22/01/2012 Something for the Weekend

Good morning! Joining us today, music legend and actor, Chris Isaac,

there he is in the green room. Plus stand-up comic Ardal O'Hanlon, also

known tpwr Father Ted. Welcome to something for the

weekend and welcome back to Louise. By the way, we were just having an

argument about what sort of men...This Is a second before we're

live on air. What sort of men women like on that show ask take me out.

They don't go for the cute ones. In reality they want the cute one,

don't new? I don't know. I'm revealing nothing, girls, you're

fine. Is that because they're on telly. No, everyone's got different

tastes. Thankfuly. Where have you been? On holiday? To Cape Town in

South Africa. What was that like? It was lvly. Just great, it was

lovely, the kids had a fab time. We saw penguins on the beach. Penguins

on the beach? Yes. And whales in the sea. It was a really lovely

trip with the kids for a week. were the sealions right up into the

harbour. That's what's so nice about going there, it's quite an

activity-type holiday. So we could take the kids out and do loads of

things. Fab time. Do you cycle? do that. Two days. I'm doing the

cycle ride from Belgium to London and my bum -- I'm not, - I'm not

comfortable! How many miles did you do yesterday. It doesn't sound a

lot, but yesterday I did...Don't Tell me, about two! No, it was

about 20. That's good, but you've got to do 200. There was one point

when I was going uphill and there was a slight head wind, and I

wasn't moving. All your Jeans will get tighter every week as you come

in. We've got a new invention here. Is it one of yours? No, someone

else invented this. It's called a cookie catcher. I love this.

don't really dunk biscuits but you put your cookie catcher in there.

Can I say, this was invented for my household. Really? Yes, my youngest

son loves biscuits dipped in tea to the point where you make a cup of

tea and get to the bottom and it's gross. I don't like sweetness in my

tea. And there you go, look at that! Is this going to put you off

drinking your tea with that in there. You're not putting yours in

because you want to keep it. I am taking this home. Can I really?

You're catching all the bits. Extensive research says that the

Rich Tea are the ones that break up first, according to the girls in

the office. The king really is a hob-nob. That there go in like an S

S warrior. And if you don't want to waste any you can great spoon and

finish it off. They're �2, by the way. This is the first time a

gadget has ever worked. This is great. Coming up, Chris Isaac has

just flown in to tell us about his latest album. # You rattle my brain

# Too much love # You broke my world

# What a thrill # Goodness gracious great balls of

fire # We'll be talking to him about

recording in Memphis. And Ardal O'Hanlon will be here to talk to us.

Yes, if you have a question for him, do e-mail or tweet. This is for

Chris, "How much of a nightmare TVs to film with Helsinkienia

Christianson? Did it put you off that she was naked? Poor lad!

does Ardal oHan less than feel type cast with Robbie the Reindeer?

We'll ask him later. Today we're starting off with spring rolls and

crispy mushrooms. It is the clinies New Year. -- Chinese New Year.

And then braised pork cheeks with butter beans. North heaven. A

really long, slow cook with butter beans in there, the flavour is

delicious. And the dessert is rapsry and coconut squares. Do you

remember these as kids? It was called coconut ice, but this is a

slightly upmarket version of it. posher version, like yourself.

Exactly! And finally, jerk snapper with rice and peas. It's really

straight forward. It doesn't have to be snapper, the fish, but you

can make it today. And here's what's on the rest of the show

today. Establish tan Faulks's epic love

story makes it on to the screen in Birdsong. And did you...stop

yourself? Miranda Hart swaps her joke shop for medicine in Call The

Midwife. I can't move my arms. a hungry long-legged buzzard hunts

for his supper in Earthflight. Right, Wayne is over there in the

bar area, what do you have today? We have some nice cocktails this

week. Tomorrow is the start of the Chinese New Year, so I have

Oriental drinks. And also Burns Night. A modern take on a whisky

Mach. Did you know one in five of the population of the world are

Chinese. So there's us three, Wayne and Lucy Hedges, I regular it's

Wayne who is the Chinese one, don't you think? I reckon. What do you

think, Wayne. The festival begins today, I think. Oh, no.... I'm not

going to read that bit. Do you not believe that bit. It's too

confusing. The festival begins on the first day of the first month

and ends on the 15th day. Before the festival Chinese people spring

clean their houses to sweep away bad luck. And it is a chance to

forget all grudges and wish peace and happiness for everyone. That's

a good idea. A really good idea. UpupSo, a simple dipping sauce with

UpupSo, a simple dipping sauce with spring rolls. So, there is spring

roll pastry under here and we have spring onion, carrot, garlic, bean

sprouts, ginger, apple. Apple? just for something different.

Lou, what would you like to chop? don't mind, what would you like me

to chop? Apple. We want to come round the outside, like that. So we

get rid of the core without having to mess around and simply cut it

into nice thin slices. I heard a great expression this week about

cycling, Tim. Yes. Oh, I'm now a sicklist am I! Yeah. I'm not.

Apparently you've now become a Mamil. Why? Which is a middle-aged

man in Lycra. Tell me you're not going to wear one of them outfits!

Yes, I am, Louise. And it's bloomin hot! What colour is it? Black. I

actually went for some flourescent stuff because I didn't want to get

run over. But I don't know how cool it is. Just wear black with a light

on the back of the bicycle. When you fall off you have to accept

that you're going to fall. Yes, when you fall off you have to keep

your hands on the Handels. Why do you fall off? You can ride. Yes,

but maybe you hit ice or gravel and you're going fast. Have you got one

of those helmets that goes out the back and do you go down low? I've

only been going two days. You have to keep your hands on the Handel

bars because if you put your hands out when you fall you break your

wrists and arm et cetera. We're into scootering. I run beside the

kids calling out "stop." Are you still running? A lit bit. I'm doing

a bit of pilates? That's just breathing, isn't it? No, no, just

breathing, are you kidding me! are you finding that your core has

improved? Yes, tremendously! No, not yet. So, chop up the spring

onions, Tim. This is a stir fry about bit for the middle. So, a

nice hot pan. Two apples. I'm just going through the motions to make

you both feel useful. Thanks for that. Chop the spring onions.

It doesn't matter. This is for the filling, so you don't want anything

too thick or it will pierce the spring onion pastry. So a hot pan,

toss it around and chuck in the vegies. And as we all know with

stir fry, keep moving it around, that's the key to it. And the

chilli which gives it zing. Everybody likes spring rolls. You

always think they're bad for you, but when you think of what goes in

the middle? It's the fact that they're deep fried so it's never

going to be the healthiest thing. You could keep all this raw and

they'd still be nice. You just buy the sauce? A good soy sauce? Nigh

yes, and I have a thicker one. And does it say that? Sorry to ask

questions. I like it that you ask questions. Do you buy a thick one.

You can buy a thick one, you absolutely can. Or you can use a

thin one. Whatever you want. But it says it on the bottle? Yes. I know

that's a stupid question. Do the soy sauces come in different

qualities, then? Yes, they do. they? That's why I was asking.

some have the consistency and flavour of salty sump oil, but a

delicious one. And things like that are hard to find and know because

you buy one and if it's wrong you waste it. Like with anything, if

you go to an expert then they'll give you an opinion as to why they

think it's good. So, a spoonful of this on the bottom edge. Not too

big and then it's a really tight tuck in like that. It smells lovely.

Roll it once and bring in the edges. And as we're coming up put some

water on it to hold it together. Water before you roll it up.

I'll just unwind a bit. then...How's About that? Beautiful.

You can do another one, we need three. Straight in. Either of you

can do it, as long as you're happy. You can be oyster mushroom monitor.

Oh, great. This is a really nice thing to do. Equal quantities of

Chinese five spice, flour and a little pinch of salt. So give it a

stir around and then what we do with the oyster mushrooms - this is

to give them a meaty texture. And we tear some of them and then deep

fry this as well. So you get a lovey Chinese five spice flavour

and when we fry them - so just toss them in that. The oil is burning.

It's fine. It's going to be good. It's turned off. And these go into

a hot oil. Obviously, in reality, you'd use the same oil that you've

fried the spring rolls in. They're looking good in the deep fryer. How

long should they take? Nigh two to three minutes. This is a pretty

quick meal, isn't it? It looks really healthy until you just stuck

it in there. Yes, look at that! Beautiful. So the mushrooms don't

take long, the rolls don't take long. We just want them to crispen

up. And the plum sauce and the Hoi sin sauce mix them together. Say it

again? Plum sauce and...? Chilli sauce. Then I'll cut one in half to

have a nibble. And then our mushrooms, drain those off...this

is dead simple and it's a really, really....I Want the blue ones.

right, I've gone purple. I think there's very little danger of us

talking too much football after the results yesterday! It's going to be

really hot. But the mushrooms, Chinese five spice, flour and salt

and deep fry them, and that brings out the meaty texture. And then the

veggie spring roll. That's glaucous. What have we got for the main

choice? Pork cheeks. That's slightly worrying. You can follow

all the recipies on the website. a book it sold millions and now

Sebastian Faulks' epic love story has made it to the screen. This is

has made it to the screen. This is Birdsong.

Do you sing? Very badly. Pity, I have a fondness for the patriotic

song. Will you be staying with us long? A month or so. We are here to

see how the machines work. How old are you? 20, how old are you?

Remember, we are speaking in English tonight. Madam, did I see

you today walking a long? I might have been. I passed a beautiful

house. There was someone playing the piano, I couldn't recognise the

melody, but I just stood in the garden trying to stop myself from

walking right inside. And did you? Stop yourself? It was one of those

sentimental songs that I like. cannot bear them, musicians today

are just interested in songs they can sell on the street corner. Give

me a great composer. Forgive me. Perhaps you can take my place at

cards? And I had another little song I was so looking forward to

singing. Another time. And you can see the first part this

evening at 9pm on BBC One and BBC One HD. Our first guest today

rocketed to fame in 1990 with his single wicked games in David

Lynch's film wild at hart and things then he hasn't stopped with

hits like this. # You did a bad, bad thing

# Baby, a bad, bad thing # I never dreamed that I'd know

somebody like you # No, I don't want to fall in love

# Chris isaak. And as one of our viewers said, how much of a problem

was it filming that? We shot it in Hawaii and people thought we had a

special effect behind us with the smoke, but it was a volcanic smoke

going out over the ocean. And we were standing on a thin, glass

cover, and we went back the next day and the whole thing was gone.

We were idiots, like so much of my career! And HerbWrits made the

film? Herb has passed away. He's a photographer. He could make a shoe

look sexy. And when they finished the video they gave me the first

copy and asked what I thought. And I said I like it but I don't know

if they're going to play it and he said, "Why not?" and I said I

didn't think it was sexy and I said the more you cut me out and put

Helena in, the more I'll like the video. And up until then you'd had

a little success? Blue Hotel was big in France and I hadn't really,

I didn't know we were successful until I went to France and I walked

outside the place we were playing and I thought everybody was waiting

for a bus or something and they were waiting for us, because we

weren't used to crowds for us. did David Lynch find the song to

put in the film? I don't know how he found it, but I'm so glad. I'll

always be friends with David, I don't care if his car runs out of

gas, I'll go across town to push it! But he was looking for a song

and I said people like this song live, give us some money and we'll

make a video. And we said but the record has been out for a year,

it's too late. But David Lynch put up the money. Because it sold

millions of copies around the world. And when you got the feedback did

you go to all the different places and different countries? Was it

full on? The weird thing about having success is you never, there

never is, like, here's the point where you go "this is successful,"

you know, we went from playing clubs to bigger clubs to, you know,

stadiums, whatever happens you're not really aware that you're being

successful, you're just going "OK, what's next?" you're just moving.

There was a chance that they were thinking about dropping you the

next record. I don't think they were thinking of dropping me,

because ever record I did sold more. So you were going in the right

direction. I was going up, not down. It's been slow but steady. And you

had critical acclaim on your first two albums. So let's talk about

this album. You've done an album of covers from your heroes. Explain

what it is. This record, I went to Memphis Tennessee, and Johnny Cash,

Carl Perkins, Roy Orbison, Jerry Lee Lewis, all of those artists

recorded for a guy called Sam Phillips in a tiny little recording

studio called sun studio. And that studio is still there. They ever

tore it down and put up a shopping centre, by some miracle. And we

went back to Memphis and recorded in that little studio and recorded

like they did back then - everybody at one time, no tricks, and we made

a record of all the music I just grew up loving. This is the music

you love, this is your muscle? I'm nuts about it. When I grew up

my dad had a record collection and it was, like, nowadays everybody

has millions of records. They have on their phone more records than we

had. But he had a little box of records and it was mostly those

artists. And when I finished this record - my dad's pretty old now -

and I took the first rough mix to my parents and played it. My dad

looks to my mum and said something. He never says much and I asked her

what he said and she said, "Dad said that's the way I would have

sung it" so I was pleased. And are there some songs on the album that

you've written? There are a couple, but not enough to spoil the party.

Because I love those songs but I had a couple I put in there. I also

made a copy of this for Scottie Moore, who was Elvis's first guitar

player, still living out there. And I sent him a copy and he was very

nice and said, "I love the record, who wrote Live It Up?" he

immediately knew he didn't know it before. We have a clip of you in

the sun studio. # I forgot to remember

# To forget. This is a record starting with all

the Sun sessions from the '50s. I've got a lot of great songs on

there and I'm really proud of it. It's the only album I've ever made

that my band listens to on the tour bus! # Too much in love

# I'm a guy insane # You broke my world

# What a thrill # Goodness, gracious great balls of

fire # And the studio was tiny? It's a

tiny room. Here's an example, I go in there and set up and started

playing and from me to you, my bass player is standing right there.

There are no headphones, you're just playing in the room. It's

really simple. And my base player says, "Where do you want me to

stand?" and I looked on the floor and there's a hole in the Linoleum

and said, "That's where the spike on the bass goes, you stand there"

and it has a lot of history. And a lot of others lived around there.

Well, Elvis, you think he's the King of rock'n'roll, and you look

at it, and you think, "I'm sure Elton John has a better house."

Have you been there? No. You've got to go. In California they have a

museum and they were going to have an exhibit of rock musician's bits

and pieces and they called me and asked if I would like to put my car

in and they said Elton John is putting his in. And I said "yeah"

and they asked "what car would you like to put in?" and I said, "I've

only got one!" and I said, "How long will it be in there?" and the

guy said, "Is it a problem?" and I said, "I've only got the one car."

And I was thinking Elton John probably just said, "Take the

Masarati." Do e-mail or tweet us questions for Chris, because he is

staying with us for a bit longer. Now, today's dejya Deja View.

In a dramatic and unexpected personal statement the Princess of

Wales has announced she is reducing the extent of her public life and

placed the blame squarely on what she called the overwhelming

attention of the media. Richard Branson has begun legal action over

a dirty tricks campaign by BA. . The world's leading woman tennis

player, Monica Seles has been stabbed with a knife by a spectator

at the tournament. # No, no, limits

# We'll give up the fight # We'll do what we want and do it

right # This smells like burnt rubber. It's

Look at this, my first day as a woman and I'm getting hot flushes!

Diana withdraws from public life, Monica Seles was stabbed and BA

accused of dirty tricks and Mrs Doubt fire. I try and go back a

couple of decades first, so that's '92 and then it was a bit before

that, so.... I thought it was before that. Isle' go '93.

going back a bit '90. I go 20 years and back a bit. I've got that No

Limits in my head now. It will be there all day. No, no, no, no, no,

it took them ages to write that! We've got John Pritchard here, from

Mid Glamorgan. He made the Dukkah lamb cutlets. What do you think his

occupation is? A Tiler? Close. because his ear is out where he

holds the pencil. And what is he? children's entertainer. Close, an

accountant. And this is Sarah and her ant. And they made the dark

chocolate bacon cupcakes. They are...If You guess this, you're a

better man than me. Of course, everyone must know, they're nurses.

No. A good guess. Sarah is a business analyst, and Angharad is a

procurement manager. What do they do? Don't know. And this is what

does Simon look like years ago. Look at you. Tucker boots, they're

good. I like that, is there another one next week? Yes. And for your

chance to be on the fridge of fame, cook one of our recipies and send

them in with a photo or a video. Yes, we'd like to encourage you to

send video clips in. Do them on send video clips in. Do them on

your show and send them in. OK, we're now going to make pig

cheeks. Yes, very excited about this. We were saying before the

show that it is weird because people will say, "Oh, cheeks" but

it's just like eating the arm, it's just another part of the animal.

But off cuts seem to be fashionable now. Yes. Why are they cheap?

supply and demand. There are as many cheeks on the animal as there

are other parts, but because we don't eat them so much they're

cheaper, belly pork now is expensive, because people desire it.

So, flour, the pork, shall lots, white whine, thyme and butter beans.

So, the cheeks, when you're buying them, these are the pillows, as

they're called. This is the chewing bit. Because if you buy a cheek

you'll get the whole bit of the face, what you want is the pillow,

so if you've got a good butcher get him to cut them for you. But

apparently the supermarkets are selling them now. When are we going

to eight hearts? Shall we do that? I have never eighten them. I used

to eat liver a lot. I didn't mind it. Hearts, somehow it's not

exciting. It is because I've never tried them. All right, we'll do

some. What are they like? Rich, slightly gamey. So if you don't

like it you're not going to like it. Is it like kidney? Because I don't

like those. I don't think you'll like it. Great, let's make them!

shake off the excess flour and seal these fellers. Are these tough so

they need a long cook? A long cook, yes. Seal in flour for the starting

point. But it is a good two-and-a- half hours. If you want to chop the

shalllets, you can half-moon them or circle them. What? We're making

a standard casserole now so however you want to do it is...So I'm doing

them too thin? Well, the thing with this is the beans will give the

bulk. You can have lots of variation in

this, cabbage and smoked bacon, but for me, I want the flavour of the

pork today and the pork will just break down. Seal these until

they've got a bit of colour on there. By the way, happy

anniversary last week. Yes, last Monday. 15 years. She is one lucky

lady. 15 years, that's a long time. What did you do to celebrate?

Ali wasn't well, so we did absolutely nothing. What did you

buy her? We decided we wouldn't do presents. No! Simon, where's the

romance in that? It's crystal, Simon, you should have got her

something crystal. Yeah, I know I should. Moving on! 15 years is a

long time. It's good. And the key to 15 years of marriage...Yes,

is it? Get a job where you have to come down to London all the time?

Yes, I think it's space. I'm not always at home and I work long

hours, so when we're together it's good time together. That's my

theory. So, stir it around to get all the little bits of flour and

pork flavour in there. Then add honey for sweetness. And I want to

get it nice a sticky. You can use a little bit of sugar if you haven't

got honey. It's my third anniversary today of Twitter. Can

you believe that, three years of Twitter. I thought it was only a

year or so. But it's such a big part of our lives now. I can't

remember what it was like before. Yes, I do it a lot. Now, all the

honey is going on there, smell that. It's so nice. If you're -- say we

did stir fry for the spring rolls before, if you fancy doing

something interesting with your veg, as you stir fry, add a little bit

of hundredeo because it brings out the flavour. Then a glug of white

whine. What about the leeks? They're in there, you can use

whatever veg you want. Then add stock into there and bring it up to

the boil. When it comes up to the boil add the cheeks back in. So as

the moment these are quite fibrous, they're hard and not very nice to

eat. What we want is to break them down. We want all of the connective

tissue to break down so it becomes really soft and falls apart. So

cover it and simmer it or put it in the oven for two-and-a-half hours.

And we end up with that. Smell that. It's glorious. We can see that the

cheeks are starting to break down. It does smell good. The butter

beans go in. And at this point I would fish the pork cheeks out

again and add a little bit of mustard and cream and I'd boil it

just so you get that little bit of thickening going on. But for now,

we're just going to stir it through. A touch of vinegar which will

excite our taste buds. And then add a little bit of cream to finish. As

I say, fish out the pork cheeks, boil this down a little bit to get

a really, really thick sauce then put the cheeks back in. That is

glorious. And then to serve - and you want it to fall apart. So

you've got big strong flavours. Lovely texture from the pork. You

can see how it's falling apart. And it's a great big bowlful of food.

It's kind of early for pork cheeks. I like the idea. Would you like to

try some of it? Sure. Help yourself. And how long is it cooked for?

and-a-half hours. It falls apart. Oh, man, it really does. From there,

when you're got a tight bit of cheek. It's really tender. Are you

going to have any? No. Can I have yours? Go for it. And dessert?

Coconut and raspberry squares. you can find all of today's

recipies on the website. Keep your e-mail questions for Chris and

arldle coming in or Tweet them. in the second episode of the series

Miranda Hart makes a departure from comedy. This is Call The Midwife.

Camilla? Yes. Come in. I generally answer to chumy, my father used to

say long dogs need short names. I understand you qualified by a

whisker, nurse. I did pass. It was a bit of a scrape. Before that I

was nursing for five years. Come on. Inside. Do you need me to go

through this piece-by-piece? remotely. What's that? It's an

emema nozzle. It's made of glass. Do you break things. And are all

your dresses pink? I do have another. And you can watch that

episode of Call The Midwife tonight at 8pm. Our next guest started out

as a stand-up in his emerald eye before starring in the hit series

We have to lose that sax solo. clip was voted the best moment of

all threes seer ies. The best moment of all time. Since the

evolution of man! Just remind us how ital happened. How did you get

the role? It was out of the blue. I was a stand-up comedian so you

don't expect things like that to happen to you. And I got a call one

day to say they were casting for the series. And I was told about

the series months before but I didn't pay any attention to the

person who told me. Because I didn't trust him, basically! And on

the last day of casting they were about to de camp and he said, "You

didn't come in" and he said hurry up. So I went in and started

reading and two people were laughing and the rest were looking

with big, blank faces. And it just happened. Two months later they

said, "Off egot it, come along" and it was the first time I'd done

anything like that, it was great, you know everything the first time

is great. The first kiss, the first long pair of trousers. But just by

reading the script could you tell it was going to be such a huge hit?

No, the reaction for me was I really liked it and I could see the

possibilities and the potential, but definitely I thought it was

going to be a little cult success at best. You know, three in the

morning and it would disappear after one series. We had no idea it

would become the phenomenon it did. They even have festivals for Father

Ted? Yes, they do. They have them in Ireland as well. I've never been

to one. Really, when you do a show like that you have to leave it

behind. I have really fond memories, but it has to be in the past.

when people come to see you do stand-up, are they exacting to see

the character? No, not really. Now it's been a while. To begin with

they would exact that, yes. But you quickly disabuse them of that

notion and just carry on with your own stuff. To some extent you had

to just put the blinkers on and do your own stuff. And it's nice to do

different things and play different roles and remove yourself from

something you're comfortable doing. That's it. I always work on

something radically different. I'm not naive enough to think that,

like, you know people are going to give me roles as pirates or Bond.

James Bond, perhaps! And your stand-up is so big you even go to

China. Yes, big in China. I'm doing a play at the moment and then I'll

go there. Are you going to do your jokes in Chinese? No, it sounds

better than it is, basically you play to the ex-pat society. There

are loads of people out there. So we play all the industrial cities

and it's a great excuse to go and visit China. And a new play starts

Wednesday. It does start Wednesday, it's called Port Authority and the

best thing about it, from my point of view is it it's very different

because I'm not playing an idiot! It's quite a straight role for me,

which is why I jumped at it when I was asked to do it. I'm playing, I

suppose you might call him a loser. He's alcohol-soaked and he's

unsavoury, he's unkind to his wife and child. And he gets this job and

he's not suited for it. He's patently unqualified for the job

and he goes to America with celebrity accountants and he makes

a show of himself and that's where his story begins. And he's

reflecting on this story a few years after the event and he's

trying to make sense of it all and justify it in some way or at least

get people to understand him. It's a very moving and powerful piece of

theatre and it's great to do. I get shivers up my back bone every time

I read it. Do you enjoy theatre? do. It's an entirely different

experience. When you're a stand-up comic you spend a lot of time on

your own trying to come up with funny stuff. And it's self-obsessed,

stand-up. And there's nothing wrong with that, being self-obsessed! But

it's great to work with other people for a while and forget about

your own thing. And it's called Port Authority, but aren't there

another two stories interlinked? That's right. There are three

distinct storeys and they kind of overlap a little. But they're all

guys at different stages in their lives. It's all about men. And are

you all on stage at the same time and it cuts between the stories?

Yes. Wow, how does that work? works, and you're competing with

the audience for your bit. And there's a lot of humour in it as

well. There are the three stages of men. There's an older guy in a

wheelchair and a middle-aged guy, like me. And all the stories are

about things very familiar to men, you know, like disappointment,

regret and loss and love and not being able to recognise success

when it comes along. Is it a comedy? I wouldn't say that. It's a

drama, but like all good dramas it has a lot of humour but you're not

playing it for laughs, you're playing it for real. And for me,

that's a God send because I'm just used to playing the goofy guy.

from it, big film stphrols Well, you know...-- Rolls? Well, you

know.. Bond! They're shooting the next Bond in bog anyway, because of

cutbacks. So they might want a low- cost Bond! And what next? We're

doing a film shot in a subway. now, it's opening soon are you

tight? It's over rehearsed. And how long does it run for? A month.

that's nice and manageable. So it runs for one month? Yes. And when

are the critics coming in? Probably next Friday. Is that nerve-wracking

or do you just get on with it? not that bad. You believe in it.

When you put so much into something like this, you're totally exited

and believe in it. And you banish all those thoughts from your head

and just go for it. That's the only way of dealing with that. This is

one tweet I suppose you've already answered this, "Do you feel type

cast by your roles?." I feel type cast as a man! You know, when you

do a role like Father Ted, you don't realise that people have it

stuck in their mind. It doesn't stay with me in my day-to-day life,

because I'm at home just doing my own thing. Have you ever been on TV

where they've never talked about it? Never! I thought this might be

the one! Sorry, sorry. So, keep your questions coming in.

All this is still to come. We get a bird's eye view of pigeons

in India in Earthflight. They fall like leaves.

Simon cooks jerk snapper with rice and peas. And celeb guest Jayne

lunch lunch comes in. Now, we also have the best of new

things, including this unbreakable camera which we have pushed to its

limits. And we'll try it out later in the show on gadget roulette,

will it work or won't it work. And Chris is joining us in the kitchen.

How's your cooking? Well, I put in two fridges in my kitchen so that I

can keep all the left overs. don't cook? I live a block from the

sea in San Francisco and I'm surfing all the time. And I eat a

lot of mussels. I get them fresh. Where did you grow up as a child?

There's an area called Stockton. It's always vote ed the worst place

to live in America. Is it? It's not bad if you live there, but it's got

really bad crime and unemployment. You don't imagine that in

California, especially so close to San Francisco. And what did you

grow up on? What did your mum make you? My mum's Italian and she makes

really good ravioli. If you come to California I'll get the recipe,

because somebody's got to learn to make it. She has her grandmother's

recipe for ravioli. I love it all, out of a can, it's all different.

But her's is so good. Get it and But her's is so good. Get it and

sell it! What are we making? twist on a kid's sweet really.

Raspberries, icing sugar, desiccated coconut and mascarpone

cheese. That's the pink layer and the white layer is pretty much the

same, without raspberries. So, Chris, first job, start by mixing

those things together. I can do this. I don't remember this sweet

as a child. It's kind of like almost a harder version of the

inside of a well-known coconut chocolate bar. OK. So it's

compressed. I'm bound to remember it now. It almost feels as if it

has a hard, icing sugar, coconuty...No, I don't remember it.

So, San Francisco. I read that you like a bit of surfing. Is San

Francisco a surfing zone area? it's right in the middle of some of

the biggest waves in the world and we have all the sharks as well.

What are you putting in there? little bit of vanilla!

I have a friend, DocRenecker, he surfs the biggest waves in the

world and when I was just a beginner he dragged me out there

and I was almost killed but he insisted I'd love it. How are you

at surfing, are you any good? How many years have you been

surfing? I came from a farm area so it wasn't until I got older that I

started surfing and I've surfed a lot. So if I was going to be good I

would be good! I think I need a different suit for this! Keep going.

Have you tried surfing, Simon? funny, I've always wanted to do it,

but I have rubbish balance. Really? Absolutely terrible. I can't take

my trousers off without falling over. But when I went to California

with the kids, they both went surfing. My son stood up on his

very first go, ever. Where are you from, Simon? I'm from Liverpool.

Because I've never heard that accent, except the beelgtsz beetle

have? Can you say, "I'm not saying I'm better than Jesus ." No, we

can't say that on a Sunday! Would you like the apron? Yes, that's

better. So, this is the bottom layer. The nice thing about it is,

because it's quite compact it means you can't make a mistake with it.

You can't overwork it. So now we've got to that point. Tip it all in

there. Have you surfed? Yes, I went to surf school once on the coast of

Devon. Who did you go with? Just ten mates. John and Phil...First

the famous surf school? No, it was in England, some bloke who

originally came from Essex or somewhere and bought himself a

campavan and thought he could surf. But there's no point in learning to

surf unless you're near the coast. So, living in London -- we're not

surfing the Thames yet. It will happen. So press it down and work

that. So we end up with this. already tastes good. You can eat it

on its own. So that's layer one. And funnily enough, layer two the

much of the same. But this time add the fresh raspberries. You can do

it also with blueberries. And go to town, Chris, work it fast! Did you

also be a boxer when you were younger? I did. Look at this side

of my nose, all the cartilage is knocked out because I had a lot of

fights and caught it right on the nose. You got hit? I did. And at

some point I thought, "Hey, maybe I ought to be a singer." Were you any

good? I was, I was a light heavyweight. But, man, there's

always somebody better and it only needs one guy better to make it a

miserable sport, I tell you! can't imagine you as a boxer

because you're quite laid back. never had a street fight with

anybody, because they're always right! I don't hassle people, but

in the ring, it was a sport. It was fun. My dad boxed and my dad boxed

in prison and I guess he was really good and he taught all his sons to

box. So we always had a punch bag in the back yard. This is looking

good. Keep it working. So what happens is, all that comes together

in the same way and we lay it on the top and press it down and chill

it overnight. Do layer one and let that stiffen up. It's quite hard

now. Lay that one on top and flatten it off. This is what we end

up with. It is set and nice and hard. And then...turn it out, like

that. So we have this lovely, delicious, solid block of coconut

loveliness. Do you serve it with the beef cheeks? This is one of

those things, with a strong cup of expresso, it would be a treat!

is traditionally something that gypsies would take in their back

pack and take it along the road to eat, only this and a gypsy love

song. I'm making this up. Somewhere, a gypsy just woke up and said,

"That's not true. We don't do that !" This is just an idea, but you

can put these in a zip lock bag and put them in your pocket and go and

see Port Authority, the play, and in the middle of the play start

eating them. And equally, you can start to dip them in chocolate.

can't believe we have Chris Isaak in a pinny! I'm the chef, I'm in

charge. If you don't like my food, get out of the kitchen! Just eat it.

That's awesome. Do you have a restaurant here in town, Simon.

Manchester. Beautiful. I'm going! I'm there. Oh, that's lovely. I

might take some of that home with my cookie catcher. Chinese New Year

and Burns Night-inspired cock tails next, but guess what year all this

happened? # No, no,

# No, no, no # No, no # In a dramatic and

unexpected personal statement, the Princess of Wales has announced she

is reducing the extent of her public life and blamed it squarely

on the overwhelming attention of the media. Richard Branson's

airline, Virgin Atlantic has begun legal action against BA accusing

them of illegally obtaining confidential information about

passengers and flights. Monica Seles has been stabbed with

a knife by a spectator at a tournament in Germany.

# No mountain too high # No, no, no limit

# We'll give up the fight # We do what we want and we do it

# We do what we want and we do it right #

Help is on the way, dear. Doubtfire! Hold on there. One more

time, dear. I'm OK. I'm o Kay! Are you all

right, boss. OK, 27 limited there, Mrs Doubtfire.

What year did I go for in the end? '90? I think that's a bit early. I

reckon we're more....You Said you were touring. We did a few shows.

So it's got to be about '95 or '94. I was thinking '93. Yeah, around

that time definitely. OK, it's the Chinese New Year, isn't it?

starts tomorrow. Yes, the year of the dragon, I believe. I'm a monkey

what are you? I'm a tiger. And what are you, mate? I'm a dawg!

Unfortunately. What's wrong with being a doing? A cute dog. I

remember reading Wayne's and thinking, "He's definitely like

that." Likeable, lovable, honest and...Likes A drink! No, it was all

really nice things, Wayne. So this first one is a drink for the

Chinese New Year? Yes. This is Asian basil. It's really pungent

and aniseedy. It's aniseed meets basil. It is, but when you agitate

it with the ice. What does that mean? When you break up the leaves

a bit. The aroma really comes through. A double measure of gin

going in and more ice. It's based on Martini, so gin and/or yedges

flavours. Lie chee and Mandarin. And finishing with some dry

vermouth. It looks like a lot of booze. It is strong, but very, very

complex because of all the flavours. And the basil comes right at the

end. Do you make loads of cocktails at family functions for everyone?

do tend to do, when I go to my in- laws, my father-in-law likes them.

When I go to my in-laws, my father- in-law says, "Because you're so

good at making cocktails..." and I say,, "No, no, it's not me, it's

Wayne." Where can you get all these ingredients? General supermarkets.

And grapefruit zest and add a grapefruit garnish. So, there an

Orient Martini. Delicate flavours and you can taste the aniseed basil

at the end. Umm that's really nice. Oh, that's lovely. That's really

good. Quite a kick. This one is a twist on a traditional whisky Mac.

I'm using some new ginger liqueur called a Mac Daddy, so a modern

version. And why is this one? Burns Night, which is Wednesday. I

think last night was a big night in Scotland. I'm going up there on

Wednesday. I'm looking forward to that. So this is is a popular drink

for Burns Night? It's a popular drink. A whisky Mac. Lemon peel to

add citrus, and whisky You always think of whisky as being quite a

masculine drink. You rarely see women drinking it. There was a bit

of a comeback, especially in an old Manhattan cocktail. Add Ginger

Spice and the sweetness. Oh, I like that. It's really subtle. Oh, it's

very gingery. But it's not as spicey as you might think. And

orange over the top. And there is a Mac Daddy. It's an old-school drink.

The sweetness with the ginger and a whisky MacIs an old-fashioned drink.

Oh! So are you going to Scotland to celebrate or make drinks? I'm going

to celebrate. That's a proper good morning, everybody! Wow, that's

strong. I thought it was me when I hadn't been here for a couple of

weeks. You can get all the recipies from the website. There are more

pigeons in Britain than any other birds. Some say they are a pest,

but in India they might be suffering. This is Earthflight.

Even in the midst of the city the pigeons can't escape their natural

predators. The buzzard dives at the masses.

The pigeons take evasive action, falling like leaves. A single bird

makes a far easier target. But he drops out of reach. The fort's

defences provide vital bolt holes. But he's not called the long-legged

buzzard for nothing. Although all he gets this time is a

fist full of feathers. You can see the whole of Earthflight at 8pm on

Thursday on BBC One and BBC One HD. Lucy is our gadget's expert this

week. You've just come back from Vegas? I have. You've lost a lot of

money? And sleep. But you were there for a show? Yes, it was the

world's biggest eelectronic show, basically. What did you see? Voice-

cold TV. Gesture-controlled TVs. The world's slimmest laptop.

you didn't see the thing I was interested in. What's that? The 3D

printers that can print products out. It prints things out.

printers are good but when you're in a room full of awesome TVs, it

sits on the back burner, for me, any way. But it can re-print 83% of

itself. So when you want one of these you can...Eventually, But not

right now. Embrace the future! Any way, what have you today? Nikon's

AW100 it's designed to brave the he will managements, so it's

waterproof, shock proof and everything-proof. It can be

submerged in water up to 10m for an hour. Pull it out and take a snap

to show it does work. There we go. It's also freeze proof. We have a

VT to back that up. We've frozen it in a block of ice. It can survive

in temperatures up to minus 10 degrees. So we break it open and

take a snap. I suppose the people who manufacturer cameras, because

so many have them on phones, they have to come up with more and more

gadgets. It has video as well and thousands of pixels. So it's still

better than one on the phone. and GPS to track across the globe.

How much is it? �300, but you could probably pick it up for �240

elsewhere. And you're excited with this? This is the ASUS Transformer

Prime. It's essentially a net book and tablet in one. If I hit this

button here I can remove the tablet from its keyboard block and put it

in my bag, and I don't need the keyboard. But the keyboard comes in

handy if you need to use it. And you can plug it into your TV and

watch a High-Definition movie. But it packs a quad core processor.

That means -- that's probably gone over a lot of people's heads.

you saying we're stupid, Lucy? But this is five times faster than

a tab let. And this is one made together. Yes, you can buy docks.

And how much is that? �500 that's a really good price. And finally? I

like to do a lot of eating whilst on the computer. This is a hand-

held vacuum from Black & Decker called the Orb-it. It's a bit funky.

It's designed to clean up small spillages, crumbs if you're eating

at your desk. There we go. That's 2350. It's not bad. �50, and it has

a transparent window to see when it needs to be emptied. I like that.

How much is it? �50. That's about as much as I can say about it. It's

a hand-held vacuum! That's about as much Hoovering as I like to do in

my life. That's fantastic. Thanks, Lucy. No problems. If you want any

more information e-mail us via the website and we'll get back to you.

Now, here's The Real Hustle Celebrity Chancers. I'm not a guy

to conpeople out of money but that's why I'm here to learn a new

side. My morals don't allow me to cheat anybody out of anything.

I'm going to feel terrible when a drop the bombshell to somebody

about losing something. Shane don't know anything about today's scram.

He's just been told to go to a certain place and keep an eye out

for a sexy scannedler. Hello, Shane. Hello. Highway are you? A bit

scared. We'll take care of you. Have you heard the expression, fool

me once and you'll get away with it, twice, never. So, here's Fool Me

Once. It's a busy town centre at lunchtime and these guys have just

come from a Bureau de Change. And he's now the mark. Excuse me, my

name is Suzy. Can I just ask, did you exchange some money just now.

You did? We're doing an investigation, we need to check

your money for you. So there's some kind of undercover operation being

carried out in the area. I think you're going to be able to help us.

Don't worry, you're not in any trouble. It's a pretty weird

request, but as it comes from a pretty lady, the mark does as he's

asked. And you can see the first show in the new series of The Real

Hustle, Celebrity Chancers later in Hustle, Celebrity Chancers later in

the week. Now, I'm in the kitchen with Ardal. How is your cooking?

I'm not terrible. I have a wife. Don't tell me, she does it all for

you. No, no, she likes to do it, so I sort of keep out of her way, but

I like to do the starters. I like the messing around with stuff.

We're going to do jerk snapper with rice and peas. It doesn't have to

be snapper, sea bass, coley, anything you want at all. Dry

seasoning, you can buy it from the shop or make your own. Buy it from

the shop, because these are the things that throw me. I just want

to buy it ready. Things like spice mixes ox dies, so if you keep it

for a long time the flavour goes. They don't last for ever. What

would you use? Thyme, chilli, all spice and white pepper. It is a

simple spice to make, but if you've got one, don't keep it too long.

And you can get it wet or dry. We've also got coriander. And rice

and peas, kidney beans, coconut milk, water, onion. And the first

job for you, young man, is to chop that. However you fancy. Big or

small I don't mind. Free wheel on it. Whatever works for you. I was

talking to you earlier about your book. I'm always fascinated by

people who can do stand-up, write and act. It doesn't mean I can do

it well. But I've read the reviews. It's called Talk Of the scratch

town. Yes. Any more books coming? There could be, but it's so time

consuming, and I'm still young and viingious! And people are still

interested in doing -- vigorous! And people are still interested in

me doing things. I did it before I had kids when you could work

through the night. I suppose it's something you could do if there was

a quiet moment in stand-up or acting and you can concentrate on

it. Normally I'd be napping! Just a second, I've rolled the jerk

in there and pat off the excess, and put it into a warm pan. Not too

hot. I've written a few cookery books, which are not like novels.

And I think in my head I like wrying, but when I'm doing it, I

hate it. I like it when it's finished but that process of

sitting down and...It's The best thing in the world because what

you're doing is expressing yourself most clearly, when you're on your

own at home. You've got all the time in the world to delete and

change. Like we're standing here and I'm probably saying stuff I

can't believe I'm saying. It's probably not true! We do that every

week! So writing is the ultimate forpbl of expression. And even --

form of expression. And even stand- up, because you spend hours and

hours writing it and it's really personal. And why people love

watching comics do stand-up because they feel they've lived a bit of

the life you're talking about. that's the comics I like best, the

people who create a little bit of the world. They don't have a

philosophy to tell you, that would be stretching it a bit, but they

have a view of the world. They're stretching it, and they're

obviously exexaggerating it. they say things you've thought

before but never dared to say and they're saying it in a funny way.

Now, I'm quite a quiet person off stage but when you're on stage, you

become an exaggeration of yourself. But the pressure is out there. What

do you do if the audience never laugh? It's never happened! Who do

you like? In the distant past it would have been Laurel and Hardy

and Buster Keaton, but in the recent past, I suppose Eddie Izzard.

He wasn't a traditional joke- telling man. I always loved Dave

Allen. In the '70s, when comics were punch lines, but he was

different. He was a storyteller. That's right. More measured and

laid back. More observial. And here is a quick tweet that leads on from

that. Who is the funniest person you have ever worked with? Oh, wow,

that's so hard. I've put you on the spot. It's impossible to say. I

worked with Ross Noble the other night and he's hilarious just to be

in the room with. So at the moment, I'm just thinking ...of the look of

him! I've been working with some really, really funny people and

actors and comics. So, we've cooked one side of the snapper and you can

see we're on a relatively low heat so we're cooking it gently, which

is rare for fish. So fish you cook pretty quick? Generally speaking.

But if you took it too quickly we'd just burn all the spices and waste

the flavour. So we're doing it at a relatively low heat. With the rice,

cook the onion, a bit of thyme in there and the rice and in go the

kidney beans and the coconut milk and water, equal quantities of

coconut milk and water. And simmer it for about 20 minutes until the

rice is cooked and all the flavour from the coconut milk goes into the

rice. And you get the lovely effect of the colour of the kidney beans

colours the rice, to a sort of dirty colour. And the flavour is

fantastic. And then to serve, it's really, really simple. To be honest

with you, rice and peas, if you perfect that, that could be a

staple in your house. With sausages on the top, brilliant. Is it normal

to put coconut milk in rice? There's lots of different ways to

cook rice and peas, for example. A lot of recipies will not put

coconut milk in, or they'll just put it in at the end but I like to

cook it in quite early on, to soak it up. So, sit the snapper on the

top and fresh thyme. It smells top and fresh thyme. It smells

amazing. Over to Tim and Chris. Thank you, the Deja view year was

1993. No, no, there's no limit. Loads of tweets coming in, Chris.

"Is Chris still doing any acting?." I am, I'm doing a walkon part at

the Port Authority play...you don't know about this. No.! Loads of

people have tweeted about you being on Friends. We have the clip.

Oh, that really cute guy is here again. Oh, OK, so, everybody

pretend like I'm telling you a story and it's really funny, so

everyone just laugh, now! I know, I know. Hello. High. I'm Rob. Hi, Rob.

I don't know anything about music but I think you're really, really

great. Oh. Wow! Any way, I schedule performers for the children's

library around the city and I thought have you ever thought about

playing your songs for kids? Oh, I would love to have kids. You mean

me play the songs I write for them. That was huge. I was always busy,

I'm always working so when I did the show, thank God I didn't

realise it was a huge show. And the people couldn't have been nicer. I

really had fun working with the people. But I didn't know it was so

huge. And people asked, "Were you snefrbz" and I asked why, and they

said -- were you nervous?" and I asked why and people said because

it's such a huge show. Now I'm nervous.. And what about working

with David Lynch? He does such weird movies. But you can ask him

to baby-sit, he's OK. But the movies, if it's a real sweet movie,

don't trust those people. And are you touring soon? No, I toured a

lot last year all over the world, Australia, New Zealand. But this

year it's Britain. Glasgow in May and I'm doing a fab taskic gig on