Catch Me if You Can

APPLAUSE Thank you very much, and welcome to To Tell The Truth.

Our first guest -

he's made a career out of being

the most outrageous impostor that we've ever come across on this show,

and you're going to see what I mean.

Number one - what is your name, please?

My name is Frank William Abagnale.

-Number two?

-MY name is Frank William Abagnale.

-Number three?

-MY name is Frank William Abagnale.

-ANNOUNCER:

-From 1964 to 1967,

I successfully impersonated an airline pilot for Pan Am Airways,

and I flew over two million miles for free.

During that time,

I was also the chief resident paediatrician at a Georgia hospital

and an assistant attorney-general for the state of Louisiana.

By the time I was caught,

I was considered the youngest and most daring conman in US history.

I had cashed almost 4 million in fraudulent cheques

in 26 foreign countries and all 50 states.

And I did it all before my 19th birthday.

My name is Frank William Abagnale.

APPLAUSE

So, for the first time, he's going to have to tell the truth

and we're going to start our questioning with Kitty.

Thank you. Number one, why, with all your talent -

and you're obviously a very bright fellow -

why didn't you go in for a legitimate profession?

It was really a question of dollars and cents.

When I was a young man, I needed the money,

and I thought this list of careers was the easiest way to get it.

I see.

Number two, I find this all very fascinating.

-Who was it that finally caught you?

-His name was Carl Hanratty.

-STRONG FRENCH ACCENT:

-Ratty?

-ALL IMITATE:

-Ratty?

-Hanratty!

-ALL:

-Ratty!

-Hanratty!

SLOWLY: I...am... Carl Hanratty.

OK? The FBI from the United States of America.

-ALL:

-Oui. Oui.

I have orders to see the American prisoner Abagnale.

ALL ARGUE IN FRENCH

You sit here.

You do not open the door.

You do not pass him anything through the hole.

HE SPEAKS FRENCH

COUGHING

Oh, great.

COUGHS VIOLENTLY

THUNDER RUMBLES, WATER DRIPS

COUGHING

You know, I got a little bit of a cold myself.

COUGHS AND RETCHES

Frank, I'm here to read the articles of extradition

according to the European Court for Human Rights.

Article 1. "Extradition shall be granted in respect of all offences

"punishable under laws of deprivation of liberty and a detention order

"for the maximum period of at least one year of a severe penalty."

Help me.

Frank, stop it.

Help me.

You don't think you actually can fool me, do you?

COUGHS VIOLENTLY

16 pages to go. Stay with me.

Article 2.

READS RAPIDLY: "If the request for extradition includes..."

CONTINUES READING RAPIDLY

Frank.

Frank?

Get me a doctor in here!

-I need a doctor!

-Yes.

Doctor, now!

Don't sweat it, Frank. We're going to get you right to a doctor.

MEN SPEAK IN FRENCH

Frank, if you can hear me, don't worry -

I'm going to take you home in the morning.

Home in the morning, Frank.

What are you doing?

Washing off the lice.

This man has to be on a plane for America. He has to see a doctor.

The doctor comes in tomorrow.

I have worked too long, too hard for you to take this away from me.

If he dies, I'm holding you responsible.

Monsieur!

ALL EXCLAIM IN FRENCH

Oh, Frank.

ALARM BLARES ALL CHEER

COUGHS VIOLENTLY

PRISONERS CHEER AND WHISTLE

OK, Carl.

Let's go home.

-MAN:

-The New Rochelle Rotary Club

has a history that goes back to 1919.

In all those years, we've only seen a handful of deserving gentlemen

inducted as lifetime members.

It's an honour that has seen

57 names enshrined on the wall of honour,

and tonight we make it 58.

So, please stand as I present my very good friend -

a man who keeps our pencils sharp... and our pens in ink.

Frank William Abagnale!

I stand here humbled by the presence of Mayor Robert Wagner.

And our club president, Jack Barnes.

APPLAUSE

Most of all, I'm honoured to see my loving wife, Paula...

..and my son, Frank Jr...

Frank...

..sitting in the front row. SCATTERED LAUGHTER

Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream.

The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned.

The second mouse wouldn't quit.

He struggled so hard that eventually he churned that cream into butter

and crawled out.

Gentlemen, as of this moment, I am that second mouse.

MUSIC: Embraceable You by Judy Garland

-PAULA:

-You're a better dancer than your father, Frankie.

-You hear that, Daddy?

-FRANK SR: Like fun!

The girls don't know what they're in for.

Show him the dance you were doing when we met.

Oh, who can remember?

The people in that little French village

were so happy to see Americans.

They decided to put on a show for us.

-So, they crammed...

-Yeah, we know the story, Daddy.

..into that tiny social hall,

and the first person to walk onstage is your mother,

and she starts to dance.

You know, it had been months since we'd even seen a woman.

Here's this blonde angel.

-Blonde bombshell.

-GIGGLES

And the men are literally holding their breath.

Holding their breath for you.

-You hear that?

-LAUGHS

And I turned to my buddies and I said...

"I will not leave France without her."

And I didn't.

You didn't.

I didn't.

Oh! Oh, shit, the rug.

-Oh, Mom.

-I can't believe I did that.

No, no, it's nothing, it's nothing.

-Oh, Frankie! Frankie, get a towel.

-Yeah.

Come on!

Dance with me, Paula.

SIGHS AND GIGGLES

Whenever I dance for you, I get in trouble.

Oh!

Frank, wake up! Come on, let's go!

Get up! Come on, come on!

Frank, wake up.

-SLEEPILY:

-Dad...

You don't have to go to school today. It's OK.

Why? Is it snowing?

Do you have a black suit?

Oh, I overslept again, huh?

We have a very important meeting in the city.

Here, eat that. Come on, come on!

FRANK SR: Ma'am, open up! Just open up, please!

-FRANK JR:

-Ma'am!

Oh, gosh!

-We don't open for half an hour.

-Open the door, please.

Just open the door. It's important.

I'm sorry - we don't open for half an hour.

-What's your name, ma'am?

-Darcy.

Darcy. That's a pretty name.

I'm in a bit of a fix. I need a suit for my kid. This is my son, Frank.

-Oh, hi.

-He needs a black suit.

-Black suit?

-There was a death in the family.

-My father - 85 years old, war hero.

-Yeah?

There's a funeral this afternoon, military funeral.

Planes flying overhead, 21-gun salute.

Jeez.

Frank needs to borrow a suit for a couple of hours.

I'm sorry. We don't loan suits and we're not open.

Darcy. Darcy, please, come back. SHE SIGHS

Darcy, is this yours?

I just found it in the parking lot.

Uh-huh.

It must have slipped right off your neck.

TYRES SCREECH

FRANK SR: Don't hit the kerb!

Now, get out, walk around the back and hold the door open for me.

All right. What's next?

OK, stop grinning.

When I get inside, you go back to the front seat and wait.

Even if a cop comes and writes you a ticket,

you don't move the car, understood?

Dad, what's all this for?

You know why the Yankees always win, Frank?

Cos they have Mickey Mantle?

No, it's cos the other teams

can't stop staring at those damn pinstripes.

Watch this.

The manager of Chase Manhattan Bank

is about to open the door for your father.

Mr Abagnale, we don't usually loan money

to people who have unresolved business with the IRS.

That's a misunderstanding. I hired the wrong guy to do my books.

A mistake - anybody could make it.

I just need you guys to help me weather the storm.

Sir, you're being investigated by the government for tax fraud.

My store is a landmark in New Rochelle.

I have customers all over New York.

Well, you're not a customer at Chase Manhattan. We don't know you.

I'm sure your bank in New Rochelle, they know you.

-They can help you out.

-My bank went out of business.

Banks like this one put them out of business.

Now, I know I made a mistake -

I admit that - but these people want blood.

They want my store. They've threatened to put me in jail.

This is America, right? I'm not a criminal.

I'm a Medal of Honor winner,

a lifetime member of the New Rochelle Rotary Club.

All I'm asking is for you to help me beat these guys.

It's not a question of winning and losing. It's a question of risk.

You're the largest bank in the world.

Where's the...?

Where's the risk?

Dad, how could you just let 'em take our car like that?

He didn't take anything. We took HIM.

He overpaid by 500.

Come on, Frank. Let's return the suit.

SHE SOBS

This place is good.

It's small, but, you know, it's going to be a lot less work,

a lot less work for you.

Hey, Dad.

Hi.

Where's your mother?

I don't know.

She said something about going to look for a job.

What's she going to be - a shoe salesman at a centipede farm?

What are you doing?

You want some pancakes?

For dinner, on my son's 16th birthday?

We're not going to eat pancakes!

Why are you looking at me like that? You thought I'd forgotten?

I didn't think you forgot.

I opened a chequing account in your name.

I put 25 in the account so you can buy whatever you want.

-Don't tell your mother.

-I won't.

Thanks, Dad.

Didn't the bank turn you down for a loan, though?

Yes, they all turned me down.

Then why are you opening a banking account?

Because one day you'll want something from these people - a house, a car.

They have all the money.

There's 50 cheques there, Frank, which means from this day on...

..you're in their little club.

I'm in their little club.

You got that, you got it all.

It's even got my name there, huh?

To the moon.

To the moon!

To the moon.

BELLS CHIME

See that? It's just a school. No different than Westburn.

Ma, you said you were going to quit.

Frankie, you don't have to wear the uniform here.

Why don't you take off your jacket?

I'm used to it.

-Excuse me.

-Oh, yes?

Do you know where room 17 French is?

Yeah, it's...

BOTH SNIGGER

BELL RINGS

You selling encyclopaedias?

Yeah, he looks like a substitute teacher.

GIRLS GIGGLE NOISILY Quiet down, people!

My name is Mr Abagnale.

That's A-big-nail -

not A-big-nah-lee, not A-big-naily,

but ABAGNALE.

Will somebody please tell me where you left off in your textbooks?

Excuse me, people - if I need to ask again,

I'm going to write up the entire class! Take your seats!

Chapter seven.

Will you please open your textbooks to chapter eight

and we'll get started?

-Excuse me - what's your name?

-Brad.

Brad, why don't you get up here in front of the class here

and read conversation number five.

READS BADLY IN FRENCH

ALL LAUGH

They sent for me. They said they needed a sub for Roberta.

I came all the way from Dixon.

Well, I always sub for Roberta.

Excuse me - why aren't you reading?

BRAD CONTINUES READING

I'll never come back to Bellamy Jefferson again.

You tell them not to call me!

What - do they think it's easy for a woman my age?

And all the money that it costs to travel!

I tell you, they don't give a damn!

Mr and Mrs Abagnale, this is not a question of your son's attendance.

I regret to inform you that for the past week,

Frank has been teaching Mrs Glasser's French class.

He what?

Your son has been pretending to be a substitute teacher -

lecturing the students, giving out homework.

Mrs Glasser has been ill and there was some confusion with the real sub.

Your son held a teacher-parent conference yesterday

and was planning a class field trip

to a French bread factory in Trenton.

Do you see the problem we have?

Mrs Davenport, I have a note to miss fifth and sixth period today.

-Doctor's appointment.

-One moment. I'll be right with you.

(Hey.)

-(You should fold it.)

-What?

That note. It's a fake, right? You should fold it.

It's a note from my mom. I have a doctor's appointment.

Yeah, but there's no crease in the paper.

When your mom hands you a note to miss school,

the first thing you do is you fold it and you put it in your pocket.

I mean, if it's real, where's the crease?

BELL RINGS

Oh, Frankie.

-Ma, I'm home!

-ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS

You remember that girl Joanna I was telling you about?

I asked her out today.

I think we're going to go to the junior prom.

-NEEDLE SCRATCHES RECORD

-Ma, is this my driver's licence?

That's all there is - two bedrooms.

Oh, Frankie.

You remember Dad's friend?

Jack Barnes. From the club.

-Hello.

-He came by looking for your father.

I was giving him a tour of the apartment.

It's very, er...er, spacious, Paula.

Dad's at the store.

So, Frank...

you're getting to look more like your old man every day.

Thanks for the sandwich, Paula.

-I'll see you later, huh?

-Wait.

Is this yours?

Oh.

Well, thanks, Frank. That's the president's pin.

I'd be in deep trouble if I lost that.

I'll see you all later, huh?

Are you hungry, Frankie?

I'll make you a sandwich.

Jack wanted to talk business with your father.

He thinks we should get a lawyer and sue the government.

It is not legal, what they're doing to us.

Why aren't you saying anything?

You're not going to tell him, are you?

No.

That's right. There's nothing to tell.

I'm going out for a few hours

to visit some old friends from the tennis club

and when I get home, we'll all have dinner together, right?

But you won't say anything, because it's...it's just silly, isn't it?

How could we sue anybody?

Oh...

do you need some money, Frankie?

A few dollars to buy some...record albums?

Here. Take 5.

Oh, 10.

You promised you were going to quit.

Ma, I'm home.

DOOR OPENS

Hey, hey!

Look, you - you stay away from her, you hear me?

I don't know who you are, but if you ever come back here again...

Frank! Frank! Frank, calm down, will you? I'm Dick Kesner.

Now, I want you to leave your things here,

follow me into the next room, OK? They're all waiting for you.

PAULA: You don't have to be scared.

I'm right here, Frank. I'll always be here.

But there are laws. Everything in this country has to be legal.

So what we need to do is make some decisions.

That's what Mr Kesner is here for.

Many times these decisions are left up to the courts,

but that can be very expensive, Frank,

-people fighting over their children.

-Nobody's fighting.

Look at me, Frank. Nobody's fighting.

SPEAKS FRENCH

SHE REPLIES IN FRENCH

Dad, what's going on?

Do you remember your grandma, Eve? She arrived this morning.

-Bonjour.

-Hello.

SPEAKS FRENCH

Allez, Maman.

Do you understand what we're saying to you, Frank?

Your father and I... are getting a divorce.

SPEAKS FRENCH

Nothing's going to change. We're still going to see each other.

Oh, stop it, please, Frank. Don't interrupt.

Frank, you don't have to read all of this.

Most of it's for your parents - boring adult business -

but this paragraph right here, this IS important,

because it states who you are going to live with...

after the divorce.

Whose custody you will be in.

And there's a blank space right here.

MUTTERS IN FRENCH

Now, I want you to go into the kitchen, sit at the table,

and put a name down.

You can take as long as you want,

but when you come back into this room,

I want to see a name on that line.

Frank, just write down a name.

This will all be over. It's going to be OK.

What name?

Your mother or your father.

Just put the name there - it's as simple as that.

And don't look so scared. It's not a test.

There's no wrong answer.

Hi.

One ticket to Grand Central, please.

That'll be 3.50, sir.

Is it OK if I write you a cheque?

Carl, when do I get to call my father?

You can call him when we get to New York.

We leave for the airport in seven hours.

Until then, just sit there. Be quiet.

You know, Carl, on the other side of the hotel, they got suites that face the park.

It's the best room the FBI can afford.

That's OK. I've stayed in worse.

Mr Mertrick. Mr Mertrick, please! You have to listen to me!

I don't want to hear your story. This is two cheques that bounced.

You know how much trouble I'm in.

No, but listen. I'll telling you, the bank, THEY made the mistake.

I'll write you another cheque right now.

What - do I look like I was born yesterday?

Look, it's midnight, Mr Mertrick. Where am I going to go?!

You're a goddamn kid. Go HOME.

I mean, I hope you understand.

My boss sent me to Brooklyn, then Queens.

Now he wants me in Long Island

to take a few clients out for a night on the town.

I'm sorry, but we're not allowed to cash cheques from other banks.

How would we know if they're any good?

What did you say your name was?

-Ashley.

-Ashley.

You know what I found on the sidewalk out there?

Must have slipped right off your neck.

Is there something I can help you with, son?

Well, you see, it's my grandmother's birthday next week

and I want to get her something extra special.

Please? I mean, it's my midterm next week and my books were stolen.

COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

Please, it's just 5. No-one would have to know.

I'm sorry, BUT we are not allowed to take cheques

from people we don't know.

ALL LAUGH

Pleasure to have you back, Captain Carlson.

What do you think, Angelo? The tomatoes are ripe this afternoon!

-What have we here?

-May I have your autograph?

-You betcha!

-Can I have your autograph, too?

-You want to be a pilot?

-Mm-hm.

All right, there you go. Work hard in school.

FRANK JR: Dear Dad, I have decided to become an airline pilot.

I have applied to all the big airlines

and I have several promising interviews lined up.

How's Mom? Have you called her lately?

Love, your son, Frank.

Hello.

I'm Frank Black from Monroe High School,

and I have an appointment with Mr Morgan.

You're the young man who's writing the article for the school paper.

Yes, ma'am, that's me.

I want to know everything about being a pilot.

What airports does Pan Am fly to?

What does a pilot make in a year, and who tells them where they're going to fly to?

Whoa. Let's take 'em one at a time.

All right - what does it mean when one pilot says to another pilot,

"What kind of equipment are you on?"

They want to know what kind of aircraft you're flying -

is it a DC8, 707, Constellation...

And what about those ID badges that I've seen pilots wear?

Every pilot has to have two things with him at all times -

one is his airline personnel badge,

looks just like this one here from Pan Am,

the other one is their FAA licence, and that looks just like this.

Oh!

Do you think I can make a copy of this to put into my article?

Well, Frank, you can have that one. It's three years expired.

Oh, thanks. What about your ID badge? Do you have one I could borrow?

No, I can't help you there.

Those are special order from Polaroid.

The only way to get one of those is to become a real live pilot

for Pan American Airways.

'Pan Am. May I help you?'

Yeah, hello. I'm calling about a uniform.

-'Hold for Purchasing.'

-Thank you.

'Purchasing.'

I'm a co-pilot based out of San Francisco,

I flew a flight into New York last night,

but the problem is I'm headed out to Paris in three hours.

How can we help you?

I sent my uniform to be cleaned through the hotel,

and I...I guess they must have lost it.

'They lost a uniform. Happens all the time.

'Go down to the Well Built Uniform Company at 9th and Broadway -

'they're our uniform supplier.

'I'll tell Mr Rosen you're coming.'

You look too young to be a pilot.

I'm a co-pilot.

Why so nervous?

How'd you feel if you lost your uniform first week on the job?

Relax.

Pan Am's got lots of uniforms. It's going to be 164.

Great. I'll write you a cheque.

Sorry. No cheques. No cash.

You'll have to fill in your employee ID number and then I'll bill Pan Am.

They'll take it out of your next pay cheque.

Even better.

FRANK JR: Dear Dad,

you always told me that an honest man has nothing to fear,

so I'm trying my best not to be afraid.

I'm sorry I ran away, but you don't have to worry.

I'm going to get it all back now, Daddy. I promise.

I'm going to get it all back.

-Are you a real live pilot?

-I sure am, little lady.

-And what's your name?

-Celine.

Celine, it's a pleasure to meet you.

It's a pleasure to meet you, too!

That's 50, 70, 80, 90, 100.

You have yourself a great time in Paris.

I always do.

Excuse me.

I'm John Marticker. I manage this branch.

I want to thank you for coming in and using our institution.

-Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, John. I'll be back again.

-Good.

Have you stayed with us before?

Uh, no. I've been primarily based on the west coast.

Is it all right if I write you a cheque for the room?

-No problem, sir.

-Great.

Uh, I was also wondering if I could write you a personal cheque?

For airline personnel, we cash personal cheques up to 100.

Payroll cheques, we cash up to 300.

Did you say 300 for a payroll cheque?

TYPEWRITER CLACKS

FRANK JR: Dear Dad,

I've decided to become a pilot for Pan American Airways,

the most trusted name in the skies.

They've accepted me into their training programme

and told me that if I work hard, I should earn my wings real soon.

Please get in touch with Joanna Carlton from the 10th grade.

Tell her I'm sorry that I could not take her to the junior prom.

Love, your son, Frank.

-Hello. How are you?

-Fine, thank you.

I have a payroll cheque here I'd like to cash.

-Certainly.

-Thank you.

Uh, excuse me - I'm sure you hear this all the time,

but you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.

I DO get that all the time.

How would you like it?

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

We won't have any cash until the banks open in an hour.

But I'm sure they can cash your cheque at the airport.

The airport? Who cashes cheques at the airport?

Well, the airlines, sir.

They've always taken care of their own.

-Hello.

-Hi. Are you deadheading?

-What?

-Are you my deadhead to Miami?

Yes, yes. SHE LAUGHS

Yeah, I'm a deadhead. Here you go.

You're a little late, but the jump seat is open.

You know, it's been a while since I've done this.

Which one's the jump seat again?

Have a nice flight.

Are you my deadhead?

Frank, Captain Oliver. John Larkin, the co-pilot.

-Hello.

-Fred Tully, flight engineer.

Frank Taylor, Pan Am. Thanks for giving me a lift, boys.

Go ahead and take a seat, Frank. We're about to push.

What kind of equipment you on - DC8?

707.

You turning around on the red-eye?

I'm jumping puddles for the next few months,

trying to earn my keep running leapfrogs for the weak and weary.

No shame in that. We all did it.

-Have a seat.

-Thank you.

Would you like a drink after take-off?

Milk?

-LARKIN:

-80 knots.

-OLIVER:

-Check.

V-1. Rotate.

V-2. Positive lift.

Gear up.

FRANK JR: Dear Dad, today was graduation.

I am now a co-pilot earning 1,400 a month plus benefits.

And the best part is, they tell me my family can fly for free.

So tell Mom to pack her bags and buy a new swimsuit,

because I'm taking us all to Hawaii for Christmas.

I love you, Dad.

Aloha. Frank.

-Hello, deadhead.

-Hello.

Enjoying your free ride?

Marci, did you drop this?

Must have slipped right off your neck.

No.

No!

No.

MARCI GASPS: Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes!

-Yes!

-CRASH

Why are you stopping?

I want to tell you something, Marci.

This is by far the best date I have ever been on.

Welcome to Miami Mutual Bank. How may I help you?

My name is Frank Taylor. I'm a co-pilot for Pan Am.

I'd like to cash this cheque here and then...

I'd like to take you out for a steak dinner.

And then we feed the cheques into the MICR machine,

which uses special ink to encode the account numbers on the cheques.

And where are these numbers?

They're, um...right here.

-Right there.

-See?

They're called the routing numbers.

So, where do the cheques get routed to?

You know, I don't exactly know. Nobody ever asked me that before.

Next item up for bid is also from the Jersey Central Bank foreclosure.

This is a MICR encoder - a machine used to encode bank cheques.

Do I have an opening bid?

HANRATTY: Our unknown subject is a paperhanger who started working on the east coast.

In the last few weeks, this unsub has developed a new form of cheque fraud which I'm calling "the float".

What he's doing is, he's opening chequing accounts at various banks

and then changing the MICR ink routing numbers at the bottom of those cheques. Next slide, please.

Next slide, please.

The remote thing is broken, you might have to do it by hand.

-You've gotta...

-Try the...

Agent Molen, it should be the square button just there by the side.

That's a bad carousel you got here.

-Thank you, Agent Molen.

-You've got to move it manually.

This is a map of the 12 banks of the US Federal Reserve.

Slide.

MICR scanners at every bank read these numbers

at the bottom of a cheque. Slide.

And then ship that cheque off to its corresponding branch.

Carl, for those of us who are unfamiliar with bank fraud,

do you mind telling us what the hell you're talking about?

The east coast branches are numbered 01 to 06,

the central branches are 07, 08, so on, so forth.

Do you mean those numbers on the bottom of a cheque mean something?

All of this was in the report I filed two days ago.

If you change a 02 to a 12,

that means that cheque which was cashed in New York

does not go to the New York federal branch,

but it is re-routed all the way to the San Francisco federal branch.

The bank doesn't even know the cheque has bounced for two weeks,

which means our unsub can stay in one place,

paper the same city over and over again while these cheques circle the country.

You know, you want to talk to my wife -

she's the one that balances the chequebook at our house.

LAUGHTER

Next slide.

Daddy!

My son the bird man. That's some uniform, Frank.

What do you think?

-Nice.

-Sit down.

Dad... Daddy, have you gotten the postcards?

Of course. This fork is ice-cold.

No, no. Dad, that's a chilled salad fork.

(It's a fancy restaurant, you know?)

Here...I got you something.

What's that?

Open it.

You know what those are, right?

Those are the keys to a 1965 Cadillac DeVille convertible - brand-new, Dad.

Red, with white interior,

split seats, air-conditioning, the works.

-You're giving me a Cadillac?

-I'm giving you a Cadillac.

Dad, she's parked downstairs.

When we're done eating lunch, why not drive on over to Mom's house,

pick her up, take a little joy-ride?

Do you know what would happen if the IRS found out

I was driving around in a new coupe?

I took the train here, Frank. I'm taking the train home.

All right.

I have plenty of money. You know, if you ever, ever need anything...

You worried...about me?

No, I'm not... I'm not worried.

You think I can't buy my own car?

Two mice fell in a bucket of cream, Frank - which one am I?

You're that second mouse.

I went by the store today...

I had to close the store for a while.

It's all about timing, Frank.

The goddamn government knows that - they hit you when you're down.

I wasn't going to let them take it from me,

so I just shut the doors myself, called their bluff.

Sooner or later, they'll forget about me.

I understand. I...

Have you told Ma?

She's so stubborn. Your mother...

Don't worry. I'm not going to let her go without a fight.

I've been fighting for us s...

Dad?

..since the day we met.

Daddy, out of all those men,

you were the one that took her home, remember that?

200 men sitting in that tiny social hall watching her dance.

What was the name of that town?

Montrichard, Dad.

I didn't speak a word of French and six weeks later, she was my...

She's your wife.

My son bought me a Cadillac today. I think that calls for a toast.

To the best damn pilot in the sky.

It's not what you think. I'm just a co-pilot.

You see these people staring at you?

These are the most powerful people in New York City

and they keep peeking over their shoulders wondering where you're going tonight.

Where are you going, Frank?

Dad, nobody's staring at me.

Someplace exotic?

Just tell me where you're going.

Los An... Hollywood.

Hollywood?

(The rest of us really are suckers.)

So, I got on this red dress and these high heels, right,

and I got a bra, like, out here, OK?

I'm chasing these two Puerto Rican guys through the park.

They got a suitcase filled with bank robbery loot.

OK, I'm screaming out, "FBI! Freeze!" And I'm reaching for my gun,

but I can't find it in the bra, it's so damn big.

I thought I was going to shoot my tits off.

You know, that's a funny story - people always laugh at that story.

Let me ask you a question, Mr Amdursky -

if you were having so much fun undercover,

why did you transfer to bank fraud?

I didn't transfer, I was censured and reassigned.

It's like being punished - I was punished. I screwed up in the field.

And you, Mr Fox? Were you punished for screwing up in the field?

Oh, no, no, I've never worked in the field before.

I audited background investigations

of Department of Justice clerical applicants.

Well, that's just great.

I ask for a team and they drag the bottom of the Pacific.

Mind if I ask you a question, Agent Hanratty?

How come you're so serious all the time?

Does it bother you, Mr Amdursky?

Yeah. Yeah, it does bother me.

-Does it bother you, Mr Fox?

-A little, I guess.

Well, would you like to hear me tell a joke?

Yeah. Yeah, we'd love to hear a joke from you.

-Knock, knock.

-Who's there?

-Go flog yourselves.

-TURNS RADIO UP

MUSIC: Girl From Ipanema

MAN: He cashed three cheques, they all cleared.

I was going to deposit this one today.

I don't want any trouble.

No trouble.

No trouble at all. We'll take this cheque and be on our way. Thank you.

Good. Because I don't want my customers harassed.

What are you saying? Is he still here?

201.

Thank you.

-A corner here.

-Oh, thanks, son.

-Some steps.

-Steps.

-Hey, Mr Murphy, how are ya?

-Is that Frank?

-Yeah, it's Frank.

-Hey, Frank. How are you?

-How's the knee?

-Come on, I'll race you right now.

-HE LAUGHS Take care.

-OK, Frank.

Come on, Carl, this guy's a pen-and-ink man -

a goddamn paperhanger.

-He doesn't carry a gun.

-Why can't we go with you?

Just keep your eyes open, do your job and I'll buy you both a Good Humor Bar.

-SHE GASPS

-It's all right, ma'am - FBI.

201. 201. 201.

201. 201. 201. 201...

FBI!

TOILET FLUSHES

FBI!

Come out of the bathroom!

Step out of the bathroom!

Hands on your head.

You know, that's the new IBM Selectric.

You can change the print type in five seconds.

Shut up! Put your hands on your head! Put your hands...

You know, he's got over 200 cheques here.

Hands on your head!

He even has little payroll envelopes addressed to himself from...

-Put it down! DROP IT!

-Relax!

You're late, all right?

My name's Barry Allen, United States Secret Service.

Your boy just tried to jump out the window. My partner has him in custody.

I don't know what you're talking about.

What - you think the FBI are the only ones on this guy?

I mean, come on...come on, he's dabbling in government cheques here.

I've been following a paper trail on this guy for months now.

Hey, do you mind taking that gun out of my face?

Please, really, I mean, it makes me nervous.

Let me see some credentials.

Yeah, sure.

Take my whole wallet.

You want my gun, too? Come over here, take my gun.

Hey. Hey, look. Just do me a favour, take a look outside.

Look, look out the window.

My partner's walking him to the car as we speak. Look.

The old guy almost pissed in his pants when I came through the door.

He jumped right through the window onto the hood of my car.

-Hey, Murph!

-Yeah?

Call the LAPD again. I don't want people walking through my crime scene.

CLEARS THROAT

I didn't expect the secret service on this.

Don't worry about it. Well, what's your name?

Hanratty. Carl Hanratty.

-Mind if I see some identification?

-Sure.

You know, you never can be too careful these days.

Well, tough luck, Carl.

Five minutes earlier, you would have landed yourself a pretty good collar.

Is that right? Ten seconds later and you would have been shot.

Mind if I come downstairs with you? I've got to take a look at this guy.

Sure thing - just do me a favour and sit tight for a second

while I get this evidence downstairs.

You know, I don't want some maid walking through here

-and making the bed. LAPD should be here any sec.

-Wait.

Your wallet.

You hang on to it for a minute. I trust ya.

SIGHS

SIGHS HEAVILY

Oh. Oh.

Yeah.

Secret service.

Hey!

Oh, goddammit!

It was stupid. I made a stupid mistake.

Forget about it. There are hundreds of unknown subjects out there.

I can get this guy, Sean.

The worst thing a paperhanger can do is show his face.

I read the report - 6ft tall, brown hair, 27 to 30 years of age, 160lb.

This could be almost anybody.

I heard his voice, Sean. I saw his face.

There's nothing for him to hide behind any more.

Just be careful.

You've got 12 years in.

Nobody bothers you - you practically wrote the book on bank fraud.

That's the kind of thing that can make you section chief some day.

Just don't put yourself in this type of position.

What type of position?

The position of being humiliated.

Sean, would you like to hear me tell a joke?

Yeah, sure.

Knock, knock.

FRANK JR: So, my next question is, when a pilot retires,

Pan Am sends him a cheque every single month?

Ah, yeah, pension programme sends a cheque and benefits.

How much is that cheque for?

Er, kid, I'm really not in the mood for this right now.

-This skyway man's driving me crazy.

-Who's the skyway man?

Some nut that's flying around the country posing as a Pan Am pilot.

There's a column about him in the paper today.

I keep telling them, this is not my problem.

This guy doesn't even fly Pan Am. Flies everybody else.

Flies United, TWA, Continental, Eastern.

The skyway man.

Newspaper loves this clown.

They call him the James Bond of the sky.

Did you say...

Bond, James Bond.

-Tell me, Jill, why does he do it?

-He likes to win.

-Come on, come on!

-We'll be landing in 20 minutes.

Do you want to play it easy, or the hard way?

And this isn't a tranquilliser.

Now, Pussy, you know a lot more about planes than guns.

IMITATES SEAN CONNERY: Hello, Pussy.

Now, you're sure this is the suit, right?

Positive. This is the exact suit he wore in the movie.

OK, I'll take three.

Certainly, Mr Fleming.

Now all you need is one of those foreign sports cars that he drives.

MUSIC: The Look Of Love by Dusty Springfield

-Hello.

-Hi.

Haven't I seen you before?

Maybe.

A couple of years ago, I was on the cover of "17".

Yeah, you're that model, right - Cheryl?

Mm-hm.

Guys used to put your picture on their lockers.

Isn't that your silver car I saw parked out front?

Yeah...one of 'em.

So, do you think I could get an autograph?

Do you have a pen in your room?

Shh.

Men like you can buy anything you want.

He buys a deck of cards at the hotel gift shop.

Do you want to see a card trick?

How much did these cards cost?

Oh, 55 cents, I think.

And if they sold me downstairs at the hotel gift shop...

..how much would you pay?

I'm sor... I'm sorry, how much would I pay for what?

The entire night.

How much would you pay me for the entire night?

Cheryl, I...I really don't know.

Don't be scared.

Make me an offer.

300?

Go fish.

Er...500?

Go fish.

600?

Go fish.

1,000.

OK.

1,000.

OK. I'll be right back.

Wait a second, where are you going?

I'm going downstairs to cash a cheque.

Do you think this hotel is going to cash a 1,000 cheque at 3am?

It's a New York Savings and Loan cheque.

It's like gold - they'll cash it.

Don't you think they might get a little suspicious?

Here, let me see that.

It's a cashier's cheque. Endorse it over to me.

No, I couldn't do that.

You see, this cheque is for 1,400. We agreed upon 1,000.

Why don't I give you back 400 and you give me that cheque?

Even better.

Does this belong to anybody?

PHONE RINGS

This is Hanratty. Merry Christmas.

-FRANK JR:

-Hello, Carl.

Hello.

Barry Allen, secret service.

I've been trying to track you down now for the last couple of hours.

What do you want?

I wanted to apologise for what happened out in Los Angeles.

'Uh-uh, uh-uh. No. No, you don't apologise to me.'

Do you always work on Christmas Eve, Carl?

I volunteered so the men with families could go home early.

You looked like you were wearing a wedding ring out in Los Angeles.

I thought maybe you had a family.

No, no family.

You want to talk to me... let's talk face to face.

All right. I'm at my suite at the Stuyvesant Arms, room 3113.

In the morning, I leave for Las Vegas for the weekend.

You think you're going to get me again?

You're not going to Vegas, you're not in the Stuyvesant Arms.

You'd love for me to send out 20 agents Christmas Eve.

We barge into your hotel, knock down the door

so you can make fools out of us all.

I'm really sorry if I made a fool out of you, I really am.

-Uh-uh. No. No, no.

-Listen, I really am.

You do not feel sorry for me.

The truth is, I knew it was you. Maybe I didn't get the cuffs on you, but I knew.

Well, people only know what you tell them, Carl.

Well, then, tell me this, Barry Allen, secret service,

how did you know I wouldn't look in your wallet?

The same reason the Yankees always win -

nobody can keep their eyes off the pinstripes.

The Yankees win because they have Mickey Mantle.

No-one ever bets on the uniform.

You sure about that, Carl?

I'll tell you what I am sure of -

you're going to get caught, one way or another.

It's a mathematical fact - it's like Vegas, the house always wins.

Well, Carl, I'm sorry, but I have to go.

Oh, you didn't call just to apologise, did you?

What do you mean?

You have no-one else to call.

Whoa!

LAUGHS

SINGS ALONG TO RADIO

-You got that burger up?

-Yep.

More coffee, sir?

Are you a collector?

Of what?

The Captives of the Cosmic Ray, The Big Freeze,

Land of the Golden Giants - I've got them all.

-What are you talking about?

-Barry Allen.

The Flash.

Wait. Kid, kid, kid?

-You mean, like, the comic book?

-Yeah, the comic book.

When he's not the Flash, that's his name - Barry Allen.

Thank you.

Now, get this - he reads comic books.

Comic books. Barry Allen is the Flash.

-'Carl, slow down. I don't know what you're talking about.'

-He's a kid. Our unsub is a kid.

That's why we couldn't match his prints, why he doesn't have a record.

I want you to contact NYPD for every all-points juvenile runaways

in New York City, and don't forget the airports.

-He's been kiting cheques all over the country.

-'Well, why New York?'

The Yankees - he said something about the Yankees.

-HANRATTY:

-So, where are we on the list?

Number 53...

Abagnale.

Good morning, ma'am. We're the FBI agents who called.

Oh, yes, I've been waiting.

I hope you're all hungry. I put out the Sara Lee.

My husband, Jack, is a lawyer.

What about your first husband, Mrs Abagnale?

CORRECTS PRONUNCIATION: Abagnale.

But I prefer to be called Barnes.

Frank William Abagnale.

It says here he was in the service. Did you two meet during the war?

Yeah, I lived in a very small village in France - Montrichard -

the kind of place where they've never heard of Sara Lee.

-Help yourselves.

-Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee.

You filled out a missing persons report for a runaway juvenile

by the name of Frank Abagnale Jr.

Is Frankie OK?

Are you aware of the fact that he wrote some cheques

on a closed account at Chase Manhattan Bank?

Oh, yes. The police think he's some type of criminal.

What he did was a felony, Mrs Barnes.

Oh, it was 1,000.

Half the kids his age are on dope,

throwing rocks at police,

and they scared me to death because my son made a little mistake.

A 17-year-old boy has to eat, has to have a place to sleep.

We understand, ma'am.

Would you happen to have a picture of your son?

Oh, yes. I have his old yearbook.

OK.

OK, OK. We need to send out an all-office teletype.

Our unsub's name is Frank Abagnale Jr, aged 17.

Is Frankie OK? Is he in trouble?

Ma'am, I'm sorry to have to tell you, your son is forging cheques.

Forging cheques? Wait, I'm sure we can take care of that.

I'm working part-time at the church now.

Just tells me how much he owes and I'll pay you back.

So far, it's about 1.3 million.

ALARM DINGS

-Hi, Melanie. How are you?

-Hi.

When you're in the house, please just use an ashtray.

-Frank, this fondue is so good!

-Wait, here, take this.

Oh, good! I love Moet!

MUSIC DISTORTS

James! James! Please, just stay away from the hi-fi system, all right?

It's reel-to-reel. You can't wind it like that.

Christ, Terry!

This is Italian knit! Watch where you're going!

It's just a shirt, man.

Frank, come quick!

Lance just fell into the conversation pit.

Excuse me, do you know where Lance Applebaum is?

Thank you.

-MAN:

-Do you understand how dangerous this is? Do you?

Don't cry, just nod your head

and tell me you won't do it again.

Now dry up and get back to work.

Hey, hey.

Are you OK?

He told me to pick up the blood, so I did,

but he never told me to label it.

Hey, it's OK. Stop crying.

What's your name?

-Brenda.

-Brenda.

Brenda, I wouldn't worry about it.

You know, these doctors, you know, they don't know everything.

It's my first week. And I think they're going to fire me.

No, no, nobody's going to fire you, Brenda.

I bet you're good at your job.

No, I'm not.

Yeah, I bet if I asked you to check on the status

of my friend Lance Applebaum that you could do that for me in a second.

Mr Applebaum fractured his ankle.

Dr Ashland is treating him in exam room seven.

You see that? No problem.

This is the emergency chart.

See that blue star there? That means that the patient has been diagnosed.

And then after he's been treated, we put a red circle here.

See?

How do you like those braces?

I guess they're all right.

I got mine off last year. Boy, I hated them. They were bottoms.

You know, I've still got to wear my mouthguard.

You have really nice teeth.

Well, thank you. You have a pretty smile.

No, I mean it - I really think those braces look good on you.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

-Brenda?

-Yeah?

Do you know if they're hiring here at the hospital?

I'm not sure. What do you want to do?

I'm a doctor.

FRANK JR: Dear Dad, I've decided to get off the road for a while.

I've taken a night job at a hospital and met some really nice people.

It feels good to have my feet on the ground,

to wake up in the same bed every night.

Who knows? Maybe I'll even find someone to settle down WITH.

Harvard Medical School, top of your class.

Southern California Children's Hospital.

Well, that's a pretty impressive resume, Dr Conners.

But, unfortunately,

the only thing I need is an emergency room supervisor

for my midnight to 8am shift -

someone to baby-sit six interns and 20 nurses.

But, um...

Hell, I doubt that you'd be interested in that.

Well, in the past, they've always let me choose my own nurses.

FRANK JR: Dr Connelly.

-Dr Harris.

-Present.

Dr Ashland.

Dr Conners...are you going to take roll every night?

Yes, I will, Dr Ashland,

and if you're going to be late, I suggest you bring a note.

Miss Vassman.

Miss Mase.

-Miss Strong.

-Here.

Nurse Brown.

Nurse Sanford.

-TV:

-30mg of codeine every four hours.

Run the plasma at 60 drops a minute

until we calculate the food requirements.

What do you estimate the degree and extent of the burns, Kildare?

Second and third degree burns over about 20% of the body surface.

-Do you concur?

-I concur. Let's get him up to Paediatrics.

-Hello, Brenda.

-Hi, Dr Conners.

-You need to sign these.

-Thank you.

Do you notice anything different about me?

-You got your braces off.

-Yeah!

-Come here, let me see.

-I've been trying to show you all night.

Wow. Good job.

So, did it hurt when they took them off? Mine felt so weird after.

Mmm, I keep rubbing my tongue over them. I can't stop.

They're so slippery.

-It feels good, though, doesn't it?

-Yeah, it feels incredible.

Oh, my.

I'm sorry.

-WOMAN OVER PA:

-Dr Conners to the ER.

Dr Conners to the ER.

-Shouldn't you go?

-No, no, no.

They have a staff doctor in the emergency ward. They'll be fine.

Oh, what if he's in surgery?

Do you really think I have to go?

Oh, in here, Dr Conners.

BOY CRIES OUT

CRIES

Gentlemen, what seems to be the problem?

Bicycle accident. Fractured tibia about five inches below the patella.

Hmm.

-Dr Harris?

-Yes.

-Do you concur?

-Concur with what, sir?

Well, with what Dr Ashland just said, do you concur?

Er...well, it's a bicycle accident. The boy told us.

-So you concur?

-Concur?

I think we should take an X-ray,

then stitch him up and put him in a walking cast.

Very good, Dr Ashland, very good.

Well, you don't seem to have much need for me.

Carry on.

I blew it, didn't I?

Why didn't I concur?

VOMITS VIOLENTLY

Make yourself at home!

Frank Abagnale Sr.

You're not a cop.

Special Agent Hanratty, FBI.

You're not a cop. My landlord said you were not a cop.

Well, if you're going to arrest me,

I'd like to put on a different suit, if that's OK with you.

I'm not here to arrest you. I'm looking for your son.

He's in trouble. Do you know where he is?

If I tell you where he is, will you promise not to tell his mother?

Sure.

Frank made up a fake ID and enlisted in the marine corps.

He's over in Vietnam right now.

That kid is halfway round the world,

crawling through the damned jungle fighting the communists.

So...

please don't come to my home

and call my boy a criminal, because that kid...

I never said he was a criminal, Mr Abagnale.

I said he was in trouble.

If you'd like to give me a call and talk, here's my number.

You're not a father, are you?

Pardon me?

If you were a father, you'd know I would never give up my son.

I would never give up my son.

Yes, sir, I understand.

John... John, now get this.

Riverbend Apartments, 415 Landover, Atlanta, Georgia.

Atlanta, Georgia. Yeah, I'm on my way to the airport.

I'll meet the team in four hours. Bye-bye.

-Come on, it's OK.

-WOMAN SOBS

You don't have to cry.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry, Frank. I just...

Brenda, listen to me... I don't care if you're a virgin, all right?

Really, I can wait.

I'm not a virgin.

I had an abortion two years ago.

My parents had a friend.

He was...this man my father plays golf with.

And then when I got better, they kicked me out of the house.

I had an abortion and I wasn't their daughter any more.

-Hey.

-I'm so sorry.

Please don't be mad at me. Please.

-Please don't be mad at me.

-No, no, no.

-Please don't be mad at me.

-Shh.

Now...what if I spoke to your parents, right?

Maybe I can straighten things out, huh?

I ask them all the time, but they said I still can't come home.

My dad is...is a lawyer.

Brenda...

..what if you were engaged to a doctor, would that change anything?

What?

What if I went to your parents...

..and I spoke to your father...

..and I asked permission to marry you?

-It's empty.

-Nobody here.

Dr Conners, are you Lutheran?

Yes, I am a Lutheran, but please call me Frank.

Frank, would you like to say grace?

Unless you're not comfortable.

Absolutely.

Two little mice fell into a bucket of cream.

The first mouse quickly gave up and drowned,

but the second mouse, he struggled so hard

that he eventually churned that cream into butter

and he walked out.

Amen.

-Amen.

-Amen.

Oh, that was beautiful.

The mouse, he churned that cream into butter?

That's right.

Thank you.

Frank, have you decided which hospital you want to work at here in New Orleans?

Well, to be quite honest, I'm... thinking about getting back into law.

Oh, my! Are you a doctor or a lawyer?

Well, before I went to medical school, I passed the bar in California.

I practised law for one year,

then I decided, why not try my hand at paediatrics?

-Well, you're just full of surprises.

-Yeah.

Oh, my, a doctor AND a lawyer. I'd say that Brenda hit the jackpot.

Where did you go to law school?

Berkeley. ALL GASP

Berkeley, Berkeley. Oh, my gosh. Isn't that where you went, Daddy?

Oh, maybe Frank could come work for you, Roger.

You're always saying how hard it is to find assistant prosecutors.

Could he, Daddy? Could he, please? Could he come work with you, please?

Was that snake Hollingsworth still teaching there

when you went through Berkeley?

Hollingsworth, yes. Grumpy old Hollingsworth, right?

I tell you - meaner than ever.

And that dog of his?

Tell me, Frank, what was the name of his little dog?

I'm sorry, er...

the dog was dead.

Oh.

How unfortunate.

Yeah.

A doctor, a lawyer, a Lutheran.

So what are you, Frank?

Cos I think you're about to ask for my daughter's hand in marriage,

and I have a right to know.

Know what, sir?

The truth.

Tell me the truth, Frank.

What are you doing here?

What is a man like you doing with Brenda?

If you want my blessing, if you want my daughter...

I'd like to hear it from you now.

The truth is, sir, that...

The truth is that...

..I'm not a doctor, I'm not a lawyer...

..I'm not an airline pilot.

I'm... I'm nothing, really.

I'm just a kid who's in love with your daughter.

No.

You know what you are?

You're a romantic.

Men like us are nothing without the women we love.

I must confess, I'm guilty of the same foolish whimsy.

I proposed to Carol after five dates with two nickels in my pockets

and holes in my shoes, because I knew she was the one.

So go ahead, Frank.

Don't be afraid.

Ask the question you came here to ask me.

Sir...what would I have to do to take the bar here in New Orleans?

No, the other question.