12/02/2012 Something for the Weekend

I'm not ready yet! Item', I'm ready. Joining us today is Formula One

driver Mark Webber is on the show. And Mark Dolan. And we're here with

some cooking, cocktails and looking at next week's best telly. This is

Something For The Weekend. Welcome to Something For The

Weekend. It's Sunday 15 January. January! It's 12 February! What did

you think it was January. He said 15 January. It is written here!

It's been a great start today! amazing week in your towers. How is

Harry? Hoary now is good. Yes, it's been really tough. We're really

incredibly proud of him as a family but it has been a tough week.

you've got your husband back. he was with his father every day.

To see people you care about going through that, but, as I said, it

was a great outcome. And go on, tell us, the England manager?

know what, I honestly don't know. I would share it with you if I knew.

But all I know is he's loving todayen ham at the moment and he

loves being there and I think he'll be there till the end of the season.

But he is honoured. There's never been such a shoo-in for an England

manager as Harry. The whole world wants him. And you and I are second

and third, truth be told. And that day in his life must have been

amazing. He got off and everybody was saying, "Wow, and you're going

to be England manager. There is some bad news if you haven't heard.

Withy Houston died last night. They think it might be connected with

drugs. But we don't know why. think it's incredibly sad. For me,

she was my all-time singer, growing up. She made me want to go to stage

school. It is the gramy awards tonight and she was supposed to be

there. What are they like? It's really interesting. It's not like

the BRITs, here you can sit down and have dinner and converse, and

go to the loo. But in Grammys are so different. Go to the loo? Well,

you need to, it's five hours long! And it's the BAFTAs tonight as well.

The best film. The artist, the decentants, tinker, Taylor Soldier

That noise was a gadget. It was a dog who is here to model one of the

gadgets. I've not seen any of the films. Have you? Yes, I have.

Tinker, Taylor Soldier Spy. I've seen none of them. Where have we

been? Cinema is a cultural void for me. What have you seen? I only see

kids films. All the kids ones. Rango or Tango, what was the big

one before Christmas that everyone went to see? Hugo? No. I went to

see Av -- Alvin and the Chip monks: Ship wrecked. Was it good? It

doesn't seem to be in the BAFTAs. When we go to the San ma, I have to

take my youngest out because he feels sick after eating so many

sweets, it's great. You've really got to get your

tweets and e-mails in for Mark Webber. Especially the technical

questions about inside the bonnet. Yes, me and him are going to chat

about that later. And Mark Dolan is here to talk about his The Mad Bad

Ad Show. The ad was so successful they had to take it off the air

early because they couldn't keep up with demand for the Levi Jeans.

you have a question you want to put to Mark Webber or Mark Dolan, do

send them in. This is for Mark Webber. "Are there any tracks where

the G-force on the corners can make new drivers sick?" I'm sure he'll

answer that. I have one, "How many flights a year do you take? They

must do loads. This is from Pam to Mark Webber, "What happens if you

sneeze during a race?" Being a man who drives around on a Vesper, when

you sneeze...oh, no. Simon, what are remaking today? Smoked cheese

croquetas with chimichurri sauce. What's that? It's nice and spicey.

The main course is a simple delicious chicken pie. It's ended

up a chicken pie. We were going to do other things, but we've ended up

with chicken pie. And December rert is a tres leches cake. It's

fantastic. If you imagining making a lemon cake we're using cream and

evaporated milk. I've just had a taste outside. It is very nice.

Like condensed milk sandwiches. Oh, you can't beat that. And also

spiced beetroot hash with mackerel and poached egg. Egg, cheese and

bacon. Head to our website to follow all of those recipies.

here's what's on the rest of the show today. John gets suspicious as

the cops stop watching him on Inside Men. I'm a suspect. Do you

want to hassle me? Preparing for fatherhood on camera, in A Dad Is

Born. And Prisoners' Wives. Can somebody

help me, please? And love potions in Wayne's

Valentine's cocktails for us. What have you got? Two drinks. To

commemorate Charles Dicken's 200th birthday, celebrated this week, he

was a romancer himself and a bit of an imbiber as well, he liked punch.

And I have a cheeky Valentine's number as well. How old did Dickens

live to? He was 60 I believe. Late 60s? Have you just calculated that?

You looked so smooth doing it. I'm going 42. -- 62. I'm saying 65.

Late 60s. I've just been told 58. Late 60s. I've just been told 58.

Oh, we were way out. Right, cooking. Leeks in the pan,

we have plain flour, Applewood Cheddar, Peas, nutmeg, parsley,

panko breadcrumbs, organeo and chimichurri sauce. I went to Madrid

the other week and I had these Crockett yas. In Spain they make

them -- croquetas, in Spain they make them with a really thick sauce.

Right, you can make these, if you so wish. Once you've got a bit of

warmth in there, sprinkle a little flour on. We're making a heavy roux.

And a pinch of salt and pepper. that enough? Add all of it, but a

little at a time. So that's just leek and flour in there? Yes, it's

making a basic white sauce. Leeks are great, aren't they? Lovely. If

you don't want onion but that slight edge, they're good. Cook

that for two or three minutes. Louise actually made cakes last

week. And I don't want to pat myself on the back, but they were

really good cakes. They all had smiley faces. Louise had to make

cakes for the school, is that right? No, charity day. There's a

swagger about you this morning as a result of it. I feel really at home

now. I've never seen you so confident. Did you do smiley ones?

No, I did football ones, ones with hats, lots of characters and I

named them all. And you forgot to take a picture. It's going dry!

we're making a heavy Bosnian Serb medical sauce. So add a little bit

of milk to the flour and let it absorb, and then add some more. A

wide pan is a good thing to use because you have a bigger surface

area and it absorbs the moisture a little more quickly. And you have

the lovely smell of nutmeg in there. Next, a little bit of the smoked

cheese. You can add what you want. If this wasn't a veggie dish, then

something like Serano ham is lovely too. I'm doing this, and the girls

are giving me a thumbs up in the corner because I'm doing such a

good job. It just shows how I've come on. They're going "good

cutting !" What do you want to make next week? Oh, set me something.

Beef Wellington. No, I like to make things that don't make my kitchen

smell. Melon and cucumber sandwiches. I think you should make

a quiche. I'll even buy the pastry for you. OK. What are you going to

make to celebrate Harry becoming England coach? Quiche? She said it!

Harry becoming England coach! I didn't!

The smoked cheese is lovely. smells great. Now, we can all do

this, children. One each. Get a little ball...Shall I get one

straight after you? Absolutely. About what size? Is that golf?

table tennis. Let's go table tennis. OK, go for that! We're looking for

that kind of size and you want it to be nice and tight. And then we

roll in flour, then egg and panko breadcrumbs. But you can use

ordinary ones. And then I'm going to double dip. I'm going back in

for more. I don't care, Tim, I'm living on the edge. You're throwing

the book away. I'm going to come behind you. Sorry, do I go into the

egg and then into that? Yes, into the egg, into the breadcrumbs, back

into the egg and then the breadcrumbs again. Have you ever

done clay pigeon shooting? never. Was it good? Yeah, really

good. Did you get any? They made it easy for us, they were quite slow

at the start. It was really good fun. Into the fat! Cook those for

three or four minutes. I've got them at 180 in a deep-fat fryer.

Idealy I'd like it to be a little slower so the cheese melts, but

we're against the time. Now, I want that diced. Only about half of that.

And Lou, you can chop the parsley and the oregano. So the chimichurri

sauce is a little like salsa verdi. So it's parsley, lemon juice and

whatever you want. I like organeo. So chop that. The finer you chop it,

the nicer it is. In the meantime, I'll add a little bit of garlic as

well. Will you guys be cooking Valentine's dinners? I'm in...where

am I? I'm in Norway. That's nice. What, holiday? Yeah, meeting with

friends and stuff. I love Norway and Scandinavia. You go there a lot,

don't you? I think it's one of the great places in the world. They

send people over here all the time. Do you know how many people live in

Sweden, that huge country and only nine million people live there. And

really cute people come over here all the time and say, "It's really

boring, don't come" and that way they keep it to themselves. It's a

very beautiful country. What are you doing Valentine's, Lou? It

could be a really big celebration on Tuesday! Will we know on

Tuesday? I'm getting hot! So, the garlic and onion and lemon juice in

there. And the cock yet yas are cooking beautifully. You're

chopping that really well. going all the way round. You've got

your own technique. When you start writing your own cookery book...!

It will be out next year! On a serious note is that too chunky?

will work for us. So here are the croquetas. And the smell is lovely,

the lovely smoked cheese smell and a little salt and pepper on there.

Can you stop putting pressure on me, please. Quicker, quicker. I want to

interview Mark Webber. Am I meant to do that? That's

perfect. Beautifully done. A touch more olive oil and a touch more

vinegar in there. So this is our delicious, lovely, sweet croquettes

and then the sauce to dip in. little bit is just for me.

there's so nice. Rather than being a potato base, because they're

milky based, they're softer. that's delicious! That is yummy.

The smoked cheese. Oh, it's hot. And what are we cooking next?

delicious chicken pie, perfect for celebrating Valentine's night or

the England manager's job! Spurs fans hate us at the moment. Yes,

Spurs are doing brilliantly, he's not going to stop on them. Now,

not going to stop on them. Now, this is Inside Men. Oh, hi. How's

the car? Good, yeah, it passed. parked in your space. That's OK.

stopped in on my way home. To see if you were all OK.

Was this his idea? It's mine. stupid enough to be one of his.

Judge where's the money? It's safe. Where? When I'm ready to move, I'll

be in touch. When will that be? a suspect, do you want to be seen

hassling me. By whom? They should be watching me. Maybe you're in the

clear. No, no. Something's happened. And you can see the third part of

Inside Men on Thursday evening on BBC One at nine o'clock. I have oto

say this is an e-mail from Todd, "Did anyone else see Tim on nds man

-- Inside Men, the man who plays the boss looks like him in five

years' time. Let's have a look. What do you think? I think he looks

younger than me. Yes, I think they're similar. Would you go with

that? Yes, I would. I was always told I looked like John Scales. I

don't think so. Our first guest got behind the wheel at the tender age

of 14 and since then he's notched up a total of 30 podium places and

earning the name of one of the best drivers in the world. Have a look

at this. The Brazilian Grand Prix is under

way and Webber is under fresh from Button. On the outside of Hamilton

and takes that position. Marsh Webber wins the Brazilian

Grand Prix comfortably! Skpwrirks Amazing feeling, it must be, Mark

Webber, winning that Grand Prix. Yes, it is a good feeling. Amazing,

awesome. And the national anthem is the special thing being on the

podium and sharing it with the guys there. You should be doing it under

the British name you lived here for so lock long. I was asked that the

other day. But the Aussie flag has the Union Jack on it. But I've been

lucky and I've had a lot of support from here. You were testing

yesterday, everyone wants to know how did it go? It went well. We

always test in Spain because the weather is nice and all the teams

go down there and get into it. So a new car, a new concept and it's

early days. What's different? There's something different on the

nose this year? Yes, there a new regulation, but there is a new nose.

It doesn't look particularly pretty, but we'll work round that. There

are lots of small changes, we're constantly tweaking it and making

it better and lighter to drive it quicker. What are the things that

have changed. Are you able to say or it is it all top secret? Yes, I

can say. The blown defuser was changed last year. That is the

thing that causes the exhaust to go down through the bottom of the car

which caused us to go quicker, but that's been banned, so that has had

to be changed. Lou has glazed over! Will you ride this car in your next

race? Yes. Is this the new one? it is. Brand new. It will change

subtlely by the first race in Melbourne in a month's time but 85%

of the car will go to Melbourne. How frustrating is it when you go

to the race and the opposition end up with better cars? Yes, that's

part of the frustration. Red Bull have done a great job in recent

years, but Ferrari are phenomenal. You never know what they can do.

It's always been like this. About technology and man putting the best

package together to fry and win the grand pre-. What makes the

difference if you have two equal cars, better braking, better lines

or the accelerating? Like most things, any sport, boxing, football,

where the subtle technicalities of any sport make the difference.

Football, obviouslyy it's the subtle touch of a player and the

same with us. Technically we all do a pretty sound job, but if somebody

has that element, confidence and understanding the car, braking

deeper, getting off the corner. It's all those type of things that

come down to two-tenths of a lap, which is not a lot, but if you keep

it up for an hour-and-a-half you're down the road. Like all sports

people do you train all year round, is it physical training or mental

training? Yes, we do have to train. I'm a tall driver, so the lighter I

can be, the more ballast we can put in the car and that's an advantage.

We race for two hours, so the heart rate is up and we can lose up to

two kilograms in terms of fluid loss, sweating a lot. Two kilos!

Yes, are we having a dessert today? Yeah, yeah get some calories on.

Yes, it's 11 months of the year too, so similar to most professional

sports men and women you need to be in good nick for most of the year

and you travel as well. There is so much travelling. We had a tweet

earlier, how many flights do you do? You're definitely on the plane

once or twice a year. It's the long-haul that messes your hair up

so you need to prepare for the long- haul flights. And Formula One

is weird because your teammate is your rival. It's you versus Vettel

and Jensen versus Lewis and stuff. Is there real rivalry in the team?

There is. And I think the comparison can be made for

goalkeepers and wicketkeepers, where there's only -- there's two

roles in our team, two main drivers but you want to do a better job

than him when you can. And that's a natural competitive instinctment

and there have been tears over the years when teams can't control the

two egos and it's tough to handle. We work together. It is a bizarre

relationship but we do work together because we want the car to

be quick, but come the race day we have to sort each other out. And

that's what it's like. And how do you get on with the other drivers

in the other teams. Are you allowed to socialise together? Pretty well.

Obviously there is a cultural thing. You get on well with the Brazilians

and Jensen, I get on well with him, but Germans are different. I think

the reason the film Senna did so well was it brought a whole new

audience into Formula One. Was he a huge influence to you growing up?

Absolutely. What he stood for. He virtually changed Brazil in many

ways. They had the football success and other successes afterwards. He

was an incredibly powerful man on and off the track and when we lost

him, it was, "How the hell can we lose him" and it was a tragic

weekend. I was really happy when the movie came across because it

gave people a snapshot of what it's like, and the politics and the

drivers' briefings that can kick off a bit. And Prost was a bit of a

villain, but they needed to do that a bit, but Senna was taken away way

too early. And the sport has moved on so much. As a viewer you think

it's safe but Dan Weldon last year proved it's still dangerous. Yes,

they have improved the safety a lot which is great. We still love the

risky side of it, but we don't want to take undue risks. Jackie Stuart

has a lot to be grateful for, in the '70s they were losing guys a

lot. They've improved the fuel safety and when cars explode or hit

the wall. I've had some decent crashes and it's good to be able to

walk away from those and still compete. But you don't want to make

a habit of it. Mainly the technology has moved on the carbon

structure has developed which makes it safer. When the cash, does it

all go into slow motion? Yes it does. I've had a few where you have

time to brace yourself. You know it's not ideal but you're not sure

how it will turn out and when you come away from the wall and the

lights are still on, it's good. are fit and you have a challenge

that you do, which is the Mark Webber challenge down in Tasmania.

Yes. Explain what it's about. set it up to 2003, I just thought

to have an opportunity for people to test themselves outside their

comfort zone. It's all related back to charity. So I've done a lot of

stuff with the Leukaemia Foundation in Australia, helping youngsters

who are having a tough time. They pay money to enter the races. It's

five days, mount biking, contactbacking, and biking and it

works really well. People love it. You fancy it, don't you. It looks

brilliant. Have we got time to show That looks absolutely amazing. I

have no tied how you train for that. The tweet from Pam, what happens if

you sneeze during a race? Yeah, never sneeze in a race. I think the

instincts are that the concentration is so hard and the

adrenaline is off the scale, so I haven't had the urge to sneeze.

can't change a thing, can you? the balaclava on and we're locked

in there. But you're focused? toilet and a full bladder might

come every now and then, but that is quickly gone, you're so

concentrated. And the next race is in Australia? Yes. Is that an

important one? I'd love to win, a home race. Mark is staying with us

all morning and doing some cooking, so make your you get your questions

in for Mark or Mark Dolan. Especially if you have a question

about Formula One that we haven't asked. Now, can you guess the year

all these stories hit the headlines when this hit was in the charts in

today's Deja View? MUSIC: Teplttation.

Tshtsh Cecil Parkinson, the man who many thought might one day lead the

Conservative Party has resigned from the Cabinet. The secretary who

carrys his child asked him to marry her twice.

There is still no sign of Shergar tonight. He was stolen from his

stable late last night. A Bjorn boring is expected to

announce his retirement from top competition toon. The tennis

millionaire no longer has his heart MUSIC: Temptation.

$$4.75. I don't need it. Mrs Horton. I'm Sam Burns from the

bank. I turned you down on the house. Of course, I remember.

help you make up the difference. Thanks, I'd appreciate it. I'll pay

you back tomorrow. Oh. You're a very rude young woman. I know

Douglas and I can't believe he would want you treating customers

so badly. That, my friend, is early '80s. I think it's 1980. '81 I'll

go with then. I love that song, Heaven 17, Temptation, they're back

on the road as well. The same line- up? Minus one. I did know that.

He's being fed this by the director down his ear piece.

He's obviously a Heaven 17 fan. If ever the word my mum and

recipies come into my cooking that's going to work. So it was

granny's cake last week. This is a great location shot. Kelly and

Taylor in Cornwall with the two dogs, who are Lunar, a ridge back.

And Major a boxer. They were used for hunting lions. They're big dogs

and need a lot of exercise. I like those. And the other interesting

thing is that Taylor is doing the bike challenge like you. I'm really

strong with my cycling. This is Dan Ward who made granny's cake again.

Credit my mum if you win your competition with your cake. These

are perfect pictures. Alex from Gloucestershire also made the

granny cake. And we've got two videos. This is our final misshapen

a tempt at Simon's granny's cake. That's good. And finally...

week, it's cold out there. You know what you want, love, a slice of my

granny cake, to warm your cockles. Oh, Tim, how fruity, at your age,

at my age, young man! I don't remember filming that. You look

good in it. I know what we haven't done. If you want to be on the

fridge of fame take a photo and send it to us or tweet us. I like

the idea of vil vi ngettes. Yes, keep them coming in. People ask

what did I look like with hair. This is me in Edinburgh in 19816789

Oh, I like the scarf. You had curly hair. Or did you have a perm?

that's proper me. Your son is laughing behind the camera. Hey,

stop that. And this is Wayne. Check this out!

That is cool. Kan, how old are you there? That was in 1993, so... I

was 23 years old. I was working in California. I can see the

waistcoats and style and shape have changed somewhat since there.

you have a green card? No comment. Moving on! OK, it's Valentine's Day

on Tuesday, Tim. What are we going to make? A chicken pie.

celebrate Harry getting the England job we're going to make chicken pie.

Exactly. So, chicken, bacon, butter beans out of a tin, onion and thyme

and pastry. Firstly, you slice the onion. Slice or dies? Slice, I

think. Slice the onion. This way? think. Slice the onion. This way?

Whatever way you want. A little bit of flour on to our

chicken and we fry it off. What we're doing with this is making the

filling and letting it go cold and put the pastry on top. We're using

thighs to get some delicious flavours, because it's a much

richer flavour than just using the breast of the chicken. That goes

into the hot pan to get a little bit of colour. How much commitment

is there in this dish? How long. Hang on to that a minute....OK...If

you could. How much commitment? We're looking at a 40 minuteing

cook and then we're waiting for it to go cold. But remember, it's

Valentine's Day. It's for the one you love. Is it longer than a round

of golf, Simon? No. You could make this filling today and then let it

go cold and then you could cook it on Tuesday for the pie. That's a

lot of commitment. That. It's the day of commitment to the one you

love. You're right. Let's imagine you have a nice bit of colour on

there. Flip them over. And when you have a bit of colour, a nice hot

pan to seal it off. Really golden brown, ready to eat. Yes, to get

the flavour in it and the skin is putting the flavour in there. We've

cooked the bacon off already. So now we can have the onions, Tim.

They can come into this pan. So you have flour with chicken and baken

flavour er in it, and that goes in with a touch more oil. Give it a

bit of a scrape around to get all of the bits in it to get more and

more flavour. Cook that for four or five minutes, until the onions are

soft. Let's imagine we've done that and glug in some white wine and the

pan needs to be really nice and hot. Chuck in the thyme and all of that

is quite delicious. Do you chuck in the stalks as well? The whole lot?

Yes, all in. You'll see in a second because now we get rid of all the

little bits. So we're putting in lots of flavour and making it

simple. Chuck in the stock and that comes to the boil. Then we chuck

back in the bacon and we chuck in the chicken and chuck in the beans.

Just butter beans out of a tin. Cover it and simmer it for 40

minutes. When it's cooked, take it off to go cold but also dot some

butter on the top to thicken it. This is after the 40 minutes?

all of this goes in. Cooks for 45 minutes, take it off the heat and

let it go cold with the butter on tomorrow. So it's really thick and

that's what you want it to be. It shouldn't be a soft sauce now it's

really thick and all the delicious fat from the chicken has formed it.

Now, flake the chicken. I've done a bit already. So get your hands in

and pull the meat off. It was such a shame that all the football was

cancelled yesterday because of the weather. I was really looking

forward to it. Yeah it's a shame because of the weather. Oh, well.

We have to talk about another sport. Do you know who I met this week? A

guy called Lewis Smith? He's our pommel horse gymnastics olivian.

He's the first British male Olympian to win a medal since 1908.

Top guy, but it's so scary, he does all this training and it all comes

down, after all these years of work, he has 50 seconds to prove he is

top. It's so care skaery and if you happen to get an -- scary and if

you happen to get an jury just before it. I'm getting excited

about the Olympics now, you know, especially with our catering

business. It's all about the pies. We have to think about the profit

margins. Not so much filling and lots of air. Smaller containers,

and individuals and puff pastry. There's massive of money in it, we

have to think of menus. And we need to speak to Sebastian Coe. So when

you speak to Mr Coe, prior to letting him know...I'm just amusing

myself here with my jokes, no-one else finds them funny! Ask about

what? Whether we can do the catering business? To be honest

with you, once we've got our van we'll just rock up with our van.

They wouldn't chuck us away would they? We do a bit of that! Yes. A

little bit of egg wash on there. Short crust pastry, or you could

use puff. Would you like to crimp. I'd love to. I'll just wash my

hands, having just coughed on them. Good job you didn't have your

helmet on. Oh, we do amuse ourselves. I do think our catering

will be successful. At the end of the day I've got a gold medal for

catering from the British Armed Forces. I've already got my gold so

I think it will be a success. Have you got many trophies in your house

for sport? A few, from when I was a kid. Yes. Why? I just wondered

because my kid, Hamish, he's got loads already and I never had many

when I was a kid. Hold that and around you G OK. You can make this

in advance. For the one you love...Are You going to put a love

heart on the top of it? You could make one out of pastry, Tim. That

would be beautiful. A couple of slits in the top to let the steam

out. You're going to do a heart. There you go. Is that all right?

Lovely. Lots of egg wash on the top. It's important that you don't put

the pastry on until all of the filling is cold. Because if you do,

if you were to make the filling and then put the pastry on, the heat of

the filling would make the pastry soggy in the middle which we don't

want. Is has to took from this way in. That's right. It's got to be

cooked and go cold and put the pastry on. Bake that for 45 minutes

or so, until you get lovely, crisp, golden pastry. Check that out!

That's what you want. Never mind fancy food, if you're going to have

a romantic meal on Tuesday night, a pie is what they want? It's what

they want. The way to a lady's heart is pie. A big, burly pie! The

way to a lady's heart. I think there are many women at home going,

"No, it's not" .! Help yourself. That looks awesome. I'm going to

take a little bit of pastry, Si. To taste. We've done it with chicken.

You could do it with rabbit, beef or lamb. Or with squirrel, Louise.

I said we should do it with squirrel. That is repugnant. They

sell squirrel at wait rose. -- wait rows. So this tooks a day-and-a-

half to cook this! And what's next? Tres leches cake. Another good one

for Valentine's Day. You can find all the recipies at the website.

And keep the questions coming in for Mark Webber or Mark dole ian.

Or tweet them. Now, nothing focuses the male mind

quite like the prospect of becoming a father and these three men only

have to wait weeks. This is a dad is worn.

Greg, is a multi-millionaire trader whose girlfriend is expecting a

baby in four weeks. Victor is a minicab driver from Hungary, who

will become a father for the first time in ten days.

Jamie is a recruitment consultant whose first child is due in two

months' time. These men are all determined to become involved,

caring dads. But they all know that this isn't going to be

straightforward or easy. Hello? Hello? Hello. I wanted to follow

the experience of birth, purely from the father's point of view and

see how babies change men. And you can watch A Dad Is Born, a

Wonderland film on Thursday on BBC Two at nine. Our next guest is back

on the television after writing and performing in Comedy Land. First of

all, as a little warm-up, show me you can do various emotions with

your face. Show me your, I'm pleased to see you face. How, a

disapproving face. How would you go about that? Now you might like to

show me your very approving face. OK. Good. OK, in that case, let's

look at some of the examples that fit the context of our work. These

show me you are, "Sorry, no groups of lads face" please show me your,

"Sweetheart, do you have any ID face." Welcome to something

something, Mark Dolan. It's a wonder they didn't kill me. I posed

as the boss of an industry each week. They were security guards. We

got some very hard-core bouncers in and they did some extraordinary

things. They made good faces. were good. Did you tell them they

were going to be on air? Yes, yes. Same with Balls Of Steel you always

have to have the public's permission, and rightly so. And

these interviews were a strange experience and surreal and normally

they are relieved that I wasn't real because normally what I was

requesting them to do is so odd they were glad I wasn't out in the

real world. How many said, "No."? We were going to do one on teachers

and I pretended that I had opened up a brand new school in the

country and understandably so, there were a lot of teachers, but

it worked in the end. Three fantastic people agreed to be on

the show. But the bouncer enjoyed it. It's a good story for the pub.

How many people when you interview them go, "You're winding me up"?

Across the series I did 30 or 40 interviews and nobody rumbled us, I

think because when you're in a job situation you don't have the chance

to step back and ask, "Why is he asking me to dress as a rabbit" you

have a mortgage to pay. One individual say, "Excuse me I'm not

enjoying this interview, do we mind if we stop now." That's the closest

we got to being rumbled. But very mild. And these questions are do

you have any more Balls Of Steel planned? It is a very loved show

and people never stop asking me about it. And it never goes away,

it's constantly repeated. So it's very fresh in people's minds.

suppose we should explain it in case people don't know? It's a

seminal, that's probably the wrong choice of word for a Sunday morning

show. It's a hidden camera with high jinxes, and a camdy character

goes around doing annoying things to the public. There was the bunny

boiler woman, who would approach a couple and start flirting

outrageously with the man. And it's a show we're all very proud of, so

never say never. You did do some stunts on celebrities who hated it.

One being Tom Cruise. I think we have a picture of it. You can see

the body language. He wasn't happy, our Tom. Were you nearby? No, that

was Michael Livingston our brilliant producer who really took

one for the team by doing that stunt. It was part of a celebrity

strand where Olivia would go and ask outrageous questions, and

usually it's a normal question to the celebrities, and Tom Cruise is

normally around for hours talking to the press and Michael asked him

a question about the film and then at a certain point water poured out

of the microphone into his face. And looking back on it, I can't

believe -- well, I don't know if we did get away with it. We call the

show Balls Of Steel and you have to walk the walk. I really enjoy the

show but I'm not sure I found that funny. And with Tom Cruise as well,

because he comes across as such a great guy. So you have to have what

the title says to do it. And what is interesting, it definitely

wasn't a publicity stunt it was just in the spirit of the show all

sorts of things had happened and because most of the victims were

the public, it just wound up in the show, and people had to agree to be

on it, but with celebrities, because they're in the public eye

you don't go through that process. You have your two minutes with them,

because they're in the public eye. And Sharon Osbourne just laughed

and swore and came back ten minute the later and chucked the water

over the camera and destroyed all the equipment. Good on her. And now

you have The Mad Bad Ad Show. Friday evening on Channel Four very

exciting. It's all about ads. It's a comedy entertainment show so we

watch old ads, new ads, and analyse them. And our teams are brilliant,

brilliant comedians and a couple of industry executives, who offer

insight into how the adverts are made. You know those favourite ones

of all time. It has that element in it. But ads are so powerful.

have a clip. That was the striking and memorable

Levi's launderette ad. The ad was so successful they had to take it

off the air early because they couldn't keep up with demand for

the jeans. Micky, do you wear jeans? I was in Gap the other day

and I took a phone call and I was over by the jeans and security came

and took me out and said, "You'll never get in them. We've got elast

Kateed round the back." Micky is brilliant. When is that on? Friday

night, Channel 4. Louise will talk to you about other stuff when

you're cooking. You're going to cook our last dish of the day. If

you still want to ask Mark Webber or Mark Dolan anything, do keep the

questions coming in. All this is still to come. Harry is shocked to

find that Gavin is being bullied in Prisoners' Wives. This is serious.

Simon Rimmer cooks mackerel beetroot hash. And Val's campaign

to get Roger's job back is thwarted. Also still to come in our

Valentine-themed round yuch, Vicky will cake us through what she has

brought in. Mark, do you cook? little bit. I'm not too big on the

cleaning up, but that's all of us. But I'm getting better. Do you have

a signature dish? Not really. important is diet for you in the

car? What do you need? When we're training pretty hard we need to

keep the fuel in, but I have a wicked sweet tooth, so I'm looking

forward to the dessert. When you're driving, do you have stuff fed in?

We have some elect lights, which is a -- electeo lights, which is a

sports drink. It's the only time I don't drink Red Bull. We have a

thing attached to what is like a windscreen wiper and that pumps it

in, if we want it. I have to point out, because you're on the BBC that

you are sponsored by Red Bull and there are other sport energy drinks

available. Yes, but it's the only available. Yes, but it's the only

original. Stop it! Now, we have creamed milk and egg yolks and

cream and vanilla and baking soda and flour. So, first job, Mark,

start whisking away on the egg whites. This is a real light cake.

There's no butter on it, so as a result, the sponge is really light

and fluffy. You can go a bit faster, if you want. In reality, you take

your time with it. Whilst you do that, can I ask some questions.

I've got so many. What is the maximum speed for your racing cars?

Now, probably 340, the quickest I've been is 370k. In the old

currency, what's that? 230 miles an hour. Wow, that is quick! Years ago

I did a formula four thing and I was terrified. I can genuinely say

when I got to a certain speed "I don't know if I like this." Are you

worried? No, I'm in charge here. I've got the helmet on and I'm

strapped in, so I feel comfort. Do you think the FIA are trying to

introduce too many changes every year? No, they need to keep making

a few changes because otherwise the teams that haven't been competitive

don't have a chance of new ideas. Subtle change is a good idea. I'm

all for that. So, you've got the egg whites and the sugar, now the

cream. This keeps is nice and light. Do I need to be quicker. Yes, in

reality, you would whisk it more to make it more voluminous. And then

the vanilla. You're big on cycling as well? Yes, I went through a big

phase with that. I love my mountain bike. Road cycling, there's been a

lot of stuff in the press about the incident between cars and bikes.

It's pretty dangerous road cycling, but it's a good way to get round.

I'll make you laugh. I've been training to do a cycle ride from it

Belgium to London, and the first time I did it, my cleats. I know.

was going up the hill and my chain came off and I looked down thinking

I had to do something about it, and suddenly I was Bam. It was really

embarrassing. But you only have to do it once. Years, -- yeah,

everybody has been there. It is embarrassing. Now, keep whipping.

How light is that cake. Sally says what type of food do you eat on

race days? I few calories. Pasta, chicken and salad. That's on race

day. Appetite of race days is not good because of nerves. Is there

any sportsmanship going on in the pits prior to the race, or on the

track, is there anything where you intimidate your opposition?

There might be a little bit of banter, like we do a parade, all

the drivers together. But, no, it's pretty tame. And lieuise Hamilton

last year got in trouble for going in front of you, afterwards do you

have words if you think it's dangerous? Yes, of course. We have

words and just sort it out. But, you know, we've got convenient

memories! And is there a different style to drivers as well. You and

Jessen and Lewis, and you, they have different styles? Absolutely.

There are different ways to go about the racing. And that's when

you get from a young age as well, learning different techniques.

We've had this question sent in by so many people. What happens if you

need to go to the toilet? You just go, right? I've never been in a

Grand Prix car, but in sports cars when you do three-hour stints. But

it's only water by then. And you've vomited in a car? Yes, I had a

dodgy tummy in Japan one time and I was vomiting in the car. But you

were still racing. The next time give it a go, try and be sick

sitting up. A natural reaction obviously is always, to help it

along. As we're cooking, but sitting up is tough! Yes, enjoy

your breakfast, people. Yes, sorry, guys. Now just put lots of holes in

this. You make the cake and then pour in a lot of sauce to make it

juicy. Pour half of it over and let it go cold so all of this delicious

sauce just soaks into the cake. So let it go cold and we end up with

this. So, it's sticky and deliciously sweet. You said you had

a sweet tooth, Mark. I have, yes. This will be a real boon for that.

And it's really so lovely and light. And I'll just cut some squares so

we can all have a bit. You see how light and springy it is, and again,

all of this delicious sauce has soaked in but add yet more sauce.

So it's incredibly sweet. It's a real South American flavour. Dig

into that and I'll plate up some more for us. Let's get stuck in.

Mark, we are cooking a curry beetroot hash cake. I'm a bit

worried about my blood sugar as this will be the first meal of the

day. Oh, you'll get into trouble for that. That's really sweet.

can feel the diabetes kicking in. It's fantastic. In a moment, Wayne

has a romantic cocktail for us, but now another chance to guess the

now another chance to guess the year that all this happened.

Cecil Parkinson, the man who many thought might one day lead the

Conservative Party has resigned from the Government. The secretary

who carries his child says she asked him to marry her twice.

is still no sign of Shergar tonight. Britain's most valuable race horse

was stolen from a stud farm in the Irish Republic late last night.

It's not known who took it or where or why. Bjorn Borg is expected to

announce his retirement from the top competition soon. He no longer

has an interest in the game. Keep giving it. I see the coast of

Mexico coming! I'm not enjoying this. Give it a chance. I'm going

to stop. # Fly me to the moon # Right, Heaven 17 there with

Temptation. I went '82, Simon went '80. Louise? 82. Let's remind

everyone what Wayne looked like in the earl y '80s. You look like you

could have been in the film, Cocktail. I could have got it. A

bit young at the time. You have two cocktails for us? I have. The first

one is to commemorate Charles Dickens and his bicentenary. He was

a great lover of mixed drinks. And one of the best he said he tasted

was a sherry cobbler when he went over to the United States. In 1844

he said, "This wonderful in vention and it's called a sherry cobbler."

A cobbler is an old English term for an inn keeper. This contains

orange pieces and pineapple chupbgs. Traditionally it was based on

sherry and sugar and Maraschino. A touch of sugar, a splash of lemon

juice and then a shot-and-a-half of medium-dry sherry, amonth lay dough.

-- Amontillado. And it's shaken up over ice. Are we advising people to

make this for their loved ones on Tuesday? You could do if you wanted

to. Was Charles Dickens a bit of a Filanderer?

So you shake it over the cobbler ice. This would have been around

the time when ice just started to appear in America in mixed drinks.

And a slice of orange, a cherry and a sprig of mint. I really feel like

I need this today! Do you, Tim? That is really lovely.

delicious. It almost doesn't taste like alcohol, in a good way.

think you have the mixture of the acidity of the orange and the

pineapple. And the ice does it to drinks as well. This is chocolate

rasberry vodka. This is called the love dart and it's a nice mixture

of chocolate rasberry vodka. Few! It's nice and cold as well because

it's been frozen. Pomegranate juice, which is good for the heart, they

say. Is that like a syrup? Yes, it's a sugar syrup. Normally equal

parts of caster sugar to juice. But you can buy it now. Mix it up with

a bit of lemon and here is some lovely pink sham wane with Rose

water, to give it a floral note. Will you be making these on

Tuesday? I might do. I'll have to check when - I get home what the

Mrs Wants to do. And the girls. And a chocolate rose there. That is the

love dart. You can get all of the cocktail recipies on the website.

That's fab. Overbearing mum, Harriet tries to reason with the

prison when she finds out her son, Gavin, is being bullied. This is

the brilliant Prisoners' Wives. I said there's a queue. I know.

said there's a queue. I'm sorry. I'm not pushing in. If you don't

mind going to the back of the queue. My son. I think he's in trouble.

Why do you think he's in here. somebody help me, please?

everything all right? I just need to see my son. OK. Oh, no. It's not

that bad. He's fine but he has been taken to hospital. What? A few cuts

and bruises, a sprain but nothing serious. This is serious. I know.

wish I could see him or just talk to him to find out what is going on.

I'm sorry. You can't. But I could. And he's experiencing problems.

Maybe we can get him transferred to the VP wing. What? Vulnerable

prisoners. Could you? The direct number for safe custody. If

anything like that happens again, that will get you straight through

to them. You can always come and see me. Thank you. And you can

catch the next episode of prisoners' wives on Tuesday night

on BBC One. Nicky Dean has Valentine ideas. We've got loads to

get huge. A happy early Valentine's Day to you. Let's start with this.

It's called the Smitten. It's a glove with two arm holes and we can

hold hands as well. And you do get the other glove as well. Let go!

�24.99 that will cost you. Slankets. The blanket with the arm holes. We

have a film. They are the epitome of romance. Ah, look, there are the

boys. Looking happy. Is that what you do at home. Yeah, Saturday

night, Simon and me watching the Spanish football. How sweet. Two

arm holes in there for you. And some confectionery as well. These

are from cryptsy cream. They will cost �1.60 each or a dozen for

�10.99. Tasty? Not bad. -- they are from Krispy Kreme. And we have some

Love Hearts merchandise as well. These have been released especially

for Valentine's Day. If you're thinking of popping the question

they actually say "marry me" on them. So they can help you out. And

these are hand-moulded chocolate roses. They have a scent as well.

They've been hand-moulded and stitched to the leaves here. They

are �13.99 each. So they are not cheap, but they are rather nice and

there is dark and milk chocolate. Now, gadgets. This is the Adidas,

adiZero. The My Coach technology is dubbed the first football boot with

a brain. In the F50 boot there is a cavity inside where it goes to

trach your information better. It will analyse your performance on

the pitch and you can upload that to your smart phone or PC and

compare it with your friends. pro-football clubs have these

things where they analyse the players, so now it's your chance to

do the same. Yes, and Messe has one in his boots as well, so you can

see how you perform against him. I love this. This is the I station

docking station. We have the I pad on here. They also do it for the

Samsung Galaxy as well. And you can have it in landscape or portrait.

We have a set it up with Simon on there. How much is this? �129.99.

That's not bad. If you shop around you can get it a little cheaper.

That's not bad, if you like the look and feel of a desk top and we

have the wireless keyboard as well if you need to do some work as well.

This is the Phillips skin rejuvenation. It's not cheap, but

let me tell you what it does. It's impressive. It's the very first at-

home laser beam. It has been designed with one of the leading

laser designers in the world. It eliminates lines. Does it make you

look younger? Yes. The red light has gone on because we used it

yesterday and it stops you from overusing it. How much is it?

Wow! You're supposed to use it two times a week for eight weeks. I

realise not everyone has a Valentine, it's not a nice day for

some people you might not have a partner or don't like them. So this

are the two dogs. And they are modelling some of these fantastic

Pucci pet wear. They are hoodies �27.50. Dressing your dog up is all

the range and they come in all sizes. And there is a little T-

shirt. They don't look that keen on them, do they. Yes, and we have Dog

Cupcakes, from Wilson's bakery. Made with pet-friendly ingredients

so you don't have to worry about giving them to them. Do you fancy

that? They're good enough for humans to eat as well, if your dog

doesn't like them. So they won't be wasted.

Eat it! No, not interested. Thanks, Nikki. For more information just e-

mail us or text us or go to the website.

This is Roger and Val, and Val was helping Roger with his unfair

dismissal case and they're hearing from the solicitor. Oh, solicitor.

Oh, a bit of bad news. You see, you see. Phil has banned the stickers.

He can't do that. Freedom of speech. I've just given one to Sue in the

toilets. Not for ordinary people. He's asked us not to wear them in

the court. On what grounds? On the grounds, "I believe Roger was

unfairly dismissed" is a biased and unfair statement. This is all my

fault. How can that be? I've put too much on them, haven't I. Peace,

St John's Ambulance. Free Willie. One word, two, three at the most.

That's what people have on stickers. No, Val. Don't you go down, not my

mask yacht. Don't make me that now, Roger, because I'm having a slump

about the stickers. Stop it. Allow me to have my slump. People around

you also need to have slumps. minute, Roger, I will be fine. But

just for now allow me to be the reaction of how I feel inside,

which is this! Arghhh! Arghhhhhh! And you can see that episode of

Roger and Val have just got in on Wednesday night at ten. But now,

Mark Dolan joins me in the kitchen. Yes, and you've given me a lot of

Stanstead Airport implements. you cook? I do. But I'm good with

stews. Anything you just chuck in and go to be pub for hours. I don't

do fiddly stuff. I wouldn't make my do fiddly stuff. I wouldn't make my

own pasta. Nor me. Right this is mackerel with poached egg. What

time of day would you eat that? Brunch? This could be an early

supper which sounds a little posey. I like food that you're meant to

eat earlier in the day at night- time. Yes, cornflakes. I am talking

cereal. So, we have mint and tax toe, red vine vinegar, dem rareia

sugar, onion and ginger and spring origin join and curry powder and

potato. If you use raw potato it false apart. So we've boiled it for

exactly seven minutes. Is that what we call a par-boil? Oh, look at you.

I looked it up! We need some starch so we haven't even par-boiled it.

Not as long. We need long pieces. If they're too short it doesn't

hold together. So you can do that, Mark. OK. Right, the world and me,

the series that I best know you have is the world's Smallest man

and all the animal programmes. What out of all of those programmes

meant the most to you, where you had a connection? Well, there are

two answers. First of all, in terms of the most extraordinary

experience for me, it was meeting the smallest man in the world. And

that first Hair Ping Ping and from memory he was 68cm high. He was so

is tiny yet he was a grown man. Sadly he is not with us. His hands

were like a doll and his voice was so high and so tiny. And I'd

literally never had an experience like it before and it was very

special. Did you find with him because of his size and voice you

were talking to him as if he were a child, rather than an adult? We had

this dilemma. We had many chats beforehand about how I would

approach it and the challenge was not to treat any of these men like

children, because they were 16, 21 and another in his mid-20s. And

actually they were different. So Hair Ping Ping was a man. He was a

heavy smoker and had a swagger. So immediately the message came from

him, "Do not be little me in any way" but confusingly I went to meet

-- there is Hair Ping Ping, but now the smallest man alive is 63cm in

height. And he is also like a child. He lived at home with his parents

and he plays with his toys. And he was very much like a child and the

only way I could treat him was how I treated my two-year-old son at

the time. Which was confusing. I've had an opportunity to write a book

about it all. It is out now and what I realised in the end is just

everybody is a different case and you cannot have a blanket approach

of how to handle these encounters. Just as you would if you went into

anyone's house. You would judge the mood. Yes. So we have beetroot,

curry powder and the potato and the stickyness of the potato is holding

it together. It's like a potato cake. I don't think many people

have seen, I always see pickled beetroot. You rarely see raw

beetroot. It's the greatest vegetable in the world. So this is

raw? Yes. Now we're going to make a cut knee. So cut that in half and

slice it. And then we have the eithery flavour of the beetroot and

the potato and now we put fire in the belly. And do you want thin

slices of onion. The thinner the better. So that's ginger there?

Ginger is quite hard to put in food. You can put too much in? Yes, and

then everything tastes like ginger. Yes, well cut down the amount and

use the amount for one or just have ground ginger and use a tiny

spoonful. And you can always add it as you're cooking? It's easier to

add, Lou. Now you're a chef. Oil in the pan and, Mark that will

do on the onion. And that will go in with the ginger and garlic.

smells amazing. You can have a dip there. You mentioned a documentary

series. I got used to eating with these extraordinary people and that

was when we bonded, because that's when everyone lets their guard down.

That's what we were saying before we came on air that you must have

become very fond and slightly protective over the people you met?

Oofrpblgts definitely. Anybody, really, who isn't an overexposed

celebrity is flattered if you are interested in their lives and they

are flattered. And for these unusual people to come along and

spend time with them and be very sincere, which I was. You feel bad

when you leave them because you leave them in the lurch. Because

there is a degree of hope for anyone in a difficult situation

that if there is a bit of media attention, things might change. But

you have to look out for them because you don't want it to become

negative. It's not a laughing issue you're talking about, so it has to

be cleverly done. No, it isn't. have had to rattle on. So, in here

we put the onion, garlic, chilly, sugar, cherry tomatoes and vein a

gar. We're now quickly warming through the poached egg. I didn't

realise you can re-warm an egg? It's not dangerous? No, absolutely.

Put them in cold water. Then sit the smoked mark rel, which is

beautiful with the beat - mackerel, which is beautiful with the

beetroot. I think the best thing is the poached egg. I've never made a

the poached egg. I've never made a poached egg that didn't collapse.

The Deja View year is 19736789 We have loads of questions, but not a

lot of time. You do spend a lot of time on Twitter? Yes, I do. Aussie

grit. So you can ask him anything after the show. He's on there. This

is from Jayne. After the speeds you do around the track, do you find it

hard to keep to road speeds driving your own car? Obviously it is

pretty slow on the roads. Yeah, we are very relaxed behind the wheel.

Which track is the most challenging on the driver? Probably month Carlo.

I've driven in month Carlo. The traffic is unbelievable! It's Mark

and Mark. And people were Tweeting me saying, "How are you enjoying