Pennod 4 Anita

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-Hi, guys!

-One month gone and guess what?

-Me and Mum

-are still here, in Moelfre...

-..and the weird family mash-up thing

-works really well.

-I'm still working in the Ship and

-Stan's landed that he hired me...

-..because it's mad busy there.

-Morning, campers!

-Mum got a job...

-..in an old people's home

-for Gog old people and she loves it.

-Anita, when you've finished,

-we'll have you back at work.

-But Christine, the Temporary Senior

-Caregiver is a pain in the butt.

-Mum goes to Stan's Welsh-speaking

-Club at the Ship every Wednesday.

-Stan wants to save the language but

-he also needs some more punters.

-That's Hippy Clive from Coventry...

-..and this dude is Cledwyn Wok

-from Llannerchymedd.

-He got his name coz

-he banged his head in the bath...

-..and forgot how to speak Welsh,

-but he's fluent in Cantonese!

-My name is Anita.

-My name is Clive, please.

-HE SPEAKS CANTONESE

-HE SPEAKS CANTONESE

-

-My name is...

-..Cledwyn.

-Wicked!

-Plus my sort-of-brother, Dyl, loves

-having a female vibe in the house.

-Vivs is like,

-"Heart attack? What heart attack?"

-Dei so loves Goodison

-and he takes her everywhere...

-..like Paris Hilton or something.

-Get a load of those two!

-Everyone really likes seeing them

-loving being together.

-Well, he's not feeling it yet.

-And neither is she.

-Moelfre Winter Fun Festival.

-Moelfre Winter Fun Festival...

-..is like Glastonbury, apparently.

-Who's in charge of the raffle?

-Who's in charge of the raffle?

-

-Me!

-Glastonbury with a raffle!

-Lleisiau'r Ynys, my choir,

-will sing.

-There's a poetry workshop.

-Oh.

-We need a celebrity

-to do the official opening.

-I could ask Elin Fflur to do it...

-..or Rhun ap Iorwerth.

-Let's have someone who isn't local.

-Let's have a change this year.

-Someone like Ronaldo...

-..or Hogia'r Wyddfa.

-I can ask around, Eirian.

-I tell you who I knows

-who's really nice is H from Steps.

-What? H from Steps?

-I love H from Steps!

-H from Steps's Auntie Claire

-was in the home with us in Cardiff.

-Not Claire from Steps!

-His Auntie Claire.

-H from Steps? Whoever opens

-the festival must speak Welsh.

-H from Steps speaks Welsh.

-He's making the effort to learn.

-Do you mean H as in Edward H?

-Who?

-He doesn't sound Welsh to me.

-H from Steps did

-a prize-giving thing at my school.

-But that was a Welsh school

-in Cardiff!

-A Welsh speaker

-would be useless there.

-Please, Eirian.

-Let's vote on it.

-Raise your hand if you want

-H from Steps to open the festival.

-Who's against it?

-I'd better go to work.

-If you want an extra item,

-we did this in the home in Cardiff.

-We had a Daftest Hat Competition.

-They loves that.

-Anyway. Cheerio.

-Anyway. Cheerio.

-

-See you.

-It's not a good idea.

-It's not a good idea.

-

-Write it down.

-Any more thrilling ideas,

-like that one?

-Dei and I will build the stocks

-and the Bat A Rat.

-Thank you, Beds.

-Thank you, Beds.

-

-Yes! Bat A Rat.

-Can we use real rats this year?

-Jools and I will serve the Strumpy.

-Jools and I will serve the Strumpy.

-

-Yeah! Serve the what?

-Stanley's scrumpy.

-I spent ages thinking of a name.

-It was between Stancrump,

-Crumpstan, Scrumpley...

-..Strampy,

-Stanley's Sensational Scrumpy...

-..Stanley's Scrumptious...

-..Stanley's Scrumptious...

-

-Anyway!

-I do henna tattoos, please.

-I do henna tattoos, please.

-

-Excellent, Clive.

-Dylan will do his usual thing.

-What about Best Dressed Pet?

-Let's have Animals Of The World

-as a theme.

-They can wear an outfit

-from their country.

-Like Miss World?

-Like Miss World?

-

-We can have a catwalk and lights.

-What about music?

-Too much?

-This is the day room in here.

-She'll be fine. Don't worry.

-Anita, take Mrs Jones. Gotta finish

-all this paperwork with them.

-Come on.

-Hello, love. Alright?

-Hello, love. Alright?

-

-Do you speak Welsh, my love?

-A little bit.

-First things first.

-How about a cup of tea?

-What's your name?

-What's your name?

-

-Winnie.

-Wins, this is Mike

-and that's Sylvia.

-Here you are, flower.

-Here you are, flower.

-

-Thank you, Anita.

-Nothing beats a nice cuppa.

-Nothing beats a nice cuppa.

-

-Nothing at all.

-Listen!

-I'm learning Welsh.

-I'm not fluent yet...

-..but I want to be fluent,

-just like Winnie Jones.

-Winnie Jones is the real deal.

-The real deal

-is y deal real in Welsh!

-Speak Welsh to me all the time, OK?

-Alright, sweetie.

-Where's the matron, Anita?

-She was a really kind lady.

-That's why we chose this home.

-That woman wasn't here last time.

-Matron's on holiday.

-BEDWYR CLEARS HIS THROAT

-Hiya, babes! Oh, look who it is!

-Hiya, babes! Oh, look who it is!

-

-You forgot your lunch.

-Thank you, babes.

-What would I do without her?

-Fe - him. Fi - me.

-Fe-fi-fo-fum! What is it again?

-Who's this young man, Anita?

-Is he your husband?

-Dear me, no! Well, not yet at least.

-Probably never, but you never know.

-Stop talking, Bedwyr!

-Stop talking, Bedwyr!

-

-Have you just arrived?

-Yes. My house got too big for me.

-I travelled here

-all the way from Marian-glas.

-I wish I knew why I was laughing!

-No personal visits please, Anita.

-I need her in her room in a minute

-to do the form.

-Her? Winnie?

-The one with a name?

-A poetry workshop,

-at the Fun Festival? What rubbish!

-Scary Magi told me that Eirian's

-choir practises are hard work.

-Eirian made them sing

-for so long last week...

-..poor Carys Wheelbarrow

-had a blackout.

-Are you looking forward to it?

-Are you looking forward to it?

-

-Yes. I can't wait.

-Your granddad would be happy

-to know you've taken his place...

-..to keep

-the family tradition going.

-I didn't want to do it last year

-and I don't want to do it this year.

-I look like a lemon.

-That's the whole point, isn't it?

-Looking like a lemon

-makes me feel like a lemon.

-I've done it for six years.

-Ooh.

-Did you watch the Champions League?

-Brilliant!

-No. I don't want to talk about it.

-The old girl looks lovely

-today, Dei, fair play.

-I hadn't noticed.

-Look, Dei.

-I know things have been difficult

-but things are settling down now.

-Anita and I have...

-Anita and I have...

-

-It's nothing like you and her.

-Maybe not, but I was just saying...

-Did Anita cock her leg

-on your remote control?

-I'm deeply offended, Goodison!

-It'll take something huge

-to make me smile again.

-Yes! Crisps.

-Thank you, Jools.

-Look at this!

-Hey, Sylv, that's nice!

-Very good. Beautiful.

-Hiya, Wins. How's it going, babes?

-Hiya, Wins. How's it going, babes?

-

-Alright, my love, thank you.

-I'm going as a toilet roll.

-Genius!

-How did you sleep last night?

-How did you sleep last night?

-

-I slept like a boar in barley.

-Is that good or bad? Or German?

-Hi, guys.

-Hi, guys.

-

-Hi, blodyn tatws.

-I loves blodyn tatws -

-potato flower.

-Winnie, this is Jools.

-She's my daughter.

-How are you, my dear?

-How are you, my dear?

-

-Fine, thanks.

-Jools is first-language.

-Best thing I ever did

-was send her up the Welsh school.

-Your sandwiches.

-Your sandwiches.

-

-Thanks, babes.

-Did you knit that, Winnie?

-It's lush.

-Winnie's going to the festival

-as a bog roll.

-It's crocheted.

-It's crocheted.

-

-I've had an amazing idea.

-Winnie, can you crochet ponchos?

-I could give it a go.

-A poncho for you?

-A poncho for you?

-

-Well... um.

-Aren't we popular, Anita?

-More visitors today?

-I told you yesterday

-about personal visits.

-Tell her Jools is here to visit me.

-Tell her Jools is here to visit me.

-

-You can tell me, Mrs Jones.

-You don't have to speak in code.

-I beg your pardon?

-Why can't she tell me in English,

-so that we can all understand?

-Uh-oh!

-Weird, innit?

-Here's Winnie, in her 80s, lived in

-the same house all these years.

-Massive life change,

-different surroundings.

-A bit confused, a bit disorientated.

-What are you? Late 30s, early 40s?

-Professional woman.

-Got all your faculties, lived on

-this island for 15, 20 years.

-Yet Winnie's got more English than

-you've got Welsh. How's that then?

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-Subtitles

-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-I am so gonna lose my job.

-I couldn't help it.

-I came over all Dafydd Iwan.

-It was so worth it.

-You were awesome.

-She proper kicked ass!

-They won't sack you.

-The old people love you.

-That Christine had it coming,

-the jolpan.

-Jolpan? What's that?

-Jolpan. A stupid girl.

-Someone like Tracy Barlow

-on Corrie.

-Oh! Or Debbie on Pobol y Cwm.

-Oh! Or Debbie on Pobol y Cwm.

-

-No, she's more of a hulpan.

-A hulpan?

-How about Joan Collins on Dynasty?

-How about Joan Collins on Dynasty?

-

-She's a jadan.

-So we've got

-jolpan, hulpan and jadan?

-That is insult gold, babes!

-Here he is! Are you ready for it?

-Get your costume on.

-I'm not doing it.

-I'm not doing it.

-

-What? Why not?

-It makes me feel like a lemon.

-It makes me feel like a lemon.

-

-Yes, and we all understand that.

-It's a family tradition, Dyl.

-So what?

-Anyone could be in that costume.

-Nobody knows it's me.

-I can't wait to see you

-in your costume, please.

-Get yourself dressed.

-Good luck today.

-Dyl, are you ready?

-The thing is, babes, you've got to

-wear this costume with pride.

-It's not

-the outfit of your dreams...

-..like me when I was Auntie Vicky's

-bridesmaid, dressed in brown.

-Brown - really? But I did it.

-Hold your head high, walk with

-confidence and knock 'em dead.

-Stunnin'.

-High five.

-Well done, Goodison.

-The eye of the tiger, please.

-# Tomorrow is another

-# Day #

-Without further ado, please welcome

-our very special guest.

-He's a hard man to pin down,

-but I succeeded in the end.

-Hulpan!

-Please welcome the singer

-from Steps, H from Steps!

-Hello, everybody!

-Thank you, Eirian

-and thank you for the welcome.

-I'm delighted to be here.

-When my old friend, Anita, phoned me

-I couldn't refuse.

-You're very lucky

-to have her here, among you.

-I can't wait

-to have a go at Bat A Rat!

-Yeah! Yeah!

-It gives me great pleasure...

-..to declare that

-Moelfre Winter Fun Festival is open.

-Dei, how's the Bat A Rat going?

-Dei, how's the Bat A Rat going?

-

-Not bad.

-I haven't hit it yet.

-Have you made lots of money?

-Have you made lots of money?

-

-No.

-Have you let someone else have a go?

-Have you let someone else have a go?

-

-No.

-Two more.

-You're thirsty, girls!

-You weren't in Eirian's rehearsals.

-We need something to numb us!

-Stanley, now!

-There you go. And another one.

-Hello, H.

-I used to love Steps and your...

-Brilliant!

-You probably want to get this

-over and done with and get out.

-Don't worry what you say

-about their stupid hats.

-Half of them

-don't understand English.

-H, this is Christine.

-She's an old cow.

-Talking about me

-behind my back again.

-Yeah, that's right.

-Yeah.

-What's this? Hangover Four -

-Lleisiau'r Ynys Go Wild.

-It's the Dolwen effect!

-I'm going to ask Eirian

-to hold her rehearsals in my pub.

-I'd be a millionaire

-in a fortnight!

-Dyl, is that Melangell over there?

-I don't know.

-I don't know.

-

-Yes. She's naming the ferret.

-Is that why

-you refused to do the thing?

-No.

-Yes.

-You don't want to look like

-a total clonker in front of her.

-Jools, hurry up!

-Jools, hurry up!

-

-OK, keep your hair on.

-STOCKS THIS WAY!

-Remind me to get a selfie with you

-before you go, H.

-Mr H, will you sponge or be sponged?

-I'll go in look, H.

-I fancy being sponged down

-by a TV celebrity.

-There you are!

-I've been looking for you.

-I had a word with Matron to give her

-the low-down on how things went.

-She's back first thing Monday and

-she wants to see you in her office.

-Nine o'clock sharp.

-I wonder what she wants.

-Come on then, H. Do your damnedest.

-Right then.

-Can you believe it? Look, Mam!

-Well done, son.

-Two, please.

-Two, please.

-

-Yes... no.

-Pardon?

-Nain told me your grandfather

-did this years ago and he was funny.

-Yes, he did. He was.

-It's fantastic that you do it now.

-It must mean a lot

-to your grandmother.

-Are you staying for the party later?

-Are you staying for the party later?

-

-Um.

-Cool. See you there.

-Did she win?

-Did she win?

-

-No, she came second.

-She was robbed.

-At least I won a sack of swedes

-in Name The Ferret.

-Awesome! What did you call it?

-Bedwyr.

-Bedwyr.

-

-Bedwyr. Yeah, obvs.

-If I had to name the winners,

-like Eirian Dolwen...

-..it would go like this.

-First prize for being A Hulpan

-Jolpan Jadan Sguthan - Christine.

-She's a triple threat.

-She disrespects

-Mum, Winnie and the Welsh language.

-First prize for Teamwork For

-The Under 80s - Dylan and Vivs.

-They were both winners today.

-Goodison will always be

-a first prize for Dei...

-..even if she does

-wee on remote controls.

-But my mum

-was the supreme champion...

-..for not whacking Christine

-in the face with a sponge.

-She's better than that.

-She'll probably get sacked though.

-Something to cheer you up.

-Sometimes, you must lose something

-to win something else.

-I don't know.

-I've had some of Stan's Strumpy.

-This may be the Strumpy talking...

-..but I think even Eirian Dolwen

-is a winner today.

-Moelfre Winter Fun Festival

-was unforgettable.

-# The girl down by the sea #

-S4C subtitles by Eirlys A Jones

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