Pennod 33 Hansh


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Pennod 33

Tiwns, comedi a lleisiau ffres. Blas o gynnwys arlein @hanshs4c. Tunes, comedy and fresh faces. A taste of online content @hanshs4c.


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-"I'm glad to see Welsh

-on Facebook...

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-"..but the standard of the Welsh

-is terrible."

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-Cheers for that.

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-Connagh's response

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-Hello, Connagh here.

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-I did a video

-a couple of months ago...

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-..and I received a few comments and

-shit for the standard of my Welsh.

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-Thanks for the comments. The

-standard of my Welsh isn't the best.

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-But I try to use my Welsh

-every chance I get...

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-..because I'm proud to come from

-Wales and I'm proud to speak Welsh.

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-My family made the effort

-to learn and speak Welsh.

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-Unfortunately, I didn't grow up

-around other Welsh speakers.

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-Where I live,

-not everyone speaks Welsh.

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-I don't get many opportunities

-to use it.

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-I would've thought people

-would be pleased that I speak Welsh.

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-Should I not even try

-speaking Welsh?

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-I don't know what to say about that.

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-I'm not writing a Welsh thesis!

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-Sometimes, I can't think

-of the Welsh word quickly enough...

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-..so I use the English one.

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-When I speak to people from

-traditional Welsh-speaking areas...

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-..they speak Wenglish.

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-As Joker says,

-"Nobody bats an eyelid."

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-But because I come from Cardiff

-and I use Wenglish...

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-..for some reason, it's an issue.

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-There's a bit of elitism

-in the Welsh language.

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-I don't want to use the word

-snobbery.

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-Maybe people

-think they're better than you...

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-..because their Welsh is better.

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-Anyone who agreed

-or liked the comments...

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-..unfortunately,

-it does more harm than good.

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-People in my situation

-need more confidence...

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-..and more positivity

-to speak more Welsh, not less.

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-I have lots of friends

-who went to a Welsh school too...

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-..who think, "Fuck it.

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-"What's the point speaking Welsh

-if we get shit?"

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-"If we want Welsh to survive,

-we have to praise learners...

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-"..not judge the standard

-of their language."

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-I don't want to end the video

-on a negative point.

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-Lots of people support

-what I'm trying to do.

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-If, like me, you get shit

-about the standard of your Welsh...

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-..I'm here to tell you not to worry.

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-As Bernie Mac said...

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-You don't have any Bryn Fon, do you?

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-I'd rather listen to cats fighting.

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-Alright? I'm back.

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-I had January off.

-It's a shit month anyway.

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-Welsh Language Music Day.

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-It reminded me of Mam-gu's funeral.

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-It was as if she was screaming at us

-from the afterlife.

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-We're obsessed with music!

-Tunes, tunes, tunes!

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-It's all we talk about.

-What about the other arts?

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-You know, porn.

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-Yes, porn.

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-The porn industry in Wales is dead.

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-No support.

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-We've not made a decent porno

-in ages.

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-It's Welsh Porno Day we need.

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-Use the hashtag when putting

-their efforts on Twitter.

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-That's lovely. Ride me like that.

-It's like a glove.

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-Hold on.

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-I think you have the heating on.

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-We deserve a cuppa now.

-I'll put this back in the toolbox.

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-Yes. Welsh Language Music Day.

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-A day when people

-used the hashtag to discuss...

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-..why the proper Welsh word,

-"cerddoriaeth", wasn't used.

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-I don't give a fuck.

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-I offered myself as spokesperson

-but they went for Huw Stephens.

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-Note to self, don't let Huw

-muscle in on Welsh Porno Day.

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-It might be a good idea.

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-The ones lacking imagination...

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-..reminded us that Dafydd Iwan

-is still alive.

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-The cool people told us that they

-like, or are obsessed by, Datblygu.

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-Well done.

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-What else? The Y Selar awards.

-Fucking land of song.

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-Land of nothing but song!

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-Nobody cares

-about the porn industry.

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-The ancient art.

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-The Y Selar awards

-were held last week.

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-An evening where Welsh musos come

-together to wank off Yws Gwynedd.

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-Ywain won the majority.

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-They were shit trophies again.

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-Pieces of wood

-with things stapled to them.

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-Who won Best Presenter?

-Huw Stephens, guaranteed. No?

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-Tudur Owen.

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-Best Presenter

-going to a middle-aged man...

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-..who isn't even in charge

-of the music on his own show.

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-"The chimpanzees

-live in a close community.

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-"The alpha male

-is the leader of the group.

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-"As the largest chimpanzee,

-he has first pick of everything.

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-"The rest know that."

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-Watch this. Put that down.

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-What, S4C?

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-As if.

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-Watch it.

-You might learn something.

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-"The tribe leader will issue a

-warning to any potential enemies...

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-"..by doing its business

-at the den entrance."

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-Eurgh!

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-I made them do that.

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-He does that

-to protect the lady monkeys.

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-"He does that

-to protect the females."

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-Told you.

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-"The benefits of his role

-in the group are obvious...

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-"..as the male chooses his female.

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-"With the rest of the tribe

-keeping a close eye...

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-"..the pair continue to copulate

-until the male has finished."

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-Is it your bedtime?

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-Is it your bedtime?

-

-It's still light.

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-It's night-time now. Go to bed.

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-It's night-time now. Go to bed.

-

-You wanted me to watch this.

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-"Though she sounds

-as if she's in terrible pain...

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-"..it's believed that the female

-in fact enjoys every second.

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-Is Songs Of Praise on?

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-Dad, it's only sex for God's sake.

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-We don't say that word up here,

-thank you very much.

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-If you don't like it,

-why did you invent it?

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-I had to do something

-so people could make babies.

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-"With one final shriek

-from the male...

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-"..the rest of the tribe

-know that the end is in sight."

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-Having sex didn't create me.

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-I know. You were different.

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-"With the mating over,

-the male can relax.

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-"He then rattles the next female."

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-Caryl Parry Jones cancelled.

-Gutted. Snow.

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-But I have a replacement.

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-Can we have a single on Caryl?

-Ger brought that from home.

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-Didn't you, Ger?

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-Didn't you, Ger?

-

-Yes.

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-I wrote some jokes for Caryl

-Parry Jones. I'll try them now.

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-It's a shame to waste them.

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-Alright, Caryl?

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-Caryl, Caryl, Caryl.

-Caryl Parry Jones.

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-How are the girls?

-A single on Caryl.

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-Fine, thanks, Gareth.

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-Miriam is busy. Greta too.

-A single on Gareth.

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-The Eden girls, I meant.

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-To keep up the pace, please welcome

-the carpenter, Yws Gwynedd.

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-Come in, Yws.

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-Alright?

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-Alright?

-

-Alright? Give him a clap.

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-A live audience.

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-Alright?

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-Alright?

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-How's it going?

-Take a seat by Caryl.

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-It's a bit weird, isn't it?

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-Don't touch her.

-Ger will be jealous.

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-I don't want to touch her after Ger.

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-Song no.4. Run VT.

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-That's not the photo!

-It's from my private collection.

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-Right, song no.4.

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-I liked your jacket in the photo

-before we carry on.

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-It was nice.

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-Where did you get it from?

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-From the props storage.

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-I was bored

-by this point in the competition.

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-Cofio Hedd Wyn by Erfyl Owen.

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-It was performed

-by his son Harri and Ceidwad Y Gan.

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-"Like that lad from Trawsfynydd,

-he thought he was cool

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-"Joining the army

-and being killed like some fool"

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-Rap.

0:09:480:09:49

-Rap, I said.

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-Rap.

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-What did you think?

0:09:550:09:56

-What did you think?

-

-That wasn't the rap.

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-Yes. Pretty much.

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-I think I nailed it.

0:10:000:10:01

-What do you think of rap in a song?

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-Interesting.

0:10:060:10:07

-The song was lovely too.

0:10:080:10:11

-It was, wasn't it?

0:10:110:10:12

-Have you got any views on it?

0:10:120:10:15

-It's a song.

0:10:150:10:16

-Yws, you've already done this!

0:10:170:10:19

-You do it for all of them -

-"It's a song."

0:10:200:10:23

-Who are you scared of offending?

0:10:230:10:24

-Who are you scared of offending?

-

-I'm not scared of offending anyone.

0:10:240:10:27

-I just prefer not to.

0:10:270:10:28

-I just prefer not to.

-

-Can you get rid of Caryl?

0:10:280:10:30

-Put her behind the sofa.

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-Put her behind the sofa.

-

-I like her hair.

0:10:310:10:33

-It's similar to Ragsy's hair.

0:10:330:10:35

-It's similar to yours.

0:10:350:10:37

-Is that more creepy?!

0:10:370:10:38

-It's really creepy now.

0:10:390:10:42

-Oh, my gosh!

0:10:430:10:45

-Just leave it.

-I don't know what else to do.

0:10:460:10:50

-.

0:10:530:10:54

-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-

-Subtitles

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-Do you know what I've

-half-enjoyed on TV recently?

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-Fferm Ffactor.

0:11:040:11:05

-It's usually shit.

0:11:060:11:07

-If watching farmers farm

-was interesting, we'd be Hollywood!

0:11:080:11:12

-They've cottoned on

-that watching incompetent people...

0:11:120:11:16

-..is more of a laugh.

0:11:170:11:18

-Heno is proof of that.

0:11:180:11:20

-Radio Cymru and Gwilym Owen made

-a fuss because it included celebs.

0:11:210:11:24

-Chill out, Gwil, you tool!

0:11:250:11:27

-It's only people

-fucking about on a farm.

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-Anyway, the celebs were Dyl Mei,

-who looks the part.

0:11:300:11:33

-This is him tasting a pig's tail.

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-He has an excellent sense of taste

-and smell.

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-I gave him a pair

-of Geth and Ger's pants once.

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-He could tell the difference

-straightaway. Impressive.

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-Rhys Ifans's brother. Fair play.

0:11:460:11:49

-Rhys Ifans is probably in a hot tub

-somewhere shagging an A-lister.

0:11:490:11:53

-But who's having the best time?

0:11:540:11:55

-But who's having the best time?

-

-Come now, girls.

0:11:550:11:56

-Who's she? Sian Lloyd was there too.

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-She looks and talks more like

-one of the Ab Fab women every year.

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-But she got stuck in, fair play.

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-But she got stuck in, fair play.

-

-Testicles?

0:12:060:12:07

-It's almost like a pate.

0:12:070:12:09

-I may act like a yokel,

-I come from the west...

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-..but the truth is,

-I'm incompetent.

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-Serious.

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-Useless.

0:12:180:12:19

-I'm talking about a Radio Cymru 2

-level of uselessness.

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-But I'm good value.

0:12:250:12:27

-As a tribute to yokels...

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-..before they have to diversify

-flat out after Brexit...

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-..and turn every farm into

-a fucking theme park, here you go.

0:12:330:12:38

-Bry's tips

-on how to be a proper yokel.

0:12:380:12:41

-Speaking clearly is overrated.

0:12:420:12:44

-I said, "How much is it?

-She said, "20."

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-"I said, fucking hell! How big

-is it? That's too expensive!"

0:12:490:12:53

-English is overrated

-apart from when you count.

0:12:530:12:58

-22, please.

-In Welsh? I'm talking Welsh!

0:12:580:13:01

-22. What's wrong with you?

0:13:010:13:03

-You have to get up early

-even after being out on the piss.

0:13:040:13:08

-ALARM

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-Tell that cow to milk herself.

0:13:110:13:12

-Don't be too fussy.

0:13:130:13:15

-Fuck it. That'll do.

0:13:160:13:17

-That'll do.

0:13:180:13:20

-Yokels own the road.

0:13:210:13:23

-He isn't moving. He's stopped.

0:13:250:13:27

-Go back. Go back.

0:13:280:13:30

-Shift! Reverse!

0:13:310:13:33

-Have you seen the size

-of my wheels?! I'll go over you!

0:13:330:13:37

-Is that a four-wheel drive?

-No, so don't waste my time!

0:13:370:13:40

-There's a specific way

-of spending cash.

0:13:410:13:44

-A new kitchen? Don't be so soft!

-I haven't bought my sixth 4x4 yet.

0:13:440:13:48

-Samuel, you've got this shining.

0:13:480:13:51

-Is it a four-wheel drive?

0:13:510:13:54

-No, so don't waste my fucking time.

0:13:540:13:58

-A holiday? Abroad? We've just

-come back from the Royal Welsh Show!

0:13:580:14:02

-Prices are different.

0:14:020:14:05

-You want 11,358.43 for this?

0:14:060:14:09

-Take VAT for starters.

0:14:090:14:11

-That's 9,465.36p.

0:14:110:14:14

-The VAT on that is 1,100.23p.

0:14:140:14:16

-I'll work out 20% off anything.

0:14:160:14:19

-837.23p?

0:14:190:14:20

-697.69p for me, good boy.

0:14:200:14:23

-I know I'm right.

0:14:230:14:25

-Some normal things aren't normal.

0:14:250:14:29

-There's a fucking cat there!

-Samuel, there's a cat there!

0:14:310:14:35

-Cats shouldn't be indoors.

0:14:350:14:38

-Take him out. Fucking skunk.

0:14:380:14:40

-It's clean. I only removed dung

-from a sheep's arse. It's spotless!

0:14:410:14:45

-There you are. Yokels. Heroes.

0:14:460:14:49

-Right. Bread and jam.

0:14:500:14:52

-There's something we all use

-every day that kills the planet.

0:15:020:15:07

-Welcome to the plantation.

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-I'm Mari. I'm 25.

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-During my lifetime, Indonesia

-has lost half its rainforest.

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-Last year, I travelled there from

-Wales to tell the story of one oil.

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-Palm oil.

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-Bad oil.

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-84% of the world's palm oil is

-produced in Indonesia and Malaysia.

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-A piece of rainforest

-the size of Wales...

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-..is turned into

-a palm oil plantation every year.

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-Since 1990, the country has lost

-31 million hectares to the industry.

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-Burning the forest is the

-quickest way of clearing the land.

0:15:460:15:50

-I'm in a palm oil plantation

-in northern Sumatra.

0:15:500:15:53

-What is palm oil?

0:15:530:15:55

-Palm oil is a cheap oil

-used in 1/10 products...

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-..in our supermarkets at home.

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-Anything in a packet is likely

-to include palm oil.

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-We eat it every day,

-wash with it...

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-..and fill our cars with it,

-if you use biofuel.

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-It's in our shampoos, toothpastes,

-cakes and biscuits.

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-The reason why is it's a cheap oil

-for big companies.

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-On food labels, they have to say

-that it includes palm oil.

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-In anything else, it's hidden

-under loads of chemical names.

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-Huge companies make unforgivable

-profit on this industry.

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-An industry that drains Indonesia

-of its natural resources.

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-In the end,

-it'll turn their land into a desert.

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-Land that was a rainforest...

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-..and was one of the most

-biodiverse places on the planet.

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-I'm in a palm oil plantation.

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-The national park starts

-just in front of me.

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-This is how close the industry

-pushes the boundaries...

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-..with a forest

-that is supposed to be protected.

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-This industry is booming

-because there's a market for it.

0:17:140:17:18

-There are community plantations but

-also ones on an industrial scale...

0:17:180:17:23

-..which need to be stopped.

0:17:240:17:26

-They erode the land...

0:17:260:17:28

-..damage the environment...

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-..and pollute the rivers.

0:17:310:17:33

-This is the centre of Kalimantan.

0:17:330:17:36

-There's a palm oil plantation.

0:17:360:17:38

-The white part

-is where a jungle used to be.

0:17:380:17:41

-Land that would've been so fertile

-now a desert.

0:17:410:17:45

-But what makes a palm oil plantation

-so different to the jungle?

0:17:460:17:50

-Rainforest are balanced ecosystems.

0:17:510:17:53

-The canopy

-shelters the ground underneath.

0:17:540:17:58

-It creates moist conditions...

0:17:580:18:00

-..which keeps water and nutrients

-in the ground.

0:18:000:18:03

-That means that the topsoil

-is full of nitrogen and nutrients.

0:18:040:18:09

-Once that's gone, once the forest

-has been cut down...

0:18:090:18:12

-..the land that's left is barren.

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-That's the land that the palm oil

-is grown on.

0:18:150:18:18

-The industry is due to treble

-by 2050

0:18:190:18:22

-This catastrophe

-is happening in our generation.

0:18:220:18:25

-The industry is making the rich

-richer and the poor poorer.

0:18:250:18:29

-But the price that the next

-generation will have to pay...

0:18:290:18:33

-..for this cheap oil

-will be terribly expensive.

0:18:330:18:36

-Bad oil.

0:18:360:18:38

-Don't try this at home!

-Filmed with experts' help.

0:18:410:18:44

-Game of Drones

0:18:530:18:55

-One drone, no idea!

0:18:580:19:01

-The challenge...

0:19:010:19:03

-..winning Steff's rent money!

0:19:030:19:05

-I hope Mam and Dad

-don't see me doing this!

0:19:060:19:09

-This is my rent money.

0:19:140:19:17

-Do you want to win it?

0:19:170:19:19

-We'll pop it in the balloon.

0:19:190:19:22

-You're going to try and pop it

-and win the cash.

0:19:220:19:25

-Incredible. I've never seen such

-generosity from a Ceredigion man.

0:19:250:19:29

-You're not going to succeed.

0:19:290:19:31

-It's a chance for a Northwalian

-to win a Southwalian's money.

0:19:320:19:36

-I can't wait.

0:19:360:19:37

-Perfect.

0:19:380:19:40

-Gwyn, are you ready?

0:19:400:19:41

-Gwyn, are you ready?

-

-Ready.

0:19:410:19:42

-One Northwalian, one drone,

-15 balloons. One minute starts now.

0:19:430:19:47

-Can you do it again? No chance!

0:19:520:19:55

-You're on 10 now so you're OK.

0:19:550:19:58

-There we are.

-You're very close to the balloons.

0:20:020:20:06

-Everything's going well.

0:20:060:20:07

-Everything's going well.

-

-I've broken the drone!

0:20:070:20:08

-It's fine. Cut.

0:20:090:20:11

-Take two.

0:20:110:20:14

-Come on, Gwyn!

0:20:160:20:17

-You've done it!

0:20:200:20:21

-10. Another one! 20.

0:20:210:20:23

-Do we have to carry on?

0:20:240:20:27

-I thought it would be a bit harder.

0:20:270:20:30

-Stay over there.

0:20:310:20:32

-There are no balloons over there.

0:20:320:20:34

-There are no balloons over there.

-

-Shut it.

0:20:340:20:36

-Three in a row!

0:20:410:20:43

-Triple hit!

0:20:430:20:45

-Gwyn wins!

0:20:460:20:48

-Double or quits?!

0:20:480:20:49

-Give me your money!

0:20:500:20:52

-Ten, twenty, thirty, forty...

0:20:550:20:59

-..fifty, sixty, seventy,

-eighty pounds.

0:20:590:21:03

-Fair play.

0:21:030:21:05

-From a West Wales man. Thank you.

0:21:050:21:07

-Can I go home?

0:21:070:21:08

-Can I go home?

-

-Yes.

0:21:080:21:09

-Would you like me

-to buy you a drink?

0:21:090:21:11

-Keep the bloody money.

0:21:120:21:13

-I've never had 10p from him before

-but here's 80.

0:21:140:21:17

-Don't!

0:21:180:21:19

-Give it back!

0:21:200:21:20

-Give it back!

-

-No!

0:21:200:21:21

-OK.

0:21:240:21:25

-Cue music.

0:21:370:21:38

-Gareth the orang-utan.

0:21:390:21:40

-Popping to the shop.

0:21:430:21:45

-Does anyone want anything?

0:21:480:21:49

-I can buy you something

-from the shop.

0:21:500:21:52

-Shop, shop, shop.

0:21:520:21:54

-Popping to the shop.

0:21:550:21:56

-# I'm going to the shop

0:21:580:22:02

-# I'm going to buy things

-from the shop

0:22:030:22:07

-# I'm going to buy crisps and pop

0:22:080:22:12

-# I'm going for a walk to the shop #

0:22:130:22:17

-Going to the shop. 2018.

0:22:190:22:22

-Welsh rock scene.

0:22:220:22:24

-Off to the shop

-with my hard-earned wages.

0:22:250:22:29

-Spending my pocket money.

0:22:300:22:32

-Buying sweets and so on.

0:22:330:22:35

-And other things.

0:22:370:22:38

-# I'm going to the shop

0:22:390:22:42

-# I'm walking down the street

-to the shop

0:22:430:22:48

-# Gareth is the best

0:22:480:22:53

-# I'm popping to the shop

0:22:530:22:57

-# Gareth the orang-utan

0:23:000:23:02

-# I love going to the shop

0:23:020:23:03

-# Gareth the orang-utan

0:23:050:23:07

-# I love going to the shop

0:23:070:23:08

-# Gareth the orang-utan

0:23:100:23:12

-# I love going to the shop

0:23:120:23:14

-# Gareth the orang-utan

0:23:150:23:17

-# I love going to the shop #

0:23:170:23:19

-S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.

0:23:340:23:37

Tiwns, comedi a lleisiau ffres. Blas o gynnwys arlein @hanshs4c. Tunes, comedy and fresh faces. A taste of online content @hanshs4c.