Episode 15 Celebrity MasterChef

'Celebrity MasterChef is down to the last five.'

I really think I've stepped up my game, but everybody is,

so the pressure is definitely on.

The world "failure" isn't in my vocabulary.

I want to beat them other guys out there, you know?

They are good, but I want to be better.

This bit of the competition now gets brutal.

If they don't perform, they are out.

I think this is probably your biggest day so far.

We want you to present your food to restaurant critics.

You are going to have to be at your best.

One dish, and it's got to be amazing, cos if it's not...

..you may leave the competition.

One hour, ladies and gentlemen. Let's cook.

It's a very nervous day today.

Restaurant critics are not easy people to please.

I tell you what - I bet they're sharpening their knives now.

Professional chefs would be terrified of this challenge, John,

and we've got five celebrities. Don't forget that.

'I think I've grown a lot as a cook.'

I'm enjoying getting just a hint of respect from them.

I love that fish. The fish is so soft!

The culinary term is, "Boom!" Absolutely on the money.

-What are you making for us, Ade?

-Grilled tuna

with two types of fennel -

a fennel that's poached in star anise and olive oil,

served with an orange syrup reduction,

then there's a paper-thin salad of fennel,

which is served with segmented oranges and a dressing.

How do you feel about serving your food up to such tough critics?

Well, I've got no love for critics. But you suffer at their hands

for so long in the business I'm in,

so it's best just not to believe them if they say anything horrible

or anything nice, and I think people who just eat tea for a living...

-Like me.

-HE LAUGHS

Yeah, like you. I don't respect you at all, Gregg.

I really like the sound of fennel and blood orange -

sweet but a little bit sharp, with a lovely meaty tuna.

But fennel cooked with star anise, it may just be an aniseed overload.

I'm in the final five. I still have to pinch myself.

The first couple of challenges were awful for me.

Can you imagine that to be served to these guys? No way.

I was clearly going home, and then I turned a corner.

Go on, son!

I love your chutney! You continue to surprise me.

It's amazing. I'm loving it, and I'm feeling more confident

as the competition goes on.

-We've turned you into a cook, Les.

-You have indeed!

-Thank you very much.

-What is your dish?

Pan-fried seared sea-bass fillet

with brown shrimps Morecambe Bay style,

you know, in butter and parsley,

and a potato, tomato and basil confit.

-Les Dennis, doing a tomato, basil and potato confit!

-Yes!

-Someone's got to go home today, Les.

-I just hope it's not me.

I love the idea of rosemary, spinach and sea bass together.

I think it's wonderful.

Les is actually putting together a restaurant-style dish.

It's whether he's got the restaurant-type skill

to pull it off.

'This means a great deal to me.'

The sense of achievement is enormous.

I've come so far in such a short time.

I am blown away by the amount of work on this plate.

-Stunning.

-You're joking me!

But I've got so much in my head that I'm trying to think of

that I let certain things go.

-Anything else to go on?

-No. Yes! Yes! Dressing!

I think I'm just fairly chaotic in how I go about things.

What creation are we going to have from Brian today?

It's sea bass on a bed of baby leeks,

potato fondant with chorizo crumbled on the potato,

and the sea bass will sit on top of that.

-And the samphire?

-That will be samphire tempura,

which will just be a garnish.

-And is there a creamy sauce as well?

-There is. Veloute.

This dish has evolved from something else,

which was more complicated. Now this seems simpler to me.

You evolved this dish from a dish that was more complicated than this?

In my head, yes, but I think I've got something wrong with my head.

That is just way, way too much on a plate.

He's got three and a half hours' worth of work in there

that he's trying to squeeze into 60 minutes.

I'm a little bit nervous for Brian.

All the way through this whole competition,

I've thoroughly enjoyed the whole process of just getting better.

I think the rabbit's a bit dry, but the taste is great.

That could be the best butternut- squash soup I've ever tasted.

That is lovely.

I think I have certainly transformed into a different kind of cook

than I ever was.

I'm keeping it quite simple, as usual.

What I think I'm going to create

is a black-olive rosemary-crusted lamb with sweet-potato fondant,

and dressing of black-olive tomatoes.

Today, do you think maybe this is a little bit...

uncomplicated?

No, I don't think so. I think if the food is good, the food is good.

You can't question that.

Shane is taking his minimalist food right up to the edge here.

It goes without saying that lamb has got to be cooked perfectly pink,

and that fondant has got to be perfectly soft.

I think Shane may be the riskiest cook in the room.

I'm very pleased I'm in the final five

because I don't feel that I've compromised my principles.

You've served it like a great big stew.

You're trying to make me serve it like I'm in a restaurant,

and I can't do that.

Another one with a hole in it, Brian!

Sounds like Janet's having a nice time.

Agh!

It's really very, very good indeed.

I can't believe you've said that.

-What's the dish, Janet?

-It's red risotto,

and it's escalope of pheasant breast.

Tell me about the sage-and-apple jelly.

I made a sage-and-apple jelly,

and I know in your world you'd be doing a dibby-dabby sauce round it.

Well, I'm just giving people a spoonful of my sage-and-apple jelly,

which is how game was originally eaten, with fruit jellies.

-Good!

-No doubt you'll complain about how it looks on the plate...

-Of course.

-..but I'm going to make an effort.

We've got some rings and little dishes and bowls...

-Well, I've been persuaded, you know?

-Ooh!

-BOTH: Ooh!

-It's to put the risotto in.

-I know!

-What about feeding these critics?

I've shared a flat with Tracey MacLeod,

so if she doesn't want stories about her underwear on national TV,

she'll be finding my dish very agreeable.

-So she either likes your food or you spill the beans?

-Yes.

It was a bit of a bad period in my life.

Pheasant is a tricky thing. She's being clever,

protecting it with breadcrumbs, but if it's overcooked,

it can still be dry and chalky.

I think we are going to get great-tasting Janet food

that also looks great. Hallelujah!

-Ade, you've got just six minutes.

-Yeah. On schedule.

Ade's dishes, all my yesterdays. I lived through the grilled-tuna years

and I must admit, I got rather tired of it.

So Ade has to do something really interesting with this

to grab my attention.

Five minutes, Ade, then we want that out.

-I'm going to be a little bit early.

-Right-oh.

Well done.

That's it. Not too rare? It's up to you.

-I like it like that.

-OK.

-That's how I'd have it.

Good.

Interesting-looking dish, Ade.

You got three minutes, but you don't need 'em, do you?

No. I just need half a minute, I think.

In order to create a bit of drama, could you pretend you do?

-You've got just three minutes, Ade!

-But there's still two to do!

-THEY LAUGH

-Cheers, mate.

You've finished with time to go. Well done. Very well done.

I've got an open mind about it, but it's pink.

Well, good afternoon, lady and gentlemen.

-Hello!

-How are we doing?

-Very well.

-Are you hungry?

-Yeah.

-At the moment.

Thank you.

It's obviously grilled tuna, with what I call sweet-and-sour fennel.

-I hope!

-HE LAUGHS

-Thank you very much.

-Enjoy it.

Well, it's pink and pallid.

I don't find pink food very appetising, really.

It's not in my line of country.

It's all a bit one-note.

There's a little bit of sour, a little bit of sweet.

It's not exactly a disaster in any way.

It's just a bit dull.

The fish is decent,

and the sweet-and-sour fennel underneath it

has got a good flavour, but then this other cold salad of fennel

is just replicating, in a very sweet and bland way,

the other flavours.

There's no reason why these things have found themselves on the plate,

and that makes it pretty unsatisfying.

It's a little bit bizarre, but actually, I don't mind it.

I like that soft confit fennel underneath,

and I even like the sweet sauce that sits with it.

HE IMITATES CROWD CHEERING

'I don't know if that's enough.'

I cooked that as if I was at home, and there's a mistake.

I didn't ponce it up.

I should've just done very neat cylinders,

and that sort of shape. Oh!

Ow!

HE SIGHS

-You've got about four minutes left.

-OK. Thank you.

It's going to come down to, can he cook the sea-bass accurately,

and does he actually know what he's doing in making a confit?

-Are your potatoes cooked?

-Some are and some aren't.

Les, you've only got three minutes. You ain't got time to cook an egg!

-Think about how your plates are going to look.

-And how hot they are!

Nice on the fish, Les.

OK. We're about to go over time, Les.

I think I need a couple of minutes.

Wow! Look what you've done. You don't believe it, do you?

-I don't believe it, no.

-Good on you, mate. Let's go.

-Now, look! We'll help you, Les.

-Watch this.

-There you go.

-Oh, look how enticing that looks!

-I hope it tastes as good.

-Thank you.

-Afternoon!

-Hello.

-Sorry for the delay.

It looks great.

-CLATTERING

-Oops, sorry.

-That's all right.

It's pan-fried sea bass with browned shrimps

on a potato, basil and tomato confit,

with rosemary-infused spinach.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

-SHE WHISPERS

-That was Les Dennis!

-Les Dennis has cooked my lunch!

-Who's Les Dennis?

He's very famous!

He warmed the plates! It's such a small thing,

but this means that this plate of food is not cold.

-I have to say, it also smells rather good.

-Yeah. It does.

I'm impressed by this. It's a really well balanced plateful.

The very slight rosemary note you get with that spinach,

which just, you know, adds a little something of his own to it.

The cooking of the fish really is bang-on.

The thing that makes it work is the potted shrimps.

I would like more spinach, potatoes a little more cooked,

-and then it would be straight As.

-Les Dennis knows what he's doing!

I think the flavours are great. I think the seasoning's brilliant.

-I love his presentation. I think he's got all that right.

-Good dish.

Whoa!

HE LAUGHS

I am so relieved!

'I'm loving it, and I would love to go all the way.'

Wow! How amazing would that be?

-15 minutes left until your fish are ready?

-Yes.

Brian's menu is the only menu description I've seen

that actually needs punctuating to make sense of it. It is so long.

Oh, my hands!

It's a very complex set of circumstances,

and if he does it right, it will be very delicious,

and if he slips up on any one of these many elements,

it will be horrid.

Brian, four minutes left, mate.

Oh, OK.

-BRIAN CHUCKLES

-Oh!

All right. You got to get moving. Let's go.

How many more bits have you got to put on?

-Oh, just a... Well...

-About seven?

Yes.

You're not going to try and balance that... Oh!

Beautiful-looking dish, mate.

-Is that it?

-Yes.

-Go get 'em, son.

Right.

Oh, look, I admire the skill and the art form, but, wow!

Thank you.

This is, um, pan-fried sea bass on a bed of baby leeks,

fondant potato with crumbled chorizo,

-with a samphire tempura batter.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

Thank you.

There's a lot going on here, and I hope that it's delicious,

because that amount of work deserves to be rewarded.

The tempura... He's managed to get a really good, crisp batter.

His veloute is just in the right quantity with the rest of the dish.

It's all really very well balanced.

I think this is just a couple of notches down from brilliant.

The fish is slightly overcooked. The sauce is slightly under-seasoned.

But there's some really good ideas in here.

I like the potato and I like the tempura,

but whether it's the kind of plate of food

someone sends out feed you, I don't know.

I mean, it's a bit more artistic than, perhaps, it should be.

There are some really nice flavours on there.

The fish is really delicate. I like the smoky sweetness

of the chorizo, and the butteriness of the potato.

He's pushing the boundaries, and good on him for taking the risk.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think

I'd be cooking for anybody like them,

or make the progress that I have so far.

It's just been absolutely extraordinary. It's really weird.

-You've got five minutes. Are we going to get it up?

-We're good.

Olive-and-rosemary-crusted rack of lamb. Sounds terrific.

Sweet-potato fondant... What an abomination.

What's wrong with a potato fondant?

-Bring the pot a bit closer.

-I'll do them one at a time

so I don't panic myself. It's a good idea, John.

I'm on a roll here, you see.

60 seconds left.

Don't bother. Going to get yourself in all sorts of trouble.

-Have you got a bit of dressing to go on there?

-Yeah.

-Anything else to go on them?

-No. That's the lot.

-OK, good.

-Right, let's go.

-It's an odd little dish, John!

-Odd! Yes!

How you doing?

-Right. Ladies first.

-Oh, lovely. Thank you.

-Indeed.

We have a black-olive-and-rosemary crusted lamb

with some fondant potato,

and the dressing is black olive with tomato.

-Enjoy.

-Thanks.

-Thank you.

Look, I don't want to be too vulgar,

but that crust does look like the animal's been served

with the bit out the other end. It's not pretty. It's not pretty.

The lamb is, frankly, undercooked. When you feel your knife pulling

against the connective tissue, something's up.

The one thing I like is the tomato black-olive dressing.

Other than that, this is the silence of the lambs.

Newsflash - there ain't no point in making sweet-potato fondant.

It's a nasty, sludgy sort of thing.

It's a shame that he didn't manage to quite cook the lamb enough,

because it was a lovely piece of lamb, well seasoned,

and it seemed like he'd managed to rest it.

You're being too nice. You're looking for something

to be nice about, because you have very fond memories of Boyzone.

-He's part of a popular-music combo, is he?

-Yeah.

Ah!

Really quite horrible.

Barely cooked lamb with sweet potato.

That is quite awful. You've had one mouthful.

You don't have to. That's horrible.

This, though, is the first time we've seen Shane have a disaster.

HE LAUGHS

'I'm really in the dark

'with whether that dish was enough to get me through.'

I don't know if the presentation was good enough.

I don't know if the lamb's done.

I don't know if this is not enough on the plate.

Um...

Honestly, I'm... Shutdown.

-You got three minutes to put that food in front of those critics.

-OK.

I'll do my wiping in a minute.

Janet and wiping in the same sentence!

I know. It's a world first.

Escalope of pheasant breast...

We have no idea what it's going to be like at all. There's not a clue.

Vegetables? Who knows?

Sauce? Who knows?

Can I just say, it looks rustic.

-Because it is what it is.

-Absolutely. So are you.

Never underestimate Janet Street-Porter. I bet it'll be great.

Right. Time's up. Looking good.

-Right. Rings off.

-Rings off.

-Look at that!

-Nearly all right.

-What about these?

-Leave 'em. No!

-I couldn't do anything about it!

-You'll smudge it. Leave 'em!

Hurray!

-Beautiful. Beautiful.

-It is a lovely colour.

-Same colour as your hair, that is.

-Yeah.

-Come on!

-OK.

-Thanks, Janet.

-I like that.

-Yeah, it's great.

-Really like that.

SHE LAUGHS

-Lovely to see you, too.

-Lovely to see you.

-Who wants it first?

-Girls first.

Thanks, Janet.

I've made escalope of pheasant breast,

and beetroot spelt risotto

with red chard for the stir-fried veg.

-And the jelly?

-That's apple- and-chilli jelly that I made myself.

Thank you very much.

Enjoy it!

It's got a certain rustic charm, hasn't it?

A simple presentation, and none the worse for that.

I think the pheasant is just very, very dry.

If you put it together with the jelly, it's quite pleasant.

I like the jelly. The rest of it is "meh".

Maybe I've been luckier than you with my escalope.

Mine is really moist. She's got garlic flavours in there.

She's got some nuts in there as well, and herbs.

I'm very, very happy, particularly with my jelly and my escalope.

I think that's as good as anything we've had today.

This is Stockholm Syndrome, isn't it?

You worked for her and you lived with her,

and you're like Patty Hearst locked in the cupboard

with the Symbionese Liberation Army,

and you've given yourself over to Janet.

I could take my revenge on her after years of abuse,

but I'm not going to. This is good.

I love the nutty crust on that pheasant.

Really good, moist meat.

But I especially love the bitterness

that's coming from the radicchio-and-chard combination.

I tell you what - that is a good, good dish.

I think it went all right. I don't know.

It looked nice.

This is something I love eating, so it was good.

I think today was a little bit nuts.

MasterChefs have all gone a little bit stir crazy.

-A bit outrageous, you mean?

-Well, we just had some crazy food.

Not just some crazy food. We had loads of crazy food.

What's happened to them since we last saw them?

Right before our eyes, Les Dennis is becoming a good cook.

We saw a quietly confident Les Dennis walk in this kitchen today,

somebody that really did believe in their dish,

and it was good.

We're both very surprised by the amount of work that Brian did.

I'm not a great fan of food like that,

but I've got to admire Brian's ambition.

I've got to admire the fact that he puts all that on a plate,

and everything is cooked very, very well.

I've always admired Janet's cooking. I admire the fact

that she's having a go at presentation,

and I think today she actually pulled it off.

Good, big, hearty dish. I liked it a lot.

There are two cooks today who I believe are in the running

to be knocked out of the competition -

Ade and his tuna and fennel overload,

and Shane and his death-by-lamb.

'I want to stay in, because the final is just there.'

And...what's the point in going out now?

It'd be a bit saddening, really.

From the bottom of my heart, I guess I'd like to stay.

'I'd really like to go through. I would.

'I'd really like to go through.

'But after that challenge,

'I think my chances of staying on are about 50/50.'

But there you go.

-Who's it going to be?

-Boyzone or Bottom.

Today was fretful,

and we had plenty of ups and downs.

And we've now made a decision.

The person leaving the competition is...

..Shane.

SONG: "No Matter What" by Boyzone

# No matter what they tell us

# No matter what they do

# No matter what they teach us...

You keep cooking, huh?

# What we believe is true...

I'm a little bit sad to see the back of Celebrity MasterChef,

because I had an amazing time. I've really loved it.

'I've learned so much.

'I've come on quite a fantastic journey.'

'So, yeah, a little bit gutted to go.'

But every day and every struggle that we went through

has most definitely been worth it.

# No, no matter what

# No, no matter what

# That's all that matters to me #

THEY CHATTER AND LAUGH

I don't really know how I did it,

or whether I'm worthy of it or not, but I'm here.

-BRIAN:

-'At the beginning, I had no idea I'd get this far.'

It's fantastic, absolutely fantastic. I'm so chuffed.

-Thank you!

-Thank you so much.

-Cheers.

-Well done.

-Here's to you.

Well done, guys. Final four!

Cheers! Well...

'Next week it's the finals, and the pressure reaches its peak.'

-Oh, I hate this.

-Agh! I've lost it.

-Oh!

-No!

No, no!

-John, that's a disaster.

-The dish was phenomenal.

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