Tender Comrade

CLASSICAL MUSIC ON RADIO

MUSIC: "Symphony No.40 In G Minor" by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Good night, dear.

SHE TURNS OFF RADIO

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Yes?

KNOCKING CONTINUES

Yes?

Chris!

Oh, Chris!

Oh, Chris...I can't say anything.

Neither can I.

It's kind of...

Kind of funny, isn't it?

Yeah.

Aw, you big baby.

Oh, Jo, I'm home.

It's good to be home.

It's not so much like the place at Shale City.

You're here.

So it's home.

Let me take a look at you.

Same eyes.

Same nose.

Same funny little mouth.

Same girl.

Oh, Chris.

How long can you stay?

We're leaving at 6:30 in the morning.

-Our outfit's going overseas.

-Oh, Chris, where?

How do I know? Am I the Secretary Of War?

I always said it wouldn't happen and I knew it would.

-I knew it would!

-Hey, this is no funeral!

I'm your husband. I'm home for the night.

I want a hot bath, a cold drink.

And a kiss.

I'll have the bath first. About 75 degrees. Make it snappy.

ALARM RINGS

Wake up, Chris!

HE MUTTERS

Your train leaves in an hour and a half.

It's time to wake up, Chris.

Huh?

SHE HUMS REVEILLE

I must have been dreaming.

OK. I'll be right up.

Hey, cut it out!

Let me go.

Let me go!

Not till you give me a kiss.

All right.

Mushy.

How long have you been up?

Since three.

I slept in the chair.

What was the idea of that?

Well, I either had to get up or be kicked out.

You're an awful bed hog. I thought the army would cure you.

Boy, oh, boy.

Do you know what I'm going to do after this war is over?

I'm going to concentrate on being a civilian.

I'm going to sleep every morning till 10.

I'm never going to move from one place to another except on wheels.

-What are you looking at me like that for?

-Nothing.

Except, of all the guys I could have married...

Yeah, so what?

I'll never figure out how I picked out the homeliest one.

Oh. So that's the kind of talk a soldier gets on his farewell, huh?

Now, Chris... No, no, no! Chris, don't you touch me!

THEY SQUABBLE PLAYFULLY

FLY BUZZES

I bet I know what you're thinking of.

-What?

-You're thinking about the note I wrote

in chemistry class in high school.

Why...

Isn't that right?

Yeah. But, how did you know?

You were sitting two rows away from me.

I wrote the note and gave it to Jane Wilkinson who gave it to you.

Mr Hill caught you just as you were opening it and got you to stand up.

He told you to read it to the class.

So you waited a minute and then put it in your mouth and swallowed it.

And that's what you were thinking about.

Yeah. But I still don't see how YOU knew what it was.

Oh, that's easy.

While you were standing there not knowing what to do,

there was a bluebottle buzzing against the window pane.

Everyone was quiet, waiting to see what you'd do.

The only noise was the buzzing.

So, when that fly up there began to buzz,

-both of us thought about the note.

-That's wonderful, Chris.

What does it mean when two people think about the same things?

It just means they're in love.

Mm.

Chris.

-Yeah?

-What did you say in that note?

You know, I never got a chance to read it.

You'll never know.

Aw, Chris, please!

-No.

-Why not?

Because I don't remember.

-You do too!

-OK, I do. I remember every word of it.

Well, then, why won't you tell me?

Because it was so sappy. Besides, you got enough on me already.

Come on. We'd better get out of here or I'll be AWOL.

Oh, here.

Well, we didn't get here any too soon, did we?

-Chris, I'm scared.

-Oh, that's silly, Jo, girl.

Nothing's going to happen.

But you're going overseas and I don't even know where.

Nothing's going to happen.

You figure out the percentages when you got a little extra time.

-They're all in my favour.

-I know.

Holy mackerel, I'm sure going to miss you.

I know, Jo, but that's not the thing to think about.

You just think how it's going to be when I come home.

There'll be a train just like this one.

I'll jump off and pick you up.

Kiss you a hundred times and take you back to Shale City.

Shale City's much prettier than Los Angeles.

Tell me more.

Well, there's nothing much more to tell.

You'll be holding my job for me and we'll go ahead with our plans.

Everything will be the same. Except I'll be crazier about you,

because I've been away from you for a little while.

We'll go back to Shale City and get a place on the edge of town.

I'll build a barbecue and on weekend nights

we can ask Harvey and Jane and the others over.

I'll barbecue while you do the salad.

Uh-huh. And we can sleep late on Sunday mornings.

As late as we want. Maybe all day.

Boy, will that be a relief after this five o'clock routine!

Oh, you've never been one to get up whether it's five o'clock or noon!

-It's you that's always lying around till the last dog's hung.

-Liar!

There's another thing we'll be able to have after this is all over.

What's that?

GUARD: All aboard!

We'll have ourselves that kid.

A big back yard with a vegetable patch in it.

A place for him to play.

It's a funny thing. I never thought I'd ever want a kid.

Until I married you.

Well, you weren't supposed to, you big lug.

Another thing about that place, we'll find out if it's zoned

so we can have chickens, enough for a few eggs.

I want an herb garden with parsley and chives.

GUARD: Last call! All aboard!

I love you, Jo.

The way I love you is like a fever that's all over me.

Write me, baby. Write me whenever you can.

Everything will turn out all right.

I'll write you every day.

Every minute, every second, I'll be sending you messages.

Watch yourself if you catch a cold. You know how they sneak up.

Ignore those English or Australian or Chinese girls.

And come back to me, Chris. As soon as you can.

No matter how tough things are...

No matter how bad they seem...

All I'll have to do is think of you and I'll come through.

Goodbye, girl.

Goodbye, Chris. Bye-bye.

MUSIC: "When Johnny Comes Marching Home"

TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

My name is Mrs Henderson.

Hello, Barbara.

Hello.

Headache, dear?

Hangover. A fourteen-ton hangover.

I'll never learn.

-Morning, kids.

-Hello, Jo.

Hello.

You look like something the cat dragged in and dragged out again.

-You don't look good yourself.

-Your eyes are swollen.

-I know. I've been bawling.

-What's the matter, honey?

Chris got in last night.

We had dinner together and breakfast this morning

and I saw him off at six.

-And I bawled.

-But how wonderful to have seen him. How is he?

He's OK. He's leaving for overseas duty.

It's funny when you think about it. I don't even know which sea.

Jo, we're not supposed to say anything about troop movements.

I know. I'm sorry.

But it ought to be safe enough here.

Everybody but you has a husband in the service.

Yes.

Doris White! What have you got on your finger?

Just a wedding ring and an engagement ring.

-Doris! When did it happen?

-The little chump!

I knew she'd pull a trick like that!

Tell us about it, Doris. >

There isn't much to tell. He just got in town for an hour.

It took him 45 minutes to propose.

We got married and I took him to the train.

-That's swell.

-What's your new name?

Dumbrowski.

You traded a name like White for Dumbrow...ski?

That guy must have a lot on the ball.

What's wrong with Dumbrowski?

Nothing. It's just hard to pronounce in my condition.

What's his first name? Michael.

Only, everybody calls him Mike. He's tall and good looking.

You say you went right from the preacher's to the train?

Hmm.

How about that date we've been talking about?

I got no time for you lunch-stand Romeos.

When you're ready to talk Coconut Grove, I'll listen.

I can't get romantic over a bowl of chilli beans.

-I'll try when your eyes aren't bloodshot.

-Dye your hair

and come back disguised as a young wolf.

These senior citizens!

You're leading him on.

To what? A 35-cent blue-plate special?

I can't blame him for being cheap.

-He's got a wife and two kids to support.

-Barbara!

They don't like him any more than I do.

They moved out on him three years ago. I don't blame 'em.

-All the same, you date men.

-Sure. Why not?

I shouldn't think you'd feel right with Pete in the navy.

-I wouldn't.

-You haven't had a chance.

If you'd had the trouble I've had with Pete,

you'd sing a different tune.

No sense of responsibility. No...nothing.

He had enough sense to join the navy.

Mike joined after Pearl Harbour.

Pete volunteered three years before that.

That's what I'm mad about.

He fell for that girl-in-every-port stuff.

Only I bet for him it works.

Why don't we all get together

and throw a party for the new bride?

Initiate her into War Widows Local No.37.

Nobody's got a room big enough for four people.

Maybe we could have it at my new place.

That is, I'm hunting for a new one.

Just in case Mike gets a furlough.

You know, a bedroom and a living room.

-How much are you planning to pay?

-I'm paying 20.

-For 35 I'll get something nice.

-It will still be a rabbit hutch.

We put down a lot of money each month for rent.

-What do you pay, Helen?

-22.50.

-I pay 18. How about you, Barbara?

-£32.50. I like gaudy things.

0, 5, 10. One to carry. 8, 9, 11, 13.

3, 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 9.

93 bucks! How do you like that! 93 bucks for a bunch of rat holes.

For that, we could have a house,

with a dining room, a kitchen, a living room and a bedroom apiece.

-And furnished.

-How?

-Just as well as what you have now.

-With a fireplace.

I'm so sick of warming my feet in front of a gas jet.

I could cry when I see one.

What do you think?

It might work.

But it's only fair to point out that we're all different.

They're might be a clash of personalities.

We'd have to find a way of adjusting disputes.

That ought to be simple. We could take a vote.

We could run it like a democracy.

If anything comes up, we'll call a meeting.

Kids, that would be wonderful.

Now, the four of us here have two cars.

Two sets of tyres wearing out.

We could sell one and use the other on a share-and-share-alike basis.

We could do lots of things.

How about it? Let's take a vote. Everyone in favour, say aye.

-ALL EXCEPT BARBARA SAY AYE

-What about you?

-Well, say aye.

-Aye.

-The motion is carried.

-HOOTER

Look, we'll all get together this afternoon and start hunting.

Well, here we are.

-Well, naturally it will take some brightening up.

-It's very nice.

Santa Claus will have to turn into a snake to get down here.

Maybe it isn't as small as you think.

I've seen moths chew bigger holes.

My advice now is for all of us to get some sleep.

Me too. I've never looked at so many empty houses in my life.

I think I'll take this old bag up to bed.

Hey! Brave steps when you go up that stairway. Looks tired.

Wait for baby!

Oh, I'm sorry, I...

Oh, that's all right. Come on in.

Well...were you through?

Mm-hm.

Were you praying for him?

Yes.

I just thought you might be feeling kind of lonesome.

Oh, well, I guess I was.

Yeah, I know. I know how I felt when I first got married.

Maybe so. You see, I'm not exactly married.

I've just got a first mortgage on it!

Well, tell me about him. Go on, it's fun to talk. Is he cute?

Oh, I know this sounds silly but he's the cutest thing you ever saw.

-Tall.

-5ft 10 and a quarter.

Oh... That's a perfect height for us.

We wouldn't look well together if he were any taller.

Blonde or brunette?

Kind of brunette, I think.

He has black hair and deep blue eyes.

That makes him a brunette, doesn't it?

Baby, that makes him a knockout in any shade.

-Have you got a picture?

-Yes, I have.

Oh, you see, he was an orphan

and that's the last picture his parents had made of him.

We wanted to have wedding pictures made but we didn't have time.

If your first boy is as good looking as that,

you'll have nothing to worry about. Where did you meet him?

On the streetcar.

About six months ago.

-What did he say when he proposed?

-Oh, do you think I really should?

How are you going to know you're married if you don't discuss it?

-Go on. It's fun!

-He swept me right off my feet.

Go on. Go on.

Well, we sat around The Pig And Whistle

and he told me about his folks, and his friends, and the army.

Then he got kind of red

and uncomfortable and he said,

"I don't feel so good.

"Let's go out and get some air."

I said, "What's the matter?"

And he said, "I don't know.

"I just haven't got any appetite."

I said, well, "Maybe you're in love or something."

And he said, "Well, maybe I am."

And I said, "Well, there's a cure for that."

And he said, "What?"

And I said, "You could tell her about it, and maybe get married..."

He said, "Well, I don't know whether she'd have me or not."

And I said, "Of course I will!"

And then we just looked.

I said, "That's the most beautiful proposal

"a girl's ever had."

And then he got that, you know,

that sort of smug look that they get,

and he said, "Doris. I never thought I'd ever have the nerve to say it."

Gee, aren't men fools?

Yes. But aren't they sweet?

Mm-hm.

Well...

I'd better go to bed

if there's going to be any cleaning done tomorrow.

-Feel better?

-Mm-hm.

-Good night.

Good night.

Sweet dreams.

Good night, you sea-going Casanova.

Good night, Lieutenant.

Good night...my little captain.

Hello, you sweet guy.

Remember me?

I'm the girl who almost didn't marry you.

# You made me love you

# And all the time you knew it

# I guess you always knew it

# You made me happy...

MAN WHISTLES TUNE

# ..sometimes You made me sad #

WHISTLING

-How's my babe this morning?

-All right. Don't call me Babe.

Why not?

Cos it's not very respectful.

You lug.

You know...

I've been thinking.

There you go exaggerating again.

I've been thinking and it seems to me that...we ought to be married.

What did you say just then?

Well, I just said maybe we ought to get married.

Well, if you haven't the nerve of a government mule. I must say...

What's wrong?

Everything's wrong, that's all. Everything.

What about last night? Don't say you've forgotten last night?

-What about last night?

-You've just got the wrong girl.

Me! I'm Jo Flanagan. Remember?

Last night you spent all your time dancing with Linda Randall.

I danced three times with Linda.

At the Hendersons', it was Mady Saunders...

-Hey, I hardly know Mady Saunders.

-Don't "Hey" me!

You dance and flirt with other girls.

Then when you feel your years creeping over you,

-it's back to good old Jo.

-What do you mean?

I've been free to do as I please! As for coming back, I never left!

Quit shouting, Chris Jones! It's a fine way to propose.

Yelling at me like I'm a fish wife.

-I was trying to say...

-I know what you were saying.

-After wolfing around every girl...

-I didn't wolf!

-You did so!

You're a wolf! What happened to all the others? They turn you down?

I never proposed to anybody but you.

A fine proposal. Make everybody miserable all the time.

If you would just...

Oh, why don't you go home and leave me alone?

Doggone it, Jo. I haven't made anybody miserable.

-You have too!

-Who?

Me!

You darn fool.

Now, look, Jo. I didn't come around to get into a fight.

Ever since I've known you, ever since we were kids,

I guess I've been in love with you.

It seemed like a nice, sunny morning and I thought to myself,

I guess I'll drop by Jo's house and tell her I love her.

And ask her to marry me.

That's all there is to it.

Well... Why didn't you tell me this before?

Why did you have to keep it a secret all these years?

Because I didn't know, I guess.

Know what?

That I was in love with you.

Well, I like that, Chris Jones!

That's just fine and dandy(!)

-You've been stringing me along all these years?

-I haven't!

Tell me this, Mr Wolf...

Why have you been hanging around

-if you didn't know if you were in love with me?

-I liked you.

You wanted me to be a sister to you, huh? Pals!

Lead you round by the hand, keep your nose dry...

Will you stop picking on me?

I never saw a girl as hard to propose to as you!

Aha! So...

-I thought you never proposed to any other girl before?

-I never did.

How do you know you never saw a girl so hard to propose to?

That's just the way you say something you don't mean.

Maybe all this is just another way of saying something you don't mean.

I don't know why we're having all this trouble.

Because a girl likes to plan on things.

If a girl's going to be in love, she wants to be 100% in it.

With a tight-mouth clam like you, she's never safe.

She can't act like she's in love

cos she never knows how the guy feels.

She can't come out with it,

and she can't even get a kick out of it because...

he may not be in love with her,

and she'll be making an idiot out of herself.

That's what makes me so darn sore, Chris, you and your old secrets.

Shut up! I'm sick of hearing you holler like that.

-What a grab you're going to be in five years!

-Am not.

-I said, "Shut up." Are you going to?

-OK.

I have one question. You can answer with one word.

This is the only time I'll ask.

Say it, one word and no more. Will you marry me?

Yes.

That's what I thought.

That's what you knew, you darn fool.

That's what you've always known.

That's what's always made me so darn sore.

Jo, I think I've been loving you

since the time you hit me on the forehead with a clinker.

That was a slip. I only meant to scare you.

I've loved you ever since you cut my hair off, remember?

Gee, was Mom sore.

So was I, after the old man got through with me.

Then there was the time we went to the freshman dance.

You were the prettiest girl I ever saw that night.

Uh-huh.

That was my first date.

You spent all your time dancing with the other girls.

I still would only they're all married.

And you're all tied up, my lad.

Now, if you even look sidewise at a girl,

I'll hit you with an axe handle.

It seems good, doesn't it?

It seems wonderful.

Hey, what's the big idea?

-Huh?

-You stopped kissing me.

THEY BOTH LAUGH

Well, for goodness' sakes.

It's all right, Mom. He's going to marry me.

-BARBARA:

-Is anybody listening to me?

-What's the matter?

-Another family is in the attic.

HELEN: It's only mice.

They were here before we were.

Then why don't they pay rent?

DORIS: Why don't you all go to sleep?

OK. Meow!

Meow... That'll fix them.

CLATTERING

Oh, Barbara!

-Look, I'm a commando.

-What a mess!

Talk about safety. I'd rather ride a torpedo than a floor mop.

Honestly, haven't any of you ever kept house before?

Nor after, as far as I'm concerned.

Oh, you don't carry a mop crosswise, you carry it lengthwise. See?

-Why didn't I figure that out?

-Tricks of the trade.

I'm just a well-developed halfwit.

I can keep alive but I can't stay on my feet.

HELEN: I'll mop. You beat the rugs on the lawn.

But they won't stand it.

That's what you do when there's no vacuum.

I thought that lady meant vacuum sweeper.

We're going backwards fast - to the nineteenth-century(!)

We'll be hanging from the chandeliers next.

Wait. I've been doing some serious thinking here.

The way it looks to me, housekeeping isn't our racket.

-Whatever gave you that idea?

-And practically none of us can cook.

What was wrong with those eggs?

They weren't cooked, they were vulcanised. That takes effort.

What will we do? Listen to Jo.

We got this house in order to enjoy it.

We work all day. If we have to work more, we might as well go back.

We're stuck with it. I'll beat those rugs until they holler "Uncle!"

What we need is a housekeeper.

-Oh, wouldn't that be wonderful?

-Hear, hear.

What do you think of the idea?

From what I've seen, it's the only idea.

We'll take a vote. Everybody in favour say aye.

ALL: Aye!

-The motion is carried.

-How are we going to get one?

We'll advertise, little goose.

I'll just hold off that rug beating until we see how it works.

-Yes?

-My name is Mrs John Canby Lodge.

-Yes?

-You advertised for a housekeeper?

-Oh, yes. Won't you come in?

-Thank you.

This is Mrs Peter Thomas, Mrs George Stacey,

Mrs Michael Dumbrowski and I'm Mrs Christopher Jones.

This is Mrs John Canby Lodge.

How do you do?

Before I was married, my name was Manya Battenheimer.

You may call me Manya.

Just call me Barbara and we'll forget it.

Barbara... This is Helen, this is Doris and I'm Jo.

Please sit down. Can you dry up?

Thank you.

Well...

Have you had any experience in this kind of work?

I have kept house for my father in Dresden.

He had eight little ones. That gave experience.

Well, have you...

Have you any references?

Nein. In this country, I am just beginning to work...

..to try and get my first employment but I have gone to the university.

That's nice. What school?

Four years at the academy in Dresden

and at the university in Vienna, two years.

She could tutor me on the side.

-You have a room for me?

-Yes, we do have a room.

There are just a few... Helen, you take it from there.

Well, my dear, we'd like to know what your salary will be.

You see, it's like this.

Because I am not a citizen I cannot work in the war plant...

..but you all work in the war plant

and if I help you, I help the war just the same.

-Is that not right?

-I think it is.

And to make it more so,

your husbands are all fighting against the Nazis.

My husband also is in the United States army,

fighting the Nazis, so that makes us one.

How then to talk about money?

If you will show me my room.

Show her the room and see if she likes it.

Right this way, Manya.

Danke schon.

-I honestly felt tears in my eyes.

-She's pretty, isn't she?

-Did she like it?

-She didn't get that far.

She walked into the kitchen, took one look at the stove

and went right to work.

What are we going to do about her?

After what she said about us all being one...

You can't hire a thing like that.

Why don't we take our spare cash and split it five ways?

-She could make more somewhere else.

-I don't think she cares about that.

It's a good idea. Let's vote on it. Everybody in favour say aye.

-ALL: Aye.

-Motion carried. Manya?

-Ja.

-We decided about your salary.

-Oh, that's good.

-Wait a minute. We want to tell you about it.

-Ja.

-We're going to pool our salaries

and we'll pay the rent and expenses

and what's left over we'll split five ways.

You see, we're running this joint like a democracy.

A democracy? Oh, that's good, that's good.

Once in Germany, we had a democracy.

But we...

- You lost it. - Nein, we did not lose it.

We let it be murdered...

..like a little child.

Hi, gang, look what I got to take care of that family in the attic.

Baby!

Let's not pamper him. Hector, you have a job to do.

There's enough fresh meat here to last you the rest of your life.

-Oh, give him back to me.

-OK, no coddling.

-Where have you been?

-I had my hair done.

It's lovely. You have small ears and must show them.

That's the smallest compliment I've ever got.

Two legs, two arms, two eyes and a lot of other stuff,

and you talk about my ears.

-I've got to change.

-Are you going out?

-I have a date.

-With a man?

-As far as I know.

-Who?

-That moth-eaten Don Juan that's been pestering me.

Tonight he'll learn to play with the big girls, Coconut Grove.

-I don't think you should go.

-Neither do I.

For the love of Mike, why not?

-We shouldn't start anything like that.

-Like what?

Like... Like having a bunch of smelly old men

hanging round the house.

He's not old. 42, that's not even Indian summer.

Do what you like. You will anyhow.

But with Pete out there on a ship,

you might at least pretend to play square.

You leave Pete out of this. He's a no-good, woman-chasing dope.

He hasn't written to me for three months.

So if an old goat lays some champagne on the line,

I'm the girl to do it with.

All the same, you'll be sorry.

This is none of your business.

Let's vote. All who want me to take care of my affairs

and you to take care of yours, say aye.

Aye...

You win.

The motion is carried unanimously.

Excuse me while I change my clothes.

You know...

In a way, I guess I don't blame Barbara.

-I get kind of lonesome myself.

-For just any man?

Uh-uh. Just for Chris.

Yeah.

Me too.

MANYA SPEAKS EXCITEDLY IN GERMAN

Manya, Manya, what's the matter?

I'm quitting the butcher. Quit Mr Johnson? Manya, why?

He's black market.

Mr Johnson? There must be some mistake.

No mistake. I tell him I only have cents for one pound of bacon

and to please send me one pound.

He sends me two pounds when I have only stamps for one pound.

Maybe he made a mistake. < No, no mistake.

He sent a note and it says,

"For us he does the favour of one extra pound."

I know he shouldn't but he was just trying to be nice.

Nice to us, but with bacon scarce, is it nice to the other peoples?

Is it nice to my John in the army fighting the Nazis? No.

It is not nice. So I quit him.

But Manya it's such a little thing.

Ja, it's a little thing.

But when little things go, big things follow.

I have seen it in Germany and what happened afterwards.

Instead of quitting Mr Johnson,

why don't you have a talk and tell him not to do it again?

Well, OK. This time I will talk to him but next time I'll report him.

There's not going to be any hoarding of anything in this house,

taking the food out of the mouths of the army...

That's what I'll tell Mr Johnson.

She makes you feel like a spy or something.

She's right but I do think Mr Johnson deserves a warning.

What difference does a pound of bacon make?

It may not make a difference to you

-but anyone who hoards is a heel.

-Forget it.

You know...I think there's something I'm going to have to tell.

I bet this will be wicked(!)

I'm not sure but I...

I think I'm a hoarder.

You? A hoarder?

Yes, it's probably what I am but I started hoarding this thing

long before anyone said they'd be scarce.

Even when I was a little girl, maybe 15,

I'd always buy two instead of one.

Lately, it's getting to be like a vice. I buy three.

Once, I even bought four.

Careful. Silk stockings, remember we wear the same size.

-No, no, it's not stockings. HELEN:

-What is it, then?

I'll get them and show you.

Anybody want a cup of coffee? No, thanks.

I'll take it.

If I drink coffee after dinner, I can't sleep

-so it shouldn't go to waste.

-Thank you.

DORIS: There! HELEN: Lipsticks!

Yes. But you've got dozens.

-127.

-They're even different shades.

I don't get it. You must have a complex.

I don't know. I can't explain it.

Why have you got different shades?

I thought as I got older I'd take lighter shades

so I got different shades.

You're crazy. With all those, you can hold out for 75 years.

It's bad, isn't it?

All that metal and all that grease. It's not good.

What am I going to do with them?

I'm sick of them. They're on my conscience like a guilty secret.

I go round feeling like Lady Macbeth.

Why not take some back to the druggist?

I tried to but they have health laws. He can't take them.

-Write to the government about it.

-I did.

Well, who'd you write to?

The FBI.

What did they say?

The letter's upstairs. They told me to refer the matter to my pastor.

I think it was a joke.

It's enough lip rouge for the duration.

Let's leave it at that. We've had enough lectures.

We're so moral we're afraid to breathe.

That's a funny thing to say.

You know what I mean. Bacon, men, lipstick... Moral, moral.

You'd think we were running a home for... A home.

I suppose you don't think hoarding very important?

Why don't you relax? Do you think we're going to lose this war

on account of lipsticks or bacon?

You know better than that.

If it was just one pound of bacon, no,

but what if millions went out and did the same thing?

I've got enough troubles without worrying about people I don't know.

If you want the truth, rationing's a pain in the neck.

Barbara, you sound like a fifth columnist.

You two jumped on me first.

The minute I came in, you started psalm-singing.

Now I'll tell you something.

I've been listening to this gabble for three weeks and I'm sick of it.

Rationing, sure. I'll hold still for it

but I won't run around saying I like it.

-I never...

-I haven't finished.

This thing wouldn't have happened if we'd minded our own business.

We wouldn't have to ration butter

if they weren't shipping it to a lot of foreigners.

They're rationing gas right here in California.

Even the government doesn't know what to do tomorrow.

They'll ration this, they'll ration that. Blow hot, blow cold.

What kind of business is that?

While we're pushed around at home,

our boys are fighting in countries they never heard of

-for foreigners who'll turn on us when it's over.

-Barbara!

-It's the truth.

-You ought to be ashamed.

Do you know where that comes from? Straight from Berlin.

If you say it, you double cross your own husband.

-Oh...

-How can we go on minding our own business after Pearl Harbour?

And who wants to get fat

when so many are starving for things we can do without?

We make mistakes.

Do you want a country where they won't stand for that?

Go to Germany and Japan.

If you open your trap, you'll get a gun in your stomach.

You're the kind of people Hitler counts on -

talk, talk and never think.

That's the biggest mistake

because there are not enough of you and there are plenty of us and...

-DOOR BELL RINGS

-That's my date.

Saved by the bell.

Well, I think we need a little music.

-Feel better?

-I wish I'd socked her.

-Come in.

-Hello.

I'll run right on up and get my things.

You remember Waldo Pearson.

Helen Stacey...

Doris Dumbrowski and featherweight Jo Jones.

-How do you do.

-'Lo...

The atmosphere's a little thick.

We've been having a small beef just among us girls.

Small beef's better than none these days.

Oh... Make yourself at home.

RADIO: 'We pause for a bulletin.

The navy has reported the loss of the US carrier Yorktown.

'The news has been withheld pending notification of next of kin.

'Four Los Angeles men are missing.

'They are, Lieutenant Howard Christianson, 535 Teller Avenue,

machinist's mate Peter Thomas

'whose wife is believed to be in Los Angeles

'but has not been located.'

Barbara, dear...

I'm all right.

You'd better go.

Sure.

Anything I can do, just let me know.

Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to be an actress.

I guess I've been building my whole life to this moment

only I never expected the timing to be so good.

And on a staircase too...

Oh, why doesn't somebody cut my tongue out when I...

Oh, what's the matter with me?

Why can't I learn to keep my big trap shut?

Well, Chris, I did it again.

I promised I wouldn't but I did.

-Where does this go?

-In the lower left-hand door.

Well, that's done.

-Where are you going?

-The living room. Where else?

-What are you going to do?

-I'm going to sit down.

Read, read, read.

You need a shine.

I'll get at them in the morning.

'The allied world was stunned today by the fall of Belgium.

'Their surrender jeopardises the entire allied position.

'The French are retreating,

'while the British are falling back...'

Darling...

Huh?

-What are you reading?

-A magazine.

I know but what are you reading IN the magazine?

Huh?

Oh, er, an article called, "Will the United States Enter WWII?"

Oh...

Mind if I sit on your lap?

Sure. I can read just as well that way.

-What's this?

-Hm?

This a splinter?

I guess so.

Here, give me your hand.

Ouch!

-Did that hurt?

-Sure, it hurt. It hurt a lot.

-You men. Always whining.

-I'm not whining.

You asked me a question and I answered it.

Oh...

Hey, did you sterilise that needle?

-I might get an infection.

-I never heard such hollering.

I stuck a needle through my foot and didn't make half as big a fuss.

I'm just pointing out that

when you take a needle that long and jab it in a man's hand

it's no good.

-You'll scar me up.

-Scar you up!

-And besides it's unsanitary.

You're a hypochondriac.

How do you like that?

I refuse to get stuck like a pig so she says I'm a hypochondriac.

Hold still.

This is not going to hurt at all.

Ow!

You see? It didn't hurt at all.

No more than if you'd chopped my leg off.

I wish you'd sew buttons on my shirts instead of poking at my hand.

What was that about your shirts?

The shirts are all right. It's the buttons.

-This is the only one with a set.

-Why didn't you say?

The day before yesterday I said,

"Jo, my shirts don't have any buttons."

Don't carry on so. All I did yesterday was scrub the back porch

and clean out the basement and get breakfast and lunch and...

You sound like I was making a slave out of you.

That's what you are doing.

All day long is work, work, day in, day out.

Then the minute you hit the front door

you start yelling about shirt buttons.

I've been home two hours.

I've eaten dinner and helped you with the dishes.

Then you start to rip open my hand

and I just happened to say something about buttons.

You've been building up to it all evening.

I try to keep things going.

Go ahead, get it all off your chest. Think up some more things.

-You want me to?

-Yes.

My suit isn't back from the cleaners

because you didn't send it on time

and my socks are always in the top drawer

and not the middle where I beg you to put them.

And my nightshirt's never on the right hook.

And somebody's been using my razor and it wasn't the cat.

-Is that all?

-It's all for the moment.

Give me more time and I'll think of plenty more.

Including, I suppose, the fact that you never clean the bathtub?

I warned you about that before we were ever married.

I said I hated cleaning out the tub.

You were told in advance and said you didn't care.

That's because I didn't know.

Now I know what you wanted me for. I'm just a substitute housekeeper.

All you want is somebody to work and slave and scrub and cook

and order groceries and do the laundry

and dust the furniture and scrub the bathtub

and sit with her hands folded in the evenings and watch you read.

SHE CRIES

CRYING CONTINUES

LOUDER CRYING

SHE PRETENDS TO CRY

-What are you doing?

-Sewing buttons on your old shirts.

All right, Jo, let's have it.

-Have what?

-Let's have what the trouble is.

There's no trouble.

Come on, if you're sore, I've got a right to know why.

All right, I'll tell you.

It's because I never get to see you any more.

You've only been home to dinner twice this week

and then you sit around and read.

The nights I haven't been home I've been working.

Haven't you got spunk enough to get someone else to do overtime?

Are you a man or a mouse?

-I volunteered for that overtime.

-You volunteered?

-Yeah.

Well, now I am getting mad.

How about thinking less about the company

and more about your wife?

I am. That's why I'm taking on this extra work.

Let's get this straight.

You're taking on more overtime because of me?

-Yes.

-OK, why?

Well, you heard the news over the radio about Belgium.

Sure I heard. So what?

Sooner or later we'll get in this war and I may have to go.

I don't want to leave you high and dry.

I want to save up some money so that you'll be OK till I get back.

-I'm grabbing the overtime.

-What do you think I am? An idiot?

No, I think you're a cute kid.

Don't joke your way out.

Do you think I'd trade one evening with you

for all the money you can make at that plant?

I'm sorry. Some day you'll understand.

I'm making sure my wife will have enough money to see her through.

-Don't yell at me.

-I wasn't yelling.

YOUR WIFE. You talk as if you had a bill of sale on me.

Or I was a horse you had to lay in a supply of hay for.

I'm just old-fashioned enough...

Don't give me that woman on a pedestal baloney.

Look, you want money? OK, I'll go out and get a job.

We can stack it up until we've got so much we'll never see each other.

Don't fly off the handle.

Give up night work and spend your evenings with me or I'll find a job.

-You'll do nothing of the sort.

-I will so.

I'll sling sodas. I'll wait table. I'll wash dishes.

Make up your mind now.

-You mean that?

-You bet I do.

OK, you win.

You mean no more night work?

No.

Oh, Chris.

I didn't mean to be such an ornery old hag

but you make me so darned mad.

-I guess I'm pretty much of a dope.

-Oh, no, Chris.

You're the smartest guy I ever saw.

You must try to remember that I'm a little bit smart too.

-I don't get much chance to forget it.

-It's just that...

I don't want money.

-I only want you.

-Yeah, I guess that's the way I feel too.

And Chris, I'm sorry I hurt your finger just now.

And I'm sorry I got so mad so all of a sudden.

-I won't do it again.

-Hm?

No, that's a promise, Chris.

I'll count up to 600 or something.

I simply will not fly up like that any more.

OK.

Don't get too perfect. I kind of like you the way you are.

Sorry, Toots. I'm afraid you belong outside.

Any mail, Manya?

MANYA SOBS

Manya. What's the matter?

It's... It's my John.

Oh, Manya.

Ja... "For Valour," it says.

Manya, how is your husband?

No, he's fine. He's fine.

It's from him. He sent it to me.

Oh! Oh, you really gave us a scare, Manya.

-MANYA: So happy.

-Barbara, look at Manya's husband's medal.

Oh, it's beautiful. You must be pretty proud, Manya.

-MANYA: Ja, proud.

-Where'll we put it?

-Put it?

-Doris, no.

We're not going to let Manya keep this to herself.

It's part ours. Share and share alike.

-It's democracy.

-Let's put it where we can see it.

-How about the mantel?

-That would be nice.

-What good's a medal if nobody knows you've got it?

-But...

-There. Our first medal.

-Sure looks pretty.

Jo, come and look at Manya's medal.

Oh, that's lovely, Manya.

-Really lovely.

-Where were you this afternoon?

-How come this absenteeism?

-Yes, what about it?

- Look, kids, we have to call a meeting right away.

-Jo, what's wrong?

-Everybody, sit down, huh?

Are you sure you're sober?

Sober as I'll ever be.

Look, kids...

We got trouble.

What kind of trouble?

Well, I'll explain. Remember it was my idea

that we take this house in the first place.

-I suggested it, right?

-Yes.

And erm, it was I who suggested we get somebody like Manya, remember?

What are you talking about?

Well...

You see...

The way it's turning out now, it... it...

I'm going to get more good out of this house than any of you.

Because, that's why I want you to know I didn't know until today.

Know what?

That I'm going to have a baby.

Oh, Jo!

-Oh!

-Darling!

-How wonderful!

-Wonderful!

-You don't mind?

What is the young man's name to be?

Why, Chris Jones, of course.

Just Chris Jones?

Oh, I'm sorry. Christopher Latham Jones Junior.

-The father is living?

-Yes.

-He's in the army.

-You'll have a surprise for him when he comes back.

You said it.

We're so crowded here we're asking all the mothers who are able

to leave at the end of six days.

-Would you mind that?

-Of course not. I'd like to leave now.

Not until you're in good shape.

When can I see my baby, Doctor?

Listen.

-BABIES CRY

-He can't make all that noise.

He's contributing. It'll only be a minute. See you tonight.

Thanks.

CRYING

-Have him for ten minutes.

-Thank you.

Hi there, young fella.

I did a neat job on this one, Chris my boy.

And we were going to be so smart, remember?

SHE HUMS

-Oh, Jo!

-In here.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-What are you doing?

-Practising.

This is the way they used to do it. See? Like that.

And this is the way the doctors recommend them now.

Oh.

A lot of people go out and get jackets

that the doctor will not let them wear till they're six months old.

Not very practical. First things first.

Getting ready for babies, that means diapers.

-I see.

-Louise wanted me to get a bathrobe.

-Imagine.

-Oh, Louise knows about this too, does she?

Of course. Everybody does.

But you never got around to telling me

on account of I'm not very important.

-There's no use complaining about it. I thought you knew.

-Sure. Sure.

From a fortune teller?

-There's no use getting upset.

-I don't see why not.

It's none of your business.

If Harvey wanted you to know, I guess he would have told you.

What's Harvey got to do with it?

Don't be a numbskull. It's Harvey's baby.

Get out while I put these things away.

Harvey and Jane are going to have a baby?

Of course. Jane called and told me this morning.

-We're going to give her a shower. I got diapers.

-Well...

That's different.

-Oh, Chris, you didn't think...

-That's exactly what I thought.

Oh, Chris, I think that's cute. You were scared.

I wasn't scared. Just surprised.

It would be a surprise to come home

and learn off the bat you were going to have a baby.

That's the way you'd do it. With the diapers.

Would you have been disappointed?

I don't know. I don't think this is the time to have babies.

Everybody seems to be having them.

Harvey and Jane, the Gates's and Hiltons.

-Everybody.

-You're not getting at anything are you, Jo?

No. Why?

Because if you are,

-I think we ought to talk about it first.

-OK.

You mean, let's talk about having babies?

In a way. You see, I wouldn't like to leave you alone with a baby.

-Leave me alone? Who said anything about that?

-I'm saying it now.

The draft will come calling. I want you to be in good health

with nobody to take care of.

They won't take married men. The paper said so.

-I think they will.

-I read something in the paper this afternoon.

Here it is.

Look.

See.

There isn't going to be any war.

I wouldn't count on that too much.

This won't be a tea party.

They'll have to take married men before it's over.

I want to be ready.

You mean you want to go off and get into the army?

I don't mean that at all. Nobody really wants to.

It's just that it may become necessary.

Oh, Chris, I don't think that's fair.

There's nothing fairer than taking men who are able to go,

and that's me.

That's why when you started talking about babies I got scared.

Yeah, I guess you're right, Chris.

Only...

if we did have a baby, I wouldn't be so alone when you went.

There'll be time afterwards.

You see, Jo, I've kind of made some plans about that kid of ours.

I want him to have the best of everything.

The very best from the minute he's born. You do too.

Sure. I want him to look like you too.

You see, Jo, having a baby is a pretty important thing.

It's something that's got to be carefully planned for.

Take you and me, we never went to college.

Well, I'm not complaining, neither are you but...

But our kid is different. I want to arrange everything for him.

If he wants to be a doctor, a lawyer or musician.

Whatever he wants, I want to be able to back him up.

-That's important.

-He'll be smart.

I hope he's got your brains.

Then again, I'd kind of like to be around when he's born.

You know, that's something people ought to go through together.

I'd like to see him when he begins to smile and talk

and whatever it is they do first.

Especially the early things.

I love you so much that I seem to be going around all the time

in some kind of a pink fog.

That's true. I'm the luckiest guy on earth.

You're the prettiest girl that ever lived.

And that kid of ours. That post-war genius we're going to have...

Oh, Chris, I bet he's going to be a terror.

BABY CRIES

What's the matter, young fella?

Oh, just like your dad, holler before you're heard.

Manya, is Jo home?

RUNNING

Oh, Jo, honey!

-Hello.

-It's so good to see you back.

-Where's the baby?

-He's sleeping in Manya's room until I can get up.

-Did you hear about Barbara?

-What?

Why not let Barbara tell her? Oh, OK.

-Can I go and see the baby?

-If Manya will let you.

Be right back. Jo,

you're the most beautiful mother I've seen in years.

Bet you tell that to all the mothers.

I'll see the baby. Barbara will stay with you.

I'm just going to see the young man.

-It's good to have you back.

-It's good to be back.

We both had good luck since you left.

You've got a boy and I've got a husband.

-Barbara, oh, I'm so glad. When did you hear?

-This afternoon.

He's in hospital in Honolulu. He'll be OK.

I'll never be able to say how sorry I am for

blowing off at you just before you heard about his ship.

Don't be sorry, Jo. I deserved it.

I'm just a big no-good dame.

My heart's in the right place most of the time

but this sky piece of mine is solid ebony.

Take Pete, he wasn't a bit more to blame for our trouble than I was.

He'd sooner have a wrench in his hand than a chequebook.

And we used to drink a lot. You know, go round to cabarets and all.

He'd make a lot of passes. I'd make a lot of passes.

Neither of us meant 'em but there'd be a big beef.

Yeah, I know. Most of the fights I've ever had with Chris

were over nothing at all.

You never realise how silly it all is

until you can't get together any more...even to fight.

Yeah. You know, I've been pushed around a lot.

I've seen plenty.

I swore that I'd never knuckle down to any man.

No matter how good he was.

If I ever get that guy in my arms again, I'll knuckle down to him, Jo.

I'm going to love that man like nobody's ever been loved before

because...

Because...well...

Just because.

What are you going to do if you find him making passes?

I'll wring his neck.

Well, he's just a little twerp, you know.

Oh, Jo, he's the most beautiful boy I've ever seen.

He's absolutely beautiful, isn't he? Oh, perfectly beautiful.

-I guess he's beautiful.

-Well, he is.

He smiled at me, too.

Oh, they don't smile at six days. The doctor said so.

Then he's unusual because he curled his lips up and smiled.

It was so beautiful.

You should have thumped him on the back. It was gas.

I know it's supposed to be fashionable

to talk down your own child and call him an idiot

but that baby smiled at me.

Will he pass, Helen?

He's a fine boy. You're going to be proud of him.

We're all going to be proud of him.

-I better take a look.

-I'll go with you.

Letter for you. I forgot it.

Oh, do you mind?

It's from my husband.

Everybody gets mail around here but me.

Would you mind reading just a little bit to me?

Why, of course, darling.

"Glad to hear you've found a really nice place to live.

"And that your friends are so charming.

"Things have been busy. The same routine

"but it looks like we'll have a fine bunch of fine men when we finish.

"I just received word through my commanding officer Captain Routledge that...

"That our Ted has become a major."

My little Ted.

"He doesn't know

"and won't until the papers reach his post a week or two hence.

"Don't let him know that I was the first to tell you but...

"somehow I felt that it was our time as much as his

"and that I had the right to break..."

I can't see.

"I had the right to break the news in secret.

"I find myself sitting in this jungle today

"thinking of the things that have happened to us

"since I last was in uniform.

"And all of them centre around Ted.

"I thought of the time he had scarlet fever

"and the time he broke his arm.

"And the day he won that medal in the 60-yard dash.

"And the first time he fell in love.

"I remember that particularly

"and how hard you tried to keep from being jealous of the girl

"even though she was only 14.

"I thought of the day he left college

"and how heartbroken both of us were.

"I remember his first blind anger with the world

"when it reached out and slapped him.

"But I remember most of all that for 23 years,

"with all our blunders, we still have his respect.

"That's pretty good.

"I can scarcely wait

"until I see him with gold oak leaves on his shoulders.

"I'll come to attention and salute him.

"I'll salute him very proudly.

"But in my heart I'll be saying,

"'Little son, what I really want is to put my arms around you

"'and hold your head close to me and kiss your cheek.'

"Strange to think he'd resent it,

"our little son, who used to love it so."

BABY CRIES

MANYA: # Guten Abend, gute Nacht

# Mit Rosen bedacht

# Mit Naglein besteckt

# Schlupf unter die Deck'

# Morgen fruh, wenn Gott will

# Wirst du wieder geweckt... #

Hello.

Mike!

Oh, Mike, when did you get here?

Why didn't you let me know you were coming?

Oh, Mike, I could hardly believe it when I saw you!

Mike, it's so good to have you home. Why don't you say something?

This is Mike.

-We had a slight hunch.

-Mike, this is...

Jo Jones.

-Helen Stacey. Barbara Thomas.

-Hello.

-Where's Manya?

-I met Manya.

I know! It's Mike.

He's pretty!

Yes. Isn't he?

Well, let's get acquainted. Mike, sit down.

This calls for a drink. Port or sherry?

-Oh, I don't think...

-Sherry.

-Why not take that coat off?

-Well...

When a man gets home, he takes his coat off. This is your home.

-Do you want some sandwiches?

-No, thank you.

Why not take your shoes off?

-Doris, get Chris's bedroom slippers.

-I'll just take a second.

Wait. I want you to take that stuff off your mouth!

Manya's going out of her mind. She's throwing pots around.

Take a glass. I wish it was stronger.

I do wish you'd eat.

Sit over here, where it's comfortable.

You can prop your feet up and relax.

HELEN: Maybe you'd like a bath. Jo, go and fix him a bath.

-There. Is that better?

-We need a fire.

What does it take to make a house a home?

I say it takes a fire and a man. I'll be right back.

-Here's something to read.

-Oh, no need.

I think you need a nice bath.

But he says he just had a bath.

Well, he must want something.

All right. What do you want? Huh?

-Well, I'd like to have...

-Cigarette?

Oh, no. Keep them all.

The Dumbrowskis - aren't they cute? We'll help you get dinner.

-Oh, no.

-Manya, this is special. We're going out for extras.

I've got beef soup, stuffed cabbage, sour cream and apples.

Now, let us have fun, too, Manya.