A Christmas Carol

Yes.

Quite dead.

As a doornail.

Certificate of death, sir.

FLOOR CREAKING

CREAKING

Stop!

Back away, Praddock.

Tuppence is tuppence.

# To save us all from Satan's power

# When we were gone astray

# Oh, tidings of comfort and joy... #

-I beg your pardon!

-I say!

# Oh tidings of comfort and joy.

# From God our heavenly father a blessed angel came. #

SINGING RESUMES QUIETLY

SHOUTING AND WHOOPING

Delinquents.

Newspaper!

CHATTER

Please, sir, we're very hungry.

Any more? We're hungry, sir.

-Any scraps?

-We're starving,

Please, sir. We're very hungry.

Oh! Merry Christmas, from his lordship, the mayor!

-Please, sir.

-Oh, look. There it is.

Oi! Come back here with that! That's our meat!

Give it back! That's ours! Come back here!

-There you are, sir.

-Thanks.

Fresh hot chestnuts.

That's perfect.

That's a nice fresh eel.

-Here is the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.

-Get lost.

And under which one is the pea? Boom, boom, boom, boom...

-Boom!

-Get out of here.

There we are. Watch this now.

DOOR OPENS

Merry Christmas, Uncle!

-God save you.

-Bah! Humbug!

Christmas a humbug? Uncle! You don't mean that.

Merry Christmas(!)

What reason have you to be merry? You're poor enough.

What right have you to be so dismal? You're rich enough.

-Humbug!

-Don't be cross, Uncle.

What else can I be when I live in such a world of fools as this?

Merry Christmas(!)

What's Christmastime to you but a time for paying bills without money.

A time for finding yourself a year older and not a penny richer.

If I could work my will,

every idiot who goes about with "Merry Christmas" on his lips

should be boiled in his own pudding

and buried with a stake of holly through his heart!

-Uncle!

-Nephew!

Keep Christmas in your own way and let me keep it in mine.

Keep it? But you don't keep it!

Let me leave it alone then.

Much good it has ever done you.

There are many things from which I have derived good and have not profited.

Christmas being among them.

But I have always thought of Christmas as a kind, charitable time.

The only time when men open their shut-up hearts

and think of all people as fellow travellers to the grave

and not some other race of creatures bound on other journeys.

And therefore, Uncle,

although it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket,

I believe it has done me good, and I say, God bless it!

FAINT APPLAUSE

Let me hear another sound out of you, Cratchit,

and you'll keep Christmas by losing your situation!

You're quite a powerful speaker, sir. A wonder you don't go into Parliament.

Don't be cross, Uncle. Come, dine with us tomorrow.

I'll see you in hell first.

But why? Why so coldhearted, Uncle? Why?

Why did you get married?

Because I fell in love.

Because...

..you fell...

..in love?

Good afternoon.

I want nothing from you. I ask nothing of you.

-Why can't we be friends?

-Good afternoon.

I'm sorry, with all my heart, to find you so resolute.

But I have made the trial in homage to Christmas, and therefore,

-Merry Christmas, Uncle!

-Good afternoon!

-And a happy New Year!

-Good afternoon!

And a very merry Christmas to you too, Mr Cratchit.

Merry Christmas to you, sir.

-There's another one.

-DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

A clerk making 15 shillings a week and with a wife and family, talking about a merry Christmas.

-I'll retire to Bedlam.

-DOOR OPENS

Ah. Good afternoon. Scrooge and Marley's, I believe?

Ah...

Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr Scrooge or Mr Marley?

Mr Marley has been dead these seven years.

He died seven years ago... this very night.

Oh... Well, we have no doubt that his generosity

is well represented by his surviving partner.

At this festive season of the year, Mr Scrooge,

it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision

for the poor and the destitute.

Many thousands are in want of common comfort, sir.

Are there no prisons?

Prisons? Yes, yes, plenty of prisons.

And the union workhouses, are they still in operation?

They are. I wish I could say they were not.

The treadmill in full vigour?

-Very busy, sir.

-Good!

I was afraid something had occurred to stop them in their useful course.

Yes. At this festive season, a few of us are endeavouring to raise a fund

to buy the poor some meat and drink and means of warmth.

What shall we put you down for?

-Nothing.

-Oh, you wish to remain anonymous?

I wish to be left alone! I don't make merry myself at Christmas,

and I can't afford to make idle people merry.

I support the establishments I have mentioned.

And those who are badly off must go there.

Many cannot go there.

And, well, frankly, many would rather die.

Then they had better do it and decrease the surplus population.

Good afternoon, gentlemen!

Good afternoon.

DOOR OPENS

BELL TOLLS

You'll want all day tomorrow, I suppose?

Well, if quite convenient, sir.

It's not convenient, and it's not fair.

If I were to dock you a half a crown for it, you'd think yourself ill used.

And yet you don't think me ill used when I pay a day's wages for no work.

Well, it's only once a year, sir.

Poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every 25th of December.

But I suppose you must have the whole day.

Be here all the earlier the next morning.

Sir.

CRATCHIT CHUCKLES

SHOUTING AND LAUGHING

Whoa!

In honour of Christmas Eve!

SHOUTING

Whoa!

HE LAUGHS

KEYS CLATTER

Bugger it!

SCROOGE GRUNTS

Where are you? Here!

Why does everything seem to happen to me?

GASPS

ROAR!

Agh!

Get away! Get away!

HE WHIMPERS

Ha! Balderdash!

HE BLOWS

TAPPING

I have given myself the willies.

That's what it is.

RINGING SOFTLY

RINGING LOUDLY

CHIMING

CACOPHONY OF BELLS

SILENCE

DOOR CREAKING

SOFT RATTLING AND THUMPING

SCROOGE WHIMPERS

LOUDER RATTLING AND THUMPING

SILENCE

CREAKING

It's all still a hum...

Agh!

Oh!

HE GASPS

How now!

What do you want with me?

Oh, much.

-Who are you?

-Ask me who I was.

Who were you then?

In life, I was your partner,

Jacob Marley.

Can you sit down?

-I can.

-Do it then.

Oh!

You do not believe in me.

I don't.

Why do you doubt your senses?

Because the littlest thing can affect them.

A slight disorder of the stomach can make them cheat.

You may be an undigested bit of beef. A blot of mustard.

A crumb of cheese. A fragment of underdone potato.

There's more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are.

AARRRGH!

Mercy! Dreadful apparition, why do you trouble me?

Man of worldly mind, do you believe in me or not?

I do! I must!

Woe! Woe is me!

You are fettered in chains. Why?

I wear the chain I forged in life.

I made it link by link and yard by yard.

Do you recognise its pattern?

Can you imagine the weight and length of the chain you bear?

It was as heavy and long as this seven Christmas Eves ago.

Oh, yours is a ponderous chain.

Jacob, tell me no more.

Speak comfort to me, Jacob.

I have none to give.

I cannot stay. I cannot linger anywhere.

Mark me, in life, my spirit never walked beyond our counting house,

never roved beyond the narrow limits of our money-changing hole.

Now endless journeys lie before me.

Seven years dead and travelling all the time?

The whole time. No rest, no peace.

You must've covered a lot of ground in seven years.

MARLEY ROARS

I was blind! Blind! I could not see my own life!

Squandered and misused. Oh, woe... Oh, woe is me!

But you were always a good man of business!

Business!

Oh!

Argh!

Argh!

Mankind...was my business.

The common welfare was my business.

Charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence were all my business.

MARLEY RETCHES

Oh!

MUFFLED SPEECH

Hear me! My time is nearly gone.

I will. But don't be hard upon me, Jacob. Pray.

I am here to warn you

that you have yet a chance and a hope of escaping my fate.

A chance of my procuring, Ebenezer.

You were always a good friend to me, Jacob. Thank 'ee.

You will be haunted by three spirits.

That's the chance and hope?

-I'd rather not.

-Expect the first

tomorrow when the bell tolls one.

Couldn't I take them all at once, and have it over with, Jacob?

Expect the second the next night at the same hour.

And the third upon the next night,

when the last stroke of 12

has ceased to vibrate.

RATTLING

Look to see me no more.

Agh! Agh!

WAILING AND MOANING

Agh!

I'm sorry. I wish I could help you.

Argh! Argh!

GROWLING

SCROOGE WHIMPERS

Oh!

HOOVES CLATTER

SCROOGE GASPS

BELL TOLLS

Oh!

Agh!

SCROOGE WHIMPERS

Are you the spirit whose coming was foretold to me?

I am.

Agh!

Is it possible that you might put your cap on?

Would you so soon put out, with your worldly hands,

the light I give?

No, no! No, no! I'm so sorry.

I meant nothing by it. I meant no offence.

I just thought I...

Who and what are you?

I am the Ghost of Christmas Past.

Long past?

Your past.

Rise...

and walk with me.

SCROOGE MUTTERS

But I am mortal and liable to fall.

Bear but a touch of my hand there...

..and you shall be upheld in more than this.

Whoa!

Oh!

BELLS CHIME

Good heavens.

I was bred in this place.

I was a boy here.

Your lip...is trembling.

And what's that?

-Oh! On your cheek?

-Nothing.

Something in my eye.

SCROOGE SNIFFS

Do you remember the way?

Remember it?

I could walk it blindfolded.

Giddyup! Giddyup!

Oh! Oh!

These are but shadows of things that have been.

They have no consciousness...of us.

SINGING

I knew them.

I know every one of them.

They were schoolmates of mine.

Let's go on.

BELL TOLLS

This...

This was my school.

This school is not quite deserted.

A solitary child...

neglected by his friends...

is left here still.

I know.

CHILD SINGS: Adeste Fideles

# Venite adoremus

# Venite adoremus

# Venite adoremus... #

Poor boy.

Poor, poor boy.

Let's...see another Christmas.

Ebenezer!

Ebenezer!

Dear, dear brother! I've come to bring you home!

-Home, little Fanny?

-Yes, home!

Father is so much kinder than he used to be.

He spoke so gently to me one night.

I was not afraid to ask him if you might come home.

And he said yes!

And he sent me in a coach to fetch you.

And we're to be together all the Christmas long.

And to have the merriest time in all the world!

You're quite a woman, little Fan.

-She had a large heart.

-She died a woman.

And had, as I think...

..children.

Yes, one child.

True.

-Your nephew.

-Yes.

-Do you know this place?

-SCROOGE LAUGHS

Know it? I was an apprentice here!

Why, it's old Fezziwig.

Bless his heart! It's Fezziwig alive again!

BELL TOLLS

Ha-ha! Yoho! Ebenezer, come on!

Come on! Dick! Come on! It's 6.00! They're going to be here soon.

LAUGHTER

Dick Wilkins. Bless me, yes. There he is - Dick Wilkins.

He was very attached to me, was Dick.

LAUGHTER

Yoho, me lads! No more work tonight. It's Christmas Eve!

Hooray!

Dick, Ebenezer, let's get cleared away.

We want lots of space. Lots and lots of space.

Hee-hi!

Whoa!

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

CHATTERING AND LAUGHING

Maestro!

May I present...?

Whoo!

Whoo!

LAUGHTER

Well done! Well done!

And now, kind fiddler, if you please.

It is time for Sir Roger de Coverley!

Hey!

MUSIC PLAYS

SHOUTING AND LAUGHTER

Ebenezer, it's your pass.

MUSIC FADES

GENTLE, DREAMLIKE MUSIC

Another idol has replaced me.

-YOUNG SCROOGE:

-Another idol? What idol?

A golden one.

There is nothing on this Earth more terrifying to me

than a life doomed to poverty.

May I ask, why do you condemn, with such severity,

the honest pursuit of substance?

You fear the world too much, Ebenezer.

-You've changed.

-Changed?

Perhaps grown wiser, but I have not changed toward you.

Our contract is an old one.

It was made when we were both poor and content to be so.

When it was made...

-..you were another man.

-I was a boy!

I release you, Ebenezer.

Have I ever sought release?

-In words, no.

-In what, then?

In an altered spirit.

In another atmosphere of life.

In every thing that made my love of any worth in your sight.

Tell me, Ebenezer, if this contract had never been between us,

would you seek me out now?

No.

You think not?

I would gladly think otherwise if I could.

But if you were free today, would you choose a dowerless girl?

A girl left penniless by the death of her parents?

You, who weighs everything by gain?

I release you, Ebenezer.

May you be happy in the life you've chosen.

DOOR SHUTS

Spirit, remove me from this place.

I told you, these were shadows of things that have been.

They are what they are. Do not blame me.

Remove me. I cannot bear it.

Leave me! Take me back!

Haunt me no longer!

GROANING

SHOUTING

Hah.

SCREAMING

Ah! Oh!

WHIMPERING

Aaaagh!

Aaagh!

Ah! Ah!

Oh, blast!

BELL TOLLS ONCE

GHOSTLY LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER CONTINUES

Enter, Scrooge!

TINKLING MUSIC PLAYS

GHOST CHUCKLES

LAUGHTER CONTINUES

Come in! Come in and know me better, man!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

I am the Ghost of Christmas Present.

Look upon me!

SCROOGE WHIMPERS, GHOST LAUGHS

You have never seen the likes of me before?

Never.

Have never walked forth with my elder brothers?

I don't think that I have.

You have many brothers?

CHORTLING

More than 1,800.

1,842 to be exact.

Oh.

I see you wear a scabbard, but no sword.

Indeed.

Peace on Earth. Goodwill toward men.

Spirit, conduct me where you will.

LAUGHTER

Oh...

Touch my robe.

LOUD LAUGHTER

Oh! What's happening? What are you doing?

Aghh!

# Hark the herald angels sing

# Glory to the newborn king

# Peace on earth and mercy mild

# God and sinner reconciled... #

Oh!

Very strange.

Indeed. Not many mortals are granted

-a heavenly perspective of man's world.

-Yes.

# ..Hark the herald angels sing

# Glory to the new born king

# Peace on earth and mercy mild

# God and sinner reconciled

# Joyful all ye nations rise

# Join the triumph of the skies

# With the angelic host proclaim

# Christ is born in Bethlehem

# Hark the herald angels sing... #

It's quite beautiful.

Spirit, these poor people have no means to cook their food.

And yet you seek to close the only places

in which they can warm their meagre meals every seventh day.

RUMBLING

Hear me, Scrooge.

There are some upon this Earth of yours

who claim to know me and my brothers

and do their deeds of ill will and selfishness in our name.

These so called men of the cloth

are as strange to me and my kin as if they never lived.

Charge their doings to them, not us.

Aye. I will.

Smell that?

Cooking goose!

Come on!

GHOST LAUGHS

I take it this bleak paupers' dwelling is of some significance.

It is all your loyal clerk can afford for his meagre 15 bob a week.

-Mother!

-Papa!

We just came by the baker shop...

And smelled our goose, cooking delicious.

Shut the door, please. What happened to your precious father?

And your brother. And Martha - she wasn't as late last Christmas Day.

Mother, here she is. Here's Martha.

Martha! Wait till you see our goose. 'Tis a wonderful one.

Peter, off with you to the baker's and collect the bird.

And take the children with you. And pray, no dallying.

Why, bless your heart alive! Dear, how late you are!

We had work to finish up last night and clear away this morning.

Never mind. Long as you're here. Sit down before the fire and have a warm.

No. No, no, no. There's Father coming.

Hide, Martha. You must hide. Hide, Martha.

Ha-ha!

-It's cold out there.

-Hello, Father. Hello, Timmy.

-Why, where's our Martha?

-Uh...not coming.

Not coming? Not coming upon Christmas Day?

Here I am, Father! >

We got you, Father.

I couldn't bear to see you in a state of disappointment. If only for a giggle.

It's so lovely to see you, my Martha.

Come on, Timmy. I hear the pudding singing in the copper.

Shall we have a look, then?

-How did little Timmy behave?

-As good as gold. And better.

Somehow he gets thoughtful sitting by himself so much

and he thinks the strangest things you ever heard.

He told me, coming home, that he hoped the people sawed him in church, because he was a cripple...

...and it might make pleasant for them to remember upon Christmas Day

who made lame beggars walk and blind men see.

I believe he grows more hearty and stronger every day, my dear.

HALTING FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

The pudding looks delicious!

The whole wash house smells like a pastry cook's shop.

Spirit, tell me, will Tiny Tim...?

I see a vacant seat in the poor chimney corner...

..and a crutch without an owner.

Carefully preserved.

Hurrah! The Christmas goose!

Make space. Let's get that cover off.

ALL: Oh!

Lovely! Well done, Peter.

I don't believe I've ever seen a more magnificent goose cooked.

It is a beautiful bird, that's for sure.

But I'll pray that one Christmas, perhaps,

the children might taste a turkey.

Perhaps one day, my dear. Perhaps one day.

A toast.

To Mr Scrooge.

The founder of our feast.

Ha! Founder of the feast, indeed. I wish I had him here.

I'd give him a piece of my mind to feast upon,

and I'd hope he'd have a good appetite for it.

My dear, the children... It's Christmas Day.

Christmas Day, I'm sure. How can one drink the health

of such an odious, stingy, hard, unfeeling man as Mr Scrooge?

As you know he is, Robert. Nobody knows it better than you.

My dear, Christmas Day.

I'll drink his health for your sake and the day's, not for his.

A merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

He'll be very merry and very happy, I have no doubt.

A merry Christmas to us all, my dears. God bless us.

ALL: God bless us.

God bless us, every one.

ALL: Merry Christmas and happy New Year. God bless.

Kind spirit, say Tiny Tim will be spared.

If these shadows remain unaltered by the future...

the child will die.

Die! No, spirit. No.

What then? If he is to die, "He had better do it...

"and decrease the surplus population."

ha-ha-ha!

VOICES, LAUGHTER

So you're thinking of an animal?

-Yes.

-A live animal?

-Yes.

-A rather disagreeable animal?

-Yes.

-A savage animal?

-Yes.

-Wait, wait! Is it an animal that grunts and growls?

-Yes!

-And lives in London?

-Yes.

-A horse?

-No.

-A cow?

-No.

-A dog? A pig?

-No.

-An ass?

-Yes and no.

Oh!

I know who it is, Fred! I know! It's your Uncle Scrooge!

-Yes!

-LAUGHTER

Christmas a humbug? Now, he actually said that?

As I live. And he believes it.

I have no patience with him, Fred.

I have. I'm sorry for him.

Who suffers from his ill whims? Only himself.

He decides to dislike us, won't come and dine with us,

and what's the consequence? He loses a dinner.

Indeed, he loses a very good dinner.

Hear, hear. A magnificent dinner.

He's certainly given us plenty of merriment, that's for sure,

and I think it would be ungrateful not to drink to his health.

He wouldn't take it from me, but he may have it nevertheless.

A merry Christmas to the old man, whatever he is. Uncle Scrooge.

ALL: To Uncle Scrooge!

BELL TOLLS

BELL TOLLS, CLOCK TICKING

Are spirits' lives so short?

My life upon this globe is very brief.

It ends tonight.

-Tonight?

-Tonight at midnight.

CLATTERING

Hark. The time is drawing near.

LOUD TICKING

Forgive me...but I see something strange protruding from your skirt.

Is it a foot or a claw?

It might be a claw, for the scant amount of flesh there is upon it.

Look here.

CHILD SNARLS

Oh, man. Look here.

You daft old geezer.

-Look! Look!

-SCROOGE WHIMPERS

Down here!

Aagh.

HISSING, SNARLING Go away!

Are they yours?

They are man's.

-This boy is Ignorance.

-HISSING

-This girl is Want.

-MOANING

Beware them both.

-BELL TOLLS LOUDLY

-Oh!

Ah!

-BELL TOLLING

-Ah!

Aargh!

Have they no refuge? No resource?

"Are there no prisons?"

BELL TOLLS

"Are there no workhouses?"

Ha-ha ha-ha-ha!

CACKLING

BELL TOLLS

SCREAMING

BELL TOLLS

LAUGHING ECHOES, BELL TOLLS

WIND HOWLING

LAUGHING ECHOES

BELL TOLLS

WIND HOWLS

CLOCK TICKING

Oh...

CLOCK TICKS LOUDLY

Am I in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come?

SILENCE

You're about to show me shadows

of the things that have not happened but will happen. Is that so, spirit?

SILENCE

Ghost of the Future, I fear you more than any spectre I have seen.

But I know your purpose is to do me good.

I am prepared to bear you company. Lead on.

SILENCE

The night is waning fast. It's precious time to me.

Lead on, spirit.

ROARING

-When did he die?

-Last night, I believe.

-Or sometime Christmas Day.

-I thought he'd never die.

What's he done with his money?

Hasn't left it to me. That's all I know.

THEY LAUGH

It is likely to be a cheap funeral.

For the life of me, I can't think of anyone who'd want to attend it.

I don't mind going... if lunch is provided.

Yes! LAUGHING

What a frightful fellow!

-All right.

-Good day, gentlemen.

Get a hold of yourself, Ebenezer. You're having a wobbly.

HOOF BEATS APPROACHING

HORSES GRUNTING

WHIP SNAPS

HORSES WHINNYING

WHIP SNAPS

Aagh!

Oh...!

Whoo!

SCREAMING, LAUGHING

Oh! Oh!

SHOUTING

MOANING

WHIP SNAPS, NEIGHING

WHIP CRACKS

PANTING, WHIMPERING

-HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:

-You won't get me in here.

Christmas pudding, no doubt.

Ahrgh!

I'm... I'm on Lime Street.

HORSES WHINNYING

Oh, come now.

Aaagh!

Oh!

Ah!

Whoa!

Aaaagh!

Merry Christmas, Joe.

And happy New Year, to be sure. Come in.

Sit down in me parlour and let's have a look.

Here.

Whoa!

What do you call these, Mrs Dilber, huh?

Mrs Dilber?

Bed curtains.

You mean to say you took them down while he was lying there?

I do. And why not?

THEY LAUGH

You was born to make your fortune, and you certainly will do it.

Well, I shan't hold back my hand when I can get something by it...

Don't you go getting grease on them blankets now.

-His blankets?!

-Whose else do you think?

He won't be feeling the cold without them now, I dare say.

I hope he didn't die of anything catching.

Don't you be afeard of that.

I ain't so fond of his company that I'd loiter about.

You can look through that shirt till your eyes ache,

and you won't find one hole in it.

-It was the best he had.

-Mrs Dilber!

Would have been wasted, only for me.

-You're fired! Fired!

-How did you mean "wasted"?

Somebody was fool enough to put it on him to be buried in.

But I took it off him.

LAUGHTER

This is the end of it, you see.

He frightened everyone away while he was alive.

Only to profit us now that he's dead.

If he'd had somebody to look after him when he was struck with death,

instead of lying there, all alone, gasping out his last breath...

well, we wouldn't have these things to sell now, would we?

SNIFFING

SQUEALING

Whoa!

-HIGH PITCHED VOICE:

-Spirit! I see! I see!

The case of this unhappy man who dies a solitary, lonesome death might be my own.

-NORMAL VOICE:

-My life tends that way now.

Merciful heavens! What's this?

Spirit, this is a fearful place.

When I leave it, I shall not leave its lesson. Trust me. Let's go!

I understand. And I would if I could, but I have not the power.

Spirit, if there is any person who feels emotion caused by this man's death,

show that person to me, I beg you.

-Are we ruined?

-There is hope yet.

Hope? Only if he relents.

He is past relenting.

He is dead.

Dead?

LAUGHING

To whom will our debts be transferred?

I don't know, but by then we'll have the money.

And even if we don't, it's unlikely any new creditor will ever be so merciless.

We shall sleep tonight with light hearts, my dear.

Let me see some tenderness connected to death,

or this chamber will forever haunt me!

CLOCK CHIMES

It's late.

Past your father's time.

He's walked slow these last few evenings.

Oh, he has walked...

..with Tiny Tim on his shoulders... fast, indeed.

But he was very light...

..to carry, and...

..your father loved him so.

SOBBING

DOOR OPENS

Father. You went today, then?

Yes, my dear.

I wish you could have gone.

Would have done you good to see how green a place it is.

You'll see it often.

And I promised him I would walk there every...every Sunday.

SOBBING

My little child!

My little child.

Father, please don't be grieved! Please, Father!

I'm all right, love. I'm quite at peace.

I'm sure none of us will ever forget our poor Tiny Tim.

Oh, no, Father. Never ever.

Thank you.

Thank you, my dears.

Ah...

Bob...

SOBBING

Spectre...something tells me our parting moment is at hand.

Tell me...

who...was that man we saw lying dead?

HE SCREAMS

Oh!

THUNDER CRASHES

WIND HOWLS

Spirit...

..before I draw nearer to that stone to which you point,

answer me one question!

Are these the shadows of things that will be

or shadows of things that may be?

Men's courses in life foreshadow certain ends.

But if these courses are departed from, these ends will change. Isn't that so?

No. No!

Am I that man who lay upon the bed?

-THUNDER CRASHES

-No. Spirit, hear me!

I'm not the man I was!

Why show me this if I'm past all hope?

Spirit!

Spirit, assure me that I may change these shadows you've shown me!

Change them by an altered life!

THUNDER CRASHES

No, spirit! No! No, spirit!

Oh!

Ah! Agh!

Good spirit...help me!

Spirit!

Help me, spirit!

HE SCREAMS

-COFFIN LID CREAKS

-Ah!

Help, spirit!

Aaaaaagh!

Spirit, I will honour Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year.

I will not shut out the lessons of the past, nor present, nor future.

Oh, please, spirit,

tell me I may sponge away the writing on that stone!

WIND HOWLS

Aaaaargh!

CRASHING

WHIMPERING

Still here?

They're still here. Ha-ha-ha!

I'm still here.

I'm still here!

I'm still here!

LAUGHING

I don't know what to do.

I'm light as a feather, merry as a schoolboy.

I've heard that laugh before.

CHUCKLING

Ah!

-I say, what's today?

-Eh?

-What's today, my fine fellow?

-Today? Why, Christmas Day.

It's Christmas Day? I haven't missed it.

The spirits have done it all in one night.

They can do anything they like. Of course they can. Of course they can.

Hello, my fine fellow. Do you know the poulterer's on the corner?

-I should hope I did.

-What an intelligent boy.

Do you know whether they've sold the prize turkey that was hanging there?

Not the little prize turkey, the big one.

-The one as big as me?

-What a delightful child.

-Yes, my buck.

-It's hanging there now.

Is it? Go and buy it, then!

-Walker!

-No, no, I'm in earnest.

Go and buy it, bring it back here, and I'll give you a shilling.

Come back in less than five minutes, and I'll give you a half a crown.

I'll send it to Bob Cratchit's. He shan't know who sent it.

It's twice the size of Tiny Tim.

LAUGHING

Mrs Dilber.

Merry Christmas!

Oh, my God!

Aaaagh!

He's gone mad!

Yay!

My dear Mrs Dilber,

you're the loveliest creature I have ever laid eyes upon.

Dance with me, Mrs Dilber. Dance with me!

You're barmy, Mr Scrooge! Unhand me! Agh!

He's completely deranged! Help!

-What a charming woman.

-Help!

->

I shall love it as long as I live.

What an honest face it has.

Ooh! Heh-heh!

Hello. Here's the bird.

Hello! Whoop!

How are you? Merry Christmas.

Why, it's impossible to carry that to Camden Town. You must have a cab.

Drive on, my good man!

HE LAUGHS

Hillyho! Chirrup!

Ha-ha!

Yahoo!

Hip, hip! Chirryup!

Bob's your uncle! Fanny's your aunt! Ha-ha!

Live it up, folks! You'll be a long time dead!

Don't let the worms have all the fun.

Merry Christmas.

# Joy to the world

# The lord has come

# Let earth receive her king

# Let every heart... #

Good morning, sir. A merry Christmas to you.

-And to you, sir.

-Happy holiday!

And a merry Christmas to you.

-God bless you, sir.

-Thank you, sir.

-Glad tidings.

-Sir.

My dear sir, how do you do? I hope you succeeded yesterday.

A merry Christmas to you, sir.

Mr Scrooge?

Yes. That is my name, and I fear it may not be pleasant to you.

But allow me to ask your pardon.

And will you have the goodness...

Lord bless me!

-My dear, Mr Scrooge, are you serious?

-And not a farthing less.

A great many back payments are included in it, I assure you.

My dear sir, I don't know what to say to such...

Do not say anything. I'm much obliged to you.

Many thanks to you. And bless you.

# ..Let everyone

# Prepare him room

# And heaven and angels sing... #

SINGING DIES AWAY

# And heaven... #

ALL SING LOUDLY

# And heaven and angels sing! #

BELL TOLLING

-Is your master at home?

-Yes, sir.

I'm...his uncle.

-< Is it an animal that grunts and growls?

-Yes.

-And lives in London?

-Yes.

-A horse?

-No.

-A cow?

-No.

-A dog.

-A pig.

-No.

-An ass.

-Yes and no.

-I know what it is, Fred! I know!

-What?

-It's your...

Uncle Scrooge?

Well, bless my soul.

I've...come to dinner...

..if you'll have me.

Of course, Uncle! Welcome! Welcome!

Merry Christmas! Everybody, this is my uncle, Ebenezer.

Be good and pass this.

-Here you go.

-Enjoy.

Next year we must have this dinner at my house.

I insist.

I'll spare no expense. After all, you can't take it with you, can you?

No, you can't!

BELL TOLLING, CLOCK TICKING

Ha-ha! A full 16 minutes late.

What do you mean by coming here at this time of day?

I'm very sorry, sir! I am a bit behind in my time.

You are, indeed.

Step in here.

Well, it's only once a year, sir.

It shall not be repeated. I was making rather merry yesterday.

Now, I'll tell you what, Mr Cratchit.

I'm not going to stand for this sort of thing any longer.

And therefore...

And therefore...

I am about to raise your salary!

Ha-ha!

A merry Christmas to you, Bob.

A merrier Christmas, Bob, my good fellow,

than I've given you in many a year.

I'll raise your salary, and do whatever I can to help your struggling family.

And we'll discuss your affairs

this very afternoon over a bowl of Christmas punch.

But first, let's make up the fires.

I want you to go out...

..and buy another scuttle of coal

before you dot another "i," Bob Cratchit.

Off with you, Bob.

We've wassailing to do.

Hillyho, Bob!

Yeah. Yes, sir. Right away, sir.

MUSIC: The Wassail Song

# Love and joy come to you

# And to you your wassail too

# And God bless you and send you a happy new year

# A happy new year, happy new year

# And God send you a happy new year... #

And Scrooge was better than his word.

He did all that he said he would and more.

And to our Tiny Tim, who got well, Scrooge was like a second father.

He became as good a friend, as good a master

and as good a man as the good old city ever knew.

And it was always said of him that he knew how to keep Christmas well.

And so, as Tiny Tim observed...

God bless us, every one.

# Hark the herald angels sing

# Glory to the newborn ki-ing! #