Pennod 30 Hansh


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Pennod 30

Tiwns, comedi a lleisiau ffres. Blas o gynnwys arlein @hanshs4c. Tunes, comedy and fresh faces. A taste of online content @hanshs4c.


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-One, two, three, four.

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-Warning! Swearing

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-# A great life

-travelling Wales all summer

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-# Singing shit songs to empty rooms

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-# A few gigs without speakers

-or even worse

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-# Chasing fifty quid pay

-from Cymdeithas yr Iaith

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-# Gigs in a tent

-or a trailer in a pub car park

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-# Competing with the DJ while trying

-to play tunes in the club

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-# A raffle half an hour into the set

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-# Everyone wants Yma O Hyd

-but I don't do requests

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-# I really wanted to be

-a part of the Welsh music scene

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-# Until I saw Dewi Pws

-shitting in a field

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-# Dreaming of a headline slot

-on the Maes B stage

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-# But seeing Dewi Pws squat

-has change my mind

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-# Travelling the country

-to entertain Welsh speakers

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-# The same crowd

-from Bangor to Fishguard

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-# Having to take photos

-for local newspapers

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-# Half the crowd need a Zimmer frame

-to help them walk

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-# The other half are too young,

-so I change my set

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-# Remove the fucks and shits

-and the lines about sex

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-# No stages, singing by the bogs

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-# The groupies are sloppy seconds

-for Gwilym and his clogs

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-# I really wanted to be

-a part of the Welsh music scene

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-# Until I saw

-S4C legal department

-fucking my wife

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-# Dreaming of a headline slot

-on the Maes B stage

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-# But seeing

-S4C legal department

-banging has changed my mind #

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-Hello, Wales.

-I'm Laszlo from Budapest.

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-I'm a record collector

-and I like Welsh music.

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-It started

-with the Super Furry Animals.

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-Thanks to them, I heard about

-Gorky's Zygotic Mynci...

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-..Richard James, Cate Le Bon

-and many more.

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-I contacted many of the artists

-over the web.

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-Everyone was very friendly.

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-Now, it's the artists

-who contact me!

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-So, dear friends, happy Welsh

-Language Music Day to you all!

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-With a month until the Oscars,

-everyone's stepped up their game...

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-..in the film world, and on Netflix.

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-We have big, mad Danny Day-Lewis

-making dresses in Phantom Thread...

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-..big, mad Margot Robbie

-skating and shooting in I, Tonya...

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-..and nobody big or mad

-in Lady Bird.

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-But it's bloody lovely.

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-They're all really good

-but they don't come close...

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-..to perhaps the film and TV

-highlight of the year, Coach Snoop.

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-Nice and soft. Good job.

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-How've we not had this idea before?

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-Take a group of ruffians

-from an impoverished area in LA...

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-..and throw them into an American

-football team coached by Snoop Dogg.

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-Though the whole thing

-sounds a bit stupid...

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-..Coach Snoop

-is a masterpiece for anyone...

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-..who loves emotional documentaries

-about sport they don't understand.

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-There are loads of great films

-out this month.

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-I don't think I can concentrate

-after Coach Snoop but here we go.

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-I don't think I'm

-the target audience for Lady Bird...

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-..a sad and funny film about

-a US teenager called Lady Bird.

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-The main character

-is really young...

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-..so it's sort of alright

-that she's a dickhead.

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-But she really is a dickhead,

-especially with her mum.

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-I'm sure I was a dickhead

-in my teens...

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-..so I tried to remove my prejudice

-for dickheads out of my head.

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-After that,

-Lady Bird was really good.

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-It's an essential film for any girl

-who gives her mum shit...

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-..or for a mum who's had enough.

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-Is it as good as Coach Snoop? No.

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-I wasn't arsed

-to go and see I, Tonya.

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-On the surface,

-it looks like a film...

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-..a studio's pumped out for the

-Oscars period, but it's a banger.

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-Margot Robbie plays a real-life US

-skater who did something quite bad.

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-I won't say what but it's mental.

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-Her mum is also mental.

-She's overbearing and abusive.

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-She's played by C J from

-The West Wing, aka Allison Janney.

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-The lads in this aren't as good

-as the girls, so fuck 'em.

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-Though I want everyone to see

-I, Tonya...

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-..is it as good as Coach Snoop?

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-Finally this month, Phantom Thread.

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-It's a bonkers story about a man

-who sewed dresses in the '50s.

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-Daniel Day-Lewis is in it -

-brilliant.

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-It's been directed by

-Paul Thomas Anderson - yes, please.

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-An amazing supporting cast.

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-But it's just not Coach Snoop.

-I don't think anything will ever be.

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-So what's the point?

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-Hero/ine - a poem about social media

-by Llyr Gwyn Lewis

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-"It's me, Shelly, here, Liam,

-typing this, again... why...?

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-"This year, it'll be seven years

-since you were killed

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-"No? I don't believe it - amazing

-that months pass

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-"But I'm on this any time

-to talk - don't forget to share

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-"It was hard: 'Fancy a walk?'

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-"Muttering quietly, would I come?

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-"'Let's just sit and just talk

-- really'

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-"(I looked for the cans

-from his pocket)

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-"I was younger and innocent

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-"He was acting like a pro,

-with no thought for tomorrow

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-"But there was a spark,

-a cute flame in his eye

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-"Shell, I remember the town was lost

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-"Every street was empty, really

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-"Poor love - I'm here for you

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-"Dawdling, the town drumming

-an old verse into his head

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-"Boring, boring

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-"A biro burning his hands,

-moaning as he signs on

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-"'This makes we weary'

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-"Jarring like the giro, no change

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-"But what do you do?

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-"Stewing, with the good jobs

-leaving, just damn them?

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-"One day, the sound of fists

-and drums - and drama soldiers

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-"Encouraging lads to turn their back

-on this town with their nifty cry

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-"'You'll have friends,

-a barracks, bread

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-"'Fancy travelling?

-Good, we'll make you a man!'

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-"That was it, they went in hordes

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-"Bastard!

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-"Why did you go all that way,

-you fuck, to burn?

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-"I don't get it...

-to spill your blood for some IED?

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-"No - that's not what it was like

-according to the report

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-"You're too nice: you're a heroine

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-"But for useless Muslims and their

-bloodthirst - there'd be no mess!

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-"Really - she's different!

-I don't want to mess you about

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-"Leave her be!

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-"It's important

-but I won't upset the apple cart

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-"Sod it. Come on then, quick!

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-"OK... the link - look at this

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-"'The report said

-that he was blown up to bits

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-"'And to her, they said

-he died accidentally

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-"'But our sources

-have challenged that familiar story

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-"'And an old wound

-had to be reopened to announce

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-"'That an explosive, enemy or gun

-was his murderer

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-"'The verdict of our investigation

-is that he was his own worst enemy

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-"'He wanted, of his own volition,

-to die

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-"'And so, he climbed up

-tying clean sheets

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-"'After hanging them - he escaped.'

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-"Shit! No, Shell... how?

-Are you sure?

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-"It's true... he wasn't a hero

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-"A hero... Dad... my boyfriend,

-one of the lads... hanged

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-"But you were used

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-"It's easier to say now: you went

-to try and change your life

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-"Who'd blame you?

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-"It's easier to see

-it's the suit who recruited you

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-"And the ones

-so indifferent about freedom

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-"Who murdered you

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-"They know what they're doing

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-"They know you'll get angry

-about a plague of Poles

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-"About football, accidents

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-"But the elderly

-freezing in their slow bodies

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-"The fewer beds, ill hospitals

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-"The roofless left with no escape

-from the food bank?

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-"For the evil of immigrants,

-you insist on a wall!

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-"Hold on: I still want to cling

-to the good

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-"Yet, I will carry his name

-shivering throughout my life

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-"I remember his warmth

-before the world spat us out

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-"And share this, though it didn't

-make a penny's difference in my life

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-"But still, all the same,

-I have to do something

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-"So we'll interrupt their noise

-and their fake news

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-"Fuck them

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-"That's the challenge

-of being a hero

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-"Not some stand overseas

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-"What am I to do,

-with our world darker, poorer?

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-"Carry on

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-"Tomorrow, yes?

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-"I'll go now

-past the sea and pebbles

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-"From an illusion into town

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-"And happily escape

-from the emptiness

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-"Just one day free of the web

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-"Through town,

-from the quay to the street

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-"To the smell of smoky cafes

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-"Here, he is still alive

-in its taste and people

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-"Its starlings and slates

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-"In the grief of its boats

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-"Layers of colours,

-not a blue screen

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-"I'll throw the awful uncertainty,

-their ugly cries and harsh adverts

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-"Happily into the river

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-"With its voice which seems to say,

-'No, switch off your phone.'"

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-Happy Welsh Language Music Day

-to you all.

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-My name is David.

-I live in Scotland.

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-I've been listening to Welsh music

-for 20 years.

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-I started listening to Super Furry

-Animals and Gorky's Zygotic Mynci.

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-This led me to discover a

-wonderful world of music from Wales.

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-Among the bands I listen to

-are Ffug, Y Niwl...

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-..Castles, Cowbois Rhos Botwnnog...

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-..Oblong, Gintis...

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-..Swnami, Colorama, HMS Morris

-amongst many more.

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-There are lots of good bands.

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-I go to FOCUS Wales every year

-down in Wrexham.

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-It's a 600-mile round trip for me

-but it's well worth it.

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-Thank you for watching.

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-Thank you.

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-Support Welsh music.

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-.

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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-Shrove Tuesday

-is around the corner...

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-..so I've come to Llynnon Mill,

-the only working windmill in Wales.

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-I'm going to show you

-my pancake recipe.

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-It's very easy, but I'll

-pimp it up Chris Roberts style.

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-Fire and smoke

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-Warning: Strong language

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-This is a very easy pancake recipe.

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-I won't be using any scales or jugs.

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-I'll measure things out using a mug.

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-So in my batter goes

-a mug of milk and a mug of flour.

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-A pinch of salt.

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-And one egg.

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-Now I'll just use elbow grease.

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-This is enough

-to make six quite large pancakes.

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-I'm adding the zest of an orange.

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-The smell of the zest is amazing.

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-Batter done.

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-I love some fruit and booze

-with my pancakes.

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-I have blood oranges here,

-which are amazing.

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-I'll slice those in half.

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-The charcoals are hot.

-I'm putting a cast iron pan on top.

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-In goes the sugar.

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-When you have pancakes on

-Shrove Tuesday, you have to indulge.

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-Last year, I got pissed off.

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-People on Facebook

-were making healthy pancakes.

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-Who the fuck

-wants healthy pancakes?!

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-The sugar's caramelizing so

-I'll add the oranges cut side down.

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-You can't pimp up pancakes

-without booze.

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-Here, I have orange liqueur.

-It'll go amazingly with the orange.

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-In it goes.

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-Just watch this sizzling!

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-I'm happy with the caramelization

-of the oranges.

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-I'll take it off and let it set.

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-I'll now cook the pancakes.

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-The cast iron pan is hot.

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-I'll grease it with butter

-and in we go with the pancake.

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-I always fuck up

-with the first one...

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-..but you learn how hot the pan is

-and how much batter you need.

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-It's had a minute now.

-I'll have a go at flipping it.

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-Fucking hell! The first pancake is

-always a test so it doesn't matter.

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-Roxy's pancake is sorted.

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-Take two.

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-That's how you do it!

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-I'll pimp it up

-using dulce de leche.

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-It's basically Spanish for caramel.

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-I'll try and roll it now.

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-More sugar.

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-This is a tip from my food hero,

-Francis Mallmann.

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-I saw him in the Andes

-making himself pancakes.

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-He seared the sugar

-using a red-hot poker.

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-Let's see if it works.

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-Fucking hell!

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-Yes!

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-Fire and fucking smoke!

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-Some of the oranges.

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-I have creme fraiche here.

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-Some mint.

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-I like to add some lemon zest too.

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-To finish,

-the juice of half a lemon.

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-Look at that.

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-A caramel, Cointreau, crisp pancake.

0:16:230:16:26

-Time to tuck in.

0:16:270:16:28

-Shrove Tuesday, Chris Roberts style.

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-Plenty of sugar, plenty of caramel,

-plenty of Cointreau.

0:16:380:16:41

-There we are. Ideal.

0:16:420:16:43

-Hello, I'm Yulia.

-I come from Russia.

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-I'm studying Welsh

-in Poznan, Poland.

0:16:550:16:58

-I think Welsh

-is a great and melodic language.

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-I don't have a special reason

-for learning it.

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-Quite simply, I like it a lot.

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-In terms of Welsh music...

0:17:100:17:13

-..I love folk songs...

0:17:130:17:16

-..like Cyfri'r Geifr

-and Y Mochyn Du.

0:17:160:17:21

-My favourite song...

0:17:210:17:24

-..is Gymru, Gwelaf Di

-by 3 Welsh Tenors.

0:17:240:17:28

-I heard it for the first time...

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-..while I was listening

-to Radio Cymru.

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-I fell in love with it immediately.

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-Thank you for listening. Bye.

0:17:400:17:43

-This week, we're in Llanllechid...

0:17:540:17:56

-..putting the life of a special mum

-in order.

0:17:560:17:59

-I can't carry on like this.

0:17:590:18:02

-The gang's ready

-to help out once more.

0:18:020:18:05

-Turning a mess...

0:18:050:18:07

-It was so messy

-it was like a war zone.

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-..into pride.

0:18:110:18:12

-Welcome to Home Screen Makeover.

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-Llanllechid is a few miles

-from the city of Bangor.

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-It's home to around 900 people.

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-Most of the income

-has come from the slate industry.

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-But in Ty'n Ffridd...

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-..things aren't ideal for

-Ceri Morgan and her mum, Gwen.

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-Ceri, this place is lovely.

0:18:410:18:43

-It's nice. It's quiet.

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-Tell me a little about your mother.

0:18:470:18:48

-Mam! She's busy.

-She's always helping someone.

0:18:490:18:52

-I talk a lot to her.

-We're good friends.

0:18:520:18:55

-In the months since Gwen's sister

-moved to New Zealand...

0:18:570:19:02

-..Ceri noticed that her mother's

-home screen was odd.

0:19:020:19:06

-This is Auntie Liz.

-Mam's lost without her.

0:19:060:19:10

-It started with things

-she didn't really need.

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-Hurricane Tracker, Teach Yourself

-Portuguese and Mini Thesaurus.

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-After a while, the things she really

-needed were being pushed back...

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-..to the back screens.

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-That's when Ceri contacted us.

0:19:330:19:36

-Well, it's just gone ten thirty.

0:19:390:19:41

-Gwen has just gone

-to her work in Morrisons, Bangor.

0:19:410:19:44

-Before she went...

0:19:450:19:46

-..like we ask everyone to do

-on Home Screen Makeover...

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-..Ceri's hidden

-her mother's handset.

0:19:510:19:53

-We have until 5.30pm to turn

-this nightmare of a home screen...

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-..into a beautiful haven.

0:20:010:20:02

-Over the next six hours, Gwen's

-messy home screen will be cleared.

0:20:040:20:09

-But which apps

-will our team install?

0:20:090:20:12

-With the clock ticking

-and everyone under pressure...

0:20:130:20:17

-..there's disagreement.

0:20:170:20:18

-My job is to get it looking nice...

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-..and to have the right apps

-and the right wallpaper.

0:20:210:20:24

-Who cares about the wallpaper?

0:20:240:20:25

-Who cares about the wallpaper?

-

-It's important.

0:20:250:20:27

-It's high time

-those two had a factory reset.

0:20:270:20:31

-That's not bad, actually.

0:20:340:20:35

-Tip of the week...

0:20:370:20:38

-Do you have trouble

-seeing your screen on a sunny day?

0:20:380:20:42

-I have the perfect tip for you.

0:20:420:20:44

-Put your finger at the bottom

-of the screen and slide up.

0:20:450:20:49

-Move the slider

-all the way to the end.

0:20:490:20:52

-There we are. A screen that's bright

-enough to see on any sunny day.

0:20:520:20:57

-What do you think, dolly?

0:20:580:21:00

-There's an hour

-before Gwen gets home.

0:21:010:21:04

-But there's a problem.

0:21:040:21:06

-All the work

-has affected the phone battery.

0:21:060:21:09

-It's usually upstairs.

-It's not there!

0:21:100:21:12

-No-one knows

-where she keeps her charger.

0:21:120:21:15

-I was mortified.

0:21:150:21:17

-Mam has an iPhone 4S

-so we had to find an old charger.

0:21:170:21:21

-I couldn't believe it.

0:21:210:21:23

-But there's no problem too big

-for the Home Screen Makeover team.

0:21:240:21:28

-Which one do you want?

0:21:280:21:30

-Owi, you're one in a million.

0:21:320:21:34

-Despite the panics and arguments, we

-have finished with seconds to spare.

0:21:390:21:44

-Happy?

0:21:440:21:45

-We could've done with a bit

-more time, but, yes, I am happy.

0:21:450:21:49

-Ceri?

0:21:500:21:51

-Ceri?

-

-I'm over the moon.

0:21:510:21:52

-She's coming.

0:21:520:21:54

-Gwen Morgan! Do you know why you

-couldn't find your phone earlier?

0:21:560:22:00

-I knew there was something!

0:22:000:22:02

-We got a phone call from Ceri...

0:22:020:22:04

-..asking us

-to give your home screen a makeover.

0:22:050:22:07

-I knew you were up to something!

0:22:080:22:10

-Would you like to see

-what we've done?

0:22:100:22:12

-I do.

0:22:130:22:14

-I do.

-

-Gwen Morgan.

0:22:140:22:15

-Show your home screen.

0:22:150:22:17

-I can't believe this.

-I'm so excited!

0:22:170:22:20

-What do you think?

0:22:200:22:21

-What do you think?

-

-It's marvellous. It's lovely.

0:22:210:22:23

-I don't know what to say!

0:22:240:22:25

-But we had one further surprise

-for Gwen.

0:22:300:22:33

-FaceTime?!

0:22:330:22:34

-With the FaceTime app

-now on the home screen...

0:22:340:22:38

-..someone very special

-has got in touch...

0:22:390:22:42

-..all the way from New Zealand.

0:22:420:22:44

-The screen's frozen!

0:22:460:22:47

-Unfortunately, iOS7 doesn't support

-some of the features on FaceTime.

0:22:480:22:53

-So, Gwen will probably

-have to buy a new phone.

0:22:530:22:56

-That's it for another week.

0:22:570:22:59

-Join us next week...

0:22:590:23:01

-..where we surprise someone

-who needs a Home Screen Makeover.

0:23:010:23:05

-Ta-ra.

0:23:060:23:06

-Ta-ra.

-

-Liz? You've gone again.

0:23:060:23:08

-S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.

0:23:250:23:27

-.

0:23:270:23:27

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