Brooklyn Rules


Brooklyn Rules

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This programme contains some violent scenes and very strong language.

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(CHURCH BELLS RING)

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Now a reading from the letter of St Paul to the Philippians.

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Brothers and sisters,

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as long as in every way, whether in pretence or in truth,

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Christ is being proclaimed...

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'In catholic school,

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they taught us that Jesus died for our sins.'

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'With his blood,

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He made the ultimate sacrifice -

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giving his life.'

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'In Brooklyn,

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we learned of another sacrifice...'

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Heads.

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'Taking a life.'

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'I guess you can call this my confession.'

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'Except, I'm not asking for forgiveness.'

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'That's Bobby, one of my two best friends,

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the sweetest guy in the world, but a legendary cheapskate.'

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'This is Carmine. Great guy but incredibly vain,

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even as a kid.'

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'This, of course, is me.'

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'OK, I know what you're thinking.'

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'How could I steal from a church collection plate?'

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'Well, I knew stealing was supposed to be a sin,

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but I learned to live by a different set of rules.'

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# Please allow me to introduce myself

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# I'm a man of wealth and taste

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# I've been around For a long, long year

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# Stole many a man's soul and faith

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# And I was round when Jesus Christ

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# Had his moment of doubt and pain

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# Made damn sure that Pilate

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# Washed his hands And sealed his fate

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Piece of shit!

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# Pleased to meet you

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-# Hope you guess my name

-Get up!

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Get up! Do you hear me?

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# But what's puzzling you is the

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# Nature of my game

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God fucking help you, Donny, if I find out you lied to me!

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# I stuck around St Petersburg When I saw it was a time for a change

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Boo!

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# Killed the Tsar and his ministers Anastasia screamed in vain

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-What's your name?

-Carmine Mancuso.

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Your mother Italian?

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Yes, sir.

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# Pleased to meet you Hope you guess my name

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# Oh, yeah #

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I gotta go take a leak, alright?

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Don't get lost.

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Man, these uniforms suck. They should let us wear bell-bottoms.

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What, like Keith Partridge?

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Nah, that guy's a queer. Him and that redheaded kid.

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Oh, man!

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Guys! Come here!

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(SHOUTS)

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Oh, fuck.

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Whoa.

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-Whoa. Let me see.

-No way, man. It's mine!

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(WHIMPERING)

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What are you doing?

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Hey, puppy! Aw, look. You OK?

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-He's cute.

-Ooh, sharp teeth!

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-What should we do with him?

-Nothing. I'm keeping him.

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Well, you're a spunky one, aren't ya?

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This is creepy, guys. Let's get outta here.

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'Bobby did end up keeping the dog. And Carmine kept the lighter.'

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'As for me, you can bet your ass I kept that gun.'

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# "Walk Of Life" - Dire Straits

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'By 1985, we were all grown up and still close as ever.'

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'Carmine had fallen in love.'

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'With himself.'

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'I mean, if you told the guy to go fuck himself,

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he'd actually consider it.'

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'Bobby was still a sweetheart,

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living at home, and cheap as ever,

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throwing quarters around like they were manhole covers.'

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Come on, Sparky.

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'As for me,

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despite the fact that I was basically a neighbourhood fuck-up,

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I had somehow managed to scam my way into Columbia.'

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'Me, a jerk-off from Brooklyn, in the Ivy League.'

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'And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I was stupid.'

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'I loved to read, and was a pretty good writer, too.'

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'For me, school was a way out of the neighbourhood,

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a chance to be something.'

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'I figured, with my natural ability to bullshit

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and near-total lack of conscience, I should be a lawyer.'

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'My plan was to buy a big house in Westchester,

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where I'd play tennis and water polo, shit like that.'

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Hey! What are you, fuckin' blind?

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'But in my neighbourhood,

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it was better to keep ambitions like water polo to yourself.'

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Just valet it!

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20 minutes looking for a spot, you cheap cocksucker.

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-I'm not cheap.

-If you saw a sign saying "Free slaps in the face",

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you'd be the first on line.

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(THUMPING BASS)

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-Oh, my God.

-Whoa.

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-We gotta park.

-Park? They got valet!

-It's a rip-off.

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Look at that ass over there.

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-That's a guy, Bobby. Come on.

-Ha-ha-ha!

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-That really is a guy!

-That's not a guy. You guys are crazy!

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-Pretty good, Bobby, we're, like, 19 miles away.

-We'll get some exercise.

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I need exercise? I did 200 push-ups today.

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-Was he happy?

-Was who happy?

-The guy underneath you!

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-(LAUGHS)

-What are you laughing at with those fucking shoes?

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-They're penny loafers.

-I know. My grandfather has the same ones.

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-It's called a classic look, asshole.

-Classic?

-It never goes out of style,

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-unlike that sweater.

-Cardigans are back, my friend.

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Please, you look like the Italian Fred MacMurray.

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Before My Three Sons, Fred MacMurray used to be in movies.

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-Who gives a shit?

-Double indemnity, it's a good movie.

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Fuck Fred MacMurray, OK?

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Mike, you got a 20 you could lend me?

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-Till Tuesday, come on.

-What happens Tuesday?

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I'll give you another excuse till Wednesday. Come on, please?

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'Bobby never passed a church without saying a prayer,

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a habit beaten into him by overzealous nuns.'

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-Fuckin' hump.

-'Apparently, they hadn't beaten Carmine hard enough.'

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In the name of The Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost,

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Hail Mary, Mother of God, I know this is asking a lot,

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but do you think you could help these losers get laid tonight?

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That's really fucked, Carmine.

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Yeah, you're praying to a virgin to get us laid.

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You know you're both going to hell? Both of yous, hell.

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Father Canzoneri.

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'In our neighbourhood, Pastels was the place to hang.'

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Jesus Christ, look at all these broads!

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It's like the museum of pussy in here.

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-Petey.

-Hey, Carmine. What's up?

-Is your sister here?

-Yeah.

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-Nice sweater. Fred MacMurray used to be in movies!

-Don't listen to him.

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-I thought you were gonna call me.

-I lost your number. I'll call you.

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-Asshole!

-Come on, man!

-Come on, man, what?

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What, huh?

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Fuck, huh?!

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Whoa! Whoa!

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Get your fucking hands off me. You know who I'm with?

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-I don't give a fuck who you're with.

-Yeah, you don't care?

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-What the fuck are you looking at?

-What the fuck are you looking at,

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-douche bag?

-Asshole! Come on!

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'The back of the club was the VIP section,

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VIP being a euphemism for wise guy.'

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'By the mid-'80s, Caesar was a captain in the Gambino family

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and the man who controlled our neighbourhood.'

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'It was common knowledge he was a ruthless motherfucker.'

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Look at that fucking suit he's wearing. It's a 2,000 suit!

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It's nice.

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'Legend had it that Caesar killed a guy for giving him a bad haircut.'

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'For me, that always explained why Carmine worshipped him.'

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He's calling me over. Mike, he's calling me over.

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-How's my hair look?

-How's your hair?

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-It ain't enough you kiss his ass, you're gonna fuck him too?

-Fuck you.

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Hey, look who it is. Sit down over here.

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-How's your mother?

-She's really good. Thank you for asking.

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-You know Philly Cabrese?

-Hey. Carmine Mancuso.

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I heard some good things about you.

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You sick fuck! This kid,

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back in the fucking little league over there at St Columbus,

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caught a piece of the ball, look the fuck out.

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Good with a bat, huh? That's a good skill to have.

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You two should get to know each other.

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-Yo, we gotta talk to him.

-Who?

-Who? Carmine!

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This wise-guy shit! He's getting too involved with these guys.

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-He's a big boy.

-Mike, I'm serious.

-Alright, we'll talk to him!

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Hey, what do you think of the one in pink?

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The fat one?!

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She's not that fat.

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-She's wearing a tent!

-OK, she's a little fat.

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-You wouldn't fuck her?

-I don't know, Mike.

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Ah, fuck you!

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You're half a fag anyway.

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Oh, yeah. Mm.

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Oh, yeah.

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Ah, yeah.

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Don't stop.

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Don't fucking stop. < Mike! Mike!

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-What was that?

-Nothing! Don't worry about it.

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-They said your name.

-There's a lot of Mikes around. Don't stop.

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Ah...

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-Jesus!

-Hurry up and come already! Come on, I'm starving to death!

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That's not funny. Your friend's an asshole.

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Come on. Come on. Take that thing out of her head.

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-Watch the seats!

-(BOTH LAUGH)

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Fucking jerks. You couldn't have waited five more minutes?

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-Gimme a break. We did you a favour.

-Yeah, seriously, Mike.

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A girl that fat, you put your cock in her mouth, it could be dangerous.

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-Look, she was ugly, Mikey. Come on!

-You assholes!

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Well, if it isn't the last of the big spenders.

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Yes, please, er, a big stack of pancakes and a cup of decaf.

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-Just coffee.

-What comes with this "give me liberty or give me eggs"?

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Three eggs, toast, and two pieces of bacon or sausage,

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-Exactly like it says right there.

-OK, I'll have that.

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-Eggs?

-Yes, please.

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How would you like them, moron?

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Oh, well, um, scrambled?

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Bacon or sausage?

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-Can I have one piece of each?

-I suppose.

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-Oh, and a lemonade, please.

-Thank you.

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Give me liberty... Why do you always order something fucking stupid?!

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-What's with the lemonade?

-I like lemonade. Can I have water?!

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(WAITRESS BARKS FOOD ORDERS)

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So, what's new with Murder Incorporated?

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-What do you mean?

-You were over there a long time.

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Caesar introduced me to some people, so what?

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-Why are you getting involved with them?

-Why are you breaking my balls?

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Gimme a break? Christmas is coming. I need a score.

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You want a score?

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I got a scam for you. It can't miss.

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-Oh, yeah?

-Come here.

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You go down to Macy's, you fill out an application,

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loading dock or some shit.

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First week, you show up, do your job, everything's great.

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End of the week, they give you a cheque. You put that aside.

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Next week, same thing. You show up, do your job.

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End of that week, they give you another cheque.

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What's the scam?

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Well, that's it.

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-It's called a fuckin' job.

-Oh! Very funny. Very funny.

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I'm sure your fat girlfriend found you very amusing.

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-Shut up, douche bag.

-She's a big girl, Mike.

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-Aw, shut up.

-She's a big girl.

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'After the Hamilton House, we'd usually split up.'

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'Carmine would head back to Pastels and pick up a girlfriend.'

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'For the night.'

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-Ho, ho, ho, whoa, watch the hair!

-Sorry.

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Don't be sorry, just don't touch my fucking hair.

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'While Bobby'd pick up Amy, his girlfriend for life.'

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'They met at a video store.'

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'They were both trying to rent the only copy of Brigadoon.'

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'Hey, I guess people have gotten together for dumber reasons.'

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'Between work and school, I didn't have time for a relationship.'

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'At least that's what I told myself.'

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OK, people. This midterm counts for 50 per cent of your grade,

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so answer fully and completely.

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You may begin now.

0:14:190:14:22

'Remember I told you earlier how I loved to read?'

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'Well, that's true, except for one minor detail...'

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'I hated reading schoolbooks.'

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'It was weird. In some ways, I liked being unprepared.'

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'It was like this incredible challenge - me against the system.'

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'Of course, sometimes I failed to meet that challenge.'

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'Like right now.'

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'An F now would've killed me.'

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'I was six months away from graduating,

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applying to law schools, and dead in the fucking water.'

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'But I wasn't about to let that stop me.'

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OK, people. Time's up.

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Pencils down, please.

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Hand in your blue books, please, right here.

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'B & B Meats was where I worked after school.'

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'Good pay and all the cold cuts I could eat.'

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Come on. Go sweep up for me, alright?

0:15:340:15:36

Evening. You the boss?

0:15:400:15:43

Night manager. Help you?

0:15:430:15:45

Earl Webber. I'm in waste disposal.

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Now, I know what you're thinking.

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you already deal with a private sanitation company,

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but what would you say if I told you I could cut your rates in half?

0:15:520:15:57

You're obviously not from around here!

0:15:590:16:01

Son, stop right there.

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You know what this is?

0:16:040:16:06

It's an ear.

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I cut it off a gook in Vietnam.

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I'm impressed. What's your point?

0:16:130:16:16

That if I can deal with the VC,

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I sure as shit can deal with the boys around here.

0:16:180:16:20

You give your boss my card. Tell him Earl Webber's at his disposal.

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Y'all have a good evening.

0:16:240:16:26

'This guy was obviously a mental case.'

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'In New York, private sanitation was controlled by the wise guys.'

0:16:280:16:32

'Invent a better mousetrap here, you got a mousetrap stuck up your ass.'

0:16:320:16:36

'Temple Sinai was a local shul that occasionally ran a Las Vegas night

0:16:400:16:44

to raise money for Israel.'

0:16:440:16:46

'At least that's what they told the cops.'

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'The truth was its rabbi was a degenerate gambler

0:16:490:16:51

into his bookie for 50 grand.'

0:16:510:16:53

Come on! Again!

0:16:530:16:56

Jesus Christ!

0:16:560:16:57

'The result was, every night was Las Vegas night.'

0:16:570:17:00

-'Our own neighbourhood casino, run by Caesar.

-The fuck is wrong with you?

0:17:000:17:04

-20.

-Ah, yes!

0:17:050:17:08

-Here he is, Carminuch.

-Hey, Billy, what's going on?

0:17:080:17:11

-My buddy Michael. Michael, Billy.

-How's it going?

0:17:110:17:14

Listen, come by Butterfingers. Let me talk to you about that thing.

0:17:140:17:17

-Alright, yeah.

-Listen, play nice. Don't hurt yourselves.

0:17:170:17:21

-21.

-What's that, like, the ninth fucking time?

0:17:220:17:25

Shocking.

0:17:250:17:27

There it is, right there, that's what I'm talking about.

0:17:270:17:30

Montana and that donkey McMahon, they all got that stuff.

0:17:300:17:34

-21.

-Shocking!

0:17:350:17:37

-Everybody lose.

-Everybody lose!

0:17:370:17:39

Come on, put me out of my misery.

0:17:390:17:42

Come to Poppa. You bring a face card right now.

0:17:430:17:45

Fucking...!

0:17:450:17:47

-No, it's not a cocksucker. It's good. Aces, split.

-Yeah?

0:17:470:17:50

I have no money. I can't.

0:17:500:17:52

-Split? Yes?

-I have no money.

0:17:520:17:55

Go ahead. His credit is good.

0:17:550:17:57

-Go ahead. Split the aces.

-N-No! I-I don't wanna do that.

0:17:570:18:00

-You don't wanna split aces?

-I do. I just...

0:18:000:18:04

I don't want credit.

0:18:050:18:06

You don't want credit?

0:18:060:18:09

Oh.

0:18:090:18:11

OK, what do you say I give your friend here credit,

0:18:110:18:13

and you owe him the money?

0:18:130:18:15

I can't do that.

0:18:150:18:17

Mikey. Huh?

0:18:170:18:19

I'm starting to get a little complex here, kid.

0:18:190:18:21

I don't mean any disrespect, really. It's just...

0:18:210:18:24

I'd rather not.

0:18:250:18:27

So are you gonna stay on 12?

0:18:280:18:30

Uh, hit me.

0:18:300:18:32

Still 12.

0:18:340:18:36

Come on, nine or less.

0:18:370:18:40

Ooh, the suicide king, huh?

0:18:410:18:44

That was fuckin' genius, kid.

0:18:450:18:48

Suicide king.

0:18:490:18:51

Mr Martinez.

0:18:550:18:57

Nice job. Nice job.

0:18:570:18:59

Miss Frazen. Hmm, showing your leftist leanings, I see.

0:18:590:19:04

Miss Deutsch, very, very nice.

0:19:040:19:06

OK, folks, take a moment to look over your papers.

0:19:060:19:09

then I'd like to continue the discussion we started last time

0:19:090:19:12

on veto powers.

0:19:120:19:15

-Uh, excuse me, Professor?

-Mm-hmm?

0:19:230:19:26

I didn't get my test.

0:19:260:19:28

I didn't give it back to you?

0:19:280:19:30

Uh,...

0:19:300:19:32

no.

0:19:320:19:33

Huh.

0:19:340:19:36

Is something wrong?

0:19:360:19:38

Well, this has never happened to me before.

0:19:380:19:42

You didn't lose it, did you?

0:19:420:19:43

Well, I mean, I suppose I...

0:19:430:19:45

might have misplaced it someplace, but I...

0:19:450:19:48

I don't believe this!

0:19:480:19:51

Are you sure that you handed it in?

0:19:510:19:53

What's that supposed to mean?

0:19:530:19:55

Nothing. Nothing.

0:19:550:19:57

I'll, er, make arrangements for you to take a makeup exam.

0:19:570:20:01

A makeup...? I'm already studying for the final!

0:20:010:20:05

-This is bullshit!

-Just take it easy.

0:20:050:20:08

You lose my exam and it's my fault?

0:20:080:20:11

How do you think that you did?

0:20:110:20:14

Frankly, sir, it's not how I think I did.

0:20:150:20:18

I know I got an A. I never studied so hard in my life!

0:20:180:20:22

Well, how about this? Er...

0:20:220:20:24

If it doesn't turn up,

0:20:240:20:26

we'll let the final count for your entire grade.

0:20:260:20:29

(SIGHS)

0:20:290:20:31

Alright. But do me a favour. When you're grading the final,

0:20:330:20:37

bear in mind I got an A on your midterm.

0:20:370:20:39

Hm.

0:20:400:20:41

Hey. Hi.

0:20:530:20:55

-Hey.

-How you doing?

-Good.

0:20:550:20:58

-Michael. We're in poli-sci together.

-Right, sure. I'm Ellen.

0:20:580:21:04

Yeah, I know!

0:21:040:21:06

So Foster lost my test. Do you believe that?

0:21:090:21:11

Incredible, huh?! (LAUGHS)

0:21:110:21:14

So, you live in the city?

0:21:150:21:17

East Side. What about you?

0:21:170:21:20

Brooklyn for right now. But I'm thinking of moving.

0:21:200:21:24

-The village, maybe.

-Cool.

0:21:240:21:26

-Cool. I love it down there.

-Hm...

0:21:260:21:29

Listen,

0:21:300:21:33

-would you like to have a drink?

-What, like right now?

0:21:330:21:36

I was thinking this weekend, you know, Saturday, maybe.

0:21:360:21:40

But now's good too!

0:21:400:21:42

Actually, my birthday is this weekend.

0:21:430:21:45

-Oh, hey, happy birthday!

-Thanks.

0:21:450:21:48

I'm having a party on Saturday. You're welcome to come.

0:21:480:21:52

It's at Addiction in Tribeca.

0:21:520:21:55

Yeah, yeah, sure. I go there all the time.

0:21:550:21:57

-Great margaritas.

-Right?

-(LAUGHS)

0:21:570:22:00

Excuse me.

0:22:000:22:02

So I'll see you on Saturday then? Any time after 9.00 is good.

0:22:040:22:08

Yeah, great. Happy Thanksgiving.

0:22:080:22:11

Thanks. You too.

0:22:110:22:13

'This is Bobby's house, but for all intents and purposes,

0:22:150:22:18

it was mine, too.'

0:22:180:22:20

'I never really knew my dad, and my mom died when I was 17.'

0:22:200:22:25

'The Canzoneris were like family.'

0:22:250:22:28

'That's Bobby's mom, hands-down the worst cook in Brooklyn.'

0:22:280:22:32

'Compared to her lasagne, a bowl of shit would taste like Haagen-Dazs.'

0:22:320:22:36

'Aunt Louise... The most depressing woman in the world.'

0:22:360:22:40

'She wouldn't be happy sitting in the lap of Jesus.'

0:22:400:22:43

'Bobby's dad... Though he was born and raised right here in Brooklyn,

0:22:430:22:47

this man has done more to mangle the English language than Ebonics.'

0:22:470:22:50

Sofonabitch. Gimme the emote control!

0:22:500:22:53

-It's March Of The Wooden Soldiers!

-Change it back.

0:22:530:22:56

It's Laurel and Hardy!

0:22:560:22:58

-Friggin' dog, get up! Teresa!

-What?

0:22:590:23:02

He's pissin' the carpet again. He's incompetent!

0:23:020:23:04

-It's incontinent, John.

-Oh, who gives a shit?

0:23:040:23:08

Bless us, O Lord, for these five gifts

0:23:090:23:12

which we are about to receive from thy boundaries,

0:23:120:23:16

through Christ Our Lord. Amen.

0:23:160:23:19

-Amen.

-Amen.

0:23:190:23:21

Those kids, the ones in the stolen car...

0:23:280:23:31

Yeah, it's terrible.

0:23:310:23:34

16 years old.

0:23:350:23:37

Now they're dead.

0:23:370:23:40

Some Thanksgiving for their families.

0:23:400:23:42

See what happens you don't wear a seat belt?

0:23:420:23:44

-They were driving, like, 100 miles an hour.

-Irregardless.

0:23:440:23:48

I bet you wear your seat belt.

0:23:480:23:50

-Well...

-Who says I don't?

0:23:500:23:54

Die in a stolen car,

0:23:540:23:57

you'd probably go to hell.

0:23:570:24:00

This is delicious, Mrs Canz.

0:24:010:24:03

Yeah, Ma, it's great. (CLEARS THROAT)

0:24:030:24:06

Where the hell is Carmine?

0:24:090:24:11

Maybe somebody let the air out of his Pompadour.

0:24:110:24:14

Alright, here. Check this out. Let me know what you think.

0:24:160:24:19

"Postal clerk. 8.73 an hour."

0:24:210:24:24

-Are you gonna be a mailman?

-A mail clerk.

0:24:250:24:28

See, that way, if it rains, you get to stay inside.

0:24:280:24:31

It's federal, so if you fuck up, they can't fire you.

0:24:310:24:34

-How can you possibly fuck this up?

-I don't know.

0:24:340:24:37

-I'm just saying. What do you think?

-It's good.

0:24:370:24:39

You know. You're happy, I'm happy.

0:24:390:24:42

-When's the test?

-I just sent out for the application.

0:24:420:24:45

-What's up?

-(BOTH SNORT WITH LAUGHTER)

0:24:480:24:52

-Holy...

-What's so funny?

0:24:520:24:55

What?

0:24:570:24:59

So, the mafia's hiring bullfighters now?

0:24:590:25:01

Seriously, Carmine, you gotta be fucking kidding!

0:25:010:25:04

Why don't you check out GQ this month? This is the next big thing.

0:25:040:25:07

Where, Guadalajara?

0:25:070:25:09

Funny. Very funny. Go shine your penny loafers so we can go.

0:25:090:25:12

-We ready now, please?

-Uh-uh. He's going over to Amy's.

0:25:120:25:16

-You can knuckle her any time.

-Now none of yous are best man!

0:25:160:25:19

You're gonna marry the girl. You're gonna see her every day

0:25:190:25:23

-for the rest of your life.

-Not if I can't afford a ring.

0:25:230:25:26

-It's a movie, you fuckin' chiseler!

-How about Kiss Of The Spider Woman?

0:25:260:25:31

How about you kiss my fucking asshole?

0:25:310:25:33

-Then, I'm not going.

-Fine! We'll go without you.

0:25:330:25:37

-Come on, Zorro.

-Motherfucker!

0:25:380:25:41

Be quiet! My parents are sleeping.

0:25:410:25:45

See that's the thing...

0:25:450:25:48

Michael J Fox comes back at the end, right?

0:25:480:25:51

How come his parents don't recognize him as the kid from the beginning?

0:25:510:25:54

-Doesn't make any sense.

-Well, er...

0:25:540:25:57

maybe time travel screws with your memory or something.

0:25:570:26:00

But they didn't time travel, he did. Doesn't make any fucking sense.

0:26:000:26:03

I wouldn't overthink it, you know?

0:26:030:26:05

I'm just saying.

0:26:060:26:08

Fucking pig.

0:26:100:26:12

-Gimme a napkin, would you?

-Yeah.

0:26:120:26:15

-What's this?

-Nothing!

0:26:230:26:26

Some redneck tried to get me to hire him as our new garbage company.

0:26:260:26:30

-Get the fuck outta here.

-He's got a necklace with a fucking ear on it.

0:26:300:26:34

Cut it off some Gook.

0:26:340:26:35

-You should send him after that blackjack dealer.

-(LAUGHS)

0:26:350:26:40

Hey, what did Philly wanna talk to you about that night?

0:26:440:26:47

"Come see me about the thing.."

0:26:470:26:50

Um, nothing, you know, he's, er,

0:26:500:26:53

got something going down at the airport.

0:26:530:26:56

Ever heard of John Gotti?

0:26:560:26:58

Nah.

0:26:580:27:00

He's with the Gambinos in Queens. Philly's in with some of his crew.

0:27:010:27:06

Why are you fucking around with these guys?

0:27:060:27:08

I don't know, Mike. Maybe I should sign up for college, maybe,

0:27:080:27:11

-start hanging out in the city, huh?

-What's that supposed to mean?

0:27:110:27:15

Sometimes you act like we don't come from the same place.

0:27:150:27:18

-What are you talking about?

-What am I "talking" about?

0:27:180:27:21

What am I talk...? That. You sound like Thurston Howell.

0:27:210:27:24

-Excuse me for not wanting to sound like a moron!

-Oh.

0:27:240:27:28

You know what I mean.

0:27:280:27:30

Don't you ever wanna get out of this hellhole?

0:27:300:27:32

Where am I gonna go? The whole world's crazy.

0:27:320:27:35

-Not like here, it isn't.

-Not...?

0:27:350:27:38

They shot the fuckin' Pope, for Chrissakes, right in the Vatican!

0:27:380:27:42

Most accidents happen within two blocks of your house!

0:27:420:27:45

Look, it's just, Philly,

0:27:450:27:48

those other guys...

0:27:480:27:51

I worry about you, that's all.

0:27:510:27:53

-Tired of being a bust-out, Mick.

-So get a straight job.

0:27:530:27:56

A straight job with some bullshit company?

0:27:560:27:59

90% of the world works in some bullshit company.

0:27:590:28:02

I'm not them. You understand? I'm not them.

0:28:020:28:05

OK? I want respect in life. That's it.

0:28:050:28:08

You can say what you want about Philly and about Caesar,

0:28:080:28:11

but they get their money, and they get fuckin' respect.

0:28:110:28:15

There's a big difference between fear and respect.

0:28:150:28:19

All roads lead to Rome, Mikey. All roads lead to Rome.

0:28:190:28:24

Just be careful, OK?

0:28:240:28:26

I don't want to find you dead with two in the pompadour.

0:28:260:28:30

-See you later, buddy.

-Yeah.

0:28:300:28:33

-Hey, you forgot your jacket.

-No, I didn't.

0:28:360:28:39

-Keep it, you fuckin' hump.

-(LAUGHS)

0:28:390:28:42

(KNOCK AT DOOR) We're closed!

0:28:510:28:53

(KNOCKING)

0:28:530:28:55

(Come here.)

0:28:550:28:57

-Michael, I'm sorry.

-Come here!

0:29:010:29:04

-(MAN GRUNTS)

-Hit the lights. You close the gates.

0:29:040:29:07

Hey. It's nice to see you again.

0:29:080:29:12

-By the way, I'm Caesar. You're...?

-Michael.

-Michael, right.

0:29:120:29:15

This is the piece of shit that tried to get you to hire him, right?

0:29:150:29:18

-H-He didn't really...

-Yes or no. It's not your fault.

0:29:180:29:23

Oh, alright. You're a good kid. You don't wanna get involved.

0:29:230:29:28

Hey, scumbag! Foghorn Leghorn, let's go! On your feet!

0:29:280:29:32

-I'm talking to you, asshole.

-Fuck you!

0:29:320:29:36

Did you try to get him to hire you?

0:29:360:29:39

What are you lookin' at him for? He can't fuckin' help you!

0:29:390:29:43

Now tell me, did you or did you not? Tell me the truth, I'll let you go.

0:29:430:29:47

Yeah.

0:29:470:29:49

Is that a yes?

0:29:490:29:50

That wasn't so hard, was it? You OK?

0:29:500:29:54

Sorry I was rough with you. I lost my fucking temper.

0:29:540:29:57

I should learn how to count to ten.

0:29:570:29:59

Needles and pins or some fuckin' thing.

0:29:590:30:03

That's real nice. I heard you got that as a souvenir in Vietnam.

0:30:040:30:09

I never made it over there myself.

0:30:120:30:15

One of the biggest regrets of my fuckin' life, let me tell you.

0:30:150:30:19

A real fuckin' shame.

0:30:190:30:21

I would've liked to have had one of those for myself.

0:30:210:30:24

But you know something? I think maybe...

0:30:240:30:27

-I'll make one right now.

-No! No! No!

-Cocksucker!

0:30:270:30:30

-Turn that thing on!

-No!

-Come on! Turn it on!

-Please! No!

0:30:300:30:35

-You think you're gonna take money outta my pocket?

-No!

0:30:350:30:38

-You fucking scumbag? Come on!

-(SCREAMS)

0:30:380:30:40

-Yeah!

-No! No! Please!

0:30:400:30:42

(METAL SEARS / MAN SCREAMS)

0:30:420:30:46

(SCREAMS)

0:30:490:30:52

You should call it the fuckin' Van Gogh Garbage Company now.

0:30:540:30:58

Cash... Cos I know you don't like credit!

0:31:060:31:11

-Sorry about the mess.

-(WEEPS)

0:31:140:31:17

Are you out of your fucking mind?

0:31:270:31:29

I said I was sorry. How many times d'you wanna hear it?

0:31:290:31:31

I didn't tell you about this guy so you could score points with Caesar!

0:31:310:31:35

-He cut the guy's ear off!

-Look -

-What did you think you would get?

0:31:350:31:38

-Mafia Employee of the Month?

-You know what,

0:31:380:31:40

if you shut the fuck up for a second, I'll tell you what happened!

0:31:400:31:45

Just let him talk.

0:31:450:31:46

Alright? Listen to me. I was at Butterfingers with Philly.

0:31:460:31:50

-We had a drink -

-Now, who's Philly?

-Caesar's guy.

0:31:500:31:53

-It came up in conversation.

-When you were trying to impress him

0:31:530:31:57

-about how tough you are?

-OK, you know what? Fuck you. Fuck you.

0:31:570:32:01

-I apologise 26 times!

-What are you gonna do, cut my ear off?

0:32:010:32:05

-I'll give you a fuckin' beatin', how about that?

-Come on! Enough!

0:32:050:32:08

I feel like Mills Lane here!

0:32:080:32:11

You're my best friends, and with all due respect,

0:32:110:32:13

I'm not gonna stand by and watch while he beats the shit outta you.

0:32:130:32:16

As for you, I don't care how this started. You're just an asshole.

0:32:160:32:21

Alright,

0:32:280:32:30

what happened?

0:32:300:32:32

I was talking to Philly, alright,

0:32:320:32:35

and I admit, I stupidly brought up the sanitation moron.

0:32:350:32:38

Next thing, Caesar's standing there. Philly tells him. He turns purple,

0:32:380:32:42

and that's it.

0:32:420:32:44

A half an hour later, he's pummelling the shit outta the guy.

0:32:440:32:47

Jesus Christ, Carmine!

0:32:470:32:49

Michael, please. I apologise. I did not know that this was gonna happen.

0:32:490:32:52

Did you just get off a fucking spaceship?

0:32:520:32:55

What the fuck did you think was gonna happen?

0:32:550:32:58

That's the point, I didn't think. Look, it's over.

0:32:580:33:00

Please, Mike, it's over. Don't worry about it.

0:33:000:33:02

-Caesar likes you.

-I don't want him to like me!

0:33:020:33:05

You wanna fuck around with these guys, that's your business,

0:33:050:33:08

but I wanna go through life without Caesar Manganaro knowing I exist!

0:33:080:33:11

You gotta get away from these guys.

0:33:110:33:14

I'm sorry, Mike.

0:33:180:33:20

-Please. I'm sorry.

-(SIGHS)

0:33:200:33:24

Sorry.

0:33:240:33:26

Come on.

0:33:260:33:28

Come on! Come on.

0:33:280:33:32

Come on.

0:33:320:33:33

-Thank you.

-Yeah.

0:33:330:33:35

-I just don't understand how you do that.

-Do what?

0:33:390:33:44

You're supposed to put mustard on hot dogs.

0:33:440:33:46

So? In England, they put mayonnaise on French fries.

0:33:460:33:49

-Oh, this look like fuckin' England to you?

-(LAUGHS)

0:33:490:33:53

How about I squirt this in your face?

0:33:530:33:56

Hey, that's that guy who had the fight with the busboy that night.

0:33:580:34:01

-What busboy?

-At Pastels.

0:34:010:34:04

Philly knows that kid.

0:34:040:34:05

He's with the Bonannos. Supposed to be a real maniac.

0:34:050:34:08

Are you the official gossip columnist for the Mob?

0:34:080:34:11

I like to stay on top of things, alright?

0:34:110:34:13

Speaking of fucking, we going out tomorrow night or what?

0:34:130:34:16

I don't know. This girl at school invited me to a party.

0:34:160:34:20

And?

0:34:210:34:24

What?

0:34:240:34:25

And we're not invited?

0:34:250:34:27

(LAUGHS) Of course. It's just gonna be a lot of college assholes, though.

0:34:270:34:32

-What, like you?

-Yeah, exactly like me.

0:34:320:34:35

Look, all I'm saying... you guys might not be comfortable.

0:34:350:34:39

Are you embarrassed of us, Mike?

0:34:390:34:43

-What the hell are you talking about?

-There was a little hesitation there.

0:34:430:34:47

Get the fuck out of here! Look, if you wanna come, come.

0:34:470:34:51

If you don't, go fuck yourselves, OK?

0:34:510:34:55

# "Dancing With Myself" - Billy Idol

0:34:550:34:58

-The car's alright here?

-Yeah, sure. why not?

0:35:300:35:33

It's the city. What do I know?

0:35:330:35:35

(LAUGHING / CHATTING)

0:35:390:35:42

Michael! What's up, man? (LAUGHS)

0:35:420:35:46

-Hey, Todd. How you doing, man?

-Todd? Fuckin' re-todd.

0:35:460:35:50

He's alright. He plays on the lacrosse team.

0:35:500:35:53

Sorry to hear that.

0:35:530:35:55

# "Karma Chameleon" - Culture Club

0:35:550:35:58

Hey. Wow, you made it.

0:36:100:36:13

Well, of course, it's your birthday.

0:36:130:36:16

Hey, these are my friends...

0:36:160:36:19

Excuse me.

0:36:200:36:22

-What's the problem?

-I don't know.

0:36:240:36:27

-He won't let us in.

-There's a dress code. No tennis shoes.

0:36:270:36:30

Do I look like I play fuckin' tennis? They're called sneakers.

0:36:300:36:33

Uh, Ellen, these are my friends. This is Bobby.

0:36:330:36:36

Hi. How are ya?

0:36:360:36:37

-This is Carmine.

-Hello.

0:36:370:36:39

How you doin'?

0:36:390:36:41

OK?

0:36:430:36:45

I don't want any trouble, alright?

0:36:460:36:48

If you wanna stay, that's fine, but your friends don't belong here.

0:36:480:36:51

-Ooh...

-What's that supposed to mean?

0:36:510:36:54

-Back up.

-Hey, don't put your fuckin' hands on me, alright?

0:36:540:36:57

-Take a walk.

-I'll be right back.

0:36:570:37:00

-What's this guy's problem?

-I don't know. He's an asshole.

0:37:030:37:06

Why don't you go tell him we're on the lacrosse team, huh?

0:37:060:37:09

Sorry, it's bullshit. Since when do you wear sneakers anyway?

0:37:090:37:12

What fuckin' difference does it make what I'm wearing?

0:37:120:37:15

It's alright. Go with your girl.

0:37:150:37:18

Go.

0:37:180:37:20

Seriously, go.

0:37:220:37:24

It's fine.

0:37:240:37:25

Tell you what. Go around the side. I'll meet you there.

0:37:260:37:30

It's not a big deal. I got somewhere I gotta be anyway.

0:37:300:37:33

-Go have fun. Go get laid.

-Come on!

0:37:330:37:36

Look, fuck this guy. We'll have a good time!

0:37:360:37:40

Alright. Go, we'll meet you round back.

0:37:440:37:46

-Two minutes. Right around the side.

-Alright.

0:37:460:37:50

Go ahead.

0:37:500:37:52

Hey, asshole! Give me a call sometime! We'll go play tennis!

0:37:560:38:00

Fucking jerk!

0:38:000:38:02

Carmine!

0:38:150:38:17

Bobby!

0:38:180:38:20

-Hey.

-Hi!

0:38:320:38:34

-Is everything alright?

-Yeah, they had something to do, so they left.

0:38:340:38:39

-Can I get you something to drink?

-A blue margarita.

0:38:390:38:43

Blue margarita, shot of jack.

0:38:430:38:45

You look nice.

0:38:490:38:51

Don't let the clothes fool ya.

0:38:510:38:53

You don't look so bad yourself.

0:38:530:38:56

So...

0:38:570:38:59

-Happy birthday.

-Thanks.

0:38:590:39:02

So your friends, are they from Brooklyn too?

0:39:070:39:10

Switzerland, Olympic yodelling team.

0:39:100:39:14

-It's funny, the whole Brooklyn thing.

-Funny?

0:39:160:39:19

Well, like in class, I always sensed there was something off about you.

0:39:190:39:24

Off?

0:39:240:39:26

Um, edgy, you know.

0:39:260:39:29

It's a compliment. Edgy's good.

0:39:290:39:32

OK, I'll quit while I'm ahead.

0:39:330:39:37

(STUDENTS CHEER)

0:39:370:39:39

-Do you wanna get out of here, go someplace we can talk?

-Yeah.

0:39:410:39:45

(THUNDER / RAIN FALLS)

0:39:510:39:53

Ah, this is great. How romantic!

0:39:540:39:58

So...

0:40:010:40:02

-Don't I take you to the classiest joints?

-(LAUGHS) It's great!

0:40:020:40:07

It's not great. It's terrible. Would you like to go back inside?

0:40:090:40:12

No, I wanna stay.

0:40:120:40:14

Really?

0:40:140:40:16

Alright!

0:40:170:40:19

-So that was pretty slick last week.

-What was?

0:40:190:40:22

What you did with the poli-sci test.

0:40:220:40:24

I saw you slip it in your jacket.

0:40:240:40:27

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) I... I can explain that.

0:40:270:40:31

Relax. I'm not a stool pigeon.

0:40:310:40:34

It's funny, your friends look like they'd be scam artists, but you...

0:40:340:40:38

-That's exactly why I'm so effective.

-Yeah, it's the innocent face.

0:40:380:40:43

Plus the fact that you seem so smart when you talk in class.

0:40:430:40:46

-I am smart!

-Then, how come I caught you?

0:40:460:40:49

Hmm... Maybe I let you catch me.

0:40:490:40:53

-What?

-Hmm... I'm just trying to get a handle on you.

0:40:570:41:01

-(LAUGHS)

-I mean, on the outside, you're this cute, preppy guy,

0:41:010:41:06

-but on the inside, you're obviously the devil.

-Hmm.

0:41:060:41:10

Do you always analyze people?

0:41:110:41:13

-I do minor in psych.

-Ah! OK, I get it.

0:41:130:41:18

-I'm a psych experiment.

-No, you are not!

-Yeah!

0:41:180:41:22

Great view.

0:41:280:41:30

Yeah, it's beautiful.

0:41:300:41:32

I was talking about you.

0:41:320:41:35

(LAUGHS)

0:41:350:41:37

What?

0:41:370:41:39

Do lines like that ever actually work?

0:41:390:41:42

Er...! Apparently not on women who minor in psych.

0:41:420:41:47

OK, you have one more shot.

0:41:480:41:50

I'll try and make it good.

0:41:520:41:55

I'm glad you invited me.

0:41:560:41:59

Yeah, me, too.

0:41:590:42:01

'What I didn't know was, while I was getting to know Ellen,

0:42:150:42:19

Carmine was out in Queens getting to know his new friends.'

0:42:190:42:22

Get down. Come here. Come here.

0:42:230:42:27

-(MAN GRUNTS)

-Get up, fuck.

0:42:270:42:30

-What have you got back there? Anything good?

-I don't know.

0:42:300:42:33

-What about those video games? You got those Ataris?

-I don't know.

0:42:330:42:38

-I think it's Cabbage Patch Dolls.

-Cabbage Patch Dolls, yeah? Good.

0:42:380:42:42

Get the fuck against that fence.

0:42:420:42:44

If you turn around, I'll chop your fuckin' head off.

0:42:440:42:47

Turn around again. Turn around again, you stupid fuck.

0:42:470:42:51

That lying cocksucker. What the fuck are we gonna do with these?

0:42:590:43:04

We're gonna sell 'em. No, Philly, these are great.

0:43:040:43:07

The Quiz King. You don't know this? We can sell 'em for ten bucks a pop.

0:43:070:43:11

Yeah, but the Cabbage Patches, those are like fucking gold.

0:43:110:43:16

"..the President and Mrs Reagan will spend the day touring the city..."

0:43:190:43:24

-Where's the dice?

-They're right there.

-Here, you go.

0:43:240:43:27

Yes, I'm in. Go.

0:43:270:43:30

Hey, Mikey, did you fuck that girl or not?

0:43:300:43:33

Whoa! No good. This one's off limits.

0:43:330:43:36

Hold on a minute.

0:43:360:43:37

You ditch us, and we don't have the right to know if you got laid?

0:43:370:43:41

I didn't ditch you. You left.

0:43:410:43:44

So you fucked her?

0:43:440:43:45

What'd I just say? I'm not gonna talk about her like that.

0:43:450:43:48

Oh! He didn't fuck her.

0:43:480:43:50

Read the question, asshole.

0:43:500:43:52

-This one's for a peg.

-The last peg. Kiss your money goodbye.

0:43:520:43:56

-You gotta answer exactly.

-Alright. come on.

0:43:560:43:58

"What's the name of the largest railroad station in the world?"

0:43:580:44:03

-Grand central.

-Uh!

0:44:030:44:05

-What do you think?

-No, more specific.

0:44:050:44:08

Grand Central Station.

0:44:080:44:10

-Wrong.

-What do you mean, wrong?

0:44:100:44:12

Grand Central Terminal.

0:44:120:44:14

-Get outta here!

-That's what it says.

-I don't care what it says.

0:44:140:44:17

-I'm sorry, those are the rules.

-Gimme that money!

-Stop.

0:44:170:44:22

-You answered...

-Ho. Shut up, shut up. listen.

0:44:220:44:24

"..Aniello Dellacroce died today of cancer."

0:44:240:44:27

"Dellacroce, allegedly second in command under Paul Castellano,

0:44:270:44:31

was an underworld figure with ties dating back..."

0:44:310:44:33

Holy shit, this is big.

0:44:330:44:35

Why? What's the matter?

0:44:350:44:37

Dellacroce, he's, like, Gotti's godfather or something.

0:44:370:44:40

-So?

-So Philly tells me that Gotti hates Castellano,

0:44:400:44:45

and with this guy gone, who knows what could happen?

0:44:450:44:48

We'd better call Luca Brasi, cos we might have to go to the mattresses!

0:44:480:44:53

You're both very funny, amusing.

0:44:530:44:56

But I would not be surprised if this causes some serious problems.

0:44:560:44:59

Yeah, I got my own problems...

0:44:590:45:02

-Like that's my fuckin' money!

-No, it's not. You answered wrong!

0:45:020:45:06

Would you stop?

0:45:060:45:07

'Over the next few days, it seemed like every wise guy in New York

0:45:070:45:10

turned out for Neil Dellacroce's wake.'

0:45:100:45:13

'Everyone but the boss, Paul Castellano,

0:45:130:45:15

a fact that did not go unnoticed by John Gotti.'

0:45:150:45:19

'As for us, Dellacroce's death resulted in a windfall.'

0:45:190:45:23

'Because every wise guy in the Gambino family

0:45:230:45:26

had to attend Dellacroce's wake,...'

0:45:260:45:29

-Ladies.

-So?

0:45:290:45:31

'..Philly found himself with six Sinatra tickets he couldn't use.'

0:45:310:45:34

'So we dressed to the nines, picked up our dates,

0:45:340:45:37

and got ready for a night to remember.'

0:45:370:45:40

'If you were a guy from any kind of neighbourhood,

0:45:400:45:42

you had a special place in your heart for Frank.'

0:45:420:45:44

-# New York, New York - Frank Sinatra

-Let's take the picture.

0:45:440:45:48

Alright? Scrunch up.

0:45:480:45:50

-'And if you were from any kind of hood in New York,...'

-Bootiful.

0:45:500:45:54

..this song gave you the chills...' # New York, New York - Frank Sinatra

0:45:540:45:58

(RECORD SCRATCHES)

0:45:580:46:00

'Unfortunately the news was the tickets were counterfeit.'

0:46:000:46:03

'All dressed up and no place to go, we ended up at the Hamilton House.'

0:46:030:46:07

How was I supposed to know? You're telling me that doesn't look real?

0:46:070:46:11

These say Hank Sinatra.

0:46:110:46:13

OK, that's enough, please.

0:46:130:46:15

Burgers are on their way. Are you ready to order yet?

0:46:150:46:19

Yeah, I'm gonna get the cheese melt.

0:46:190:46:21

-You mean the grilled cheese.

-Actually, it's a little different.

0:46:210:46:25

You see, you toast the bread first, then you let the cheese melt on top.

0:46:250:46:29

-You want a cheese sandwich on toast?

-Yeah, more or less.

0:46:290:46:32

-So, why don't you just say that, doofus?

-Cos I call it a cheese melt!

0:46:320:46:36

-Amy, how do you put up with him, huh?

-I think he's adorable.

0:46:360:46:39

-So do I.

-Thank you, Ellen!

0:46:390:46:43

-So, Angela, what do you do?

-I'm in school. Fingernail technology.

0:46:430:46:47

(ALL) Ah! That's nice.

0:46:470:46:50

And how long have you guys all known each other?

0:46:500:46:52

-Kindergarten.

-Yeah, but Bobby was in the, er,

0:46:520:46:56

special, er,

0:46:560:46:57

-retard class.

-Hey, leave my baby alone, Carmine!

0:46:570:47:00

-You guys been dating long?

-Two years this month.

0:47:000:47:04

what are you wasting time for?

0:47:040:47:06

-Will you make her an honest woman already?

-(LAUGHS) Don't rush me!

0:47:060:47:10

-Who gets the cherry lime?

-Right here.

0:47:100:47:14

-The cheese melt.

-Thank you.

0:47:140:47:16

I'll be right back.

0:47:160:47:18

-What's wrong?

-Nothin'. I'm gonna go wash up.

0:47:180:47:21

-"Comb my hair for about 20 minutes."

-(ALL LAUGH)

0:47:210:47:24

Uh, excuse me. That seat's taken.

0:47:250:47:28

-I know, asshole. I just took it.

-Nah, I mean he's in the bathroom.

0:47:280:47:32

Oh, well, when he comes out, tell him to go fuck himself.

0:47:320:47:36

-Hey, what's your problem?

-Bobby...

0:47:360:47:39

-No, this isn't right.

-Baby.

0:47:390:47:41

-What'd you say?

-I said, what's your problem? Why'd you take our chair?

0:47:410:47:45

-Our friend's using that one.

-Cos I fuckin' felt like taking' it!

0:47:450:47:48

-Hey, we don't want any trouble.

-No trouble.

0:47:480:47:51

I'm just gonna slap the shit outta you and your faggot friend here.

0:47:510:47:54

-Watch your mouth.

-What?

-I said don't talk to my friend that way.

0:47:540:47:58

Why? What are you gonna do?

0:47:580:48:01

'Good question. The guy was a stone-cold psycho.'

0:48:010:48:06

'What could I do?'

0:48:060:48:08

(DINERS SCREAM)

0:48:080:48:11

'Except that.'

0:48:120:48:14

You motherfucker. You're fucking dead!

0:48:140:48:17

-I'll break your fuckin' neck!

-Get off him, motherfucker.

-Bobby!

0:48:190:48:23

Bobby!

0:48:230:48:26

You motherfucker!

0:48:380:48:40

Call the police!

0:48:420:48:44

Have a seat!

0:48:440:48:46

Cops! Let's go!

0:48:460:48:47

You don't know who you're fucking with! You're fucking dead!

0:48:470:48:51

You hear me, you fuck? You're dead!

0:48:510:48:54

-What'd you say?

-Nothin'.

0:49:040:49:05

Would you look at this shit? This cocksucker tore my hair out.

0:49:050:49:09

I'm gonna look like Frankenstein

0:49:090:49:11

and he's worried about his fuckin' hair!

0:49:110:49:14

Where's, uh, thing?

0:49:140:49:17

Angela.

0:49:170:49:19

-Right, Angela.

-She left.

0:49:190:49:22

Yeah, there's a big emergency over at the, uh, beauty academy.

0:49:220:49:24

-Someone tore a cuticle.

-You ready? Let's go.

0:49:240:49:27

I'm a little hungry. I could go for a cheese melt.

0:49:270:49:30

-How about you?

-Fuck you!

0:49:300:49:31

Michael... OK?

0:49:310:49:33

Sorry.

0:49:330:49:35

-Can I borrow your keys? I gotta get this thing stitched up.

-Yeah.

0:49:350:49:39

-Put gas in it, alright?

-Of course.

0:49:390:49:43

Good night.

0:49:440:49:46

So, uh...

0:50:020:50:04

-I'll call you tomorrow.

-OK?

0:50:040:50:06

-Is everything alright?

-Yeah, I'm fine.

0:50:070:50:10

Cos you hardly said a word at the hospital, the drive home.

0:50:100:50:16

I'm just a little shaken up. I've never seen anything like that.

0:50:160:50:21

-You've never seen a fight?

-I grew up in Connecticut, Michael.

0:50:210:50:25

People don't have fights in restaurants.

0:50:250:50:28

Well, what do they do, correct each other's grammar?!

0:50:280:50:32

You could have been killed.

0:50:320:50:34

OK. I understand.

0:50:350:50:37

But you're acting like I did something wrong.

0:50:370:50:40

Hey, hey, hey, hang on!

0:50:410:50:43

W-Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Come here.

0:50:430:50:46

Now, you don't think this is my fault?

0:50:510:50:53

-You should've let him take the chair.

-We were using the chair!

0:50:530:50:57

Well, that was worth a scar!

0:50:570:50:59

What about insultin' Bobby?

0:50:590:51:01

I've heard you and Carmine say worse things to Bobby.

0:51:010:51:05

It's different. We love him.

0:51:050:51:07

Oh, that's how you show love, by insulting each other?

0:51:070:51:11

-In a twisted way, yeah.

-Yeah, that is twisted.

0:51:110:51:15

Hey. Don't let a coupla psych classes go to your head.

0:51:150:51:18

-We're just from a different world.

-You need to open your eyes.

0:51:180:51:22

What makes you think I want to?

0:51:220:51:24

Well, let's see! The preppy clothes, applying to law school...

0:51:240:51:29

-It's all a big act. It's bullshit.

-How about treatin' you with respect

0:51:290:51:33

and not like some fuckin' whore? You think that's an act too?

0:51:330:51:36

I don't know what to think.

0:51:360:51:39

You are so fuckin' impressed with yourself, aren't you,

0:51:400:51:44

With your rich parents and your brother in med school?

0:51:440:51:47

-You think you're better than me!

-No, you think I'm better than you.

0:51:470:51:51

-Yeah, right.

-Of course you do! That's why you cheat. Don't you know that?

0:51:510:51:55

You obviously know every fucking thing about me.

0:51:550:51:57

No, hardly anything, but I know that much.

0:51:570:51:59

You're afraid to compete on a level playing field.

0:51:590:52:03

If you don't play by the rules, you don't have to find out it's true.

0:52:030:52:07

Where'd you read that, Psychology Today?

0:52:070:52:09

No, it was written all over your face the night of my party.

0:52:090:52:13

Yeah, alright. I think we're done here.

0:52:140:52:18

Yeah, I guess we are. I wouldn't wanna open up your cut.

0:52:180:52:22

Fuck you!

0:52:220:52:24

What the fuck are you lookin' at?

0:52:310:52:33

'As much as I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about what Ellen said.'

0:52:390:52:43

'It should've been easy,

0:52:440:52:45

since the Hamilton House incident was turning out to be a serious problem.'

0:52:450:52:51

'The guy I had the fight with was a major sore loser,

0:52:510:52:54

and I broke his nose.'

0:52:540:52:57

'For a guy like that,

0:52:570:52:59

being on the short end of a fight with a college kid

0:52:590:53:02

was an embarrassment with only one remedy.' (KNOCK AT DOOR)

0:53:020:53:06

'He was looking to kill me.'

0:53:100:53:12

-Ho.

-Jesus!

-Easy with that roscoe, killer. Put it away, please.

0:53:180:53:23

Fuck!

0:53:230:53:25

-What's up?

-Everything's taken care of. You got nothin' to worry about.

0:53:250:53:30

-Well, that's fucking great! How'd you pull that off?

-Er...

0:53:300:53:33

I had to go to Philly and them.

0:53:330:53:36

Mike, Mike, come on. I had no choice. The kid's a killer.

0:53:360:53:40

Philly's gonna talk to Caesar about squashing him.

0:53:400:53:43

So, that's it?

0:53:430:53:45

Not exactly.

0:53:450:53:47

What do I have to do?

0:53:470:53:49

They want you to take a dive in your next fight against Hagler.

0:53:490:53:53

-I'm serious, Carmine.

-(LAUGHS)

0:53:530:53:55

You don't have to do anything, OK? We're gonna go for a sit-down.

0:53:550:53:59

Jesus Christ!

0:53:590:54:01

Would you relax? Look at you.

0:54:010:54:05

'Bayridge Lanes was like a wise-guy family annex,

0:54:050:54:08

a neutral place where a lot of sit-downs were held.'

0:54:080:54:11

'After hearing our side of the story, Caesar agreed to intervene.'

0:54:110:54:15

'The psycho, whose name was Gino,

0:54:150:54:17

was represented by Jimmy Baggs, a captain with the Bonannos.'

0:54:170:54:21

The way I understand this, your guy was the first to raise his hands.

0:54:240:54:28

-That's the way I understand it, too.

-Well, we can't have that, Caesar.

0:54:280:54:31

Granted, things got outta hand with the chair and all that,

0:54:310:54:34

but this kid's got a broken nose and he wants his revenge.

0:54:340:54:39

-Are you done?

-Go ahead.

0:54:390:54:42

First of all, and with all due respect,

0:54:420:54:44

-this kid's a fuckin' strunz.

-Come on.

-Ho, ho!

0:54:440:54:46

Shut your fuckin' mouth.

0:54:460:54:49

-I'm sorry, Caesar. Go ahead.

-Two weeks ago,

0:54:520:54:55

he walks into my club and starts dukin' it out with a busboy,

0:54:550:54:58

and I can't even tell you all the other fuckin' stories I heard.

0:54:580:55:00

-But he didn't throw the first punch.

-I understand that,

0:55:000:55:03

My guy did. But after your guy insulted his friend.

0:55:030:55:06

My guy's supposed to take a beatin'? I would've given him a beating

0:55:060:55:09

if he didn't stand up for his friend.

0:55:090:55:11

You fuckin' look at me when I'm talking to you.

0:55:130:55:16

You make me sick. You know that? You're the type of kid kicks a dog,

0:55:160:55:20

then calls animal control when it fuckin' bites you.

0:55:200:55:22

Your good fortune is that it was him and not somebody else that night.

0:55:220:55:25

If that had been me at his age, you'd have left in a body bag.

0:55:250:55:29

Jimmy, this is a good kid. He works, he goes to college,

0:55:290:55:33

and he's done right by me. I don't want him touched.

0:55:330:55:35

That means no looks, no phone calls. You see him coming down the street,

0:55:350:55:39

you nod, say hello like a gentleman, or you cross to the other side.

0:55:390:55:43

You hear me?

0:55:430:55:46

Ho, he's talking to you!

0:55:460:55:49

I hear you.

0:55:500:55:52

So we all understand each other?

0:55:520:55:55

It's squashed.

0:55:550:55:56

Now, that's it. I don't wanna hear nothin' more about this.

0:55:560:55:59

Tell all your friends the same.

0:55:590:56:02

I don't wanna hear this again. It's over.

0:56:020:56:05

Now, get outta here. Go and make some fuckin' money.

0:56:050:56:08

-Real fuckin' cowboy, this kid.

-What are you gonna do?

0:56:130:56:16

-I was sorry to hear about Neil.

-We all were.

0:56:170:56:21

Not from what I hear.

0:56:210:56:23

-Big Paul didn't show up?

-His choice. He's the boss.

0:56:230:56:26

-Yeah, but even still, a little respect, no?

-The guy's sick.

0:56:260:56:29

He got the insulin shots twice a day...

0:56:290:56:32

Yeah, well...

0:56:320:56:35

Give my regards.

0:56:350:56:37

You take care of yourself.

0:56:400:56:43

C-Caesar...

0:56:480:56:51

-I don't know what to say.

-Ah!

-Thank you.

-Don't mention it.

0:56:510:56:54

We'll have to call you Mikey Dukes! That was a pretty good shot.

0:56:540:56:58

Well, I was lucky!

0:56:580:57:00

Hey, Mike, do me a favour.

0:57:000:57:01

-Go check on my car for me, would you?

-Yeah, sure.

0:57:010:57:04

Hey.

0:57:050:57:06

You ever find that guy's ear?

0:57:060:57:09

Oh!

0:57:100:57:12

Sit down here.

0:57:150:57:17

He's a good kid. Stand-up guy.

0:57:200:57:22

Yeah, Mikey? Mikey's the best.

0:57:220:57:24

It's good to remember who your friends are, huh?

0:57:240:57:27

So Philly told me about the toy thing.

0:57:270:57:30

So you guys are like the fuckin' Grinch!

0:57:300:57:34

I heard you handle yourself good. I'm glad.

0:57:340:57:37

Thank you, Caesar. That means a lot coming from you.

0:57:370:57:39

This life, it's not for everybody. There's easier ways to make a buck.

0:57:390:57:43

Wall Street, college, whatever.

0:57:430:57:46

Things are a little tense with Neil dying and all.

0:57:480:57:51

-Let's stay in touch and see what's what.

-Great, thank you.

0:57:510:57:55

It's just a regular application. What's the problem?

0:57:580:58:01

Nothing. I just wanna make sure I filled it out right.

0:58:010:58:03

You're supposed to colour in the circles

0:58:030:58:06

-that correspond to the letters in your name.

-No, I did.

0:58:060:58:09

Yeah? When did you change your name to...

0:58:090:58:13

-..Rokdad Calmanexja?

-Ugh!

0:58:130:58:16

How is it you know every Oscar winner back to the Stone Age,

0:58:160:58:19

yet you can't handle an application for the Post Office?

0:58:190:58:21

-I'm not good with forms, OK?

-(CHUCKLES)

0:58:210:58:24

-What?

-Nothin'!

0:58:260:58:29

I know we fuck around a lot, it's just...

0:58:310:58:34

I want you to know I think it's great you taking this test.

0:58:340:58:39

I'm proud of you.

0:58:390:58:42

I'm serious!

0:58:420:58:44

-What?

-I don't know! It sounds like you're trying to hit me in the seat!

0:58:440:58:48

Fuck you, alright? I'm trying to be nice!

0:58:480:58:52

-Alright, you tight bastard, this is for all the marbles.

-Yeah.

0:58:530:58:57

-You feel loose? You ready?

-Yeah, I feel good.

0:58:570:58:59

These aren't amateurs you're dealing with. These guys are killers.

0:58:590:59:03

-It's OK. Gimme a name.

-Er, Wernick's.

0:59:030:59:06

-Wernick's, Wernick's. Alright, let's do it.

-Alright,.

0:59:060:59:09

It's nice, but there's no way I'm paying three grand.

0:59:110:59:14

-It's a beautiful ring.

-I'm not saying it isn't.

0:59:140:59:17

It's the highest quality.

0:59:170:59:19

-We're giving it to you at 2 per cent above wholesale.

-Two? Hm!

0:59:190:59:23

What? Is something wrong?

0:59:240:59:26

-I'm trying to see if someone wrote "asshole" on my forehead.

-Sir!

0:59:260:59:30

-Nah, vvs, cvs, come on, huh?

-If you want,

0:59:300:59:33

we take the ring down the block,

0:59:330:59:35

-we get it appraised.

-By who, your cousin? Do you believe these guys?

0:59:350:59:40

Alright. Forget three grand...

0:59:400:59:43

Look, I don't wanna be here all night, OK? For the 50th time,

0:59:450:59:48

you know and I know this ring is barely worth 1,000.

0:59:480:59:51

This is a De Beers diamond.

0:59:510:59:53

-So I'll give you 1,200!

-Ridiculous. Forget it.

0:59:530:59:57

OK. I tried.

0:59:571:00:00

Thanks. We'll go back to Wernick's. Thanks anyway.

1:00:001:00:04

Wait! Wernick is a thief.

1:00:051:00:09

And what are you guys?

1:00:091:00:11

Come on back.

1:00:111:00:13

Let me see something here.

1:00:131:00:15

Save the calculator show for the hicks from long island, alright?

1:00:161:00:20

1,200 or I walk.

1:00:201:00:22

-Plus tax.

-No tax and it includes the setting.

1:00:221:00:25

(SIGHS)

1:00:251:00:27

-(WHISPERS)

-Oh, alright!

1:00:271:00:30

Gimme a nice box too?

1:00:301:00:32

(HAPPY CHRISTMAS MUSIC)

1:00:321:00:35

'Over the next few days, things got back to normal...

1:00:451:00:48

-Happy holidays!

-'Actually, they were better than normal.'

1:00:481:00:52

'It was right before Christmas, the semester was almost over,

1:00:541:00:58

and I got a letter that changed my life.'

1:00:581:01:01

'I was going to law school.'

1:01:031:01:06

'I always said if you really wanna know who a person's close to,

1:01:061:01:10

just look at who they share their good news with.'

1:01:101:01:13

What's the matter?

1:01:181:01:20

It's Spunky.

1:01:201:01:22

'And their bad news.'

1:01:231:01:25

'When you're a kid and your dog dies,

1:01:301:01:34

it's like losing a friend.'

1:01:341:01:36

'But when you're an adult and you lose a dog you had as a kid,

1:01:411:01:46

it's like losing a part of yourself.'

1:01:461:01:49

11 years ago... Can you believe it?

1:01:501:01:53

That's a long time.

1:01:531:01:55

-Remember when we found him here?

-Seems like it was just yesterday.

1:01:551:02:00

I guess he had a good run.

1:02:001:02:02

Good run? Come on! It was like fuckin' Rasputin!

1:02:021:02:07

That's true!

1:02:071:02:08

He survived it all.

1:02:091:02:11

Mob hits, BB gun... He got bit by a squirrel once.

1:02:111:02:16

-Your mother's cooking!

-Ho-ho-ho-ho. Wait a minute.

1:02:161:02:19

-Wasn't your mother cooking lasagne when we left?

-So?

1:02:191:02:23

So that's it - he probably committed suicide!

1:02:231:02:25

(LAUGHS) Nah! Spunky would never take the coward's way out!

1:02:251:02:30

-Definitely would've left a note.

-Aw!

1:02:321:02:34

Don't worry about it, my friend. He's in a better place.

1:02:341:02:37

In dog heaven. Where it's all bones, cats, and fire hydrants.

1:02:371:02:42

I thought you didn't believe in God.

1:02:421:02:45

I never said I didn't believe.

1:02:451:02:48

I just think he's got a fucked-up sense of humour.

1:02:481:02:52

To Spunky.

1:02:521:02:54

Take care of my dog.

1:03:111:03:13

'The final exam for my poli-sci class turned out to be a breeze.'

1:03:201:03:23

'Three essays on the constitution I was actually prepared to answer.'

1:03:231:03:28

'It's amazing what a little studying will do.'

1:03:281:03:30

-Piece of cake!

-I think I did really well!

1:03:441:03:48

Ellen!

1:03:481:03:50

-Hey.

-Hi.

1:03:521:03:54

-Can I talk to you?

-Yeah.

1:03:541:03:57

-How'd you do?

-Pretty good, I guess.

1:04:001:04:03

-You?

-Good, good.

1:04:031:04:06

You'd have been proud of me. I actually studied! (LAUGHS)

1:04:061:04:10

-How did it feel?

-Er, different!

1:04:101:04:15

-How's the, er...?

-Ah, it's good. I hardly even feel it any more.

1:04:161:04:20

-That's good.

-Mmm.

1:04:201:04:23

So... (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

1:04:251:04:29

I, er, got into law school.

1:04:291:04:30

-Congratulations. That's great.

-Yeah!

1:04:301:04:34

It's Fordham, so it's pretty good.

1:04:341:04:38

(SIGHS) Ellen, I...

1:04:421:04:45

-I'm really sorry about what happened.

-No, I'm sorry too.

1:04:461:04:49

I said a lot of things that I shouldn't have.

1:04:491:04:52

It's OK. I'm glad you did.

1:04:521:04:55

Hey.

1:04:571:04:58

Maybe we should start over.

1:04:591:05:02

Yeah!

1:05:031:05:05

Come here.

1:05:051:05:07

-What?

-Nothing.

1:05:311:05:33

(LAUGHS)

1:05:331:05:35

I was just wondering what you were like as a little boy.

1:05:351:05:39

I don't know.

1:05:401:05:42

Shorter.

1:05:421:05:44

-And a real smartass, I bet.

-Nah.

1:05:461:05:49

-Is that your dad?

-Yeah, before I was born.

1:05:541:05:59

How old were you when he died? Seven. My God!

1:05:591:06:03

-What happened?

-Car accident.

1:06:031:06:07

We bought this place upstate.

1:06:071:06:10

He was driving home from fixin' it up,

1:06:101:06:13

getting ready to move us up there.

1:06:131:06:15

He was in a coma for a month.

1:06:181:06:21

He died the day before my first Communion.

1:06:231:06:26

I'm sorry.

1:06:271:06:29

-You wanna watch TV?

-Yeah, if you want.

1:06:341:06:39

-What time is?

-Mm...

1:06:421:06:45

It's five after eight.

1:06:451:06:47

-Oh, wow.

-What? What's wrong?

1:06:481:06:50

No-Nothin'. I just almost forgot.

1:06:501:06:54

Bobby's poppin' the question tonight.

1:06:541:06:56

-It's their two-year anniversary.

-That's so sweet.

1:06:561:06:59

-Yeah, it's great. I just hope she says yes!

-Of course she'll say yes.

1:06:591:07:03

I don't know. (LAUGHS)

1:07:031:07:06

(ALL CHEER)

1:07:061:07:09

When he got down on one knee, I didn't know what he was doing!

1:07:091:07:12

-She thought I dropped my fork.

-And then I saw the ring!

1:07:121:07:15

Come on, let's see.

1:07:151:07:17

Ooh!

1:07:171:07:20

Oh, it's beautiful.

1:07:201:07:21

-Congratulations.

-Thank you.

1:07:211:07:23

I finally have a daughter.

1:07:231:07:25

Moo-tay Chateau. The best.

1:07:251:07:28

-Alright, everybody, a toast. Mike.

-To the happy couple.

1:07:281:07:33

'What we didn't know was at the same time in Manhattan,

1:07:331:07:36

-a different type of party was going on.'

-"..the news with Tom Brokaw."

1:07:361:07:40

"The murder of the most powerful crime boss in the country

1:07:401:07:43

has touched off a struggle for power in the shadowy world of the Mafia,

1:07:431:07:47

and there is talk tonight of an all-out Mob war."

1:07:471:07:50

"The dead Godfather, Paul Castellano,

1:07:501:07:52

and his bodyguard were gunned down as they stepped from their limo

1:07:521:07:55

outside a popular New York steakhouse."

1:07:551:07:57

"Authorities say the brutal process of succession is already under way."

1:07:571:08:03

"As Castellano stepped from a limousine,

1:08:031:08:06

he was shot down by three men..."

1:08:061:08:08

(FESTIVE MUSIC) 'Aside from the tension in the neighbourhood

1:08:081:08:12

following the Castellano shooting,

1:08:121:08:14

that Christmas was shaping up to be the best one in a long time.'

1:08:141:08:18

'On Christmas Day, Ellen went with her family to Connecticut,

1:08:181:08:21

and I stayed in Brooklyn with mine.'

1:08:211:08:24

Very touching, Carmine.

1:08:241:08:26

I can see you put a great deal of thought into this.

1:08:261:08:29

You should've bought three of these, so we'd all look like douchebags!

1:08:291:08:33

-At least I didn't get them at gunpoint.

-If you paid for these,

1:08:331:08:36

you're the one that got robbed.

1:08:361:08:39

Ungrateful cocksuckers. Unbelievable.

1:08:391:08:42

Van Halen, 1984.

1:08:471:08:50

What? You said you wanted that!

1:08:501:08:52

-Nah, I did. You should've got me the album.

-Oh, Jesus!

-Trust me,

1:08:521:08:56

-in two years, they won't even make albums any more.

-Well, that sucks.

1:08:561:08:59

-What's the difference?

-You gotta re-buy CDs

1:08:591:09:02

-of albums that you already have. It's a conspiracy.

-A conspiracy?

1:09:021:09:05

He was on the phone with Angelo's for 20 minutes the other night,

1:09:051:09:09

-arguing about the delivery fees.

-That's another scam!

-Baby!

1:09:091:09:14

Relax, OK?

1:09:141:09:15

OK, that's enough. Can we go now, please. Have a drink?

1:09:151:09:19

-Let's go to the temple, play some blackjack.

-Temple's closed.

1:09:191:09:22

Everybody's layin' low with this Castellano shit.

1:09:221:09:24

-I thought that was over.

-Over? It's only the beginning.

1:09:241:09:28

Fuckin' cannoli in my hair I gotta go fix.

1:09:281:09:31

'As it turned out, Carmine was right.'

1:09:311:09:34

'Over the next few months,

1:09:341:09:36

wise guys perceived as disloyal to Gotti's new regime

1:09:361:09:39

were taken out all over town.'

1:09:391:09:41

'Castellano's murder was just the tip of a very bloody iceberg.'

1:09:491:09:55

'After what seemed like an endless winter,

1:09:581:10:01

spring finally came.'

1:10:011:10:04

-Take care of yourself.

-Thanks. Bye.

1:10:041:10:06

There he is.

1:10:111:10:13

Oh, hey, how you doin'?

1:10:131:10:15

-Let me get a pack of smokes.

-Yeah.

1:10:151:10:18

'That year, it seemed like not a month went by without a Mob hit.'

1:10:181:10:22

Keeping that blade sharp, Mikey?

1:10:241:10:27

'But the truth is, it never really affected me.'

1:10:281:10:32

(SHOTS) What the fuck...?

1:10:321:10:35

'That is, until this guy got it.' (CAR SPEEDS AWAY)

1:10:401:10:44

'Now, I won't lie and say that deep down Caesar was a nice guy

1:10:491:10:52

or had good qualities, or some other bullshit.'

1:10:521:10:56

'The fact is,

1:10:561:10:58

he was a horrible man, a killer.'

1:10:581:11:02

'But as long as I'm being honest, I have to say this...'

1:11:021:11:06

'His death shook me up.'

1:11:061:11:09

'And though he wouldn't admit it, I know it really shook up Carmine.'

1:11:101:11:16

-Hey.

-Hey.

1:11:161:11:19

-How'd you do?

-I think I fucked it up.

1:11:191:11:21

It's the post office test! What'd you do, forget your crayons?

1:11:211:11:25

-They asked some tricky questions.

-Like what?

1:11:251:11:28

-I-I don't know, like addresses and shit.

-(LAUGHS)

1:11:281:11:32

-When do they let you know?

-A couple of weeks.

1:11:321:11:34

I need to pass this, man. This is big for me and Amy.

1:11:341:11:37

I'm sure you did fine.

1:11:371:11:39

Well, if it isn't the Cartwrights!

1:11:391:11:42

Nothin' for me.

1:11:421:11:43

Just a coupla scrambled eggs, a cup of decaf.

1:11:431:11:46

What's the eggs Benedict Arnold?

1:11:461:11:48

Eggs Benedict with bacon instead of ham.

1:11:481:11:52

Oh, so the bacon is, like, being a traitor? That's funny!

1:11:521:11:55

Yeah, I think I'll have that please. And, er, a glass of tomato juice.

1:11:551:12:00

-God's sake, you're giving me cancer already.

-Gotta die from something.

1:12:001:12:04

Alright, look, I need to talk to you guys.

1:12:041:12:07

-It's about the wedding.

-I knew it. Amy's a guy!

1:12:071:12:11

Besides that.

1:12:111:12:12

We've been joking about this all our lives but I need to pick a best man.

1:12:121:12:16

Alright, I know you're having a hard time with this choice,

1:12:161:12:20

so I'll let you off the hook.

1:12:201:12:22

And I mean this from the bottom of my heart.

1:12:221:12:25

I should be the best man. Fuck him.

1:12:251:12:28

I'm serious! My modelling career is over because of him.

1:12:281:12:32

-The guy made me a mutant.

-You can't even see it any more!

1:12:321:12:36

This is what we'll do. This'll be totally fair.

1:12:361:12:38

Saturday night, stroke of midnight, flip a coin.

1:12:381:12:42

Heads, it's Michael. Tails, it's Carmine.

1:12:421:12:45

Fair enough. May the best man win.

1:12:451:12:48

Alright, so what's up with the bridesmaids?

1:12:481:12:52

I don't know. That's Amy's department.

1:12:521:12:54

Well, don't let her pick any fucking skanks. Please?

1:12:541:12:58

You understand?

1:12:581:12:59

(POP MUSIC / GIRLS CHATTER)

1:12:591:13:03

(MUSIC PLAYS LOUDLY)

1:13:031:13:06

A toast to two of the best friends a guy ever had.

1:13:071:13:09

Now if I could just make a couple of friends like that...

1:13:091:13:12

-Salud.

-Salud.

1:13:121:13:14

Whaa! That shit is nasty. We should just do a shot of gasoline.

1:13:171:13:22

Yeah, then we could save money, you cheap prick.

1:13:221:13:25

Uh-oh. Mikey,

1:13:261:13:29

look at that Spanish chick. Look at that.

1:13:291:13:33

-You should've wore your bullfightin' outfit.

-Jealousy can be so ugly.

1:13:331:13:37

Get 'em.

1:13:371:13:38

Alright, I'm gonna go take a piss.

1:13:391:13:42

-That'll be nine dollars. For tequila?

-Nine dollars.

1:13:441:13:49

Can I see the bill?

1:13:491:13:50

Hey, buddy.

1:13:531:13:55

How you doin'?

1:13:561:13:58

Good.

1:13:591:14:01

Sorry to hear about your guy, Caesar.

1:14:011:14:03

Thanks.

1:14:031:14:05

End up fucking dead like that, that's a shame.

1:14:051:14:09

You gotta be careful who you cross in this town. Know what I mean?

1:14:091:14:13

Yeah.

1:14:141:14:16

Take care, now.

1:14:181:14:20

We need to talk.

1:14:211:14:23

Ho, Mikey. This is Rosie.

1:14:231:14:26

Yeah, hi. I need to talk to you now.

1:14:261:14:29

Can you give me one second, please? Please, one second to talk.

1:14:291:14:33

-Are you kidding me?

-That maniac is here.

-Who, what maniac?

-Gino.

1:14:331:14:38

-Aw, you're fucking kidding me.

-What should we do?

-(SIGHS)

1:14:381:14:42

Nothin'. Fuck him. The kid's a fucking piece of shit.

1:14:421:14:45

-He's not gonna do anything here.

-I don't know, Carmine.

1:14:451:14:48

(SIGHS) Maybe you should go. Grab Bobby. Get out of here.

1:14:491:14:53

-I'm not gonna leave you here alone.

-I'm gonna go home with that girl.

1:14:531:14:56

Some of Philly's guys are in the back.

1:14:561:14:58

-I thought you were done with those guys.

-I am, I'm just saying.

1:14:581:15:02

-It's fine. Go.

-You're sure?

-I'm positive.

1:15:021:15:06

-Come on.

-Alright.

-Go ahead.

1:15:061:15:09

-Call me later.

-I will.

-Call me.

-I will.

1:15:091:15:12

-Come on, let's get out of here.

-We just got here.

-I know. Let's go.

1:15:121:15:16

-Is everything alright?

-It's fine. I'm just tired. Come on.

1:15:161:15:19

Excuse me!

1:15:221:15:23

(ELECTRO MUSIC)

1:15:231:15:25

(BASSLINE THUMPS / CHATTER)

1:15:261:15:29

What's the matter?

1:15:291:15:30

I must be drunk. I can't believe I let you talk me into the valet.

1:15:301:15:34

I can get in myself, alright?

1:15:441:15:47

(ENGINE REVS)

1:15:531:15:56

-What the fuck is wrong with this car?

-You're, er,

1:15:571:16:00

-you're still in neutral there, Mr Andretti!

-(TUTS)

1:16:001:16:04

-You know what? Let me drive.

-I'm fine.

1:16:041:16:07

You're shitfaced. Let me drive.

1:16:071:16:09

Ow! Fuck!

1:16:131:16:15

(RADIO PLAYS QUIETLY)

1:16:201:16:22

It's almost midnight. We're supposed to flip for best man.

1:16:231:16:26

Ah, we'll do it in the morning.

1:16:261:16:28

Pull over. I wanna say a prayer.

1:16:291:16:32

-Will you stop with that?

-Come on!

1:16:321:16:34

-Do it from the car, OK?

-OK.

1:16:341:16:38

Alright, let's get this over with.

1:16:431:16:46

-Make it fast, alright?

-Yeah.

1:16:471:16:49

Oh! I still look for my crucifix.

1:16:491:16:54

-(SCREAMS)

-Jesus!

1:16:541:16:56

-Hang on, man!

-(MAN) Call the police!

-You're gonna be OK!

1:16:561:16:59

-Bobby!

-Mike...

1:17:011:17:04

Jesus Christ!

1:17:041:17:07

Call an ambulance!

1:17:081:17:10

Bobby, you'll be OK.

1:17:101:17:12

Call a fuckin' ambulance!

1:17:121:17:15

-(GASPS FOR BREATH)

-Bobby? Stay with me, Bobby.

1:17:151:17:19

Bobby!

1:17:191:17:20

-It's gonna be OK.

-(GASPS)

1:17:201:17:24

Bobby, Bobby, Bobby! Stay with me, man.

1:17:241:17:27

Come on, Bobby. You're gonna be OK.

1:17:271:17:30

Come on...

1:17:301:17:31

Jesus Christ!

1:17:311:17:33

-What happened?

-Bobby!

1:17:331:17:35

Bobby, look at me, buddy. Open your fuckin' eyes.

1:17:351:17:37

-You're not gonna die on me.

-He's not dying!

1:17:371:17:39

Don't you die. Don't you fucking die!

1:17:391:17:41

-I can't!

-Come on, you're alright.

1:17:411:17:44

-You can't what?

-I can't!

1:17:441:17:46

-Call a fucking ambulance!

-They're on their way!

1:17:461:17:48

-Amy...

-Bobby, what are you looking at? Stop fuckin' looking at her.

1:17:481:17:53

-Look at me.

-Bobby.

-Look at me, Bobby.

-Amy...

1:17:531:17:56

Amy's gonna come see you in the hospital.

1:17:561:17:59

Come on, buddy. Look at me. Look at me.

1:17:591:18:01

-I'm sorry.

-Just hang in there!

1:18:011:18:04

I'm sorry.

1:18:041:18:06

-No, no, no!

-It's OK.

-No, no, no, no, no!

-It's OK.

1:18:061:18:10

-Bobby?

-You're alright, buddy.

-(WHEEZES)

1:18:101:18:14

-Bobby.

-Come on.

1:18:161:18:18

-Bobby!

-What are you doin'?

1:18:181:18:21

The fuck are you doing, buddy? Come on!

1:18:211:18:24

(SIRENS WAIL IN DISTANCE)

1:18:281:18:30

Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust,

1:19:001:19:05

in sure and certain hope of the resurrection unto eternal life

1:19:051:19:08

through Our Lord, Jesus Christ,

1:19:081:19:10

and whose coming in glorious majesty to judge the world,

1:19:101:19:14

and the earth and the sea shall give up their dead,

1:19:141:19:18

and the corruptible bodies of those who sleep in him

1:19:181:19:22

shall be changed and made like unto His own glorious body,

1:19:221:19:26

according to the mighty working,

1:19:261:19:28

whereby he's able to subdue all things unto Himself.

1:19:281:19:32

In the name of The Father, of The Son

1:19:321:19:35

and of The Holy Spirit. Amen.

1:19:351:19:37

'Maybe it was denial,

1:19:371:19:39

or maybe it was a callousness you develop growing up on the street,

1:19:391:19:43

but whatever it was,

1:19:431:19:46

it allowed me and Carmine to watch our best friend get buried

1:19:461:19:49

and not shed a single tear.'

1:19:491:19:52

(SOMBRE VOICES)

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(QUIET WEEPING)

1:19:581:20:00

Coffee's fresh, anybody wants.

1:20:081:20:10

Can I get you anything?

1:20:101:20:13

No, thank you.

1:20:131:20:15

I cannot believe that they buried him in that fuckin' suit.

1:20:151:20:20

Ah, it looked OK.

1:20:201:20:21

Single-breasted, he looked like you. He looked like... an accountant.

1:20:211:20:27

At least his hair looked nice. That's good.

1:20:281:20:31

-Made me happy.

-(DOORBELL)

1:20:311:20:34

It's just the mail.

1:20:361:20:38

Post Office test. Should we open it?

1:20:471:20:50

Yeah, alright, man.

1:20:501:20:53

I don't fuckin' believe this.

1:21:021:21:04

He failed.

1:21:041:21:06

How is that possible?

1:21:071:21:10

-I don't know!

-Have you seen the imbeciles they got at that place?

1:21:101:21:14

-Mental patients.

-Monkeys.

1:21:141:21:17

There are monkeys who could literally pass this test.

1:21:171:21:20

(GIGGLES) He was a genius with some stuff.

1:21:201:21:23

Like what? Movies?

1:21:231:21:26

Wheel Of Fortune.

1:21:261:21:28

Pac-Man. He was good at Pac-Man!

1:21:281:21:30

I know.

1:21:301:21:32

-He was like an idiot savant.

-Yeah! An idiot savant!

1:21:331:21:37

A little heavier on the idiot part, I think.

1:21:371:21:39

-(STIFLES SOB)

-Don't start, OK?

1:21:441:21:48

-Let's not do this.

-(SNIFFS)

1:21:491:21:53

(LAUGHING)

1:22:041:22:07

16 years old, and he's negotiating the price of a blowjob!

1:22:071:22:10

I thought they were gonna throw us the fuck out!

1:22:101:22:13

-he did get the price down, though.

-Yes, he did.

1:22:131:22:15

Hey, how about that time we were garage hopping?

1:22:151:22:18

-Oh, and he fell through the fuckin' roof.

-(LAUGHS)

1:22:181:22:21

-I thought I was gonna piss myself!

-Stupid fuck!

1:22:211:22:25

Ah!

1:22:251:22:26

He was the best.

1:22:261:22:29

You got that right.

1:22:291:22:32

I didn't even say a prayer for him...

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at the wake.

1:22:381:22:39

I just kneeled there.

1:22:401:22:43

I couldn't do it.

1:22:461:22:48

(SIGHS) He'd understand.

1:22:491:22:53

When my father was in the hospital,

1:22:551:22:58

I prayed for him every day.

1:22:581:23:01

He fuckin' died anyway.

1:23:051:23:08

(TRAIN RATTLES PAST)

1:23:091:23:11

-Have you talked to that detective again?

-Yeah.

1:23:251:23:29

You?

1:23:291:23:31

Yeah, what'd you say?

1:23:311:23:33

Same as before. Nothing.

1:23:331:23:36

-What about you?

-Nothin'.

1:23:361:23:38

(CLEARS THROAT)

1:23:401:23:42

You know, we, er, we could just tell him the truth.

1:23:431:23:47

Yeah.

1:23:491:23:50

We could.

1:23:511:23:53

Yeah.

1:23:531:23:54

-Those were my bullets, Carmine.

-Yeah, I know.

1:23:581:24:02

I know that, Mike.

1:24:041:24:06

Where do you think he is?

1:24:071:24:09

In heaven. How the fuck do I know where he is?

1:24:111:24:13

Not him.

1:24:131:24:15

Gino.

1:24:151:24:17

Oh.

1:24:211:24:23

Philly knows where we could find him.

1:24:281:24:31

You know, he never got to pick a best man.

1:24:361:24:39

It's a coin toss, you know. It could have been either one of us.

1:24:391:24:43

You free tomorrow night?

1:24:491:24:51

I'll tell Ellen something came up.

1:24:511:24:54

So, we are talking about the same thing?

1:24:541:24:56

You know, for all the times we broke his balls,

1:25:081:25:11

we never told him we loved him.

1:25:111:25:14

He knew we did. He knew.

1:25:141:25:17

I fuckin' hope so.

1:25:191:25:21

Yeah.

1:25:231:25:25

-Hey!

-(WEAPON CLATTERS)

1:25:501:25:52

You ready?

1:26:401:26:42

How about you, you fucking cocksucker, you ready?

1:26:421:26:45

Come here. Get up. Get up.

1:26:461:26:48

Pick your fuckin' head up. I said pick it up!

1:26:541:26:58

You're sure you wanna do this?

1:26:581:27:00

Yeah.

1:27:001:27:02

For the best man...

1:27:051:27:08

Heads, it's me. Tails, it's you.

1:27:081:27:12

Heads.

1:27:241:27:26

What the fuck did you do?

1:27:261:27:28

-It was me.

-Come here.

-It was heads!

-Calm down, Mike.

1:27:281:27:33

Listen to me.

1:27:331:27:34

Listen to me, Mike. Listen to me.

1:27:341:27:37

They got law schools in California, alright?

1:27:381:27:40

Get the fuck outta here.

1:27:401:27:42

Alright? Take that little girl and go, Mike.

1:27:421:27:46

Get the fuck outta here.

1:27:461:27:49

Come here!

1:27:501:27:52

'In a strange way, I felt angry at Carmine,

1:27:541:27:59

like he cheated me out of avenging Bobby's death.'

1:27:591:28:02

'I eventually came to realise

1:28:031:28:05

it was the most selfless thing he had ever done.'

1:28:051:28:09

'Until that night, I never really thought I'd leave Brooklyn.'

1:28:101:28:14

'I could never imagine being apart from my friends.'

1:28:141:28:17

'But that summer, I moved to California with Ellen.'

1:28:171:28:22

'Carmine and I kept in touch, but...

1:28:231:28:26

we didn't see each other for years.'

1:28:261:28:29

'Then one day, I got a call.'

1:28:311:28:35

O, give thanks to The Lord, for He is good.

1:28:411:28:45

His steadfast love endureth forever.

1:28:451:28:48

The Lord is my strength and my song.

1:28:481:28:51

Do you have the ring?

1:28:521:28:55

You may kiss the bride.

1:29:101:29:13

'Though years had passed and we were thousands of miles away,

1:29:201:29:24

in church that day, I realised something.'

1:29:241:29:27

'When you have friends, real friends,

1:29:271:29:32

it doesn't matter if they're here or there, living or dead.'

1:29:321:29:36

'No matter where you go,

1:29:361:29:38

you always take them with you.'

1:29:381:29:41

'In your heart.'

1:29:411:29:43

# "Walk Of Life" - Dire Straits

1:29:431:29:46

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1:29:491:29:51

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