Episode 4 Hairy Dieters: How to Love Food and Lose Weight

We are a couple of blokes with a mission in life.

To cook great tasting food we can all relish.

We are the Hairy Bikers.

And there is less of us than there used to be.

Ten weeks ago we heard the truth from a concerned relative.

You look fat, both of you.

Who do?

-You two.

-The love of the family!

THEY LAUGH

It was true, and the doctors agreed.

You are really on the way to being quite considerably obese.

So we set out to lose around two-and-a-half stone

in just over three months.

Not bad. Not bad.

We've taken a long hard look back at our previous battles of the bulge.

I think it went wrong when I went to college,

I discovered curry and beer.

A teacher came in and said, "Simon King must not eat anything"

and I just wanted to die.

Time to change our ways.

Chocolate, no, I don't want it.

And to dream.

I think it is just to take my top off

without having to think that I am a lardy.

I want to fit into a designer suit, a regular size off the peg.

The way forward was to cook clever, cut back on the calories

but not the flavour.

It's pie-fect, look, and it's got gravy ooze on the top.

And to build exercise into our daily routine,

to maintain our rate of weight loss.

We have also swapped horse power for pedal power.

I cannot work out which is the front and back break.

But there has been no compromising in the kitchen.

I think we are going to become better cooks after doing this.

The trick has been to reengineer the food we love

to keep the flavours big but the contents lean.

We have reduced the calories in that by about a third. It's brilliant.

Joining us is a band of fellow gastronomes,

who love food but want to shed the pounds.

I feel better about myself, I can't remember the last time

I tucked a shirt into a pair of trousers.

'We are sharing recipe ideas.' That looks lovely.

'And the highs and lows of weight loss.'

-12st 11.

-That's amazing.

THEY CHEER

So far in our culinary adventure,

we have cracked the meals we eat at home.

That is a multi-layered, multi-flavoured plate of food.

And streamlined the food that tempts us when we are out on the road.

It looks like a takeaway, smells like a takeaway

and served up with rice, by God, it's a takeaway.

And I tell you what, it's been doing the business.

Look at this.

I feel more virile, more potent, don't you?

Now we are entering the final weeks of our weight loss regime,

we want to reward ourselves to indulge once again

in the food that gives us pleasure.

Food for life, not just food for losing weight.

I miss those moments, Dave, don't you?

Sinking your teeth into something naughty, decadent.

And therein lies our challenge, we will have our cake and eat it.

But it will be light as a fairy.

Little cupcakes of gorgeousness.

We reinvent the chilli taco.

That is brilliant.

And purge the paella of calories so we can stay in love

with the food that gives us our joie de vivre,

yet still lose weight.

There is more of the good stuff and less of the padding.

It's just better.

Food is sustenance but it's also a celebration of life.

Cheers, Dyl.

It's about indulgence and shared experiences with family and friends.

My Dad, he loves to entertain

and the food comes hand in hand with the party.

He enjoys cooking for parties and having people around.

Parties in our house are shows, are spectacles,

are...how can I put it, it's a theatre.

But the thing is, the rich and luxurious treats we love

have loved us back,

pushing our waistlines into dangerous territory.

Like 60% of us Brits.

A life of overindulgence has been our undoing, Kingy.

Oh, look at the sheen on that, it's like Beyonce covered in baby oil.

We were packing away over 1,000 calories more

than 2,5000 recommended for the regular bloke.

Here we go.

But, Dave, the 64,000 question is, can we still stick to

the 1,200 calorie-a-day regime that has made us so svelte?

Camembert, brie. I can't have cheese.

And deliver the indulgent food we are pining for?

In this culinary contest, all eyes are on the scales.

Right, haven't weighed myself for a couple of days. Oh, man.

So, it's funny isn't it, I've never had this as a family event before.

We are right behind you.

Literally!

97. 97 kilos.

Well done.

Hold on, what's that in old money?

I'm a kilo ahead of Dr Roy, and I've got three weeks to go.

So 97 kilos, it's about 15st 4lbs.

So I have lost over 2.5st now.

Well?

I am 108.4 kilos.

Brilliant.

Which makes me 17st 1lb,

so I have lost 2st 5lb.

Nearly 2.5, yeah. Soon you will be in the 16s.

Sweet 16s. I haven't been in that since I was 16.

THEY LAUGH

It's true.

Another 6lb, I'll have lost 3st

and I'll be in the 14st 10lb, 14st 11lb .

That's what I was when I was 25-years-old.

That's what I want and that's what I want to be for the rest of my life.

So you are setting yourself anther target?

Lil, if I can do 2lb a week, I've got the three weeks, I am there.

Well, if you do that I will lose the same, yes.

You don't need to. I love you just as you are.

It's unbelievable, Kingy, I have already hit the target

Dr Roy set me and you are almost there, too.

And we have still got three weeks to go.

It's good, mate, it's good, but the last few pounds I need to lose

might be a bit hard to shift and you've set yourself a new goal.

You are a mad man.

Possibly, but at least we are not on this weight loss odyssey alone.

I'm not afraid of the scales any more, so here we go.

Our calorie counting compadres, the Big Eaters,

have been with us every set of the way.

Nearly 1st less than when I started.

Testing recipes.

I think this is absolutely gorgeous.

Sharing their own.

I like the orange peppers because it is a little bit sweeter.

And offering inspiration.

Size 12, yeah!

Take our very own karate kid, Big Eater Jon.

Not long ago he was living on a diet that was nothing short of disaster.

We did a food diary and I was ashamed, if I am honest,

about what I ate and how I ate it. It was appalling.

But since discovering the chef within, he has come a long way.

I can fasten my laces without being out of breath when I bend down.

I actually started looking at clothes that aren't just black.

Don't do that, people have got to eat those.

I don't think so.

And the magic is back in his marriage.

That's it, just made it messy on top.

I've cooked with Lynn and I think that it has brought us

closer together, because instead of me just watching the TV,

I am in there cooking, washing the dishes.

Just being the domesticated god that I am now.

I know just how he feels, Kingy.

I don't know about you, I had no idea

how much this weight loss business would touch every part of our lives.

It's true, mate, it's true, but then I didn't really catch on

to how fat I was until we got savaged by your relatives Les and Muriel.

We do look noticeably different, dude.

I just hope that Muriel is a bit kinder to us than she was last time.

Yes, dude, we are about to enter the doors of tough love.

I know, my family, they do tell it how it is.

You are not wrong.

Are you ready? Suck in, suck in.

I am. I am!

DOORBELL RINGS

Oh, my God, you look fantastic.

We are still big.

Well, yeah, we have got a way to go.

You have got a waist, you have got a waist.

I've got a sternum I've never had before.

It's lovely to see you, how are you doing?

Oh, look at this, I can meet!

Do you want to have a look at a picture of yourselves

when you were first made stars?

Now, look at that.

-Look at this!

-Chubby chops, eh?

-Oh, that's a bad photograph.

-You've lost all that, now, all that.

Little cheeks, look at that.

Don't you look entirely different now?

Thank goodness for that.

I bet you feel chuffed, yourself.

Yes, oh, aye.

But we got fatter after that.

You are fat enough there.

THEY SNIGGER

She's off again.

THEY LAUGH

I'm sorry. You are not fat now.

I mean, we haven't seen you for a while and that is the difference.

-You definitely look different, I take it all back.

-Thank you.

You are not fat anymore.

Come here.

You're not fat.

We have passed.

You know, Si, Les and Muriel's straight-talking ten weeks back,

telling us we were lardies, really did give me motivation

and I think we owe them a treat

by a way of a thank you.

What have you got in mind, mate?

The ultimate indulgence, Kingy, high tea.

Traditionally, this very British institution

would bring families together, around a table

of savoury and sweet delights.

Ah, yes.

Scones, sweet cakes, bread and jam and a nice cuppa. Heaven.

Yes, but will it be an extravagance too far

for blokes on 1,200 calories?

Ah, but we thought pies were impossible, dude,

and we managed to crack Indian and Chinese takeaways.

# Tea for two and two for tea

# A tea for you... #

Look at that, you see that?

You could have spooned that at one point, not any more.

It's all fork-otten now.

It's good that.

Ah, tea, this is a challenge in the world of the diet. The sweet stuff.

Right, so I'm thinking we should start with something

that will really bowl Muriel and Les over.

We are going to make fairy cakes.

Little iced lemon iced fairy cakes, little cupcakes of gorgeousness.

Little dainty cakes.

Your typical fairy cake can set you back approximately 315 calories,

so we need to make a sponge with a difference.

I reckon we can pack in extra flavour

if we borrow a trick from the muffin.

Blueberries, we are bulking up the cakes with blueberries.

Nice one, but while you have been rediscovering summer fruits,

I have been searching for a way to cut back on the butter and milk,

the only solution I can think of is oil.

Used sparingly, we might be able to make less, do more.

You know, like chewy cookies or super moist fruit cake,

the tip is sunflower oil.

Make a heap of cakes, 12 cakes,

there is only that oil between 12.

Combined with low fat yoghurt, the oil should allow us

to use two thirds less fat than the typical fairy cake,

so that's a big slice off the calorie count.

Now, normally, at this point I fill this up

and Kingy licks the bowl, but not anymore.

No, you don't get a reduced belly by licking bowls.

You do get a reduced belly by licking a tomato, however.

Yes, and on occasion, he's been so frustrated,

he's been known to lick the windows. Yes.

Kingy, real fairy cakes need to have icing, we can't do butter cream,

the calories would be astronomical,

but a drizzle or two of the sweet stuff

will tickle the taste buds without going over the top.

If I get the lemon juice in, shall we just fold it with a spatula?

Yeah.

Have I put too much lemon in that? Has it gone snotty?

No, it's all right, man.

In the past, I'd be thinking of my belly

while waiting for the cakes to come out of the oven.

You know what, Kingy, I still am.

What you do is you assume the pose, like that, the plank.

Keep your bum down and go, and one and two and three and four.

One and two and three and four.

There are moments when I did like it better when we were fat.

No, this is great for your core.

One and two and three and four. How long have you got to do for?

30 seconds.

One and two and three and four. One and two... Oh!

I've just slipped off.

Kingy, at this rate,

your goal of stripping off at the beach might be a pipe dream.

Oh, yes.

Look at that, I love it where the blueberries have just popped.

There is a bit of purple.

Oh, they have come up great, and they're just itching for icing.

Should I dollop?

You dollop, and I will just grate some lemon on the top, some zest.

Just an inch or so of icing on shop-bought cupcakes can add 180 calories

but we can still be decadent without going for bust.

It's going to look indulgent and lovely.

Well, they do that and more, I've checked the numbers

and our dinky fairy cakes are only 167 calories.

That's around half a traditional one.

So I think if you are going to have a sit-down afternoon tea,

-you're going to have 500 calories.

-Yeah, fair enough.

You can have your tea with milk that's skimmed, so it's negligible.

And a fairy cake, but we need something else, as well.

A quiche, that's what we should do next, a quiche.

Yep.

This is a tough one, mate, we need to find something to deliver

the same flakiness as a lovely lardy crust.

That pizza dough we used last time for our low-cal meat and potato pie

won't produce the ideal texture.

We need something lighter with a bit of a crunch.

A filo.

This is another dieter's friend, isn't it, really,

because it's still pastry, not much in it?

I've read that filo has a third fewer calories

than your average short-crust pastry.

Perhaps if we put a few sheets together,

we can create a crust with a bit of bite.

Just paint it with oil and you get the thinnest but perfect smearage.

You know what we need is filling that feels really extravagant.

Bacon is a classic that I bet we can afford if we treat it with care.

Now, I am judiciously taking the fat off the bacon

because we are watching our weight.

We are watching our weight disappear, Mr King.

Thing is, as well, is,

although the food may be frugal in calories,

it's maxed up with taste.

Kingy, if I double up the edges of the filo,

we might just be able to get a robust crispy crust.

I've just put the bacon in and as you can see

there is a little bit of colour.

And by caramelising the bacon and the onions

we should be able to pump up the flavour without adding more fat.

The average slice of bacon and egg quiche

can set you back nearly 300 calories or more.

The roux base alone, butter cream and flour,

is a regime-wrecking disaster.

I know, let's make the white sauce with corn flour and milk,

and then there will be no need for butter or cream.

This is a lovely recipe, though, it's good cooking.

It is, mate, yeah, it is.

Adding the asparagus to the mix is a stroke of genius,

even if I do say so myself.

I'm going to put half of this mixture in a pastry case,

spread it out evenly,

because I want everybody to have a bit of bacon, bit of onion.

You know, it looks lush and I reckon we can get away with one more

hit of luxury, a light scraping of Parmesan.

Every slice has got a nice topping of golden cheese.

And you have got the bacon and the onions, the asparagus,

all the thick eggy sauce, with that lovely, crispy filo pastry.

And you are on a diet.

This little belter is only 245 calories per slice.

That looks brilliant.

Tea is all about bounty, a little bit of everything you want.

I think we've outdone ourselves this time -

even with a cup of tea, the fairy cakes and quiche

come in 80 calories under the 500 we have allotted.

Now, that's crispy, man, it's cutting like quiche.

It IS cutting nice, isn't it?

You know, mate, you have got Les and Muriel, Lil your wife, the kids.

Even the dog is going to be at this tea party.

But I have read that if you eat in groups of six or more,

you're more likely to eat nearly twice as much.

That may be true but our high tea's got about half the calories, Kingy,

so we won't have to worry.

Let me show you to the table, my lovelies. Hello, gorgeous.

This is all low-calorie, can you believe it?

But you are not going to feel deprived.

No, not with that.

Can we just make sure that our fingers are all erect?

Mine already is.

Thank you, Les and Muriel, for inspiring us

with our diet with tough love.

Oh, you have done so well. You have done very well.

Thank you.

Really well, I take it all back, what I said about you.

THEY LAUGH

Thanks, Muriel.

Bon appetit.

Fabulous, really good that.

In some ways, Si, I prefer this to a traditional quiche,

because it's not so creamy.

It's really good and light.

And our cake looks like it's going down a treat with Les.

It's got sugar in it but still it's worth the calories.

Lovely them, really nice.

I think we've proved that even on a diet,

you can afford a posh afternoon tea.

Of course you can.

Dave and I and our Big Eater gang are really beginning to

find our feet on this culinary journey.

We're supporting each other as we weave our way through the minefield

of indulgence using crafty cooking.

Chef Andrew, however, decided to adopt a different approach

to shedding the lard, so he didn't follow our low-cal cooking regime.

What I don't want to do is put pressure on myself,

so the scales are just going to go back under here and stay there.

As yet, he hasn't managed to shift any weight.

HE SIGHS

Well, it's been a very, very hard day, the sort of day

when you want to take your diet and flush it down the pan.

And I have discovered the stash.

There is nothing for it, I've got to eat the whole lot,

and I will because one piece of chocolate

is the same as having one pint of beer.

It doesn't do the job, it's all or nothing.

Andrew has hit a rough patch, Dave, and I really feel for him.

Like us, he faces temptation all day long.

Not everyone has fallen off the weight loss wagon, though.

I have got about 4lb or 5lb to get down to my target weight.

It's starting to get harder to get the poundage off,

but the incentive of seeing the end of the diet

and getting to the goal weight, is a good motivator.

Yeah! 16st 12, 16st 12.

First time I've seen 16 on the scales for seven years, probably.

Well done, Ken and Dave, it's not easy melting the lard,

especially when the rate of loss slows down.

But after a lifetime of accruing fat,

-I feel chuffed when I lose ANYTHING.

-Well, mate,

with just a couple of weeks to go,

I think we've earned a bit of pampering.

There is no point in us looking great

if we're not feeling great, as well.

Pick up the seaweed now

and put it all over your hair, all over your face.

I feel like Neptune.

What do you do know do, you just lie here?

Just soak in it, just lie in it, let the oil soak the pours,

soak into the body.

It's great for anti-aging, as well, so get it right into the face.

You all right there, dude?

I'm more than all right.

There are those who claim great things for seaweed spas -

skin, hair, digestion, circulation and grumpiness

are all supposed to benefit from a seaweed slathering.

When you are on a diet, as well, Si, it is basically about trying to

look after yourself better. And this is all part of it, isn't it?

I think you're right,

and if you can't invest in yourself then you are not investing

in your families or the people that you love and care for, are you?

Oh, man.

Thank you so very much, you definitely have healing hands.

That head massage was mental.

We are both generally feeling pretty good about ourselves.

For the first time in a long time, I think,

I feel a little bit more content.

It's a lot easier taking my shirt off and doing something like this

having lost a couple of stone, and I think that's part of the fact

that the way I hated it before, I felt quite intimidated

and embarrassed. I'm still no Bobby Dazzler

but you don't feel quite so bad about yourself.

I'm just going to continue doing what I'm doing

because, actually, I'm quite enjoying it.

If there is a choice between coming for a seaweed bath

and a massage or a night in the pub,

this moment, the massage is looking pretty good, I tell you.

Smoothie and a fruit kebab when we get out.

Feeling great outside and in

is what this weight loss process is all about.

Dude, there is a real chain reaction going on here,

the more weight I lose, the better I feel.

I know exactly what you mean and since I'm sparkier,

the odd indulgence just feels right.

You know who's been basking in the weight loss glow

for a while now? Big Eater Liz.

Having lost 12st, even before she started shedding more lard with us,

she's already enjoying the benefits of a lighter lifestyle.

We never went out when I was overweight, did we?

-You just always used to avoid it, didn't you?

-Oh, completely.

So now it's just nice to kind of just be like everybody else.

But her new party girl ways do pose slimming challenges.

Si and Dave, I need your help.

I am planning a night out with my sisters

and we need something to eat before we go, to fill our bellies,

that is not going to pile on the pounds, so do you have any ideas?

# La, la, la bamba!

# I'm in the mood for a party

# I'm in the mood for a par... #

Enough, now who's coming to the party?

-Two of my sisters, just like me.

-Oh, my God.

Oh, God!

Excellent, and you're going to cook for them.

I am.

So, essentially, we need to come up with something sexy for girls

going out on the lash.

What about chilli con carne? That will help soak up the booze.

Great idea, but we'll have to replace

all those rich, fatty flavours with something equally unctuous.

And as we have discovered,

reinvention starts with getting the basics right.

Look at this mince, nice and lean.

Little bit of fat in it but you need a little bit. Mostly, pretty lean.

-There we are.

-Nicely done!

She gives good onion.

She does.

A full-fat chilli with rice and toppings

can set you back close to 1,000 calories, but I bet

we can whittle away that number if we give the meat a good browning.

And we can punch up the spicing with coriander, cumin and chilli

so no-one will crave forbidden fats.

-Do you like spice?

-Yes.

Shall we put two teaspoons of chilli in?

You can have spice on a diet, can't you?

Right, one of the general rules of cookery is,

dry spices, you cook into a dish, fresh herbs, you chop on the top,

and it's a fragrant top-note you put in at the end.

Let that just Mulder and Scully.

Pretty soon that is sweating like Rosemary Connelly in a patisserie.

THEY LAUGH

Kingy, you know what would take this to the next level? Taco bowls.

There is no way we can get away with them, mate.

They are made out of deep-fried tortillas which will set us back

about 250 calories or more.

Aye, but I've got an idea, and it starts with some foil.

-Four separate metres of foil.

-OK.

Take a piece and make a ball.

Now, let's make bowls!

We take a tortilla.

If we are crafty, I reckon we can make a lesser calorie version with

a low fat wrap. Brushing them with a light coating of oil

should hopefully not only make them gorgeous and crispy

but slim-line too.

And just kind of form them...

They can be quite loose at this stage.

Oh, that's genius, man.

Over the past few weeks we have discovered fantastic ways

of packing in flavour without piling on the pounds

and it's really nice to share a thing or two with Liz.

You can see now there is little pockets where all the liquid's gone,

so we can start to see the bottom of the pan -

that's a good indication that it's drying out really nicely.

It will continue to dry out and evaporate the moisture in the mince

and in the stock that we've put in.

All those flavours have really intensified

and it's going to be big.

Shall we have a little chef's perk?

-Mmm.

-Whoa!

-Good, eh?

Really good.

That's got balls, hasn't it?

We will need something to balance all that heat.

I have always been a fan of a cooling salad, let's try one here.

Cucs, tomatoes and lettuce have very little in the way of calories,

and if we add a squeeze of lime,

it just might add that extra cha-cha-cha on the pallet.

These are going to be balls of fire.

Just crispy, toasty, very, very roasty.

Now, seize one,

pull out the foil...

as it cools on the glass, it will form the shape, see.

-That is brilliant.

-That is awesome.

When they go cool, they'll be crispy.

These oven-toasted bowls look the part

and should be around half the calories of their deep-fried amigos.

Handful of salad in the bottom. Oh, nice, a little bit more of salad.

Might as well, because this is the one thing

we can do with abandonment, can't we, really?

That's it!

Nice one, Kingy.

Now this is what I call indulgent party food,

and because we have been so frugal with the fats, I reckon

we can get away with some grated cheese,

salsa and even creme fraiche.

It looks like that it's going to be an exciting eat, doesn't it?

It's brilliant.

And the portions are more than ample.

Definitely, especially if you are going out, as well.

Exactly.

I think they are about 400 calories, that's a good meal.

I would say that is not diet food.

So we have sorted Liz out on the food front, but let's be honest,

when you are planning a big night,

eating isn't the only thing on your mind.

The tipple's important too and we know our girl loves the sauce.

We all do and it wasn't long ago

when I downed close to 1,000 calories

on a visit to my own bar in the basement.

What can I get you?

Something cold and nice, something that you can't have yet.

There is no need to rub salt in it.

Do you know, I am handling this well, I have slipped off the wagon

two or three times in three months, but it's not bad.

But this kills me, a cold beer.

Heck, just a pint of this is almost 300 calories,

no room for that on this regime.

That's beautiful.

I miss you.

Do you want to share that?

No, I can't, you see. Your family talk about support.

SHE LAUGHS

I'm just teasing you.

I know, I know, but look, it's starting to bloom on the glass now.

I love great wine,

and that relationship was probably the hardest to break.

The only thing I can liken it to is breaking up with your wife

or your girlfriend...

because it offers you comfort...

..it offers you joy,

it offers you parts of your personality that need redemption

and salvation, it's that important.

That's a bit heavy, Kingy, but cheer up, remember,

it's only a temporary sabbatical from drink, not a life sentence.

But we can't go back to the way things were.

In pre-diet days, sometimes as much as 20% of our calories

came from booze.

I heard that Ollie Smith, the wine expert,

recently won his battle with the bulge.

Oh, look at this, the cave of plenty.

I think we should tap him for a tip or two about the sauce.

Hello, mate, how are you?

I'm great. How are you doing? I'm very well.

By heck, you have lost weight.

I know, look, what do you think?

-What's happened to you?

-I've slenderised.

I have slenderised a little bit. I decided the time had come,

I had to lose a bit of weight, but I did not skimp on the booze.

Amazing, this man here lost 3.5st while living large.

I need to know his secrets.

I passionately believe you can still enjoy your glass of wine,

your beer, your whisky, whatever it might be and still lose weight.

The way I did it, I cut down my portion size across all food

and all booze by one third.

I got on an exercise bike for ten minutes every day,

and literally, this happens.

A few months in, it took me about four months, but a few months in,

I stepped up a bit more exercise because I was enjoying it.

You know, our palate of white is really quite similar -

we like those big, buttery, fat, gorgeous, deep, heavy whites.

Yeah, you can't have any of those.

I know, I'm so sorry, I feel really bad, but the thing is, basically,

if you choose a wine from a warm place,

that gives you all those rich flavours,

it's going to have a high level of alcohol

and also quite a lot of fruity sugars in it,

so you've just got to watch out a wee bit for that.

But that's not all, when choosing a drink you need to remember

alcohol is packed with calories -

the higher percentage of alcohol, the more regime-wrecking it will be.

But there are lower alcohol drinks that have less sugar in them,

that give you the same flavour hit, that you can absolutely enjoy.

Tell me what they are.

I'm going to say, I think English wine.

English wine, because it's a cool climate,

there is less sugar in the grapes so then you get less alcohol,

especially with the whites and the fizz.

For your other white wine, a great example is Portuguese,

-remember Vinho Verde?

-Yes!

-It's a great little drink.

-And it's sparky, it's bright.

-Is that lower in calories?

It's lower in calories, yeah, it's about 11.5,

but you can find them a wee bit lower, so you know,

if you think a normal red's 13.5, 14 -

what you want to avoid is those big, juicy, steeped reds

that are coming in at about 15%, that's no good.

Choosing a lower alcohol wine like Vinho Verde

at around 185 calories per glass,

or dry English white at 190,

over something like a full-body Bordeaux at 260,

could make a real difference on a night out.

One of the tips that I can give you is also, drink better quality

but a little less of it.

So spend a wee bit more and enjoy an amazing glass or two.

That's a great idea, but to get me through a party,

I'll need something non-alcoholic to keep a lid on things.

And Ollie has got just the stuff.

Really easy cocktail to put together,

it's orange blossom water.

Little teaspoon of that, use it sparingly

because it can overwhelm all the flavours,

then a little bit of lime cordial.

-That will cut down the...

-Cut through.

Cut through, exactly.

Then you balance it up with an equal dose of elderflower cordial.

The less you use, the less sugary the drink is going to be.

Give it a stir.

You can have this served in champagne flutes at a party.

Colour-wise, it almost looks a bit like a glass of merry fizz,

but give it a wee stir.

The nice thing is it's got a sense of occasion,

-which is what you want with a sparkler.

-Absolutely.

Touch more orange blossom water and then we are there.

There we go. Are you ready, lads? Here you go. Thirst quencher.

-There you go.

-Thank you.

-That is my pleasure.

-Oh, it smells fantastic.

-It's not bad, it's a real refresher.

Actually, I think summer time in the garden.

-Cheers.

-Cheers, gents.

-Chin chin, gentlemen.

Dolled up in a nice glass, this really does feel special.

-Smashing.

-It's good, isn't it?

-Oh, yeah.

Hey, I tell you what that would be brilliant with - vodka.

OLLIE LAUGHS

Ollie has really fixed us up.

It's exiting to know that you can drop the pounds

and still enjoy your food and a glass of wine.

Yeah, it's a matter of pacing your extravagances,

as well as cooking clever,

and you know who has got this down pat? Our Liz.

There we go, hope Si and Dave are happy.

-It is actually really nice.

-I like the basket.

Beats a kebab any day.

It is actually really good.

And to make sure she stays on target,

we have passed on Ollie's recipe for fake fizz.

Cheers, I'm actually quite impressed, are you impressed?

It's good that.

And what if I told you that it's 19 calories a serving?

You are joking? I could drink that all night.

It's right there, Dave, what this is all about, low-calorie high times.

Round at mine, its high-cal hijinx.

You remember my bet with my lovely step-daughter, Iza?

If I can't get into these jeans comfortably in the next three months,

I will give you £500.

Oh, my God, OK.

If I do, you are going to be my slave for the year.

What I am doing is to sneak chocolate everywhere, like his office,

under the pillow, under his chair

and maybe he will be tempted when nobody's looking.

So she has been trying to scupper me from the start -

I wondered why there was always a family bar in my sock drawer.

Now, do YOU win or do I win?

-Well, go and try them on.

-OK.

Not here.

I'm not! Getting my shoes off.

I think I lost. Look at that muffin top.

These are my old jeans that I have never got into...

The only thing is, they're not really stylish now, are they?

Never were.

I win, you lose. Go on, get us a cup of tea.

Dave, it's the love of the family that has got us through.

When we began this journey,

I had to face up to my history, the fat kid taunted at school.

When my mum sent me to Weight Watchers in the local church hall,

I wanted to die of embarrassment.

It was the family that got me through that, my big sister Ginny.

It's always been there, that relationship with his sister,

and somebody he massively looked up to.

She had a car and she used to drop me off at the classes

and then come back later and pick up the pieces.

I don't remember much about Simon King aged eight, but Ginny does.

There it is.

For you to walk in, the age you were, darling,

you didn't know what to expect.

It was the scales though.

There were those counterbalance scales, the biggest set of scales

I have ever, ever seen, and you had to stand on them.

But also you were slightly elevated

so you were there for all to see which is just... My God.

We adults don't give children enough credit about how much, instinctively, they know.

Dad was dying, and there was a lot going on there.

I knew that other dads were up and about and on their bikes,

and I remember taking solace in biting a sandwich.

It was my reaction to the stress of Dad being poorly was,

"Mum, can I have a lolly?"

And also, as well, of course, Mum used to have you in the kitchen

cooking with her because it was also something you could do together.

It kept you quiet for Dad, you know.

Yeah, it did. It was awful for everybody.

But I can't tell you how many nights Mum and I sat thinking,

"Are we doing the right thing?"

So there was a lot of dynamics going on

as you walked into that room and things, you know.

And, actually, thank God everybody was kind.

You did absolutely fantastically well,

and it hasn't been harmful to who you are now.

I ate to deal with big scary feelings.

Seeing Ginny and talking to her about the past has reminded me

of just how much family matters.

I'm doing this weight loss for them as well as me.

The best thing about that is that he's going to be around

for maybe a couple of hundred years, he's going to be very healthy.

He's going to be as active as he is when he is 220 years old.

And now that I have got my mojo back, Dylan and I

are going to try something new together, sea kayaking.

If you start trying to fight to stop it lifting up, then you lose.

You are going to go in.

Before I started this weight-loss adventure,

there is no way I would have been able to do this.

I don't think I would have fitted into the boat.

A culmination of losing weight, being more motivated and active.

It's all about getting wet.

While Si gets in his work-out,

I'm going to cook up a special seaside treat for the whole family.

The combination of sea air and exercise

is going to have Dylan and Si ravenous.

So I have an idea for a one-pot wonder, skinny paella.

Welcome to the Hairy Bikers' beachside cafe.

Thing is, there's some recipes that lend themselves better

to dieting than others.

Typical paella is an unctuous extravaganza that can set you back

630 calories for an average serving.

The challenge will be to scale this back

without compromising on flavour.

First off, chicken thighs.

Bit of oil, not too much mind, we are on a diet.

But I have learnt that if I take the skin off,

we can get the numbers down.

Now chorizo, this is the dieting luxury.

You can't have all that.

One link packs 273 calories.

But by my calculations, you can have a third of it.

Without the skin on, this little bit should go a long way.

It's an absolute flavour bomb, just sizzle that through

and get it to sweat onto that chicken.

And that smoky kind of pork fat goes great with the fish.

Just let sweat down.

Here, Janey, do you ever worry about your boys on the sea?

Not really, no. I think they are quite comfortable out there.

Oh, I love it!

Not as easy as it looks, you know.

Apparently, you can burn over 500 calories in an hour of sea kayaking,

not including the energy it takes to get back into the boat.

Just good to see him having fun with Dylan and playing,

playing in the sea.

The fat from the sausage, we are going to use

to give the paella flavour.

Most paellas are slathered with oil,

but I have an idea to cut down by recycling what's already in the pan.

As we say, the paella should have all the colours of an Ibizan sunset.

Peppers, it's all sweating down nicely.

It's a bit nouveux for paella but a bit of greens.

We want to keep the vegetables up, you know,

more veggies are a good thing.

This is when a nicoise meets a paella.

I tell you, once this garlic starts to warm up, Jane,

they are going to be lured from the sea

like Neptune from his mighty cavern.

Usually, when I make a paella, I put in a whole pack of rice,

but I reckon by bulking up the veg, I can use much less,

keeping the carb calories low.

Since I have been doing this diet, I have genuinely got more conscious

about how much rice I cook, how much pasta I cook.

And indeed, you know, in that way, I am eating less.

Just get that rice so it's covered with the oil.

Look at that, it's beautiful.

While all that simmers away, it's time to get on with the seafood.

This is better than fish and chips on the beach any day!

It packs in fabulous flavour and should still come in

at around 360 calories per portion.

It all looks so rich and unctuous,

but remember, the only oil in this is that one tablespoon of olive oil

and that tiny bit of fat out of that piece of chorizo sausage.

A few lemon wedges, get the boys out the sea, happy days.

What an idiot.

Dylan's cockpit has no water in it.

My cockpit.

I am starving.

Boys, come and get it.

Oh, nice one, Dave.

Look at that eh?

Oh, yes! How fantastic.

Mrs K. Ladies first, boys.

Ladies first, that's true, that's true.

-Do you notice the difference now you've lost the weight?

-Yeah.

Do you know what it is, mate, you're just more motivated to do stuff,

you know, get in and get involved.

This is a big treat, thank you very much.

Here we go, here's to us, thank you, Dave, thank you very much, mate.

That's absolutely brilliant.

It's good, isn't it?

-What do you reckon?

-It's amazing, yeah, really good.

But it's perfectly balanced, all the flavours are epic. Dead impressive.

In fact, there is more of the good stuff and less of the padding,

like myself.

It's just... We're just... It's just better.

We have been able to indulge ourselves with celebratory foods

we would never have thought we could have.

But that paella has nudged us

60 calories over our daily allowance of 1,200.

And the final weigh-in is only days away.

Remember Professor Roy's advice - regular exercise in combination

with our calorie restriction will keep us shedding pounds.

I have been doing a bit of training

with Barrow rugby star Martin Ossler.

I'm growing abs and lats where I only had fats.

Looks a bit physical to me.

I'm going to try a US Special Forces weight-loss trick.

Here, Si, you look like a Navy Seal, all right.

That's good buddy, try and make waves in it, try and make waves.

That's cold, shine a light, that's proper freezing.

You OK, Dad?

All the way to the top, mate, killing it.

Straighten your arms, extend your arms and flex. That's the one.

HE GASPS AND SQUEALS

How's it going?

Well, apparently, what happens is the US Army think

that you can burn twice the calories than you normally do

just by lying still, by being in an ice bath.

It looked like my dad had literally ran naked

through the north pole and back.

According to Martin, this sort of high intensity exercise

burns around 600 or 700 calories an hour. Nice.

Ohh, the ice man cometh. Has it worked?

So that's 0.4 kilo I have lost

by sitting in that stupid, freezing cold bath.

OK, mate, the waiting is over.

It all started here with professor Roy Taylor when he told us

to lose around 2.5st each.

I thought he was having a laugh.

The old jeans are a lot roomier than they were three month ago.

Hello, Roy.

Dave, Si, it's great to see you.

Good to see you.

And you are looking fantastic.

THEY CHEER

I want to get rid of these, I never want to see them again.

It's time to step up to the mark.

Wow, 105.8 kilograms.

You have smashed through the target, Kingy.

105.8, excellent.

I'm up next.

94.6.

-94.6.

-Get in!

Give us in stone, pounds and ounces, how much Dave's lost,

how much I have lost.

Si, you were 19st 6lb,

and you have come down to 16st 9lb.

So virtually 3st there.

-3lb off 3st.

-BOTH: Yes!

That is excellent.

And, Dave, you started at 17st 12lb

and you have come down to 14st 13lb,

so you are one pound off 3st.

But of course, it's what we predicted at the start

and it's what we set out to do.

The simple matter of it is,

that you have eaten less than you used to eat

and you have lost weight.

Upstairs to our dietician, Professor Ashley Adamson.

Look at you.

She's been with us through thick and thinner.

Hello, gorgeous.

-I thought you might want a bit of a snack.

-What's this?

Each of these trays represents the amount of weight

each of you have lost.

-What?

-In three months?

So we have got 6st of lard here, which is, between you, what you have.

When you sat here, do you remember sitting here, OK,

when you were sat there, you had it round you,

and now we've got it on the table.

Thank goodness for that.

It's really quite shocking.

It is shocking.

You'll have to carry it because I can't.

That really isn't good.

No, that's not good.

It's like being pregnant with a giant baby.

That is really quite shocking, no wonder it shortens your life.

And you're carrying that extra with you.

I am absolutely gob-smacked.

We know that, unfortunately, a lot of people who lose weight,

regain that weight within a year.

I'm not about to put it back on, mate, I tell you.

Never say never. But do say hello to a whole new wardrobe.

When we started, my dream was to get into Paul Smith's pants.

To wear an off-the-peg suit.

To be the size and shape of a fashionable man,

instead of a blob, and now I am.

The world of the beautiful people, this could be a first, you know.

If I get to come somewhere like this and find something that fits.

I've always had my own individual style.

Yeah, Obelix meets Giant Haystacks.

But you have always been a dedicated follower of fashion.

Clothes maketh the man.

I have, and buying this is how I will stay in shape,

because I am never going to want to take it off.

Love the suit, have you got the shirt in 17, this one?

Yes, absolutely.

The world of choice awaits.

Kingy.

Oh, hey, man, that looks great, turn around.

Look at the gap on your shirt.

I know, it's 17.5.

Hey, man, that's like a nice fit.

-Isn't it? Off-the-peg. Fashion.

-Yes!

Hey, you've done it, congratulations, well done, that's fabulous.

You do realise that this is the beginning of a future that is

going to cost me a fortune?

Don't worry, you'll be saving it on takeaways.

It's the end of the affair, Dave,

back at the seaside where it all began.

Dave's the same funny, loving, caring person

but he's much happier, and I'm happier because of that.

He's actually done it, that is more of a surprise than anything.

Now, it's time for the final countdown, the last judgement,

we know what we weigh, but how have our Big Eaters fared?

So you are going to do fast feet, through the speed ladders,

so try and do two in each rung. Great work.

Like us, they are having a final burst of exercise.

Trainer Martin Ossler will get the endorphins flowing.

Big push, big push, big push great work.

They started a couple of weeks after us but everyone's come a long way,

nobody has been in competition with anyone but themselves.

Yeah, and everyone has experienced some measure of triumph over flab.

Right, come on, the moment is nigh.

Feel the burn.

So, Ann Hadlington with a start...

THEY CHEER

Ann began weighing even more than me, at 19st 10lb.

THEY CHEER

-18st 10lb.

-Back of the net!

THEY CHEER

Well done.

What's the total loss from the beginning?

-Well, since the beginning...

-You have done a stone.

A stone in three months.

THEY APPLAUD

Come on, you.

I must say, Ken, you're looking trim.

Ken's start weight was 18st 3lb.

Yes, 16st 5lb.

I'm type two diabetic, and losing this weight means that

I can really, really control, if not lose, my diabetes.

That's 1st 12lb gone.

Ken's loss is astonishing,

it will be hard for any of the others to beat.

Well, I tell you what, you know who's next, don't you?

It's Jonathon Saunders.

THEY CHEER

11 weeks ago Jon was 16st 5.75lb.

And some 15st 3lb.

Excellent, man.

THEY APPLAUD

That means you have lost 1st 2.75lb.

Andrew!

Andrew struggled with our low-cal regime from the start

and he is a self confessed scale-o-phobe.

19st exactly, then had a little hiccup

and he said, now, the battle has begun at 19st 6lb.

19st 4lb.

Some of us find it easier than others, I do know what I need to do

to lose weight and I haven't been doing it, it's as simple as that.

Laura began weighing 13st 7lb.

She has eaten big but cannily - has it worked?

THEY CHEER

12st 4lb.

Amazing, she's shed 1st 3lb.

Dave started at 14st, bang on.

I've set myself a target of what I want my weight to be.

Hopefully 13st-ish.

12st 10lb.

Fantastic, that's a loss of 1st 4 lb.

I'm going to get on the scales every other day

and keep my weight at that level.

And if I go a couple of pounds up,

I know I've got to be good for a couple of days.

Gorgeous Liz had already lost 12st when we met her

and she weighed in at 13st 3lb.

THEY CHEER

1st 3lb. This is good.

-This is good.

-This is good.

The hardest thing for me is going to be the maintenance,

staying around the same sort of weight.

Claire Mitchell is on holiday, but weighed herself before she went.

She started out at 12st 4lb.

I weigh in...11st 9.5lb.

That's the lowest I've been yet.

Well done, that's 8.5lb.

Hey, listen, I think we have all done very well.

I think it calls for a celebration, and what do you do to celebrate?

You feast.

But because of all the recipes we've got,

we can have a guilt-free feast, but just as tasty.

It's a low-cal cornucopia, and to enjoy it with us,

some of the friends who have kept us sane during the process.

THEY CHEER

In this series, we've cooked everything from reduced-calorie breakfasts

to high teas, dinners, snacks, picnics, and for this party

a lemonade jelly that comes in at just 20 calories a helping.

That's mine!

Do you know, Ann, it's only 150 calories.

If she eats the whole bowlful.

The desserts that these two lads make, absolutely stomping.

I'm going to keep the weight off and lose more,

that is genuinely, honestly due to the Bikers' recipes.

Like it says on the tin, Si, this is food you can love

and still lose weight.

I have learnt to make sure a treat is actually a treat.

You sit down and you enjoy it

and you take time to enjoy your treat instead of like eating on the go

and eating stuff just because you think you want it.

It's the beginning of a new life for me

in the way that I'm going to change my lifestyle,

look at things in a totally different way.

The experience of a lifetime.

It's not diet food, it's things that you can make for a family

and that you can enjoy all the time, and it's low-calorie, as well.

Even dietician Ashley Adamson's head has been turned

by what she has tasted.

What do you think, Doctor?

Well, I was recommended the sweet and sour chicken so I've gone for that

and that paella just looks so good, it all looks really, really good.

Fantastic, innovative.

-Innovative, that's what it is.

-They're lovely, the tortilla bowls.

Little gorgeous loveliness.

Even a bit of cheese on the top, but it has been measured.

Vacuuming up dishes without a thought for his waistline,

our calorie guru, Professor Roy Taylor.

With the cycling I do every day as part of just normal life,

I don't particularly have to watch what I eat

because over the years I just haven't put on weight.

I can fit into the same trousers I wore when I was a student.

Have you still got them?

He's not just got them, he has got them with him.

Inside this thin man, there's a proper old hippy trying to get out.

What sort of music do you pick for a professor of age and vitality,

Thin Lizzy?

Not bad.

Followed by Slim Whitman.

I tell you, nothing by Chubby Checker.

-Or Fats Domino.

-This is getting good, Fat Boy Slim?

-No, Doctor Feelgood.

-I've got it.

MUSIC: "I Feel Good" by James Brown

# I feel good

# I knew that I would now

# I feel good... #

In just a few weeks, we've lost 14st 2lb altogether,

which is more than the Professor Roy in the all-together.

Dr Roy is the coolest dude, isn't he?

Isn't he, cutting the moves. We've done it.

-It's been a journey.

-It has.

The thing is, Kingy,

there is an achievement that you have yet to satisfy.

One of your ambitions.

Yes, it is.

I will if you will.

Come on, you're cheating! Get that top off.

If you are not careful, I'll take my shorts off, as well.

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