Bread The Hairy Bikers' Cookbook

On our first trip, we're baking bread.

It's simple and basic and goes well with everything.

We'll also be doing a Hairy Baker ploughman's and soup.

-A sort of yin to the bread yang.

-We British love our bread -

we buy 12 million loaves a day!

That's 12 million loaves we could be baking ourselves!

There's a lot of choice in those supermarkets - what happens if people don't decide to bake?

People are missing out on this.

That's a tragedy - we've got to do something about it.

Even today, most bread - white or brown -

is made from the humble grain of wheat, crushed to become flour.

At the end of the 12th century, an ingenious method of turning wheat

into flour arrived in the England - the windmill!

This one, at Kirton-in-Lindsey near Lincoln,

is 400 years old and still going strong.

This is Merv the Miller. How does he separate the wheat from the chaff?

-I see you're dressed for it, so we'll get to action straightaway.

-Right-o.

-OK, we are going to attach this bag of wheat...

-Make a loop.

..and you, Dave, get upstairs quick,

-cos if you don't get up there, this thing is going to beat you.

-Oh, you can see right up his smock.

Are you there, Dave?

Try it, mate!

You need to pull it quite hard, don't you?

You do. Yeah, no-one said the life of a miller was easy.

-No. What happens here?

-It keeps going.

Ah, I get it - you've got to hang onto this?

-Yes.

-Dear me.

-One more bang, and she's up there.

-Oh!

-Let go.

-Let go?

-Let go, quick. It's there.

-It's there?

'So whilst I pour in the whole grain,

'the wind turns the grinding stones.

'As the grain is ground into wholemeal flour,

'it drops into a giant sieve which separates out the different grades.'

This end, tiny particles.

-That end...

-Not so tiny.

-Not so tiny.

-Ah, OK.

-Right, so white flour, because that's the tiny particles.

-Look at that lovely, creamy...

-That's fine, fantastic.

-Fine flour.

-So the next one would be...?

-The next one is our light brown flour.

-Look at that,

-different texture.

-Different texture again.

-More grainy.

Much more grainy. What bread's that, then?

Well, we make a sort of medium brown loaf with that.

-Right, OK.

-Now, this one is semolina.

-Semolina.

-Semolina. Semi - half.

-Half.

-Molina - milled.

-Semi-milled, of course!

'OK, time to make a classic brown loaf and a ploughman's lunch to go with it.'

Cutting and a grinding, scritching and scratching, and out it comes, flour in its various forms.

We are gonna make good bread - brown bread, you know -

but not brown bread that's like a hippy's clog or that stuff that people make that's like cake.

It shall have bounce, it shall have spring, texture, flavour,

the lot - be the most perfect thing for a ploughman's lunch you've ever seen.

Right, we start our lovely, fantastic creation...

By making a ferment - it's what gives the bread lift, it's like Viagra of the bread world.

Eh! I tell you what, though, a bit of a warning at home -

don't eat it too quick or it'll give you a stiff neck! Anyway, on with the recipe.

To that, we add wholemeal flour and rye flour for a bit of crunch.

A tiny amount of yeast and a lot of warm water.

So, when you've got a big bowl of gloop,

all you do is put something...

cover it over, cos you don't want dust to get in.

We've nicked these shower caps from the hotel - look at that, eh!

Hey, see!

Just put that somewhere kind of draught-free, it doesn't have to be super hot, for about six hours.

-Eh?

-Aye.

-Six hours?!

Slow food moment.

I'm starving, me.

Oh, look at that - it's bubbling away like a rabid pig.

Hey, man, lovely. Six hours, that, dude. I'm starving. I could eat my own feet.

But look at it - it's a lovely honeycomb, you can see the fermentation has taken place,

you've got bubbles, that's what's giving it taste and good texture.

To the ferment, we are adding half white and half wholemeal flour, some salt and water.

Wholemeal flour because it's better for us, as it is made using

the whole-wheat grain - nothing is removed in the milling process.

You gonna do the kneading?

Oh, smashing(!) I'll do the kneading, so not only have I not eaten for six hours,

now I do some low-impact aerobics - what are YOU gonna do?

You've got youth on your side.

-I'm starving, dude, me, man!

-It'll build up an appetite.

Kneading bread, there's no rules,

and when it becomes elastic, it's done.

Now we've got to leave the dough for another couple of hours, until it's doubled in size.

-Good things come to those who wait.

-I am going to kill you.

Come on, let go get our bits for our ploughman's.

A traditional ploughman's lunch can be boring, but not when the Hairy Bakers are involved.

We're going to create two different picnics to go with our bread -

a lunch any ploughman would flog his tractor for.

For my ploughman's, I'm going to Cote Hill dairy to get some local Lincolnshire cheese.

Me, I could eat a scabby horse.

But instead, I'm off to the Pink Pig farm where these little piggies will do nicely.

This Mellow Yellow cheese will go beautifully with our brown loaf.

How gorgeous are they? They make the most fantastic, um...

Cover your ears, ladies... (LOWERS VOICE) ..bacon - whole joint fantastic. The crackling! Whoo!

Unbelievable. Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude there.

Look at that ham! You can tell it's had a good life - good fat content, gelatinous meat.

'Hey! I'm talking about the ham, not me!'

And are they from you-know-who?

-I'm afraid they are.

-Are they really?

Yes!

Back to our bread, and it's risen beautifully!

Ah, yes, magic has happened, alchemy has taken place - it's doubled in size.

And it only remains for us to...

Wash with egg.

Oatmeal on the top, little bit of sea salt.

-Bob's your uncle.

-Get it in the oven.

-Oh, and we'll be eating in about an hour.

-Eh?!

And now we're ready to assemble our ploughman's spread!

But whose lunch would the weary ploughman prefer? Mine?

Or mine?

Some say the ploughman's lunch was invented by advertising men in the '60s to get us to eat in pubs.

I think it's open to interpretation, imagination! Go on, blow the budget!

So what have you got there, then, my frugal friend?

Now, then, this is not frugality, this is simply a perfect taste

on the palate - fab ham, fantastic blue cheese and for the crunch...

What have you got?

If you're doing it, do it properly. Some rare roasted fillet of beef with cracked peppercorns,

some Yellow Belly cheese from Lincolnshire from the dairy.

-Aye, that's good that, mind.

-But this perfect ploughman's is merely a garnish for our fabulous bread.

-Look at this baby! Ho-ho-ho!

-That's a perfect country loaf.

Look at that, and THIS is the vehicle to get all this into your mouth.

We need... some good English ale.

Hey, Dave.

This just cuts fantastically well. Look at that.

-It's beautiful. Nice foaming beer.

-There you are.

Wow, that's gorgeous!

Eight hours of nurturing care, we've certainly worked up an appetite, and was it worth the wait?

Oh, aye.

Cheers.

# ..I'm on the road again... #

And let's head back to mine.

I've got hungry mouths to feed tonight.

That means more baking for you, my friend.

Ah, yes, our famous brown ale and cheese bread. Can't go wrong with that.

And a nice onion soup to go with it.

Good grief, dude!

I like the new kitchen - when did you get this done?

I know - it's lovely! But don't mess it up!

First, for our brown ale and cheese loaf, we've got some warm brown ale - not too hot, not too cold.

I'm adding sugar to feed the yeast and then I'll leave it

for five minutes whilst Dave gets on with his onion soup.

First off, what I need to do is... some butter, splash of olive oil -

that stops the butter burning. Now, it's got a lot, a lot of onions.

That's a northern portion, dude, that is.

And with that, we're going to wilt some leek and some apples -

good, English, sweet, eating apples - and the sweetness does come through in the soup.

It'll take about 15 minutes to sweat down, and the onion mustn't go brown.

-This is what you call a white soup, and a burnt onion is an unhappy onion.

-It's not happy.

On that note, we're going to put all our dry ingredients together.

What we have some strong, strong plain flour, we have some wholemeal flour,

mature Cheddar - a big cheese for this bread, big flavours, just to complement the soup perfectly well.

So that goes in, and also we've got some Parmesan just to come under that lovely Cheddar, it's fab.

To that, I'm adding mustard powder, salt and some fennel seeds.

All you do now is get your hands in it and mix all those dry ingredients together.

Right, lovely. Now, the leeks and the onions have wilted to a point

of absolute apathy, so into that we put some chopped potatoes

and get them nicely coated.

We are now going to add the wet goods, two eggs...

And now, look, this warm beer with the sugar and the yeast, pour that in...

it's like home brew.

-Dunno, you smell like a brewery.

-It reeks, don't it? It's dead good!

-Yeah.

-And now get your hands in it.

-Get stuck in, love it, enjoy it,

you know, it's safe, it's legal, you can even do it naked!

And what you do is you just keep working it

until your hands become clean. I love this bit.

It's the only exercise he gets.

Now it's time to make the soup.

I got some good cider here, so a nice big glug of that. Ooh.

Oh, blimey, 'eck.

To this, more flavours of the field, a little bouquet garni of thyme,

three bay leaves...

I'm now adding chicken stock, salt and white pepper.

Then I'll let it simmer for 20 minutes.

I've split the dough into two loaves and I'm slashing the tops for a rustic effect.

What we're going to do is, we are going to tent this

with a white plastic bag and now we are going to leave it to rise slowly at room temperature.

The reason we've made the tents rather than putting a tea towel over the dough

is to give it lots of space to rise. An hour later, the loaves have doubled in size.

Smells lovely - yeasty and lovely.

It does - beery and mustard... it's got everything.

The egg white's like varnish - it gives an egg-shell finish for that boulangerie chic look.

SIMON LAUGHS

Now, pre-heated oven, 200 degrees, 25 to 30 minutes or until golden brown, OK?

Meanwhile, I'm liquidising half the soup so it's both smooth and chunky at the same time.

Hot!

Come on, talk to me... Hollow - that means it's cooked.

-I'll go get on with the soup, mate.

-All right, mate.

The moment we've been waiting for - the breaking

of this lovely brown ale and cheesy loaf. Oh, Yes!

It's soft, with great texture and smells fantastic!

It'll go perfectly with our onion soup.

To which we've added grated nutmeg, Gruyere cheese and some fresh chives. Ah, it's delicious.

There's nothing like the taste of home.

The best thing since sliced bread. Good soup, good bread,

good company. What more could you want?

-Nothing, absolutely nothing.

-You know, it's been a great trip -

baking in Britain is thriving, and it's exciting to be a part of it, it's a revolution.

It's fantastic, mate, and as well, there are great people caring about what they do.

There are fabulous artisan producers, great millers,

and it's brilliant to be part of, fabulous - I love it.

Aye, so go on, folks, use your loaf, go out there and get your oats.

THEY PLAY DVORAK'S SYMPHONY No 9, OPUS 95 (THE HOVIS ADVERT)

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