05/02/2012 Something for the Weekend

Good morning. Joining us today, actor Peter Capaldi, currently

playing in the West End Lady Killers. They're here for cocktails,

chat and the best of next week's telly. This is Something For the

Welcome to Something For the Weekend. We were off last week

because of the Australian Open tennis which I missed. Apparently

it was fantastic, went on for five- and-a-half hours, but I was living

last week in France. Very nice.S. was up mountains snowboarding, very

good. I think we have some pictures of me - there's me in camouflage.

What do you make of that jacket? would never have you down in that

There's me the top of the mountain. The conditions were phenomenal,

deep powder. I snowboarded to work this morning. Did I pick up any

injuries? Yeah. I did my groin in. I am not the best snowboarder in

the world. I am all right. I can get down. I can ride, switch and

stuff, but I tried to do some 180s. I'm really - really, really not the

right age to try to do that. I pulled my groin - oh! Like that.

See, you pulled your groin when you were cooking. I did. See, how I

thought I could do it in the snow... I was living in Spain last week. I

went with the kids. There is me in the central market. If you have

never gone, go. This is all of us at the Bernabeu. It was brilliant,

an amazing match. 3-1. Yeah, one goal down, so it was exciting.

Jose? I had a chat with him. He said he's looking forward to being

Liverpool's new manager. Oh, he's coming back, the Chosen One! What

did you do last week? Nothing, stayed at home. All yours. These

are called Eat Fit Dumbbell Cutlery Set. They're perfect for people who

want to eat themselves fit apparently, and they're heavy. The

knife and forks weigh one kilogram each. I like this. This is two

kilograms. I think this is a great idea. The knife and fork set costs

�69.99. If you were eating custard and pudding, you would get bored

after a few mouthfuls and you wouldn't eat it - this is boring!

The knife, spoon and fork set costs �89.99. What do you think of these

in your restaurants? I think they're for the person who has

everything. I think it's for the future. �69.99... It's not cheap.

On today's show our foodie is going to be making a bun sandwich - I

don't know what that is. And Peter is here to talk about his West End

production of the Lady Killers. It sounds daft, but I really find

this quite moving. Why is that? How is it we feel such affection for

still pictures projected at 24 frames per second? That's one of

the great mysteries of the cinema, like what it is they put on the hot

dogs. If you have a question you want to put to our guests, e-mail

Simon, what are you doing for us today? So we start with smoked

haddock and leek tartlets with a tasty tomato salad underneath it,

simple, and great for a cold day like today. And Rosemary and

meatballs with a bloody marry -- Mary sauce. Can you explain this to

Louise? Yes. Veal has a bad rep for being poor treatment of male calves.

Rose veal, a British invention doesn't do that - they get looked

after. They live for six months which lambs live for. It's one of

the recommended things we eat from animal welfare. Is that something

the British have done? Very much - it started in Britain, but now it's

spreading. We invented it of course. I had veal in France. I assumed it

would be rose veal, but do you think it would be normal veal?

dessert today - yeah. It would have been? Luckily I have this dumbbell.

I just assumed stupidly that the whole world would have... I think

eventually it will. Sorry, we're skipping - I think eventually it

will because at the end of the day, animal welfare becomes... That's

what I thought... Where we lead, the rest of the world will follow.

Finally the last dish is redolentils with date and cumin.

It's similar to a dahl. It has watercress and dates. Nice.

Head to our website to follow all of those recipes.

Here is on the rest of the show. Val gets worked up about an

interview in Roger and Val. I am a Chinese gymnast. I may bend, but I

will never break. New vampire Hal has a trim in the new series of

Being Human. Hilarious every time. It's visiting time again in

Prisoners' Wives. This is Pip. He's Right. Wayne is over there in the

bar area. What do you have for us today? Since we're in the grip of

this cold weather coming all week we're going to do winter warmers. I

have a nice aproske-style drink with some whipped cream. I also

have an old-school fireplace cocktail. A fireplace cocktail.

What does that mean? You sit by the fire and have a little sip, warm

yourself up. Do you have a fire, a burning log fire, in your house?

I have a button you press. It looks a bit like it. Is there like a

flickery thingy? It's like I have a hole in the wall with some kind of

things... I have one of those. It doesn't give my heat out. No, just

looks good. I have one, in the front room, a

real fire - it's lovely. Yeah, yeah. Smoke whreast? Smokeless fuel - you

can't burn logs, can you? What you got there? I thought I

would mention that. Woo-woo! Mission achieved, Blue Peter. Have

you never done Blue Peter? I have. Why have I not got one? I have a

Blue Peter badge. Loser! Seriously, how did you both get one of them? I

presented it. I did something I can't message because they launched

the campaign this week. I have done Blue Peter many times and never

been given a badge. Is this a bad thing? Yes. I am slightly concerned

you're so proud of them. Where can we get in? Chessington Zoo. Is that

it? I think there are other places as well. I tried to get free beer

in a pub. It didn't work. We should start going to them all as adults -

"Hey, let us in." I can't believe you have hid than from me and just

got it out of the pocket and put it on. He was bragging about his. I

thought I would bring mine in. What we making? We're going to is make a

smoked haddock and leek tart. We have egg yolks, whole eggs, lemon,

chilli flakes, leeks, tomatoes, thyme, garlic, olive oil, and you

have cream there. So Louise Redknapp, if you would like to put

the egg yolks and the whole eggs, and then if you would like to zest

the lemon and cheese the... Hang on, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! Two whole eggs.

Meantime, top and tail the leeks. Just do one, otherwise we'll be

here all day - down the middle - just into thin strips. What do you

mean? Into half moons but nice and thin because these are delicate

tart cakes. We could do a large one of these, maybe stick an extra egg

in. So zest the lemon, Lou. Madrid is one of my favourite places to go

in Europe. I'll back you up. I have been in Barcelona. I have been to

Valencia which I love. Have you been to any of those jamon places?

Incredible. Emberi co ham is delicious. It's expensive. �100 a

slice. Yeah. We had a plate of very expensive ham. I can honestly say

it was worth every penny. It's such a big, deep, rich flavour. It's

superb and just the way they do simple slightly toasted bet with

tomato and garlic on top, then they lay the ham on top of it... Where's

your favourite places in Europe to go, cities? For food or...

general. Because I like Berlin. like Palma, actually. I love it.

It's a small city. They have the most amazing cathedral, amazing

tapas restaurants. What's the football stadium like? It's lovely

- I think. I have not personally been there. I thought Jamie made

you go there? No. I go. They stay indoors. He says it's very good, so

I take his word for it. They have a nice atmosphere. I think that's the

best thing to do, travel around Europe and go to football stadiums.

I would like to do a Hammond football trip - we can do Ceranno,

Palma, all the places that do good ham and football. All of my boys

like ham. We'll take your boys with us. What What more could you want?

The next thing we do - Tim - I am jumping ahead of myself. I am so

little bit of oil. Just cook them slowly, gently so they wilt down.

Would you like me to be doing anything over here? That is

beautiful. We cook these fellas down until they're nice and soft.

These are our leeks cooked. We have also cooked the smoked haddock.

What you could do is spoon some leeks into our tart cases just to

sort of half fill them. Meanwhile, Tim, if you would like to flake a

little bit of smoked haddock. That'll sit on top of the leeks.

love leeks. I cook them in stir-fry veg. I even like leeks on the top

of a salad. Raw leeks are great. I love it when you talk like this.

you? I also am making cakes next week. Charlie is running the cake

stall next week. We have to make homemade cakes. I don't know if

he's lying. Have you decided what kind you're going to make? Yeah.

You might get a phone call. thought that was going to happen!

We have bought a book. We're going to make bulldog cakes and pandas.

The pandas are made with biscuits and one little one on top of a big

one. I'm going to be - hours! What's a bulldog cake? A cupcake.

They show you templates. You make your icing and cut out a nose.

it looks like a bulldog. Yeah. thought it was a type. I will let

you know how that goes. I think we'll definitely need photographs

on the fridge next week of the Redknapp family cake making. Next

to your bulldog so we can compare... I don't know if my son has just

said to me. I said, "I'll get you some nice cupcakes -" he said, "No,

you have to make them. Everybody else's mum is making them." On live

telly. Leek and smoked haddock is a really delicious combination. Now,

Lou, what you need to do is a spoonful of the lovely creamy

custardy mix on to the top, and you let that find its own level, and

let them stand for a couple of minutes so all the creaminess -

that's beautiful. Let them stand like that... Bountiful. We cook

them for 50 minutes until they set. We have peeled the tomatoes. We

have sliced them. Then we have put loads of good quality olive oil on,

a little bit of thyme and salt and pepper. This all soaks into the

tomato so it brings out all the flavour. "Oh, the tomatoes don't

taste like they used to anymore" - this makes them taste like they

used to - brings out the big, big flavour. I didn't know many people

say that. I have to say, they don't taste like when I am in Palma.

Is that because they just do - if you get them in a restaurant - in

tapas-type restaurants they're in garlic and salt and everything...

lot of mass growings, they don't come out of the like they do in the

ground - they cook them in bought it, and then cooked. That

comes out like that. Beautiful. Then what we're going to do to

serve this, I mean, this as a salad on its own, this is a delicious

tomato salad. It's a great thing to do. It brings out loads of flavour.

How long do you leave that for? least 20 minutes. If you can stick

it in the fridge and leave it for an hour, two hours... Did he say

salt olive oil? Thyme, garlic, salt and pepper. You could add balsamic

as well. Have you taken the skins off? Yeah. Do you have to? It's

nicer. Because if you don't, when you come to eat it you'll get that

kind of chewiness. There's our lunch. You'll get that chewiness

thaw don't want. Now we have got that creaminess of the haddock,

leeks and pastry and the freshness underneath of the tomato and the

garlic and the olive oil. This is my kind of food, Simon, this. I

can't get any. That's a properly delicious, it's that heavy with

light. The heiness with the pastry and fruitiness of the tomato. Isn't

that yum? Then that hit of chilli. I love that. What is the main

course? Rose veal meatballs with a bloody Mary sauce. You can follow

our recipes at BBC.co- -- bbc.co.uk/ Something For The

Weekend. This is the return of Dawn Weekend. This is the return of Dawn

French in Roger and Val. I tell you what you handle superbly,

stress. Yes. I am a jienees gymnast, I may bend may I won't break.

Anyone seen Val Stephenson? She's good! Yeah. You know why that is,

because I'm a cook. You should say that in the interview. I don't

think the panel would take that seriously. They think anyone can

cook a Sunday dinner. Wrong. People who can cook it, suffer stress.

Roast potatoes, carrots, timing, gravy. Yes. Everyone expects a

pudding. Could I be a deputy head? Yes! Here, here. Roger, I am

tonight how you expected me to look having just had that news? Actually,

you don't look all that fussed. But I thought that was the whole bleak

packing thing. It isn't. What? Do you want me to ask you some

questions? No, thank you. I don't need anyone's help. I've helped

What's that? Don't, don't, don't. It's not what you think.

You can see the first show in the new series of Roger and Val on

Wednesday evening, BBC Two at 10pm. Our first guest this morning is a

BAFTA winner, probably best known of his portrayal of Malcolm Tucker

in the BBC sitcom The Thick Of It. Written by Armando Iannucci. Malcom,

sorry, can we just carry on talking about that thing, was it you who

positioned me there? Do you know what the first sign of madness is?

Paranoia. Have you seen that film a Beautiful Mind, the one where the

guy thinks that the CIA are working away in the shed at the bottom of

his garden. That's you. No, I'm not the mad one here. You are the mad

one. You're Russell Crow. No, you are Russell Crow. Picking a clip

was hard to find where you didn't swear. Welcome to something for the

weekend, Peter Capaldi. Do you enjoy the swearing on the show?

like the swearing very much because I don't swear much in real life.

It's a release. I try to cut a lot of it out, actually the lines are

very witty and clever. Sometimes I think the swearing clogs it up a

little bit. Of course, it's fantastic. Are you one of those

actors who is so involved that you take it home and start swearing at

the wife and kids? Yeah I take it home and practice in the kitchen.

In the evening you can hear me swearing madly. I'm just learning

my lives. You get into a zone of scorn basically, so that's, I still

carry that round with me. Everything with an aggressive

nature. "Where's the remote control for the television! I don't have to

Mo the lawn!" My family go through hell. It's a great character where

I imagine universally people like you when they meet you.

personally? Well the character. They think he's brilliant, running

around swearing. I think they're surprised I'm not horrible like

that. That's a relief for them. I try to discourage it, but they come

up and ask me to swear at them. LAUGHTER

They do say, "Come and tell me to... Off." I say... Off and get a life

basically. They're very pleasant. They tend to be young people as

well. That's nice that the young people like the show. Who is the

character based on then? This is a, there's two people in the mix here.

Everybody says it's Alastair Campbell because obviously that's

his job. He was a spin doctor. I'm sure he was the inspiration for the

character, but when they came to me and asked me to do it, I had to

think, I didn't know Alastair. I had to think of somebody who I had

seen in action, who walked around in a suit tearing shreds off people

with the foulest language I'd ever heard. The only person I'd ever

heard was Harvey Weinstein, a producer of movies. He has a

vigorous temper. I had had him in my head and various agents I had

met in Los Angeles, who for some reason, were able to walk around in

Armani suits being terrifying. asked you before the show, what do

politicians think of it. You said you don't want to meet politicians

because... I tend to keep a distance from them because I feel

as if, first of all if you're going to satirise people you shouldn't

become pals with them. Because I'm quite soft and if we were pals I

would soften the material. Secondly, you're absorbed into their

publicity machine and you are used by them to sell whatever it is they

want to sell. Fantastic, it's coming back soon. It's coming back.

They're starting in March. I'm going to join in April. You're in

oppo now. We're in opposition now. There are quite big surprises

coming, which I won't tell you otherwise they won't be surprises.

It's going to be a lot of fun. did you get involved in acting. You

grew up in Glasgow. Yeah, it was just something I wanted to do. We

didn't have much of a connection to show business or anything in my

family. We weren't a fmily who went to the theatre or anything like

that, other than pantomime and stuff. I never went to see

Shakespeare or anything. It was just I fancied. It I thought it was

good. There's a company in Glasgow called the Citizens Theatre, they

used to do very, very bloody productions of things. The actors

were all, this was in the 70s, there was an overhang of Glam Rock.

They wore mascara and were covered in blood. I thought it looked like

quite a good job. I thought, I'll have a go at that. I was lucky. I

went to art school, not drama school, while I was there, people

were doing productions of things and trying to make little movies.

Hi this incredible stroke of luck where I met this director Bill

Forsyth who had done a film called Gregory's girl. I was involved in

punk rock and new wave, I was always at a lot of Giggs, he turned

up and said "Would you like to be in a film?" He had seen me singing

in a band. I thought it would be something, a little cheap 8mm thing

in the back streets of Glasgow. It turned out to be Local Hero with

Burt Lancaster in it. It was amazing to get a break like this. I

thought, this must be fate telling me this is what I should do, so

have a go at it. Did you stop the art completely and think acting was

the way forward? I did stop it, which was a shame, because it's the

kind of thing that although you might have a gift to be able to

draw or whatever, you have to keep at it, you have to keep doing it. I

stopped doing it because I had no training as an actor, so the whole

idea of acting was really quite challenging. I didn't come from a

background that prepared me for it in any way. I hadn't been to

college. I didn't have any armery of equipment that I could deploy. I

didn't know how you approached playing a role or anything like

that. All my energy went into trying to learn that. I began to

realise that drawing and painting and being creative and acting were

all part of the same thing. They're very creative. It's just a thing

that I, drawing was just a thing that I could do. I met, there's a

wonderful, wonderful painter and play right called John Byrne in

Scotland who wrote Tutti Fruiti and he's an extraordinarily gifted

painter. I was talking to him one day. I saw him doing fabulous

drawings, he said, well, you know if you can do this, why would you

not do this, ie, if you can draw, why not draw. From that day, I made

sure that I would draw every day. Do you? Yeah to keep the practice

up. You are in The Ladykillers in theatre. Is that what it's all

about for you being in the theatre? I haven't been in the theatre for

about five years, but sometimes a job comes along thaw think, this is

irresistible, I must do this. They sent me the script. Sean Foley is

the director who wrote Father Ted and The IT Crowd. They asked me to

play the Alec Guinness part. He's a great icon. I thought this is an

amazing part. It was an amazing team they put together with Clive

Roe, Ben Miller and a fantastic cast and Harry Peacock. I thought

I've got to do this. Although I hadn't done a huge amount of

theatre, I thought this is a muff. Wasn't there a film not that long

ago made that didn't go down that well, so it's kind of risky. Yeah

the Cohen brothers who are fabulous film makers and rarely put a foot

wrong, made an adaptation of The Ladykillers starring Tom Hanks,

which has great things in it, but doesn't quite work. We'll let them

off because they're incredible film makers, but yeah, no, it was a bit

frightening taking on such a famous movie. Your stage show's had great

reviews. Our producer has seen it and says it's amazing. It's great

fun, full of gags and finished by 10pm. Come on. You were telling me

earlier, you're work during the day as well. It's a full day. I'm doing

a series called The Hour. I'm lucky enough that they've asked me to be

in the new series of that. The most lucky thing is that it's filmed

where I live. I don't have to get up at 6am. I can get up at 7am.

have to talk about a programme on tonight, so much on at the moment.

You're doing well. Have you a thing on tonight, it's a spoof

documentary called the Criclewood Greats. Explain what that's about.

Skroo it's about, it's, I love BBC 4, you will always see fantastic

documentary about Albert ien Steen or something or Zeppelins. This is

a documentary about forgotten stars of the British film industry,

people would once were famous and now have fallen off the radar,

people like Florrie Fontaine who in the 30s was, she was a female

George Formby. She was plain speaking, a belter, everybody loved

her. During the war she became the Force's sweet heart, but the German

forces. It was discovered she had ka roused with the Nazi high

command. She was plain speaking. She said "I speak as I find." Then

she was wiped from history. But of course, she doesn't exist. We've

made her up and created clips. have a clip we're going to show now

of Mr... Dr Worm. Yes, he's a the explosion of horror movies that

came to Cricklewood, and one of the greatest of the Cricklewood greats,

the King of horror, Lionel Crisp. It's the original part of Lionel

Crisp's Dr Worm costume. That's Dr I have watched this movie so many

times, and just to hold in my hand... You know all the gestures

that thumb made. Yes, yes. Marcia, thank you so much. Oh! Look at that,

incredible. That's on tonight, right? That's lovely Marcia Warren

who plays the lady in The Ladykillers. That little section is

about horror movies and is a spoof of the hammer horror movies.

wrote this? I wrote it with one of the producers of In the Thick of It.

We have run out of time, Peter, but we can't leave this interview

without knowing what sort of band you were in. I was in a band that

was sort of new wave, punk. It had the worst name. I can't tell you

what its original name was on a Sunday morning, but it was called

the something's from Hell. Give us the first letter. It's B - OK. We

know - we all know. I think I know. What did you wear? I had dyed red

hair. I looked like a match because I was tall and thin and just had

this wave of red hair. It was that look that got you your acting part.

I did indeed. I had to get rid of the red hair. I had pierced ears.

If you have a picture of that e- mail it in. Peter is staying with

us all morning cooking. Make sure you get your questions in. Now, you

can guess the year all of this lot happened and when this hit topped

the charts in today's Deja Vu. # She's so fine

# She's so fine! # Just after 11.00am this morning the Defence

Secretary Michael Heseltine gathered up his papers at Number

Ten Downing Street and told his colleagues, "I shall have to

leave." He had resigned Common market Environment Ministers have

reacted swiftly to the disastrous pollution of the river Rhine

earlier this month after tonnes of poisonous chemicals were swished

into the Rhine by mistake. Hampton Court Palace has been badly damaged

by fire. The blaze has caused extensive damage to the property

and the priceless treasures housed there.

# Oh, oh, oh # You guys really are cowboys.

What's your problem? You're everyone's problem. That's because

every time you go up in the air, you're unsafe. I don't like you

because you're dangerous. That's right! Ice - man - I am dangerous.

Maverick, you and Goose get your butts out of that flight gear and

up to Viper's office now. Top Gun - I have never seen it. I have never

seen it. How come we have never seen that? Have you seen An Officer

and a Gentleman? Yeah. I have never seen it. Any good? No. What about

the one in the car - Tom Cruise is in a racing car... Days of Thunder.

I have not seen that. What's his new one? Cocktail. That's why Wayne

became a bar man. What year? It's the latter part of the '80s - I'll

go '87. '88. No idea. I'll go '88. We have no idea, have we? No. What

have you been cooking? We start off - Andy and daughter Laila made the

raspberry coconut squares and coordinated his daughter with the

food, which is nice. What's his daughter called? Laila? Is it

Laila? We'll go really ala. Then we have two students, Tim...

dodgers! Rachel Broomfield is on the left and fellow tax dodger...

Did they take some time out from putting tip-ex on their Dr Martens?

They'd finished eating their mung beans. They're studying landscape

archaeology. What? I didn't know you could study that. I am going

back to uni. They also made the coconut squares but with

blueberries. How can you afford blueberries? You're students.

Finally this lovely picture of Steve from the Wirral. He made

spring roles with his girlfriend Kristen. We have videos this week.

First, Sophie and Sarah from Fleet in Hampshire. Hi. We made the

raspberry coconut squares - delicious. Bucket list item number

one, getting on the Something For the Weekend fridge with my dark

chocolate bacon cupcakes. It's like - one of our cameramen...

Beautiful camera work. I like the videos. It's good.

ever, it is a Sunday, and it's, "What did Simon look like with hair

time?" Here we go. Here's me. I think I am 21 there. Looks like a

wig, doesn't it? Is that your car? That was my first car. Could I have

a look at that in more detail? My goodness. That was my Volkswagen

Beetle on the drive of my mum's. If you do want to end up on the fridge

or indeed on the screen, take a photo, put it on your smartphone

and e-mail us at bbc.co.uk/somethingfortheweekend or

Tweet it @SFTW. Loving the videos, boys and girls. Get your videos in.

What we making now? This is our meatballs, rose veal... It's good

veal - for those that just tuned in, Simon explained that rose veal is

good veal because it's treated nicely. Basically, we humanely

treat the bull calfs that ordinarily would be killed at birth,

so what happens is they're kept for six months, the same amount as a

lamb or pig would be kept, kept in good conditions, fed lots of straw,

not kept like traditional veal is kept. If you see rose veal, it's

recommended by British animal welfare as a meat we should eat.

We're doing it with a bloody mary sauce. For that we have tomato

puree, vodka, olive oil, celery stalk, tinned tomatoes, then a

little bit of parmesan cheese, egg I don't thinks, cream, veal. If you

would like to crack the eggs into there, add a little bit of salt and

pepper in there? Did you eat anything nice when you were away?

it a a burger which cost me 40 euros. What? 37 euros - because we

went to a restaurant - we were the top of a mountain. We were all

hungry. "Let's go for a -" we'll all have burgers - when the bill

came - ahh! It was ridiculous. it good... Not very - not 37 euros

worth of good. I say euros - but we did have a drink as well, but it

was quite a lot for a burger. It didn't even have a bun with it.

It came with a hash brown on the top and on the bottom, which was

nice, and no chips, straight up. Any cheese? Yeah, cheese and bacon.

At least there was cheese on it. That's what's going to make it

taste good, but does not justify - then grate some parmesan - a little

bit of parmesan in there, the milk, then get working. Meanwhile, I

should start our bloody mary. you ever going to come skiing or

snowboarding? It's just such an amazing feeling. I get loads of

grief all the time. When my daughter went skiing... You have to

take Flo and Hamish. Flo has been. She liked it. I think Hamish would

really like to do - but I worry now about my achilles... It's all about

you! I say they can go skiing,and I'll do the eating the 37 euro

burger at the top of the mountain - I can go for that! Really break it

down. What you're trying to do is get this into a modelling clay kind

of feel to it because the thing about the veal, it's a soft meat as

opposed to beef, where it's quite resistant and hard - it's soft.

It's a bit like where you have pork mince, it's soft. It's that

principle. Aside from your snowboarding, how is the cycling

coming on for your challenge with Mark Cavendish? I have been - I

have the bike now, and I am doing it. It's very hard work. I am not

very good at it. There's you on your bike. I am just finding it

hard work. I have to be honest with you. Everyone keeps telling me I am

going to enjoy it eventually. I just - it's the biggest challenge I

have done so far because I am not enjoying it whereas the other ones

I have enjoyed. What's the worst bit? All of it! Getting on the bike.

The seat bones, your bum bones, kill - I mean really hurt, really

hurt, so I - I got all the padded shorts and stuff. Hopefully, I'll

get used to it. That is a weird sensation. I remember I played

squash a couple of times. Really? Did you have a pint of skull

afterwards? I did. 1970s! 1970s! That has that same sensation

because afterwards - there is all of that kind of action - oh, man!

It really hurt. I was rubbish at it too. What am I doing now? Roll it

into bowls, basically... Golf ball? Go on. Go golf. OK. Meanwhile, our

sauce - we have onions, celery in there, a little bit of garlic as

well, have a chop of that. We cook this nice and gently. This is a

bloody mary sauce because we're going to have vodka and horseradish

in it. I have gone squash ball. Nicely done. Yellow dot. Let's

start cooking... Do they still have dots on the balls, do they? They do.

You have to heat it up under your arm. People used to walk around

with squash balls under their arms on their way to the court warming

it up. Did they? I think so. should be on telly... Doesn't work

on TV because it's so fast. Barryman... Someone Khan was always

winning... I remember Jonah Barrington. There is a huge match

today - Chelsea v United - it's an awkward time for football fans -

Simon doesn't like them at all being a Liverpool fan. I always say

with the Chelsea Man U game, if they could both lose it would be a

great situation, but that's yet to happen in football. I want to

spread the love along the M62. I am genuinely sick of the horrible

hatred between the two sides. I think it's time for proper football

fans to say, let's stop this. It's horrible. It really is. I agree,

yes! I do. I think what we should do - I think when Liverpool play

Man United next weekend, find a fan from the opposite side and hug them.

We do - we'll do a football hug. Everyone should do that. Chelsea

fans, Man U fans... Find each other and hug. Or hold hands and send the

pictures in to us. The Fulham Road holding hands. That for me is the

image I want next week on the fridge. We have the garlic, the

onion, the celery. In goes our vodka. Vodka? Yeah. This is going

to be our bloody mary sauce. Whoa! Love that. I am man! I have made

flame! Is that supposed to happen? Yeah, we're burning off the alcohol.

The alcohol goes... You could have warned me... Made it more exciting.

We cook out the tomato puree - five, six minutes. Once we cook that out,

we add our tin of chopped tomatoes - you missed the milk out of your

meatball, but it's fine. It's not important. It just gives it a

little bit of a creaminess in there. That goes in, bring it up to the

sauce so it's an oily sauce. You don't have to put extra olive oil

in, but I like it. You cook this out for 15, 20 minutes and have

this lovely, delicious sauce. grease... Then, Tim, pop the

horseradish into the sauce, then we have meatballs we're just keeping

warm. Obviously, what you do is fry them in the pan, then transfer them

straight into our sauce. You see, you just get a little bit of colour

in there. No Tobasco? No because of the horseradish cream. The two

fight each other. Smells really good. A drop of sherry in at the

end in a bloody mary is nice. What's the other thing a bit like a

bloody mary but it has clam juice in it? It has clamato juice - I

can't remember what it's called. Where's Wayne? Bloody Caesar.

could have put some clam in here. That would be nice. We warm these

through like that. We have these delicious rose veal meatballs. We

serve this with whatever pasta you want. I like it with a bit of rice

or even potato - swirl that around like that, scoop that off, and then

what we do... We're here. Hi. Then we spoon the delicious

meatballs... There is lots of activity over here with you two -

flames, laughter. Busy boys - that's what we do. Meatballs on

there, lots of that delicious sauce, then to finish it, just a little

shaving of fresh parmesan. It looks really good. I just can't taste it.

Is that bad? Not at all. You're not a meat eater anyway, but it is one

of those things genuinely it's a great thing to eat and it's making

use of magnificent British produce. I am pleased I found out about that.

They're soft. When you get them - a beef meatball, then they're quite

tough. It is delicious, and the sauce is fantastic. That little bit

of horseradish in the sauce at the What's next? Grannies loaf. You can

find all the recipes on the website. Keep your questions coming in for

Peter Capaldi and Stefan Gates or tweet them too.

There's a new vampire in town, joining Annie and Tom, for the

How does Superman cut his hair? He's indestructible, so his hair

must be too. How does he cut it? Special scissors. That's ridiculous.

I look it on the internet. looking at medical websites. Last

time you convinced yourself you had heart disease. I had the symptoms -

shortness of breath, constriction of the air waves... All the

symptoms of someone who had put their jumper on back to front.

What do you think my chances are? Paul won't talk about it. I tried

last night after Only connect and she threw the remote control at me.

I'm asking you... The last full moon left you bedridden for two

weeks. It's likely the next one will kill you.

You can watch the first part of the new series of Being Human tonight

on BBC Three at 9pm. Our next guest is no strange Tory Party kitchen,

he'll swallow -- stranger to the kitchen, he'll swallow almosting in.

For his new CBBC series he dishes out amazing facts. I want to show

you something else. I need some help. Please welcome the guests!

Big round of applause. Guys, eggs are easy to get into. They're

fragile. They break easily. Often you'll come home from the shops and

there'll be eggs broken in the packet by the time you get home. I

want you to put one finger at the top, a thumb at the bottom and then

squeeze. Go on, squeeze it. Come on! You can

do it! Squeeze it! Were you trying hard there? Yeah. I was trying to

press as hard as I can. There's special really special about an egg.

They have an incredible design. They're capable of taking huge

amounts of weight. After all chickens sit on them all the time.

Welcome to Stefan Gates. Egg, what's the point if you can squeeze

it that way? You can do. What you didn't see there, is we then stood

some children on a tray of eggs and we got a whole car on a crane and

we lifted it down onto about 1200 eggs and the eggs took the weight

of the car. Wow. What's the point in eggs taking it that way and not

that way? Because it's the structure that they tend to sit

down on, I guess. I don't, I haven't list -- lifted the chicken

up and analysed it. So chickens always sit with an egg longways?

don't actually know. I always assumed that they sit the other way

round. You know, what I don't know. It must be to do with the shape.

Maybe someone can tweet us or e- mail us in. It's called Incredible

Edibles. Explain the show for us. It's a show to terrify every right-

thinking parent and to get kids to be adventurous with food. We do

some really very scary and shocking things with food. We get kids to

put on a blind fold and we give them a mystery meal. They eat lambs

testicles, duck tongues, dung beetles, all these things and we

take the blind fold off and tell them what they've eaten. There's

this moment of "Oh, no!" But hundreds of kids are watching. We

give them a round of applause and say "You've been so brave. Do you

want to try it again?" Most of them "Yeah, all right." Do they like the

taste, before they know what it is, and they're eating a duck's tongue,

do they like the taste? They generally love it. The weird one is

brains. Eating the brains and going oh, it's really creamy. It's lovely.

And creamy and soft and lovely is often a fantastic thing. The moment

they know it's a brain they go "I'm going to be sick!" Then they

confront their fears and get through it and it's exciting.

become completely warped with our way of looking at food. We'll

gladly eat something's leg but not their tongue or cheek. It's

ridiculous F you're going to eat it, I think it's interesting that we've

started to eating a lot of offal. We do it on the show. What's wrong

with eating every part of the animal if we're going to do it?

think kids learn the fear from parents. You know the reality is

loads of kids say my kids don't eat anything. Push them. Get them to

cook with you. Make black pudding, cover them in blood, you know, get

squirrel from your local shop. bit of blood! Eat it! Have it!

happening in my kitchen. It's not. You take them through this process,

you make it fun, you make it adventure, you make them bold.

That's very much your way. Since I did this show, like everyone, you

end up eating what you know. Coming on the show I experience more and

more tastes. Now I want to do more. We know each other well. I believe

you may have had my testicles once. Nice! I've ever everything, you go,

try that and I go, yeah! You are particularly brilliant. It's really

annoying. Jellyfish, the lot. I love it. I think kids have become

more used to things like sushi and raw fish. We'll break them down,

come on. My kids will eat that. I don't know if I could persuade them

to eat brains or tongue. I'm not sure. Before we do that, in your

life of food and going all around the world, what is it, it's a

cliche question, what is the strangest things that you've eaten?

There's a good answer to this I think. The strangest thing I've

eaten is margarine, I did a series where we unpicked margarine. And

it's made with extraordinary things, caustic soda, Fuller's earth. They

are then taken out by another process. You create this thing, I

don't know, I lived on margarine. There was a tub of this stuff.

always have it in the house. You think nothing of putting a big

dollop in a cake. My mother told me it tastes better than butter. We

went to granny's house and you had butter and it was like "You're

lying." It was supposed to be good for you. That's right. But it was

cheap. And it sat there for six months. I looked at it every

morning, still there, no fur on it yet. What about animal pargs,

you've eaten strange things. On the show, the kids were eating spleen,

they had lungs. It's extraordinary giving kids an ox heart, about the

size of your head. First Active Drainage Limited -- their first

reaction is oh, what's that, then can I put my hand in it. They

explore these things and they become less scary. The weird thing

s, the thing that scared the kids most of all was a fish. They had

never gutted a fish before. They'd never seen what happened. They cut

it open and they pulled the guts out and they were squealing. Do you

think we just need to get more used to different things? Do you think

we've almost shut out anything that isn't... It's a bit of that, you're

right. It's also that we've made meals into a bit of a battleground.

When my kids were little, I used to say, don't play with your food. I

remember thinking, why have I said that? Every other area of their

life, they play, experiment, they fiddle with things and make a mess

and it doesn't matter, because we clear it up. Why when it comes to

food are we obsessed with the rules, this is a battleground, you'll

finish everything on the plate. I decided well, maybe we should play

with our food. Now I encourage my kids. If they want to wipe their

yoghurt on their face, then that's fine. A lot of people have respect

for their food. That's where that comes from. Not wasting it. A food

fight is terrible. We have to do this. What are we making now?

are making live on TV a bum sandwich. This is actually stilton

and basil sandwich that I made this morning. But what it needs is to be

warmed up to body temperature. Louise, are you trying this one?

You need to slip it under... I keep my Janes on? That's between you --

jeans on? That's between you and the producer. There was an

opportunity there. Television gold. I was just checking because I was

going to say, someone else... don't want to see Tim's pants.

no, I've put a few pounds on! I'm frightened I'm going to squash it.

Bit of a wiggle. There's basil in there and you're getting the oils

to come out and raising it up to body temperature. I don't think

there'll be much left after this bum's been on it. I want to see

cheeks on it. I'm clenching! LAUGHTER

When I sat down in Peter Capaldi's space, it was very warm. I think he

might be the man to do it. We'll have to get him back. What you're

doing is raising the temperature of that sandwich to your body

temperature, which should be, unless you're very ill, 37 degrees.

It's cold. It's come from the fridge. When they come from the

fridge the molecules that make up the flavours are static because

they're very cold. You're warming it up. The more you warm food up

the more the vom tiles zip around. Have a little sniff of this

cheese... Smell my cheese! LAUGHTER

That is a bit of cheese. Does it smell cheesey? It does. That's

because it's at room temperature. To explain that there is a change

that will happen. What we're going to do is come into the middle of

the studio floor and put it there, I'm going to eat that later any way.

We're going to chill it down a bit. The best way to chill food is to do

this. I won't get up. Kids don't do this at home. You need a request to

the head masters -- headmaster before doing it. You need to be

trained idiot like me. We have to OK. Very quickly, have a smell

again? It doesn't smell half as bad. Bad! That's my cheese. That's

because all of those molecules are static. They've been frozen so they

don't move very much. What you are doing is counteracting that and

making all those flavours zip around, probably zipping around

your jeans as we speak. Is that why they say you should bring things to

room temperature first. Yes, especially with cheese. If you pan

fry meat out of the fridge it won't be cooked in the middle and

vegetables. Never put tomatoes in the fridge. It's still cold. That's

your job. For the rest of the day, I'll come back at lunch time.

have to stay here? You can share the burden. We're putting the

sandwich on eBay afterwards! You're a vegetarian. Does that mean lots

of beans last night, just asking. It would be warm then! We're oust

time. What are we doing with that sandwich, eat it later? Am I really

staying on it? You're doing well. We'll talk to you more. You're

cooking with Simon. If you still want to ask Stefan or Peter

anything, tweet @SFTW or e-mail us. I'm looking forward to getting home

and throwing blood on my children. This is the first time I've done a

link sitting on a sandwich. You know, everything new. That's

showbiz. It's a living. You're not digging holes. All this is still to

come: Harriet goes to visit her son for the first time in Prisoners'

Simon cooks red lentils with date and cumin. The search is on to find

the planet's brainiest animal in Super Smart. Sheep dogs are

learning a foreign language. Also still to come. Our gadget girl

today is Lucy Hedges with the best of this week's new things. She has

this compound bow and arrow. She's not getting her elbow back high

enough I believe. You have to get it up by your eye - elbow back

there. Anyway, Peter is with us in the kitchen. How is your cooking?

You any good? I am terrible. I am pretty good at making spaghetti.

That's obviously my Italian heritage. Weren't you involved in

ice cream years ago? My father had an ice cream company and cafe, in

fact, supplied all the ice cream for the film Comfort and Joy.

love that film. That's a film I have seen, Tim. So they

manufactured all the ice cream? The reason I am hesitant is they

used to say it was a secret recipe, but I think they got it from powder

from Slough. They said it was a secret Italian recipe, but I think

it was dodgier than that. OK. What we making? What I call granny's

cake. This is from my mum's portfolio of dishes so you know

it's going to be good. It's not my granny. It's our old next door

neighbour - it was her granny's cake. She gave it to my mum. It's

something used in my family together - sugar, mixed fruit,

candy peel, butter, milk, a bit of bicarbonate of soda, mixed spice,

baking powder and flour. So Peter, first job is simply pop in the

That's a lot. We measure it out. That's why cooking is easy on the

show, then the bicarbonate and the baking powder go in, give it a kick

stir with a wooden spoon. This is classic cake-making. Then we soften

the butter. We do what we call cutting in, so rather than with the

spoon, if you use the knife and start cutting it in basically...

never understand why you do that. You do it with your hands. It's

quite a nice - one of the reasons that you do it as well, coming back

to the old thing about not wanting to overwork flour - if you're not

doing -- if you're doing that you're not stretching the gluten in

the flour. If you work the flour too much, it tightens, then when

you make your cake, it will be quite heavy. If we do it this way,

we're barely disturbing the flour. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does.

So once we have done that... That might be some time... Keep going.

We have tonnes of time. Yeah, OK. What next? Beautifully done. OK. So

next thing - tip in the fruit. What you do is keep working that until

that's all combined. Tip the fruit in, then go back to your wooden

spoon and stir it around. called that candy... Candy peel.

You know those things you get in hot cross buns? Yeah. You get that

candied... Mince pie sort of thing. A bit of sugar on it so it makes it

sweet. I am going to ask you some questions. Suzy says, "You write,

direct and act. What is your favourite?" How do you separate

your time between doing those three things? My favourite is acting

because it's the most fun. You get given cups of tea. Everyone looks

after you. You don't have to work terribly hard. I like directing

when it's my stuff, the stuff I have come up with because you get

to see little jokes you have come up with - suddenly you have a whole

team of people at work making them much funnier than they could ever

be than when they come out of my mouth. You just do your best. I am

very lucky at the moment that I have a lot of work around, and I

just get on with it because it can disappear very quickly. Have you

always written? No, I don't really right much. I don't consider myself

a writer. I only do it occasionally because I have an idea I want to

see happen and nobody else will do it, though with the show tonight, I

work with Tony Roach, one of the writers from In the Thick of It.

That is brilliant because I would write an idea, send it off to him,

and it would come back funny. you come up with an idea and say

you're going to write it and you don't, like, write it - you think,

that's a really good idea - then when it comes to the blank piece of

paper, you think, I don't want to do this. You just have to have

discipline. Sit down - do anything. Put words up there. Eventually

something will come. It's really dreary and dull, but at the end of

it, you get make a telly programme - it's worth it. Is that on a

different level? That looks exhausting! Now tip the milk in. On

a different level, I am writing a book at the moment... A novel?

Another novel. Then knowing I have got to deliver this book in a

couple of months' time. I know the recipes - but the thought of

sitting there - I think I don't want to do it. I didn't know it was

going to be this much hard work. The confidence of when you have

written something whether it's funny or not - that must be hard.

don't know if it's funny. We'll see what the audience thinks of it. I

am not that much of a writer. I don't want to go on about it that

much. I am a great believer in having a go and seeing what happens.

As soon as people know, they think, oh, you're a writer or director - I

am just a creative art school person that has a go at stuff.

Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. This is working. Do I have

to do that? Jeez! You can either use a spoon or spatla. Are you on

stage tonight? No, Sunday is our day off. Great. Just what you want

to be doing on your day off - making a cake. We have Christmas

Day off and New Year's Day off, but otherwise - I am amazed at the

number of people who go to the theatre on Christmas eve, New

Year's Eve and Boxing Day, but it's packed. There has been a massive

resurgence in the theatre. There are a lot of comedies around at the

moment. I think perhaps because of the economic climate or whatever,

people just want to go and have a laugh. That's certainly what we do.

Even ten years ago, it was the domain of kind of the broadsheets,

and it was very exclusive. Now it seems it's far more excessable.

think it's good that there is this elitist idea about it. It's

actually fun and well worth it. It is expensive sometimes, but our

show isn't particularly. It's well worth making the investment!

this then goes in at about 150 degrees for about an hour-and-a-

half. It's a slow cook this one, two hours - no eggs in this. It's

an interesting cake because there are no eggs in it, but the flavour

is lovely. It's a cup of teacake. Why are there no eggs? It's the

principle of it. There are quite a few cakes that have no eggs in it.

It's a drier cake but it lasts a bit longer. It will hold up quite

well. Out this comes, and what you get... Have we not found out which

way chickens sit on eggs? Has anyone e-mailed in? I wonder if

they're always laid vertically, so as they lay, theoretically, they'll

land end on, so they don't break. How can we know so little? Peter,

any thoughts on chickens? No, I don't know a thing about them.

beautiful, delicious slabs of granny's cake like that, which is

great with jam and butter and cream and like this where it's slightly

warm, and it is an absolute joy. If you're going to make one recipe

from the show today it's got to be this because it's out of my mum's

portfolio. Dig in, ladies. You just can't beat it, can you? It's nice

and warm. We have sat on this for awhile! Quite! Wow. Look at that

excuse the fingers. I like it when it's crispy like that not flat.

That with a cup of tea or coffee on a cold afternoon, watching a black

and white film... In front of a match. A black and white film!

Crying. Then I'll eat more. A great saint trinian's movie! We're doing

a dahl with dates and tamarind. it's freezing out there, Wayne has

cocktails to warm us up, but first, another chance to guess what year

all of this happened in Deja View. # She's so fine, fine, fine

# She's so fine # She's so fine! # Just after

11.00am, the Defence Secretary Michael Hessle tine gathered up his

papers at Number Ten Downing Street and told his colleagues, "I shall

have to leave". He had resigned. Common market Environment Ministers

have reacted swiftly to the disastrous pollution of the River

Rhine earlier this month after poisonous chemicals from a Swiss

warehouse were washed into the Rhine by mistake. Hampton Court

Palace has been damaged by fire. The blaze caused extensive damage

to the property and to the priceless treasures housed there.

# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh # Dee, dee, the girl is fine

# Well, have you ever seen a girl # # You're trying hard not to show it

# Baby # But baby, believe me I know it

# You've lost that love-in' feeling # Whoa, that love-in' feeling

# You've lost that love-in' feeling # Now, it's gone, gone, gone

# Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! # Sit down. Petite. What was the year? I have

gone '88. Simon has gone '87. for me. I am still eating cake.

Sorry. I am going to go '85. Really? Or '84 maybe? '84?

early? I don't know. I went '88. can remember being very young when

that film was out. So was I! Hang on. '85. We'll find out at the

end of the show. Wayne, what we making? We're going to do a couple

of nice winter warmers. One is going to be a hot drink. Do you

have any cocktails afterwards, like warm with alcohol? No. We do here!

No? Still have beer. The aperske is great. I have that warm wine. Grog?

I don't know. We're going to add this Italian herbal liqueur which

is warming, has a warm spice... It's difficult to get warm

cocktails in winter. They're not on the menu very much. Irish coffees -

that's about it. This one is called Snowbound. Made it myself. It's a

nice spicy, aromatic liqueur with coffee and cream. It looks a little

bit like a latte. I am going to add some cinnamon syrup to this cream.

This adds sweetness and also a little bit of cinnamon. I am going

to whip this up so it's thick. You have your vanilla vodka, the

galiano herbal liqueur, sugar and coffee. Do you have to be a coffee

fan to enjoy this or... I wouldn't say so. I think this is a nice

combination of the two things together because I am not a big

coffee lover, but I do like coffee cocktails when they're like this.

Going to put this bit on top. you like coffee? Sometimes. I am

not a big coffee drinker, not really. Then nutmeg. You have that

cinnamon cream, the sweetness and the spiciness - a really, delicate,

beautiful, soft, subtle combination, but very warming for a cold

winter's day or if you're skiing. can appreciate it, but it's a very

coffee alcohol, which is what it is, obviously. If you're on the cold

slopes after skiing... That's delicious. Do you drink a lot of

coffee? Yeah, too much. There you go - a double whamny. This is a

twist on an old classic. This is a Harvard, a cognac Manhattan. A lot

of the old cocktails are named after the old colleges. The New

Orleans has aniseed and pepperiness to it, nice, subtle. Give it a

little stir. Take a little cocktail glass. I have some chartreuse from

France here, aromatic. It is made from 130 different herbs, roots and

spices, give it a little rinse. I am going to have a rinse there. If

you smell that glass, it's got a really warm - spices, herbs, really

medicinal... Very. That's strong just smelling it - Whoa! Almost

55%? This one is 55%, chartreuse. We have a cognac cocktail poured

over the Harvard and a zest of lemon to give it a little perfume

on top. Then you have a lovely fireplace cocktail, very warming if

it's very cold. It's going to put a glow in your cheeks, but it's what

you want at the end of an evening. That is lovely. The aromatic

flavours, the spice... So nice! That is a real winner for me.

Gorgeous. Thanks, Wayne. You can get all of his recipes by logging

on to the website, bbc.co.uk/somethingfortheweekend.

This time, it's hath Harriot's first time, and she doesn't know

Step through and wait there. Arms up. Sorry. Step through, please.

Sorry. Turn around. This is Pip. He's going to vai quick sniff.

-- have a quick sniff. He must smell my basil.

You can see the second part of Prisoners' Wives on Tuesday, 9pm on

BBC One and BBC One HD. Our gadget expert Lucy Hedge sz here. How are

you? Good thank you. It's gadget roulette time. We have three

gadgets. I reckon that one will work. I'm concerned about one of

them this morning. Let's move on. First up, the gear four unity

remote. This is a discreet remote to turn your iPod, i touch, iPhone

into a universal remote. You download it, pair the devices by

Bluetooth. Then you're presented with a selection of gadgets. The

app has hundreds of codes for devices. Once you have found the

number for your TV or Blu-ray player for example, you pair them

up and you can control your devices. We have paired it up with a Blu-ray

player and a fan. If I hit play on the Blu-ray player, there we go -

yes! We paired it up. From the comfort of your iPad, you're on the

sofa, you can control your home cinema, DVD, Blu-ray, easy to use

add on. Didn't you tell us a couple of weeks ago that we were all going

to be talking to our TVs. Yes, that's where we're moving. Voice

controlled remoats and TVs. Eventually, the bog standard remote

will be obsolete. But the thing about GEAR4 UnityRemote, they're

utilising tablets and things we use every day in the realm of remoats.

It's not so obsolete when you're using an app for the iPhone.

Problem with all these they get loads of gadgets and then they only

have a limited shelf life. Yeah, yeah. There's always going to be

something else. There will be a sexier model later I'm sure.

much is that? This is �80. The application is free. OK this is a

supered up pair of binoculars the Sony DEV-5. They are cool looking

and they shoot full HD video and 3- D individual yo. They're the

world's first digital binoculars to do so. We have 3-D now. Because

you're looking at the video through new channels, you get the 3-D

effect without needing glasses. The people at home can't see that, of

course. You can see it's nice and crisp, clear. Can you zoom in, if

you want in 2D. Shoot from one centimetre. We have autofocus. Sony

have chucked in the image stabilisation system to ward off

shaky hands. These are absolutely amazing to look through, they

really are stunning. They're very expensive. How much? �2,000. The

technology inside it, great for avid bird watchers, stalkers maybe,

wildlife fans. Yeah for peaking on the neighbours. I like that.

think this is your fave. Grab that. This makes me feel weird. To the

the pet Ron compound bow. We're not going to shoot it in the studio for

health and safety reasons. I'm in the allowed to put the arrows in.

We have VT to show it in action. We can see how you use it. Unlike a

traditional bow, it will work now. Unlike a traditional bow, this uses

a pully system. It reduces the amount of effort needed to hold the

string at full draw. Poor style there Emma. Woopz. He hasn't broken

You can adjust the draw length, draw weight depending on what you

need. This comes in three models, youth, light adult and adult. This

is light adult because it's for beginners. How much? �60. Brilliant.

Thanks a lot Lucy. For more information on today's gadgets, e-

mail us via our website and we'll get back to you.

Liz scours the globe in search of the world's most intelligent

creatures. Man's best friend might be the one. This is sn super Smart

animals. When you combine two champion sheep dogs and a touch of

creative genius, anything's There's just one thing missing, add

a little bit of food and viola. How does this demonstrate intelligence?

When you think about it, sheepdogs are essentially learning a foreign

language. Come by to the left in verbal and transferred to a whistle

would be... (he whistles) the command to the right would be...

Stop would be. And walk on... whistle allows the basics to become

surprisingly complex. If I wanted the dog to go left and a small left

it's like, erm, that. If I wanted him further and whatever, like, I'd

have to emphasise it. That would be a lot longer and harder.

The ability to decode this language allows sheepdogs to understand the

exact direction, speed and level of urgency required by their two-

legged friend. That will do! Which enables one man and his dog to work

You can see the first show of the new series of Super Smart animals

Wednesday, 8pm on BBC One and BBC One HD.

Hello? Oh,... Actually it's me! We're just chatting about cake

earlier. We have Stefan in the kitchen with us, who I'm assuming

is a good cook. I'm here for you baby. Give me some tasks I'm. There

I'm pretty good. Nifty in the kitchen? I'll chop anything you

want super fast. I bet you have unique ways of cooking after

sitting on a sandwich. You can cook in a dish washer. Salmon in a dish

washer, wrap salmon in foil, stick it on the top shelf. You can cook

kebabs in a car engine. Ask the mechanic first where it should go...

I'm drifting. Have you found with all the stuff that you've done, you

do think now, right what I would traditionally cook, how else can I

do it? I'm always trying to find something different, or something

to do with the ingredients. I did think I could probably blow up a

house with the ingredients of every kitchen. I could find stuff in here

to blow this entire place up. I know that now. That's dangerous

knowledge. I do my best to contain that. Lou's the same but

inadvertantly. We're making a dahl. We have pomgranity, mint, tamarind

paste, ginger, garlic, red lentils and medjool dates. Toast off the

cumin seeds to release the oils. cumin seeds to release the oils.

Meanwhile, If you could dice the onion for me. Then chop of the

garlic and bit of chop of ginger. Do you cook at home a lot? Yeah.

Last night I found a bit of old beef at the back of my freezer. We

chopped that up. Wagy beef is like kobi, it's like the finest BBC on

the planet. I cooked that up with a nice salad and lots of cheese

really. Very nice. Also, you start doing your Food Factory job in a

while. That's right, yeah. Simon and Tim appeared in my new series,

which comes out around March some time, which - you want that chopped

as well, don't you? It used to be called Jimmy's Food Factory. But

somebody decided to pay more money, so now it's more exciting with us

doing the programme. It's good fun. You came along and I don't know if

we can reveal this properly. Maybe we should keep it quiet. We made

sugar, from scratch. Brilliant day. A really good day. Really long day.

Did you know how to make sugar before? That's all part of it

really. It's a very interesting day. It's worth a watch. Really good fun.

You're brilliant on it. I'm not saying that. Oh, sweet. We toasted

the cumin seeds. I never get asked to go on anything to make anything.

I am starting to notice weekly Tim and Simon tell me about their

week's experience of appearing on food shows. I have never been on a

food show. Next time, we'll do it together. This is a food show.

onion, cook that. The cumin seeds go in there. The lovely thing, have

a whiff of that. Now we've toasted those, big smell. That's massive.

That's beautiful. That can go in here as well. The onion we can cook.

We cook it slowly. We're going to cook it faster than the speed of

light. We're at that lovely point Lou where... Do you want that?

please. We have the danger of falling off air at the moment.

was getting that vibe. Come on. That's always nice. In go the bay

leaves, then the red lentils and we give those a stir around. Len we

have warm stock. Meanwhile these dates, my favourite dates, they are

the king of dates, I want strips of those if you wouldn't mind, Sir. A

bit of a go on that one. Do you need me to help? You can eat a date,

do you like medjool? Yeah. I picked dates in California. Have you ever

done that? Brilliant. They have camels. They France port them on

camels. Brilliant. Tamarind goes in. Now there's acidity going on in

there. Then we tip in bit of our stock. They are lovely. Bring it up

to the boil. Cook that out. Our onions aren't cook, they're

floating to the surface. You want them to be nice and soft. That

cumin is going to make me sneeze. Bless you. Bless me. Bless you. The

final thing we do is a bit of mint here. You have got the delicious

dates. Yeah. I now have our mint. This is fresh now. The lentils come

up quite a heavy, deep flavour. What we want is some freshness now,

that whole kind of balance thing going on. Rather than just like

this, this is what we end up with... How long do the lentils take?

20 minutes. They will just break down. Once we get to that point,

that's brilliant, all those dates can go into our delicious dahl.

one at the end there? Yes, please. Nice. That's good. Do you think as

well with your fantastic show with the kids that because they learn

about different things with flavour that it makes them more adventurous,

once they leave? I think they experiment with these things.

They're not really allowed to normally. They don't get to play,

to fiddle and to touch food as much as you'd expect. It's really

interesting. A quick e-mail from Sophie, "Is there anything you

wouldn't eat?" I avoid meat that's been raised badly. I did a

documentary about the dock meat industry in South Korea. The only

reason I wouldn't eat the dog meat is because it was raised in an

awful way. The regulations covering it are shot to pieces. Do you think

they'll do anything about that? It's a tough one. They've made it

really complex. Basically world scorn was poured onto South Korea

for eating dog meat. They removed regulations covering the industry.

They didn't stop people raising dog meat, they removed the regulations

to be seen not to be encouraging it. That basically ruined the life for

millions of dogs every year. agree with you. Here we go, the

delicious dates here then also the fresh mint that gives it a lift.

Sprinkled with the jewels of pomegranate seeds. Then watercress

on top. That is simple, served with a flat bread, a delicious thing.

Simon finishing, and it's over to Tim.

The year when Hampton Court Palace court fire, Michael Heseltine quit

the Government, the river Rhine turned red, Tom Cruise starred in

The plane 8 of - -- 1986 - did you get that? Here is a question, "Do

you ever break down laughing during your foul-mouthed rants on In the

Thick of It?" No, never, because they're serious things, and my

character isn't having a great time. He's challenged by people and

trying to get his point across. You play it as straight as you can, so

it doesn't make us laugh. One said, "Is there anything crazy you

haven't eaten? You know what I would like to ask you, what is your

favourite food? You have ten seconds to tell me. Grilled meat -

something in - something that's new. I like trying something new. I like

every male to have something different to it. I don't want to be

cheesy, but this is a beautiful combination. I think next week

we're eating squirrel. That is it for from us today. Don't