Episode 3 Floyd on Fish

For thousands of years, Brittany and Cornwall have been linked by music, dance and fishing,

but when it comes to eating the catch the similarities end.

It's OK if you like haddock,

plaice and unidentified frying objects, but if you want to taste

a full variety of fish, you need to come to France.

Saint Malo, for example. Quel dommage! Ain't it?

Good morning! It's very early, but the sun's shining and we are in Saint Malo!

Sorry if I look a bit rough - the crossing was heavy!

Look at this fabulous fish market! It leaves the English ones looking very sad by comparison.

Look - mountains of beautiful black mussels - like pearls, they are.

And the cockles. Delightful. Do we ever see cockles in England?

Never - except in jam jars. And fresh prawns, shrimps...

Pilchards! We can't be bothered to eat them in Cornwall, but here they are in Saint Malo.

In France - of course! Other white fishes here...

really superb little sardines magnificent for chargrilling on summer evenings.

This is just wonderful!

Dog fish! Cooked in a tomato sauce - absolutely magnificent!

And skate, ray - cooked with black butter and capers and vinegar - magnificent!

Cod - all we do is dip it into batter and deep fry!

More mussels - there's everything here!

Oh, look!

# Hold tight, hold tight hold tight, hold tight

# Foo-ra-de-ack-a-sa-ki Want some sea food, Mama

# Shrimpers and rice - they're very nice

# Hold tight, hold tight

# Hold tight, hold tight Want some sea food, Mama

# Steamers and sauce And then, of course,

# I like oysters, lobsters too

# I like a taste of fish

# When I come home from work at night

# I get my favourite dish - fish!

# Hold tight, hold tight Hold tight, hold tight

# Foo-ra-de-ack-a-sa-ki Want some sea food, Mama. #

Look at this - quite incredible! Fresh shrimps, you never see those!

And live langoustines right next door!

They are selling so fast there won't be any left soon!

Even the humble winkle. Fantastic, it's fantastic!

# Big, big, big, big fish

# Fish. #

What a plate of luxury, what a table of extravagance!

These are the things I told you about - we send them all to France!

The French know what to do. Fantastic!

Live lobsters. Just an ordinary lady buying a lobster for lunch.

Pardon, Madame... And these beautiful crabs for fish soup.

Absolutely incredible!

I tell you one thing that really saddens me here,

this is a great cathedral to fish but all of these lobsters and all of the crabs that are here

come from the Devon, Somerset and Cornwall coasts.

We're not eating it, the French are!

Well done, British fishermen, anyway!

With all this terrific food around the place,

if I don't get myself a kitchen and start cooking I'll go potty!

One of the charms of France is the market,

and despite the "hypermarche", street trading is where it's at.

Shopping in France is not a once a week exercise like in England,

they shop daily, touching, smelling, testing the produce before they plan a menu.

What a wondrous place!

Home-made sausages, fresh vegetables or a bone for stock.

It's all available here. It's also a social occasion,

the nearby bars are filled with folk discussing tonight's meal,

not the price of loo rolls!

Anyway, back to business, I've bought langoustine, mussels, clams,

all I have to do now is to procure a kitchen.

Of course, the great BBC forgot to organise one!

I'll try a bit of British charm and see how we get on.

Six heures? Nettoyee, fini manger. Entendu.

Je peux le voir? Merci.

So you're still with me?

I've borrowed this superb kitchen and at six o'clock, the chef is coming in.

I'm going to prepare a meal for him of mussels and langoustines,

but so you can see that properly, I have some basic homework first.

So, do excuse me, I've got to do my little bits of preparation...

..and get a few things happening here.

If you want to watch, you are very welcome, but I can't spend too much time with you right now.

What I can say is it's a thrill to be let loose without any questions or complaints

in one of these fabulous French kitchens.

Jacques-Yves, tu peux m'aider un peu, s'il te plait?

Tu peux les ouvrir, les trucs la? Pas de probleme.

Je crois qu'ils sont... Attends.

'It's fun, this television lark!

'I can talk to you and talk about something else at the same time!

'I'm just making a standard white sauce with butter, flour and milk.

'You've done it before, so why not go and work up an appetite?'

The sun is shining, the good life goes on apace.

Gently working up an appetite, these boules players

will soon drift off to eat, after they have argued the subtleties

of the last game. Life, like lobsters in France,

is on the street. But at noon, everything stops for food

and restaurants will fill with dustbin men and grand dames

who will munch with enthusiasm plates of crab,

scallops, clams and sole.

And clean their plates with bread and suck again on a claw.

Culinary sisters of mercy in the kitchens

create stunning tastes for you.

You see, lunch is so important in France.

It is the highlight of the day. Unlike the English

where we rush to the pub for a pint and a pie, they sip and philosophise

in splendour and encourage cooks to create even greater marvels.

Well, I hope you enjoyed your little walk around the town.

While you've been out playing, I've been very busy and I can now tell you what we're going to cook.

One of the secrets of French cooking is that menus are planned after the shopping.

You don't plan a menu before cos you might not find the ingredients

and have to make a compromise which results in a bad dish.

So if you were drifting past and saw good mussels or langoustines,

you'd buy them, THEN plan the menu.

So the menu we've planned is to use these langoustines.

I'm going to cook them in a piquant tomato sauce.

The tomato sauce that's going to go with them is complicated -

you need to use a liquidiser and chopped shallots, stuff like that.

It's a recipe you can get from any cookery book - like mine!

I cheated - I got Jacques-Yves, the chef, to make mine for me.

This is important - come in close, it's a very smooth, fresh sauce.

Just make that. Use a recipe book.

Have some of that ready.

Our other ingredients... This is a bit tricky, wander round.

..are going to be some finely chopped shallots...

and some finely chopped parsley.

Jacques-Yves has been doing garlic, he's taken the little coarse bit out of the middle.

We shall chop that up,

just crush it to get the flavour from it. OK.

We need some olive oil. It doesn't matter what make, but it must be olive oil.

Corn oil will spoil this dish.

And a bit of hot pepper sauce to really gee up the flavour.

OK, we've got all the ingredients, I'm desperate to start cooking,

so if you need to take a break, follow when you can, and I'll start cooking this wonderful dish.

First of all, into a large saute pan, a good dollop of olive oil.

Then we're going to chuck in our shallots. Note as usual,

I have the pan hot already.

Start with a hot pan, or things will boil, not fry.

We want these to fry. Then, in go the langoustines,

like that.

Sorry to cut across you. Little mixture of salt and pepper,

there's honour at stake here, I'm cooking for these great chefs

and I want this to be the best langoustine I've ever made.

I'll try and ensure that it is.

Then, let's be a bit extravagant, if I can find it...

Flambe au cognac!

It adds a je ne sais quoi Francaise so essential to these superb dishes.

Let that reduce a little and then, take care not to burn yourself...

in with the tomato sauce.

We've got this unctuous, beautiful pink sauce bubbling away there.

Let's just taste it. Always taste things.

Coming on well so far. Bit of parsley in. Look how the colour is.

We always mention colour on this programme, but it IS the essence.

If it looks good, it's probably going to taste good.

Now, a few dashes of Tabasco.

I'm using Tabasco, you could use any piquancetry you fancied.

And you stir those round...

It's important with langoustine... we're cooking for gastronomes today,

not gastronauts, YOU're the gastronauts, the unidentified frying object people...

so I'm undercooking these

they're going to be slightly undercooked and delicious.

We'll pull them off the stove now and eat them in a minute.

Real French ale - extraordinary.

I needed it! Jacques-Yves peering over my shoulders made me nervous.

I sent him off to lay the table!

I've got 15 minutes left to get this mussel dish on the road

which presumably he'll judge as harshly as the langoustine!

Just to recap, when I was in the market this morning I couldn't resist this lovely fresh spinach.

Look how tender it is compared to the stuff we get in England.

It makes a super gratin dish,

I couldn't help buying mussels.

I cooked them off, got Jacques-Yves to take them out of their shells,

so they are just lightly steamed and taken out of their shells.

Then - the treat - the real treat about being here in France is these little clams.

I bought a couple of dozen of those.

And I steamed those...

Producer, do something sensible - it's going to break.

I couldn't resist buying the clams,

steamed them open on a tray on top of a hot oven.

So I've got those, and also earlier on this morning,

you saw me make my bechamel - a white sauce, that's what it is.

Butter and flour and milk. Except, I'm going to make it richer by adding egg yolk.

And some double cream.

I cooked my spinach in the normal way, which I'll bring over to you.

That's been cooked down with no liquid at all.

Now, if you come with me, I'll whack this in the oven.

I want to get back to being Floyd on Fish and not frightened of these Frenchmen! Come on.

We've got the producer working, this is amazing!

Hope it hasn't burnt your fingers!

Has it burnt your fingers? He's holding a very hot dish!

Can you come in close? Just watch the processes here.

The clams, the mussels, the spinach, some of the bechamel.

OK. That's on a fairly hot heat.

Stir that in. Looks a bit strange at the moment - green going cream,

Now, stay where you are... Double cream into that to make it really extravagantly rich.

Then, the coup de grace is some egg yolk stirred in.

Now, if I can have my producer back with the dish...

We've only got ten minutes before the real chef comes in...

and the pudding is going to hit the fan, as they say.

I think that's what they say. Tip this into an oven-proof dish,

Doesn't that look delicious? Stir it all round so everything is evenly distributed.

I haven't got it too evenly distributed so I'll give it a stir.

Then I've got "fromage rape",

grated gruyere this is, you could use cheddar,

but try to stay with the authentic flavours. OK, that is the dish,

and it goes into a very hot oven for five or ten minutes.

Or under the grill for four or five minutes so it browns slightly.

I'll do that straight away because time is pressing on...

Jacques-Yves is coming back in a moment, his wife will be there,

this is the first time I've cooked in France for French chefs.

Is it going to be a winner or a loser? We'll see in a moment.

You don't like spinach very much? Not really.

Is it the way I've cooked it? No, I didn't know it was...!

I cooked this, and she doesn't even like spinach! What will I do now?!

What do you think of it? Superb. You like it? Honestly? Yes.

Et vous, Monsieur le chef, comment vous trouvez ma cuisine?

C'est vraiment tres bon. Regarde le camera et repete, "C'est vraiment tres bon!"

C'est vraiment tres bon.

I'm sure you understand, he actually says it's very good.

So I think I am halfway there. I had been so frightened in the kitchen

there. Now he's telling us off because I am going over the top,

as usual, and having lots of glasses of wine and having a fine time. I don't care.

Let's have some langoustines, how do they feel?

Tell you what, if we change the plates. Madame doesn't like spinach anyway.

C'est pas la peine de les manger si tu n'aime pas, eh?

J'aimais avant que tu me dise que c'etait des epinards.

C'est une surprise, quoi? Oui.

C'est une surprise. Tu as fini?

Oui, j'ai fini. Bon. On est presse pourtant.

That's the trouble, you see.

On television they won't even let you relax and enjoy yourselves.

And that is one of the big problems with the English in general.

They will rush food, whereas the French take hours over eating and having a lovely time.

Do you find, when the English people come here, do they rush? No, they just take their time.

Yeah, they are fine. Well, they are on holiday.

They are on holiday so they have everything to go for.

Mais j'espere que tu prefere les langoustines aux epinards.

Sinon, je me suicides.

But look, when you have tasted these, tell me honestly,

I really want to know, if any of you are taking French lessons from me.

Unless you know the people very well, you mustn't "tutoyer" them. It's quite rude,

you must call them vous and monsieur. But we're friends here.

I want you to tell me honestly,

if I turned up on your doorstep,

do you think you might give me a job?

Non, mais c'est parfait.

C'est parfait, oui, ecoute...

Would you give me a job? I have tried really hard to cook for you

this afternoon. Would you give me a job, even peeling the potatoes,

anything? Any time you want.

Really? You speak too much. I speak too much? And you don't eat enough.

But if you work enough, it will be all right. You see, the hard patronne.

She should be dressed in black and sit in one of those little glass cases.

Life is such fun, isn't it? Last week I was eating the sweetest

oysters of my life. And now, this week, I am in a little village that

depends on oysters for its living. And I am pleased to say that I am

actually enjoying these Portuguese type,

they're not as good as the Helford ones, of course.

Anyway, it's a very strange thing that those connected with fish

and the sea and cooking are a very special breed.

And my guide was no exception. Charming and knowledgeable. Comme d'habitude.

Ceci est une huitre d'importation. Oui.

Je veux vous couper parce que je veux exprimer quelque chose a mes spectateurs.

He just said a really beautiful thing. He said the difference

between these Portuguese oysters and the kind of flat ones that we have

in their Helford River is that these are the mushrooms

and the Helford ones are the truffles.

Isn't that nice, really complimentary?

I'm going to use it anyway.

Merci. Merci beaucoup.

C'est excellent.

Mmm.

Vraiment magnifique.

C'est bon, n'est-ce pas? Ca c'est bon.

Bon, expliquez-moi...

What a happy place. The world here is full of gastronauts, they eat fish,

they buy fish, they catch fish, they cook it, they love it,

they understand it. But where does that passion come from?

Most of my friends have never even eaten an oyster,

never mind attempted something extravagant.

But then suddenly I reckoned I'd found the answer.

THEY SPEAK FRENCH

This is absolutely incredible. It says it all.

Children in France are taught not only how to eat oysters,

but how they are grown. I don't know what we're doing in Britain. This is quite incredible.

but how they are grown. I don't know what we're doing in Britain. This is quite incredible.

I'm going to ask a little question. If you can put up with this.

Mes enfants, aimez-vous les huitres?

CHILDREN: Oui!

Voila. That's it, isn't it? What more can you want?

Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings, indeed.

And I must say, la professeur was a bit tasty as well!

Now for some real self-indulgence.

In this stylish restaurant, where monkfish takes pride of place,

I'm going to cook the best of all fish stews -

an extravagant blend of colour and the headiness of Provence.

Well, this is something else!

You may be looking at my eyes and thinking, he's in a terrible mess.

I am! France, wine... I'm afraid we overdid it a bit last night.

Notwithstanding all of that,

I'm now going to take advantage of this magnificent kitchen in a very high quality restaurant.

I'm going to cook a "bourride"

the most superb fish stew ever.

Let me show you the ingredients.

We've got a little bass,

a bit of very fresh monkfish,

some langoustines,

and look how nicely we've prepared the leeks, carrots and onions,

to make our court-bouillon, which I'll show you in due course.

Here we have an aioli, a very garlicky mayonnaise.

Essential to the dish, as we'll explain.

Come over here, please, and you will see la rouille,

it's a very, very hot, spicy accompaniment to the dish.

You can probably feel the sunshine and the heat of that on my finger.

It is brilliant - essential to the whole dish.

I've got to go the engine room where we cook the thing properly,

and you'll see the whole thing.

If you come down to this pot, I've got some water, white wine,

and the vegetable ingredients,

the carrot, leek, onion, orange and a bay leaf.

That makes a bouillon, a slightly fishy-flavoured stock,

white wine in as well and now I'm going to get the little bass.

Isn't it a sweet thing?

Fresh from the market this morning.

That goes into the pot to simmer gently away.

Equally, my little piece of monkfish, lotte,

that also goes in... and simmers away.

Similarly, just have to go over here.

Sorry to go out of shot to get the langoustines here.

They are terribly expensive but they're beautiful.

We pop those into the court-bouillon, to the stock,

return the whole dish to a low heat,

and let it simmer.

While that's simmering away, we want to take some bouillon

and put it into a much smaller pan.

This is the important bit. You stay with this, please.

We now add a little fresh cream.

Now, watch this. It's got to stir in there.

Stir it briskly at the same time so it doesn't separate.

OK, couple of things of fresh cream like that.

Now, this is the clever bit.

Remember I told you about this very strong garlic mayonnaise?

Well, it serves to thicken the fish stock and the cream,

so we should eventually end up with a beautiful sort of yellow custard,

which is the secret of this dish because we have the fish there, really simply poached,

and this brilliant sauce of garlic and sunshine gives the flavour to the whole thing.

I'll put it onto a bit more heat. You must be stirring the whole time.

It's vital, otherwise it'll curdle and separate and be disgusting.

Now, you won't want to watch me doing that for hours and hours,

so, this is Keith Floyd, Le Chalut, News at...7 o'clock? See you in a minute!

That's all poached now, so I can take the monkfish out.

Notice the monkfish is quite firm, it's not over-cooked.

Now, delicately, I must lift out the bass, don't want to break...

I might break the fish a little,

but I don't think it will impair the flavour!

And then, we'll get these beautiful langoustines out.

Gosh, they're hot.

I always like to arrange a plate so that the food is the star.

With white plates, you get the colours of the food coming through.

Talking of plates, just like everything else on Floyd On Fish, we beg, borrow and steal.

But the reason they let us in is we really care about food,

and we managed to convince them of that, that's why we're here.

Sauce over...

This is the important bit.

And then I've got to... Just stay there for a moment...

I'll bring over this magnificent rouille - this is a sunshine dish!

Look, look, look!

Yellow, pink, white and gold.

All the love, the fresh fish... Everything that Floyd On Fish is about is on that plate!

Let's hope that our host Bernard thinks it's worth the effort we've taken.

So, there is the proof of the pudding, we hope!

And Bernard... Merci beaucoup pour la cuisine!

C'est tres gentil a toi. Mais, je sais bien que tu parles anglais,

A little, just a little. This is Bernard, who runs the Chalut restaurant in Saint Malo.

He only cooks fish. He's a fabulous fish cook.

Please taste it, tell me what you think.

My reputation is on the line here! In fact, I'm going to withdraw, I'm frightened to watch!

I can't bear it!

OK? Very good.

Truly? Sure.

Maybe just a small salt.

A little more salt? Yes.

You get picked up and dropped down! For a moment he said it was good,

and then he thought about it and said "more salt". But that's the French,

and that's the difference between us in England.

We don't take care of the detail!

That's why France is so brilliant.