Episode 4 Floyd on Fish

"It was a valiant man who first adventured upon eating oysters."

Do you know who said that? It was King James I.

I know because we were playing a curious and rather trivial game.

Talking of trivial pursuits, in this fishy, fun-filled programme,

I explain the mysteries of the bouillabaisse,

how to improve your sex life and explain the contents of my case.

The oyster. The poor, crazy oyster.

These androgynous aphrodisiacs, once the staple diet of apprentices,

are now consumed by Gucci-shoed executives who swallow big deals and wine regardless of expense

and are ignorant of the labour of love here on the Helford River,

which provides the currency of their credibility.

And a labour of love it is.

In this damp, dim shed,

a beautiful girl, her fingers clad in gloves, chips away the barnacles

to make the silvery and sometimes creamy-brown shell more appealing

before they are hand graded on this clacking Victorian roundabout

and slid into the purifying tanks

to await a seaweed-wrapped train journey to Paddington.

My love of oysters - like all true love - has caused me pain.

Good friends have shied from them

and would-be lovers have said, "No, if you don't mind, I might be sick."

How sad!

I felt good, even involved, in this gentle industry

and my mouth watered as I plucked fresh mussels from the tank to cook later.

But something was wrong.

On this fine autumnal day with the drizzle falling

and the soft river lapping, I felt uneasy.

The man who owned the place was clearly

distressed by the frenetic activity of a film crew.

And it was not until we struck up

a conversation about rugby that this shy and gentle man began to trust,

and tell me about his life and work on the river.

And Lynn Hodges is passionate about that.

I am speechless.

This incredible view, and these fantastic oysters,

and you live here. I mean, you must be the happiest man in the world.

Yes, I do love my work. And I love the food I produce too.

Tell me, everybody knows oysters in the restaurants and things,

we've seen them come out the river and stuff, how old is one of these?

They vary. Between five and seven years.

It depends really on, if you get two hot summers in a row

and get a very big growth, then you will get them in five years.

But if you get cold summers, they take longer to grow. I can't...

I'm going to carry on eating these for a few moments.

You don't mind if I don't talk to you, do you?

You don't really care much about this.

What else has come from the river?

This is all your territory, if you like. Cockles? Yes, the cockles.

They are yours too? That's right. The winkles. And the mussels.

And the mussels? You going to have a mussel?

Might as well enjoy ourselves. That's right.

They are a very rich orange colour. Can you see that?

They are such a beautiful colour, these.

Last year, on my birthday, the ripe old age of 40,

I set out in a brilliant pub in Bridport, in Dorset,

to try to eat 40 oysters, one for each year of my life.

I got through 37. How much is the most you have ever eaten?

Would you eat lots and lots? Oh, yes.

I have eaten 60, 70 at a sitting.

But the ideal amount, I think, is nine, ten oysters.

One of the very important things of course is opening the damn things.

I have had a feast, I'm having a great time, I don't want to stop.

But can you just, for them, who, you know,

people who apparently can't, who want to join in our good time?

Just show them how you open the damn things.

The important thing is to make sure that your thumb is down like that.

A lot of people open it like that, then it goes into the hand and cuts.

And we've lost a good oyster eater! If you get your finger like that,

thumb, rather, like that, and you're in control...

Come down on that. He has got these big fisherman's hands

and you're not going to be able to see it unless you get...

It is a cookery programme, it is quite important,

can you put it in please? Right, thank you.

And then you cut the mussel in the centre, lift it off,

go over it like that, gently, in case you've taken any shell in.

Cut the mussel underneath, and turn it over, and bring the fat side up.

And that's a beautiful oyster, that one.

The camera man is not terribly keen on oysters,

I don't think he paid attention.

That's a beautiful oyster, that one. Plump, isn't it? Yes.

What we are today enjoying, this is all very luxurious for us.

But 100 years ago, or so, it was the staple food of apprentices

and working men and stuff like that.

It was what people ate to survive, wasn't it? It wasn't a luxury then.

No. When you go back to the 18th-century,

oysters were produced everywhere.

And in those days there were 400 million went into Billingsgate alone.

400 million into Billingsgate? Yes.

That's a very interesting, because the last time

we quoted that figure, my director said I was talking nonsense.

And it has now just been proved by an expert, Mr Pricthard.

Thank you very much, 400 million. Into Billingsgate? That's right.

How much would they have cost in those days? Very, very cheap.

I have got a letter which was sent out years ago,

and I think it was 45p for 100. Something like that.

45p, by today's rate, for 100 oysters? No, old pennies, that is.

Oh, God. And so what would they cost today?

In London now they are anything from ?5.50 to ?15 for a dozen.

Lord above. And who is making all the money?

You are not making all that money? I think everybody is making a little.

But we have got the little and leave the rest to somewhere else I think!

How would you describe the taste of them?

To me it is like sort of having a taste of scent rather than

an actual thing. There is no unpleasant texture, it is delicious.

But how would you describe it? I think it tastes of the sea.

It is fresh and leaves a lovely taste in your mouth

and gives you an appetite for your next course.

Does it give you an appetite for women? Well, I don't know.

I think the story for oysters does indicate that they

help your sex life.

I tell you what, eating these wonderful oysters,

drinking the wine, it has given me such an appetite,

I actually want to go and cook something myself now.

Can I borrow your kitchen for a moment or two?

Yes, and may I say, I have enjoyed your company very much? That's kind.

I'll lead the way. OK, off we go to your kitchen then.

Make a bit of a change from the rain.

Now we've done our bit out there

we can have a bit of fun for ourselves now.

See the importance of my black box? It's got the tools of my trade in.

If the worst comes to the worst, if the BBC goes bust, I can still get a job as a cook any day!

Actually, a cook is what I am.

I enjoyed the oysters outside, but Len did give me some mussels.

I thought it would be good if I cooked Len's mussels, which have come from the river outside.

Erica's kitchen is great.

The important thing about mussels -

it's got this bit, the beard, which it attachs itself to rocks with.

Obviously, it's inedible. It's vital to rip that off.

It's quite a hard task.

Another thing that mussels do to confound all your best-laid plans

is often they're full of mud.

If you've cooked them and one is full of mud, you've blown it.

The essential test is, with every mussel, push it sideways like that.

If it was full of mud it would have separated into two halves of mud.

Do clean off everything. If it has barnacles, scrape it with a knife.

Get them as clean as you can.

Now we want to get on with the cooking.

Erica, whose kitchen this is, cleaned some of them for me earlier.

Speeds things up.

Because mussels are fun, because you can cook them in white wine -

which is one of the ingredients of this dish - I'll open that.

That's dry white wine. If you can't afford dry white wine, use cider.

If you're going to stop eating mussels cos you've got no wine or cider, use water,

but if you can, use wine.

Other ingredients - one onion,

garlic - make sure they can see this garlic -

quite a bit of parsley - about that much - and we want some butter.

You can't economise on these things.

Chuck a quarter of a pound of butter into a pan like that.

While the butter's melting,

I'll crush the garlic. Don't peel the cloves -

you don't eat the garlic, you just use the flavour.

Don't waste your time. You could be having some wine instead of getting garlic skin under your nails.

On the subject of wine, it's a myth that you have to drink white wine with fish. Red wine is all right.

I'm going to have a drop of that...

under this intense pressure we're working under...

to eat oysters and cockles and things.

Little slurp goes down well.

Chop the onion... you can show off doing this.

Chop it finely like that... and then back like that.

Never cut your fingers

because the mess is an inconvenience.

Chop, chop, chop...as fast as you like or as slow as you like.

I'm showing off, but I'd rather you didn't and cut your fingers.

I'd rather you enjoyed the mussels. Take your time over it.

This is a cheap meal to prepare - it's a feast, as well.

Now we want all these elegantly prepared ingredients

popped in to the melted butter.

Just to remind you again, I'm sure you haven't paid proper attention,

it is parsley, garlic, onions and butter.

Right, maximum heat. I don't cook on electricity all that often.

The last thing we did was on a boat with a camping gas thing, now electricity... Anyway...

So, in they all go... all the lovely mussels.

Might add a drop of white wine.

Talking of which, I haven't had a drink for a while.

Wouldn't do me any harm to have a quick slurp...

It's hot in the kitchen so one needs a drink from time to time.

Let them stew away for a while.

You can stop because they've got to cook. Come back when I'm ready.

OK, bring the camera in. I'm going to take the lid off.

If it's all gone well, you'll see these little dreams opening up.

Now you see... Look at those bubbling away.

Always test the stuff.

God, already tasting terribly good.

I'll give those a little stir round with the thing now...

See how they're beginning to open?

Incidentally, any that don't open

after this cooking process is complete, don't eat them.

The ones that don't open are dead.

Come right in there, Malcolm. You've got lovely colours in there.

You've got a whole heart of food happening.

Ladies and gentlemen, and people who we've met on this trip

who have thought we were strange,

there you have a magnificent dish of moules marinieres.

HE INHALES DEEPLY

Gosh! OK, so there we are. The cooking is done.

We've got Erica's mixing bowl. I actually wanted fine porcelain,

but beggars, which we are, I can assure you, we can't be choosers.

Anyway, the mussels are cooked. Tip them into the bowl.

I'm not putting all the juice in so I'm using a spoon with holes in it.

We don't want to burn our little artists' fingers when we eat them.

We're going to drink the sauce a little bit separately later on.

That was one for the queen.

God, I am actually quite hungry, despite all the oysters we had earlier on...

Hold on a minute, hold it, hold it... They are hot.

Hot...

..but good!

Very, very good.

If you just hold on a minute, you just gaze at these, would you?

I want to get Erica. They're very beautiful. Erica, can you spare a moment? Erica?

Yes? Sorry to interrupt, can you come through to your kitchen?

We've left you a dreadful mess.

Come round. This is Erica. We've ruined her kitchen all day, we've trampled all over the lawn,

we've abused her oyster farm, we've used her electricity and gas,

all I have for you is - the choice is yours - some mussels or a kiss.

Ooh! Which will you have? A kiss.

Mmm! Thanks so much! We've enjoyed being here and that's everybody.

It's been great. You're welcome. Very welcome.

Can we try a mussel, too? I wish you wouldn't interrupt! It's my programme! Have a mussel, anyway!

They're quite hot. Then let me give you a little bit of juice.

I know they're in here...

Yes... Tell you what, put a little bit of juice in there, as well.

If you don't like it, tell them.

If you say you don't like it we can cut it out of the film later... Mmm!

Lovely. Mmm! Beautiful!

Thanks a lot.

BELL RINGS

The day dawned, the bell rang and fishermen with phones began to deal.

Newlyn has inspired artists for a century.

It inspired me as I picked fish for a classic French bouillabaisse.

It's a good choice as 70% of these fish are destined for France.

Tony Stephenson helped me choose the fish.

He was smiling because earlier in the day, those fishermen had pinned a terribly rude sign on my back.

Tony, hello. Morning.

You've got all this fish, but I want to make a bouillabaisse.

I don't want to use the expensive fish, like soles.

What's the sort of fish I can use that's not too expensive,

to make this fish stew? You've got this white fish.

Usually the best type of fish.

There's haddock, saithe, whiting... Saithe, I like the sound of.

What's that, a sort of coley? A coley fish, yes,

We'll stick in...what's this bag called? A fish-frail.

This is the... Whiting. We'll have a couple of those.

This is incredibly fresh fish.

Ah-ha! Actually...

What else have you got that I...? Dory, John Dory.

This is a St Pierre. This is quite fascinating, because...

It's got the forefinger and thumb mark of... St Peter. St Peter, yeah.

When he was crossing the Red Sea, he left his mark on it.

It's a very delicate fish too.

Can I have a couple of those? Yes, have two.

Ah, gurnards. Red gurnards.

What are these used for generally? Mostly crab or lobster bait.

For bait? That seems a shame. Lovely flesh. Lovely eating fish.

They're brilliant for the bouillabaisse - for the soup.

I'm having a few more.

Because they give the colour to the sauce... And the flavour.

They're gonna use them as bait if we don't buy them. That's mad!

In fact, I think it's crazy. That makes super soup.

There's one thing I really want and that's a weaver fish.

We've got a weaver down there. That's a nice fish.

Shall I get it for you? Yes, please.

That's a curious little fish. That's a weaver.

Don't prickle yourself. Why? It's got a dangerous spine there.

Which are dangerous? Any of those on top.

We'll stick him in the soup later on and avoid the pricks.

Cos there's one or two around.

Right, here we are away from the hurly-burly of Newlyn fish market.

We're back in the relative comfort of my own kitchen,

with the fresh fish we got this morning.

Today we're making a bouillabaisse.

It's one of those esoteric fish stews that travel writers

and food writers eulogise about,

that the French travel 60 miles to get and the English say

it's the best they've ever seen.

I'm going to lay all those ghosts to rest, the complications,

and the expense by using this five quid's worth of fish we picked up.

Whiting, gurnard, John Dory, saithe - unusual fish.

Our star, for those who think it can only be made in the Med,

we're gonna use the weaver fish.

Essential in cookbooks, but this is an eating lesson.

So...there it is. Our other ingredients.

You've got to follow me round. It's a kitchen. Working, you know.

Apart from the fish, what we need are some onions.

We need to have some saffron. Powdered saffron.

Don't use turmeric. If you can't afford the saffron, don't bother.

Best quality olive oil you can afford. Only olive oil.

That is essential. Then we need some freshly milled pepper.

We need sea salt, it's much better than the iodised stuff.

We need parsley, which I've already chopped.

We need tomatoes and garlic.

This dish doesn't require any wine in it,

but it does require wine in the cook.

My lucky frog and I are going to have a quick one. Cheers!

And off we go!

Right, I'll keep that handy for me there as it's very, very hot.

First, I've chopped up some of my fish.

I've taken the scales off, they've been gutted. All the nasty things have been thrown away.

But they are still on the bone - that makes them taste nicer.

We need a few more fish, so I'll prepare a couple more.

Chucking heads away as we go - another gurnard.

I think we'll have another whiting, here...

I think we'll have another whiting, here...

Which we'll trim and tuck into there.

Then we've got to prepare our chopped onion,

which will be done a little bit like this.

We want some roughly chopped up tomato - you can be as rough and ready with this as you like -

because we're not going to eat any of these parts of the soup.

These are the flavourings. It'll all be explained.

Garlic, doesn't matter if we've got the skin on.

This is a sunshine dish, this comes from the Mediterranean.

The yellow garlic, red tomatoes, golden white onions. Smashing.

You can be fairly tough - almost sort of macho about this.

Think of French Impressionist painters in the South of France.

Those are the colours we want to get and with them goes flavour.

The flavour of fish, and food and life.

Now, I'm going to transfer all this lot into my copper saucepan here.

Into the olive oil...

..go the onions and the tomatoes and the garlic.

And also our saffron.

Every little drop of that.

I'm gonna rinse it out because it's so expensive -

it's more expensive than certain unspecified substances.

It's all worth it for food, it's a drug in its own right.

Those are going to sweat down, and I'm gonna add a bit of salt.

The odd grind of the pepper mill.

One thing I don't like are those enormous pepper mills.

I think they're silly. A good sized one is very practical - nothing worse than running out of pepper.

That can simmer away for a bit, we'll put the fish in in a second.

I want to emphasise that no matter what romantic tales the food writers tell you,

this is not a gastronomic dish. This is a peasant dish.

It doesn't have lobsters and crayfish in it.

It's also a dish that food writers and pundits love to argue about.

My argument is going to be that this is going to taste delicious.

No letters, no complaints about forgetting to put mussels in

because, smartpants, mussels only go into Parisian bouillabaisse and you can't make bouillabaisse there.

Anyone who says you can't make it in this city either is wrong, too.

I know what I'm doing.

The cooking process here is very rapid, probably about 15 minutes.

To speed that up, I have got hot water - no wine, just hot water.

If you put cold water in, you'd slow down the cooking process

and ruin the effect we've achieved.

This hot water goes in, and look how it seethes up and bubbles away.

In this, I'm going to add a drop more olive oil, because the essence of this is the poached fish.

It's going to taste so good.

It's full of sunshine, yellow, full of colour, love and romance.

The oil is going to make the sauce congeal to make a soup.

Back to the bottle, because we don't do things by magic. That has to cook and I have to have a drink,

it's very hot, see you in a minute, OK.

Welcome back.

We've let that cook for a while and the taste is very good.

Don't believe me that it was good without testing for seasoning.

Adding a little more salt, it needs a little more pepper.

You can't make this dish with a few frozen haddock fillets and a tin of lobster bisque.

I think my producer would do things like that.

He's a bit of a peasant, actually, despite his immense power.

He doesn't know too much about eating and drinking.

We lift these fishes out carefully.

And they've still got the bones in.

I leave them in as they help to give a gelatinous texture to the sauce.

It's better that they're filleted after they're cooked.

Very important indeed. You can't be limp-wristed in the kitchen.

All those of you who think I'm a bit strange in a way,

can see the mighty power in my arms as I lift this 18 kilo, very expensive copper saucepan.

We're gonna throw that away, or you could eat it in an omelette.

That would be a nice thing to do with that.

While you've been away and this has been cooking,

my staff have laid the table for me, laid the chopping board.

If you bear with me for a moment, I'm going to have a bit to eat.

What shall I have?

Don't spoil it by chucking it all over some plate.

Use a white plate for this, please. Sorry to the manufacturers of coloured plates.

Food is the star and the plates are the extras.

If you pardon the mixed metaphor, they should be seen and not heard.

Little sauce over here.

Some heretics say you should also have some toast, covered with garlic, maybe.

Or some hot chilli paste to go with this, but I don't believe that.

I think that the freshness of the fish and the...

..subtle, fresh flavour...

Hm-hm...

I don't want to talk any more, I just want to have my bouillabaisse.

The best bouillabaisse England has ever seen.

I'm going to enjoy myself, see you later.

Subtitles Red Bee Media Ltd.