Pennod 31 Hansh


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Pennod 31

Tiwns, comedi a lleisiau ffres. Blas o gynnwys arlein @hanshs4c. Tunes, comedy and fresh faces. A taste of online content @hanshs4c.


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-Alright? I'm Mared. There's an

-important day happening tomorrow.

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-It's Valentine's Day.

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-But everyone

-will be talking about that.

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-Love you! Love you!

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-You can't avoid it.

-It's all over Facebook.

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-"Just love my man."

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-He's an arsehole who's guaranteed to

-be sending dick pics on Snapchat.

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-Even if it's not his actual cock...

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-..it's still a dick pic

-as he's a dick!

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-But what about us?

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-What about the single people...

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-..who don't receive cards,

-chocolate or a hug?

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-That's why some genius...

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-..has come up with a day

-to compete with Valentine's Day.

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-Is someone taking the piss?

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-Is it a joke?

-How should people celebrate it?

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-Some put on dating events.

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-Traffic light discos where

-the only colour is green for go.

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-And so on.

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-Their purpose is for everyone

-to be in a relationship.

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-What's the rush? It might happen one

-day and be perfect. It might not.

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-Relationships are complicated.

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-They're nothing but drama,

-compromise and shit sex.

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-How should you celebrate

-Singles Appreciation Day?

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-I'd suggest having friends round for

-some wine, a takeaway and a film.

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-But not rom-com.

-Maybe a horror or a thriller.

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-Something which celebrates

-independent, strong people...

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-..who don't need a man or woman

-to fill a hole in their lives.

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-Hopefully, you have single friends.

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-You don't want to invite

-ones in a relationship.

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-It's their day.

-You don't want to be a third wheel.

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-We're all individuals

-and no-one's defined as a couple.

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-Apart from Kim and Kanye, Beyonce

-and Jay-Z, Burton and Taylor.

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-You know what I mean.

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-Remember, the chocolates, flowers

-and Prosecco...

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-..will be half price on Thursday.

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-Love you, bye! Oh, my fucking god,

-I'm so lonely.

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-This is like watching a monkey

-trying to open a banana.

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-Firefox?

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-Internet Firefox!

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-That's a browser.

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-Is it ping-pong?

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-Produced in 1983 by Grandstand

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-What am I meant to do?

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-What's fire? There's start.

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-I'm pushing it.

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-Is it broken? Does it work?

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-Hang on. Something's happened.

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-Am I just playing in demo?

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-This game is random.

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-What you do here doesn't influence

-anything on the screen.

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-This has baffled us.

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-This has baffled us.

-

-We don't understand it.

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-What's the objective?

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-Why is it moving about?

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-Graphics and songs

-were 'borrowed' from Star Wars

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-There's something weird on

-the right-hand side of the screen.

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-Light is reflecting but it's not

-the game. It's something random.

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-This is like watching a monkey

-trying to open a banana.

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-We're not doing very well at this.

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-It also 'borrowed'

-the music from Thunderbirds

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-It's not doing anything.

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-How do you play the game?!

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-How do you play the game?!

-

-I don't like this game!

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-He's figured it out.

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-You've got it.

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-Do I double tap it?

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-Oops.

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-What do you have to do?

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-What do you have to do?

-

-Shoot that guy.

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-I've lost patience with this

-and I haven't played it yet.

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-Haven't you played it yet?

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-Haven't you played it yet?

-

-No, and I've lost patience with it.

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-I know the premise

-of the game already.

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-There's not much to understand.

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-I like it.

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-I like it.

-

-It's quite cool.

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-It's OK for what it is.

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-It's OK for what it is.

-

-Exactly.

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-Hi, I'm Josh, a student from

-Caerphilly studying English...

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-..in England.

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-Like all students,

-I'm a bit short of cash.

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-Don't worry

-if you're feeling the pinch.

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-I have five ways to get rich quick.

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-One. Mining.

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-Specifically, bitcoin mining.

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-We all know that miners have had a

-rough time in Wales since the '80s.

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-Coal isn't the hot commodity

-that it was in the 20th century.

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-No, we're now mining online

-for cryptocurrencies.

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-You might be a little late

-for the party but give it a go.

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-Mining is in your blood.

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-Two. Make your money in Hollywood.

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-Specifically, sell Welsh ideas...

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-..to directors and studios

-in Hollywood.

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-Do you know about the Mari Lwyd?

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-The creepy horse skull that people

-use to knock on doors at Christmas?

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-This would be perfect

-to sell to Tim Burton.

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-Who else loves Christmas and skulls

-more than him?

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-The idea

-is worth billions of pounds.

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-Just don't cast Johnny Depp in it.

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-Three, start vlogging.

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-If you don't want to sell

-your ideas, how about filming them?

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-Vloggers make big bucks.

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-Most of them don't do anything.

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-I watched one of Zoella's vlogs

-for about half an hour...

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-..and she didn't do anything.

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-She just walked round

-her massive house and ate takeaway.

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-According to instyle.co.uk

-Zoella makes 50,000 a month!

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-A month! Easy money.

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-To make it more niche,

-why not vlog in Welsh?

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-You'll have a cushy job

-vlogging for Hansh in two weeks.

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-If Welsh videos aren't for you,

-number four is starting a band.

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-Being the new Super Furries.

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-You have to be able to sing...

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-..but, let's be honest, there are

-only about ten Welsh bands anyway.

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-I can only think of two or three

-off the top of my head.

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-There's no competition.

-The path to success is easy.

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-Step one - local gigs to get hype.

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-Two - support Breichiau Hir

-at Clwb Ifor.

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-Three - be included in a list

-on Wales Online.

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-Four - a sold out EP launch

-at the Gwdihw.

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-Five - be featured on Huw Stephens'

-radio show.

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-Step six - headline Maes B.

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-Number five. Yes, you can sing

-but who has the time to perform?

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-Chances are, if you can sing

-and you're from Wales...

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-..you can easily lay a claim

-on the Throne of Jones.

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-We all know that Tom Jones was

-a bit of a sex bomb back in the day.

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-Statistically, you could be a long-

-lost heir to Tom Jones' fortune.

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-Who will question it,

-even if it is total bull.

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-Be careful -

-it could all backfire...

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-..and every Tom, Dick and Harry

-will want a little bit of Tom Jones.

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-So that's it.

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-Five sure-fire ways of making money

-to fund your fancy life.

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-Try them and report back.

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-If all else fails,

-you could open a shop in Cardiff...

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-..selling I Love London T-shirts

-to Americans.

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-Don't try this at home!

-Filmed with experts' help

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-Britney. Britney Davies.

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-Game of Drones

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-One drone, no idea!

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-Six Nations challenge

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-Fetching crisps from the bar

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-Player = Steffan

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-Steff, fly the drone around

-my sophisticated obstacle course.

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-It'll prepare you so you'll be able

-to deal with Cardiff's busy pubs...

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-..when it's rammed and you can't get

-served, with people everywhere.

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-So you'll fly the drone

-around the people, to the bar...

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-..and pick up a packet of crisps.

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-Steff, are you ready?

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-Yes.

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-Yes.

-

-Let's go. Call me Gatland.

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-Around Britney Davies.

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-She's Jonathan Davies's sister.

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-Skilfully done on the wing.

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-Watch Britney!

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-Sorry, Britney!

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-Sorry, Britney!

-

-Kieran next. Around Kieran.

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-If you go around him once again,

-that's fine.

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-Well done.

-Very graceful through the middle.

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-George North would be proud of that.

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-You showed him who's boss.

-To the bar now.

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-Ooh, nice!

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-I'm almost there!

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-Sorry!

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-Well done, Steff. Well done!

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-I was almost there!

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-I've almost killed two cameramen.

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-Sorry.

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-This doesn't make a night out

-in Cardiff any easier.

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-Maybe we'd just have to queue.

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-After a little help

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-Well done!

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-Land in the circle.

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-Down we go.

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-Down we go.

-

-Almost.

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-That's good enough.

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-Success!

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-Congratulations, Steffan.

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-A drone with crisps.

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-Congratulations.

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-It's cool. It's me that was rubbish.

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-.

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-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-Do you remember this sound?

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-Or this one?

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-Let's reminisce about the golden age

-of the Web - the MSN years.

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-We have to start with the foundation

-of MSN Messenger - your email.

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-This was your opportunity

-to be as creative as possible.

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-Guaranteed you had something like

-princessfairy92

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-My sister's was...

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-Sorry, Elan!

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-Once you had

-your creative email address...

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-..it was important to be even more

-creative with your display name.

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-MSN - where everyone

-learnt their first lesson...

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-..about disappointment

-and frustration.

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-The message 'typing' hovering

-in the box would tease you for ages.

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-Ages.

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-Sometimes,

-the message wouldn't arrive.

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-If you took ages to write a message,

-this happened.

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-Emojis today are quite standard.

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-We know our old friends as the salsa

-woman or the aubergine or the poo.

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-In the days of MSN,

-it was Wild West for the emoji.

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-Who remembers these?

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-Not to mention the winks. Some

-things are better off left to die.

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-Is it an aim for the moon

-and you'll land among the stars day?

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-Guaranteed you included song lyrics

-some time in your name.

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-Or you put subtle things

-in your name just to annoy someone.

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-One girl's name at school was...

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-That wasn't subtle.

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-How could we forget about this?

0:12:500:12:52

-I did that so much.

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-It was used to avoid talking

-to that one annoying person.

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-A quick g2g and you were fine.

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-If that person you were avoiding

-found out...

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-This was probably

-the most-asked question on MSN.

0:13:080:13:11

-Seeing each other at school all day

-was obviously not enough.

0:13:120:13:15

-Everyone wanted to see each other

-through a webcam...

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-..talking shit at 3.00am -

-it's what I did anyway.

0:13:190:13:22

-MSN games. Remember them?

0:13:230:13:25

-Draughts, Minesweeper,

-Tic-Tac-Toe.

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-If quarrelling with your friends

-or sharing top fives...

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-..wasn't enough

-to keep you busy...

0:13:330:13:36

-..you could always quarrel with

-SmarterChild - Siri's mum or dad.

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-What are your favourite

-MSN throwbacks?

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-Put them in the comments

-below the video.

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-Oh...!

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-WINDOWS STARTUP SOUND

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-ALARM

0:17:410:17:43

-Who is Elon Musk?

0:17:510:17:53

-Does he want to save

-or control the world?

0:17:530:17:56

-You may have seen recently

-that Elon Musk's company, SpaceX...

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-..got the rocket Falcon Heavy

-to release a payload into space.

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-This is historic.

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-It means that it'll be easier for us

-to send satellites into orbit.

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-What else has Elon Musk done?

0:18:140:18:17

-His other company, Tesla,

-created a 100-megawatt battery...

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-..to combat outages in South

-Australia's electricity supply.

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-He promised it would be done

-in 100 days "or your money back".

0:18:260:18:30

-He succeeded.

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-Elon Musk sells flamethrowers too.

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-I'm not sure why.

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-It's sold by his third company...

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-..which bores holes,

-The Boring Company.

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-They also sell hats.

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-Mam and Dad, for my birthday,

-I want a flamethrower and a hat.

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-Though Elon Musk has invented

-rockets and flamethrowers...

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-..he's probably better known

-as the face of Tesla Motors.

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-Cars dreamt up by anyone who

-had Hot Wheels when they were small.

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-The Tesla Roadster, for example,

-can reach 0-60 in 1.9 seconds.

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-It has a top speed of 250mph.

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-All of this

-while running on electricity.

0:19:120:19:14

-The Falcon Heavy's job

-was to release a payload into space.

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-What did Elon Musk send into space?

0:19:190:19:21

-A Tesla Roadster.

-The guy's such a show-off.

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-He must be Tony Stark

-or some Bond villain.

0:19:250:19:28

-He's probably a Bond villain.

-Have you seen his mum?

0:19:280:19:31

-They both look

-like billionaire evil geniuses.

0:19:320:19:35

-Look at the dummy in the car.

-I'm pretty sure it's James Bond.

0:19:350:19:39

-That means Elon Musk

-has already won.

0:19:390:19:42

-No, Mr Bond, I expect you to fly.

0:19:420:19:45

-The truth is, Elon Musk is

-a very clever man from South Africa.

0:19:450:19:49

-Someone who's spent his life

-researching, working and dreaming.

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-Fair play to him.

-He deserves to celebrate.

0:19:550:19:58

-Let him play with flamethrowers.

0:19:580:20:00

-Having people like Elon Musk in the

-scientific world is so important...

0:20:010:20:05

-..to challenge everyone

-to strive, improve and develop...

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-..for the benefit of everyone.

0:20:090:20:12

-Quite simply,

-Elon Musk is a bloody legend.

0:20:120:20:15

-Bye!

0:20:150:20:16

-S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.

0:23:580:24:00

-.

0:24:000:24:00

Tiwns, comedi a lleisiau ffres. Blas o gynnwys arlein @hanshs4c. Tunes, comedy and fresh faces. A taste of online content @hanshs4c.