Churchill and the First Englishman Sir Mortimer and Magnus


Churchill and the First Englishman

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'Sir Mortimer Wheeler, the greatest archaeologist of our time.

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'Now aged 84, he lives an active and hospitable retirement

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'close to London's Trafalgar Square and his beloved British Academy.

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'He's been a star in everything he's ever set his hand to.

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'Now he has time to look back with wit and affection

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'on the great men and events he's known or admired.'

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Are you a student of Benjamin Disraeli?

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-No.

-You're not.

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I am.

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I find that Benjamin Disraeli on my table by my bedside,

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it lightens my day for me, or my night for me.

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He...he produces

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exactly the things I've been trying to say myself

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for so long.

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And lately, I've picked up his, I think it's his last novel.

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A novel of his old age - Lothair.

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And there I opened the book at a page which has

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a direct bearing on what you've just been saying.

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On this page he is talking about

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a little man called Pinto,

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Portuguese of some sort.

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But a pet of society in the period he's writing off.

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And he...

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..gives an idea of the sort of conversation that he imagines,

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or had heard, taking place in his time.

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After all, nearly everything that he wrote in his novels is, for us,

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an inheritance from the age of conversation.

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And in this particular book, his hero, I think, his hidden hero

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is a little man called Pinto.

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And Pinto he describes in what I think is a perfectly delightful

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and eloquent manner.

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"He was not of intellectual Croesus

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"but his pockets were full of sixpences."

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And he gives one or two of the sixpences as examples.

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And one of them is this,

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"He would sometimes remark, when a man fell into his anecdotage,

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"it was a sign for him to retire from the world."

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'Well, in spite of his professed aversion to anecdotage,

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'Sir Mortimer himself is a marvellous storyteller.

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'He relishes the quality of greatness in others

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'and not least the faults that he believes

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'that no genius worthy of the name can ever be without.'

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So, the genius can still make an infinite number of mistakes

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and still be a genius?

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Well, yes, well, look at Churchill.

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There's a whole book about his mistakes -

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Churchill: A Study In Failure.

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It's a sensible book too, a sensible book.

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But of course, it leaves out all that matters about Churchill.

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What matters is what happens in between his failures.

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And his failures themselves were stimulating.

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It's rather a curious story.

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If...if it bores you just put a finger up and I'll stop.

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Perhaps.

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It happened this way -

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in the year 1938...

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..I received a formidable document from the University of Bristol...

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..inviting me to accept an honorary doctorate, you see.

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The first time it had happened to me.

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Of course, as you get older and go down the slope

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these things happen as a matter of course and they just happen.

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But this was the first.

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And it...it so happened

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that Winston Churchill was, at that time,

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the Chancellor of Bristol University.

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He had been for some years.

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And if he took on a job of that sort he always did it.

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He would always turn up at the great ceremonial occasions.

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And so, when in due course I appeared in the Great Hall,

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in the line of the stalls, you know, sitting in between...

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This made me laugh internally, I can tell you.

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Sitting between a future Prime Minister and

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our greatest living poet.

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And here was little me in between.

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-Why? Why on earth?

-That was between Churchill and who?

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No, no. That was between,

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um, Anthony...

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-Anthony Eden.

-Anthony Eden.

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Between Anthony Eden, who hadn't been then Prime Minister,

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he was going to be eventually,

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and with T.S. Eliot.

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There were other...a few other people to make the row up.

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And there was I but I couldn't make out why on Earth they'd picked on me,

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little me.

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I was a very shy... I am by nature a very shy man,

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as you may have discovered.

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HE LAUGHS

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Up on the dais sat the Chancellor,

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in his Chancellor's robes.

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And the one thing of course that Churchill loved above all else

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was dressing up.

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And in due course, we walked up the little stairs

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and knelt on a cushion and the Chancellor threw out our hood

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and he set it on your shoulders and you made an honest man.

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Well, it came to my turn.

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I went up and knelt on the cushion.

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And I imagine that the Chancellor was intended to say something like,

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"Bristol expects that every man will do his duty,"

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or something of that sort.

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Instead he said, "I want to see you. Meet me afterwards in the anteroom."

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This was in a hoarse whisper

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while the hood settled on my shoulders.

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And I went down.

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Well afterwards I appeared in the anteroom.

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"Ah, you're going back to town, yes?" "Yes," I said.

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"Would you come with me?"

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"Yes." HE MURMURS QUIETLY

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"Well, OK, I've had enough of this, let's get in the car

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"and go to the station."

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And outside there was a Daimler car as long as a train you know,

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waiting for him. We got in.

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When we got to the station, this was 1938, before the war.

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There was a great crowd.

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Churchill always magnetised a great crowd in some sort of mysterious way.

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And there was the Chief Constable and all the rest of it.

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The station platform was cleared.

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We walked across it and we got into a carriage, a whole carriage,

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not a compartment but a carriage

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marked - "the Right Honourable Winston Churchill".

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I didn't, I still didn't know, I hadn't a clue what was happening,

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what it was all about.

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We sat down opposite each other as I'm sitting down opposite you.

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And he produced from his pocket...

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..a pair of eye shades with elastic.

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And he proceeded to drape it round his massive forehead.

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"When I travel by train, I always sleep for half an hour."

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You see he was building up a little bit of reserve, there.

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And he put it round his head

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and left it up there.

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And then he leaned over to me and said, "Now I'm going to tell you.

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"I'm writing a history of the English speaking people.

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"I've got the Danes,

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"very difficult people the Danes.

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"Let us talk about the Danes."

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Well then, of course, the whole thing

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was, it was clear to me that he had given me a degree

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because I was the only archaeologist he'd heard of

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And he wanted a bit of help.

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Well, that was all right I could...

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fair enough.

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Well, we talked about the Danes and then we passed on to other...

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to prehistoric Britain and so on.

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And the eye shades never came down.

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But we met the following day and behind him is a shadow,

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very extraordinary this shadow,

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Lindemann who afterwards became Lord Cherwell.

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I never heard, at that time,

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I never heard Lindemann, or Cherwell, say anything.

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Later, he... We met on various occasions and we talked

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but he was the shadow which gave Churchill a peace of mind.

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Churchill had somebody to lean on

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in some curious, psychological way.

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Anyway, we talked together, we talked on other occasions.

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And I remember one of the questions which Churchill asked me

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on one occasion was,

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"Tell me, who was the first Englishman?"

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Well, that's a bit of a question to have fired at you.

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And of course, in the Churchillian sense, knowing what he wanted,

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I said, "Oh, the Piltdown Man."

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It's a curious, monkey-like skull which had been found,

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not very long previously, in a gravel pit at Piltdown in Sussex.

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And this was regarded by many people at the time

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as a very primitive type of sub-man.

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And he made a mental note and then after all these conversations said,

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"Would you write it down and send it to me?"

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So I wrote these things down and sent them to him.

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And of course, he took them and he put the Churchill into it.

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He put the headlines into the whole thing. He brought it alive.

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I simply just...I simply gave him a little fuel and he lit the fire.

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Now, I'm now going to pass on.

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There came the war, as you will very well remember.

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Just before the...on the eve of war,

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the proof of the first volume arrived and I saw it and corrected it

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and sent it back.

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Then the war.

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And at various levels,

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well, he and I were occupied for the following 10...15 years.

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I remember very vividly the next occasion upon which this

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question arose,

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the question of the history of the English speaking people arose.

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It was on a day in August in 1954

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and I was sitting in my office

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and a letter came to me from Churchill's editor.

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Churchill by that time was still - he was Prime Minister.

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He was a sick man really.

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I rather think he'd had a stroke but I'm not sure.

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Anyway, he was a burdened man

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with no time to look at the niceties of a proof

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and he'd handed the whole thing over

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for final correction to his principal subeditor.

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And he, not knowing that I had actually drafted the original,

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sent it to me and asked whether I would be good enough

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to read it through and comment on it.

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I did and opened it at the page, almost, where the Piltdown Man

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appeared as the first Englishman,

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with Churchillian decoration.

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Well, since 1938, or '39,

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when I had written the draft,

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things had happened to the Piltdown Man.

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In 1949, and again in 1953,

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new chemical methods had discovered,

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determined, that Piltdown Man was a forgery, a complete forgery.

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Well of course this had passed over, or passed by,

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the mind of the busy Prime Minister,

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the ailing Prime Minister who was the author of it in its final shape.

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And I spent that August day, I remember, with a sort of fretsaw

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carving out all references to Piltdown Man.

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You won't find a single reference to Piltdown Man now in Volume One.

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But by God if it had got through!

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The whole of that bestselling history,

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those four volumes,

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would have rested upon a forgery.

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It was a near miss!

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