12/06/2011 Something for the Weekend

It's Sunday, 12th June. We have Alex Jones in the studio. There she

is, standing in for Lou. We have rock God, the one and only Alice

cooper is here. We are joined by the two captains fantastic from A

Question of Sport, Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell.

We will look at next week's telly too. This is Something For The

Good morning. Welcome. Quiet over there! Alex is here from the One

Show today, swap from the One show. How does it feel to be here? I was

here as a guest when I have nothing better to do on a Sunday morning.

You do watch the show? I do watch the show. Louise is not here. She

was doing the final of a show, which I can never remember. So you

think you can dance. This is what happened in the final. There was

lots of dancing. The four semi- finalists there.... Finalists.

it got down to, I don't really know. It is either a boy or a girl wins.

They win �50,000. �50,000, and Nigel Lithgoe takes them to

Hollywood to dance for him. There is the guy there, Matt. Where do

they dance? In his house, in his lounge, in his kitchen. I don't

know. Randomly... Dance. You win �50,000. Dance. Dance, little boy,

dance! A big week of stuff for everybody.

What did I do? I played tennis. You did loads, didn't you? I did quite

a lot last week. Trooping the Colour was the bit I liked. Did you

see it on Friday? I did. I love the Forces. How was it hanging out with

them? It was intimidating. I went to a barracks in Surrey, where 100

soldiers, really tall. I came up to their waist. They are seven foot. I

did the routine of Trooping the Colour with them. There were the

bearskins. It is not a bearskin, you tell me? It is fake fur. The

bearskin sound more dramatic, doesn't it? Better than hamster

skin, isn't it? They are lovely and warm. Soldiers or bearskins? Both!.

Do they keep their sandwiches underneath? There is room. There

are two screws either side which hurt. And you stole a bayonet!

didn't steal a bayonet. It happened to land in my bag. I will be

returning it next week. What have you been up to? Not a great deal.

I'm working the forces this week. I am going to Germany to judge and

compete in a cookery competition with the Army, Tuesday, Wednesday

and Thursday. I am very nervous. What are you making? I don't know.

We have a mystery box of ingredients. We have to build an

oven out of ammunition boxes and cook a gourmet meal. They have

challenged me this year to walk the walk rather than just walk the walk.

We have two top sportsmen in the studio. We have Phil and Matt

Dawson. They are united by their dancing on Strictly. It is

opposition as question -- captains on A Question Of Sport. And Alice

Cooper. You interviewed him on the One Show? I have seen him more

often than my dad this week. If you have a question for any of them

send it via our website. What we want to do is get sports

trivia questions in for Matt and Phil. They are about to go on tour

with their show. This one sent in by Brian. How many players have

scored a hat trick in World Cup finals? We should all know the

answer to that one. Should we!? Maybe not you. If you send

questions in, send the answers as well, because we don't know. What

are we cooking? We are starting off with pea gnudi. They are ricotta

dumplings in effect. Mint in there. Tasty, delicious. Main course, a

chicken and apricot tagine. Spicy. Big strong flavours. Flaked almonds

in there. A lustful desert, raspberry freezer cake. We are

making that with Alice, aren't we? It is something a rock God wants to

do. Two fine sports men, what do they want to make? Queesh!

-- quiche. Here is what else we have on the

show today. Lead Balloon has turned into a

shopping channel. No strings, here's a ring.

It is total competition in A Question of Sport.

And the mostor meanted detective on So, all that to come, plus Wayne

Collins. What will you make for us today? I have ingredient inspired

by Indian food. It is something Tim really likes that I will use.

Coriander by chance? Blah-blah - horrible!

We will look at father day present inspiration, including this

computerised golf glove. Matt will be on a horse simulator. What is

be on a horse simulator. What is for starters? We have olive oil, we

have peas we will chop, egg yolks, Parmesan. Ricotta we have drained

had the posh ham. Yes, the ham Hock. I had to rip it in the end. Last

time you were on you waved the knife around like a mad woman. It

was frightening. We have drained the ricotta. Drain

it overnight. If you make these you cannot just open the ricotta and

open it straight away. It is too wet. We need to dry out as much as

we can. Simple job for you to great all of the Parmesan into there.

And the egg in there as well. are going in there?

Whichever way you want to do it. there something amiss here? Yes,

you turn it over! OK. I got it. Lou will be sitting

at home, going "another worse cook in the world!"

This is all about - it's sutdle. I am not sure if you will -- subtle.

I am not sure if you will like this. I think it is too soft. How can you

cut peas without them going all over the floor? Roughly chop and

bring them into the middle. You could put them into a food

processor and give them a quick buzz. You had Jamie Oliver on the

show. Such a nice guy. What was interesting is when you had the

critic and he had been slightly.... What? I thought it was good

television. He had been rude about Jamie's restaurant. I read the

review. He liked the desert. He just thought it was a little bit

overpriced. You know, Jamie really took it well. He took it on the

chin. What was the atmosphere like in the studio? Tense. It was good.

I enjoyed it. It was funny. They never built a statue for a critic,

did they? Gosh, my arm really hurts now. I think I will have to lie

down. For goodness sake, woman. It's all right. I started so I'll

finish. You will have massive muscles by the end of this!. I've

done lines of - what do you call this? It is fine, it will do for us.

What we need to do is beat this together. That will do. That is

fine. Shall I do it with a whisk? Jo r

You can work it. Be -- You can work If you want to come and review my

restaurants, Jay, I love you. We mix all that together. What we

do, we get little balls of this. So, it is about that kind of size.

smells really nice. Roll them around and into the semolina.

ball size? Smaller I would say. What size of ball is that? It is

more like a gob-stopper size. What you do with these is leave

them in here for about an hour. Every five or ten minutes roll them

again in the semolina. What is happening with this, because this

is very moist, the semolina then begins to dry out. Once it starts

to do that, we turn them again and roll them.

I am going squash ball size. How are they not sticking to you?

They are. Back on and give it another roll.

As you do it, the semolina stops them being so sticky. I am not

enjoying this! It is not good cooking. I like shopping. It is

nice to do with your kids. These are the ones we've had sitting....

What's that? That is a piece of Parmesan you didn't great well

enough! -- grate well enough!

All the time, five or ten minutes what, we do is make sure they keep

getting turned around. Then, into simmering water, pop those in.

Put them in for a couple of minutes. What's in this? Cheese, egg yolk,

peas, mint. They are a little dumpling in effect. That is what

they are. Tim, your final job is... You need

to clean your board. Then we will make a simple tomato salad with

this. All I am going to do with the

tomatoes, what we want is cut down the middle and cut that little bit

of tomato out there, it is not nice eating. Again cut down the middle

and you want that size. Two tomatoes. Chuck them in there. Alex,

next job for you. This other grater, we will zest

some lemon into there. Interesting you are not giving me a knife this

time. Don't think I have not noticed! It was one of the things

that was maybe mentioned this morning!

Again you can be tough on that as well. Balsamic vein Niger, cherry

vein Niger -- vein any ga -- vinegar, cherry vinegar.

Because you don't chop, how do we stop the pips going into the bowl?

Squeeze it through your hands. Jamie Oliver did not teach you that

on Friday, did he? No, he didn't. He is a great campaigner. He has

probably got more men in kitchens seriously. And has he massive

passion for what he does. Salt and pepper into there. That is

beautiful! Again, if you have time, when you make this salad, if you

let it sit for about an hour or so, what will happen is that the

vinegar and the salt and the pepper will all come together, so you make

a dressing as well. This will taste nice in this way,

but if you get a chance give it a rest and it will work better. What

we will do to serve this - that bit of mustard cress on to there. A

like this. You will find the texture of weird. Every time I

watch the show, you go, I do not like the texture. I think you will

find it is the least. I love tomatoes salad. -- Louise. It is a

bit baby food for you. I really like bed. For at the main course,

we are going to do chicken tagine. You will love that. All the recipes

can be found on the website. Jack Dee's character has decided to go

into the world of the shopping It is 30 seconds. It is 18 carat

gold. 10 seconds before we up on. Going live. 5, 4, 3... Next up is

this beautiful eternity ring. It is 18 carat gold equivalent. It is the

perfect present for someone you love, or should I say, from someone

you love? That is right. I am sure any girl will be thrilled if you

put this finger in her ring. What I mean is, any go will be thrilled if

you put this ring on her finger. It is such a lovely ring. A ring for

eternity, a ring that says, let's be together for ever. It does not

have to be that serious, does it? More of a short-term thing. I like

you quite a lot. Let's keep it casual, sort of thing. The lines

are open. Give us a ring about the ring. Here is a taster of what is

coming up later on in the show. I think I got us out of that! You can

watch Lead Balloon on Tuesday. He sold over 50 million rapper --

records, has been conducted in the rock and roll Hall of fame, if you

have not heard these tracks, where # you are poison of running through

my veins. I do not want to break He is the godfather of theatrical

rock. Welcome to Alice Cooper. Nice to see you again. How was the gig

last night? It was great. The people were there for the right

reasons. Great bands, lots of energy. Do you still enjoy it?

is lots of fun. An audience like that, it is like pouring gasoline

on the fire. You were at the Kerrang! Boards on Thursday. Are

you going back on tour? We are going from here to Transylvania.

How is that? There we are in Istanbul and back here for nine

days. Then the big tour in October, Hallowe'en. Did you invent the

theatrical stage act? I was looking at a lot of Peter Pans and no

Captain Hook. All of these great and wonderful bounce. I kept going,

where is the bad guy? I was built to be the bad guy. I said, I was

definitely be the bad guy. It is more fun anyway. We have some

stories we would like to get to the bottom off. We will start with this

chicken story. Did you or did you not kill the chicken? No, the

audience kill a chicken. On stage, we used to open up for the pillows.

I looked down and somebody had put a white chicken on the stage. I

went, that is odd, we did not bring it. I thought, it has wings and

feathers, it should fly. I kind of chucked it in the audience,

figuring it would fly. Somebody will get it and they will have a

great souvenir. They taught it to pieces and threw it back on the

stage. By that time had to started developing? We were already

theatrical. It was very easy to believe I killed the chicken. Frank

Zappa phoned and said, did you kill a chicken on stage last night? I

said, no. He said, do not tell anyone, they love it. You have a

box set which has old footage of you before you started doing beat

the magical stuff. It was when you work a band called Alice Cooper. We

# you lick outstanding with your We were very influenced by The Who.

We were also influenced by the Beatles. The grand sweep gravitated

towards where bands like The Who. - - bands we gravitated towards. The

Yardbirds probably made the most interesting records of any body. We

went in that direction. It set us apart. With the theatrics, you can

start adding guillotines, hangings and bearer constrictors. You

suddenly become an enemy of Mary Whitehouse. It was Mary -- it was

wonderful! She tried to stop anything happening, ever. She was

great. She decided the British public could not see Alice Cooper

because we were to devastating. There was no bad language, no

nudity. It was just the attitude of the band being so aggressive. It

was not peace and love. There was a lot of choreographed violence in

the show. That is what bothered them. Your reputation preceded you.

Someone thought you had killed a passenger on a plane. This poor old

lady was 90 years old. She was sweet. We played gin rummy. She had

no idea who Alice Cooper was. Before they serve dinner, she said

she was going to take a little nap. Do not wake me up for dinner. They

came over and I said, she is sleeping. We were landing and I

said, she is sleeping. She died. Did you kill her? No, but if I

thought about it... That would have put the icing on the cake. She just

went to sleep. Another thing was that you nearly shot others Presley.

There was that moment of thinking, he was showing me how to disarm

somebody. It was a loaded 38. I said, this is loaded. He said, OK.

I am standing there and this little angel goes, go ahead, sued him! --

shoot him. I was saying, can I get up now? Some say it was a myth that

Elvis Presley was a black belt? showed me a police report. He was

leaving the Hilton Hotel in 1971. Three guys decided to call him up.

He broke a jaw and a knee. He was the real deal. I have just been

beaten up by others Presley! He was good enough to take care of three

guys. -- Elvis Presley. At that point I went, I never want to be

that big where my prize possession was a police report. You will be

hanging around helping us to cook some pudding today. If you have a

question for him or Phil Tufnell or This is what I look forward to when

I am watching the show's -- the show at home. What year did this

song rockets way to number one in # nothing will ever beat the same

Britain's oldest twins celebrated their birthday today. They said

being 100 was no different. The final section of the M25 was opened

this morning. Challenger sliced more than two hours of the

transatlantic record. Richard Branson and his crew were overjoyed

and celebrations were soon under I cannot believe you are my mother.

I am. The doctor said he had never seen a find a pair of twins. Europe

Work No. 1 for two weeks. What year it is that? 1985? I do not think it

is that late. I do not know. They need to stick some football or

sport in there. We asked for pictures of your pets last week.

Millions upon millions. Caroline Blasiak from Peterborough with her

African Pygmy Hedgehog called Spice, because he is cinnamon coloured.

They made the sticky toffee and ginger cake with rhubarb. Hedgehogs

carry fleas, don't they? I think they probably do. Events are

frightened by mice. -- elephants. Nick Garner from Leicester made the

moussaka stack with the help of his Albert, his housemate's pet bearded

dragon. What do you do with those sort of Peps? How long do they

live? You imagine a long time, don't you? Longer than we do.

they go extinct. This is James Palmer with his pet turkey. She

does not like rhubarb soap it eats strawberries instead. Sintia

Krastina, Sinty for short, lives on a farm in Upminster in Essex. You

have the French bulldog from Amsterdam. We should carry on with

theirs. We want with pets. What a remaking for the main course? --

They give it that bite. You don't like sloppy things. I don't mind

bla manage. Jelly and that is making a big

comeback. Jelly is made with gelatine, and blamange with dairy.

For the tagine, we need onions, tomato. We have curry, coriander

and some ginger. We have dried apricots, mint and parsley, harissa

paste. That chicken breast, cut it in half and half again. Four long

bits? Big chunks. You know me, if you are making a casserole don't go

small bits, it turns into dog food. What is harissa? Chilly, rose water,

other spices in there. Give it a mix around. Why haven't you cut the

other ones up? The flavour will come from the bone. We have left it

like that. Ideally let that sit in the harissa for at least 20 minutes

or so. That will do us. Beautiful! Then we will seal off the chicken.

If you don't have a tagine, which lots of us don't, then you can just

use a pan. It is heavy bottoms to take plenty of heat. What are the

purpose of these pans? What do they do? Because we have a funnel that

sits on top of it, as it cooks, then all of the steam and all of

the flavour stays within the pot. It drips down, so the condensation

gathers here, and drips back down. It keeps it moist. Could you not

just use the lid of the pan? If you don't have one, then that's fine.

We seal this and the smell of the harissa the glorious. That is what

we are looking for, that slightly charred flavour. Move that away.

Simon and me are going to the tennis final today at Queen's. Andy

Murray, who is he playing? We were hoping for an all-British final.

Put them in quarters or slices. is the weather looking? It is not

looking great out there at the moment, is it? It is looking wet

out there. Do you play tennis? I used to when I was younger. I

played a lot until I was 16. Let's play then. I did a tennis

initiative this week to get people playing again. All play tennis dot

com and you can find people to play against. I played Greg Rusedski and

I beat him! You didn't? Not really. I couldn't get off the court. I

loved it. Did you play tennis? in the park with my mates. I'd

never had a lesson before. Through Greg teaching me how to hit the

ball up and a guy called Sam taught me how to serve flat and it's

really good. I am probably going to be a contender. Do you think?

reckon so. Is this going in there? It was the only summer sport I

played. I was disappointed... When the football season ends. In goes

our chicken again now. I ended up going to if Tennis School of

Excellence. They have clay courts there and, as in the French ones,

they are imitating those to get the kids to play. Andy Murray and then

we'll get a champion. How long do they reckon in terms of time until

we....? Andy can do it. Hopefully him. He became British again, we

got to the final. I have always liked him. I have interviewed him a

lot of times, he is a top man. He has a great sense of humour. I

don't know where this bad image comes from. He's funny. He's a

winner. That's the thing. If you have been beaten you should be

grumpy. He is focused. Off the tennis court he is a laugh. Off the

court he is a real laugh. It is like boxers. You don't want to be

not confident if you go into the boxing ring. We have tomato, stock

in there. Look at that colour already - it is beautiful! That is

from the start. This is the outset of this. Drop it down to a simmer.

45 minutes. If you don't have a tagine get the lid on your pan. We

have cinnamon, coriander, ground ginger. Next thing, we have fresh

flavours, mint and parsley. Chop those roughly, finely, whatever you

want to do really. After 45 minutes or so. You can cook this for as

long as you like. An hour will work fine. An hour? An hour, or so. So,

this is what we'll end up with, this delicious red, rich flavour.

So all of the harissa, all the other spices have come together.

Then we add some chickpeas into that. Some tinned chickpeas. That

will give it body. Give it a stir around. If you want to liven up the

freshness, chuck in tomatoes into that. Stir that around. Once you

stir that, Tim, add about three- quarters of the parsley and mint in

there. Only add them just before you are going to serve. We don't

want to cook out those herbs at all. This is very heady. It is a real

right in your face kind of flavour. The mint and parsley give us...

that too much? It is fine. You want this lovely big freshness. Straight

in on the top. Give it a stir around. As soon as you do that, the

minute these oils from the herbs react with the heat, that smell,

that freshness now. Now you get the depth of flavour and delicious

fresh aftersmell. Couscous, the only time I use it is if I use a

tagine. I hate the stuff. And then out we come with this.

only time you use couscous is this. I don't like it. When you have a

tagine, then all the big flavours and all the texture. Is this

Moroccan? It is. Would you normally put fresh coriander in this?

would use parsley and mint more than coriander. Finally on the top

a dollop of yogurt to give it some coolness. It smells lovely. What

you get is, with the nuts and yogurt, you get another depth of

flavour. This is actually the chicken I killed - I think! Isn't

it. We threw one to the crew. is cooking pudding with us. We are

doing rock'n'roll raspberry freezer cake. Go to our website for all the

recipes. Don't forget to Tweet in any questions.

Sue Barker is trying to keep control of the teams. It is less A

Question of Sport and more a question of geography.

And, Ian, your go. Go away. Come And, Ian, your go. Go away. Come

D These sport stars... Home, home, home. These sport stars all have an

English county in their name. Put them in order from north to south.

North to south. Devon Malcolm. That's Derbyshire, isn't it. Who's

the other. Oh, he's the tennis player.

What gives you that idea? Paralympic tennis champion. He was

on a show. No way! He was. It can only be Surrey.

Glasgow. Glasgow. Yorkshire. Lancashire.

Norfolk. Suffolk. I think... Would you? What is in the middle.

Worcestershire, Birmingham, Warwickshire. Lancashire is love

Derbyshire. This isn't Countryfile, can we get on with it please!

I know the answer. I know it. can line up to watch A Question of

Sport on Monday on BBC One. Can I say it? Is it Peter Norfolk.

course it is. I know it! You have seen the show!

You see our next guests in action. Not only are they rival captains

week in week out, but they performed on the sporting stage at

the highest level. Good morning. It is as much fun to do that show as

it looks on TV. I have done it two or three times. You came on and did

well. You saw me through to victory. Trevor Francis tracksuit from

Shepherd's Bush. It was one of the highlights of my

life coming on the show. Of your life? And I have two kids. A lot of

people say that. Their parents will say, you haven't made it yet until

you're on question of sportd. grew up -- Question of Sport. I

grew up with it. So to be a captain on it was a great honour. You must

feel a lot of pressure starting off when you did you your first show,

Phil, in 2008. You do feel under a bit of pressure. There are good

guys down there. You turn up and have a laugh. It's as simple as

that. Well, you say that, but you are very knowledgeable about sport

and you both must start revising the back pages all the time. Do

you? I've got - I will not go into too much detail. I do have a

routine when I go into the bathroom. I'm not allowed to leave the

bathroom unless I learn something decent. I have my trivia books.

read a big newspaper instead of the little ones. How many captains have

there been? 13 or 14. I'll go with Dawson. It is one of the best

pairings. It has worked well for you. It takes about an hour to film

one show. It is as I would go for it and they cut out all the rubbish

bits, all the blue bits. I spend most of that hour wetting myself

with laughter at some of Tufnell's answers. You can see the cogs in

his brain just clininging over. -- clinking over.

He goes it is New Zealand, then he goes, Australia Australia. I have

got better. It is a put-down or an act? Are you

out to get each other. Not really. Well...! They are all sporting

people there. They are all competitive in nature. You see the

shoulders go up and they go, come on, come on.

We get competitive ourselves. We want to do well. My parents, right,

and his wife, honestly, you go into the green room after the show, they

are like, "go on daws! Well done!". Who has won most? I am winning at

the moment. Of the two, well, I won the tour. You won the tour. I did.

I got a little trophy. It was most disappointing. I have done it. It

is good fun. You sit there and do the quiz. You let the audience join

in a bit. There is a four-year waiting list to watch the show in

the studio. On the back of having 40 years, 40 years anniversary last

year and people just can't get to watch the show live, we took it out

on the road. It went bananas. Birmingham, the first one, it was

mad. It was great! Did you feel like you were in a boy

band? I felt like I was in Take That.

We talked about our stage performances. How rock'n'roll will

this tour be? We stop for a bit of lunch.

We stop at a nice pub somewhere. It's not rock'n'roll. How does

doing the show and doing the tour compare to your sporting career? It

can never regain that buzz you got out of doing that, can it? No.

can't. We have a really good banter, not just myself and Phil, but of

course the three of us and the guests we have on. We have some

brilliant guests. Sue is a right laugh. She takes the mickey no end.

She's the boss. I forgot the original question. Let's lead the

question on, when you did Strictly, both of you, you both have done

Strictly. I was robbed. My paso doble was to die for. And I had

major surgery. Let's see if you were robbed or not. Matt first.

That was my favourite dance. Look Let's look at you.

There's not a lot of dancing going Tufnell doing his thing. That was

terrifying. We went out on the tour and I think I saw that move from

you. Can Phil and Cati a take the floor,

it was nerve-racking. Everybody says it is frightening

Strictly. The first couple are frightening. You stand there with

fake tan on, a very tight pair of trousers oond a shirt. You go out

there and have -- trousers on and a shirt. You go out there and have to

dance. Alice just moves like this. How

good is Strictly, just out of interest. She wants to do it. You

want to do it, don't you? Would you do it? Divert attention.

You did that last time. Let's talk about cricket -

sledging... Do we have to bring this up?

Alex thought we were going to talk about you sledging as in a snow

sledge. That's right. Don't laugh. Mental

disintegration. We asked for a good story. I got sledged by Ian Healey,

just as Warne was coming up to bowl, he said to me, "hey, Tufnell, can

you lend me a brain, because I'm He steered on my toe. He went, your

mum is my dad. Of course she is. Is she? We have been talked about the

most satisfying comment you have come up with? It was about Brian

Lara. I used it as something to spur you on. It was great fun.

will give you one question. Which English football club is the anyone

to start with five consonants in its name? What is a consonant?

is not a foul. The boys are hanging around for cocktails, gadgets and

cooking. Still time to get your e- mails and tweets into them. Go to

the website. Here is what else is still to come on the show. Moody,

troubled, ruthless, least that is back. The final dish is Salmon and

Asparagus Quiche. -- Rufus is back. We took about rich Hammond and

Engineering connections. You performed and played golf but how

is your cooking? This is the Norman Bates model. Do you could battle?

cook breakfast on Sunday mornings. -- cook at all? In Arizona, where I

live, we barbecued everything. says here that your favourite food

is rattlesnake and eggs. We have a lot of Mexican food. You make it

with Rizzo and onions. -- chorizo. The Indians always made it. I would

like to eat some. It is a little chilli. How are the eggs? Scrambled.

You take eggs from the rattlesnake and you put them on either side but

you used to keep snakes as pets? We used to have a boa constrictor.

guess the principle must be the same. The rattlesnake is

particularly good. I do not think you can eat snakes in this country,

I think they are protected. Do not go and eat a snake if you see one

to then. The Queen is allowed to eat swans but we are not. We are

going to make a Raspberry Freezer Cake. The base is bourbon biscuits

with melted butter. The topping is mascarpone cheese, salad cream,

whipped cream, sugar, almonds and raspberries. What we do for the

source: It is really with doing less. -- this. The source is sugar

and water. We add the raspberries and a bit of the kill. We blend bit.

-- a bit of liqueur. We blend it. Apparently people are not buying

American cookies. We need to save bourbon biscuits. Save them! These

are traditional. That is the base. We have whipped cream. Add the

sugar, the sour cream, the mascarpone and mix all of that

together. You mentioned earlier you were friends with Keith Moon. Is it

true you had a drinking group? were called The Hollywood Vampires.

It was the last man standing drinking group. Nicky Jones, John

Lennon, every once in a while, when he would sometimes ran away from

his other world. What was the idea of this? It was the last price

standing. You would drink and drink and they would carry you out. It

was just an excuse to see what Keith Moon would wear that night.

One night he would be the Queen, one night Hitler, one night the

French may. It was an eternal source of entertainment. -- French

maid. It got so bad you had to give up drinking altogether. About 30

years ago I gave up drinking. The doctor said, if you want to join

your buddies, Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin, I would give you

about two more weeks. I have not had a drink for about 30 years.

Golf is my addiction now. Normally people play golf and start drinking.

I was drinking and then played golf. I do not play golf because everyone

gets obsessed with it. It is absolutely the most addictive thing

on the planet. Lord help you if you hit two or three good shots. All it

does is the Dixie moth. I live in Arizona where the weather is great

every day. -- addicts you more. I am out at 6:30am every morning.

Right after I make dessert like this! We add a bit of the raspberry

sauce. We do not need to mix it in. We scoop all of that over the top.

This on to that? OK, great. This does look like something out of my

show. How long do your shows take to make and design? I let the

lyrics of the songs create what will happen on the stage. You

figure out what it would look like. You would have a giant bed in

Welcome To My Nightmare. You would have things under the bed and in

the closet. Has it always been tongue in cheek? Absolutely. You

cannot do horror totally. You have to do it with a punchline. Rock,

horror and comedy are all in bed together. You have to give the

audience a laugh. While there are stories about you killing people,

ripping heads off chickens, what were your parents thinking?

parents knew my sense of humour. They knew it was the dark sense of

humour. My dad was a pastel. -- a pastor. He said he could not

condone the lifestyle. It was my career so I was doing all that. He

said he loved the music. He could tell you who played bass for the

animals. He loved the Rolling Stones. One of my favourite things

you have ever done worse when you work in Wayne's World. We sound

like we are on -- Jeopardy, don't we? This is what we get. Refreeze

it until it is solid. -- Wee frees it. -- we freeze it. This is a

heart attack on a plate. You get a good, clean cut. It is like a

cheese cake? It is a frozen cheesecake, in effect. You scoop it

up like that. You guys are going to love this. I made it! A raspberry

on their, some more raspberry sauce. One of your many talents is cooking.

Your opinion matters more than anybody. It looks like it is soft

but it is not. If you take it at 20 minutes before, it starts to soften.

That is the ten-second rule. In my house, it is. Is it good?

Arizona, where everything is 120 degrees, this is great. Coming up:

We are cooking the final dish. Some great gadgets. Now the last chance

to name the year for these stories. When did Acorn Antiques last

# nothing will ever be the same again. It is the final countdown.

Britain'as oldest twins celebrate their 100th birthday. The final

section of the M25 has opened to traffic. It was opened by the Prime

Minister this morning. Challenger sliced more than two rows of the

transatlantic record. Richard Branson and his crew were overjoyed.

Excuse me, can I have a word? is to ask me about your

untrustworthy cousin, the answer is, Lots of clues, but what year was

that? Well, I asked Alice for some advice earlier on. He reckons 1984.

I went 85. Now it is cocktail time and Wayne

is here. What's on the menu. We are using Indian ingredients. Did you

like touring in India? Loved it. Didn't have too many cocktails in

India to be fair. You didn't drink? The odd one. Do you like cocktails?

Love them. What is your favourite Whisky sour.

Alex, do you like a cocktail? are you doing there? This is

caramelised pineapple, with gar ram ma salla.

The pineapple has that acidity, put in some brown sugar. It gets the

intense flavour. That will come through in the final drink. I have

some fresh lime juice. The juice of half a lime to give it some

sourness as well. There has been a lot of talk in cricket about how

there is depression. How hard is it? Interest is pressure on the

family. How we used to combat it was go down the cocktail bar and

have a drink. Nowadays it is intense. The guys are not allowed

out of the hotels now because of security and what have you. It is

hard. The PCA, the players' cricket association is addressing that.

They are addressing it and putting things in place. What is in there?

Light rum. I put in a little bit of a herbal and spicedly quur from

Italy to balance out the -- spiced lick cure from Italy to balance out

the flavours. Pineapple and lime, it gives a good

balance. Give it a good shake. Sometimes when I am at home

watching this, I think how can they taste those cocktails, usually I

might have a hangover on a Sunday. It is weird being here, feeling

fresh. Crushed ice. It is nice and fresh.

It is poured straight over. That is going to be top drawer.

They usually are. I like the look of that already. There is the smell

of the pineapple and spices. Top it with some more crushed ice. Garnish

it with a couple of pineapple leaves and you have sugar and spice.

I will give you a straw each. Have a go on that.

Go on, Phil. You can't wait to get in there, can you? Leave some for

us. It is weird seeing you with a cocktail. You normally have a pint.

Lovely! Very, very nice. Very clean though. Very clean. You have the

richness of the pineapple. You get the aromatics of the spice.

In here I have one of Tim's favourite ingredients, coriander. I

know he dislikes it. It works well with the mango. I think mint would

be better. Do you like that, Phil? Very nice.

It is refreshing. It is. I have some mango chutney. A lump of mango

chutney with the mango in there. Put in a little measure of this

mango drink, followed by Arek. It is where things like rum originated

from. It was made from palm sugar,

coconut palm, made from dates, syrups. It is strong, isn't it?

Generally what you find. I'll have a gentleman's pour. Good pour.

bring these flavours together. I'm going to New Orleans. I'm up

for an award. World's Best Barman. You would not think to put mango

chutney in a cocktail. You often put jams in. It is great

in drinks to add richness to it. One thing in Indian restaurants,

you have chutneys, that is what I am trying to do, to bring the

flavour into the drinks. You hate coriander. It will be interesting.

I don't like it. Do you like Thai food? But sans coriander. That's

French. What is that, to get rid You should have a sutdle coriander

character. -- subtle coriander character.

There is acidity to fresh mango. Just hand it over, Wayne. Come on,

just hand it over! It is very sophisticated.

A mango wedge. Go on, Phil. again? We'll do it together,

romanticly. If you fancy making either of Wayne's India-inspired

cocktails go to our website: Not as sharp. Can you taste the

coriander. Background. I prefer that. It's nice. If you are a fan

of the Wire you will have missed this actor since Luther. In this

clip he visits Alice, in a secure unit.

Want some? I've got to go.

Mad men to catch. Need any advice?

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 86 seconds

I'm up to speed on my lunatics. Luther is back to fight crime and

the system on Tuesday. Welcome back Nicky. I saw you at

the netball. Wrong team won though. Maybe for

you. Mavericks won. Let's go on to the gadgets. We have

three. Let's start with this one. It is father's day next Sunday. We

are going to start with the Doodle Speaker. You can print any photo,

any of your kid's drawings on to the Speaker. Go to your website,

upload an image. They print it and you get these cute Speakers. That

is my daughter here. Those are obviously the presenters. It has

Alice's tune. Good tune. It has decent quality. It has the Doodle

market plays. You go go on to Doodles market play. If it gets

bought you get 20% royalties. That is 30.

Move on to this. You are wearing the gadget.

This is great for dads who like golf. This is a regular golf club.

You have sensors built into the fingers here, as we can see across

the top. There is a little come putter on the top linked to the

sensors. The aim of this is it monitors your pressure. If you try

and do a swing and hold it tightly, the computer will tell you are

holding too tightly by beeping. You learn when you are holding it too

tightly you relax. Can you grip and hold it too tightly. I will try and

hold it too tightly. Is that too tight. You can hear that going.

take your normal swing. Perfect - you see! Let's see your

swing. If it is too tight you'll push it right every time.

monitors every part of your swing. It tells you.

Oh, that was a good shot. Yes! I hit down on it. I hit down

through it. It monitors your pressure.

My fingertips now. If I am gripping this too tight. We can show the

camera, it has an image of the hand. It shows you the fingers you have

held with too tightly. Once you know that you can change that and

improve your swing. When you get into a pressure situation, the

first thing that gets tight is your hands. Do you like that gadget?

It's great, but I don't need it. That is about �50. Finally this is

for dads who have everything. It is called a racehorse simulator. It is

not motorised. In order to get the motion, we have a jockey here,

Christian, he will show us how it works. Christian, show us how you

do it. It will keep you fit and the children. Head, neck and body. Work

together. Weight on your feet. Crouch down in a squat position and

push away. You are a proper jockey. Can you let Matt have a go. Do you

ride horses? I've done a lot. Done a lot!

LAUGHTER Put your feet in the stir rups.

-- stirups. This is great for exercise if you

can get on! It is great for exercise. There you

Whoa horse! Get some sugar lumps. Did I win? Did I win? You can try

That is about fitting hundred pounds. If you write like that, you

will go around in circles. -- �1500. You can find out more about those

gadgets on the website. I cannot get off. Richard Hammond is finding

out what lies behind the success of We have assembled everything you

have asked for. How is this an earthquake? We can simulate an

earthquake by dropping this lump of metal into the water and it will

create a wave. In an earthquake, you have waves on the ground.

has set up a system to warn me of the earthquake so I can try to

protect the tower. That is a size monitor. That should detect the

quake and trigger a warning on his laptop. We have an earthquake

detection system soak it one know when there is an earthquake. I will

use that to tell you when you have to take action to protect the tower.

Ready for an earthquake? Yes, I am. I will ignore the sound of large

waves. I will not move until the warning system detects the quake.

Any sign of an earthquake? Yes, it is coming. The thing is... You are

too slow. You can track the bullet train tonight at 6:10pm on BBC Two

and BBC HD. Are you all right? think I have ripped my trousers.

was the biggest jockey I have ever seen. You are not great at rising -

- riding a horse but you have good at cooking. You won Celebrity

Masterchef. I am a bit more worried about Phil Tufnell. What is your

signature dish? I would say Italian/Japanese fusion.

Impressive! Are you making this up? We are going to make what all

self-respecting sports men make, quiche. For at the filling, it is

simple - eggs, cream. We have hot smoked salmon, cinnamon, chilli

flakes, tarragon, red onion and lemon. Who will chop and who will

mix? I would like to see Matt's cooking and chopping skills. Do not

throw that! We need it finely diced. Could you crack those eggs into

there? Are you fans of quiche? really. I have not tried a lot of

quiche. I think it is much underrated. I like quiche and a bit

of salad. Earlier on, I think you have the answer. Which English

football club is the only one to start with five consonants in its

name? Crystal Palace. While they are busy chopping, after you have

done that... There will be lots of chopping. Then we add chilli flakes.

Good wrist action! LEA zest of lemon into the air and squeeze the

lemon into their as well. -- into it and squeeze the lemon into it as

well. What was your signature dish? Fusion of Japanese...? Anything

grated. We have had eight wheat from Dave who says, Matt, which you

ever go into professional rugby coaching? -- a treat. I probably do

not have time at the moment. It takes up a lot of time. I enjoy the

specifics. I am more of a mental for scrum half's. -- mentor. Phil

is into art as well. There you go. He is slightly stooped as if there

is a level of intensity. You should see when he does an impersonation

of a dolphin? We want the asparagus slicing on an angle so it looks

attractive. We have honoured the Drake. He is sane, which one of you

would win in an arm wrestle? -- saying. We are not competitive in

any way. Who would win? Me! I think that Matt and Phil have a very

positive relationship. Often with blokes they raise a bit of, I am

better than you. -- bet is. Can I ask a question? People are wary of

asparagus. If you spoke to an eastern European person, Babe with

nuts now because they break down the enzyme. It is because -- they

would not smell because they have the enzyme to break it down.

Without being too graphic, do you like asparagus? It is gorgeous.

Once that is done, that is beautiful. That can go in there.

Big flakes. You want big pieces. Otherwise it is like cat food. You

know what to do with that. That goes in as well. All of it. You

have a lovely aniseed flavour. Asparagus, and in, chilli, some

nutmeg. What did you cook for the final? Scallion pancakes. The main

cause was sea bass bus-stop for -- the main course was sea bass.

the end, they did say he could open up own restaurant. I think they

were being nice. When you have a professional, it is a poor game

than an amateur who thoroughly enjoys his cooking. You could be

the best cook in the world but there is very few similarities

between cooking at home for friends and doing it for hundreds of people.

There is a different entity. Also the creativity. To come up with

three of four brand new dishes for a show like this is a huge amount

of work. You are a legend? I am. I think of myself as being like a

national treasure. That goes into the pastry case. All of that in

there. It is a gentle fault. -- tour. Branching out. Why not?

poor that in and so it gets to the top of the pastry case. That is

gorgeous! How long does it coke? minutes. You do not want it to

overcoat because then it becomes like scrambled egg. -- overcook.

The smell is divine. How long? It is on a low temperature was dug you

want to set it was dubbed I think 40 minutes will set -- you want to

set it. I think 40 minutes will set They were all from the Year...

Nine-86. I do not know whether that is right or wrong. -- 1986.

You are looking for some freaks? For Hallowe'en. I do not think in

London, England, it it really celebrates enough hammering. Camden

does? -- enough Hallowe'en. Camden does! This show we do, we come in

and our show is Hallowe'en anyway every night. We're at the Alexandra

Palace. Last year we had freak auditions. We had street people who

were doing the oddest things you have ever seen. Some of the stuff

actually made me look away. The sheer we are looking for at St fire

at. -- this year. Interesting things with a fire. It probably

sounds dangerous. Do you need to be professional to do that? You would

think. They will be performing in the show. I am trying to get Arthur

Brown. I'll see if I can find him. We have not got left -- long left

on the show. Who inspired you to do you make up? It is basically clown

make-up. The two stripes. It goes from being a clown to a really

scary clown. A lot of people are terrified of clowns. It should be

funny but it is not. That is all we have time fault. Many thanks to our