Bishop Itchington To Buy or Not to Buy

-The sun came out.

-It is lovely. Can I ask a pertinent question?

-How many bedrooms did you say today's house-hunter was after?

-No less than two.

-I think we're fine there.

-And also she'd quite like to have a lawn

-because she's got a dog who wants to run around.

-I can see no problems here.

And she'd quite like a bit of character.

Yep, that's here in spades, Nikki.

And, obviously, she'd like to decided to buy or not to buy.

Of course she would. Nikki, budget-wise, do you think she could afford a Tudor mansion

with 231 acres of land?

-Whoa!

-Today, viewers, we are in South Warwickshire,

where there's charm and character in abundance.

Really? I'm not really getting a sense of that right now.

Thank you very much. On national television, as well.

Now, it's a little-known fact that I am a whizz at croquet.

If you cut me in half, rather like a stick of rock, it reads "I Heart Croquet." Look and learn.

SHE LAUGHS

I do hope your house-hunting skills are better than your croquet skills.

Have you seen the programme? No, they are, they're excellent.

-Should we maybe stop doing this now?

-Yeah. And I think we should go and find three houses for our buyers.

It's that or 45 minutes of To Croquet Or Not To Croquet. Let's go and find a house.

'Coming up on To Buy Or Not To Buy, we've got a couple of tricky customers.'

And in terms of what you're looking for, then,

-give us some sort of clues.

-Right.

-THEY LAUGH

-You're one of those type of people!

-A list!

I warned the programme about people like you! I said, "No, we're not having any more."

'There's plenty of fighting talk from Ed.'

I'm comparing what they said in my house and, I'll be honest, I'm livid.

'And Nikki shows why she's not a chef.'

-Don't tell me you lifted the lid!

-No, I was so desperate to see...

-If you lift the lid on a slow cooker, you add about 12 hours to the cooking time.

-I didn't!

'Today, we're house hunting for Pat Harvey.

'She's moving back to the Warwickshire area from Devon

'so that she can be closer to family and friends.'

'She's being helped by her friend, also called Pat, who used to be an estate agent.'

'So it looks like we may well be given a run for our money.'

'Indeed! Pat plays bowls and is very active in her neighbourhood,

'so she's looking for somewhere with a strong community atmosphere and local amenities.'

'And good dog-walking, as well, cos this chap, Barney, will be joining her for the move.'

-Now, we're excited because you have thrown up quite a brilliant thing. You're both called Pat.

-Yes.

-Yes.

We need to work out how to tell you apart.

You look different, but with the same name, it'll be tricky. Shall we have Pat and then your initial

-or...

-Pat One, Pat Two?

-Pat One, Pat Two.

Are we going to argue about who's Pat One? Really, Pat One should be you.

-I am, yes.

-Because you're looking for the house today.

-Yes.

-And Pat Two, you're helping.

-I'm the helper.

You're not just any old helper, are you? You're an expert. You're a former estate agent.

-No, not here.

-It's slightly embarrassing, really, that we've had to come along.

-You're going to show us up, aren't you?

-I am, I think.

Now you're in Budleigh Salterton

and a lot of people would wonder why you want to move from such a beautiful place.

Yes, it's beautiful, but I haven't settled.

-Where are we thinking about moving to?

-North Cotswolds, South Warwickshire.

And, in terms of what you're looking for, then,

-give us some sort of clues.

-Right.

THEY LAUGH You're one of those types of people!

I warned the programme about people like you. I said, "No, we're not having any more."

-Honestly, don't be shy.

-Have you got a compass, as well?

-Yes, in my pocket.

THEY LAUGH Put your compass away!

All right, let's just deal with this at the moment. Give us the list.

I really would like a detached, cos up until this last house,

I'd always lived in a detached, and this one is a semi

and I've just missed the extra space.

With regards to new or old, I don't mind.

It will be the actual feel of a property.

And I really would like a southwest-facing garden.

-Hence the compass.

-Yes, hence the compass.

Pat Two, scan down the list. What do you think is important?

-Knowing Pat, I'd say south-facing back garden.

-OK.

-OK.

Now, we've got a bit down here that you mentioned. You said you hadn't settled down in Budleigh Salterton.

-Now, active community.

-Yes.

-So I think this is quite important to you

because you want to get involved and do stuff.

-Are you going to be joining the group that make the saucy calendars?

-Well, I haven't been asked yet,

-but there's always a chance.

-Will you be doing the calendars or the jam?

-Bit of both, I'd say.

-I can't guarantee that the jam works out well.

-But the calendar will be fantastic.

-Do you have any particular hobbies that we need to consider?

-I do bowl, flat-green bowling.

-Is she good, Pat Two?

-Yes.

Do you need a garden that's big enough for you to flat-green bowl practice?

-No, no.

-Do you need a garden?

-I do need a garden, yes.

I've always had a lawn and this time I hadn't. It's a lovely garden, it's not big,

but I have missed the lawn, and my dog has missed the lawn.

-Oh, you've got a dog.

-OK.

-Yes.

-How many bedrooms?

Minimum of two, but if it was two, it would need to have the extra room downstairs.

-Right.

-But I'm not really bothered about...

-Two to four, really.

-Two to four.

Thank you, Pat Two, for putting that in. So, two to four.

Kitchen space. Are you a very big cooker, Pat One?

-Not now, no.

-But she likes a big kitchen.

OK, thank you, Pat Two. You're a very good double act!

-Let's go for a garage.

-Garage space?

-Yes, garage.

-Double garage or single garage, Pat Two?

-It doesn't matter.

What remains is your budget, I suppose.

Yes. Obviously, I don't want to pay any more than I need,

but if it was pushed, 325, 335.

-Because I've got to allow for anything that I want, walls knocking down or anything.

-OK.

-So, OK, 335 is maximum.

-Yes. Absolute maximum.

Can we do it, do you think?

-Well, I hope you can.

-Can we have your piece of paper, please?

-Yes.

THEY LAUGH We'll give it back to you later. See you later. Wish us luck!

-Right, Nikki. Did you see me stealing the list from Pat One?

-I did.

-You're smart. Well done.

-Good idea. OK, here we go.

-We have got sausages, artichoke hearts, washing up liquid.

-Is that your shopping list?

-It is.

-Sounds like an interesting meal, though.

-It does. Artichoke hearts?

OK, ladies and gentlemen, this is Pat's actual list.

Have a look at that. This is the list.

Pat Two said, "Come on, lose a few things. Give them a chance." That's a very long list.

-How much money do we have?

-£275,000 starting point, maximum £335,000.

Four bedrooms, but is happy with two.

-And she wants one of them?

-Inglenook fireplace?

-We need to cross our fingers. Right, you get out there and I'm going to go there. See you later.

-See you later.

'Today, we're in rural South Warwickshire,

'home to gorgeous countryside and the Charlecote Deer Park.'

'We'll be concentrating our hunt around the villages of Stockton and Bishops Itchington.'

'Stockton is the smaller of the two, where community life is centred around the Nelson Club,

'village hall and the Crown Inn, which is home to a very successful petanque club.'

'Bishops Itchington is a larger village towards Stratford-upon-Avon,

'which also has a vibrant community life based around the Greaves Club,

'Memorial Hall and St Michael's Church.'

'The area lies on blue lias clay and has a history of quarrying.

-'The remains are now the Bishops Bowl Fisheries.'

-'Both villages are in the Warwickshire Council district

'which has seen an average house-price rise of just over £8,000

'since a low in April 2009.'

'OK, so let's see what today's budget of £335,000

'could buy you in other rural towns and villages around the country.

'How about this detached cottage in Cockermouth in the Lake District?

'Known as the Old Pump House, it has four bedrooms, a lounge and dining room

'and private walled garden. It could be yours for £300,000.'

'You could also buy this modern house located in Wortham on the Suffolk-Norfolk border.

'Butler's Cottage provides bright and airy rooms with a touch of old-style charm.

'It has five bedrooms, a large double garage and a lawned garden.

'It's on the market for £335,000.'

'In Peveansey, East Sussex, you could purchase this character property

'with a detached annex that has its own conservatory.

'There are four bedrooms, three bathrooms and two reception rooms

'and it's on the market for £325,000.'

'Now back to our house hunt in South Warwickshire.'

Thatched cottages, little veterinary surgery.

I think I'm going to get a sense of village life here.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-My name's Ed. I'm from the BBC. You must be Debbie.

-That's right.

So, John, what would you say makes village life so special and unique in Warwickshire?

A good, close community, really. Everybody working together with one another.

Pat One, as we call her, has looked at villages, Moreton-in-Marsh, Bourton-on-the-Water,

-very lovely, very posh...

-Very expensive.

-And she can't find much around there.

What are the areas that she could look at?

Well, there's Kineton, Tysoe, Oxhill, Whatcote.

There's lots of nice, small villages round here

-that would be cheaper than Moreton-in-Marsh, the Cotswolds.

-Yeah.

Sum up village life for me.

Well, village life, it's a community. Everyone helps one another.

And, me being a post lady,

I'm probably the only person that some old people see in the day.

And they ask me to do little jobs for them.

-Right, what we got?

-We've got a very nice barn.

-Two-bedroom barn there.

-That looks great. That's really good, isn't it?

-It is.

Very, very friendly. We've got a lovely butcher, lovely shops,

very reasonably priced, and everybody's so friendly.

You walk along the street and people say hello

and you feel as though you belong.

-Debbie, you have been phenomenal.

-Thank you.

-It's a pleasure. See you later.

-OK, bye.

Well, I have just had the most lovely time getting to know the area

and the people and the sense of community. Very, very nice.

I've had an adorable time in an estate agent's, which I do on a daily basis.

Five days a week I'm having fun with estate agents.

Now, the property I've gone for, property one, with the mysterious property-hunting team,

is in Stockton. I have gone for character.

The village is very nice. It has a WI. She could do what we were discussing earlier with the jam.

-And the calendar.

-Yes. Let's not talk about the calendar.

It's very nice. My only concern is it might be a bit too small.

I have no concerns about size whatsoever,

because I have found Pat a four-bedroom detached house.

Actually, this is a modern property, but it looks like a cottage.

It certainly does. You fooled me. I was thinking that was Victorian.

I think it's got everything that she needs and it's in a beautiful village called Bishops Itchington.

-Have a look at that.

-Now, I have been lured by Bishops Itchington.

Nikki has been lured by Bishops Itchington. Which is why our joint choice, the wild card,

-is in Bishops Itchington. Bishops Itchington, if I can say that once more...

-Bishops Itchington.

It sounds like a medical complaint for someone in the clergy.

Here it is. It's the wild card. We have gone modern.

Nikki's one was modern but didn't look modern.

This is modern and looks modern. Ish.

The rooms are very big with modern houses. It's very nice.

-It's got a lovely garden.

-Do you know why it's called Bishops Itchington?

-Yeah, it's a medical thing.

-No, it isn't.

The Bishops bit is right. It is from a man of the cloth.

-But Itching is from the River Itching.

-That's taken all the fun out of that.

-Shall we start the houses, now you've made Bishops Itchington sound sensible?

-Aww!

Let's go to property one and I will sort her out. There it is.

'Property one is a character-full extended cottage with original features.

'There's plenty of downstairs space, good-size bedrooms

'and a great garden for Barney.'

Now, Pat One and Pat Two, walk toward property number one.

This is the one that I have gone with, with the mysterious property-hunting team.

Have you ever been to this village before?

-No.

-What are your initial impressions? A lovely primary school, which looks as you would imagine.

You have got a lovely village green down there.

-You've got a local pub up there. It's quite a nice feel.

-Yes.

-It has got a village feel.

-Do you like the look of it?

-Yes, most of it. What I've seen.

-OK.

OK. Well, glare at this building here. Now, you were all about feel and emotion and sense.

So, Pat One, what is the building saying to you?

It looks very nice. It looks as though it's been well cared for, actually.

Again, it's one of those that I think has got the character inside.

Now, Pat Two, you used to be an estate agent, so how would you describe it?

A traditional cottage that's been extended a little.

It looks in fairly good order.

In the heart of a village on a relatively peaceful road.

-You were very good as an estate agent! I'm going to give you your checklist.

-Right.

-Pat One, there it is.

-Thank you.

-Don't be too cruel with me.

-Get into the house and enjoy it.

-And tick it off.

-Hopefully there'll be a lot of ticks. Three, two, one, enter your future house. Go.

-Enjoy!

-Thank you!

-Oh, this is good.

-Yeah, it's a nice, square hall, isn't it?

-Yep.

And the stairs going up. I like them when they go to the side and not straight in front of you.

Oh, this is quite nice.

The beams don't make the room look too closed in, do they?

-Do you think they're original?

-They look it.

I don't want to correct either Pat One or Pat Two.

-They are nice beams, but they are not original beams.

-But they look good.

-One of your tick-lists.

-Oh, yes, fireplace.

-Yes, this is a good size.

-What do you think about the school?

-It doesn't really bother me. That's not a problem.

-OK.

-It's such a heart-warming sound, to hear little children. I love it.

-Exactly!

And also, they're on holiday all the time. They only go for five weeks, then off on holiday.

-This is a nice size.

-So, I think you're going to get the sun at some point.

-Yes.

-That's quite nice with the doors there.

-Yeah. And this is the extension part.

Yes. The lounge, then, was the older part.

-So this is definitely big enough.

-Oh, yes. This is a nice size.

It's like a little hallway. Oh, this is a utility,

-Oh, this is good.

-You could put your dirty boots in here when you come in from the garden.

-Oh, this is good.

-Gosh. Didn't expect this.

-No, I didn't, either.

It's like a little study or family room.

Yes, it's more of a garden room, isn't it?

Cos this you can keep, then, as a study.

I think it's difficult to see where it's been extended because it's all...

It's been very well done, actually.

OK.

Oh, and the bathroom.

-Oh, this is bigger than I thought.

-Yeah.

-You could almost...

-I could get a shower in, probably, as well.

-Yes.

-Ooh. This is obviously the original part.

-Yes, it is, isn't it, with the beams.

-Would I feel safe with that over my head?

-SHE LAUGHS

Yeah.

-I like the windows.

-Yeah. It's really big for a main bedroom.

-Yes.

I'm racing round inside Pat One's head at the moment and I think Pat One likes it.

-I'm right in there.

-I think Pat Two is also liking it.

OK. Oh, that's the bathroom, isn't it?

I think this is the extension part.

-Yes, cos that's the front of the property, isn't it?

-Yeah.

OK, into the second bedroom.

Obviously a little girl's room. Plenty of storage.

-Oh, that must be over the stairs.

-Yeah.

-It's got a double bed in, as well, so it's quite a good size.

-Yes.

-Right.

-This is number three.

-Oh, this is a good size.

-So there's three double bedrooms, which I think is very useful, isn't it?

And you wouldn't need to use one as a study, because you've got that spare room downstairs.

-I think, with this property, even though it's been extended at the back, it's still light.

-Yes.

That's a nice view out to the garden, as well.

Yes, I think it's got all the room I want, hasn't it?

-I think it's big enough.

-Yes. And all the rooms, I could change to how I want them.

-Yes.

So, Pat One and Pat Two, you've looked round the property.

My initial concern before we came here was I didn't know if it would be big enough for you.

But, actually, I think you... Let me know. Were we right out here? Was it a good feeling in there?

Yes. The size was brilliant and it's got the little rooms and the extra rooms that I wanted.

-The kitchen was a good size, too.

-Yeah.

I was surprised at the accommodation,

because you've got the extra extension on the left as well as on the back,

-so it makes it a big house.

-Mm.

-And quite light.

A couple of things that were obvious. You've got the school out the front. Did that bother you?

Not an infant/junior school.

-It would've been if it was a senior school.

-OK.

-And, did you spot what's over there?

-Yes.

Small electricity substation.

That I have come up against once before

-and I was told that there was no problem.

-No danger.

-Shall we do the tricky part?

-It's time for you to guess the price.

So, you've got a budget of £275,000,

-going up to a max of £335,000.

-Yes.

-That's the real maximum.

-Yes.

-Who's going first?

-Go on, I'll let you.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Opt out.

-You're an estate agent, Pat Two.

-Erm, I'd say 287.

-OK. Very confident there. Pat Two?

-275.

-So, lower. Considerably.

-Lower, yes.

Pat Two, you were a former estate agent.

-THEY LAUGH

-I'm not now!

-Pat Two...

-Redundant!

-Do you want to put your excuses in now as to why you've lost this?

-She's been out of the business for a little while.

-It's true.

-It's not like riding a bike, is it?

-No!

OK, the actual price is £299,950.

So 50 quid short of £300,000. Pat One, now you know the price, what do you think?

I think the price was fair on that, but it's negotiable.

-And I have been known to...

-I bet you have!

-So you should!

This is the greatest time to haggle in history!

So you're a sort of "iron fist in a velvet glove" lady, aren't you?

-I can see it.

-Sort of.

-That's made it seem much more unpleasant now.

Shall we take the iron fist in a velvet glove to your property?

-Let's go to my property!

-Please don't produce your iron fist from your velvet glove.

It's that way. Back through the house.

'Property number two might only be 20 years old, but it has a lot of character.

'It's been beautifully styled inside and it's very well kept. There's even a door for Barney.'

So, my two Pats, this is property number two. It is, in fact, my property.

We're in the village of Bishops Itchington. Do you know the area?

I know of it, but I don't know it.

As you've come through the village, what's the first sense that you've had of the community and the area?

-It's softer, I think, than the other one.

-It felt very nice.

-The feel word!

-And that was the whole deal for you, the sensation.

-Yes.

And looking at the property from the outside, what's your first reaction?

-Very good.

-Very good?

-Yeah.

-A bit more than that, maybe? Does it strike you as a cottage or a house?

Very, erm, interested to go inside.

-Good.

-Well, it's cold, as well, out here.

Pat Two, what would you describe this one as being?

-A chocolate-box type...

-Ohh! I think you like this one a little bit more.

-Yeah, more interesting frontage.

-It hasn't got roses round the door.

-But you can do that!

-Oh, yes!

-Are you ready?

-We are.

-Yes.

Get in there and scratch the Bishops Itchington.

Which sounds... Go in there!

Do it! The more we think about it, the worse that becomes.

-Oh, this is nice.

-Oh, yes.

-Good size, isn't it?

-Yep.

-I like the way the stairs sort of twist round.

-Yes, rather than going straight up, which I don't like.

-Oh, dining room.

-Oh. It's very nice.

-Yes.

-Very nice. Very balanced.

-My table and the sideboard would go in there.

-It would. You've got a table in there, as well.

-Yes, that's the kitchen.

And separate dining room, but you can open it up if you have a lot of people round.

Right, I'm comparing what they said in my house and, I'll be honest, I'm livid.

-This is going much better.

-It is, actually. But I sort of knew it.

This is a lovely kitchen.

-Very workable.

-That's a nice range, too, isn't it?

-What they all rage about.

-Oh, the Belfast sinks, yes.

-That's good.

-I could stand the dog in there and bath him.

So, we could imagine Barney the dog

-soggy after a day out on...

-On the lawn.

-..Bishops Itchington, itching the bishop.

-And...

-Oh, utility.

-Yes, that's great.

-That's brilliant.

-Yes, I do like that.

Ooh, this is the lounge.

-Oh, this is nice.

-Oh, gosh, yeah!

-Now, this is bigger than I thought it would be.

-Yes.

-And we've got a little area here, Pat.

-That would be quite nice for the computer, wouldn't it?

-Very nice.

-Sort of tucked away.

-And the lounge is a really good size. Open fireplace.

-Yes, that is nice.

-I bet this gets really warm in here.

-Yes, because you've got the radiators, as well.

-Door out onto the garden.

-Yes, I like this.

-I do.

-The size is right, isn't it?

-It is.

And cosy. Yes, very nice.

-Well, they're loving it.

-They are indeed.

-I like these stairs, Pat.

-Oh, this is pretty.

-It's a lovely balcony.

-It's beautiful.

-Isn't this a lovely landing?

-Yes.

Even a little chair sitting there. It's beautiful.

Is this one of the smaller rooms?

-I think this is...

-Yes, this is a single room.

-But that's a good size, too, isn't it?

-Yeah. And you could fit wardrobes in there if you wanted.

-That's quite a big one. Quite deep.

-Yes, this is lovely.

-Bathroom.

-Yep.

-All modern. Electric shower.

-Yes.

Just a standard size, but it's quite nice.

-It is, yeah.

-Nice window. Some bathrooms don't have windows.

-Is this the exciting one with the drainage you were talking about?

-No, that's the en suite.

-Later.

-Yes. That's beautiful.

-Ah!

-This is good.

-Designated study.

-That's what I want, one of those.

-And storage.

-Yes.

-Cupboards.

-Yes, they are wardrobes.

-Perfect. Yeah, this is nice.

-Yes.

And it overlooks the front, so you can see what's happening outside.

-Is this... Oh, this must be the second bedroom.

-Number two.

Yes. Bed two. Even this has got some sort of storage, hasn't it?

-Yep, storage there.

-And a big double bed.

-Yes.

And it's all neutral so you just change it to your colours.

And you can do it when you want to. It's not got to be done.

-This must be the master bedroom.

-Yes, bed one.

-Nice, fitted wardrobes. That's good.

-Yes.

-I'm not sure. I don't think it's fitted.

-Isn't it?

-No.

-Oh, no, it isn't, it's free-standing.

-It's just an unusual shape, which makes it...

-It looks fitted.

-Yeah.

It's not a dormer window, but it's the same sort of thing with the sloping roof.

Look at that. Lovely shower.

Yes.

And I like the windows. I like the way they slant.

-Yes.

-Makes it more cottagey, I think.

-Yes, it's good.

They like them.

-What is that, Ed?

-That! They slant! Cottagey!

I think it's a really good size upstairs.

-It is, yes. Is it four... Three bedrooms and a study.

-Yes.

-Which is really what I was looking for.

-Yeah.

So, lovely Pat One and lovely Pat Two,

I heard a number of "I feel" or "It feels" descriptions,

which is exactly what we were looking for. You didn't use that word in Ed's property.

-Would you like to expand?

-Yes, it felt like a family house

and it felt warm and welcoming.

And your overall impression? Did it feel...

Because, from the outside, it looked very much like an older, chocolate-box cottage.

When you came inside, did you realise how modern it is?

It was modern, and I like the aspect of going both sides of the hall.

-And beautiful landing.

-Isn't that landing amazing? I really like that.

-Yes.

-The garden.

-Yes?

-I have to be very honest, get your compass out.

-It's north-facing.

-OK, you figured that out.

-She knows!

-So I failed you there.

-Yes, you have.

-Shall we have a game of guess the price?

-Yes, let's.

-Pat Two, you're the estate agent.

-SHE LAUGHS

-And sales.

You have to go first now. We were playing with up to a maximum of £335,000 here.

-How much is this?

-350.

350? You think we've gone over?

-It's a good guess.

-OK, Pat One, 350 is where the bar's at.

-No, I think it's a lot less than that.

-A lot less?

But it's over 300, I would think.

-Come on, Pat One!

-£314,500.

-£314,500.

-OK!

-Right.

Well, let me just say, with your knowledge of an estate agent,

hang your head in disgrace!

-Pat Two!

-You are actually the closer,

because it's on the market for £325,000.

-Right.

-It's right near the top.

-I thought it would be.

-But there's not much money to spend, if any, on it.

-No.

-And thank goodness you're not just basing everything on what Pat Two says!

-I've just got the sack!

-I thought she might help me.

-THEY LAUGH

Unbelievable, isn't it? Shall we go to the wild card?

-You are fans of the show.

-Oh, I am.

-I might as well do a hat trick.

-All right.

-You've actually lost. You can't win. But the wild card is always good.

-It could be anything.

-Let's crawl over the garden fence and let's go that way.

-Right.

'Today's wild card is a large, modern property

'which is light and airy inside.'

'And there's a little extra to the side, but something wild missing from the garden.'

Pat One and Pat Two, I bet you can't believe it. Do you know what?

-You're at the wild card.

-Well done.

-Thank you very much!

Now, I believe one of the concerns so far has been garden direction.

-Yes.

-Yes.

-I have got my fancy compass out. South-facing garden.

-Maybe even southwest.

-That's fine.

-That's the dream.

-Yes.

-OK.

Now, everyone does love the wild card.

This one might look 1970s, but it's actually 1960s.

-So it's not the newest, but it looks the newest in terms of style.

-Yes.

So, what do you think?

-It looks very nice.

-Let's talk about the obvious that is behind us and is kind of moving.

What do you think about the idea of the road?

-It doesn't really bother me.

-OK.

In estate agent terms, Pat Two, how would you describe this one?

-Family house.

-Oh, right! I like it!

-In three, two, one, enter the family house wild card. Good luck and go.

-Enjoy.

-Thank you.

Right, OK.

Oh, this is nice.

-Very unusual.

-It's almost open-plan.

-It seems to...

-I think having that window there,

-it makes it light.

-Yeah.

-Oh, that feature fireplace looks nice, doesn't it?

-Yeah.

-It's certainly a good size.

-Yes, that does make a difference, that window there, doesn't it?

-I think it makes it quite light.

-You could make quite a feature of that at Christmas.

-And your most important thing, it's facing the right way.

-OK. Yes.

They're walking in and, Nikki, what are your feelings that they're feeling?

-Well, I think you're right, they're feeling. It was, "Ooh, this is nice."

-C'est bon!

The garden is not overlooked.

Ooh, no. Just enough for the dog to run around.

I think they've had the kitchen refitted.

-Yes, I quite like those cupboards. I like the colour of them.

-Do you think the size is...?

-You've got enough workspace, haven't you?

-Yeah.

-Not so much over there.

A slow cooker is cooking a very good-looking beef stew.

-How do you know it's beef?

-I put my nose near to the top of it.

-OK.

-Don't tell me you lifted the lid!

-No, no. I was so tempted.

If you lift the lid on a slow cooker, you add about 12 hours to the cooking time.

-I didn't lift the lid, but I was so tempted cos I thought, "Is that lamb or beef?"

-Smells lovely.

-This little area is a separate annex.

-Do you think that's been added?

I'm not sure.

Is that just a toilet? Oh, no, there's a shower here.

-Oh, that's useful.

-Yes. I'll be able to wash the dog in the shower.

-So we've got a doggy bathroom.

-For Barney the dog.

He'll be showering off in there, using his paws. Ohh.

Probably have one of them soap of a rope kind of things.

Imagine the lather he could build up on him.

Oh, my goodness! Now, this is a surprise.

Oh, this is my garden television room.

-SHE LAUGHS

-You've got your room.

-Oh, I do like this. Yes.

-This is more like a granny annex, isn't it?

-Yes.

-Cos you've got the downstairs bathroom, sitting room,

and that room is obviously used as a kitchen.

-So when you come to stay, you can stay in the granny annex.

-Thank you.

-THEY LAUGH

Oh, now, look, they are saying exactly what you suggested.

That Pat Two will be able to have the granny annex when she comes to stay.

-For the record, I didn't refer to Pat Two as a granny.

-No, no.

-I want that cleaned up right now. But, yes, Pat Two could be in the granny annex.

-It's the guest wing.

-Oh, yes, it is.

-And bedroom.

-Bedroom.

-Yeah, so this is really a separate kitchen.

-It's completely separate.

-Ah, right. So you've got the complete separate...

-It is a separate annex.

-And a very light one.

-Yes.

-And this is a separate bathroom.

-Shower. That could all be modernised.

-Well, you could use it for something completely different.

-Yes.

Hang about! They are doing renovations mentally in that annex, wing, extension bit.

-What do you think they'd like to do?

-Well, I don't know!

-To be honest, we've given them a bit more of a house than they expected.

-Yeah.

-And this, then, is the...

-This is the original...

-No, this is the extension.

-Yes.

-That's nice.

-It's quite a big room, isn't it?

-Yeah.

I think you'd probably use this as a sort of hobby room.

No, I think as a guest room.

-Bathroom.

-Family bathroom, yes.

Which you could make an en suite off that bedroom

-if you wanted that as a main bedroom.

-Cos it's not very big.

-No. But it would be nice as an en suite.

-Depends what else there is in the house.

-Oh.

-You've got...

-Do you think this is the master one or second bedroom?

-Probably the master.

-Yes, I think they're Art Deco type colours.

-Look at the view at the back.

-Yes, it's pretty, isn't it?

-It's nice.

-Colours you can always change.

-Well, yes.

OK, I think what they've got to look at is

it just needs a little bit of a touch up, a tweak, she can make it her own.

-Oh, this is... This is the third double.

-This is more modern.

-Yes, this is nice.

-The colours are much nicer.

-I think it makes you realise, if it was all to your colours...

-The potential.

And you've got a good size window there.

This must be the fourth bedroom, then.

-Single.

-It's a good size single, isn't it?

-Yeah.

If you didn't want to use the downstairs annex,

-you'd probably use this as a study. You've got enough bedrooms. You won't need more than four.

-No.

I think it might be a bit big for me, do you think?

-With all the bedrooms and the annex.

-Mm. Well, you've got your space.

So, everyone loves the wild card, as they say. Does that ring true for you?

Yes. It covers most things and it's got most things that I want, possibly more.

-Right.

-More than I would want. The annex mainly.

-We took to calling that "the extra wing."

-Yes.

-Didn't we?

-It's just rebranding it. Does that solve the problem?

-No.

But then that's why it's the wild card, because you've got this extra bit.

But I could see that you needed maybe a kitchen/dining area, you want your lovely breakfast room.

That would solve all those problems. You could use that,

-make a bigger living space downstairs.

-Yes.

-Does that appeal at all?

That would only take what I call my television room.

Your summer television room.

But then you've got the extra the other side.

Either you look at it and think, "Wow" and think of all the things you could do with it,

-or you look at it that the extra space isn't necessarily a bonus.

-Mm.

In terms of the garden, you do realise, this is the only property

-where we've given you a southwest-facing garden.

-Yes.

I do appreciate that.

-And there's dog walking on the doorstep.

-Yeah! And you've got a lovely church up there

-and you've also got a double garage.

-Yes.

-Shall we do it?

-Yeah.

-It's guess the price time.

-Oh, gosh.

You have consistently let us down. You are a disgrace, Pat Two.

Yes, totally.

-So I think you should just go for a hat trick.

-I know.

-You're first now this time.

-OK.

-Oh, yes!

-I think she's chickened out of this.

-No, I'm going for the hat trick, but you're first.

-You're going to see what I go for first?

-Yes!

It is a difficult one, actually, because of the size.

I'm going for 325.

-325, OK.

-I'm going for 310.

310. And the maximum budget we were playing with was 335.

The actual price of this property...

..is £319,950, which means that you have lost again!

-SHE LAUGHS

-Hat trick!

And you've won three times. But let's see what we think about the price.

-Well, I think my price reflects that it's a good price that it's on for.

-Mm.

That said, now you have to go away and make the biggest decision of your adult lives.

-Do you know what that decision is?

-Yes.

-You've got to go and choose which to test drive.

THEY LAUGH Wander off. Don't ask Pat Two for much advice.

-No, I won't.

-See you later. Good luck.

I love their giggling. For all of you at home, here's a recap of the three properties we've seen today.

'Will Pat go for my property, number one,

'the character cottage in the vibrant village of Stockton?

'She loved the layout and the extra living space, which the sensitively-built extension gave her.

'It's on the market for £299,950.'

'Or will she go for my property, number two,

'the modern house built in a cottage style?

'Pat could feel the cosiness and thought the landing upstairs was fantastic.

'It could be hers for £325,000.'

'Or will she choose today's wild card, the '60s property with the seventies style interior

-'and a self-contained annex?'

-'She loved the layout downstairs

-'and how light and airy the rooms were.'

-'But will the size of the property put her off?'

'She'd get all that space for £319,950.'

So, ladies, you have picked property two, otherwise known as my property!

Unbelievable! This never happens! Ever!

For my benefit, what was it about property two that was so nice?

-It felt homely.

-You said at the top of the show it was all going to be about a feeling.

-Yes.

-And anything more than it feeling homely?

I loved the fire in the lounge.

-It made the cosy feel.

-Right.

-OK.

We've had our mysterious surveyor come round the property.

It's not legally binding, but it is a heads up.

-Nikki, deliver the horrific news.

-Yes.

Well, there is no horrific news, which is good news.

The property was only built 20 years ago,

so there's really nothing that is to be concerned about.

A couple of things have been brought up. It's really about insulation.

For example, the windows, they're timber and they're single-glazed.

-Yes.

-So that might be worth considering.

And since it was built 20 years ago,

the insulation rules have slightly changed,

-so a lot of it might need updating.

-Keep checking up on that.

So, basically, it's what would happen with any property of this era.

Pat Two, it's nearly that point. I am going to give you the Bishops Itchington Village News Scene Letter.

Just a thing that piqued my...

The WI, they've got one here in Bishops Itchington,

-they are having a Roman woman and food night.

-Ooh!

-Get your togas out!

-It does say bring your own toga.

So if you'd like to flick through that at your leisure. Good luck and get out of the rain.

Right, what should we do? Should we go and get the togas on at the village hall?

I'd like to see you in a toga!

-Oh, this is a nice room.

-Yes, it's very cosy.

'Well, Ed, the positive comments are still ringing out.'

Right, what have we got?

-Darby and Joan Club?

-No, let's get something a bit younger.

'She's a wild one, that Pat!'

-Oh, mobile library. That comes round regularly.

-You can still walk.

'I thought they were friends!'

'Pat One's off to the study. She looks like the type of lady

'who'd be off to read War And Peace or something cerebral like that.'

'Nope! She's playing cards.'

Well, I think it's pretty wet and miserable.

-You'll have to teach me in here.

-We've not got much room, so be careful of the furniture.

'OK, game on, and Pat One is first to take a bowl in this, the final of the living room challenge.'

-'She's got a good right arm on her.'

-'Pat Two's not too bad, but she could do with some work.'

'Oh, no. What's she hit?'

'OK, time to call off the crown carpet challenge and find out if this property has bowled them over.'

So, our lovely two Pats, you chose property number two to try.

What have you done and, more importantly, what's it felt like?

It's felt lovely. It really does feel very cosy

and I could make this a home,

but for the one reason that the garden faces the wrong way.

-That's insurmountable, is it?

-Yes.

-Top of the list.

-But you've not let me down on the house.

-Aww.

-It's very nice.

But you could, right, as you've done today, forget about the garden

and create this as your lawn. You've been quite silly, really.

There's not enough room to get a good flow.

Do you know what? In the best of Britishness, you did try.

-Yes.

-It's been raining outside and you had a go indoors.

-Yeah.

-Do you want to ask it?

-It's your big property moment.

-To buy or not to buy?

Unfortunately, it's not to buy.

-For the one reason.

-Yeah.

-And it is the garden?

-It is the position of the garden.

-And you have moved so many times

-and you've probably learnt more than anything...

-Yes.

I made the mistake once, which was my last house,

and I said I wouldn't compromise on the position of the house.

Completely understandable. Have you had a lovely time?

-Oh, I've had a wonderful time.

-Great.

-I could do it all again.

-Could you?

-Yes.

-We might have to, cos we've not found you a house!

-THEY LAUGH We've blown it.

-I can find another area for you.

-Do it!

-Send it in!

-Yes, yes.

-Maybe you could start working again.

-No, I'll give that one a miss.

-THEY LAUGH

You could have another go at guess the price if we did it all again.

I could, yes. Do you think I might do better?

-Well...

-I won't take her with me, though, next time.

Thank you very much for coming along. I'm sorry we didn't find it. Nikki's devastated.

I'm not devastated, but I am a little sad, cos we really tried.

-But I've had a fabulous time with you both.

-Great time.

-I've really enjoyed it.

-Brilliant. We're going to head off.

-Bye-bye!

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