Florida Floyd's American Pie

There is, in fact, a downside to being an international gastronomic superstar.

I never know where I am, what's happening to me.

I arrive, I come, I go.

I'm jet lagged, I'm tired and all the rest of it.

But I'll tell you one thing which is really quite exciting.

This is an airport, Tampa Airport, and there aren't cuddly dolls,

there aren't policeman's helmets, there are real things.

Look - we're on the Gulf of Mexico, for heaven's sake.

There are beautiful clans, plump prawns,

super succulent oysters, and fat crabs' legs.

It's really brilliant, isn't it? This is like France.

Imagine it in Heathrow or somewhere.

Policemen and truncheons and Union Jack shorts and stuff like that.

Load of nonsense. This is something else.

The only trouble is, I don't know whether this is a sequence which we're going to use.

I am very tired, by the way, been flying for 13 hours, for heaven's sake.

We don't know whether we're going to say, "Hello, welcome to Florida,"

or, "Florida was really good, wasn't it? Goodbye." Either way, hi!

RADIO PLAYS: "Rubber Ball"

# Like a ru-ubber ball Bouncing back to you-u-u

# Bouncing back to you-u-u. #

The first person in Britain to open a Golden Oldies Radio Station

is going to make a FORTUNE.

This is all part of the American dream.

This is all part of Floyd's American Pie.

I've got a mobile home with a kitchen, refrigerator,

ice-making machine, stove.

I've got my motel in the back, I can go wherever I want. I am free to go.

I could stop, I can buy oranges, limes, chicken.

I'm going to cook chicken and limes, flame it in rum.

I'll go to a market and get all that, and cook it right back here.

No problems at all. Free to go, free to cook.

# Tropical drink melting in your hand

# We'll be falling in love

# To the rhythm of a steel drum band... #

Before air conditioning, Florida was an insect-ridden swamp.

Alligator hunters had a good living, but no-one would dream of holidaying there.

Times have changed and the Sunshine State, rich in fruit and fish

and bars that serve cocktails in plastic buckets,

plays host to sun-seekers from all over the world - locally known as "Snowbirds."

This is the quick spot for the architecture sketch.

Unlikely to be commended by HRH.

But it's a great place for a healthy holiday.

Fruit and vegetables better, they say, than anywhere.

The fishing boats provide the beach part and, if you have a few quid, the living is easy.

IF you can tolerate the hard sell.

Don't you agree?

Anyway, this IS a cookery show

and we're going to talk about food in a relatively serious way.

Now that I'm rich and famous I don't have to say "By the magic of television we have..."

I have people out back who leap in when I stop and prepare my ingredients.

Because this is Florida - THE Sunshine State -

I know nothing about it, so I bought a cookery book.

It said things like chicken and lime, chuck in some pineapple...

It didn't seem exactly brilliant.

So I've modified the recipe I found in the cookbook,

and decided to produce this dish, chicken with limes.

Starting with a chicken -

fillets of breast of chicken

marinated for a couple of hours in lime juice, garlic and salt.

And I've some curry powder, garlic and saffron.

Most importantly - I love the glass -

freshly squeezed lime juice, white rum cos we're near Jamaica, near the Caribbean,

celery, tomatoes which I've peeled and taken the pips out of.

It is important. So that the thing doesn't get muddled with the skin.

Butter. Some plumptuous raisins. Very sweet and succulent, they are.

They haven't been sitting on the shelf for three months.

I've some freshly cubed pineapple.

Some ordinary flour and some cornmeal.

Cornflour is an important part of American cookery, I understand.

I shall learn more as I go along. This IS my first time in America.

Pineapples, limes and a mixture of wild, brown and white rice.

Clive, you'll have problems coming in to see...

Firstly, my fillets of chicken, nicely marinated,

are dredged in the two kinds of flour.

Straight into the pan to fry.

Another one...

In we go as well. Mustn't burn the butter.

And we'll do a third one.

Right, swizzle those around.

You could make a paella for four hundred people in this pan.

Presumably that's the sort of thing people do when they're on their hols in these things.

Get those chicken pieces frying nicely away there.

Then... Because I've interpreted this dish -

it was very basically "Do this. Chuck in some celery etc. And stew it" -

I mean, it's their country, but I thought I ought to refine it down a little bit.

So, as those fry away there, I'm going to flame it in some rum...

..and hope I don't set the microwave on fire. How many caravans do you know of with microwaves inside?

ALARM RINGS Brilliant!

They've got microwaves but don't know about flambe cooking!

ALARM WAILS GLASS SMASHES

Back to business. I've got my chicken fillets in there

with a little bit of celery and my rum.

The next thing to go in is this lovely fresh lime juice.

Then, into that, we add some of our pineapple pieces

which are genuinely fresh.

If you could bite it... you would know it.

Florida sunshine...

Although it's all sharp and smooth down here, big cars and stuff, it is a little bit like Provence.

It is the last untamed area of America in terms of modern day travel and tourism.

They have these fabulous fruits and big fish and it does reflect in the cooking.

Even the JUNK food here is good. It's served with heart and a smile on its face.

Anyway, pineapple and rum...

celery and chicken pieces.

Then, into that...

add a couple of quartered, de-pipped and peeled tomatoes.

Some salt and pepper...

They like their things quite spicy here

so fairly heavy on the pepper, little bit of salt.

I thought it'd be really good fun to add some beer. American beer.

We're not in Milwaukee, otherwise I'd make that little joke

"What made Milwaukee famous made a loser out of me."

So, beer instead of stock. The Americans aren't big on stock.

They don't have bubbling stockpots, especially not in mobile homes.

That bubbles away now for 20 minutes

until the pineapple's softened, the tomato is good

and the sauce is reduced.

Then, the second phase...

So, faster than the wave breaks,

I finished the sauce by whizzing everything in the food processor.

Simple, isn't it?

I'm not one of those chaps who really likes to do decorative things.

I'm much more involved in down-home cooking, as they call it here.

But while I was here filming this sequence, Salvador Dali died,

and of course, he's very important in the St Petersburg area.

And I feel that, in a little way, Salvador,

with these raisins going on top,

Salvador would've perhaps... Might not have enjoyed the taste,

but he'd have approved of the sentiment of trying to make a sunshine dish.

Trying to make my kind of tribute to Florida,

to artists and poets and rock 'n' roll stars and all of those things.

The problem is now, I'm actually going to serve this to a man I have never met.

He's an ex-green beret. He was in Vietnam.

I don't know if he'd really go for this. But I will.

There you go, Doug. The plate's very hot, I'm afraid.

There's your knife and fork.

I've tried to make it from Floridian ingredients.

It's chicken in a lime sauce with pineapple and rice and raisins.

Do you think survival in America in the 1980s and '90s is a big problem?

I think surviving with some type of honour

and some type of dignity is a problem.

When you talk about survival,

you've got to talk about the quality of survival.

That's what I look for for everyone.

I live down on the river.

The people who live down there with me,

almost all of them are Vietnam vets. We take care of each other.

We have a lot of quality.

Primarily because of the way we relate to each other.

All right, OK. You're a tough man, you been in the Congo, Vietnam.

I'm a tough guy. I'm going to take it from you.

What did you think of my interpretation of a Floridian dish?

I was trying to cook some chicken with some limes and rice and stuff like that.

Everything was done, texture and everything was fine,

just a little bit too much lime.

Little bit too much lime. They always do that to me.

Do you know - this IS the Provence of America, because in Provence

they used to say, "brilliant, well cooked, well presented, well done.

"A little bit too much salt." Here, too much lime.

I haven't had so much fun since pigs ate my little sister.

The best time to fish for grouper, so the guide book tells me,

is when an incoming tide coincides with a rising barometer.

I only wish we'd read that particular book before we set off

with my latest chum Captain Jack Powell

and the latest in hi tech fishing gear.

I might have been imagining things.

When you've been in the desert as long as I have, you start imagining things.

They say the sun gets to you. It hasn't affected me.

Just as well with these damn hedgehogs!

Jack, is there any piracy around here, modern-day pirates?

Yeah. Now, pirates, I have lost six friends to pirates.

They have found their boats in Mexico and South America.

Without, of course, the crew on board. And they are killed.

We do have one good pirate.

I haven't heard anything about him lately.

Instead of killing you, when they would take your boat,

commercial fishing boats, which they use to run drugs,

they would drop you off out on the King Ranch over in Texas,

which is the largest ranch in the world.

And it's a two-day walk to any civilisation. That's a good pirate?

Yeah, they wouldn't kill you. No. They just take your boat.

You got a nice one here!

This is a 3? lb grouper, Jack.

It looks closer to four(!)

Fighting like a little snapper.

Just follow the line up.

We got a grouper. A little grouper. A little one.

This is a little one. Yes. But it is a real one. Yes.

We had to abandon trawling and Jack whacked on the live bait.

To find why they weren't hitting. Were we using the wrong bait?

Well... We'll drop that down again. I'll stick him in the live pail.

We have at least lunch. Yes, we do.

That was a red grouper - we want a black one.

The hours drip slowly by and we only had a few small fish.

I'd been looking forward to landing a hundred-pound grouper.

Happily, the ice-box was well stocked. Hemingway would have been proud of us.

In search of the legend of Zelda and Scott Fitzgerald, I checked into their former stomping ground -

the Don Cesar Hotel, only to be lumbered with another cooking sketch

with my latest chum, Jean-Louise Chalet.

And to help him here's me frying some fresh red snapper.

All right? Some vegetables! What'll we provide today?

I have a julienne of mixed veg. Is there much improvisation in the American kitchen?

I've seen the short-order kitchens where it's all punched out to a ticket. Here, you're winging it.

You must improvise. You must know your basics.

You must know the practical side, must have knowledge and training.

Cooking is a flair with lots of finesse and lots of knowledge.

But, yes, you must improvise.

Can we have a close-up, Clive?

What have we got in here?

You have some shitake mushrooms, a julienne of peppers,

some enokis, and a julienne of zucchinis.

This is an international programme. What are enokis?

Enokis are a kind of Japanese mushroom, now grown in California. These...

Delightful. We use these in salads, on fish...

Miniature long-stalked mushrooms!

Exactly. Now we grow them on the west coast. And the caviar?

It's in the sauce. Could I have some?

I have this terrible weakness for caviar.

Sorry to interrupt, but this is America,

and they have it by the kilo! It's one of my favourite things.

I'll add some caviar to the sauce.

Nice Beluga caviar.

I'll put in a little bit more.

I love caviar and champagne.

It IS your birthday. It is.

We'll overlap this, like this...

As I said earlier, this is a local snapper - an outstanding quality of fish.

I'm getting to know the Florida sea food quite well now.

I'll put this on the side to let it sweat. Get the fat off.

This is not a very high calorie item here.

It's a typical unleaded American dish.

It's got a million bucks' worth of caviar over it.

We add a bit of Southern corn. Hey, that's good.

Let's put this little puppy on to make a nice presentation.

'Very interesting. And much sought after by the blue-rinsed punters of St Pete's, I'm sure.

'But it ain't what we call rock 'n' roll.

'Meanwhile, on the ocean, Floyd has hooked a big one. Now, read on...'

Please don't let me lose this one.

Every time I've had a good fish in five TV series, I've always lost it.

20lb salmons, 18lb pikes...

He's running. I don't think he knows he's hooked, he's playing with you.

We got the biggest fish of the day on the lightest line and tackle.

It's the most fun.

It is the most fun. He's running every bit of line out.

He is! This is like The Old Man And The Sea.

We'll come back three days later and you'll still be fighting him! THEY LAUGH

Don't laugh. Don't laugh. He's going.

He doesn't want to come. Get him turned.

Come on, now.

No? No.

It's a nice one. This is a nice one.

Don't worry about bending that rod. Won't hurt at all.

This thing will be too big to eat.

It's starting to pull the boat around.

I could save on gas like this!

Will someone light me a cigarette? To hell with not smoking on TV.

This has taken nearly all my line.

I'll have to start the motor and go chase him.

Thanks, old bean.

THEY LAUGH

I got to go chase him.

Evander Preston is 6' 2", an ex-rock session musician.

He's 50 plus. Nicknamed Moses and he has a fancy about being looked after by dwarves.

He is also a former president of the American Food and Wine Association.

These frogs' legs are enormous! Are they local? They sure are.

I've been in hundreds of kitchens but never seen a stove like this.

It's a cross between a Chinese cooker, a paella dish...

It's designed to do what we like to do. We can use bowl-shaped deep fryers

or we can put pans on. We have water running across to keep it clean and cool.

A little sewage system on the back. It totally cleans itself.

Plus we have water that comes out...

It gives us whatever we want.

Very, very swish. It's superb.

You might have a problem finding these succulent fillets in Tesco's or Sainsbury's.

It's not veal, or beef. It's alligator.

I've been cooking for about 30 years, but I've never cooked 'gator burger before.

In Florida, 'gator burgers are part of a cracker feast.

What's a cracker feast?

Cracker is our pioneer Florida food that we've been involved with for the last 90 or 100 years.

The things we have in our area that we've learned to eat and be creative with.

What is a cracker? A cracker is someone born and raised in Florida.

It's also from the whip where they crack and catch rabbits. They caught them? Yes.

Yeah!

If you want a cracker banquet, Evander is your man.

If you fancy a gold train with a cargo of diamonds, Evander is your man.

His latest passion is to form the International Eccentrics' Club.

Call HIM to join, not me.

What have we here? What's this?

Black-eyed peas are very important. It's our New Year good luck thing.

Are these the peas that Tallahatchie Bridge lady was singing about? Yes.

"Pass me the black-eyed peas". Exactly.

And this? Armadillo. The armour-plated animal.

That's a gumbo.

People at home get really upset about eating alligators,

about eating armadillos...

What is the justification for eating what WE consider to be preserved wildlife?

Probably the alligators have eaten a lot of us. And there are an incredible amount of armadillos.

We're thinning out the population. It isn't a conservation issue? No.

No letters, please!

This looks like an Indian pilau.

A dirty rice. That's squirrel sausages fried with rice.

I've only been in America three days and I'm already eating squirrel, armadillo, alligator.

What WILL this programme give us by the time we reach California!

What's this? Venison with black jack sauce.

That's made with Jack Daniels liquor. A drinking man's dish.

Those squirrel sausages were great.

The potatoes and green beans

have been a great staple in the lifetime of our people.

They're quite sweet. Delicious.

We're going by a shrimp gumbo. Incredible with a biscuit.

There's whole shrimp in there. This is soul food. Absolutely.

Jambalaya, crawfish pie and file gumbo. I can't believe this. What are these?

Florida egg rolls made with crab meat

to dip in one of our Florida sauces made from mango.

Traditional Florida Jambalaya-type of sauce.

That? Those are probably our lowest price veg. I'm going to call this Floyd on Florida!

I don't see any good reason to go anywhere else. Back to our 'gator burgers!

He's going down. Heading for the rocks.

He's running again! He's running for the rocks.

Jack, I can't do anything to this!

It's taking back line off me.

I can't... If I go any tighter..

All we can do is...

Awww!

We tried.

It was a good...

# Ain't that a shame!

# My tears fell like rain

# Ain't that a shame

# You're the one to blame. #

I've always wanted to be on a desert island.

I fought with that fish. I tried with that fish. I cried for that fish.

Some days there just ain't no fish.

We were talking about grouper. Here are some fillets of grouper.

This is actually the one I caught.

I made a little sauce which I'll show you...

It's onions, limes. It's American white wine.

All with a bit of flour, cooked down with butter to enrich it and make it look good.

And, by the way, it IS good.

You eat this fish and tell me if it's good.

If you want to stay in the programme...

we can always edit you out if you don't like this dish.

Which I have tried very hard to make.

It's difficult...just a little of that lime sauce over there.

Just to try to make it look prettier a slice of lime.

A little bit of dill on the side. You need a fork. There we are.

For me, I don't know what you think,

that is, for me, Florida on a plate. But it's down to Jack, Captain Ahab.

Like Bob Dylan said, "I saw three ships coming my way."

They said "Where are you going?" He said "America."

And he said "Good luck."

OK, here we go.

M'mm. That's incredible.

Jack, if I HAD landed that fish, what would have happened?

If it had been a world record, being a member of IGFA,

in endorsements it would be worth about a million dollars to a million and a half dollars.

And you're still talking to me? How close were we?

I'd say we were pretty close.

I saw my new boat and everything else.

But that's all right. I'll try again tomorrow.

I've got the Bible, Shakespeare, and eight Stranglers records.

What I really want, Sue, is that fish. See you next week.

Subtitles by BBC - 1989