Pennod 2 Hansh


Pennod 2

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Transcript


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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-I'm in the dub suite today

-doing continuity for S4C.

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-That's the bit between programmes.

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-I've never been

-in the dub suite before.

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-That's Al.

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-I'm afraid of Al.

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-I don't know him very well.

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-OK, Al?

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-OK, Gar, how's it going?

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-OK, Gar, how's it going?

-

-Fine, thank you.

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-Are you looking forward to it?

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-Are you looking forward to it?

-

-I'm a bit nervous.

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-Don't be nervous. You'll be fine.

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-Don't be nervous. You'll be fine.

-

-I've never done voiceovers before.

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-How will I come across as a voice?

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-I just sound like a normal bloke.

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-I just sound like a normal bloke.

-

-You've got a good voice.

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-Thanks, Al.

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-Al's a good bloke.

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-Chocolate.

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-Cornflour.

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-Salt.

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-Vanilla.

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-Milk.

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-Mix.

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-Microwave for 60 seconds.

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-Mix.

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-Microwave for 30 seconds.

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-Cream.

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-Chocolate pudding.

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-Something different this month.

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-Everyone's been going on about

-how strong the new 5 note is.

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-The boffins have asked me

-to conduct a series of experiments.

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-I'll conduct five experiments.

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-That's annoying.

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-The 5 won that one.

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-All you need for a 5 smoothie

-is some water...

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-..and...

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-..a 5 note.

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-The 5 did well,

-but the blender won that one.

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-In you go for 30 seconds.

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-What?

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-It has melted slightly...

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-..but I think the 5

-beat the microwave.

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-A frozen fiver versus sledgehammer!

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-Omigod! Bloody hell, Queenie!

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-I think the sledgehammer

-won that one.

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-Finally, a fiver versus a blowtorch.

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-Burn voyage, fiver!

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-One for the blowtorch, I think!

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-There we are then.

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-The new 5 is quite strong.

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-It won against my hands

-and the microwave...

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-..but lost to the sledgehammer,

-the blowtorch and the blender.

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-That's it for today.

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-Subscribe to our YouTube channel,

-follow us on Twitter...

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-..and like our Facebook page.

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-Right, what else can I burn?

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-My name is Paul Eastwood

-and I'm an artist.

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-I work with text, craft,

-painting, video...

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-..voice work and installation.

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-My family don't speak Welsh.

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-Perhaps as a result of that...

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-..I get a different perspective

-of the Welsh language.

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-Seg

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-Rg

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-Rair

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-When you enter the exhibition,

-it looks very simple.

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-You might think there's no art

-in the room at all.

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-But if you look around you...

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-..there are indicators

-to help you go through the work.

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-For example,

-there are two ears on one wall...

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-..which might suggest

-you need to listen...

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-..or hear what's going on.

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-Artefacts and objects are now

-in a state of decline and decay.

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-A lot of people

-are unkind to artists.

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-They want to know

-what the artist is trying to say...

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-..in a sentence.

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-That isn't the artist's job.

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-The artist does 50% of the work.

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-They show you something.

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-It's up to you to do the other 50%.

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-What happens when we forget?

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-As a researcher,

-I start at the library.

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-I started at Wrexham library...

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-..looking at the shelves

-with Welsh books.

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-There aren't many, and you ask why.

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-You talk to them,

-and the first thing they say...

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-..if a book isn't read

-for a few years...

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-..it goes into deep archive

-and you have to ask for it.

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-While travelling Wales,

-I came across Siop y Pethe.

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-They were closing and they gave me

-about a thousand publications.

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-Getting hold of them

-and looking through them...

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-..opened up a new aspect

-on Welsh history and culture.

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-I want to create an idea

-of protective architecture...

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-..like a museum,

-an archive of Welsh culture.

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-A disembodied apparition...

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-..possesses a desolate museum...

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-..buried deep in the heart

-of a mountain.

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-All of the objects

-in the museum's archive...

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-..are broken or destroyed

-because of the ravages of time.

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-They're small fragments

-of something big.

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-I wanted to create something

-not funny but fairly surreal.

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-Hywel Pitts and the Welsh Whisperer

-compose a song in an hour - live.

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-Submit suggestions...

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-..and vote for a word

-to include in the song by emoji.

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-We're here to write one song

-in one hour, aren't we?

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-But you choose the subject.

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-At half past four, we'll...

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-At half past four, we'll...

-

-On the half hour mark...

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-..we'll choose one of these

-to include in the song.

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-Or rather,

-you'll choose by emoji power.

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-Shall we start?

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-Shall we start?

-

-The clock's already running.

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-Where do we start? Northern people?

-A 23-stone pie-eating goalie? Snobs?

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-We have to pick one,

-so that makes it harder.

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-We'll have to do posh Welsh people.

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-We'll have to do posh Welsh people.

-

-Isn't it like our middle-class song?

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-Jack Peyton says the Bible.

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-# The Bible! #

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-What is the Bible? A storybook?

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-A storybook about Moses and Jesus

-and all their mates.

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-# A book of stories #

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-Elin Haf Gruffydd

-has given a few suggestions.

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-Noah's ark?

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-Noah's ark?

-

-# A zoo #

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-It is a zoo in the sea.

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-# I got a lifetime ban

-from Sunday school

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-# For doing drugs...

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-# And riding on a mule #

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-Why else would you get banned

-from Sunday school?

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-# For standing in the pulpit

-and loudly breaking wind #

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-The suggestions are in.

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-Oh, it's Doris.

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-There was a storm.

-That's why they had the ark.

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-# Old Doris Morris causing floods #

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-She's not in the Bible!

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-# And Jesus betrayed Judas #

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-What did he do?

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-What did he do?

-

-The Good Samaritan.

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-We could use him.

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-# Samari-tan #

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-# Jesus betrayed Judas

-and the Samari-tan #

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-Desperate, but never mind.

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-Desperate, but never mind.

-

-How will we end it?

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-We'd better read it.

-Or you read it - it's good.

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-# Go and get a copy

-to see Shan Cothi on page three

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-Job done!

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-Job done!

-

-I can't wait to film it.

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-That's it. One hour.

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-That's it. One hour.

-

-Ideal.

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-That's a cool desk.

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-Do you want a go?

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-Yes, please.

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-What does this do?

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-Don't touch that.

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-This is a tune!

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-Don't!

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-Cartune. Which song? Which band?

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-.

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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-Al!

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-Al!

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-Al, can you hear me?

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-Al!

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-Al!

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-Al!

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-Al!

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-Sorry, Gar, I was in the toilet.

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-Unbelievable!

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-Hiya. Are you OK?

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-Can you hear yourself?

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-I don't know it that's my voice

-or someone else's.

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-Is it me?

-It's weird hearing your own voice.

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-GARBLED SINGING

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-Do you want to go for one?

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-Do you want to go for one?

-

-OK.

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-I'm recording.

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-When you're ready.

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-When you're ready.

-

-To the camera?

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-No, we're not filming this.

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-Into the microphone.

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-Next on S...

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-GARETH CHUCKLES

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-I fluffed that!

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-Don't use that one!

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-Next on S4C...

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-..Hansh.

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-# The Bible

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-# Oh Bible

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-# Loads of stories

-about Moses and Jesus and his mates

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-# The Bible

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-# Oh Bible

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-# Water into beer,

-eggs and God, who's great

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-# I've never read the Bible

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-# But I take it

-that this is how the story goes

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-# I got a lifetime ban

-from Sunday school

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-# For standing in the pulpit

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-# And loudly breaking wind

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-# The Bible

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-# Oh Bible

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-# Doris, wife of Morris the Wind

-blowing everywhere

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-# The Bible

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-# Oh Bible

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-# Jesus betraying Judas

-and the Samari-tan

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-# I've never read the Bible

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-# But I take it

-that this is how the story goes

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-# Moses scuba-diving

-through the sea

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-# Mair's waters break,

-to hospital in a 4x4

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-# The Bible

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-# Oh Bible

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-# Go get a copy

-to read over coffee

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-# The breasts of Shan Cothi

-take up all of page three #

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-After watching Sunday's tight game

-between Serbia and Wales...

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-..many will have asked

-where exactly that leaves Wales.

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-I'm here to help you work it out.

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-We're currently third,

-with eight points.

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-Although we are four points

-behind Serbia and Ireland...

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-..that doesn't mean it's all over.

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-There are still 12 points to be won

-in the four remaining games.

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-The next round of games

-will be important for Wales.

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-Austria, one of the favourites

-to top the group initially...

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-..visit Cardiff.

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-Serbia and Ireland

-face Moldova and Georgia...

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-..the two bottom sides in the group.

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-If we lose to Austria

-and other results go against us...

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-..although

-not mathematically impossible...

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-..the campaign

-would be all but over.

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-But if we beat Austria,

-things will look good for us.

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-Our next two games will be

-against Moldova and Georgia...

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-..the two bottom sides in the group.

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-Serbia will have to go to Austria

-and also play Ireland.

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-After Austria, Wales will only

-have to face one top four side...

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-..in the final game,

-at home to Ireland.

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-With the Red Wall behind them,

-Wales should be favourites to win.

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-So, don't lose heart yet.

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-Not until after the next game,

-maybe, then you can.

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-June is here, with lots

-of absolute shite in the cinema...

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-..like this, whatever it is,

-and the latest DC Comics dud.

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-Why does so much in the DC universe

-take place in a grey car park?

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-Not set in a grey car park

-is Okja, on Netflix in July.

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-It's about a big company's attempt

-to kidnap a young girl's pet...

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-..and turn it into, well,

-all sorts of horrors.

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-It resembles a massive hippo,

-and contains amazing nutrients.

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-It's a bit of a caper, at times sad,

-not unlike Oceans Eleven in parts...

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-..but with Superpig.

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-Also on Netflix,

-I'm really looking forward to GLOW.

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-GLOW stands for

-Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling.

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-From the makers

-of Orange Is The New Black...

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-..it's about a group of women

-who start a wrestling show.

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-Alison Brie

-from Mad Men and Community...

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-..plays a starving actress

-who takes a job with the wrestlers.

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-It also features Mark Maron,

-star of the popular WTF podcast.

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-The podcast's quite good,

-though Mark can be annoying...

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-..but GLOW proves

-that he does seem to be able to act.

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-Well done. I can't wait for GLOW.

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-I know I just slagged off movies...

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-..but Edgar Wright's Baby Driver

-does look good.

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-If you're still sad that he was

-booted as director of Antman...

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-..Baby Driver drips with Wright's

-trademark style and cool.

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-Unlike Shaun Of The Dead zombies

-or Somerset cops in Hot Fuzz...

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-..this is a full-blown heist movie

-with an incredible cast.

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-John Hamm, Jamie Foxx,

-Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers...

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-..and Kevin Spacey.

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-It might seem run-of-the-mill...

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-..but a great soundtrack and slick

-action will make it stand out.

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-If I'm wrong,

-we can watch Hot Fuzz again.

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-It might be a cliche that us Welsh

-love anything with a Welsh star...

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-..but I'll be first in the queue...

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-..when Transformers, um, 17, First

-Knight or something, comes out.

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-I was excited about the film anyway.

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-I live in hope that there will be

-one good one during my lifetime.

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-I've also got a soft spot

-for Mark Wahlberg.

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-Just look

-at his little worried face.

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-But best of all, Transformers 17

-has Sir Anthony Hopkins in it.

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-What's Tony doing

-in a film about fighting robots?

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-It'll be awesome to hear him go on

-about Decepticons and space aliens.

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-If I'm wrong...

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-..actually, nothing will happen.

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-Ta-ra!

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-Wake up to the possibilities!

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-Try Ninja Gran, Slimming Scent,

-Green Maxi Powder...

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-..Wake The Dead Kit, Don't Care Gum,

-Pinata Party, Muscle Meal...

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-..Flying Cat, Face Move,

-all for only 390.

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-Wonderful Wanda's

-toy and stuff laboratory.

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-A quarter past lift.

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-I just wanted to be normal.

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-Creating toys and stuff

-to make everything better.

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-Like Slimming Scent.

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-Or Afro In A Bottle.

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-And Make Your Own Thingy.

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-Then I created Green Maxi Powder.

0:19:370:19:39

-My intentions were good,

-but Uncle Donald's weren't.

0:19:390:19:43

-I want Green Maxi Powder

-out there causing harm!

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-One pack per box.

-Remember the environment!

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-On the other side of town,

-Ken Little is playing - badly.

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-Parcel for Mr Little.

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-Parcel for Mr Little.

-

-Ooh, my Slimming Scent!

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-An end to the bullying!

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-What's this?

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-Small becomes big

-with Green Maxi Powder.

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-A superb product. Nice!

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-Where's my lovely Slimming Scent?

0:20:160:20:19

-A boring yellow house.

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-Boys, I want you.

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-As if!

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-Uncle Donald's distributing

-the Green Maxi Powder.

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-Help me, because you don't seem

-to mind about my tail, and this.

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-I won't suffer alone!

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-How's this for a green party?

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-Prawn crackers!

0:20:490:20:51

-Big burgers or small tables?

0:20:510:20:55

-Breaking news!

0:20:560:20:58

-A plastic lizard... oh, forget it.

0:20:580:21:02

-Hey, lads. Wait!

0:21:030:21:05

-What colour is this

-Green Maxi Powder?

0:21:100:21:13

-Look at that massive prawn.

0:21:130:21:15

-When I click my fingers,

-things happen. Look.

0:21:190:21:22

-Troy! Must you?

0:21:250:21:28

-How will you explain this to Mam?

0:21:320:21:35

-It's OK.

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-OMB!

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-A big boy or what?

0:21:380:21:40

-A matter of opinion. What's that?

0:21:410:21:44

-Ah, OK.

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-We have to do something before...

0:21:470:21:48

-We have to do something before...

-

-Stand back!

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-Nobody touches lardy

-without my say-so.

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-This is going to be fun.

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-Fun, fun, fun!

0:21:570:22:02

-Ooh, my burger's big.

0:22:050:22:07

-I've got one Hulk arm and one like

-the Hulk's before he's the Hulk.

0:22:070:22:11

-Come on, kill them!

0:22:120:22:15

-OMD! Do something!

0:22:150:22:17

-Nooooooo!

0:22:270:22:29

-He's going to blow!

0:22:300:22:32

-The least of his problems.

0:22:340:22:36

-What will happen?

0:22:360:22:37

-Will Uncle Don change colour again?

0:22:370:22:40

-Will we find out

-why Troy wears a name tag?

0:22:400:22:43

-Don't miss the next episode of 390.

0:22:430:22:46

-Was that OK?

0:22:480:22:49

-Yes, spot on.

0:22:490:22:51

-Are we done now?

0:22:510:22:52

-Are we done now?

-

-Do you want to hear it?

0:22:520:22:53

-Next on S4C...

0:22:540:22:56

-That's my posh voice!

0:22:570:22:58

-That is my posh voice!

0:22:590:23:00

-Next on S4C, Hansh Hansh Hansh.

0:23:010:23:03

-I'm hilarious, Al.

0:23:030:23:05

-I've done continuity for S4C now.

0:23:060:23:09

-I had fun.

0:23:090:23:11

-Al's been a bit irritable.

0:23:120:23:14

-I think I annoyed him.

0:23:160:23:17

-OK, Al?

0:23:190:23:20

-OK, Gar.

0:23:200:23:22

-He's not saying much now.

0:23:220:23:25

-But I enjoyed

-doing continuity for S4C.

0:23:270:23:29

-Something else for my CV.

0:23:300:23:32

-I don't know what he's doing.

0:23:380:23:40

-Which Band? Ysgol Sul.

0:23:420:23:44

-Which Song? Aberystwyth Yn Y Glaw.

0:23:450:23:47

-S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.

0:23:580:24:00

-.

0:24:000:24:01

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