Architect of Sound Keith Richards' Lost Weekend

Do you feel you're part of the establishment or still the person you were at the beginning?

I've never seen myself as part of anything like that...

certainly not part of the establishment.

Probably, by now, you know, it's a matter of how people view me.

Is it just because I've been around so long

I'm obviously part of an establishment?

Everybody has to make your own mind up about that.

I'm not established, as far as I'm concerned!

BBC Television presents Tony Hancock in...

Hancock's Half Hour.

APPLAUSE

"Lord Bute of Normanhurst. James, Fourth Duke of Rivermount.

"Sir Giles Sanderstead, 17th Earl of Westerham."

Oh, the history that lies between these pages.

"Title created in 1263."

Isn't that marvellous?

Oh, to be in England now that gents are here.

H, here we are.

"Sir Hilary Haddersley of Huntingdon.

"Henry, Duke of Hanby. Thomas, Fifth Earl of Heston."

That's where I'd go - in-between those two.

Hancock, 1st Duke of Cheam.

What a lovely sound that has. The Duke of Cheam.

Think of all the pubs I could have named after me.

I can just see it, me old portrait up there in a high wind,

swinging backwards and forwards with the best of 'em.

Who shall I let have it, a big brewery or a free house?

"Come on, boys, what about a pint down the old Duke of Cheam tonight?"

HE LAUGHS There's immortality for you.

KNOCK AT DOOR Ah, the postman.

BELL RINGS

What do you want?

"What do you want?"

You don't come in here and say, "What do you want?"

You say, "You rang, sir."

I know you rang, it's up on a board. What do you want?

I believe the postman has called. Go and fetch the letters in.

You go and get 'em! What do you think I am, a lackey or something?

Until such time as you can pay for your room and board, yes.

If you don't like it, you can load up your barrow and leave.

Just wait, mate, just wait. One good night at the dogs and I'm gone!

Enough. The familiarity of the below stairs staff

is becoming quite ludicrous.

No wonder some of the great old families have

pushed off to the Bahamas. Do me a favour.

Ever since you got hold of this second-hand copy of

Burke's Peerage, you've gone right off!

Any more of that backchat, James,

and I shall make you clean all the silver again.

All the silver - two British Railways forks

and a sugar spoon from Margate!

Oh, honestly, Sid, you're hopeless. You've got no idea.

You're supposed to be a gentleman's gentleman.

Let's have a little delicacy.

Go to the pictures and see how Arthur Treacher does it.

Go on, go and get the letters, there's a good chap. Oh, blimey...

Shall I bring 'em here in the drawing room, sir?

Can't you see I'm reading? This is the library today.

Go on, be off with you.

I'll have to get rid of him as soon as me title comes through.

He's all right, as long as I'm a commoner, but I'll have to get

a professional as soon as I've had the sword on the shoulder.

The mail, sir, Your Highness. Thank you.

Any news from the Prime Minister? No.

A final rate demand, half a dozen soap coupons, and the gas bill.

Oh, well, send the soap coupons to the gas company

and tell 'em to knock 'em off me account.

Are you sure there's nothing from Number Ten?

Oh, blimey, don't you ever give up?

The New Year's Honours List has been out for months now.

They've had the draw and all the winners have been picked,

and your number hasn't come up, same as your Ernie bond!

They don't run it like the Ernie bond!

They're picked for their services to the community.

I can't understand it, I've been overlooked again.

I thought I was a stone banker this year.

Alec Guinness got a knighthood, why shouldn't I?

Oh, I get it - you're jealous. No, I'm not jealous.

I'm not carping about Alec, he deserves it, he's a good lad.

Never drunk, no punch-ups.

Credit to the profession, more power to his elbow.

But I think I'm entitled to a little recognition as well.

I told the Prime Minister when I applied for it,

I put me qualifications down.

Three years in the Home Guard.

I stood alone round here, mate.

The only thing between Hitler and East Cheam.

Guarding the highways of the nation, I was.

Every night, lying in the bushes on the roundabout waiting for 'em.

That's not enough for a knighthood! Well, there were other things!

They took my front gate to build a battleship!

And they never brought it back after the war, I might add.

I did everything they asked of me.

I dug for victory, ate more potatoes,

went to it, kept mum, carried me gas mask.

Surely these things must count for something. What more do they want?

But everybody in the country did all those things!

You can't have 50 million dukes and duchesses knocking around!

"Good afternoon, sir,

"the Earl of West Drayton has come to empty your dustbin!"

What are you talking about?!

Well, I still feel I've been slighted.

It's not only Alec. It's all the others as well.

Sir Laurence Oliver,

Sir Ralph Richardson, Sir John Gingold - all that mob.

If it's good enough for them, it's good enough for me.

But they got their knighthoods for their services to the theatre.

And what about MY services to the theatre?

For 12 years now, I've graced the British stage with my performances -

performances that will never be seen again.

That's true.

Sneer, that's it. You never did see me in pantomime, did you?

My rendition of Buttons had a depth of meaning

which astounded everybody who saw it

and I did it without a guitar.

A whole performance in the best tradition of

the Russian theatre and Stanislavsky.

You mean you didn't get any giggles.

I didn't try to get any giggles, I saw the part as a tragedy.

Tragedy? Blimey, it was a disaster.

You got paid off on a Wednesday, didn't you?

That's got nothing to do with it. I was ahead of me time, that's all.

They didn't want me to use the method to play Buttons.

That shows you what fools they were.

NEW YORK ACCENT OK, Cinders, you want to...

You want to go to the ball, huh, huh, huh? Yeah?

OK, well, get your sweater and the jeans on, kid. Hmm, uh, yeah? Yeah.

Er, who's the big slob with the wand, huh? Mm, uh?

Of course, they're all doing it now, but I was the first, mate!

I reckon that alone's worth an OBE.

What about my charity work for the theatre? What charity work?

Founder of the Fund For Destitute Comedians!

Well, what good is that? You're the only one who's drawn on it!

That's not the point, the thought was there,

and my home is always open to out-of-work actors.

They know they can always come there and get a meal and a bed for

a paltry sum. Ten knicker a week? Paltry?

Well, some of 'em made good money in their day,

I don't see why I should suffer.

And never any recognition at all, not a nibble.

Any little knick-knack would have done.

A couple of garters and a bath, I don't mind.

I'm not fussy, and it would have been nice,

given a bit of prestige to the television show.

"Sir Anthony Hancock's Half Hour."

It doesn't matter what you've done, mate, you'll never get a knighthood.

You can't carry a title like that living in these cheap rooms!

Well, of course, I realise that.

But if I did receive an honour like that, I should naturally move

to more knightly surroundings, back to Hancock Towers.

The old baronial hall, I never told you about that, a marvellous place.

One of the stateliest homes of England.

Gothic motives with Romanesque perpendicular tracery.

A gem of architectural beauty.

The great sweep of the drive, one of Capability Brown's masterpieces.

Approach through great iron gates

with the family crest done in gold leaf.

The majestic building rising out of the valley,

a marble doorway flanked either side by heraldic beasts.

Rearing rhinoceri with crowns on their snouts!

The turrets and battlements commanding and solid,

the huge centre tower hewn out of the solid rock of old England.

The east wing and the west wing be-spattered with arrow slits

through which sped 1,000 arrows.

Built to withstand the onslaught of invading hordes

and the ravages of time.

A lasting monument to the glory of mankind!

What happened to it?

It fell down.

Anyway, if I got a knighthood, I could start recouping the family fortunes.

I could gain my rightful inheritance,

Lord of the Manor of East Cheam. How much is that worth?

My dear Sidney, you can't value things like that

in terms of mere money. Well, what's the good of it, then?

What's the good of it?

Only that it entitles me to ride on horseback into the

counsel chamber in full armour with me sword drawn, that's all!

Plus the gift of a pancake from me to the villagers on Shrove Tuesday.

Oh, well, if I was you, mate, I'd still forget it.

Television comics'll never get knighthoods.

Well, I don't see why they shouldn't.

Because it destroys the whole dignity of the thing, that's why!

You can't have knights and earls galloping around shouting,

"Hello, my darlings! Oi-oi, that's your lot!" You gone mad?

Well, I suppose not.

How can I get a title, Sid?

In this game, boy, the legitimate theatre, that's the only way.

You've got to get in with the cream -

Wolfitt, Olivier, Richardson, not a comic among 'em.

The Old Vic, boy, that's the game.

Two Hamlets, one King Lear, and you're halfway home.

Sid, I think you're right.

Of course, I've been approaching it the wrong way.

A professional fool can't hope to compete with international heavies

the like of what them lot are.

I shall have to brush up on me Shakespeare.

I've got a copy of Treasure Island somewhere.

You remember Robert Newton in that marvellous picture?

I'll have this straight acting off in a couple of days,

then, as you are my agent, you ring up the Old Vic

and tell 'em I want to do Hamlet.

You can't just ring up the Old Vic, "I want to do Hamlet",

just like that! They've got a waiting list!

Michael Redgrave's before you, he's got his name down!

Do you honestly think they're going to mess about

with Michael Redgrave if they can have me?

Come on, we'll go down and speak to them personally.

Now, you better run me a bath

and lay out me clerical grey shade three.

That's the one we've got lagging the pipes outside, innit?

That's the one, yeah.

Yeah, put an iron over it and put a couple of buttons on it, eh?

Well, it won't be long now.

Page 709. Hancock, Anthony. Sir...

Yes, of course, Ralph.

We'd be thrilled to have you do another season for us.

Yes, any time you like.

Yes, I've spoken to Larry,

he said he'd love to do another Lear with you.

Oh, yes, of course he wants Lear.

Yes, that's what I thought you'd say.

Well, look here, I'll pencil you in for Much Ado sometime next year.

Jolly good. Bye.

Good morrow, gentle sir. Good morrow. Oh, what can I do for you?

You, sir, can do nothing for me. I wish to go straight to the top.

I never bother with minions.

Kindly inform Old Vic I'm here, I'll go straight in.

I'm afraid there's no such person.

You don't mean he's passed on? Oh, I am sorry.

I'll have to send him a floral bouquet.

Who do I have the pleasure of addressing, then, sir?

I'm the Managing Director of the Old Vic Trust.

That's all right, you'll do.

Now, put me down for a fortnight of Henry Five Part I and II.

How about the middle of April?

I can fix it in-between Finsbury Park and Bolton.

I'm awfully sorry but you have the advantage of me.

Who did you say you were, exactly?

Tell him who I am. This is Tony Hancock.

Anthony Hancock. Yeah, Anthony Hancock.

Oh. You still have the advantage of me.

What exactly do you do?

What exactly do I do?

My dear sir, either you're jesting or you're looking for

a punch up the hooter.

I'm Hancock, the actor. Oh, you're an actor! That is so.

Yes, I'm afraid we don't do auditions. Auditions?

No, we only employ known actors here.

If you leave your name and address to the casting department,

they'll let you know if there is anything for you.

Good afternoon.

Don't scribble when you're talking to me, mush!

How dare you!

I'm just signing Sir Ralph's contract.

I don't care whose con...

Is that all he's getting? For a week?

I say, this is Much Ado About Nothing, isn't it?

I thought he was at least on a monkey.

My dear sir, actors do not perform at the Old Vic for the money -

they act here for the prestige.

Oh, don't give me that. It's an income tax fiddle, isn't it?

You pay 'em in oncers after the show, I know how it works.

We do not pay them in oncers!

This is all any star gets at the Old Vic. Let's get out of here.

I can get you more than that for a baked bean commercial.

Yes, I think your agent's quite right.

I think you'd do better with the baked beans.

Now, I'm a very busy man...

Look, I'll put me cards on the table, I'm after the knighthood,

and I'm not going to get it with the baked beans, am I?

He's quite right, the prestige means more than the loot.

Well, when do I start?

I've got a better idea - get the knighthood first and then come back.

No, no, no, I've gone into this, I know how it goes.

The Old Vic, then the knighthood. Now, stop playing about.

You've had Frankie Howerd here, you can have me.

Yes, but we don't know your work.

I mean, we have a very high standard here.

Oh, well, if that's all that's bothering you,

we'll show you something.

Give him the funny walk. This kills 'em.

He doesn't want to see the funny walk. He wants to see some acting.

Oh, well, do the bit I like you doing.

What, the bit I do in front of the mirror? Yes, you know, Hamlet,

when he's on his tod, up there on the roof of Elsinki Castle.

I assume you mean the soliloquy? Yeah, he can do that as well.

Go on, impress him.

Yes, yes, all right. Which shall I do?

Charles Laughton, Edward Everett Horton or the Robert Newton?

I think Robert Newton's your best. Right, a soliloquy from Hamlet.

I take it you're familiar with this scene?

The work has been performed here occasionally, yes.

I don't want to flog myself to death

if you don't know what it's all about, you know.

Right, well, take it that the wings are over here,

so I make me entrance in here...

..with the parrot on me shoulder and the crutch.

Then I go... Just a minute, a parrot and a crutch?

I don't recollect a parrot and a crutch in Hamlet.

It's my own interpretation of the part, do you mind?

Every actor has his own idea of how Hamlet should be played...

and I see it with the parrot on the shoulder and the crutch.

That's all there is to it.

Give the artist a little leeway in his characterisation.

Yes, but you can't depart completely

from the author's conception of the role.

Are you arguing with the actor? No, I'm not, but...

All right! I enter with the crutch and the parrot.

Here. Now, put that fag out and do me a favour.

Let's have the lights down a bit

and, if you've got any coughing to do,

do it now and let's get it over.

Right, we're on, then!

To be or not to be!

That is the question, ha-harr!

Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of

outrageous fortune, Jim lad!

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles

and by opposing end them!

Get out. I beg your pardon?

That was terrible. Hey, wait a minute.

You can't talk like that to an artist of his standing.

Sidney, please, you're my agent.

Don't speak to that gentleman like that.

Punch him one! Get stuck into him, go on!

Now, listen, gentlemen, there's no need for violence.

I may have been a little hasty in my judgment,

but you must admit your interpretation was a little unusual.

Shall I give you some advice? Go on.

I think you need a little more experience

before you appear at the Old Vic. I beg your pardon?

Well, not very much, but just a little bit of,

how shall we say, polish?

I mean, you wouldn't like to jeopardise your career

for the sake of lack of experience, would you?

No, of course not. Well, what do you have to suggest?

Why don't you go away? Yes, that would be a very good idea.

Go away and join a Shakespearean repertory company -

it's the best experience in the world -

all our stars have started like that. Then, in a few years' time...

Well, no, say a few months' time,

you can come back and we'll see what we can do for you.

Very well, I shall acquiesce to your suggestion.

I shall join a repertory company

and I shall be back here for the autumn season,

so pencil me in for Henry Five, Henry Six and Dick Three.

And, er, Henry IV Part II.

Or is it Henry the Two, Part Four?

Well... You'll have that sorted out by the time I come back, of course.

By the way, when you're making my name plate

to put on the dressing room door...

Yes? Leave a space in front of the name, eh?

Don't want to screw another bit on

for when the knighthood comes through, eh?

Farewell to thee, blithe spirit!

Here, do you do Shakespeare here all the time? No, not all the time.

Yeah, well, I just had an idea.

If we turn the place into a theatre club, put a few saucy birds in,

you know, artistic poses,

I think we'd be onto a few knicker there.

Call it The Sid James Revue Bar.

Just a thought.

Yes, yes, very interesting indeed, I'm sure, Mr Hancock, but,

er, do you mind if I give you some advice? Well?

Well, I feel you need a little more experience before coming to

the East Cheam Rep. Do I hear right?

Experience to join this seedy company?

You've already seen what I can do and, I might add,

I don't give an audition to any old hobbledehoy who asks me.

I admit that your interpretation was original,

but we do not play Hamlet with a crutch and a parrot at East Cheam!

Oh, what can you do with such uncultured fools?

No wonder we're known as the barbarians of Europe!

Imagination, sir, that's what... CLATTERING

Hello. That's what the theatre lacks.

AUDIENCE GIGGLES

Watch it over there.

The star's talking.

I don't think you quite comprehend the honour I'm offering you!

I'm willing to tread the boards of this tatty playhouse and lift it

from obscurity to a place of national prominence.

Well, if it's all the same to you, we'd prefer to remain obscure.

Here at East Cheam, we play Hamlet in the wigs and the tights

or not at all!

Have you tried a theatre workshop? I'm an actor, sir, not a carpenter.

Well, I'm very sorry, but you must have experience.

We do not take beginners here.

To act in Shakespeare, you must, as it were, start from the bottom.

HE CHUCKLES

Do you get that? Shakespeare? Midsummer Night's Dream? Bottom?

HE CHUCKLES

Yes, now, listen, you go away

and come back when you've had a little bit more experience.

Very well, varlet, I shall take my services to another management.

And when you're old and grey and your grandchildren ask you

what you did in the theatre, you'll be able to tell them that you

turned down Sir Anthony Hancock because you said he had no talent.

Good day to you. Come, Sidney, we will go elsewhere.

Here, if I could get a licence,

would you be interested in putting on a few girlie shows?

You know, taking them off, a few artistic poses? Members only? No?

He's right, mate, you haven't got any imagination!

To be or not to be, that is the question, ha-harr!

Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of

outrageous fortunes, Jim lad,

or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them!

Thank you, thank you very much. And now...

I haven't finished yet. Oh, yes, you have.

And now, for the first time at the Stratford Arms,

we welcome that little lady of striptease, Maisie Sprockett,

who will do her famous Dance of the Seven Veils.

CHEERING

What a fiasco!

Uncultured lot!

This is your fault. When you said you'd got two weeks at Stratford,

you might have added it was a pub.

Yugoslavian Riesling and a packet of fags, please, Harold.

I'll pay you at the end of the week.

It's not good enough, Sidney, an artist of my calibre

appearing in the four-ale bar of a local boozer. Best I could do!

Well, I'm not satisfied.

The Prime Minister will never get to hear me working down here. No.

I'm sure his talent scouts never go into boozers. No.

Are you listening to me? Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Surely you could have got me something better than this.

Could still have been a big draw.

SIDNEY CACKLES

You're not listening! Oh, she's a little cracker, ain't she?

I'm your client! Pay attention when I'm talking to you!

Three to go. Disgusting.

I don't know what pubs are coming to.

What chance has Shakespeare got against that kind of entertainment?

You wouldn't applaud and clap if I was to get up there

and take me socks off. Anyway, as I was saying...

Two to go. As I was saying...

How many? Two. Oh...

I say, that's a bit racy, isn't it?

It's not supposed to be all right, is it? Yes, it's all right.

Yeah, I can see that.

Hello, one to go. Your fags, sir. Shut up.

She's taking her time over this one. Yeah, well, she always does.

She's taunting us, you see.

Here it goes...

CROWD CHEERS Lights!

They've turned the lights out! Cheats, robbers!

She's gone! What a fiddle! Oh, shut up.

What do you expect? It's only surface, no point in it!

Thank you, Maisie. What a little darling, eh?

And now the Stratford Arms are proud to present one of our regulars,

Rupert Troy, who will sing Because.

STRANGULATED VOICE # Because you come to me

# With naught save love... #

Oh, no, I can't stand this, I'm going home!

You can't go home, boy, you've got another show in half an hour.

Three shows a night for two months, remember?

And with all that experience behind you,

we can go straight back to the East Cheam Rep.

# Because you come to me... #

Oh, no, too much of this, I couldn't stand it.

Another glass of Yugoslavian Riesling, please.

HE IMITATES SINGER

Oh, no, no, give us the whole bottle, mate. I've had enough...!

KNOCK AT DOOR Come in.

Oh, it's you two again, is it?

Didn't I tell you to go away and get some experience?

I've had more than enough experience for you, sir. Tell him.

Two months at Stratford. Stratford? Really?

Certainly, I've got a recommendation here from the management.

"Gave complete satisfaction to our customers

"in his rendition of Hamlet

"and never once was found drunk on the premises.

"Signed, the manager." There we are. Very impressive. Any press cuttings?

Press cuttings, yes, I've got one here. The Brewers Gazette.

"The best thing seen at the Stratford this year."

Brewers Gazette? That's a strange paper to be reporting

stage activities, isn't it?

Yeah, well, they were having an outing, you see,

and they reported it. Oh, I see, and, er,

they were impressed with your new interpretation?

Naturally, they were knocked out with it.

Ooh, well, what's good enough for Stratford's good enough for us.

We've never had anybody here from Stratford before.

Good, well, I shall play three title roles -

Richard III, Romeo, and Julius Caesar.

My own interpretation, of course.

Of course. Right, then, what about the contract?

Yes, well, we pay all our top stars seven pounds a week

plus their National Allowance stamp.

Blimey, we got more than that in the pub! What? Where?

He said we spent more than that in the pub entertaining after

the show, you know how it is, Larry and Viv and all that lot, you know.

As we all know, they're not half a pint of bitter merchants, no, no.

They're gin and tonic and glasses of red stuff with cherries in 'em

and all that.

Look, I want all the publicity I can get.

I want you to get the Prime Minister down with all his talent scouts.

Of course, when I get to the Old Vic, I want to be a big name.

Now, I want to get the whispers going round now

about the knighthood, right?

It won't be long now.

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears.

I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him, ha-harr!

The evil that men do lives after them.

The good is oft interred with their bones, ha-harr!

MILD APPLAUSE

Now is the winter of our discontent

made glorious summer by this son of York.

Ha-harr!

And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house in the deep bosom

of the ocean buried, ha-harr!

Arr, there you are.

But soft. What light through yonder window breaks, ha-ha-harr!

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun, arr!

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,

who is already sick and pale with grief, ha-ha-ha-harr!

Good morrow, coz.

I and me agent laddie have returned to offer our services.

Oh, yes, you're the one I told to go away and learn a trade, aren't you?

Not learn a trade, learn the trade.

Oh, yes. Well, I have. Tell him.

Two months at Stratford and two months at East Cheam Rep.

Oh, really? So, what about it?

Yeah, you promised him, if he got some experience,

you'd give him a job. So I did.

Tell me, do you know all of Shakespeare's works?

All of them - which would you like to hear?

Titus, Much Ado, King Lear? I know the lot.

I'm going to take a chance.

I'm going to sign you up for the whole season -

five of Shakespeare's greatest plays.

What would you say to that?

Child's play.

You couldn't have found a better leading man.

At last, a star at the Old Vic.

Just to think that Maisie Sprockett could have been Lady Hancock...

and I told her not to mess about with that bloke who sang Because.

APPLAUSE

Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer by this

son of York and all the clouds that lour'd upon our house...

Er...

Lour'd...

Prompt. In the deep bosom of the ocean buried, ha-harr, Jim lad!

In the deep bosom of the ocean buried, ha-harr, Jim lad!

Prompt. Why don't you learn the lines?

Knighthood? They can't even see me.

Please! No.

Give me a line. No!

I'm the star, down here!

Here I am! Now is the winter of our discontent!

To be or not to be, that is the question!

Once more unto the breach, dear friends! Here I am, down here!

What about the knighthood? Hancock's the name. Give me a line!

D'a-a-agh!

He's not getting a knighthood through my talent. Any requests?

Any part you like. I've come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

Any part you like. Here you are, Punch and Judy!

APPLAUSE

Seemed a long shot, I'm sure, but what if they, er,

they offered you a knighthood?

I would have to say no. I'm going to hang out for the peerage.

Anyway, I wouldn't let that family near me with a sharp stick,

let alone a sword, you know.

By now, I'm comfortable everywhere, you know.

I'm comfortable with royalty,

I'm comfortable, you know, with assholes,

and I'm comfortable all over the place.

At the same time, I'm still well aware of where I come from

and that, I mean, it's a shining example of what can happen

if you're talented and lucky like me, you know!

BIRD TWEETS

My heart aches

And a drowsy numbness pains my sense

As though of hemlock I had drunk

Or emptied some dull opiate to the drains one minute past

And Lethe-wards had sunk

Tis not through envy of thy happy lot

But being too happy in thy happiness

That thou, light-winged Dryad of the trees

In some melodious plot of beechen green

And shadows numberless

Singest of summer in full-throated ease.

Are there things that you hated as a young guy that you now like?

Vera Lynn.

THEY LAUGH

Yeah, you know, little things like that, you know.

# Born free

# And life is worth living

# But only worth living

# If you're born

# Free. #

DUSTBIN LID CLATTERS

CLATTERING

What the flipping 'eck?

# Whoa!

MICK PLAYS HARMONICA

# Talkin' 'bout the midnight rambler

# Everybody got to go

# Talkin' 'bout the midnight rambler

# The one you never seen before

# Sighin' down the wind so sadly

# Listen and you'll hear me moan

# Talkin' 'bout the midnight rambler

# Everybody got to go

# Talkin' 'bout the midnight gambler

# The one you never seen before

# Talkin' 'bout the midnight rambler

# Did you see me jump the garden wall?

# Sighin' down the wind so sadly

# Listen and you'll hear me moan

# Talkin' 'bout the midnight gambler

# Everybody got to go... #

Come on!

MICK PLAYS HARMONICA

# Talkin' 'bout the midnight rambler

# Well, honey, it's no rock and roll show

# Talkin' 'bout the midnight gambler

# Everybody got to go... #

Come on, now, come on!

Woo!

Getting funky now!

MICK PLAYS HARMONICA

# Yeah, baby, that's all right, now... #

How we still going?

# Yeah! Now, don't do that

# Don't do that

# Don't do that

# And don't do that

# And don't do that

# And don't do that

# Don't do...

# Don't do that

# Don't do that

# And don't do that

# Now don't do that

# Yeah

# Oh, yeah

# Oh, yeah

# Oh, yeah

# And, oh, yeah

# But, oh, yeah

# And, oh, yeah

# And, oh, yeah

# And everybody say a-aow!

CROWD: A-aow!

# And everybody say a-aow!

CROWD: A-aow!

# Everybody at Glastonbury say a-aow!

CROWD: A-aow!

# Mm-hm...

# Whoo! CROWD: Whoo!

# Whoo! CROWD: Whoo!

# Whoo! CROWD: Whoo!

# Whoo! CROWD: Whoo!

# Whoo! CROWD: Whoo!

# Oh, yeah

# Well, you heard about the Boston...

# Well, now, honey it's not one of those

# Well, I'm just talking about the midnight

# Well, the one you've never seen before

# He's called the hit-and-run raper in anger

# Or just a knife-sharpened tippie-toes

# Or just the shoot 'em dead brainbell jangler

# Everybody got to go

# Listen for the midnight rambler

# Play it easy as you go

# I'm gonna smash down all your plate glass windows

# Put a fist through your steel-plate door

# And if you ever catch the midnight rambler

# Play it easy, easy as you go

# Well, he's pouncing like proud black panther

# People, they'll say I told you so... #

Come on.

Come on!

# Talking about the midnight gambler

# Everybody got to go

# Talk about the midnight rambler

# Yeah, the one you never seen before

# So, if you ever catch the midnight rambler

# Steal your mistress from under your nose

# I'll go easy with your cold-fanged anger

# I'll stick my knife right down his throat. #

MICK: Thank you!

KEITH: 'When you come off stage, you might be knackered,

'but with thousands of people in front of you going, "Yeah, man!"

'And you're getting this incredible feedback and energy

'and they're singing the songs for you.

'I mean, you could actually not bother half the time.

'No. It's a feeling that can't really be described.

Unfortunately, you can't all do it, can you?

But I've been there and it's my job.

You go out there on stage and you have a huge audience who have paid

their Goddamn money to come and see you.

And they give you all the love they got and you feel kind of honoured.

And you just try and give them the best you've got.

How can you fail?

I mean, you can screw up or whatever,

but it gives you a feeling that...

Man, you know, if they're here

and they're giving me this amount of energy,

I'd rather croak onstage than, like, flake it.

I go out there and I want to do it just a little bit better

than I did it the night before.

And I think there's a collective feeling in this band.

They're never, any of them, go out there and say,

"Oh, we're going to churn it out."

It wouldn't be possible with this band.

In that way, they're workaholics.

Including me, probably worse than the rest of them.

It's an amazing job, man. Yeah.

You know, I don't mind doing another half an hour.

MUSIC: In A Dis A Time by The Itals

# Whoa, whoa, yeah

# Yeah, yeah, my bredren You got to know yourself

# In a dis a time

# Man you have the mind

# You get carry away by captivity

# Carry away by captivity

# In a dis a time

# How do them say themselves Jah?

# For 30 pieces of silver

# Jah Jah live forever

# Him a go come with lightening and thunder

# In a dis a time

# Any one can tell a lie

# But the truth reveal itself

# All you a go say that you love Jah Jah

# Yet y'all fight tribal against ya brother

# In a dis a time # In a dis a time

# You lie and knew what you wanna know

# Some son he got to take a blow

# Man have to know himself don't you know

# Birds tangled by them feet

# Man a go tangled by them tongue

# So it was written So it must be done

# In a dis a time, yeah In a dis a time

# In a dis a time, yeah In a dis a time, yeah

# All you a go say that you love Jah Jah

# Yet y'all fight tribal against ya brother

# In a dis a time, yeah In a dis a time, yeah

# In a dis a time

# You lie and knew what you wanna know

# Some son he got to take a blow

# Man have to know himself don't you know

# Birds tangled by them feet

# Man a go tangled by dem tongue

# So it was written So it must be done

# In a dis a time, yeah In a dis a time

# In a dis a time, me breadren In a dis a time

# You got to know yourself, yeah

# You have to know ya self, yeah

# In a dis a time Oh, my bredren. #

LION ROARS

Whoa!

Stick 'em up!

Give me a Neapolitan.

Make mine a tutti-frutti.

GUNSHOTS

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Come on, horse!

Whoa!

GUNSHOT

Howdy. Sure glad to see you.

Howdy, Slim. Glad to see you too.

Yeah, turning chicken.

Get out of here.

HE WHIMPERS

SLURPING

Hey, waiter.

WHISPERS

BANG!

GUNSHOTS

# I wanna drink my java from an old tin can

# While the moon is riding high

# I wanna listen to the whippoorwill

# I wanna hear a coyote cry... #

HE HOWLS

Bang.

Waiter!

# I want to kick him in the side

# Just to show his step and pride

# Back on the Texas plains. #

SHE YODELS

Hey, girl. How about a kiss, eh?

APPLAUSE

Let's get him, boys.

HORN BLARES

COMMENTATOR: There they go!

And it's Time Supplying going to the front from Extend The Hat.

Golden Boy second by half a length.

And into the turn, Gallant Fox on the outside.

And here comes Not A Chance!

All right, girl.

I'm a-taking that kiss.

Uh-oh, the posse.

I'll see you later.

Whoa!

Hey, waiter!

Whoa!

And now, my proud beauty, I'll be getting that kiss.

Hey, now. Wait a minute, Shorty.

You've been a-dogging me all through this picture.

Just who the heck are you anyway?

Why, haven't you heard?

I'm the hero.

Hey, waiter.

My hero.

YA-HOO!

How about kids? Obviously, being a father changes everything.

Well, yeah.

It's what's supposed to happen, you know?

You're supposed to grow up, have kids,

and you love them and you grow 'em up as best you can.

I've got five grandkids.

I was in my room here last night.

There were only two people in the room that were not from my loins

and there's about 10 people in the room, right.

And one was Marlon's wife, Lucy, and one was my wife.

The rest of them... I thought, "Jesus Christ!"

Responsible.

I don't know. Are they all mine?

And have they all got my blood running in them?

I have granddaughters leap... I don't even want them to leap on me

and say, "Grandpa, I love you," and I just woke up, you know?

But, you know, you can't deny it.

It's like, "Come here, give us a hug."

What do you get from them? Oh, love.

You give it, you get it back - simple as that.

We all take care of each other and...stuff like that

and it's, I mean, hard to put into words.

But it's just love, really.

Family's family and, you know, you don't make a big deal out about it

but somehow, miraculously...

..my brood is incredibly lovable.

Right, time to walk the dog, you know what I mean?

Check this out while I'm gone.

The late, great Etta James.

MUSIC: Night-Time Is The Right Time By Etta James

# You know the night-time

# Is the right time

# To be with the one you love

# Oh, baby

# Come on, babe

# Come on, baby

# You the one I'm thinking of

# You know the night-time

# Ooh, ooh, is the right time

# To be with the one you love

# I said, be with the one you love

# You know my mother

# She hadn't a dime

# And my father

# Left his poor child crying

# Oh, baby Oh, baby, now

# Come on, baby

# I want you to be my lover

# Oh, and keep me satisfied

# You know the night-time

# Every... #

'The furthest these people are willing to look into the future is

'who goes home with whom.'

Go!

# Be with the one you love

# Baby

# Baby

# Baby

# Oh, baby, now

# You know I love you

# Place no-one above you

# Hold me tight

# Make everything all right

# Because you know the night-time

# Everyday is the right time

# To be with the one you love

# Well, it's all right. #

Who's the lucky fella?

# Squeeze me

# Squeeze me

# Squeeze me, baby

# Oh, don't leave me

# I want you to hold my hand

# Oh, baby

# And I don't need

# I don't need no other man

# Because you know the night-time

# Oh, is the right time

# To be with the one you love

# Oh, yes, it is. #

Bicycle Thief.

Made just after the war, in Italy.

How I got to know it? Art school.

Once a month, they would show, you know... They would have a movie.

Bicycle Thief was my first introduction to Italian movie-making

and the different way of telling a story.

The relationship between the boy and the old man and editing...

That's when I first became aware of, you know, they chop 'em up...

I always remembered it because it wasn't Hollywood.

Yeah.

There's a different way of looking through the lens,

therefore there are many other ways of looking through a camera

and capturing what you wanted and to tell a story.

It was, to me, an eye-opener in that movies are not always made

in Hollywood or Lion Studios or Elstree...

Bicycle Thief was the thing that...

There's a place called Europe and they know how to look at things too.