Buster

Oh...!

This film contains strong language.

# Keep on running

# Keep on hiding

# One fine day I'm gonna be the one to make you understand

# Oh yeah, I'm gonna be your man...#

BURGLAR ALARM

# Keep on running

# Running from my arms

# One fine day I'm gonna be the one to make you understand

# Oh yeah, I'm gonna be your man

# Hey, hey, hey

# Everyone is talking about me

# It makes me feel so bad

# Hey, hey, hey!

# Everyone is laughing at me

# It makes me feel so sad

# Just keep on running

# Hey, hey, hey!

# All right... #

SIRENS BLARE

# Keep on running... #

Taxi!

# Running from my arms

# One fine day I'm gonna be the one to make you understand

# Oh yeah, I'm gonna be your man

# Hey, hey, hey

# Everyone is talking about me

# It makes me feel so sad... #

..resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ...

who shall change the body of our low estate that it may be like unto His glorious body...

according to the mighty working,

-whereby He is able to subdue all things to Himself.

-Amen.

­ Morning, Mr Mitchell.

What's he doing here?

Showing his respect. Shame you couldn't have done the same.

I was at the tables...

Get lucky, did you?

Yeah. I bought a new suit.

I'd never have noticed(!)

Mr Mitchell, fancy seeing you here!

I sent the old lag down more times than I can remember.

Only right and proper I show up.

And these occasions help me keep in touch.

Give the public what they want, they'll show up for it.

They'll come when you go, Biggsy. To make sure you're dead.

How's June, Buster? Baby coming along OK this time?

Fine, Mr Mitchell.

Can I offer you a ride, Mr Mitchell?

No thanks, Bruce. I've got a police car.

Coming with us, Buster?

No, Harry. I kept the taxi. I'm going home in style.

After a night at the tables, you'll need a peace offering.

I can handle June.

Course you can, Buster.

­ That's one pound ten, mate.

Thirty bob? Just from Peckham?

< You got a dodgy clock there, boy. You better hang on.

< I ain't moving, sunshine.

KNOCKS ON DOOR

You won - thank God!

Not exactly. You like the flowers, then?

What do you mean, not exactly?

Well, you know. I lost a few bob.

Lend us a quid to pay the taxi.

You mean you lost. The lot?

Nah...!

Well, sort of, yeah.

The rent man calls today. How am I supposed to pay him?

Come on, Juney. We'll find a way.

We always do.

And where did you get that suit?

Tell you later. The clock's still going.

(Buster, I can't go on like this.)

He'll go away in a minute.

(Nicky, come back here!)

­ Good day, madam. Are your mummy and daddy there?

(Darlin', we're not in!)

No!

They're behind the couch.

-TV:

-'If you don't believe me, look. A lump the size of a walnut'

So why can't we, Buster?

Why can't we what?

Why can't we buy that house?

It was two hours ago we had that conversation!

It was before "Rawhide" started.

Well, why, Buster?

Let me watch the telly, June.

You've always had enough money.

You've had it when I've had it.

That's not the point. We're a family now.

We need a home of our own.

What with Nicky and the new baby on the way.

Has Nicky ever gone without?

No, but the rent man has.

I don't want to hide behind the couch every month. >

You can pay rent. Why can't you pay for a house?

How much is the house, June?

£3,000.

-How much to rent this place?

-£3 a week.

That's why. Now let me watch the cowboys!

You could get a mortgage.

Borrow it. From a bank.

I do borrow from banks. That is my job.

I mean with their permission.

I can just see my reference. From Harry Stenford,

labourer and heavy villain.

Or we could ask the Governor of Brixton Prison.

Buster, please! I just want some security for us - as a family.

Look, I'm a lucky thief.

You don't need no house. Not when I'm around.

And what happens when your luck runs out?

Where's the baby clothes coming from then?

You want baby things, write a list. I'll get them.

No-one can say I don't provide for this family.

Right. If that's how you want it.

Bloody hell!

'Let's head 'em up and move them out!'

"RAWHIDE" THEME SONG

I've missed it now!

I used to have one of these.

That'll do. Right, now...

Plastic pants, nappies, talcum powder, safety pins.

Sterilising liquid... Jesus, what's she want that for?

That'll come in useful!

# We wish you a merry Christmas...

# And a happy New Year! #

What the bloody hell! Who's that?

Buster! What time is it?

It's Christmas time!

Six to twelve months? It's too big.

You'll have to take it back. Did you get a receipt?

No, I didn't get a receipt!

Come here.

Oh, June. I do love you, darlin'.

I know you do, darlin'.

Oh, something is sticking in me.

TOY SQUEAKS

SQUEAKING CONTINUES

I've got some good info, Harry.

-Oh?

-Remember that poofy lawyer?

Yeah.

Me and Bruce met him at the track. Got terrific info this time.

I remember last time.

We was unlucky, that's all.

-We wasn't unlucky.

-I

-was unlucky.

I done the 18 months. You went off to watch Charlton Athletic.

Well, they got beat four nil.

Sorry, mate.

Oh, bloody dogs!

Look, Harry. It's the big one, this job. Really.

Five grand, is it, this time? Split ten ways?

I had to get the fucking Tube home after the last job with you.

You still knocking off Mothercare, are you, Buster?

How does a million quid grab you?

It's straight up, this one, honest.

Yeah? What is it? Elizabeth Taylor's jewellery?

No, you stupid prick.

It's a Royal Mail train.

Carries a million quid on a bank holiday weekend.

And we're gonna nick it. One million quid.

What does Bruce say?

Bruce thinks it's on.

Ouch! Bloody hell!

I'm soaked! My feet!

Careful!

'Ere, who do you think you are? >

Akaba, old son, Akaba!

-Towards the guns. Charge!

-My hero!

We've struggled across 200 miles of desert to bring you this message.

What message is that, then? >

My faithful servant, June, has it about her person.

< I've got it here, Orenz!

"Two cod and chips and heavy on the vinegar, please!"

Ain't no-one nicked stuff off a train before, Bruce. Not big stuff.

I know that, Harry.

So are we gonna have a trial run?

Yeah, but not on the main line.

The best time to take it is after the bank holiday weekend.

So there's plenty of time to practise.

Practise?

We'll go into training - like the Olympics.

By the time we're through, we'll be able to lift any amount of cash off any train.

So what's the plan?

-First we're gonna need some help.

-What sort of help?

Expert help. None of us have ever stopped a train before, have we?

That's easy - just pull the communication cord.

That's not how it works.

You can't judge accurately where the train's gonna stop.

So?

So I want to bring George's lot in. >

No. He's an arsehole.

No, Harry. He's just a smug little bastard, but he knows how to do it. >

And we can't just wing it when there's a million quid at stake.

We've got to know exactly where the train's going to stop.

Wait for me! >

Attagirl, Nicky!

Round you go!

Give it a push. Push, push, push!

Not too fast!

It's unlucky working with another firm. There's bound to be arguments.

Let's do the trial run first and see if it works.

If it doesn't, I call George the next day.

I still say he's an arsehole.

Right, gentlemen, here we all are.

As last Friday's fiasco showed us, we're still in need of a little work.

So I've asked George and his firm to come and show how they'll stop the train.

Some of you lot tried nicking stuff from a train before. Didn't work, did it?

Get on with it!

This is what you do.

I'll be up on the gantry. When Bruce gives me the word,

I'll cover the green lights like so.

Then I connect the battery to the red light.

Presto!

How you get the train from the gantry to the bridge - is up to you.

Fucking push it, if we have to.

No need for that, Harry.

Everything's all been taken care of.

We'll have two army jeeps and an army truck parked under a bridge just up the line.

The roads are usually deserted.

However, just in case...

..we'll wear army fatigues, as there's an army base in the area.

We'll pass the bags from the train down the embankment

to where they'll be loaded...

CRASH

..into the truck.

The real problem, as George pointed out,

is how to get the train from the stopping point...

to the bridge.

Fortunately, Ronnie's come up with the perfect feller.

Old Walter - used to be a train driver for forty years.

What's he been up to this time?

He never says, you know that.

You're not like this usually.

< It's something big.

He's on about this dream all the time. About how we're gonna be rich.

I dunno, I just don't understand it.

What's he after this time? The Crown Jewels?

Mum, I'm scared.

He's gonna try something silly and get hisself nicked!

June. He's a lucky thief. He's only ever been inside for two weeks.

He's been careful. He's only done London jobs.

God knows where he's off to now.

It's that Bruce's fault. He's been the one getting at Buster.

You'll just have to talk to him.

I've tried talking to him until I'm blue in the face.

He just watches the telly. Or he gets cross and goes to the pub.

Keeps telling me he's doing it for me.

What about the baby?

Oh, he provides for it all right.

He's nicked stuff from every Mothercare in London.

I mean does he want it?

He didn't get no receipt so he can't take the clobber back.

Oh!

June... June, what is it?

June?!

You are sure about this old geezer, Ronnie?

Leave off! He's been a train driver for 40 years!

He's on a British Railways pension of £3 a week.

He'd drive a rocket for ten grand!

Jesus Christ! He thinks he's going on holiday!

Bye, love!

SHE GASPS

The ambulance will be here in a minute.

Are you all right?

Oh, I wish Buster was here.

Some bleeding hope!

Now just breathe in hard and try not to think about him.

Yeah.

Oh, Mum! Christ!

There's a good girl.

Mum, honest, Buster'd be just as worried if he was here.

Where the hell is he? He should be with his wife at a time like this!

You're five months gone. Anything could be happening in there.

He's working, Mum.

Of course he is. Proper little breadwinner, he is.

Oh, no! It's starting again!

You'll be all right, June.

We'll manage by ourselves. We did last time.

Yeah, I was only eight weeks gone last time.

BREATHES DEEPLY

All right, hang on. Hang on.

Oh, Jesus! I'm losing it, Mum!

-RADIO:

-'One of the chief witnesses in the trial of Dr Stephen Ward

'has admitted perjuring herself.'

'Today, President Kennedy and his wife Jacqueline

'attended the funeral of their infant son Patrick.'

Where are your gloves?

In me pocket.

Gloves.

Sssh.

'Rain and fog at first. Cloudy but brighter later. Maximum temperature 68 degrees.'

No shooters!

Get rid of it.

Tut, tut, tut!

Got that last clue yet?

Come on, move it! Move it!

Go!

Come on, come on! Move up here!

One minute!

Everybody ready?

Ready.

It's coming. I'm on my way.

TRAIN WHISTLE

Jesus Christ! It's worked!

Walter!

Right, old man, let's get this thing moving.

-WALTER:

-Anyone got a light?

Right, let's see. Where's the vacuum? Oh, here we are!

Nothing.

Nothing new, eh?

-HARRY:

-Shit, come on!

I can't get the vacuum!

I'll shove it up your arse!

< I told Ronnie I'd never driven a diesel!

If you don't get this thing moving in 30 seconds,

you and him are six feet under.

I only worked in a shunting yard.

Get the other driver in here!

I'll get the hang of it in a few minutes.

< Get this thing moving!

Go!

Get under the ledge! Under the ledge!

Half a dozen stamps and two premium bonds, please.

Get 'em out the back!

HARRY: Come on, come on, let's go!

BUSTER: That one's mine, Harry!

Jesus Christ! Look at it! Bleeding look at it!

What a birthday! What a bleeding birthday present!

What's this lot?

-Scottish notes!

-Anyone want these?

-No. Send it back!

Happy birthday, Harold!

-ALL:

-Happy birthday!

Here's your cup of tea. Sit up.

Drink it while it's hot. It'll do you good.

Thanks, Mum.

You read about that robbery?

It's all over the wireless.

Hmm, some cheek, eh?

Takes a bit of nerve though. Still, a million quid!

"Biggest ever mail robbery."

< What I could do with a million quid!

Dream come true, that is.

< Oh no, June! Buster's not on this one!

Dream come true, Mum.

You said it yourself.

This one says it was 30 masked men.

How many in the Express, Ronnie?

This says 30 an' all.

If I was one of them bastards on the train, I'd think there was 30 of us, too.

The Telegraph's got a good report. Everyone read it?

I wonder if they'll ever admit how much we did nick?

If the reward is one per cent, it'll be twenty-five grand.

That'll set a few tongues wagging.

Not here it won't. We're solid.

The Old Bill thinks we're still within 30 miles of the train.

It's a bluff. They got nothing to go on.

-RADIO:

-'Police today announced that army vehicles were used...'

Ron, your gloves!

I'm not the only one, Bruce.

'The total is believed to be in the region of two million,

'six hundred thousand...'

Whose go is it?

It's my go.

'The search for the hideout used by the gang will include checks on all farms and outlying property...

'in a radius of 30 miles from the location of the robbery at Seers Crossing.'

We should get back to London.

Who asked you, arsehole?

If we leave now someone'll get picked up.

We've all got alibis and safe houses.

And £150,000 in a suitcase. How are you going to explain that lot?

If the law knows we're in a 30-mile radius, they could be here before Sunday.

There's no point in sitting on our arses waiting for them to find us! >

Right. We'll go.

I'll get Fairclough to send the dustmen in to clean this place.

Mr Fairclough.

What's wrong with the phone?

My friends want to leave.

Supposed to stay till Sunday.

They want to get back to London.

That's their lookout.

They want you to get the dustmen down there today.

I can't at such short notice.

It's what you're being paid for. I wouldn't try and cross them.

Fellas like them, with cash like that, can be a bit edgy.

Know what I mean?

Thanks, darlin'.

(That's Daddy!)

Give us a kiss. Missed your daddy?

June!

What do you think of your clever old man then, eh?

Law's gonna come after you, Son.

I got the whole thing planned.

Like June's pregnancy?

Look, ain't no-one gonna touch us now, Mum. We're gonna see the world.

Besides, the heat'll be off in a few weeks.

You're riding for a fall, Buster.

Don't you take my daughter and granddaughter down with you.

Yeah, all right.

Yeah, poppet. Fancy a nice holiday then?

Let's get the bags.

'Where are we going?'

'Shepperton - nice little semi.'

You'll like it there.

Buster, I've got something to tell you.

-What?

-I've lost the baby.

Sorry to keep you waiting, boys. The jury's only just retired.

Why ain't you answered our calls?

I wanted to be sure my friend had done his job clearing up the farm.

-And has he?

-Not as yet, no.

You fucking...!

You should never have left the farm early.

So when will he be here?

Have you been careless with your prints?

We paid you to get that place cleaned!

He will be there this afternoon. Tomorrow at the latest.

We can't wait that long.

You have been careless with your prints, haven't you?

Let's burn the bleeder down.

We'll have to get back down there!

-RADIO:

-'..He's been bowling some very unpleasant balls

'from the Vauxhall end and bouncing it a bit.'

'...23 balls on the West Indies innings.

'He's going to bowl to Ken Barrington...'

'We're going back to Broadcasting House for a newsflash.'

'Police investigating the Great Train Robbery have found the robbers' hideout.'

'It is Leatherslade Farm near the village of Oakley in Buckinghamshire.'

'Det Supt Fewtrell said this afternoon

'"The place is one big clue."'

That's it. We're nicked.

They won't find anything there to connect to us.

We're all in safe houses, aren't we?

"The place is one big clue." What the hell does that mean?

Prints, probably.

We were all wearing gloves.

We should burn the bleeder down.

Don't be crazy, Harry. That place'll be swarming with the law.

And journalists - we're famous now.

More popular than Christine Keeler and The Beatles.

Great(!)

Anyone got two bob for the bill?

Are you sure you won't have a drink, Poyser?

I'm sorry, sir. I don't drink.

The robbery was over a month ago.

As conventional police tactics haven't unearthed Reynolds or Edwards...

it might help your career if you were to start drinking.

Scotch and soda please, Cooper.

We've picked up four of them. We'll get the lot eventually.

-Eventually is not good enough.

-This is a crime against the very structure of our society.

We know the men in most cases, sir.

All the more reason why they should be under lock and key.

You see, Mr Poyser, we cannot afford for the British public

to take the side of burglars...

against the forces of law and justice. >

I hardly think that's likely, Sir James.

Oh, indeed!

So nobody in Scotland Yard reads the papers any more?

Fleet Street drivel! Nobody believes this Robin Hood nonsense.

Really? Then it may come as a surprise to you...

to know that the very same people who read "Fleet Street drivel"

also have the vote.

Regrettable perhaps, but a fact of political life.

It'll take a couple of weeks at the most, sir.

Ten days, tops, sir.

"And they're off!"

"A great level start right across the course..."

Let's try next door.

DOORBELL RINGS

TV COMMENTARY CONTINUES

He's shut the door, Mum!

David, go round the back and knock on the window.

And tell the man to answer the door.

My mum says open the door!

Piss off before I do you!

Mum...!

< Hello!

You're Mr Green, aren't you?

Yes, yes, I am.

I'm so sorry to trouble you, but I've locked myself out next door.

Oh!

I'm Linda Simpson. This is Susan and David.

< You've got a little girl, haven't you?

Might have. Yeah, we have, yeah.

Nicky, isn't it?

I don't like to ask - but my husband's away on business.

He's a management consultant.

You want a lift up, or something?

< Have you got a ladder?

Bloody neighbours!

Oh no!

(What are you doing?!)

Hello, Mrs Green.

This must be Nicky. This is Susan and David.

Your husband has agreed to help me. I locked myself out.

I was so looking forward to meeting our new neighbours.

Give it back, David!

SIRENS BLARE

Ronald Edwards!

The house is completely surrounded!

Come out and give yourself up quietly!

Gone?

What do you mean, gone?

We missed 'em by about half an hour, sir.

I can't release that in a press statement, Mitchell.

And it won't do anything for the Commissioner's health either.

We think they're on their own patch. They'll feel safer in South London.

I don't want theories. I want these men locked up!

We've caught eight of the bastards. They'll soon start squealing.

Oh, come on, Inspector. You read the newspapers.

Since those pictures of Edwards and Reynolds have appeared,

they've become proper little folk heroes.

I've known Edwards for a few years now, sir.

I can get the word out this morning if you like.

No, Jack!

No deals! Not on this one.

I want those bastards nailed to the floor.

And so do you.

Your neck's on the line, too.

Right, they're all sorted and labelled. Think you can manage?

I think so.

Who's this Albert Stapleton, then?

He's the bloke arranging the transfer to Swiss francs.

Yeah, I've heard of him.

He's a wanker.

He came very highly recommended.

You must be crazy. You should be in Switzerland.

It's the only way you can be sure you're not being taken for a ride.

I ain't been outside this house for six months, Jimmy!

By the way, who is the Prime Minister these days?

Tell me about this lot.

That one is yours.

This is for the rent on this place. And this is for Keith.

He's trying to find somewhere abroad for us. Any news on them passports?

The regular forgers won't touch it. The law's turned them all over.

Hello, Sally. Didn't know you wore glasses.

I take 'em off for the customers, Sergeant.

We heard as you were seeing this Great Train Robber.

Buster Edwards? Here? You must be joking!

Everyone knows about him and June.

Hello, Harry!

You hid any of that two and a half million quid up there?

I don't know how to do it. I never had a garden before.

I never had a beard before, but I ain't bellyaching.

All right, Buster. You weed the garden, I'll weed your beard.

Just do something, you old ratbag.

I don't know what to do! I might be digging up a 50-year-old dehydrangea.

If it's 50 years old it'll probably need digging up!

Well, I can't do it.

"Britain's most wanted criminal was arrested while weeding the garden!"

We can't have a gardener in.

And if we don't do something we'll have the neighbours round.

Mmmm.

Shall I ring Jimmy?

No. We can't ask him to do everything. I'll think of something.

Right.

Hello, Harry.

Hello, Mr Mitchell.

You heard what's happened to your friends? We got the lot, pretty much.

You're going down for a hell of a stretch, Son.

(You interested in releasing information about Bruce and Buster?)

You offering me a deal, Mr Mitchell?

Come on, Harry. Be sensible. They'd shop you if they were here.

Where are they, Harry? I want them.

Sorry, Mr Mitchell.

I don't know nothing.

Sorry.

I'm glad there's no Richie Benaud this time.

I beg your pardon?

Australian - cricketer.

Ah! I never cared for cricket much. I was a wet bob.

Eton?

Radley.

My youngest goes in September. I hope he survives.

Five years in a good public school would sort our criminals out.

I doubt they could take it. Remember the cold showers?

And the beatings. Appalling.

Do you think we should start with those train robbers?

The feeling is hostile.

Could you have a word in the right ear?

I don't like to interfere at Crown Court level.

Do you have any particular figure in mind?

The thought was suggested...thirty.

Thirty?!

Somebody must be very cross.

We must re-establish some sort of authority before the election.

Agreed. Absolutely.

But thirty years for a robbery! A bit steep, don't you think?

Not really. No.

BUSTER: You reckon Mitchell'll do a deal?

-BRUCE:

-There ain't gonna be no deals, Buster.

It's just that June's not all that keen on Mexico.

Shit, June!

Who wears the trousers in your house?

A lot of the time, Bruce, ain't neither of us!

We're getting on really well these days.

If we'd taken the Crown Jewels they couldn't be coming after us any harder.

Her mother reckons...

I'm sick and tired of hearing about June's mother!

If you're so keen take her with you.

I'm not keen, Bruce.

Franny is going ahead - to make sure the Old Bill ain't following.

She'll be in Acapulco in a couple of weeks.

Oh, Acapulco!

Where's that, then?

Oh, Mexico, you ignorant sod!

So when are you coming?

I don't know. June hates abroad.

You reckon even if we gave the whole lot back, it'd still be no deal?

No deals, Buster.

Don't waste your brain thinking about them.

As it is now, we can't even get out the front door.

You can live like a king in Mexico on two grand a year.

Just think of it. The sun, the sand, the sea, the birds.

All that crumpet, Buster,

just waiting for you to come up and grab handfuls of it!

It's that dream we've worked all our lives for.

I know that, Bruce. That's what I told June.

Don't make no difference though. Women are funny like that.

(It's unbelievable. 307 years!)

Thirty years for robbery! It's a bleeding disgrace!

They'd have got off lighter if they had killed someone!

It's that Profumo mess that's done it. The world's turned upside down!

They'll be in their sixties before they come out.

Never see their families again.

They're hard men, June. They'll make it.

Harry's in solitary already.

Screw some tart who gives secrets to the Russians and you don't get invited to parties no more.

Nick a few quid from a train and you do thirty years!

Bastards!

Come on, June, just think about Mexico. All that sun and sea.

It's our dream. It's the good life.

I don't want you to go, Buster.

Me and Bruce are the only two left on the run.

Mitchell'd give his granny to get us!

I want us to go together.

It's too dodgy. You're safe here. Jimmy'll look after you.

And your mum's here to keep you company.

Besides, it's easier if I travel on me own.

Trust me, eh?

What if I ain't never gonna see you no more?

We'd better go, Buster.

The boat leaves at midnight.

How long? How long will it take?

I dunno. Maybe six weeks.

Stapleton worked us over good and proper.

I should've been in Switzerland handling that cash.

I'll soon have the bank accounts operating...

and find out what happened to that twenty grand.

I'll get the new passports and the tickets, and then I'll send for you.

Buster, come on. They'll go without you if you're not there.

Buster, don't go!

I'm frightened.

I love you so much.

I've been shut up with you for 24 hours a day, seven days a bleeding week, near enough.

Most men would've throttled their old ladies by now.

Know why I haven't? >

Cos you are the best bloody thing that's ever happened to me.

Kiss Nicky goodbye for me, eh?

Look, Mummy, look!

No more sweets, poppet.

Your teeth will fall out if you have any more today.

Can I have some chocolate buttons, Mum?

Would you like some jelly babies instead?

Both. >

Four ounces of each, please.

It's difficult when they keep going on like that.

< I have a grandchild just the same.

How old is she?

< It's a boy actually. Colin. Lovely little thing.

< Well, you always say that about your own, don't you?

How much do I owe you?

< Fourpence each...eightpence.

Come on, poppet. We'll be late for our tea. Save those till after.

You are an arsehole if you think the juries have changed in six months.

I wasn't at that farm and you can't fit me up, and you know it.

We'll nail you for aiding and abetting a Great Train Robber.

You'll go down for twenty, easy.

Fifty quid says it'll be less than five years.

I might just recognise where the banknotes came from.

Mum!

Give Nicky some tea. I've got to get in touch with Jimmy.

Ain't no use you trying to ring him.

Why?

On the wireless, half an hour ago. They've arrested Jimmy.

< Suspected of helping one of the Great Train Robbers.

I hope you're ready, madam. Taxi'll be here in two minutes.

Oh, I'm so nervous, Mum.

They give you barley sugar.

Who do?

On the plane. For your nerves.

-When you fly for the first time. I've read about it.

-Oh.

Why are you going like this, June?

What else can I do?

They might be watching the airport. Who knows what they'll do...

I've got to be with Buster, Mum.

He's only getting a new passport, June. Won't change his character.

I know.

What are you going to do in Mexico? You don't speak Mexican.

Where's Nicky going to go to school?

You've never been out of this country before.

I know. I've thought of nothing else since Buster left.

< So why are you going?

You said you didn't believe that rubbish he said about the dream he always had.

I'm married, Mum. And I love him.

# Going loco down in Acapulco

# If you stay too long

# Yes, you'll be going loco down in Acapulco

# The magic down there is so strong... #

'They're not gonna know what's hit them!'

Buster will be all right, but I don't know about June.

A bit too far from the Elephant and Castle for 'er.

No bingo, no mum. What will she do?

# ..Get out while you can

# Cos you'll be going loco down in Acapulco

# If you stay too long

# Yes, you'll be going loco down in Acapulco

# The magic down there is so strong

# You can hear voices pleading through those warm Latin nights

# Memories of lost and found leaving broken hearts

# All over town

# Cos you'll be going loco down in Acapulco

# If you stay too long

# Yes, you'll be going loco down in Acapulco

# The magic down there is so strong... #

That's them. It's gotta be.

You're right.

Cor blimey!

This is better than a wet Wednesday in Billingsgate Market, ain't it?

I ain't never seen nothing as beautiful!

Where are they?

Yeah, it is.

Hey, Brucey!

How are you, eh? It's good to see you!

Hello. Franny.

How are you doing, darlin'?

Welcome to Acapulco.

Come on. Let's go.

# ..Yes, you'll be going loco down in Acapulco

# The magic down there is so strong

# Feel the pressure, your back against the wall

# You're just about to fall

# If you're afraid to love, afraid to take a chance

# You'd better hide your feelings, get out while you can

# Cos you'll be going loco down in Acapulco

# If you stay too long

# Yes, you'll be going loco down in Acapulco

# The magic down there is so strong

# You can hear voices pleading through those warm Latin nights

# Memories of lost and found, leaving broken hearts

# All over town

# Cos you'll be going loco down in Acapulco

# If you stay too long

# Yes, you'll be going loco down in Acapulco

# The magic down there is so strong. #

You can't get out now, Dad! I've got lots and lots of sand on you.

I've buried you!

You reckon I can't get out, eh?

Yeah!

Not too rough!

Thanks a lot!

Hmm! Bruce!

It's too hot for all that.

Fancy a bit of suntan lotion, Buster?

Nah, I don't want none of that poofy stuff.

Besides you don't get much the first day.

How about you, June?

Me and Buster, we've got good skin.

You won't keep it if you don't oil it. It's not Clacton, you know.

Too bleeding right! You don't get flies like this in Clacton!

If it was Clacton we could get TCP from the chemist.

But it's not Clacton, is it?

Paradise in the sun - that's what this is.

SPEAKS IN SPANISH

How much is it?

It is two dollars.

OK. Give me one dollar fifty.

How much you want to spend?

I don't really want it. No, it's all right. No thanks.

What do you think of it so far, June?

Fine.

It's not quite what I thought it would be.

How did you think it was gonna be?

You know those hotels on the front in Brighton -

The Metropole and The Grand?

Well, a bit like that really.

What? In Acapulco?

That's better.

All right, my love?

Mind if I loosen my tie?

Oi! What's all this? We didn't order any of this clobber!

You've got to watch these wankers!

They bring you the cocktails free. It's all part of the meal.

Why didn't they say so, then?

Cheers!

Ow! Ow! They've put salt in the bastard!

They're supposed to put salt in the bastard.

The idea is you sip it slowly over the salt rim.

< The Pauillac '53, Miguel.

From the Mouton-Rothschild Chateau. A lovely bouquet!

You all right now, Buster?

Yeah, course I am - yeah. >

Bleeding waiters - make me puke! >

Good job they don't speak no English, eh?

Would the senor care for some McEwan's Export?

< It isn't chilled, but the cellar temperature is quite cool.

< Very good, Miguel.

What are we going to have to eat, Buster?

I dunno - you choose something. >

< The tortillas are fab.

They may be a bit spicy for you, but me and Bruce think they're great.

< We certainly do.

I can really recommend the chilli con carne,

but it might be a bit spicy for you.

Ain't there no meat on the menu?

It is meat. It's just sort of spiced up a bit.

I just want some steak and chips.

You don't have steak and chips in Acapulco, June.

Yeah, well, I like steak and chips. It's all I want.

It's not often we've been able to afford it. >

I've got some steak in the fridge.

If you want to share it you can come with me.

June... June!

June darlin'!

Blimey! Are you sure these are all your brothers and sisters, Maria?

Si, senor. Except for Pedro... and Teresa.

All right. All right.

June, stop it! You're tickling!

Not till you tell me.

Stop it!

Tell me then.

Tell you what?

Where we're going.

When?

This afternoon.

I'm going to see Bruce.

I thought we was going out together. You said we was.

That's why I let Maria bring all them kids round here.

When did I say that?

Yesterday.

I don't remember.

Look, go buy yourself something.

I don't want any money. I've got plenty of money.

Right. Let's hope it stays that way.

What do you mean? Has that ten grand come from Switzerland yet?

No, it got lost.

Lost?!

Yes, lost. We got stuffed, all right?

But who'd do that?

I dunno, June - someone somewhere.

It'll be all right. Trust me. I'll work it out.

Ten thousand pounds - you lost ten thousand pounds?!

Don't worry about the money. >

Just keep enjoying yourself, all right?

Don't wait up, me and Bruce have got business.

Me and June are going through £250 a week out here.

Have you tried economising? Christ! Look at that pair there!

You sound just like June's mother.

Really? I didn't know she was fond of big tits!

Go on, look at the one in yellow. Jesus Christ!

­ This is as good as St Tropez here.

­ God! They're enormous!

It must be all that fruit they eat.

Sex. I love it. I just love it!

You don't find tits like that at Margate, my son!

You're not listening, Bruce.

How is it that a pair of knockers 25 yards away

are a lot more interesting than Franny's...

that are lying on the bed at home and much more available?

It's one of the wonders of the world, that is.

Bruce...!

Cox's Pippins.

Tan-ger-ines!

Why doesn't Maria do the shopping?

I like it. I was good at it at home.

You're crackers, June. I'm getting back in the taxi.

And for God's sake hurry up! I want my margarita!

HE SPEAKS SPANISH

# Rolling, rolling, rolling... #

Bloody hell! Bruce!

Charlton Athletic won at Manchester City. Eddie Firmani scored twice!

Bleeding fantastic!

THEY SING 'RAWHIDE' THEME SONG

SINGING DRUNKENLY

Good Lord, you're home!

That's it - yeah.

What are you gonna tell June?

Don't worry about my Juney. I can handle her all right.

DOORBELL

Hello, Juney. Me and Bruce have been having business meetings.

That's right - yes.

Course you wouldn't understand it. It's too hard for women, innit?

That's right, yes.

It's all right, June. He's just overworked.

It don't taste the same without brandy sauce.

Couldn't get it. We tried.

What's the point of Christmas without pudding and brandy sauce?

Proper turkey, like you get in MacFisheries.

The Queen, eh?

ALL: Merry Christmas!

Only one thing wrong with Her Majesty, though.

Her bleeding prisons!

June, where could you find better to spend Christmas than this?

The sun, the sea, blue sky...!

I'll tell you, Bruce - London.

The snow and ice and fog

and the boozer.

And decent snout. No beggars on the streets and bleeding flies!

People who speak the Queen's English

RETCHING >

Nicky...!

She's really hot.

Bloody hell! She's burning up!

We want to see the head honcho.

I've got a sick child here.

Are you listening?

Buster, don't. He's busy.

Leave off, June.

Look, stupido, this little girl is ill!

Senor, all these people are also ill. You must wait.

How can we wait?

She could be dead before you get to her!

NICKY COUGHS

Listen to her, just listen to her!

You are not in England now. You must wait your turn!

Buster! For God's sake!

Give me Nicky and get out of here!

Don't be stupid, June.

It's bad enough being ill in this hole without you upsetting the doctor as well!

I might have known it was my bleeding fault!

You were the one that was always on about having a house.

Not here, Buster.

Can't you see? It ain't worth a tin of beans here.

What the hell am I supposed to do about it?

Go back to the villa, Buster. There ain't nothing you can do here.

She's my daughter, ain't she? Well, I ain't leaving.

I done it all for you, you ungrateful cow!

Oi! Come here! Come here!

Have you seen my daughter?

SHE SPEAKS SPANISH

A little girl. We came in last night.

SHE SPEAKS SPANISH

Have you seen June? My wife.

SHE SPEAKS SPANISH

I don't speak bloody Spanish!

SHE SPEAKS SPANISH

Buenos dias, Senor.

Your little Nicky, she plays a very good game.

Tic tac toe they call it, no?

No. Noughts and crosses we call it.

Where did you take her to? Why didn't you wake me?

< She say mamma always do it.

< Do what?

In the Christmas cake.

They don't taste so good. >

She have food poisoning.

We pump her stomach. We get rich. Thirty pesos!

No! Go away!

I bet they got some smashing gear up there, girl.

Oh yeah.

Buy you something, eh?

I don't want anything, Buster.

Nicky! Come back here!

How many times have I told you about running off?

You can get lost so easy.

Do you want to try this on?

Buster, I don't want it! I didn't even want to come here!

I'll buy it anyway. You can take it back if you don't like it.

Oh yeah, Like Marks and Sparks(!)

-Nicky! Come back here!

-Don't be such a misery guts, June.

I'm sorry about what I said at the hospital.

Let's forget it. It's over.

It ain't over, Buster.

We don't belong here.

This ain't home. It never can be. I gotta go back.

I want Mum and I want London,

and I want the rain!

And I want Nicky to start talking bleeding English again!

But this is our dream!

No, Buster. It ain't our dream.

It's yours.

You never asked me. >

All I ever wanted was us. Together.

Like when we was in hiding.

But what about the house, and the money...?

Forget the money! Can't you see it's torn us apart?

June, please!

Get off! Look, I hate Mexico! And I hate you!

Senor, I give you good price...!

Piss off!

We'll miss the plane. Come on. >

I don't want to! >

Maria!

I want to stay in Mexico! I don't want to go to London!

Maria! I want Daddy!

Mum, don't say anything, please!

TV SPORTS COMMENTARY

Come on, England, come on!

How much more to go, Bruce?

I haven't got the time. Come on, you Kraut ref! Blow, you bastard!

Come on, England, come on!

Go on, use it! Use it!

Still two each?

No. It's 3-2, you silly sod!

Sssh!

COMMENTARY IN SPANISH

< That's a good ball, good ball!

Come on, Geoffrey. Hit it!

CHANTING: We are the champions!

Hey! We've just won the bloody World Championship!

# We are the champions!

# God save our Queen

# Send her victorious

# Happy and glorious

# Long to reign over us... #

You're a fool.

I'm a fool for not listening before.

If you get nicked you're going down for 30 just like the rest.

Nah. Them 30-year stretches is all over with, Bruce.

Maybe Jack Mitchell will do a deal.

There never were going to be any deals on this one, Buster.

And if you think you're going to get away with five or six years you're kidding yourself.

Look what you'll be missing.

I mean, if it's the money...

It ain't the money, Bruce.

All this don't mean nothing no more.

Not without her.

You're hopeless, aren't you?

Wouldn't you do the same thing for Franny?

I ain't going back to do no deals. I'm going back for June.

For God's sake why, Buster?

Cos she's my wife.

And I love her.

Don't forget about New Zealand, will you?

No, I'll mention it.

The climate's the same as England. And the food.

And June could bring her mum.

It's a great idea, Bruce.

Bye, Buster.

Give my love to June.

Yeah, I will.

I'll wait in the car.

I got nearly £400 left. Not bad change from £150,000, is it?

Buster, if it's cash you need...

It ain't the money, Bruce. I just want to go home.

Hey, make sure you don't get caught, all right?

Come on.

Get up, sunshine. We're home.

How about a small tip?

Piss off.

Say...five hundred quid?

Get stuffed. I'm skint, mate. Ain't nothing left.

I know you. You're Buster Edwards. >

You got bleeding millions!

Oh yeah, that's right. I forgot.

Hang on. I'll have a look.

Well done, Mandy. That's very good.

Oh, darlin', you've got a bit on the table.

Now beat it in hard.

Well done, Nicky. Do you want a little taste?

KNOCK ON DOOR

Shan't be a minute.

Hello, Mum. Just popped round for a cup of tea.

Where are they?

June's making the bed and Nicky's in the kitchen.

Daddy! Daddy!

Hello, Nicky. I've missed you!

Are you staying home now, Daddy?

Yes, poppet. Always.

See, Mandy, I told you I'd got a dad.

Nicky, why don't we get dressed and go down the shops?

Cos we're going to need some more icing sugar for that cake.

You coming too, Mandy? Come on, let's get cleaned up.

Let's go in the bathroom.

KNOCK ON DOOR

MIMICS MUM: June! I brought You a nice cup of tea, darlin'.

I've just made the bed.

You say the daftest things!

Hello.

'Scotland Yard.'

Is there still a reward out for Buster Edwards?

Nothing mattered no more. Not Mexico, not Bruce, not the money.

What about that dream?

You're my dream, you little sexpot.

Ain't never gonna be no-one else.

It's all right.

Me and Jack Mitchell, we go back. I'll do a deal.

In fact, I got word he's interested.

What do you think you'll get?

Five years maximum.

I'll be out on parole in about three. Them thirty-year stretches are finished with now.

Will you still be waiting?

Of course I will.

Then it don't matter, do it?

DOG BARKS

Shall I make a run for it?

Give yourself up, Buster. Don't matter no more.

Right. Well, I'll be off then.

Ain't you gonna put your trousers on?

I thought they might not recognise me like this.

Now remember that whatever happens, I love you.

And that's the only thing that matters.

DOGS BARK

# When I'm feeling blue

# All I have to do

# Is take a look at you

# Then I'm not so blue

# When you're close to me

# I can feel your heart beat

# I can feel your breathing in my ear

# Wouldn't you agree

# Baby, you and me

# Got a groovy kind of love?

# Any time you want to

# You can turn me on to

# Anything you want

# Any time at all

# When I kiss your lips

# Boy, I start to shiver

# Can't control the quivering inside

# Wouldn't you agree

# Baby, you and me

# Got a groovy kind of love?

# We got a groovy kind of love. #

Oi! Here I am, down here, down here!

Things were different when I came out.

No, this is just temporary.

Has been for the last 12 years.

Anyway, I've still got this dream.

Buster!

Don't start all that again.

No, dear.

Come on. Nicky's waiting for us.

Where are we going then?

We're going to meet Nicky. Honestly! Don't start again.

It's only a dream. I can dream, can't I?

Well, you know what dreaming does.

# There was no reason to believe she'd always be there

# But if you don't put faith in what you believe in

# It's getting you nowhere

# Cos it helps, you never give up don't look down, just look up

# Cos she's always there behind you just to remind you

# Two hearts living in just one mind

# You know we're two hearts living in just one mind. #