Wythall To Buy or Not to Buy

-Hello and welcome.

-We're in the wonderful West Midlands.

-Famed for producing cars.

-Chocolate.

-And, for today, cheese.

Today, dear viewers, our house-hunter's profession

-is my obsession.

-You are a bit obsessed with cheese, aren't you?

I absolutely love it. I've been trying to convince the producers

to give me my own cheesy spin-off series

called "To Brie Or Not To Brie"

where I test the cheese tastes of the stars. Good idea, isn't it?

Sounds like "fon-due" you want an assistant?

Never mock the cheese, Nikki.

'Coming up on To Buy Or Not To Buy, Ed gets tough.'

There's a way round it. We can either put a big fence up or you could grow up.

'Nikki gets it in the neck.'

-Property number two, my property.

-THEY LAUGH

-Sorry, Nikki.

-That is a terrible first reaction.

That's a great start!

-'And a property tour takes a turn for the worse.'

-The decor's not quite to our taste.

-I'm worried about that road.

-This is going even worse!

SHE LAUGHS This is awful!

'For the last seven years, Birmingham-based couple Kelly and Mark Sprawson

'have been living in their city-centre terrace.'

'But they've gone from dinkies to diddies, or double income, double doggy.'

'And the addition of their four-legged friends

'means the Sprawsons want to swap urban living for a more rural existence.'

'Glazier Mark travels the land window-fitting the nation's homes and shop fronts.'

'Whilst wife Kelly is a sales manager for a cheese company,

'who spends her days testing and tasting Ed's favourite food stuff.'

'When she returns home, packed full of dairy goodness,

'what better way to keep in trim than turning herself into a human milk churn and jogging with hubby Mark?'

'And their canine companions.'

'Today, though, they're getting us to do all the running for them.

'So, lace up your trainers, Ed, stretch those house-hunter's hamstrings

-'and make your way to the starting blocks.'

-'I can feel the burn already, Nikki!'

-So, Kelly and Mark, although I believe we're not to call you Mark, is this correct?

-That is correct.

-Please call me Sprog.

-Why? Why?

-Well, my surname is Sprawson.

-Mm-hm.

And my father was known as Sproggie, and I just got called Little Sprog and it's stuck.

-OK, so, I've got to say this, your house is lovely.

-Mm.

-Thank you.

-It's phenomenal.

-Thank you.

Which puts the pressure on us already, and we don't know what you want.

You want better than this? You want a different place than this? What do you want?

Well, this is the difficulty, cos I would quite happily move this house to the country with a bigger garden.

-OK. So it's the country you want?

-It's more country and it's more outside space, really.

We've lived in our house for seven years now

and, to be honest, when we moved in here, we were quite different people.

We liked to go out, we liked to do this, that and the other.

Now we're boring, we've got two dogs,

we go running, we go walking and that's about the height of it.

-That's lovely!

-I think that's a beautiful life.

-It's a different life.

So, how many bedrooms are we looking at?

Well, we've got three at the minute, but we need to have at least two and a study

or three bedrooms so that I can turn one of them into an office, because I work from home.

-You'll just be tasting your cheese at home?

-No, I don't taste the cheese at home because it smells too bad.

-It'd be a very pongy room!

-Really pongy. If I find a bit under there, it's not very nice.

Speaking of work, you're a... Is it a glazier, a glacier or a glazer?

Structural glazier. Is that good enough for you?

-You put glass in, basically.

-He puts windows in.

-You put windows in.

Will that be something you look at very closely in our properties?

-THEY LAUGH

-I'll be looking for shoddy workmanship.

-We all are!

So, we know how many bedrooms, we know you want more outside space.

-Where are we looking?

-As long as we're close to the M5, M42,

so we could stretch right round to junction one,

over towards Bromsgrove direction, right up to Shirley, Solihull.

-Would you want village life?

-I don't mind being in the middle of nowhere,

-but you like villagey, don't you?

-Yeah, so you've got more of an atmosphere.

There's a nice village about five miles away called Alvechurch, which is very nice.

-What's nice about it?

-It's got a couple of nice pubs and some of them do take dogs.

What we like about there, as well, is you've got a number of different walks you can do.

You can walk off into the countryside or there's the canal there, which is nice.

Which we run along quite regularly.

-I think we're near the point where we need to know how much money.

-Indeed.

-What is your budget?

-I'd say our top is about 325

and that would include doing work or anything else, so 325 is the maximum we would have.

-Wish us luck.

-Good luck!

-See you later.

-Bye.

-Bye-bye.

Well, Ed, we know what they want now.

-And, more importantly, Nikki, we know what they don't want.

-Do you know what we need now?

-Perhaps a piece of Stilton cheese I've been carrying?

-No.

Or, er, a little nibble of the Cheddar that I've got?

No, Ed! You are obsessed!

What we need now is to find out more about the areas they're interested in.

Right. Would you like a little bit of Stilton, viewers? No?

'Mark and Kelly are searching just south of the M42, where Birmingham meets Worcestershire.'

'The transport links are great, with three motorways minutes away.'

'But it's also in the West Midlands green belt,

'which buffers Birmingham to the north and Redditch to the south.'

'The villages here offer the Sprawsons the country feel they're looking for.'

'We're centring our search in Sprog's preferred location of Alvechurch.'

'The village is classified as a conservation area.'

'This means building is restricted and demand for housing is high.'

'Even if we can find them what they want,

'will Mark and Kelly's £325,000 be enough?'

'While we worry about that, dear viewers, feast your eyes on some rustic retreats

'which today's budget will buy you elsewhere in the UK.'

'This three-bedroom terrace in Chesham needs updating

'but is at the end of the Metropolitan Line.

'Countryside, a short commute from the city,

'could be yours for £299,950.'

'You could soak in the Scottish scenery from any of the four bedrooms

'of this double upper, or maisonette to you and me,

'part of a Jacobean-style villa in the conservation area of Preston Village.

'You're only a 12-minute train ride away from the bright lights of Edinburgh.

'With offers in the region of £320,000,

'it's accessible living at an affordable price.'

'If you're yearning for a bit of Yorkshire, then treat yourself to this white-washed wonder.

'This quirky cottage has two reception rooms, a whopping four bedrooms

'and these priceless views across God's own country.'

'Beautifully put, but factually incorrect, Nikki, because the views and the house can be yours

'for a very quantifiable £269,950.'

-Sir, can I ask you your name?

-Paul Queen.

-Paul Queen?

You're clearly a man who knows the area. You've won many awards for your butchery.

Paul, would you like to take part in a one-time-only opportunity

-to play To Brie Or Not To Brie?

-Right.

If you could fish into the To Brie Or Not To Brie arena.

OK.

Right, OK, now pop that into your mouth, please.

If you could hand me the stick.

Whilst Paul is tasting those cheeses, here are some facts about the cheese in his mouth.

'Cheddar cheese was originally made in the village of Cheddar in Somerset.

'It's the most popular cheese in the United Kingdom,

'but will Paul recognise its distinctive tang?'

Paul, the cheese in your mouth. Is it To Brie Or Not To Brie?

-To Brie.

-You're saying it's to Brie?

-Yeah.

-You believe it's a Brie?

-Yep.

-Paul, unfortunately, that cheese was a Cheddar.

OK, right, place that into your beak.

Hand me the stick.

OK, viewers, this is name of the cheese that Paul is currently tasting.

And here are a few facts about this cheese.

'Paul's picked the Brie, named after the province of France it originates from.

'But will he call it correctly in the taste test?'

Paul, if you could now open your eyes. You're in play.

-To Brie Or Not To Brie?

-To Brie.

Paul...it is a Brie! Congratulations!

-Do you think we've got some legs in this idea?

-Could do, yes, very much so.

As a contender, did it seem fun, was it engaging?

Fun and tasteful.

To Brie Or Not To Brie, Nikki, has gone incredibly well with the people of Alvechurch

and I'm expecting any time probably... I've got the phone on.

Prime time, I think, are interested. It's a very strong format.

-So if I do have to go at any point, just carry on.

-OK.

-Shall we talk about the houses?

-Let's.

This is a beauty. They're all in brilliantly-named places.

Cofton Hackett for this one. SHE COUGHS

Which does sound like an instruction to do that. It's very nice. It is a mixture of two things

and I think it's a cracker. I won't say any more cos I don't want to spoil it,

but it is really good. I'm hoping, nay believing, they'll go for that one.

Well, mine is a 1950s property.

It has three large bedrooms.

It needs a little love. It's semi-detached.

-The most important thing is...

-What?

-It's in the village of Alvechurch, which they love.

They do. They may love that, but everyone loves the wild card.

The wild card does not meet any of their criteria.

It is boxy, it is modern...ish.

But, and this is the radical gamble we've played, we think they'll like it.

-We do!

-We think they'll love it. We're quite confident about it.

I'm confident about my one, but also about the wild card. I'm not confident about Nikki's.

Well, that's his duty, to be unconfident.

-Where should we start today's journey?

-You, confident one!

The one in Cofton Hackett.

'Nestled in their favourite dog-walking hotspot, the Lickey Hills,

'property number one is the brick-built embodiment of everything Kelly and Sprog asked for.

'It's rural but it's connected. It's got the space they need and the character they'd like.

'With credentials like that, what could possibly go wrong?'

Kelly and Sprog, walk towards what could be your dream home.

We are in a place that sounds like a medical condition. We're in Cofton Hackett.

Kelly, I want your first impressions of the area, the property. What do you think?

-I know this area. My friend lives round the corner and I've discounted this road before.

-Why?

-Because we're close to a reservoir.

-Fear of water?

-Frogs.

-Genuinely?

-Genuinely, 100 percent, frogs.

-OK, so frogs are an issue.

There's a way round it. We could either put a big, high fence up or you could grow up

and stop being scared of frogs. OK? THEY LAUGH

You could have some CBT, cognitive behavioural therapy.

-There are ways.

-OK, there's ways round the frog issue.

Look at that. Now, this is perfect for you.

You know the area, your friend lives down the road.

You've got the Lickey Hills there, lots of runs and walks, the dogs would be over the moon.

I think it looks really nice. I like the style of the house.

I'm intrigued as to why there's wood sitting outside. I'm thinking there's a burner or something.

Yeah, I like how it looks. Good first impression.

Likewise. First impression is very nice.

Presumably, when you look at that view, you see the potential to run every week.

-I just think tired legs.

-Tired legs.

Now, commute-wise, we are five miles from the M5

and we are four miles from the M42, I believe.

So that is quite good for commuting?

-That's not too bad at all.

-Are you ready to go in?

-Don't think about the frogs. Go in the house.

-OK.

-Parquet flooring.

-Oh, I like parquet floor.

I've always liked parquet floor, haven't I?

Ed, Kelly wouldn't sit out here, would she?

Not with this jazz-playing frog about!

-Ooh, there's your little wood burner.

-Ah, that'll be why the wood was there. OK.

-I like the size of this.

-Yep, quite a good size.

-I like the wood burner. I do like that. What do you think?

-I quite like it. It's a nice feature.

They were very cunning to spot that from the outside.

I thought it was just decorative when I saw it.

Some people do do that, but here, it's for function and fashion.

OK, where are we now? Dining room. OK.

I wonder, is there another dining room, or is this it? What do you think?

-Not bad, not bad.

-It is quite good that you can open the door in between.

-Yep.

-OK.

-Quite light. As most people say, light and airy.

-Light and airy.

They're fans of the show, they're aware that they've made an embarrassing mistake

-by using the phrase "light and airy" but it is!

-It is.

-If something is, something is.

OK, we've got a conservatory.

Never really thought about one of those, but OK.

What do you we think of the outside space?

It's bigger than ours, which is what we're looking for.

-Yeah.

-And it looks manageable.

-Can you see any frogs?

-No.

I quite like this conservatory. I've never really thought about it before, but it's nice.

-I'm not a conservatory fan.

-Yeah, but look.

-Oh, the views are nice.

-Yeah. Which is nice.

So, into the kitchen.

This is...

-Not so keen on the worktop, but...

-No.

Quite a decent size. Looks like there's lots of storage.

-Yeah, OK. I quite like it.

-There's another door there.

I'm assuming that goes to a lean-to or something.

-Cos a utility would be quite nice. We said that, didn't we?

-That would be good.

With the dogs and everything.

Oh. What have we got?

-Oh, it's just...

-Just a little walkway through from the front.

-Look, though. Extra space here. This is a handy space, actually.

-It would be.

-I like this landing.

-Nice, spacious landing.

Yes, I like this. Nice and warm, as well.

-Right, OK.

-I'm assuming this is bedroom three.

-Quite a nice size, really, isn't it?

-It's bigger than our bedroom three.

-Yeah.

-That's all right for an office.

-Yeah, but it's not the most inspired view for an office.

View out of the front instead of the back. I'd prefer to be out the back.

Now, she has got the view over her neighbours at the front if she wants to turn that into an office,

-but the Lickey Hills are at the back,

-Yes.

-What more...

-Look at the hills and eat cheese.

-Doing your cheese accounting whilst looking over the Lickey Hills.

-Mm.

OK. Ooh, right, OK.

I'm assuming this is the main bedroom, then. OK.

-Furniture-wise, you can see that it would all fit in here.

-It would.

-Especially if you got rid of the wardrobes.

-Yeah.

Let's go in here. Ah!

So, another third bedroom, then.

Currently used as a bit of a storage office area.

-No fitted wardrobes.

-No fitted wardrobes, which is good.

Now, that's a much nicer view out the back, isn't it?

-It is. That's a bit strange.

-What?

White wedging gasket in the windows.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

-A white wedging wedgy...

-Gasket, yes. White wedging gasket. Come on, Ed!

-Do you know what it is?

-Of course I do!

-Can you explain it now?

-No, it's your house, I'll leave that to you.

-OK, good.

-You don't know, do you?

-No.

Oh! Teeny-tiny little room.

-Ah!

-So four bedrooms, but this isn't really a bedroom, is it?

But do you know what it feels like to me? It feels like a new house on the inside.

-Because of the size of things.

-No, not necessarily because of the size,

because of the colours and stuff, which I know is silly, but it just feels a bit soulless, really.

She may be saying those words, but she doesn't mean it. Inside she's saying, "I'm scared of frogs."

This is a lovely house, it's beautiful, it's perfect.

It has character seeping from every corner. But, right, Kelly can't handle the frog. That's the problem.

Right.

Well, it's not the smallest of bathrooms, that's for sure.

At least we've got a shower as well as a bath.

-Carpet, though. That would have to...

-I couldn't be doing with carpet. OK.

-Yeah, there we go.

-After you.

-Thank you very much.

Kelly and Sprog. This is quite a moment for you, Kelly, because...

-I'm really scared.

-This is the last place on earth you want to be.

-It is.

On a scale of nervousness of one to ten,

where are you now? She's scared of frogs.

-I'd say I'm probably about an eight.

-I sense from a couple of comments

that you might not have to worry about frogs, because it wasn't grabbing you, was it?

I wasn't too concerned. I just think it needs a bit of colour, your own touch.

-So you do think you could put something into it.

-I don't see why not.

I think you could. For me, the big shame is that the big bedrooms are at the front of the house,

so you can't see the lovely view. That would be my...

No, one bedroom's at the back and one's at the front, the two master ones.

Only in theory. It's a smaller bedroom, I think, at the back. Only slightly, so you could do it.

-You're only trying to wangle for a bigger office at the front.

-No!

-Listen, cheese and time wait for no man. Do we want to know how much it costs?

-We do.

-We do.

-Well, we won't tell you. We never do.

-Yes, we have to guess.

-Who wants to go first for guess the price?

-Ladies first.

I'm going to go for £329,950.

-OK.

-Sprog.

-I'll go for 318.

-318.

You are closest, Kelly, so it's 1-0 to you,

but the actual price is £349,950. Everyone loves a haggle, especially in this market,

so I'm not saying they told me you could get money off it,

but you could chance your arm if you wanted to and it might come nearer your budget.

-But I think you need to look at more houses, don't you?

-I think so.

All right. Shall we pluck up the courage to go to Nikki's, which is in a more frog-dense area than this?

-You wouldn't dare.

-It so isn't!

-Just get me out of this one.

-OK. Go.

Go on, this way. Run. There's one coming.

'My choice is frog-free and bang on location in the sought-after village of Alvechurch.

'I think this has the potential to be the perfect house for Kelly and Sprog.

'But property in this desirable location is scarce, and this place needs a thorough overhaul.

'Kelly and Sprog have done it before

'and I'm convinced they could turn this into a contemporary pad

'in the heart of a rural community.'

So, Sprog, Kelly, property number two.

-My property.

-KELLY LAUGHS

-What's that?

-THEY LAUGH

-Sorry, Nikki.

-That is a terrible first reaction.

-That's a great start!

I take it you don't like 1950s houses. In Alvechurch!

Well, that's true. We are in a village where we wanted to be.

-Not convinced.

-You don't like...

-From the outside, I'm not convinced.

-OK. This has three double bedrooms.

-OK.

Unusual, because other ones in this period only have two and a box room.

This has got a room that goes... Well, you'll see.

Also, 200 yards that way, you have the Birmingham to Worcester canal, beautiful.

You've got countryside for the dogs. And, apparently, there's a pub very close by

where, on a lovely summer's day,

-owners stand outside with their dogs.

-There we go.

Erm, do we think, by the end of the tour, we can change our initial laughter into "Well done, Nikki"?

-Give it your best shot.

-Well, you go in there and you try

-and we'll try from out here. Good luck.

-Use your imagination, guys.

-Well, it's a hallway, which we haven't got.

-That's true.

-Need to get rid of all the wallpaper.

So, are you confident, then?

They've stopped laughing now. That's a positive, isn't it?

-OK.

-Obviously, the decor's not quite to our taste.

No, it's not, really, is it? The dining room...

-The dining room with the bay window, that's quite nice.

-I am worried about that road, though.

-And the school.

-And the school. There's a lot of kids walking around there.

So let's make the list so far. They laughed at the house. They didn't want to live near a school.

And, also, you thought the objection would be the massive amount of cars going past.

That's three strikes and they've not even got past the first room.

-Right, so what have we got here?

-This is obviously the lounge.

-Bit of a groovy fireplace.

-Like the one we used to have.

But, do you know what? I quite like the fact that it's not rectangular and it's not square.

And you've got double windows, which I quite like.

Kitchen!

-Dark, isn't it?

-Very dark.

-You'd need to put in a brand new kitchen.

-Hm. I'm not mad about it.

-Likewise.

-Not mad about it, really.

-But you can see past the decor.

You can, and it's not a bad size kitchen, really.

I have to stress this, it is a very nice house.

It isn't the house for them, though, is it?

Well, evidently not. But I really think this has got huge potential,

otherwise I would not have taken up their time.

-OK.

-Oh, quite a nice bathroom.

-Ooh, it is. It's not what I was expecting.

-Not at all.

Yeah, not what I was expecting at all in here.

To the credit of Sprog and Kelly, they are trying. They are really trying.

-One of the big bedrooms.

-Back bedroom. Fairly big, is it?

Not quite what we're used to, but...

I don't know, I feel quite overlooked here, to be honest.

-You're thinking estate.

-This isn't an estate, but we're on the back of an estate here.

So I'm not really liking that.

-I feel as if I'm back at home a little bit.

-Yeah.

You've moved Kelly now, emotionally, back to Northern Ireland.

Not that it's a bad place, but she just didn't sound like she was happy where she was.

This is going even worse! SHE LAUGHS

This is awful!

-This room seems a little bit bigger.

-More built-in wardrobes.

-Am I the only person in the world who doesn't like built-in wardrobes?

-No, I'm the other person.

-Bay window, that's not bad.

-Interesting light. Interesting light position.

Yes! Plus tree and telegraph pole right outside your bedroom window.

-Mm. I'm not liking this one.

-No, it's not...floating my boat.

Doesn't tick any boxes, really. But still more to see.

OK. Gosh, you are positive.

-Ooh! This is the TARDIS room.

-Ah! Right! OK!

It is a bit of a TARDIS. Interesting. Let's...

-Do we dare look round the corner? After you.

-Let's have a look.

Hm.

Oh, it's all right, we're only little. Oh, it's just a wardrobe space, really.

To be fair, this would be a great office for me.

I can just put all my rubbish there out of the way.

However, I don't think that's going to save it, really, do you?

We haven't done guess the price.

They haven't got to any potential yet.

Oh, my goodness. This is all hanging on guess the price. How much is it going to be worth?

I'm not tell you, Ed Hall. It's a guessing game.

Well, I think that's the saddest audio-snoop I've ever had.

-Sorry, Nikki.

-You're not sorry.

-No.

-You're right on that.

You're the one who should be sorry.

-OK, so, even when you saw the house from the front, it wasn't your type of property.

-No.

I'd had some confidence in thinking that you might see some potential and use your imaginations.

-You singularly lack imagination.

-Thank you very much.

She has opened it up for attack now. THEY LAUGH

To be fair, I think we can see what we'd do,

but the telegraph pole is still going to be outside the bedroom window

and I still don't feel as if I live in a village.

Right. Even though you do actually know that 200 yards away is the most amazing countryside,

-the village is a couple of minutes down the road?

-Yep.

-None of that?

-Afraid not.

-Right. Wild card?

-THEY LAUGH Now, listen.

-There is something you can do.

I think, right, one of the reasons Nikki may have chosen this property

will be revealed when we play everyone's favourite part of the programme, guess the price.

-You were closest last time, Kelly.

-I was, yes.

-Would you like to go first or second?

-I'll make Sprog go first.

-Sprog, guess first.

-£269,950.

-Confidence there.

I think it's more because of where we are, so I'm going for £289,950.

-Hm.

-Right, well,

you're closest, so it's one-all.

£249,950.

OK, now we're seeing a little excitement on your face!

You're missing the stamp duty, you've got so much money to play with

in terms of remodelling and doing the things you might like to. Does that put a new complexion on it?

-No.

-THEY LAUGH

-I'll say slightly.

-Oh, thank you!

-Shall we go to the wild card?

-Let's go to the wild card.

-Are you crossing your fingers?

-Yes.

-Like you've never crossed them before. This way.

-Come on.

'Let's hope the wild card proves more popular.'

'This could go either way, Ed. Outside, it's a everything they don't want.'

'But beneath its boxy exterior, we think there's a purrfect quirky charm

'that could win the seal of approval.'

'Only one way to find out, then. Let's unleash the beast that is the wild card upon them.'

Kelly and Sprog, I would like you to walk toward everyone's favourite part of the programme, the wild card.

-Now, there are many reasons why this is wild. You said you didn't like boxiness.

-Right.

-You said you didn't like modern.

-Mm.

I would say this is boxy and modern,

but in a different way.

I think that, from the outside, is a slice of seventies chic fabulosity. Don't you?

I have to say, it's not modern-modern in the way that we dislike.

I really quite like the big windows at the front.

-Mm!

-And I think it looks very interesting.

-Sprog, what are your thoughts?

As you know, I prefer a lot of brick. There is some PVC cladding but it doesn't put me off.

-I'm still quite interested.

-It's got brick on the side. That's good.

-And you know this area.

-We do.

-Ed, tell us your affection for this area.

It is a personal moment of mine. I've been on the programme for quite some time

and I have really wanted to come to this place. Ladies and gentlemen,

we are in the amusingly titled Lickey End.

You know the area. You've got friends who live near here, is that true?

We have. Our friend lives about two miles down that way

and the Lickey Hills are just behind where we are.

It's pretty handy for motorways. So, yeah, we've considered Lickey End before.

-And you've got your walks.

-Loads of walks round here.

And you've got a garden with a view. You overlook fields.

You've got your own decking so you can survey your land.

-It won't be your land, but it's your visual land.

-We can pretend.

-Yes.

-OK.

-Are you prepared to enter the wild card?

-Without a doubt.

-Let's do it.

-Three, two, one, enter Lickey End's wild card.

Oh, this is quite nice.

-Straight into the...

-Straight in.

Ha! No hall.

-I'd call it a hall area.

-Well, yes.

-There's a space..

-It's a futuristic seventies hall.

-Yeah.

Which I was. I was made in the seventies.

-Oh.

-This is a nice size.

-Nice burner, as well. I'm assuming that works.

-It's not bad.

-I like it. What have they done with the floor?

Have these been painted?

Cos it's not real floorboards, is it? Or it is?

-I've no idea.

-Couldn't tell you.

I walked in there and was a bit confused about the floorboard,

but when you go into the utility area, you see them slightly worn away,

so I think they are, they're just painted with a strange paint.

So they are real, but what is real, ladies and gentlemen? That's the question.

-OK.

-It hasn't quite got a hall, but it's still a space.

You could always put a door in there to make it a hall.

-You could. However, I quite like the fact that it's open.

-It's not bad.

-I want "oohs" and "aahs". This is my favourite part.

-The kitchen and dining room.

-So we've come into a kitchen.

-What have we got here, then?

OK.

-Kitchen, dining room.

-This is quite nice.

-I like this.

-Yep.

-Same floor all through.

-Yep.

So it's not a formal dining room as such, but it's quite nice that you're there.

You've got a breakfast bar.

-Ooh, this looks interesting!

-I'm quite excited by this space.

Ooh, look at the size of this!

I like this. I like the brickwork rather than it just being bare walls.

Kelly, by being so excited about that room, is planting her flag there

and saying, "Sprog, because you haven't said anything nice about this, this is mine.

-"And if you say you want this as your area, you'll make me unhappy."

-This is her study.

-Yes.

Yeah, this would be nice to work in.

-I like this.

-I thought you might do when I saw it.

-I like this.

-Views up the garden.

-The garden's not massive, is it?

I just wonder what there is upstairs.

-Bedroom-wise.

-Bedroom-wise.

-Because I'm wondering, might this be nicer as a type of snug area, as well.

-OK.

I can see room here,

if they had a fight about it, for an outside space.

-No banister.

-We need to get that sorted.

-While we're young, we're OK.

-Yeah, but remember the number of times I fell down ours to start off with.

-OK. Needs new doors throughout, I would say, wouldn't you?

-Yep.

What have we got? Ooh, see, now...

This would be plenty big enough for me as an office.

-Which means you could have a snug downstairs.

-That's true.

-It's whether you'd... I don't know.

-Whether you want to look out the front or the back.

I could do both, really. Cos it's not a bad view.

What's happening here is now, at the moment, Sprog hasn't got a room to live in in the house.

Because it would seem that Kelly's found another office. How dare she?

Ooh, now!

Spare bedroom, I'm assuming.

-Was there four bedrooms?

-Who knows?

Again, this is a nice size room. Do you know what I find a little bit odd?

-The windows are quite high up.

-Yeah.

-Mind you, at Elaine's, they're quite low.

-Yeah.

-Views of the garden.

-Ooh.

-And some fields.

-Fields out the back.

-That doesn't look bad.

Nope, he didn't do anything technical about the windows.

What I wanted Sprog to do was metaphorically suck a pencil and say,

"Kelly, love, in the window game, it's a tricky thing and the windows are this height because..."

OK, we've still got a load of doors here, so I wonder what we're into next.

She's turned it into a game show. Maybe she's caught that from To Brie Or Not To Brie. Great game.

Ooh. Another bedroom.

Looks like a boy's bedroom at the minute, perhaps.

Definitely getting there size-wise.

-Nice, large windows.

-This is it, they are still quite high up, obviously.

But, again, this is a good size for a spare bedroom.

This has got better views out over the field, which is quite nice.

-Very nice.

-We'll have to find out more about that field, though.

Bathroom!

-Fairly modern.

-Tiles look nice.

-They're not bad.

There's no shower, though, it's just a bath.

Yeah, just a bath.

-Bit small. Not what we're used to.

-No.

They are in Lickey End.

They're moving into a nicer postal code,

therefore, sometimes there might be a little bit of a compromise on space.

And now Kelly's saying this isn't that special.

-You can do your own specialising.

-Grrr! Grrr!

Ooh! These are the big windows that I liked.

-Now, for once, you can say, "It is light and airy".

-Light and airy, yeah.

I quite like this. It's not massive, though, it is?

-Not as big as I'd like.

-No.

-Seems strange, looking down at floor level through the windows.

-I know, I feel a bit dizzy.

I like it, though. I like the fact that it is so bright.

-It's almost a shame this room's at the front rather than the back.

-Yeah.

So you could be able to look out over the garden and the fields.

So, how wild was the wild card for you?

Definitely different. Not what I would be expecting.

As football managers often say in the post-match interview, it was a game of two halves.

I think it was a game of downstairs and upstairs.

-And the downstairs went very well.

-It certainly did.

We liked it, it was very open, it was just...

I liked it. I really liked the bit downstairs that I staked a claim on.

-Yes, you really did.

-I quite liked that.

-Then you also did it upstairs, as well.

-Absolutely, yeah.

-Yeah, upstairs... How did you feel?

-What were your reservations with the upstairs, Sprog?

I just felt that they were trying to cram too much in,

-trying to make it a four-bedroom instead of a decent three-bedroom.

-The builders in the seventies?

-Yeah.

-In terms of the garden, did you have a good look at your view?

-Ohh!

That would be really nice, to sit out on a nice summer's evening

and just have that field behind you. I think this feels nice in the garden.

-I want to tell you something about this land.

-Yes?

-It's Cadbury land.

-Ah!

-Which means...

-Made of chocolate.

-Which means you can't build on it?

-Well, you will need to verify and check that,

but according to the estate agent, it won't be built on.

-Brilliant.

-Do please check that.

-This is all fantastic news.

It can only become even more fantastic once we know one thing.

ALL: The price!

-So, whose turn is it to guess the price?

-Oh, I don't know.

-Ladies first.

-It's one-all, isn't it?

-Neck and neck.

-Oh, no, this is the decider. I'm going to go for £289,950.

-OK.

-I'm going to go for 285.

-Close.

-285.

The closest person and the winner of today's guess the price competition is...

-It's you.

-Yay!

-Kelly, well done.

-Commiserations, Sprog. But the actual price is £295,000.

-Ooh. OK.

-So that leaves you 30 grand to spend on the property.

-I think you'd have to wiggle a little bit.

-What do you want to wiggle them to?

-About 280, I would say.

-You might be able to wiggle them.

-That's reasonable.

-You could wiggle them further. Never know till you try.

You could wiggle in Lickey End. Would you like to go and make the biggest decision of your adult lives?

-We need a chat and a think.

-OK. Head down that way.

-Good luck. Choose wisely, won't you?

Whilst they wiggle in Lickey End, here's a chance for you to have a look at what we've seen so far.

'Will it be my property, number one, in Cofton Hackett?

'It had space, style, location and views, but Kelly's frog phobia

'meant she hardly dared step foot beyond the conservatory.

'And, at £349,950, it's above their budget.'

'Maybe they'll plump for my property, number two.

'OK, it wasn't love at first sight, but it's in Sprog's favourite village of Alvechurch

'and they'd have bags of cash to transform the tired decor,

'as it's on at a keenly priced £249,950.'

'Let's not forget the wild card, though. They didn't want boxy or modern, so we gave them both.

'But the interior allure and the rolling countryside on their doorstep won them over.'

'And it came in under-budget at 295 grand.'

Kelly and Sprog, you have chosen to test-drive

my one, which is a victory for me and, also, it's an internal victory for you,

-because I can see you tensing up.

-Frogs.

-Frogs.

-You have come back to the house with frogs.

-I know.

-Or potentially with frogs.

First question, why did you pick the house of frogs?

THEY LAUGH

-Why did we pick this one, Sprog?

-It's just a nicer looking house, more brick.

-He does like his brick.

-Better layout.

-OK.

We like the location. We liked the field in number three,

but I like the fact that it's looking out over the Lickey Hills.

Do you think a bit of cognitive behavioural therapy added to this could see you moving in here?

Well, I think I have to stop living my life ruled by frogs.

-THEY LAUGH

-And ruled by Sprog!

Yes. Now, we have had our mysterious surveyor come round and sniff round this house.

It's not a legally-binging survey, but it's a good heads-up if you wish to purchase.

-Nikki has the information.

-Just a couple of things. One is, you see that tree there?

-Yep.

-On a survey, the roots of that silver birch could show up as being a potential problem.

-OK.

Bear that in mind. The second thing is, the pointing,

around the chimney but mostly on the gables.

So that's something you're going to have to consider.

-OK.

-Other than that, he pulled up nothing.

-Are you ready to tuck your trousers into your socks and deal with the frogs?

-Yep.

Walk toward the house. It's your fault, this, right? Deal with the frogs.

Three, two, one, test drive that house!

'Don't tell me Kelly's fleeing the frogs already. She hasn't given it a chance!'

'Calm down, Ed, they're just collecting their canine companions, Oscar and Milo.'

'And just look at them. They love it, Nikki! Not a frog phobia in sight!'

Hey! Good lad!

-'But it's not only the house they're interested in, of course.'

-'No, it's the call of the wild.

'And what could be more natural than the sight of a Lycra-clad couple and their domesticated beasts

'hot-footing it in perfect harmony through the Lickey Hills?'

'And what better way to round off an energetic afternoon than exploring another must on their wish-list,

-'a great local boozer?'

-'And while it's all been too much for Milo,

'it looks like Oscar's lapping up the idea of a new life in the Lickeys.'

Sprog and Kelly, you're very, very important. Very, very important.

But I believe the most important pair are Oscar and Milo, is it?

-That's right, yeah.

-The dogs. Now, what have they thought, and most importantly,

how on earth have they communicated that to you?

If their tails wag a lot, then it's a good sign.

OK. And on the tail-wagging front thus far, how have we gone?

-I think we're probably about an eight or a nine out of ten.

-Wow!

-They've been wagging so much, they could've taken off.

-They've had a run round the garden, a sniff around.

I'm a bit worried there's a cat next door, but that can be entertainment for them.

-We aren't on the grass at the moment.

-Correct.

And it really is a big issue for you, frogs, isn't it?

I mean, we are giggling about it slightly, a lot,

but do you think you could get over it? I mean, is it something you would be prepared to do?

I think it's something I'm going to have to do.

Because if I want to live in the countryside, there's always the chance that there'll be a frog.

So I just think I need some professional help, really.

-Here, here!

-I'm with you, Sprog.

-That's very brave of you.

-Thank you very much.

-Yes.

-We are near the end.

-The question is, are we near the end of your house-hunting? Nikki, do you want to ask?

-Yes, please.

-To buy or not to buy?

-We're sitting on the fence. It's a maybe.

Everyone sits on the fence! I want to know why it's a maybe. Justify yourselves, please.

-The main reason is it's just slightly over our budget.

-Uh-huh.

-I think, if we can get that wiggle room in there, that would be a much stronger veer towards yes.

-OK.

-Good!

-All in all, we're very happy, I would say.

-Yeah! Are you happy?

-Yeah, we're really happy.

-And I think the dogs are also happy.

-Aww!

-If you buy this or any other house, please let us know.

-Certainly will.

-See you soon.

-Bye!

-Bye!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd