Pennod 3 Dim Byd


Pennod 3

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Transcript


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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-Cut!

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-Mic's in the shot.

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-Oh!

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-Do you know what you're doing?

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-OK, everyone makes mistakes.

-Back in place.

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-He's hopeless. Come on, Mic.

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-He's hopeless. Come on, Mic.

-

-Try getting it right this time!

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-I want to go home to see Gogglebox.

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-Oh, right, you're there!

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-Ah ha ha!

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-What are you trying to do?

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-The next game is Eistedd-i-fod.

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-Competing is the Llanuwchllyn poet,

-Gruffudd Antur.

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-Druids, please put

-the Chair in place.

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-Off we go.

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-THE WELSH CUBE. Local celebs

-have a go at games and quizzes.

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-As you rejoin us...

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-..Davies is ahead

-by five to three...

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-..as we prepare for the ninth frame.

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-The sheep are in place.

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-The referee...

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-THE WELSH CUBE AND ASS POET

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-A notch cut three-quarters

-of the way down, on both sides.

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-Slice through?

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-Yes.

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-Rich!

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-How are things? It's been ages.

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-What's this?

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-I didn't know you had a chainsaw.

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-I didn't know you had a chainsaw.

-

-Yes.

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-For how long have you had it?

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-For how long have you had it?

-

-Three months.

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-Look! Pretty.

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-Is it behaving?

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-Yes, on the whole.

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-A bit of trouble with the teeth.

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-That will come.

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-I haven't seen you for ages.

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-The so-and-so

-is nothing but trouble.

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-You've got that to come!

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-Enjoy.

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-COMMENTATOR CHUCKLES

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-Davies entertains the audience.

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-Morgan hasn't had a chance

-to do anything much in this frame.

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-Davies put quite a lot

-of spin on the yellow.

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-APPLAUSE

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-He hides it marvellously

-behind the pink.

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-The referee checks

-it's not touching.

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-The black is over the pocket.

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-When you think of a zoo,

-what comes to mind?

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-Wcw!

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-You wouldn't dare go on Sunday!

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-It's the night of the big supper.

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-Head butler Mr Hughes wants it

-to go like clockwork.

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-He has assembled all the servants to

-go over the evening's arrangements.

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-May I have your attention?

-You're all aware of your duties.

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-Lord and Lady Melford

-will arrive at 5.00pm promptly.

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-Elspeth, I want the house clean

-from top to bottom.

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-Yes, sir.

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-Mr Rees, the best dishes

-and entertainment.

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-Yes, sir.

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-Mrs Morgan,

-I expect chicken in cream.

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-To follow, Blodwen's Cream Lagoon.

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-Everyone clear?

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-What are you waiting for?

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-Yes, sir.

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-CONFUSED CHATTER

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-Do you want to go over there?

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-The crew took up

-the challenge three days ago...

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-..of living as Victorian servants

-in the smallest house in Britain.

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-Shame on Father Maximillian,

-for throwing you off Max Factor!

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-You sang better than all the rest.

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-I knew he didn't get it

-when he talked to Angharad Mair.

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-Max!

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-Max!

-

-Hello.

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-It's you, Jean. How are you?

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-What have you done to Fflur?

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-She's heartbroken.

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-She's heartbroken.

-

-I had no choice!

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-Her sol-fa was all over the place.

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-You've shattered her dreams.

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-I realize that.

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-To be honest, I've been thinking.

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-I'm scrapping the programme.

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-How does that sound?

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-How does that sound?

-

-Seriously?

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-I'll go back to the drawing board

-and think of something else.

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-You're good, Max, fair play.

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-Anything to please Jean Glanrafon!

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-LAUGHTER

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-LAUGHTER

-

-I've always said Max is good.

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-Now, in person...

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-..Saunders Lewis!

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-I shall presuppose that the

-figures shortly to be published...

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-..will shock and disappoint

-those of us who think...

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-..that Wales...

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-SMALL HOUSE AND ACT YOUR AGE

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-Where the hell have you been?

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-Where the hell have you been?

-

-What do you mean?

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-It's 6.45pm. You finish at 5.00pm.

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-I was called to a meeting.

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-A meeting, my arse.

-You've been to the pub.

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-I haven't been near the pub!

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-I haven't been near the pub!

-

-Don't lie! I wasn't born yesterday.

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-There's your supper.

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-There's your supper.

-

-What is it?

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-The rest of yesterday's mince,

-with onions.

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-Oh!

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-Remember it's bins night.

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-God, I just sat down.

-Let me just eat my supper, woman!

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-Not now. I'm just

-reminding you it's today.

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-OK, I'll do it now!

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-Not now. Just sit down.

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-Stuff you, I'll do it now!

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-Stuff you, I'll do it now!

-

-Sit down!

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-How hard are they finding the work?

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-It's not easy.

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-But it makes you realize

-what life was like in the old times.

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-How is Mr Hughes?

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-He takes it seriously.

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-It's only a TV programme.

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-How is supper coming along,

-Mrs Morgan?

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-I'm preparing the veg, Mr Hughes.

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-As Mrs Morgan prepares the feast,

-Elspeth tackles the cleaning.

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-COUGHS

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-Sorry, Mrs Morgan.

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-It's alright, love.

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-She tries not to interrupt.

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-Eifionydd Farmers

-have nice ear protectors.

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-They're beige plastic,

-with velvet lining.

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-Nice.

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-They're only 19.

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-They're only 19.

-

-Not bad, actually.

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-Can't go wrong with that price.

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-Can't go wrong with that price.

-

-No.

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-Damn!

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-There you are!

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-Oh!

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-There you are.

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-He has a chance...

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-..with the reds

-over the middle pocket.

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-No, nothing.

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-Poop, shit, bugger, bra.

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-# They're mute #

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-We're huge fans of Aled Samuel.

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-Ho ho ho ho.

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-Right, boys. Max doesn't want

-to do a talent programme.

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-We have to find

-a new format for Max Factor.

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-Soon.

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-Oh, god.

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-Does anyone have an idea?

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-What about tractors?

-We could call it Tractor Factor.

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-It could be a competition

-to find the best tractor.

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-Original.

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-The winner gets a new tractor.

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-The winner gets a new tractor.

-

-Has it got legs?

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-Legs? On a tractor?

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-Legs? On a tractor?

-

-Forget it!

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-We've nothing to lose.

-Might as well give it a go.

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-WHERE IS GOBLIN?

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-WHERE IS GOBLIN?

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-WHERE IS GOBLIN?

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-WHERE IS GOBLIN?

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-FARM KITCHEN AND LANGUAGE SEWER

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-Nothing beats tea and a cupcake.

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-And a red velvet cupcake

-goes down a treat.

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-Many people worry

-about tackling red velvet.

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-But with a little patience,

-it will turn out champion.

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-Heat the oven

-to 180 degrees Celsius.

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-Fill the bun tray with baking cups.

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-I'm using Cath Kidston cups.

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-Put 60 grams butter in a bowl.

-Add 150 grams caster sugar.

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-MIXER WHIRRS

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-BLEEPS

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-Mix at a low speed...

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-..until it's light and fluffy.

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-Ah! ****!

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-Mr Hughes the butler is busy

-the other end of the house.

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-Irfon the farmer

-has reached for his mandolin.

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-What the hell is going on?

-You should be working.

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-Lord and Lady Melford

-arrive in two hours. Do something!

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-Sorry.

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-CONFUSED CHATTER

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-CONFUSED CHATTER

-

-Sorry.

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-So Wales is ahead.

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-Lisa was lucky enough to catch up

-with coach Robin McBryde.

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-Congratulations. You must

-be delighted with the result.

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-Thanks. It was

-a special performance.

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-The boys played well.

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-We had three points

-in the first game. Marvellous.

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-What is it like to head the group?

-You must be very happy.

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-Yes, very happy.

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-On the basis of that performance,

-we'll win the championship.

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-Are you speaking too soon?

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-Not at all.

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-Really, now.

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-I think you're speaking too soon.

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-I think you're speaking too soon.

-

-No.

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-Seventy grams of plain flour.

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-Mix it.

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-Jesus ****!

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-I haven't bloody sieved it.

-Doesn't matter.

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-Next, add half a teaspoon

-of bicarbonate of soda.

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-BLEEPS

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-And a spoonful...

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-THE FARM KITCHEN.

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-Recipes for luxury meals

-with farmer Gwyn B*** Thomas.

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-CEFN GWLAD SNOOKER AND POTTING

0:10:140:10:17

-Morgan checks the scores.

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-He sees that he needs

-the pink and black...

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-..to be equal.

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-I'm not sure.

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-The referee has seen something.

-Yes, it's a foul.

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-Morgan insists it's not his dog.

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-Does S4C have a future?

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-RIVER WALKS AND SEA ZOO WRESTLING

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-Let the cakes cool for a while.

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-Ah!

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-BLEEPS

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-Then add a topping of your choice.

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-BLEEPS

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-What a job.

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-Strawberries,

-pecans or blackberries.

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-Mm.

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-They're good, lads.

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-They are.

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-It will be nothing less

-than a revolution...

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-..to restore the Welsh

-language in Wales.

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-Success is only possible

-through revolutionary methods.

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-SOUND OF CHAINSAW

0:11:350:11:37

-Oh.

0:11:390:11:40

-Oh.

0:11:430:11:44

-Oh.

0:11:450:11:46

-Oh!

0:11:510:11:52

-I've no issue with any of you.

-You're all my friends.

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-That makes what I have to say

-all the more difficult.

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-The one who is leaving

-Tractor Factor forever is...

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-..Ifor.

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-..Ifor.

-

-I was sure he'd say me.

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-Sorry, Ifor. You had two bald tyres

-and the cab was full of pastry.

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-What do you know about tractors?

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-I was driving tractors

-when you were in nappies.

0:12:300:12:33

-Don't argue with me. The judges'

-word is final. That's all for now.

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-Come back after the break.

0:12:380:12:41

-.

0:12:430:12:44

-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-Welcome to the programme.

-This week, my head is in the clouds.

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-I'm skydiving in this

-new Manchester attraction.

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-Rhodri will be speeding along

-the Menai on a special boat.

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-Amazing.

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-And I, Kelvin off Rownd A Rownd...

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-..discovers what happens to our

-poo-poo after it leaves our bodies.

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-But first...

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-That's why we come to the pub.

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-Jabas used to be yanked

-in front of Groucho.

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-In fact, Owain Gwilym was often

-yanked in front of the headmaster.

0:13:300:13:34

-Lord and Lady Melford are due back

-in less than three hours.

0:13:360:13:40

-Mrs Morgan isn't having much luck

-with plucking the hen for dinner.

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-It's no help that Mr Rees has

-decided to rehearse the trombone.

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-I'm slightly stressed, trying

-to do last minute preparations.

0:13:570:14:02

-It'll be alright.

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-Sorry.

0:14:040:14:06

-If you've just joined us...

0:14:110:14:15

-..rain has stopped play.

0:14:150:14:18

-It's a chance for the players

-to share a cake or two.

0:14:190:14:24

-It's nice to see in this game.

0:14:300:14:35

-The players are...

0:14:360:14:37

-Mr Wigli And His Friends.

0:14:380:14:40

-Jambo. Dave Wigli. The main mo-fo.

0:14:420:14:45

-This is an essay about the time

-I saved the day in The 'Diff.

0:14:460:14:51

-Everything was sweet. I dropped

-in on the homeboy AM, Alun Ffred...

0:14:510:14:56

-..aka the Ffredstinator.

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-I rang the bell. Who comes to the

-door, all bandaged up, but Ffred.

0:14:590:15:04

-**** me Ffred,

-what's the score with the bandage?

0:15:040:15:08

-Yo, Dave. We're ****ed. I'm supposed

-to do a speech in the Senedd.

0:15:090:15:13

-I've got a massive toothache.

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-WTF.

0:15:160:15:17

-The heat was on.

-So I came up with a plan.

0:15:180:15:22

-I grabbed the Ffredster's bad tooth

-and wiggled, and wiggled...

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-..and ****ing wiggled.

0:15:280:15:31

-The next thing, kabush.

-Tooth out, no stress.

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-Marked it, said Ffred.

0:15:350:15:37

-I can go to the Senedd...

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-..and lay down the mix with

-the head honchos on the new measure.

0:15:390:15:43

-The pulse of the jive?

0:15:440:15:46

-No pain, no gain. Simple as.

0:15:460:15:48

-It's amazing

-that what you have there...

0:15:490:15:52

-..is not the poo-poo of just

-one person, but everyone in town.

0:15:520:15:57

-Amazing.

0:15:580:16:00

-With so much poo...

0:16:000:16:02

-SBLAT! Sian, Rhodri and Kelvin's

-adventures all over the country.

0:16:020:16:07

-Come here IB, follow me, boy.

0:16:070:16:10

-I'm wearing gloves.

0:16:110:16:13

-# Caravan on fire #

0:16:130:16:17

-REFLECTIONS AND LOOK WHO IT IS

0:16:170:16:19

-I'm Meinir Gwilym.

0:16:200:16:21

-What I've brought to the mirror

-is a handful of cable ties.

0:16:210:16:25

-A handful of cable ties.

0:16:270:16:29

-A handful...

0:16:300:16:32

-With more of us

-leading busy lives...

0:16:320:16:35

-..a North Wales minister has made

-it possible to marry on Skype.

0:16:350:16:39

-It's vital to keep up

-with technology.

0:16:400:16:43

-This service to busy couples proves

-the Church is moving with the times.

0:16:430:16:48

-Do you take this woman as your wife?

0:16:490:16:51

-I do.

0:16:520:16:53

-It is my pleasure to now

-pronounce them husband and wife.

0:16:540:16:58

-Can the congregation please stand.

0:16:580:17:02

-GOD KNOWS AND LORD'S BEEN FRAMED

0:17:020:17:06

-Jesus Christ, are you still in bed?

-Get up, for God's sake.

0:17:080:17:12

-Sorry for using my name in vain.

-Look how sunny I made it! Come on.

0:17:120:17:17

-I'm knackered.

0:17:190:17:20

-I'm knackered.

-

-You should go to bed earlier.

0:17:200:17:22

-Why is it that when you send me

-to bed...

0:17:240:17:27

-..I'm wide awake...

0:17:270:17:29

-..but I'm knackered in the morning?

0:17:300:17:32

-Why didn't you make the day

-the other way round?

0:17:330:17:37

-If you started the day at night...

0:17:370:17:39

-..in the morning, when people are

-still tired, they could stay in bed.

0:17:390:17:44

-It wouldn't be early morning

-but early night.

0:17:450:17:48

-People who are wide awake at bedtime

-could get up...

0:17:480:17:53

-..because the day is just starting.

0:17:540:17:56

-Be quiet.

-Turn that into lush for your Dad.

0:17:570:18:01

-Yes, it's a Friday night.

-Time for Bear Fruit.

0:18:010:18:05

-Here's the man himself,

-Iestyn Garlick.

0:18:050:18:09

-Yes, welcome to Bear Fruit...

0:18:120:18:14

-..where you have to be bananas

-to avoid looking like a lemon.

0:18:140:18:19

-Let's meet the people who are

-coconuts enough to take part.

0:18:190:18:24

-Lisa Jen.

0:18:240:18:26

-Dyl Mei.

0:18:270:18:29

-Catrin Mara.

0:18:290:18:30

-I'm not sure what Morgan has seen.

0:18:320:18:36

-He's asked the referee

-to wipe the hairs off the dog.

0:18:400:18:45

-Morgan needs the next two frames

-to stay in the game.

0:18:480:18:52

-The blue looks... hello!

-What's this?

0:18:540:18:59

-There's always one

-who wants to spoil the day.

0:19:000:19:05

-Morgan and the referee

-hurry him along.

0:19:070:19:10

-I'm sorry if this spoils your fun.

0:19:130:19:15

-The tasks are given

-every care and attention.

0:19:160:19:19

-With no time to spare...

0:19:210:19:23

-..supper is ready

-for Lord and Lady Melford.

0:19:240:19:28

-My Lord, Ma'am. Roast chicken.

0:19:290:19:31

-My Lord, Ma'am. Roast chicken.

-

-Beautiful.

0:19:310:19:33

-Who cooked that?

0:19:330:19:35

-Mrs Morgan.

0:19:360:19:37

-Breast or leg, madam?

0:19:380:19:39

-Breast or leg, madam?

-

-A little bit of breast.

0:19:390:19:42

-CUTLERY FALLS

0:19:430:19:44

-Oh, bugger. Could we have

-everybody out, please...

0:19:440:19:48

-..so his Lordship can bend over

-to pick up his fork?

0:19:480:19:52

-The servants are used to being

-in this situation.

0:19:540:19:58

-Behind me,

-there is an affordable car.

0:19:590:20:03

-Listen, I have a film here...

0:20:030:20:09

-Llyr Evans.

0:20:090:20:10

-Llyr Evans.

-

-You say Llyr?

0:20:100:20:12

-Let's see.

0:20:120:20:13

-Can we reveal who bore fruit?

0:20:140:20:16

-It's Catrin Mara!

0:20:190:20:22

-Blindfolds back on and on we go.

0:20:230:20:26

-It was time to head home,

-exhausted but happy.

0:20:260:20:30

-There's only one way to finish

-such a special day - with a selfie.

0:20:300:20:36

-Wow! That looked amazing.

0:20:400:20:42

-Wow! That looked amazing.

-

-Sian, I had a brilliant time.

0:20:420:20:45

-I got wet, but it was spot on.

0:20:460:20:49

-How did you get on

-with all those turds, Kelvin?

0:20:490:20:52

-Very well. I had no idea

-poo was so interesting.

0:20:530:20:56

-That's all for today.

0:20:570:20:58

-Next week, one of Wales's most

-exciting mountain bike courses.

0:20:580:21:03

-Ah!

0:21:030:21:04

-Though I'm not a sports fan...

0:21:050:21:07

-..I go inside the Theatre Of Dreams,

-the Manchester United ground.

0:21:080:21:13

-I might even see Ryan Giggs' legs!

0:21:130:21:16

-And I, Kelvin off Rownd A Rownd...

0:21:160:21:19

-..will move two tons

-of cow dung across the yard.

0:21:190:21:23

-Until then, goodbye!

0:21:230:21:25

-WHERE IS GOBLIN?

0:21:260:21:29

-WHERE IS GOBLIN?

0:21:310:21:34

-WHERE IS GOBLIN?

0:21:340:21:37

-WHERE IS GOBLIN?

0:21:440:21:46

-Is it comfortable?

0:21:470:21:49

-It is!

0:21:500:21:52

-BEAR FRUIT AND HOLD YOUR APPLE

0:21:520:21:55

-If Davies gets this in,

-it'll be a terrific end. It's in!

0:22:020:22:07

-That has to be one of the best

-we've seen in the competition.

0:22:080:22:12

-She jumps in.

0:22:130:22:16

-Brilliant.

0:22:180:22:19

-Morgan takes off his cap.

0:22:190:22:21

-GOD KNOWS AND LORD'S BEEN FRAMED

0:22:220:22:24

-Maybe the little devil has a point.

0:22:240:22:28

-Did you see Dim Byd?

0:22:310:22:32

-Did you see Dim Byd?

-

-Yes.

0:22:320:22:33

-And?

0:22:340:22:35

-What?

0:22:350:22:36

-What?

-

-What did you think?

0:22:360:22:38

-OK.

0:22:380:22:39

-Hmm. Not as good tonight.

0:22:400:22:41

-Hmm. Not as good tonight.

-

-No.

0:22:410:22:42

-The sheep snogging was good though.

0:22:440:22:47

-Sorry, sheep snooker!

0:22:470:22:49

-HA! HA! OUT!

0:22:490:22:50

-DON'T SHOW THAT TO ANYONE!!!

0:22:500:22:52

-DON'T SHOW THAT TO ANYONE!!!

-

-I'm dead!

0:22:520:22:54

-OMG! I want to die!

0:22:540:22:56

-S4C Subtitles by Gwead

0:22:580:23:00

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