officer Hamm.

-Officer Cheets.

-Hamm and Cheets.

-Yeah.

-LAUGHS

We get that all the time.

-Well, it's your name.

-BOTH: Mm-hmm.

I thought you officers might enjoy a little nibble of something.

-Ah!

-When I'm upset, I bake.

Please, help yourselves!

OK, um, about your boy...

Hmm. His name is Beary.

-B-A-R-R-

-No.

It's B-E-A-R...

like in the German spelling of the name.

SOBS Oh, man, are you kidding me?

Don't worry, young buck. We'll find your brother for you.

Here, now. There we go.

Now you're an honourary deputy.

Gee, thanks. I'm sure all the kids on the playground will be impressed.

Well, don't arrest anybody.

Yeah, this place would fill up every weekend night.

-Really?

-I tell you, a lot of great music was on that stage.

There's Flat and Scruggs, Liver Lips McGraw,

Gomer, Jimi Hendrix opened here for Vanilla Fudge,

but nobody, but nobody was like The Country Bears.

The place would be packed. People sitting everywhere,

even up in the rafters.

You know, sometimes I climb up there just to hear the notes.

-What notes?

-The music.

The millions of notes that floated up there.

Some of the best darn notes ever.

Well, why don't you stop them before they start to tear the place down?

Why? 20,000, that's why.

You don't got it, I don't got it.

Goodbye Country Bear Hall.

I can't raise that kind of cash.

Four days from now this place comes a-tumbling down.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute!

I got it! I heard that some people have a higher purpose in life.

-Well...

-I belong here.

I belong here helping you save this place.

-Nah.

-And we can do it with a concert to raise the money.

We can get the band back together!

-Get the band back toge...? Get the... Get the...!

-Ah-ha!

Oh, that's the stupidest thing. Never in a million years.

But this place, it's historic.

-No.

-Notes in the rafters.

-No.

-I know they'll do it. They can play a show.

Now, stop it, OK? Just forget it.

-Stop it.

-But wait, you're not...

I said stop!

It's over.

Dumb kid. Stupid idea.

Get the band back together.

-D'oh!

-You could do that.

Oh, look, even if we found 'em... A concert?!

Yeah, you need equipment and tickets and promotion

and everything! I don't know.

-I could do that.

-Oh, Al...

Look, let's face it.

In a week from now,

some teenager's gonna be teaching us how to operate a deep fryer.

SIGHS

We could do that.

Does he have any distinguishing marks we can recognise him by?

-I, I...

-Er, yeah.

He's got thick brown hair...

all over his body.

Er, you know, I think I may have a recent photograph of him,

-if that would help you out.

-Oh!

He looks like a fourth grader?

-That's right.

-Yeah.

Cutie pie. SOBS

OK, you know what?

I'm gonna go to my room now and I'm gonna stay there until I'm 18.

-OK, we're all done here.

-Are you going to find him?

Ma'am, we're gonna do more than that.

How are we gonna do more than that?

-Huh?

-What are we gonna do, find him twice?

All right.

Let's get mobile.

# There's a town down the road

# Where I ain't been before

# Nobody knows my name

# Or what I'm looking for

# Maybe things will be a little different

# Cos they can't stay the same...

-# I'm gonna ease on down the road... #

-Hmm? Hmm?

# Where nobody knows my name... #

SIGHS

# If they think about me tonight

# I know they won't miss the pain

# Cos I'll be taking it down the road

# Where nobody knows my name. #

Yeah. CLEARS THROAT: Er, hmm, hey.

-Henry?

-Er, well, if we're gonna get the band back together,

we're gonna need some transportation.

GASPS

LAUGHS Hey, Beary, meet Roadie.

-Hi.

-Have you seen my chicken?

-Er, no.

-Get off my grass!

He was making a mess on my grass.

-I'm sorry, Big Al.

-Yeah.

The original Country Bear tour bus.

-Whoa!

-Yeah.

-LAUGHS

Wow! LAUGHS

Oh, yeah. Pretty neat, huh?

Uh-huh. Wow.

Hey, er, get the place ready for the concert, Big Al!

I'm counting on you.

Let's hit it, Roadie.

Don't you worry about nothing, Henry.

You just go get them boys.

Oh, and be careful of my...

..grass.

CRASH!

# So you wanna be a rock and roll star

# Then, listen now to what I sing

# Just get an electric guitar

# And take some time and learn how to play

# And in a week or two if you make the charts

# The girls will tear you apart... #

-So, is Fred still in show business?

-Er, yeah, you could say that.

-Hey, Fred.

-Morning.

-How's it going, Fred?

-OK.

-Excuse me.

-Sorry, got to be part of the video shoot.

I kind of am the video shoot.

Hmm. Oh, Krystal! Hey! Sorry.

I am so happy to see you.

-Er, really?

-Could you help me get my stuff?

Yeah.

-What you been up to?

-Oh, not much.

-Playing my harmonica.

-Really? You play?

-Oh, yeah. I was a Country...

-GRUNTS

..Bear.

The Fred.

Wait, wait, you're Fred Bedderhead?

Fred from the Country Bears?

-Yeah.

-Didn't you invent the stage dive?

Oh, yeah, but I'm too old for that now.

-LAUGHS

-You're not too old.

-You should play with us.

-Huh?

Come on, Fred. Come on.

Show us what you got.

-Well, all right, I s'pose.

-LAUGHS

Yeah.

# Somebody call my sister

# Tell her how much I miss her

# Tell my brother to come home, too

# Amplifiers humming

# That drummer is drumming

# A singer singing his song for you

# Just when you think

# There ain't no kitchen sink

# They throw one in from way on out of view

# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah

-# You...

-Got some cutting up to do

-# To do

-To bring out the kid in you

# You, ooh, ooh, ooh

# I know that you do, come on

-# You...

-You

# Turn the music up too, babe

# Ah!

# Left your home and family

# To find out who you could be

# And find out if the dream was real

-# Yeah, yeah

-Listen to the music

# Show you how to use it

# The dream is really how you feel Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

# Just take a look

# At all that time you took

# Worrying about what is or isn't true

# Oh, oh, oh, you

-# Got to, got to...

-Yeah

-To bring out the kid in you

# To bring out the kid in you. #

PLAYS HARMONICA

-Wow! Look.

-Huh?

There he is.

# Oh, I say

-# You...

-You

-Got to, got to do

# To bring out the kid in you

# Bring it out, bring it out

# Bring it out, bring it out

# Got to believe

# Say you've got to believe... #

Stage dive, stage dive, stage dive.

-Ooh!

-CRASH!

-Oof!

Oh, Fred.

Hey, Fred, you all right?

Er...ooh.

Er, the dive works better...

Yeah, with an audience, right?

-Yeah.

-Yeah. Well, if you're all right,

I've got to go get ready for the shoot.

-OK.

-It was fun.

Sure was. I wish I could play some more.

I might be able to help you out with that.

Huh? Henry?

Get the band back together?

You can do it. You're Fred Bedderhead,

the amazing, world-famous Fred Bedderhead!

The Fred Bedderhead!

Er, who is this guy?

Oh, that's Beary and he's right.

But how you gonna get people to come to the show, Hen?

-Why don't you go to Rip Holland?

-Rip Holland?!

The guy who stole the band from me?!

Ah, call Rip! Yeah(!)

-Rip Holland.

-Er, Rip?

-SIGHS

-Henry?

-Yeah.

-Oh, hey!

How you doing, buddy? Long time, no talk, huh?

So, you nearby?

Er, the boys and I are putting on this reunion show

at Bear Hall this Saturday night.

Oh, I get it. I get it.

You just called to gloat. Well, you listen to me...

Oh, no, no, no, Rip. I called...

-SIGHS

-..cos I thought we could put aside the old stuff

and, er, well...

..I was hoping you could promote the show.

I don't know, um, but let me check my calendar.

Well, it's gonna be a squeeze but I think a little juggling,

I can fit it in.

Well, that's great. Ha-ha!

This Saturday night at eight, then?

You got it, Henry.

I am so back, baby!

-Oh!

-'Excuse me, sir.'

This is the last time I'm gonna tell you. You have to leave the store.

Yeah, right, like I need you.

-LAUGHS

-Do you know who I am?

I'm Rip Holland. Rip Holland!

-That's ours.

-Right.

Fred, you were the only one who wrote me.

You know where any of the boys are?

Zeb never gave up the honey. Hangs out at a bar in Nuttville.

Oh, that's a nice scrapbook there, Beary.

Thanks.

I've been working on it forever.

I really like this picture. You used to have a lot of hair.

Er, yeah, well...

Oh, look at this one.

Winning that talent show was our big break.

What's an arm musician?

-LAUGHS

-Oh, that's Benny Bogswaggle. He was real talented.

RASPS TUNE WITH ARMPIT

-But he was a bad loser.

-YELLING

He hit Zeb with a chair.

What's that?

That there's a sign.

I'm aware of that.

"Reunion benefit concert."

Er, watch the grass.

Where's Henry?

In the Bears' bus... picking up the band.

-LAUGHS

-You think he's...

he's not actually serious?

Oh, yeah. Even got Rip Holland to promote it.

Rip Holland, really?

You bet. Come here.

You see, Henry says

if we do this here concert

and we raise that 20,000,

we can tell that little weasel banker to, er...

-Oops.

-Tell the weasel what?

Er, er, over yonder.

A monkey.

Hey!

I'm chubby but I'm quick.

LAUGHS

Rip Holland?

UPBEAT MUSIC

This way.

Er, excuse me, miss.

Yep?

Er, would you happen to know if there's a Zeb Zoober here?

Zeb Zoober? The Zeb Zoober that sleeps on my floor?

The Zeb Zoober that owes me 500?

The Zeb Zoober that won't stop calling me Cha Cha?

< Set me up, Cha Cha!

Sounds like him.

Zeb Zoober. Can't get rid of Zeb Zoober.

Hmm. O-O-O-O-Oh!

Wa-a-a-a-a-ah!

-TUTS

-Hey there, Zeb.

A-A-A-A-A-Ah!

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-Oh! Henry?

Fred?

Is that you? Oo-oo-ooh!

Come on, Zeb, what do you say? You give up the honey and come with us.

Guys, even if I wanted to leave town, I couldn't.

I owe Cha Cha there a lot of money.

-I'm hungry. Want to split an order of salmon fingers?

-Oh, Fred.

-How about twigs and berries?

-GASPS

Excuse me, ma'am.

-Henry, what's that boy doing?

-I don't know.

-OK. Deal.

-Deal!

You're Zeb Zoober.

Yeah, that may be true, but I, I...

-Who is this guy?

-Well, that's Beary.

Er, ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention for a minute?

Now, as most of you know,

Zeb Zoober owes me a whole heap of money.

Well, his little friend there has proposed a wager.

My house band versus Zeb's fiddle, a little musical duel.

Now, if he wins, he owes me nothing.

But if he loses, I get to keep the Country Bear tour bus.

-ALL: What?

-This should be good.

Son, that bus is our only means of transportation!

Not to mention that's where I raised my kids.

Plus, I don't think you've all seen the house band.

# Hey there, Bear I know you'd like a little honey

# But your credit's no good, man You're out of money

# I heard you can play the fiddle with the best

# Well, I'm here putting you to the test

# I'm hereby challenging you to a duel

# With my guitar and your fiddle

# You fuzzy fool. #

Ha, ha, ha, that's my guy.

# Well, hey there, mister, that was pretty good

# For a local bartender in the neighbourhood

# Well, I'm a little rusty now I admit

# But I ain't afraid of you not one bit

# I hereby accept your challenge to a duel

# Your guitar and my fiddle

# You crazy fool... #

BOTH: # I'm only in it for the honey

# It makes my head feel kind of funny

# Gimme that golden nectar Straight from the bees

# Bartender, gimme some of that please. #

DISCORDANT NOTES

Ya-a-a-ay!

Better call a cab.

# OK there, Mr Fuzzy, well, I guess that settles that

# Leave your tour bus parked out front and the keys under the mat

# Whoa, now, hold on just a minute

# Hold that jive cos I can feel this fiddle

# About to come alive. #

Yay-hay-hay!

AUDIENCE CHEERS

That's not so good!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Yeah!

CROWD CHEERS

Go, Zeb!

Yeah. Go, Zeb! Whoo-hoo!

-All right, Zeb.

-Yeah!

ROARS

-Nice one, Zeb.

-Yeah!

CHEERING CONTINUES

Bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl.

# Broken lines

# Broken strings

# Broken threads, broken springs

# Broken bottles

# Broken heads

# People sleeping in broken beds

# Ain't no use jiving Ain't no use joking... #

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Country Bear Hall has been crushed.

LAUGHS

Oh, no!

INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO

PANTS

What is that?

That's a sign. Hmm.

Not that. Is that Kentucky first dew?

Ooh, sure is.

Hmm. Beautiful.

Have you seen this boy?

Hmm. Yep.

Only in real life,

he's a lot bigger

and not all tiny and flat like that.

That's true.

-Where is he?

-Henry took him.

-Henry took him?!

In the bus...with Roadie.

-Now, where can we find you?

-Right here.

Or maybe,

over there in a little while.

Sometimes I'm by that tree.

SNIFFS, SIGHS

-Well, thank you very much.

-You bet.

-So, what do you think? Kidnapping?

-Yep.

Let's get mobile.

You know, would it kill you just once to say,

"Let's get going, partner", mix it up a little bit?

They like you.

LAUGHS

HARMONICA AND FIDDLE PLAY

Ah! This is the harp my daddy gave me.

LAUGHS

-Er, hey, Zeb. Zeb.

-Huh?

I was wondering whatever happened to Tennessee?

I saw him a few years ago. He's still the same heart-broke,

mixed-up, psycho, basket-case cry baby.

-So, what's he doing?

-He's a marriage counselllor.

-Huh?

-I'm tired. I've been with the baby all day.

Look, I work all day. I get a lot of stress from my boss.

I come home, I just wanna relax. Is that too much to ask?

-I mean, what do you think?

-What do I think?

I think you two are so dang lucky to have each other.

Oh, I'm sure you might fight over the dishes but at the end of the day...

SOBS ..At least you're gonna be together. Not like me.

Not like me and Trixie!

Oh, I lost her.

SOBS Trixie!

CONTINUES TO SOB

Oh, sweetheart. Oh, baby.

INHALES I'm OK.

SIGHS

Ah! SOBS

SOBS CONTINUE

-I feel better.

-He's good.

Trixie. SOBS

KNOCK ON DOOR Come in.

Huh? Don't tell me you're getting the band back together.

Tennessee, we're getting the band back together.

I'm sorry, boys.

I just can't play the same,

not without Trixie there. I...

-Why did she break up with you?

-Was it that sweater?

Took off with some rich millionaire real-estate guy. A panda!

Huh? What's with the pandas? They get everything.

-You're telling me.

-You sure it wasn't that sweater?

-Zeb!

-If I knew where she was I'd be there in a second.

Oh, but even if I could play, who'd come?

Nobody cares about The Country Bears no more. Nobody knows who we are.

Hey, how's everybody doing?

Oh, my gosh. You're The Country Bears.

You know who we are?

Sure. You guys inspired me to go after my dream to become a singer.

-Did you make it?

-Yeah, Fred, she made it.

-She works here for the free uniform.

-GROWLS

-Sorry, no offence.

None taken. I'm still working on it.

I even do one of your songs, Kick It Into Gear.

# Kick it into gear

# Sometimes you've just got to... #

-ALL LAUGH

-That old thing?

-Roll the dust off that one.

Well, I kinda got my own arrangement.

# Sometimes you've just got to kick it into gear... #

ALL LAUGH Hey-hey!

Hey, come on, sing it, come on!

# When your grip keeps slipping and your clutch is gone

# You're tired of spinning your wheels and your brains's full on... #

ALL: # Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

# Well, keep your asphalt under sunny side up

# A gas credit card and a giant coffee cup

# The rest of your life is gonna find you here

# Get up on the highway and kick it into gear

# Kick it into gear Kick it into gear

# That's the only way you're gonna get on out of here

# Kick it into gear Kick it into gear

# Sometimes you've just got to kick it into gear. #

Hey, I kinda like this song.

Yeah! LAUGHS Yeah!

# Hydromatic or a turbo drive... #

ALL: # Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

# Well, it ain't the destination it's the ride, ride, ride

# Well, keep the heavy to the metal the rubber to the road

# I hear your motor running it's about to explode

# I'll still be waiting this time next year

# Get on down the highway and kick it into gear

# Kick it into gear Kick it into gear

# That's the only way you're gonna get on out of here

# Kick it into gear Kick it into gear

# Sometimes you've just got to kick it into gear. #

ALL: Whoa!

Whoo!

Oh, yeah.

# Kick it into gear Kick it into gear

# That's the only way you're gonna get on out of here

-# Kick it into gear, kick it into gear. #

-ALL: Kick it!

# Sometimes you've got to, yeah

# Kick it into gear kick it into gear

# That's the only way you're gonna get on out of here

# Kick it into gear kick it into gear

# Sometimes you've just got to kick it into gear. #

-BELL RINGS

-Order up!

So, how do you boys like your eggs?

-GRUNTS

-Hot!

-Like us!

-ALL LAUGH Yeah.

I guess people do remember us.

-GASPS

-Yeah! Henry's even on TV.

'Police believe this man is involved

'in the abduction of this ten-year-old boy.

'They also believe his accomplices are this man,

'this man and this chicken who are all travelling in this bus.'

ALL GASP

'We will keep you updated on Bus Watch!'

-Oh, no.

-You guys are kidnappers?

-Of course not, Zeb.

-Guys,

I think we have a problem.

Hmm? ALL GASP

-How many?

-Two, please.

-CLATTERING

-Right this way.

Here you go.

Suspicious activity at two o'clock.

How could you possibly know that?

Look!

Let's get mo... Let's go.

SIRENS WAIL, TYRES SCREECH

Pull over, pull over!

Pull over immediately or, er,

or, or, or what?

-Or we'll make you.

-Or we'll make you pull over.

-Shake these fellas.

-Shake 'em.

ALL YELL

TYRES SCREECH Whoa!

GROANS Whoa!

-I'm scared.

-All right, it's time to lose these guys.

-I need honey.

-How about a little thing

I call "hiding in the car wash."

-How's that work?

-We hide in the car wash.

-Oh!

-ALL YELL

Whoa! I lost 'em.

What do you mean you lost 'em. How do you lose a bus?

Bingo, nine o'clock.

SIRENS WAIL

# Car Wash - Rose Royce. #

-Oh, yeah, we got 'em, baby. Oh, we got 'em.

-LAUGHS

You guys, they're right behind us.

Hit it, Roadie.

-Henry.

-Yeah?

-We're in a car wash.

-Where are they?

-Where'd they go?

I don't know. I can't see anything. Can you?

-No. Put your window down.

-Think I should?

-Yes, it's all right, it's police business.

-Right.

-You see 'em yet?

-Argh!

-Oh! Oh! Cheets!

-YELLS

-You OK? Cheets?

-Help!

-Cheets! Cheets!

-GRUNTS

-Ooh! Ow!

-Help! Whoa!

-Whoa!

Oh! Oh! Cheets!

-GRUNTS

-Whoa, man. Oh!

Help me!

Whoa, man.

Oh, oh, Cheets! Cheets!

I'm coming, man.

Oh, God, I have soap in my eyes.

-Oh!

-Oh, no. O-O-O-O-O-Oh! Cheets.

Hold on. Hold on, Cheets. I'm coming.

Help me, Hamm!

Cheets, where are you, partner?

-Ah, I can't swim!

-BLOWS WHISTLE

YELLS

GRUNTS

-Look out!

-What?

-Help!

-LAUGHS

ALARM SOUNDS, BOTH YELL

Oh, man, I don't believe it.

BOTH YELL

BOTH LAUGH

BOTH YELL

Your hair...

Your hair looks ridiculous.

My hair? Your moustache.

-What about it?

-It was a fake?!

LAUGHS

You still got it, Roadie.

You, too, Mr Chicken.

CLUCKS

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Hey, Dex, it's me, Beary.

Beary? You are in so much trouble.

It's kinda cool.

Are Mom and Dad, er, I mean, Mr and Mrs Barrington there?

No! They're out looking for you, Doofus!

Oh! Well...

..tell them I haven't been kidnapped or anything

and I'm OK.

I figured out my higher purpose.

I'm getting The Country Bears back together

for a concert at Country Bear Hall.

-You're not.

-I don't care if you don't believe me, but it's true.

I just wanted them to know that I was OK.

OK, you know, fine.

Just, when are you coming home?

I'm not.

You're right, Dex.

I gotta face facts. We're different.

I don't belong there.

I never did.

Beary, what are you talking about?

Dex, you can keep my GameBoy.

-SIGHS

-Beary...

SIGHS

Look, you're...

LAUGHTER 'So long, Country Bear.'

-SHOOTING ON TV

-'Whoa, what the...?

'Look, he's shooting a ray gun at us.

-'Come on, let's run.'

-ALL YELL

'Fred, your harmonica might disrupt the alien's brain wave.

'Blow. Blow, Fred, blow.'

HARMONICA PLAYS 'Argh, that noise!'

SCREAMS, CRASH!

ALL: Bear power!

FANFARE

That was bad.

'Appearing tonight, Trixie St Claire.'

Oh, man!

Tennessee! Tennessee!

Remember when you said you'd do anything to find Trixie?

To get her back?

Well, guess what?

Thank you...

YELLING ON TV

..for not listening(!)

CLEARS THROAT: Oh, well, I am.

-GASPS

-Tennessee!

SIGHS

Guys, listen up...

This next song was written by an old friend of mine.

He wrote it a long time ago

when he was my...

..in a band called The Country Bears.

Whoo-hoo! Bears rock!

# Did I lose your love

# A long time ago?

# Or did I just wear it out?

# Baby, I don't know... #

SIGHS

Oh, Trixie, I'm all a mess on account of how much I miss you.

-I know...

-Tennessee.

Oh!

# Cos it seems like any more

# We're not on the same page

# In the same book

# Or on the same stage

# Don't look at me

# Like I'm a stranger now

# Have I changed that much?

# Baby, tell me how... #

BOTH: # We said forever For always, for good. #

SOBS

-Oh, stop your blubbering, Fred.

-It's so cute.

# Can love stand the test

# Of time that surrounds us

# Moments that astound us

# Can love stand the test

# Of time that surrounds us

# Moments that astound us

# Joy and happiness

# Joy and happiness

# Joy and happiness. #

-Yeah!

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

I think we just got Tennessee.

They're great. They were always great.

Better than The Eagles.

PHONE RINGS

-Yeah?

-'Er, er, yeah, er...'

-Hello?

Ted? Ted, it's, er, it's Henry.

-Eh?

-Henry Taylor.

What do you want, Henry?

Yeah, well, er, well, Ted, look, er,

I'm sort of in a bind here, and, er, I was, er, yeah...

Well, hey, hey, this is exciting.

Er, we're getting the band back together for a benefit show.

-LAUGHS

-Great, huh?

What? Get the... Get the band back together?

-Yeah-ha!

-RASPS

-"I'm going in a tunnel, I'm losing ya."

BEEP!

-DIALLING TONE

-OK, Ted, good.

-Thank you very much.

-LAUGHS

Well?

Oh, he's in.

BRAKES SQUEAK

Hoo-ee! Razzle-dazzle!

Looks like Ted has done pretty good for hisself.

Why don't you just borrow the 20,000 from him, Hen?

It don't look like he'd miss it much.

Guys, one thing at a time, OK? Just one thing at a time.

Gotta do everything here.

-BEEPING

-All right. Hello?

Hello, we're looking for a Ted Bedderhead.

-Two orders of French fries and a shake.

-LAUGHS

-Fred.

-What?

Oh!

Er, excuse me.

Excuse me?

SIGHS

-Can I help you?

-Er, yeah.

Er, Ted Bedderhead. He's an old friend of mine.

-LAUGHS

-Is he here?

-No, he's, er, not here.

-He's at the country club at the wedding.

-Oh, yeah, country club.

-Well, thank you.

-You're the Country Bears, right?

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

-Well, I'm...

Yeah, you're a big fan. We get it all the time.

That's real nice, but, we gotta run, thank you.

Come on, Beary. Come on, Beary.

Bye. SIGHS

That guy looks a lot like Elton John.

Nah, Elton John's taller.

-Keep your eyes open for some clues.

-Ah-ha.

Ah, gimme a minute, Hamm.

TUTS

Yeah.

How's it look?

I'll find a mirror.

Ted may be a little surprised to see us

so, er, let me do the talking, all right?

I thought you said he knew we was coming.

He does but let's not embarrass him in front of his rich friends.

It wasn't me, it was the chicken.

Come on, Fred. Let's find your brother.

Yeah, my brother.

Er, I'm gonna go get something to eat first, yeah.

-Yeah, eat first.

-Right behind you, big guy.

Yeah.

Maybe he's not here.

-Hi.

-How do?

Your hair is very pretty.

Nice shade of blue, like a whale belly.

You, too. Bye-bye now.

CHUCKLES

GASPS

BEARY LAUGHS

SIGHS

No, no, no, no, no!

-LAUGHS

-Hey, there, er...

-..Ted.

-What are you doing here, Henry?

-Er, well...

-Wow, Ted Bedderhead!

No, no, no, ssh!

I'm such a big fan.

It's great you're gonna play in the show and save Country Bear Hall.

-Play the show? Henry!

-No.

No, no, no. Well, we just thought we'd drop by

-and see if we all...

-We? All?

They're here? Uh!

Oh, yeah.

GRUNTS

But, I just...

So the bear said you gonna kill that before you eat it?

-ALL LAUGH

-You guys!

You, out!

-Come on now.

-Ted!

-Geez!

-Hello, brother.

-Out, out!

-Oh, OK. All right.

-Sorry, ma'am.

-Oh, geez.

-Get out of here, come on.

What, what, what makes you think I'd get back together with you guys?

-I, er...

-Look,

that's where I started out. I'm not going back.

When I said I was finished, I meant it. I'm finished.

But, Mr Bedderhead, we...

we need everyone to make this happen and we need you.

Now, listen, kid,

er, who is this guy?

ALL: That's Beary.

Er, no, no, no, no, no.

That's a long time ago, kid. Things change.

Frankly, your little nostalgic field trip,

-you know, it's kind of pathetic.

-Well,

maybe it was.

Sorry to have bothered you, Ted.

People are waiting for me. You found your way in,

you can find your way out!

Hmm!

-That guy's turned into a real -

-HEN SQUAWKS

-SIGHS

-I'm gonna go get the bus.

My mistake, everyone.

Don't know what I was thinking.

It's not your fault, Henry. It's mine.

This whole thing was my idea.

No, no, now it's nobody's fault, but it might as well be mine!

-Tennessee.

-Right.

Come on, Fred.

SIGHS

This ain't right.

SIGHS

UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS

# Ba-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra

# Ba-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra

# It's not unusual to be loved by anyone

-# Ba-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra

-# It's not unusual

# To have fun with anyone

# But when I see you hanging about with anyone

# It's not unusual

# To see me cry

# Oh, I wanna die

# Ba-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra... #

MUSIC STOPS SLOWLY

You...? You're a wedding singer?

-Yeah.

-This, this ain't your party?

-Nope.

-So, you're not rich?

-Yeah.

-And you still won't play with us?

Nope, I'm not going!

Oh, Ted.

You don't gotta lie to us.

You're family.

And you're going!

When the kidnappers call just agree with whatever they say.

I already told you guys, he hasn't been kidnapped.

-He's with The Country Bears.

-Listen to me, son,

they'll be keeping him in an underground layout

high up in a building till they get their ransom, OK?

Would you guys listen to me?

There won't be a ransom. He's with The Country Bears.

They're doing a concert tonight at Country Bear Hall.

They just said that to distract you, sports fan. Besides,

The Country Bears back together?

Son, listen. Leave the police work to the professionals, OK?

Sure, just tell me when they get here.

-Pff! Great kid.

-He's a keeper.

-Yeah.

All these years, I haven't been able to face you guys.

I've pretty much lost everything.

So I've been trying to make a buck

singing at weddings and stuff.

At least you're not doing kids' birthday parties.

ALL LAUGH

-Er...I am.

-ALL: Really?

But we saw your house? Your gardener?

That's not my gardener. That's Elton John.

-Told you!

-I rent a room over the garage from him.

Well, now, brother, that's OK,

cos we're all together again.

Whoa, whoa! Just cos I'm telling the truth doesn't mean I'm dumb!

-Huh?

-Roadie, stop the bus.

OK, have you rehearsed?

What songs you gonna do?

Who's doing sound?

We ain't exactly figured all that out yet.

Same old Country Bears.

Come on, Ted, you do kind of owe us.

-You were the reason we broke up.

-Well, there it is.

Knew that was coming up. I'm the reason we stayed together, Zeb.

Did any of you, any of you ever thank me?

We all had our jobs to do, Ted.

Oh, right. Drinking,

blubbering, and staring into space.

-ALL GASP

-What we were

was years ago.

-Blubbering, ah...

-Well, you were blubbering.

Well, OK, there, honey bear.

-All right, all right, you guys.

-Hey, hey, hey, guys!

You know,

in People magazine, April 1983,

you all said that the Bears was your family.

-And like a family...

-Kid, that's just a bunch of meaningless publicity.

You don't know nothing about the real Bears, understand?

Nothing! We are not a family.

You're right.

This isn't a family,

cos the people who love you no matter what,

that's your family.

-SIGHS

-Who told you that, Beary?

My dad.

My dad!

-What, what?

-Hold on, Beary.

DOOR CREAKS

Mom!

-Beary.

-CRASH!

Beary!

Beary, Beary, Beary. Oh, there's my good boy.

Are you all right? Did they hurt you?

Brainwash you? How many fingers can you see?

-I'm fine, Mom.

-Oh, honey! Norbert, Norbert!

Yeah, hon, what is it?

Hi, Dad.

O-O-O-O-Oh, Beary!

Oh, Beary, Beary, my Beary boy.

Oh!

ALL LAUGH

-Hey.

-Hey, Doofus!

-Hey, Dex.

-Look who's home.

ALL LAUGH Hey!

Oh, Beary left his stuff.

Hmm.

"My hero by Beary Barrington, fourth grade.

"My hero is really heroes,

"and my heroes are The Country Bears.

"Whenever I'm sad I play one of their songs

"and I forget why I was even sad at all.

"And if you met my brother

"you'd know why I was always sad."

-Hmm.

-"I can't really say Zeb is my hero,

"or Fred, or Ted, or even Tennessee,

"but, as The Country Bears,

"what they can do together

"makes them my heroes.

"I'd like to meet them someday.

"That would be cool."

It says here, A+,

but it's everything about The Country Bears.

Hey, Beary's a sharp little guy.

This morning he told me something else.

Mr Chicken...is a girl.

LAUGHS

This is a pretty straightforward demolition, Mr Thimple.

Take about a half hour to bulldoze her to the ground.

Oh, yes. Do that.

CLUCKING, MOOING

-DOORBELL RINGS

-Dex, would you get that?

-OK.

-And tell Beary to come down for some pie.

Beary, pie!

Er, Beary,

hey, that Ted guy is here.

-You want me to kick him out?

-Ted? Ted Bedderhead?

-He's here?

-Yeah.

Er...

You, er, you left your stuff on the bus.

You can keep it. I don't want it.

Um, look, I, er...

Hmm. I hope you know how lucky you are.

It only took you three days to understand something

that took me ten years

-to figure out.

-What's that?

Mr Chicken IS a girl.

What? LAUGHS

-LAUGHS

-Gotcha!

Really, I wanna tell you that I'm...sorry.

I was mad.

Not at you...and I'm sorry.

And that thing you wrote in your journal about us

being great when we're together,

it's true.

GASPS

-You're gonna do the show?

-Nah,

we're not doing the show.

Not without you.

Whoo-hoo!

Y'all come with me.

We can all ride together on the...

-bus?

-The bus was stolen.

It was that Thimple fella.

-LAUGHS

-Come on, move along.

Move it, come on. What are you waiting for?

-I'm definitely changing banks.

-I hate it when we lose a customer.

We have to find them! They have to do that show.

Beary, Beary, your stuff was on that bus, right?

-Yeah.

-All your stuff?

-We can track them with this.

-Yeah.

-Come on, let's go, let's go.

ALL TALK AT ONCE

-All right.

-OK. In you go.

Hey, hey, hey, no, no! Sto-o-o-op!

I have a better idea!

Whoa!

Easy, Captain.

Go on, get in there! Get in there!

Why are you doing this?

I can't have that show.

I can't have you ruin what I've been working on for 30 years.

-30 years?

-Which way?!

Just, er, go straight.

-GRUNTS

-OK, take a right, take a right here.

ALL: Whoa!

-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

-TYRES SCREECH

Whoa!

Oh! Oh!

Whoa, my kidneys.

-What's the problem, bub?

-You ruined my life!

Well, it's not our fault you became a banker.

-Not that.

-What are you talking about?

This!

-Ha!

-Whoa!

-What's he doing?

I don't know.

What, what, what are you doing? What's he doing?

-LAUGHS

-Huh?

-ALL GASP

-This!

RASPS TUNE WITH ARMPIT

Oh, my word! You're Benny Bogswaggle!

-ALL GASP

-The armpit...!

That's right. The sweet innocent kid

-you jerks beat all those years back.

-You hit me with a chair!

Ever since that day I've been plotting my revenge,

waiting for the day I'd destroy the place that brought me misery. Well,

that day

-is tonight!

-LAUGHS

-ALL: No, no, no, no, no!

-Whoa, whoa, whoa.

ALL MURMUR

-Left, left.

-And pulling the boat!

-Left, left!

-Whoa!

MUMBLES

-TYRES SCREECH

-Whoa!

-Go right, go right.

-Turn right.

-Go right, Dad.

-Yeah.

Watch out! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

O-O-O-O-O-O-Oh! No, no, no!

No-o-o-o-o!

-PHONE RINGS

-We're right on top of it.

Oh, danger!

TYRES SCREECH The bus!

-Dad!

-Whoa!

ALL YELL

CLINK!

HE PANTS

-That was pretty nifty.

-Yeah.

Thanks.

What do you say we go show Thimple who's boss?

-ALL: Yeah!

-Bear...

-power!

-GROWLS

-Sorry.

-Yeah. Let's go!

SCREAMING

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

# We're an American band

# We're an American band

# We're coming to your town

# We'll help you party it down We're an American band. #

PIANO PLAYS

# I hope the day will be a lighter highway

# For friends are found on every road

# Can you ever think of any better way

# For the lost and weary travellers to go?

# Making friends

# For the world to see

# Let the people know

# You got what you need

# With a friend at hand

# You will see the light

-# If your friends... #

-Here we are.

Open the door, open the door.

Watch your step, Beary. Come on, guys.

I can't wait to see the old place.

-GASPS

-Hey, where is everybody?

What's going on?

No cars outside, no lights. No...

-No people.

-Here's the money.

Gimme five back, I give you the ten.

-GASPS

-You give me the twenty.

-Hey!

What's going on here?

I'm impressed.

Wow, I am telling you, I am so impressed.

I cannot tell you how impressed I am,

but, boys, it doesn't matter.

The place is dead.

Rip, huh? Look at him. He never promoted the show.

-What? Rip!

-But I...

-Not me.

-Rip!

-Hey!

Well, hey, guys. Long time.

Looking good. Henry, are you working out?

-Rip!

-It's not personal, Henry,

it's just business.

Business? Business that'll ruin our lives. I can't believe...!

Maybe, but it's him.

Hey, ain't you guys doing a show tonight?

Er, there ain't gonna be one, Big Al.

Nobody showed up.

What are you talking about, Fred?

They is all out in the back field.

-They're what?

-Didn't want anyone

parking on my grass out front. Hmm.

Woo-hoo-hoo!

ALL CHEER

Whoa!