Pennod 16 Hansh


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-I'm a bit scared.

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-I've come to Cardiff, the big city.

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-There are cars everywhere.

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-It's nothing like Caernarfon

-or Deiniolen.

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-I'm in the old immigration building.

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-Scary.

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-I'm going ghost hunting.

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-Ghost Hunting

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-Right, let's do it.

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-Spooky.

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-Hello?

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-Let's have a scout.

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-This place is really creepy.

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-What the **** was that?

-****'s sake! ******* scary.

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-It's more creepy

-than when I interviewed Casi Wyn!

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-Hello?

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-I'm meant to be meeting a

-ghost hunter here somewhere. Scary.

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-Every building is scary really.

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-What the **** is that? ****head!

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-You're the ghost?

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-No, I'm the ghost hunter.

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-What do you do when you find one?

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-I talk to them. Ask questions.

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-Like a chat show.

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-What are we doing?

-Talking to ghosts?

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-Here we go. Hello!

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-Is anyone there

-apart from me and Debra?

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-Nothing.

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-Let's go home.

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-Are you doing anything tonight?

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-Fancy a pint?

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-You don't drink. Fancy a curry?

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-Let's look for ghosts.

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-You're right. Serious working heads

-on now. Let's find the ghosts.

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-After you.

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-OK, Gareth...

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-OK, Gareth...

-

-OK, Debs?

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-Sorry, carry on.

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-If you speak,

-the spirit will answer.

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-One knock for yes, two for no.

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-I don't know what to ask.

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-If it's easier,

-pretend you're doing the chat show.

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-I'll try.

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-Hello and welcome to Gareth,

-my chat show, with me, Gareth.

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-I'm here today

-with Debs and a ghost.

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-How are you? Alright?

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-Knock once for yes.

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-****ing hell! Pineapple ****!

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-Have you played Maes B?

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-These knocks are really scary.

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-Knock once if you're happy.

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-TWO KNOCKS

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-TWO KNOCKS

-

-What does that mean?!

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-This is harder

-than interviewing Casi Wyn.

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-Are we going for a curry now?

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-No. We're going to the

-most haunted room in the building.

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-Gareth.

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-Gareth.

-

-No.

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-# Going up creepy stairs with Debs #

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-It's really scary. No.

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-We'll go for a curry after it.

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-I have a hot date with Debs.

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-She's a bit creepy.

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-But I like that.

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-I'm here with Debs,

-my new girlfriend.

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-She's going to show me

-this spirit thing. What is it?

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-Ouija?

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-Ouija board.

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-Ouija. It's a good way

-of contacting spirits.

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-They can then communicate...

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-Gareth!

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-Sorry. Tell us

-about the Ouija board.

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-Put your hand here.

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-Is there anyone out there?

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-GARETH BREAKS WIND

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-Sorry.

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-It's moving by itself.

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-It's saying 'yes'.

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-Do you like Gladiators?

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-The film or the series?

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-The TV series.

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-I don't.

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-'No' is there! You don't have

-to spell it out and waste time.

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-You must be patient.

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-You need patience with this ghost.

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-Who's your favourite Gladiator?

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-Russell...

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-Oh, Russell Crowe

-from the Gladiator film.

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-This ghost has a sense of humour.

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-Are you on Twitter?

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-I've just finished

-my first ghost hunt.

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-I spoke to a ghost.

-I asked him if he's played Maes B.

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-I spoke about Gladiator. A bit of

-bants about the Welsh music scene.

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-It's been a laugh.

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-Shush! What's that?

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-KNOCKING

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-Shush!

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-There's a real ghost here!

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-Sorry. I was looking for my bag.

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-You scared the **** out of me.

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-I was sure you were Casi Wyn

-for a minute.

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-Who the **** is Casi Wyn?

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-The gothic songstress.

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-The pop diva from Bethel.

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-The indie pop darling.

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-Lewis Yr Eira's sister.

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-Oh, Heledd Ynyr from Porthpenwaig!

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-Yes, classic Casi Wyn.

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-Curry?

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-Yes.

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-Flour

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-Baking powder

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-Milk

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-Oil

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-Tomato sauce

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-Cheese

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-Parsley

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-Microwave for 80 seconds

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-# The clock strikes thirteen

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-# It's one in the afternoon

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-# Tonight, all the creatures

-of the night

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-# Will play under the full moon

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-# Zombies

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-# Zombies

-

-# Offenders

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-# Pumpkins

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-# Pumpkins

-

-# Criminals

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-# Perverts playing trick or treat

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-# Ghosts

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-# Ghosts

-

-# Murderers

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-# Witches

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-# Witches

-

-# Conservatives

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-# Watch out for these on the streets

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-# Dracula

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-# Dracula

-

-# ISIS

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-# The devil

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-# The devil

-

-# Trident

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-# Mam checking my browsing history

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-# Skeleton

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-# Skeleton

-

-# Brummies

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-# Frankenstein

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-# Flu jab,

-watch out for these on the streets

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-# Cobwebs

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-# Cobwebs

-

-# Racism

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-# Werewolf

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-# Werewolf

-

-# From Gladiators, Germany in 1939

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-# Goblins

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-# Goblins

-

-# Ageing

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-# Gremlins

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-# Gremlins

-

-# Clowns, don't be left alone

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-# On Halloween #

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-Daf, I need you to hoover the studio

-before tomorrow.

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-Mr Sakamoto is coming over

-to check the accounts.

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-For the last time,

-Mr Sakamoto doesn't exist.

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-Anyway, he's not my boss.

-We're free spirits, man!

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-We're riding the Welsh media's

-never-ending wave.

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-We don't need bosses.

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-We don't need bosses.

-

-You're wrong. We need eight.

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-The 8 most epic bosses ever

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-Right. Got ya.

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-M Bison is so epic...

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-..even the rubbish Street Fighter

-film didn't dent his cool.

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-I'm willing to bet you won't find

-a scarier man in knee-high boots...

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-..this side

-of Frankfurt's S&M clubs.

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-I thought we agreed

-not to talk about that weekend.

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-Helmut! I'll never forget you!

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-Atheon was the boss at the end

-of the first raid in Destiny.

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-The best part of the game

-by a long way.

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-I can't watch this.

-I spent months playing Destiny.

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-And what for?

-I'm having flashbacks.

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-Calm down. It's not like

-you've been to Vietnam.

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-You weren't there, man!

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-You weren't there!

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-Earthbound

-is my favourite game ever.

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-One reason for that

-is the superb boss at the end.

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-Giygas is an alien

-who's trying to conquer the world.

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-He's described

-as an universal cosmic destroyer.

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-But when you do meet him, he

-turns out to be a bit of an idiot.

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-He looks like a foetus.

-You almost feel bad murdering him.

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-Your favourite game?

-That explains a lot.

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-Do you feel better?

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-Just don't remind me

-of any other traumatic experiences.

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-Oh, God!

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-What else is there to say

-about these two scamps.

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-Imagine the situation.

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-You're making your way

-around the lifeless complex.

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-At the end is a robot

-intent on cutting your life short...

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-..while making fun of you.

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-Oof! Sounds rough.

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-That's enough about

-the self-service tills in Tesco.

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-What about a portal?

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-What about a portal?

-

-Good one.

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-Not many bosses are so good

-that the game's named after them.

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-But that's what you get

-in Donkey Kong.

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-The game is one big fight

-against the boss, really.

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-Mario chases the gorilla

-across four levels.

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-It more or less invented

-the platform game at the same time.

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-It's like that time I was in Tesco.

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-I was in Tesco, right?

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-Give it a rest, Daf.

-The moment's passed.

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-Oh.

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-Hitler?

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-Hitler's No.2 on our list.

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-Hitler's No.2 on our list.

-

-Yep.

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-There's a boss

-more impressive than Hitler?

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-If this doesn't knock my socks off,

-I'm leaving.

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-Ah, fair enough.

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-Nothing says epic more than Bowser,

-Mario's chief enemy...

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-..climbing a skyscraper

-like King Kong on steroids.

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-He's dressed like a cat too.

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-You can imagine how popular this was

-on the Internet.

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-Nintendo getting hard

-about all-powerful cats.

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-Hope no-one shows them

-2 Girls 1 Cup.

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-Oh, no! Flashbacks.

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-Flashbacks!

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-.

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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-Samuel!

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-Bry in Transylvania

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-Samuel!

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-Romania! What a place!

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-You can do whatever you like.

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-Jesus, Samuel!

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-Right, let's show how it's done.

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-I feel like an American!

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-I'm good, lads.

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-BROKEN GLASS

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-Shit. Sorry.

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-Charge it to S4C.

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-Imagine carrying

-these around in Wales.

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-Saturday night in Caernarfon

-would be even more lethal.

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-What did you say?

-Little Joni didn't get stage?

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-I didn't agree with the adjudication

-so I popped a cap in his ass.

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-It's time we had a Welsh action film

-like Die Hard or Apocalypse Now.

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-We could have an agricultural

-Jean-Claude or Jason Statham.

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-Like Sylvester Stallone

-just that he can talk.

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-Westwalian Shaft.

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-But Welsh isn't very scary.

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-What's Terminator in Welsh?

-"DJ Bry yw y Terfynwr!"

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-I'll be back.

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-If he was Welsh, he'd say,

-"Byddai nol whap."

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-Useless. Say hello

-to my little friend.

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-"Gwed helo i fy ffrind mynwesol."

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-You talkin' to me?

-"Ti'n siarad a fi? Sneb arall 'ma."

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-Go ahead, punk. Make my day.

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-"Ie, cerwch chi.

-Gwnewch chi fy niwrnod."

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-It doesn't have the same ring to it.

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-"I don't have money,

-but what I do have...

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-"..are a very particular

-set of skills.

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-"I will look for you, I will

-find you and I will kill you."

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-Yes, I am. I'm going to do it.

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-Try and stop me. I'm going to do it.

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-Jesus, Samuel.

-I'm good, you're lethal!

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-Yes, sorry about that bulb.

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-Yes, charge it to S4C.

-There's a new boy in charge.

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-My name? Iolo Williams.

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-Jump start the van, Samuel.

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-Right, Samuel. I'm ready now.

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-Where are we going?

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-A castle? We could've stayed

-in Wales for that.

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-Oh, Dracula's castle.

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-A castle

-with a bloodsucking vampire?

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-Like Prince Charles

-in Caernarfon Castle in '69.

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-It looks crap.

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-Single file, Samuel.

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-There's not much health and safety

-here.

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-I don't Huw Fash

-doing an item here for Prynhawn Da.

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-Dear me.

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-I'm not fussed by this.

-Comfort's my thing.

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-Give me tracksuit bottoms any day.

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-Do they have central heating? It

-must cost a bomb to warm this place.

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-They've got 4G here.

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-Good signal. Better than Ceredigion.

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-Proper Welsh weather.

-Dracula probably liked rain.

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-He didn't like the sun

-more than a ginger kid.

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-Samuel! Leave it!

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-There's a lot of fuss about this

-Dracula bloke. He's not even here.

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-Like Bryn Terfel. A big table.

-Special.

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-The servants' quarters are on

-the other side of the castle. Go!

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-Tool.

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-Count Dracula.

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-A man with a noble title

-who wants to go to England...

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-..lives for centuries and goes on

-and on and you can't get rid of him.

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-Yes. Yes!

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-Like Dafydd Elis-Thomas!

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-That's who he is!

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-I'm Glyn.

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-I'm Glyn.

-

-I'm Elis.

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-I'm...

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-10 questions

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-First gig?

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-Our first gig as a band...

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-..was in Gwdihw as part of Swn

-three years ago.

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-First music love?

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-Paul Westerberg of The Replacements.

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-Probably, yeah.

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-The Beatles.

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-Ringo. Next question.

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-Worst gig you've played?

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-Maes B.

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-Probably.

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-I was...

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-I don't know. Every gig.

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-What do you cook well?

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-Elis is definitely the best.

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-Spag bol.

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-And a mean omelette.

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-Yes, amlotte.

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-Omelette!

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-Who would you swap and why?

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-I'd probably

-replace everyone in this band.

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-What would the name of

-your festival be and who would play?

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-Melltfest.

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-Melltfest.

-

-Fuckfest!

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-We'd call it Fuckfest.

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-Headline band - The Fucks.

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-Fucks. Er... yeah.

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-Biggest fashion mistake?

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-I shaved off all around my head...

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-..leaving very long hair on the top.

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-When Oz cut your hair. I remember.

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-Have you broken the law?

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-Shush!

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-Ideal vehicle?

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-A DeLorean.

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-Not practical.

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-Tell a joke

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-A woman goes to the doctor...

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-..with a bit of lettuce sticking out

-the top of her knickers.

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-The doctor goes, "That looks nasty."

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-It's just the tip of the iceberg.

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-60ml water

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-60ml milk

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-60ml butter

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-Boil

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-80g flour

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-2 eggs

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-Water

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-170C 20-25 minutes

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-Whipped cream

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-200ml cream

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-100g chocolate

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-3 scoops chocolate ice cream,

-50ml milk

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-Brownie pieces

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-Why are we doing this? It's shit!

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-Aargh!

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-Halloween. Hansh has sent me

-to the Silver Mountain Experience.

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-There's something here

-that's supposed to scare me.

0:19:510:19:54

-It'll be fine.

0:19:540:19:56

-Terror Mountain

-is a unique horror experience.

0:19:560:19:59

-It's near Aberystwyth

-and lasts over an hour.

0:19:590:20:03

-There are over 20 characters ready

-to welcome any brave person.

0:20:030:20:07

-I'm not looking forward to this. I

-feel I'm in the Blair Witch Project.

0:20:090:20:12

-We're going into the woods

-because that makes sense.

0:20:130:20:17

-It's really wet!

0:20:180:20:20

-This is where I leave you.

0:20:210:20:23

-No!

0:20:270:20:28

-I can just hear this clicking.

0:20:290:20:31

-That's all.

0:20:320:20:34

-No! I think I've gone mad.

0:20:410:20:44

-No, no, no!

0:20:480:20:49

-This is awful!

0:20:510:20:53

-Why are we doing this? It's shit!

0:20:530:20:56

-I don't...

0:20:560:20:57

-No!

0:20:580:20:59

-Oh, God.

0:20:590:21:00

-Oh, God.

-

-Single file! Move it!

0:21:000:21:01

-In you come! Hands up! Move!

0:21:020:21:04

-No!

0:21:050:21:06

-Decontamination sequence complete.

0:21:100:21:13

-Ta-ra!

0:21:140:21:16

-We're following a woman

-who's fucking mental.

0:21:160:21:19

-We're underground.

0:21:190:21:21

-Oh, God!

0:21:210:21:22

-Just go through. There's nothing

-to be afraid of. Don't worry.

0:21:240:21:29

-Go that way as quickly as you can!

0:21:300:21:32

-Oh, my God!

0:21:340:21:36

-Oh, God! I don't like this.

0:21:380:21:40

-Things are following us

-and I don't like it at all.

0:21:410:21:44

-Hang on. My hat's gone.

0:21:450:21:47

-Sorry!

0:21:470:21:48

-OK, I've just apologized

-to a fucking monster.

0:21:490:21:52

-Oh, my God!

0:21:550:21:56

-It's really dark down here.

0:21:590:22:01

-We're out. Thank fuck.

0:22:010:22:03

-Are we?

0:22:030:22:04

-No. It hasn't finished. Oh, God.

0:22:040:22:07

-No, no, no, no, no!

0:22:100:22:12

-No, no, no!

0:22:120:22:13

-Sorry, mate!

0:22:130:22:15

-That was really, really scary.

0:22:280:22:31

-It was almost all in the dark

-and I hate the dark.

0:22:320:22:35

-People were jumping out.

-It was yuck!

0:22:360:22:38

-Happy Halloween, everyone!

0:22:390:22:41

-S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.

0:22:560:22:58

-.

0:22:580:22:58

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