Episode 3 Hairy Dieters: How to Love Food and Lose Weight

We're a couple of blokes with a mission in life.

To cook great tasting food all of us can relish.

We're the Hairy Bikers.

And there's less of us than there used to be.

WOLF-WHISTLE

'Six weeks back, Si and I got some sobering news.'

38.1% fat!

You're classified as obese.

The only way of losing this weight is to reduce the calories you take in.

'Confronted with the big, fat truth, we've embarked

'on a three-month mission to lose two-and-a-half stone.'

Just step on them, Kingy, step on, it'll be fine.

'And our families are with us through the ups and the downs.'

He goes angry, he shouts at you for a little bit,

then he's happy again, it's really, really strange.

Camembert, brie, mozzarella!

When Dave's hungry, he gets a little bit stroppy.

I can't have cheese, and I love cheese!

'In this series we've set ourselves a challenge of reinventing

'the food we love, making it small on calories, but big on flavour.'

It's that sizzle in the morning. You don't have to give it up.

'Dishes so mouth-watering we can look forward to mealtime

'and to a leaner, lighter us.'

You could eat all those and not get fat.

'It's not just our taste buds getting a workout.'

'We've ditched our motorbikes in favour of pedal power.'

'I'm loving it!'

'But I'm finding it a bit of a pain in the backside.'

I've got to get some gel seats for these.

'Getting to grips with our new life

'means coming to terms with our past weight issues.'

I think it went wrong when I went to college.

I discovered curry and beer.

I was a stone for every age.

I was nine stone at nine,

I was 10 stone at 10, I was 11 stone at 11,

-and that's when it stopped.

-That's big for an 11-year-old.

'Before we started our weight-loss journey,

'we were on around 3,500 calories a day.

'In our first month we cut back to 1,300.'

'But then doctors orders.'

You have to cut back your food even more to keep up the same rate of weight loss.

'We're now down to 1,200 calories in a bid to keep shedding the pounds.'

'By cooking clever, we've already created delicious,

'light versions of the food we love to eat when we're at home.'

'It's been doing the business, too - after a month I'd lost a stone.'

Brilliant! Get in!

'There was nearly a stone-and-a-half less of me.'

-You see?!

-Wow!

'Joining us is a bunch of like-minded foodies - the big eaters.

'We're supporting each other in our quest to lose weight and still love food.'

Everybody's so motivated now, so I think now it's a time

we can really, really get going and, um...

melt some lard!

That looks bloody good.

'This gastro band of brothers and sisters

'are helping us to road-test our recipes.'

'And coming up with some gems of their own.'

This is really nice.

'So far in our culinary adventure we've cracked low-cal breakfasts,

'Sunday lunches, and hearty suppers, so we're sorted.'

'Yes, but eventually you've got to go out in the big wide world

'and eat somebody else's food. And lurking out there

'is a minefield of full-fat temptation just waiting for us.'

'Well, there's nothing for it, mate.

'We can't lock ourselves up for ever, so we need to reinvent

'the food out there that we love, yet still lose weight.'

-TEARFULLY:

-Can we go now?

'We'll reengineer fully loaded meat pies...'

-Kingy, it's a pie.

-That's a pie, dude.

'..into skinny pies.

'Streamline the doorstep sandwich...'

Belter. That's a good packed lunch.

'..and create light but tantalising takeaways.'

-I'm doing Indian!

-I'll do the Chinese! Hai-yah!

'You know, Dave, us Brits can't resist smacking, eating out,

'takeaways and fast food - it's a national obsession.

'Just last year, we munched through nearly £50 billion worth of food,

'neither prepared nor cooked by ourselves.'

'And we're paying the price for giving into temptation.

'The proportion of obese blokes like us

'has nearly doubled in less than two decades.'

'Leading the glamorous TV highlife has meant years of indulging

'our food urges and giving in to temptation out on the road.

'And it shows.'

'That's right.

'We couldn't resist our bacon sarnies slathered with butter,

'or blowout pub lunches and lavish, late-night takeaways.'

I love curry.

You should film him sometimes ordering takeaway,

he just doesn't stop.

Even the person he's on the phone with

sometimes tell him, "I think that's enough!"

Got to find a way of having it on our diet!

'But, Dave, we have to ask ourselves, is it possible

'to stay within our 1,200 calories a day limit

'and deliver the tempting treats we miss so much?'

'Now we're halfway through our weight-loss adventure,

'the challenge is to find the willpower to keep going.'

It's good, this, there's no calories in an ice cube, dude.

-You know what I mean?

-Yeah.

That one.

'And when I'm wavering, I've got my little trouper

'to remind me of why I'm doing this.'

Being healthier and losing more weight

makes my dad feel really happy, you can tell.

Like, it makes him really, like...

well, happy.

Well, do you know what that is?

Smoothie.

Mm-hm. Going to be leaner, meaner, faster and fitter.

-Aren't we?

-Yeah.

-Which would be great for your rugby.

-Yeah.

And it's good for me just walking around!

At the moment I think Si's finding it quite difficult.

I think sometimes he probably feels hungry.

There are foodstuffs that he probably craves, you know.

I think that is making his mood swing.

'Some days, when I get on the scales,

'I feel like I've hit a weight-loss wall.'

I've lost a pound.

It's not easy, losing a pound.

Not at this point in the game, you know.

I tell you what the problem is -

yesterday, because Dylan has diabetes

he has two have a certain amount of carbohydrates,

so what I did for him, um...

I did him a steak sandwich.

And as I was cutting it, the amount of willpower it took

for me to go to Dyl, "I'm sorry, you haven't got a sandwich,

"BECAUSE I'VE EATEN IT!"

was a lot.

But I did it all the same, and went and had an apple.

'At the moment, I'm just taking every day as it comes.'

'I've read that one of the benefits of getting leaner

'is increased testosterone, the hormone essential for health,

'well-being and other good things.'

Look at that.

Look at that, rock.

Go on, hit me, hit me.

Hit me, look at that, cast iron. I've got ribs and everything now.

He's a happy person, he's starting to be a happy person now.

Look at you, chocolate.

No! I don't want it.

He doesn't want it.

'He's more confident'

in the way he looks,

and I think that makes a big impact on his, um...

..psyche.

And, yes, he's more attentive and, um...

What can I say?

What did you tell the doctor, then?

That I'm feeling a bit more, you know, frisky.

SHE LAUGHS

Except you're into chocolate and white wine,

so it's neutralising the effect, really.

No, it doesn't! Chocolate is an aphrodisiac.

What about the white wine?

For me, it is.

Ah.

We're on a win-win then, aren't we?

'Me and Kingy are more the norm, not the exception,

'when it comes to being lardies.

'Nearly two in three of us Brits are overweight or obese.'

'And we've discovered that having the support of a group

'is the most effective way to lose weight,

'so we've started our own the big eaters.'

'They all love their food and want recipes to help them

'win the battle of the bulge, but before joining our gang

'big-eater Liz had already lost over 12 stone.'

This picture is of me

with my younger brothers and sisters I'd say about five years ago.

I was probably about 22 stone there.

I did get up to 25 stone 10.

I was eating a lot of fast food, takeaways.

I'd never really started cooking proper food for myself before.

So this is my salmon.

'Liz has been cooking our new dishes and creating her own

'slimline meals to help shed her last couple of stone.'

Stick that in there. Right, tea's ready.

So we've got salmon, we've got broccoli, sweet potato,

green beans, cabbage and carrots.

There we go. Yum.

'Like the rest of the gang, chef Andrew is determined to fight the flab,

'but he's decided not to follow our recipes,

'he's creating his own.'

Everybody else is counting calories.

For me, that's not the way forward.

I'm following a diet that's very well-known,

and I believe the proof will be in the pudding.

'It wasn't all success at the scales at the end of our first month.'

-Oh! I've put weight on!

-It's not that much, though.

-Three pounds off for you.

-I'm embarrassed now.

You put six pounds on! You see?

'Our new mates are definitely going to need some motivating, Si.

'Big-eater Anne's got a lot to lose, at over 19-and-a-half stone.

'You know, she was once a svelte eight-and-a-half.'

'She's lost a couple of pounds so far,

'but I think she might be struggling.'

'Why do you think she's finding it so hard?

'She's got a good, healthy outdoor job running a fishing lake.'

'Let's investigate.'

Come on, lads, I'll show you the bait shop and tuck shop.

-Ah. Is this your nemesis?

-It is.

Don't touch it! Don't touch it, Anne!

Once opened, you've got to eat it.

So, just go through your normal day.

So, you'd come in here and you're faced

-with this plethora of temptation...

-Seven o'clock in the morning, we open.

Till eight o'clock at night.

The two times I have a problem with, getting up at five o'clock,

get your breakfast early, then at 11 o'clock,

I'm really, really feeling my blood sugar's going and I need something.

If I've got one of these open, I'll have one square.

What about not having that square?

-Just don't have it.

-Right.

Just for the meantime, because if it's not satisfying you...

-It's not, and I feel guilty.

-Well, stop it, then.

I know, I must admit, when you look - 560 calories. And do you know,

I spent half an hour on my treadmill, and I'm dead slow, I really am

46 calories I burnt in half an hour!

And I thought... And I'd ate that!

And I thought, "Cripes!"

And that's my other killer.

"Per 30 grams serving."

Who has a serving of crisps? You have a bag!

And I used to eat two of them and three of them a day. Plus my food.

Crumbs.

'Ooh-er! Anne's got a real dilemma,

'surrounded all day by the devil's snacks.'

'I know!

'One of those chocolate bars and a bag of crisps -

'that's around 500 calories.

'That's nearly half our whole day's allowance!'

I need a favour asking.

I need to be able to take something out, something that'll help us

stop picking on the chocolates, on the crisps.

I need something that's savoury,

not massively...

fattening,

that'll help us with my hunger pangs.

'Now, how are we going to help Anne, Dave?

'Well, she's a hard-working northern lass,

'and what have folk around these parts been eating for centuries?'

'Ooh, mouth-watering, substantial and golden -

'lovely pies, dude!'

'That's right! But a slimline pie? Surely it's an impossibility.'

They love pies, absolutely love them.

It is quite a northern thing.

Everything surely is better in a pastry case.

'34 million of us Brits eat a pie at least once a week day,

'but they're calorific.

'There's over 700 calories in a pork pie,

'and around 650 in a chicken and leek.

'But, remember what Professor Ashley told us

'40% and more of what we were eating before was fat.

'and we know there's lots of it in a classic pie.

'But just how bad can it be?'

'Well, there's a man in my neck of the woods who'll know.

'Russell Walsh has been making award-winning,

'handmade pies at his family-run shop for 24 years.'

Russell?

-Hello, girls.

-Hello, guys.

-Hello.

-Hello. Nice to see you again.

-Good morning.

-Nice to see you, mate.

What can you do to make a low-calorie pie?

How do you do it?

I don't know if it can be done. I don't know if it can be done.

'Oh, flaming Nora, that's an encouraging start!'

'Aye, shall we get our coats now?'

This is where we make all the pies.

Oh, is that PIE-thagoras?

LAUGHTER

Flour, lard, salt.

I think all three of us, as cooks, we all agree that lard does make

-superb pastry, especially for savoury items.

-Without a doubt.

The texture and everything's great.

Lard's got lower saturated fat than butter - would you believe it?

And secondly, I say lard is good fat

because it's none of your hydrogenated rubbish.

'Clearly, what makes a pie a pie is its pastry,

'and it's plain as day that's where our problem lies.'

But you know, there's no getting away from it, Russell,

that's quite a high fat content.

Oh, absolutely.

Which gives you that crumbly, golden crust that we all love so much.

What would the calorie count be, say, do you know,

of one of your average, like a meat and veg?

About 800 calories.

'800?! Crumbs!

'Right, we'll have to cut those in half,

'but how can we do that and keep the unctuous flavour?'

Look at that, it's like a supermodel's inner thigh, isn't it?

I reckon we've lost off our bellies

10 times the amount that's in that pot.

10 times!

How are you going to make a low-calorie pie?

Quite. Quite.

Look at his face.

You're not convinced, are you? I can see in your face.

I'm not sure. A pie's a pie.

-A pie's a pie.

-I know, man, but we want one, and we're fat!

-Have you not had any yet?

-No!

Steady on, Russell, there's no room for pies and prejudice.

Oh, no!

They're coming out all day, these, you know, they are!

'That Russell thinks we're bonkers, Kingy.'

'Right, mate, let's try and prove him wrong.'

I think the Potster has thrown down the gauntlet, hasn't he?

That's it. "You can't make a pie a like that."

If it's got a crust, it's portable, and it's got to be top and bottom.

The thing is, you could be kind of frugal and say,

"Well, just put a pastry top on." You can't eat it.

I mean, think of Anne, sitting out there with a fishing rod.

She wants a pie.

'Russell's lard is out, Kingy.

'I don't want to go back to the good doctor

'and hear my percentage body fat's gone up, not down!'

'I never want to hear "you're over 40% fat" ever again!'

Why don't we start with what we know?

So we'll start with the classics, onion, celery, carrot.

Building blocks of flavour.

Potatoes!

Good, lean mince, stock, and a few embellishments,

just to beef that flavour up.

-Yeah, chillies!

-Yeah?

-Chilli beef meat and potato pie.

Now, there's no oil in here, so we're dry-frying this.

'Dry frying is second nature to us now.'

'But lean mince still has some fat in it,

'which helps the veg caramelise and gives it a lush, meaty flavour.'

You know, I still think my favourite pie is meat and potato.

-It's a classic.

-Yeah, you cannae whack it, can you?

It is just quintessentially the pie of pies.

'We're all right with the filling,

'but it's the pastry that's the elephant in the room.'

'Hey, Dave, if you take the butter or lard out of pastry,

'what you've got is essentially a bread dough.'

'True, Kingy, or - even better - pizza dough.'

Ready-bought pizza base mixes.

They're really low in fat.

Basically, it's a bread dough mix, but it's a pizza,

-so it's bread dough you can roll out.

-Yeah.

All we do is add the hot water,

according to the instructions on the packet,

make a dough, and use that instead of pastry.

-Well, that's good, because it's malleable...

-Yeah.

-..it's tough...

-Yeah.

..it's low in fat, as you said...

Yeah, no butter, no lard, as there would be in ordinary pastry.

..and it browns nicely.

'It's a plan, Kingy.

'But will it give us that scrumptious,

'chewy texture of a real, full-fat pie?'

You know when this diet's finished, Kingy?

I'm going to weigh up bags of rocks till I get to what I've lost.

And then just sit and look at it.

Yeah, and then make myself lift it and run up the stairs with it,

just to remind myself that's what will happen again if I put it all back on.

'On this low-cal adventure, our mantra is flavour,

'flavour and more flavour.

'There's no need for slimline food to be dull,

'so we're adding ketchup, brown sauce and Worcestershire.

'And, for spice, chilli flakes and chilli powder.'

Give it a good stir, and the stock will help cook the potatoes.

Again, no calories in pepper.

'Actually, there is, Si. Not many, but they all count.'

If this crust works, I'll be made up.

Cos I think we thought this was going to be one of the biggest dieting challenges, didn't we?

Without a doubt, mate.

And particularly with the pressure of the pie-master, do you know what I mean?

That looks like a really good pie filling.

Dave, honestly, it's just the loveliest, loveliest of flavour.

Put your finger in that and have a taste of that.

Sweet, savoury, lush.

'We need to make sure our pie is skinny,

'but we're not scrimping on the filling.

'Every little bit extra will add to the taste sensation.'

Just a big spoonful of pleasure in each pie.

One...

Two...

There's no half measures for our Anne, you know.

We want these little beauties to be a feast

for the eyes, as well as the belly, so I'm brushing them with milk.

For just a few calories, it'll turn them a lovely brown-golden colour

just like the real thing.

So, here we go.

Look, I've lost weight - look at me watch.

Look at that, it's hanging.

-Nice.

-Oh! We've just got to wait and smell it.

Shall we go and run around the garden? Come on.

Come on, it's nice, you haven't been there for ages. Chase me.

'Catch me if you can!

'Will you stop showing off, Myers!'

-You've got some nice plants.

-Aye.

Oh!

-Oh!

-Is it poppable?

Yes! It's a pie.

-Kingy, it's a pie.

-That's a pie, dude.

Do you think it could be any more golden? It looks like a pie.

-That looks like a pie. It looks like a pie.

-It's a pie.

-A pie that you get out of a tin.

-Yeah.

It's pie-fect, look, and it's got a gravy ooze on the top.

-What does it feel like?

-It feels like a pie of substance.

-Feel it.

-Oh, yeah.

But it's more than a pie, and less than most,

it's 300 calories.

'335 to be precise, Dave! We've made it - and more!

'That's less than half of Russell's full-fat pies.'

The average man intake is 2,500 a day.

In theory, you could eat all those and not get fat.

Oh... Oh...

Mmm.

Well, it's true what they say.

There are deep, unbridled...

-base pleasures when eating a pie.

-Yeah.

-And this one is no exception.

-No.

We did it, Kingy. Let's hunt down Anne so she too can share

in the pleasures of guilt-free pie.

-It's like big-game hunting but with pies for bait.

-Isn't it?

MUSIC: Theme from "Born Free"

-What's she got, Kingy?

-Oh, she's eating something.

Oh, no, what is it?

I bet it's something like a humongous chocolate bar.

Flaming Nora!

-What has she got?

-She's eating a banana.

-You're joking?

-No, I'm not.

She might be eating a banana

but can you see that bubble above her head, she's thinking about pies.

-Good morning, Anne.

-Morning, Anne.

-Good day, good day.

-Hello, darling, how are you?

-Champion. Lovely to see you.

-You're looking trimmer.

We, I think, are about to present you with a food epiphany.

Something that you can be naughty with but...

Guilt-free. Guilt-free.

-Sounds nice.

-Close your eyes.

It's a hot, deep filled, guilt-free pie.

-Oh, that looks scrumptious!

-Doesn't it?

Oh, God, it's a long time since I've eaten a pie.

Mmm...

Mmm...

Do you know what I mean?

-It is delicious.

-Good, eh?

-It is excellent.

Oh, good, because you were our acid test.

THEY LAUGH

That's coming in at around about 300 calories.

That's scrumptious. Sorry, lads, but it's lush.

She's the best food critic we've ever had.

It is fantastic.

'Hopefully, our skinny pies will stop Anne's little pinkies

'from dipping into the chocolate, but temptation is always the monkey on your back

'when you're watching the calories.'

That's right, Kingy.

Big-eater Laura, who plays second row for her local rugby team

is made of stern stuff.

She's lost a couple of pounds so far but she's finding it tough going.

Right, it's 7:30 in the morning, I've turned up to work

to set up for a festival, and look at what I am greeted with.

My work colleagues have all got themselves bacon sandwiches

and are eating the bacon sandwiches in my face.

I've come in from work

and look what's waiting for me.

Kay has decided to do some home baking so...

Yeah, thanks, family, really supportive, helping me there.

It's not putting temptation right in my face, or anything, no.

Now we have our skinny pie, Kingy, the rest of the gang and us

are armed and ready to resist those moments of weakness,

the ones that can wreak havoc on your waistline.

This flaming bike's wreaking havoc on my knees!

Come on, Kingy, you know what Professor Roy says,

exercise is important, too.

'I've got to admit it, going back to Newcastle University and hospital

'to check in with the doctor again gives me the jitters.

'The first time we met he told me that I was well up in the obese category

'and I don't feel like the weight's been flying off recently.'

-Si, Dave...

-Hello, Dr Roy.

-It's just fantastic to see you.

And looking so brilliantly fit. How are you doing?

I think the first two weeks there was a rapid weight loss

that kind of felt, "Crikey, this is going on."

I think, we've done so well, we're just over halfway.

It's the last six weeks.

Yes, because from now on, any weight that you lose

is virtually pure fat.

And, so you're going to find that the rate at which you're losing weight does slow down.

The Bod Pod will show you what percent weight is now fat

because you remember you started, Dave, at just under 39%.

-Si, you were 42% fat.

-It's like human foie gras, really.

Human fois gras. Well, today we'll see just what percent fat you're down to.

Let's do some measurements. Open the pod door.

'Time for the Bod Pod, Si!

'Last time we learnt that it works on our old mate Archimedes' principle.

'But instead of measuring bath water, it cunningly detects the air

'displaced when you sit in it, to work out percentage body fat.

'It doesn't like me, though.'

And if you'd like to pop out, Dave.

Oh, oh!

-What?

-The answer is

you are now 25.6% fat!

-No!

-Yes!

-25?

-25.6.

-It was 39% on it before.

-Yes, it was 39%.

It is very heartening, when you get that figure

that you are made up of the best part of 39% of fat,

the fact that within seven weeks you can turn that down to 25%, without starving,

without knocking yourself silly,

it's worth doing.

Fabulous! Ee, God, what a result.

Good result. Good result.

-Si?

-Yes.

Very good, on with the show.

Open the Bod Pod door.

Oh, and you've gone down from 42

-to 32.

-Right.

So that is a substantial change in percentage fat.

42 to 32.

-Blooming heck, that's brilliant.

-That is good, isn't it?

That's very good.

This is a real difference in body composition, 32%.

That's getting on the way for 50/50 but down to 32, that's substantial.

'Professor Roy told us last time that after a few weeks, weight loss

'slows down, and if you want to keep losing fat at the same rate,

'we need to cut back further on the calories

'and build exercise into our everyday lives.'

So, cycling, that's really quite important.

It's easy to keep on doing it for a long time

because it's basically a relaxing, regular rhythm and, of course,

in terms of shifting the fat, it's the duration of physical activity

that is really the important thing.

So bicycling, fabulous exercise to do for a reasonable period of time,

enjoy the day, burn off the fat.

-Thank you very much.

-Thanks, Doctor.

'The healthy body-fat percentage for a man is between 10 and 19.

-'We're getting closer, Kingy.

-We are, mate, we are.'

There's a way to go yet, though.

Doctor's orders, more exercise is the way forward, Kingy.

I remember the bike rides I used to do as a lad.

20-odd mile treks, they were, up in the Lakes.

I loved it, just me, the open country, a cheese sandwich

and a bag of crisps. It will be fantastic to do that again.

Well, if we're heading for the hills, Dave,

we won't be stopping for our hearty pub lunch, that's for sure,

but we'll need something to satisfy our appetites

after a hard day's bike ride.

Oh... Look at the combi cob.

Sun-dried tomato bread, focaccia, multi-grain rye,

-for alfresco eating. This is the glue that binds.

-It is.

That bread, broken open with your best buddy, with cheese

and a glass of wine. Oh...

And it makes any meal portable.

It does, that's the thing because that's what you need on a picnic.

It's food for thought but at the minute it's food for fantasy.

Look at that one with sun-dried tomatoes. Oh...

Can we go now?

Just one naughty freshly baked Cornish pasty is 500 calories

and a sausage roll, it's not far off that either.

That's nearly half of our daily allowance. We've got to crack a slimline picnic,

otherwise temptation could just get the better of us out on the road.

I'm wondering what the Myers has in mind.

'Not a 50-mile round trip, I hope.'

-How are the beasts?

-We're pumped.

I've pumped.

It's not the same as rigging the motorbikes up, is it?

-Where are we going?

-Tarn Hows.

We should go there, Kingy.

It's just one of the most beautiful places on the planet.

That's a bit of a slug up and down to Bowness, that way.

Think what Dr Roy said, just something that can be sustained,

you're not breaking your neck, over a period of hours,

you get a grand day out and now we're a bit lighter, we're fitter.

I think we'll have a right good crack.

What are we going to do for our pack-up?

-The pack-up has to deliver flavour...

-Yeah.

-..nutrition...

-Yeah.

..satisfaction and not make you fat.

Right.

So fish and chips is out of the question, then?

Most definitely. But fish - tuna's not.

No, we like a bit of tuna.

-Could have an egg.

-Put some sort of vegetable...

-Olives.

-I've got it.

-Yes.

-What about a Nicoise?

I want to sink my teeth into something substantial,

not just pick at a salad. And it'll need to be portable.

Using bread will add over 200 calories, though,

even without butter.

A wrap!

-A what?

-A wrap.

Oh, yeah.

It's funny, isn't it, it's not the first thing I think of.

I always think of, like, bread.

-I've started buying wraps now.

-Have you?

-Yeah, because they've much less calories than bread.

'In fact, Kingy, a low-cal wrap is under half the calories of two slices of white.'

This is good - tuna fish, not in the oil, but in spring water.

It's protein-packed power food.

That'll save us a few calories, too.

I'll top and tail the green beans.

-Very good, you can't have a Nicoise without the green beans.

-No.

'What about a vinaigrette, Dave? I'm salivating just saying it.

'Ah, but we cannot use olive oil, can we?

'Let's try some low-fat mayo

'but pack it with flavour by adding some capers and gherkins.

'I love the veg in a salad Nicoise, delicious beans and baby spinach,

'chopped tomatoes, a few olives, topped off with a hard-boiled egg

'and wrapping it all up makes it feel

'less like a salad and more like a real plate of food.'

Do you not think this is a bit big?

No, I think it's brilliant.

-Do you know how many calories are in that?

-Go on.

Each one is 300 calories, worked out to the last olive.

'One of the nation's favourite sandwiches, the BLT,

'comes in at 630 calories - more than double.'

I mean, there's spinach, beans, the eggs, the olives, tomatoes,

there's a lot going on in there.

'I wonder if the Nicoise wrap will be just the ticket

'after a hearty bike ride. But it's not just for picnics,

'you can pop it into your packed-lunch box for work as well.'

Time to prepare our trusty steeds. Let's head for the hills!

When we're sitting on the sofa, our bodies are using up

around 1.5 calories a minute.

Cycling at a decent clip can more than triple that,

'so it's win-win for us.

'We're getting fitter and leaner as we savour God's own country.

'I wish he'd made it a bit flatter!'

I cannot work out which is the front and back brake!

I can imagine him on the bike.

He's going to be up and down, up and down,

he's going to be so schnackered after he's been on it.

Come on, Kingy!

He told me stories about his childhood, and he loved his bicycle.

Come on, Si.

Now he's discovered the bicycle again

and that's really, really amazing for him.

'Come on, Dave, no slacking, mucker.'

Hurry up!

'I'm glad you've got more zip in YOUR pip, Kingy,

'cos we've got to get a move on to meet big-eaters, Jon and Dave.

'I've invited them to join our picnic.

'This looks like the spot.'

-Here's the lads.

-There's the boys.

-This time I'm going to make it!

-Yes!

Do you want something for the picnic?

Nice nuts done in mixed spice.

A decade ago, big-eater Dave Arundel cycled from Land's End to John O'Groats.

He's a man who takes his cycling seriously.

Losing some weight is already having a positive effect all around.

It's like carrying a stone of potatoes on the back of your bike.

You notice the difference when it's not around your middle any more.

-What happened to you?

-You're not a black belt at cycling, are you?

I tell you what, I'm not.

'It's a brave new world for our mate, Jon.

'He's become a keen cook since joining the gang

'and has been using our new slimline recipes to shed the pounds.'

Although I'm still carrying three stone too much weight,

I feel better about myself.

I can't remember the last time I tucked a shirt into a pair of trousers.

Do know what's killing us is laying off the drink, wine and beer.

We've knocked it on the head completely

and find that quite hard, the social side of it as well.

How are you two doing?

I've been in the rugby club, Saturday nights

and had eight or ten pints. I've cut it down to two.

So, you've still got something in your hand. That's the bit.

If you don't have anything in your hand, you just feel...

-It's the social side of it.

-That's the hard thing, it is.

I mean, yeah, what about you?

I never drank until I met you lads.

Now, my wife's started introducing a bit of wine with the meal

and a couple of gin and tonics...

You're going the wrong way.

Jon, it's all going wrong.

I was sick of drinking pop, so now a nice bit of red wine -

-it's good for you!

-One!

Aye, they say one is.

How many are you having?

Maybe a few more than one, but that was just to get me started.

'Oh, we're going to have to work on Jon.

'Succumbing to the demon drink slows down the weight loss,

'but it's good he's dumped the sugary drinks.'

How are you finding the effort of getting a little bit fitter

and losing the weight a bit?

I think once you start and feel it, you get that bit of motivation,

I'm starting to buzz on it now.

As you get older, it's hard to get back into it

but I find the problem once I start training or exercising hard,

I start to eat more.

I think you should try these wraps.

-This is the main course, fellas.

-This is 300 calories.

-Wow!

-It's quite substantial.

300 calories? There you go,

I would be looking at this, thinking, "I cannot eat this,"

and then try and go on the scales.

-Well, you can.

-Wow.

'Flipping heck, Dave, it's like an alfresco Mothers' Union meeting, this. Who would have thunk it?'

That feels naughty.

Do you know what I mean, but for 300 calories, it's not.

'Oh, I know, four grown blokes counting calories.

'Oh, we'll be swapping beauty tips next!'

-How many recipes do we have for duck?

-I was just thinking that.

Do you know, when he walked past, I did think, like, plum sauce and pancakes.

-Jon and Dave are definitely looking trimmer.

-They are!

And we've got a doctor's appointment to get to, Si.

Professor Roy's going to check out how OUR bodies are responding

-to a bout of exercise.

-He'll be following us to the karzi next!

-Are you all right?

-Hey!

-Are you coming?

-What a day for a ride.

-Isn't it?

-Hey!

-Here we are.

Brilliant! Is this your consulting room for the minute?

Absolutely.

I'll put the chips down. Only joking!

-Have a seat.

-Oh, marvellous.

This all about enjoying yourself. And what a place to enjoy yourself.

Have you bust the chair?!

I think it's a design fault, more than anything else, thank you!

Si and I both take tablets to keep our blood pressure on an even keel.

We'd rather not pop pills, but it's one of the side-effects of being overweight.

106 over 70.

It is on the lower side

but if I told you that's what I'd expect from a 21-year-old.

-That's good news.

-Yes.

-Yes, you see. You've got zip in your pip, dude.

-I have, I'm on the way back.

I take Ramipril in the morning,

which I have done for about 18 months for high blood pressure.

Of course, the doctor said to me, try and lose weight

so it's taken me till now to do it.

Really, that's pretty good news.

-Maybe I could stop taking the Ramipril?

-It sounds like you can.

-That's brilliant. I will check with my GP.

-Yes, you do that.

Let's see how you're doing, Si.

-94 over 72.

-Blooming heck.

-That's a great blood pressure.

It'll do for an 18-year-old

and it's shown the effect of exercise,

you've opened up your muscles.

All the resistance to your heart pumping, has gone down

and so the pressure is nice and calm.

I'm 21, you're 18, we're just about right, mate. I'll buy that.

We're ready to start again!

It's official, Dave, we're young again.

And I can't wait to chuck out those tablets in my bathroom cupboard.

When he came home from that ride, Dave was in seventh heaven.

Having the age that he's got

and being told that he's got the body of a 20-year-old.

Wow, that was massive for him.

You know, mate, I'm feeling really motivated now

and I know big-eater Claire is, too.

Since coming on board, she's finally started losing the weight

she's piled on after giving birth to her daughter.

Can you add them all up, you can count them as well.

When I set my mind to something, I do do it. I don't just set my mind to things very often!

OK, we're about halfway through, so we've been going for...a few weeks now.

We'll just see.

Actually, yeah, it's between...

So about there, between 85 and 86, but I was 91.

That's a really big achievement for me. I'm dead chuffed.

Oh, Dave, the rain's seeping into me Lycra. Time to head home, dude.

Do we have to? It's Lily and Iza's takeaway night

and I don't think I can bear to sit through another one.

We've had Indian takeaway, Thai and Chinese

and when he arrives he'll sit on the sofa and watch us eating it.

Ask us if it's good and we always try and tempt him with some

because you can see him drooling.

Dave, a life without the indulgence of a takeaway is no life at all.

We've already cracked the pie, we've reworked the picnic

and we've still got 600 calories left to play with.

There's nothing for it, dude,

we have to take on the biggest temptation of all, the takeaway.

The nation's favourites are Chinese and Indian

but a standard curry has nearly 1,400 calories in it

and lurking in a typical Chinese, there's 19 teaspoons of sugar!

This could be a challenge too far.

-You choose.

-Heads.

-It's tails.

-Your shout.

-I'm doing Indian.

-I'll do the Chinese.

-Right.

-What are you going to do?

The classic, the stalwart of all Chinese takeaways.

Chow mein.

The other stalwart of all Chinese takeaways.

Chop suey.

Sweet-and-sour chicken!

Sweet-and-sour? Isn't that loaded with calories because of the sugar?

Aye, it's deep-fried, an' all. I like a challenge me, though.

What about you, what are you doing?

I thought I'd start with a traditional curry.

I'm going to do a chicken korma.

'Low-cal korma?! Not possible.

Cream, almonds, coconuts, it's a calorie quagmire, dude.

I'm going to have to be clever about this

if I'm going to keep up the good work and reach this month's target.

-I've got another two pounds and I've lost two stone.

-Yes!

-You see, it's working, innit?

-Aye, but I'm windy, though.

So am I. The duvets up and down like a fiddler's elbow.

Moving on, I'm saving some calories by marinating my chicken

in low-fat yoghurt.

What I lose with fat, I'm going to make up for with flavour,

so oodles of ground black pepper go into the chicken.

'I love the contrast of sweet and sour, Dave,

'but the sauce from takeaways is usually like treacle.

'I think I can get away with halving the quantity of sugar.

'The pineapple juice, vinegar, Worcestershire sauce and ketchup

'will more than make up the flavour.'

I've got to admit, Lil noticed that when I was getting out of cars,

I do that thing...

HE GROANS

She said, "Darling, that is not very sexy." Don't feel like that, now.

I just bounce, get in like Tigger.

'Well, my frisky friend, it's time for the veg.

'I'm adding extra to help bulk out the sweet and sour.

'It's low-calorie and guilt-free.'

You want good bits, don't you, with your sweet and sour?

Don't cut it fine, or anything,

you want some textural loveliness going on.

'Here, Kingy, you know how your regular curry is swimming in oil?

'Well, that's not for me. I'm going to try and get away with adding just a smidgen

'but I'm hoping you won't miss it cos I'm packing in the flavour.'

I've got ground cumin, coriander, turmeric, chilli powder,

freshly ground cardamom, four heads of cloves and a bay leaf.

-Smell that now it's cooking with the onions.

-Oh, man!

That's the smell we all love, isn't it?

Yeah, only that will do when it's like... oh.

Now usually this is where I'd be reaching for my deep fat fryer

to crisp up the chicken but that would be calorie madness.

I'm hoping by cooking it in the tangy sauce will help it

soak up more flavour, so you won't miss all that oil.

It looks like a takeaway, Kingy.

It smells like a takeaway and served up with rice, by God,

-it's a takeaway.

-It is a takeaway.

The only difference is, we haven't got the plastic containers

and even if you can, you can get them cheap enough at most Asian supermarkets

and you could even cheat yourself.

I've even got a bag of those towels you put in the microwave

just for that authentic experience.

The thing about kormas, it's quite umptious and thick, isn't it?

I was trying to get away with that.

I think I might know how to do it and I've got just the gizmo for the job.

That'll take your whiskers off.

You see, a regular korma has a lovely thick consistency

because of the almonds and coconut, but I can't use those.

Just a handful of almonds is around 220 calories,

so I'm blending my curry up to try and recreate that thickness.

-The smell.

-Yeah, yeah.

-There's a good amount of chicken here, Si.

-There is, mate.

There's very little yoghurt on it but that yoghurt will flavour

and it will tenderise it.

Now, Kingy, I've done me sums and do you know what we can have?

-What?

-Cream.

-You're joking?

-No, look, two tablespoons of cream.

It's good isn't it, Kingy?

You can still have a little of what you like if you cook clever.

Oh, yeah.

Do you know, Kingy, my mouth's watering

and is not watering just because I'm hungry.

It's watering because it's bloody good food.

Both of them are a good takeaway meal. Both of them are good food.

That, without the rice, is about 300 calories.

Basically, with the rice we're on 400 calories per meal.

You could have that on my 1,200 calories a day.

You could have that three times a day.

It's brilliant!

-That's it, mate, we don't have to give up the Indian night on Tuesdays.

-Good.

And, if I can convince the family to eat this,

I won't be left drooling on the couch on takeaway night.

So, what do you think, Lil? That's like really skinny takeaway.

It's really, really tasty and the flavours are so well combined.

I think for that midweek curry or Chinese takeaway,

these recipes will keep us for life.

It's food you can eat and not put the weight back on.

Mmm, lovely.

Us Brits can't resist a takeaway, Kingy.

In our lifetime, we'll chew our way through around 2,500,

spending over 17 grand on them.

What do you think the discerning public will make

of our low-cal efforts, Dave?

Well, to find out we'll have to road test them

and what better place to do that than my local Indian and Chinese.

It'll be very interesting to find out

if people look at this as being a low-calorie dish.

Beautiful, all I have to do now is wait for me first customer.

It's five o'clock.

I've had to come back from Barrow on family business

and Dave is just about to launch into his delivery

of his chicken korma.

It's going to be a couple of days before I can get over to Barrow...

..and launch into my sweet and sour.

Two days later and it's my turn to serve the people of Barrow with my tantalising Chinese takeaway.

It's like cooking underneath jet engines.

Yes, what would you like to order?

Two different nights, two different dishes, just one question.

Will our sublime slimline recipe satisfy the people of Barrow?

We're doing a new recipe on chicken korma, tonight,

would you like to try a bit as a freebie?

Neil, you're not supposed to cook more than 22 seconds.

Take that off the top of the pass... Good lad.

Right.

There we go.

Hello. Hello.

Right, let's go.

Our two... korma.

See what you think.

-Si!

-Pleased to see you.

-Great to see you.

Looks great, it looks delicious. So, this is...?

It's a low calorie chicken korma.

You're looking at less than 300 calories for that portion.

Now, there's something that I would like you to taste.

Absolutely delicious.

I think it tastes fresher.

Yeah. You like?

-Mm-hm.

-Good.

That's absolutely delightful. It's delicious.

-Thanks, girls, thank you.

-See you soon!

-See you.

Well, that's good because it's really quite low calorie.

-A full strength flavour.

-Full strength flavour, very happy?

-Masterful!

-Excellent.

Do you know, I don't think there's any greater pleasure

than cooking for people and watching them genuinely enjoy what you cook.

-Well, listen, I'm going to leave you in peace.

-OK.

I've got this feeling somebody's just ordered number 52.

THEY LAUGH

PHONE RINGS

Hello... Iesha's, takeaway to royalty.

-This is your order.

-Thank you, Jim.

-Hello, Dave Myers.

-Hello, mate.

Ann, hello.

Oh, my God.

Just have a dibble of the korma and we'll leave you in peace.

I would definitely say that I would order that.

It just tastes so fresh and real.

It's about 300 calories.

You see that is 300 calories.

-Nice that.

-It's all right, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-I would definitely order that.

-Yes!

That is great flavour food.

God bless. See you, ta-ra.

Let's have a taste of this korma. It's lovely that.

The fact of the matter is, it's a plate of good food.

It's all right that, it really is.

And, I think, a roaring success for Barrow-in-Furness,

both with Dave when he did his

and now mine when we did the sweet and sour.

So... I'm chuffed to bits.

It just goes to show you can still pack in a taste of a tempting takeaway

without piling on the pounds.

Are you all right, chef?

-How did it go?

-It was good.

-How did the sweet and sour go down?

-Good, really good.

People really genuinely enjoyed it.

Didn't think about the calories, just ate it as a good plate of food, which is exactly what we wanted.

-Shall we go for a bag of chips?

-Aye, let's away, come on.

-Bye...

-See you, night-night.

What a difference a couple of weeks can make.

The cycling seems to be paying dividends. I'm like the incredible shrinking man.

Do you like the new jacket, it's nice, isn't it?

Look at this.

I think it looks absolutely fantastic. Really good.

-It does, doesn't it?

-Just so nice to be able to pick up...

-Just off the peg.

-Yeah.

-I can't believe it.

And, I've just bought a pair of jeans with a 36-inch waist.

Look at this... You see, these are me old jeans.

Right, and I'm down to me last thingy on me belt

and it's not... The problem is if I put any weight in me pants,

any weight in me pockets with these old jeans,

I end up looking like one of those lads that's just been arrested.

-It's good, isn't it?

-Beautiful.

Listen... I've got to go and pick dinner up.

-Ta-ra.

-See you later.

-I won't be long.

Cracking the 1,200 barrier, with calories to spare,

is giving more than just my old clothes a new lease of life.

That is a bit big, isn't it?

Erm, big is an understatement.

-It's not far off.

-I've no idea what I've come into.

SHE LAUGHS

It's the end of the road, on our second month, reinventing food we love

in a bid to shed some timber.

Our big eating buddies started their new regimes a couple of weeks later than us.

And now it's time for us all to hit the scales.

Right, the time has come to step up to the plate.

-Literally...

-Yes.

Instead of feasting off it, it's time to stand on it.

Right, Ann Adlington. Ann, come on, me darling.

Now, you all promised us such a lot last time.

19 stone, one.

Hey, that's brilliant. You were 19 stone, eight,

-that's a loss of seven pounds.

-Well done!

It's coming in the right direction.

It's good, darling.

It seems our skinny pies have done the trick keeping Ann off the snacks.

Arundel, Dave... Come on, me mucker.

But will all of Dave's cycling have paid off?

13 stone, eight is a loss of four pounds, mate. Well done.

Hurray!

Things are looking at lot more cheerful, aren't they?

Now, Liz...

Oh, God.

Next up, it's party girl, Liz.

-What have you done?

-I fell over.

And were you tiddly?

Get on the scales, you.

13 stone, four pounds to beat.

Yes!

That is three-quarters of a stone.

That's fantastic.

Well done.

Laura...

Come on, darling.

Has rugby nut Laura cracked in the face of temptation?

Yes!

Whoo, 12 stone, 11.

That's amazing!

She's lost nine pounds.

APPLAUSE

Next one, Andrew.

At the initial weigh-in, you were 19 stone, exactly.

The first weigh-in here you managed to put six pounds on

and you said, at that point, the battle had begun.

-So are we winning it?

-We're about to find out.

-19 stone!

-Look, mate, you've lot six pounds, which is half a stone.

Congratulations, well done.

Claire Mitchell, please.

Claire's been losing inches off her mummy tummy, but how will it translate into pounds?

Yes! Brilliant, 12, three.

-Well, you've lost four pounds, which is fantastic.

-Thank you!

-Well done!

APPLAUSE

Now our Ken.

Writing off half a stone, Ken was the first month's biggest loser.

-Oh, yes, 17 stone, you've lost seven pounds.

-So a stone all together.

So a stone all together, that is fantastic.

-Great.

-Well done, you guys.

APPLAUSE

Up last, Taekwondo expert, Jon.

Come on, Jon, come on.

Yes! 15, ten! Wow!

You've lost 12 pounds.

-Getting there, getting there.

-That's three-quarters of a stone.

I'm eat more now than I did before.

Well done, mate.

I think getting into cooking is helping Jon kick his bad eating habits.

-So, is that it? Right, let's go and have a cup of tea.

-Let's away.

Ah...

This time round, all our big eating buddies have lost some weight.

Now it's our turn to find out how well we're doing.

Last weigh-in, 16 stone, six pounds.

If I can just get into 15s, I'll be happy.

Yes! 15, 12.

APPLAUSE

Bang on two stone since I started!

-Next on the scales is Si.

-Come on.

-Here we go.

-Yeah!

-17, eight.

I've lost another 12 pounds, that's a stone.

11 less of me than there was two months ago.

Yes!

Well, to the guys as well, fantastic man. That is brilliant.

Everyone's chocked up a win in their battle of the bulge.

Well done. Congratulations, everybody.

APPLAUSE

The power of group motivation is paying off, Si.

It certainly is.

Professor Roy set us targets to lose around 2.5 stone,

but today's really inspired me to push on to see if I can lose three.

-We've got one last stop, mate.

-We do, Kingy.

We do.

-Right, let's see what he thinks of these.

-Russell...

Russ... I think you'll agree they look like pies.

They do, they've certainly got the appearance of one.

-That's all right.

-300 calories, less than half the calories of your regular...

It's got taste to it, as well.

Ah, you said it couldn't be done, didn't you, without lard.

Well, we've done it.

You know, for once, I'm stuck for words.

-Shall we get them sold?

-Excellent, this is praise indeed.

I'll just do a little sign for you.

Hurray!

That is truly a feat.

THEY LAUGH

Next time...

We take on the sweet and decadent food we've overindulged in for years.

Can we create cupcakes, lighter than a fairy?

Little cupcakes of gorgeousness.

Work out magic on Mexican finger food.

That is brilliant!

And the heavyweight, Hairy Bikers...

Oh, you look fantastic.

Yay!

..are yesterday's news.

Bring it on!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd