Pennod 33 Hansh

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-"I'm glad to see Welsh

-on Facebook...

-"..but the standard of the Welsh

-is terrible."

-Cheers for that.

-Connagh's response

-Hello, Connagh here.

-I did a video

-a couple of months ago...

-..and I received a few comments and

-shit for the standard of my Welsh.

-Thanks for the comments. The

-standard of my Welsh isn't the best.

-But I try to use my Welsh

-every chance I get...

-..because I'm proud to come from

-Wales and I'm proud to speak Welsh.

-My family made the effort

-to learn and speak Welsh.

-Unfortunately, I didn't grow up

-around other Welsh speakers.

-Where I live,

-not everyone speaks Welsh.

-I don't get many opportunities

-to use it.

-I would've thought people

-would be pleased that I speak Welsh.

-Should I not even try

-speaking Welsh?

-I don't know what to say about that.

-I'm not writing a Welsh thesis!

-Sometimes, I can't think

-of the Welsh word quickly enough...

-..so I use the English one.

-When I speak to people from

-traditional Welsh-speaking areas...

-..they speak Wenglish.

-As Joker says,

-"Nobody bats an eyelid."

-But because I come from Cardiff

-and I use Wenglish...

-..for some reason, it's an issue.

-There's a bit of elitism

-in the Welsh language.

-I don't want to use the word

-snobbery.

-Maybe people

-think they're better than you...

-..because their Welsh is better.

-Anyone who agreed

-or liked the comments...

-..unfortunately,

-it does more harm than good.

-People in my situation

-need more confidence...

-..and more positivity

-to speak more Welsh, not less.

-I have lots of friends

-who went to a Welsh school too...

-..who think, "Fuck it.

-"What's the point speaking Welsh

-if we get shit?"

-"If we want Welsh to survive,

-we have to praise learners...

-"..not judge the standard

-of their language."

-I don't want to end the video

-on a negative point.

-Lots of people support

-what I'm trying to do.

-If, like me, you get shit

-about the standard of your Welsh...

-..I'm here to tell you not to worry.

-As Bernie Mac said...

-You don't have any Bryn Fon, do you?

-I'd rather listen to cats fighting.

-Alright? I'm back.

-I had January off.

-It's a shit month anyway.

-Welsh Language Music Day.

-It reminded me of Mam-gu's funeral.

-It was as if she was screaming at us

-from the afterlife.

-We're obsessed with music!

-Tunes, tunes, tunes!

-It's all we talk about.

-What about the other arts?

-You know, porn.

-Yes, porn.

-The porn industry in Wales is dead.

-No support.

-We've not made a decent porno

-in ages.

-It's Welsh Porno Day we need.

-Use the hashtag when putting

-their efforts on Twitter.

-That's lovely. Ride me like that.

-It's like a glove.

-Hold on.

-I think you have the heating on.

-We deserve a cuppa now.

-I'll put this back in the toolbox.

-Yes. Welsh Language Music Day.

-A day when people

-used the hashtag to discuss...

-..why the proper Welsh word,

-"cerddoriaeth", wasn't used.

-I don't give a fuck.

-I offered myself as spokesperson

-but they went for Huw Stephens.

-Note to self, don't let Huw

-muscle in on Welsh Porno Day.

-It might be a good idea.

-The ones lacking imagination...

-..reminded us that Dafydd Iwan

-is still alive.

-The cool people told us that they

-like, or are obsessed by, Datblygu.

-Well done.

-What else? The Y Selar awards.

-Fucking land of song.

-Land of nothing but song!

-Nobody cares

-about the porn industry.

-The ancient art.

-The Y Selar awards

-were held last week.

-An evening where Welsh musos come

-together to wank off Yws Gwynedd.

-Ywain won the majority.

-They were shit trophies again.

-Pieces of wood

-with things stapled to them.

-Who won Best Presenter?

-Huw Stephens, guaranteed. No?

-Tudur Owen.

-Best Presenter

-going to a middle-aged man...

-..who isn't even in charge

-of the music on his own show.

-"The chimpanzees

-live in a close community.

-"The alpha male

-is the leader of the group.

-"As the largest chimpanzee,

-he has first pick of everything.

-"The rest know that."

-Watch this. Put that down.

-What, S4C?

-As if.

-Watch it.

-You might learn something.

-"The tribe leader will issue a

-warning to any potential enemies...

-"..by doing its business

-at the den entrance."

-Eurgh!

-I made them do that.

-He does that

-to protect the lady monkeys.

-"He does that

-to protect the females."

-Told you.

-"The benefits of his role

-in the group are obvious...

-"..as the male chooses his female.

-"With the rest of the tribe

-keeping a close eye...

-"..the pair continue to copulate

-until the male has finished."

-Is it your bedtime?

-Is it your bedtime?

-

-It's still light.

-It's night-time now. Go to bed.

-It's night-time now. Go to bed.

-

-You wanted me to watch this.

-"Though she sounds

-as if she's in terrible pain...

-"..it's believed that the female

-in fact enjoys every second.

-Is Songs Of Praise on?

-Dad, it's only sex for God's sake.

-We don't say that word up here,

-thank you very much.

-If you don't like it,

-why did you invent it?

-I had to do something

-so people could make babies.

-"With one final shriek

-from the male...

-"..the rest of the tribe

-know that the end is in sight."

-Having sex didn't create me.

-I know. You were different.

-"With the mating over,

-the male can relax.

-"He then rattles the next female."

-Caryl Parry Jones cancelled.

-Gutted. Snow.

-But I have a replacement.

-Can we have a single on Caryl?

-Ger brought that from home.

-Didn't you, Ger?

-Didn't you, Ger?

-

-Yes.

-I wrote some jokes for Caryl

-Parry Jones. I'll try them now.

-It's a shame to waste them.

-Alright, Caryl?

-Caryl, Caryl, Caryl.

-Caryl Parry Jones.

-How are the girls?

-A single on Caryl.

-Fine, thanks, Gareth.

-Miriam is busy. Greta too.

-A single on Gareth.

-The Eden girls, I meant.

-To keep up the pace, please welcome

-the carpenter, Yws Gwynedd.

-Come in, Yws.

-Alright?

-Alright?

-

-Alright? Give him a clap.

-A live audience.

-Alright?

-Alright?

-How's it going?

-Take a seat by Caryl.

-It's a bit weird, isn't it?

-Don't touch her.

-Ger will be jealous.

-I don't want to touch her after Ger.

-Song no.4. Run VT.

-That's not the photo!

-It's from my private collection.

-Right, song no.4.

-I liked your jacket in the photo

-before we carry on.

-It was nice.

-Where did you get it from?

-From the props storage.

-I was bored

-by this point in the competition.

-Cofio Hedd Wyn by Erfyl Owen.

-It was performed

-by his son Harri and Ceidwad Y Gan.

-"Like that lad from Trawsfynydd,

-he thought he was cool

-"Joining the army

-and being killed like some fool"

-Rap.

-Rap, I said.

-Rap.

-What did you think?

-What did you think?

-

-That wasn't the rap.

-Yes. Pretty much.

-I think I nailed it.

-What do you think of rap in a song?

-Interesting.

-The song was lovely too.

-It was, wasn't it?

-Have you got any views on it?

-It's a song.

-Yws, you've already done this!

-You do it for all of them -

-"It's a song."

-Who are you scared of offending?

-Who are you scared of offending?

-

-I'm not scared of offending anyone.

-I just prefer not to.

-I just prefer not to.

-

-Can you get rid of Caryl?

-Put her behind the sofa.

-Put her behind the sofa.

-

-I like her hair.

-It's similar to Ragsy's hair.

-It's similar to yours.

-Is that more creepy?!

-It's really creepy now.

-Oh, my gosh!

-Just leave it.

-I don't know what else to do.

-.

-Subtitles

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-Do you know what I've

-half-enjoyed on TV recently?

-Fferm Ffactor.

-It's usually shit.

-If watching farmers farm

-was interesting, we'd be Hollywood!

-They've cottoned on

-that watching incompetent people...

-..is more of a laugh.

-Heno is proof of that.

-Radio Cymru and Gwilym Owen made

-a fuss because it included celebs.

-Chill out, Gwil, you tool!

-It's only people

-fucking about on a farm.

-Anyway, the celebs were Dyl Mei,

-who looks the part.

-This is him tasting a pig's tail.

-He has an excellent sense of taste

-and smell.

-I gave him a pair

-of Geth and Ger's pants once.

-He could tell the difference

-straightaway. Impressive.

-Rhys Ifans's brother. Fair play.

-Rhys Ifans is probably in a hot tub

-somewhere shagging an A-lister.

-But who's having the best time?

-But who's having the best time?

-

-Come now, girls.

-Who's she? Sian Lloyd was there too.

-She looks and talks more like

-one of the Ab Fab women every year.

-But she got stuck in, fair play.

-But she got stuck in, fair play.

-

-Testicles?

-It's almost like a pate.

-I may act like a yokel,

-I come from the west...

-..but the truth is,

-I'm incompetent.

-Serious.

-Useless.

-I'm talking about a Radio Cymru 2

-level of uselessness.

-But I'm good value.

-As a tribute to yokels...

-..before they have to diversify

-flat out after Brexit...

-..and turn every farm into

-a fucking theme park, here you go.

-Bry's tips

-on how to be a proper yokel.

-Speaking clearly is overrated.

-I said, "How much is it?

-She said, "20."

-"I said, fucking hell! How big

-is it? That's too expensive!"

-English is overrated

-apart from when you count.

-22, please.

-In Welsh? I'm talking Welsh!

-22. What's wrong with you?

-You have to get up early

-even after being out on the piss.

-ALARM

-Tell that cow to milk herself.

-Don't be too fussy.

-Fuck it. That'll do.

-That'll do.

-Yokels own the road.

-He isn't moving. He's stopped.

-Go back. Go back.

-Shift! Reverse!

-Have you seen the size

-of my wheels?! I'll go over you!

-Is that a four-wheel drive?

-No, so don't waste my time!

-There's a specific way

-of spending cash.

-A new kitchen? Don't be so soft!

-I haven't bought my sixth 4x4 yet.

-Samuel, you've got this shining.

-Is it a four-wheel drive?

-No, so don't waste my fucking time.

-A holiday? Abroad? We've just

-come back from the Royal Welsh Show!

-Prices are different.

-You want 11,358.43 for this?

-Take VAT for starters.

-That's 9,465.36p.

-The VAT on that is 1,100.23p.

-I'll work out 20% off anything.

-837.23p?

-697.69p for me, good boy.

-I know I'm right.

-Some normal things aren't normal.

-There's a fucking cat there!

-Samuel, there's a cat there!

-Cats shouldn't be indoors.

-Take him out. Fucking skunk.

-It's clean. I only removed dung

-from a sheep's arse. It's spotless!

-There you are. Yokels. Heroes.

-Right. Bread and jam.

-There's something we all use

-every day that kills the planet.

-Welcome to the plantation.

-I'm Mari. I'm 25.

-During my lifetime, Indonesia

-has lost half its rainforest.

-Last year, I travelled there from

-Wales to tell the story of one oil.

-Palm oil.

-Bad oil.

-84% of the world's palm oil is

-produced in Indonesia and Malaysia.

-A piece of rainforest

-the size of Wales...

-..is turned into

-a palm oil plantation every year.

-Since 1990, the country has lost

-31 million hectares to the industry.

-Burning the forest is the

-quickest way of clearing the land.

-I'm in a palm oil plantation

-in northern Sumatra.

-What is palm oil?

-Palm oil is a cheap oil

-used in 1/10 products...

-..in our supermarkets at home.

-Anything in a packet is likely

-to include palm oil.

-We eat it every day,

-wash with it...

-..and fill our cars with it,

-if you use biofuel.

-It's in our shampoos, toothpastes,

-cakes and biscuits.

-The reason why is it's a cheap oil

-for big companies.

-On food labels, they have to say

-that it includes palm oil.

-In anything else, it's hidden

-under loads of chemical names.

-Huge companies make unforgivable

-profit on this industry.

-An industry that drains Indonesia

-of its natural resources.

-In the end,

-it'll turn their land into a desert.

-Land that was a rainforest...

-..and was one of the most

-biodiverse places on the planet.

-I'm in a palm oil plantation.

-The national park starts

-just in front of me.

-This is how close the industry

-pushes the boundaries...

-..with a forest

-that is supposed to be protected.

-This industry is booming

-because there's a market for it.

-There are community plantations but

-also ones on an industrial scale...

-..which need to be stopped.

-They erode the land...

-..damage the environment...

-..and pollute the rivers.

-This is the centre of Kalimantan.

-There's a palm oil plantation.

-The white part

-is where a jungle used to be.

-Land that would've been so fertile

-now a desert.

-But what makes a palm oil plantation

-so different to the jungle?

-Rainforest are balanced ecosystems.

-The canopy

-shelters the ground underneath.

-It creates moist conditions...

-..which keeps water and nutrients

-in the ground.

-That means that the topsoil

-is full of nitrogen and nutrients.

-Once that's gone, once the forest

-has been cut down...

-..the land that's left is barren.

-That's the land that the palm oil

-is grown on.

-The industry is due to treble

-by 2050

-This catastrophe

-is happening in our generation.

-The industry is making the rich

-richer and the poor poorer.

-But the price that the next

-generation will have to pay...

-..for this cheap oil

-will be terribly expensive.

-Bad oil.

-Don't try this at home!

-Filmed with experts' help.

-Game of Drones

-One drone, no idea!

-The challenge...

-..winning Steff's rent money!

-I hope Mam and Dad

-don't see me doing this!

-This is my rent money.

-Do you want to win it?

-We'll pop it in the balloon.

-You're going to try and pop it

-and win the cash.

-Incredible. I've never seen such

-generosity from a Ceredigion man.

-You're not going to succeed.

-It's a chance for a Northwalian

-to win a Southwalian's money.

-I can't wait.

-Perfect.

-Gwyn, are you ready?

-Gwyn, are you ready?

-

-Ready.

-One Northwalian, one drone,

-15 balloons. One minute starts now.

-Can you do it again? No chance!

-You're on 10 now so you're OK.

-There we are.

-You're very close to the balloons.

-Everything's going well.

-Everything's going well.

-

-I've broken the drone!

-It's fine. Cut.

-Take two.

-Come on, Gwyn!

-You've done it!

-10. Another one! 20.

-Do we have to carry on?

-I thought it would be a bit harder.

-Stay over there.

-There are no balloons over there.

-There are no balloons over there.

-

-Shut it.

-Three in a row!

-Triple hit!

-Gwyn wins!

-Double or quits?!

-Give me your money!

-Ten, twenty, thirty, forty...

-..fifty, sixty, seventy,

-eighty pounds.

-Fair play.

-From a West Wales man. Thank you.

-Can I go home?

-Can I go home?

-

-Yes.

-Would you like me

-to buy you a drink?

-Keep the bloody money.

-I've never had 10p from him before

-but here's 80.

-Don't!

-Give it back!

-Give it back!

-

-No!

-OK.

-Cue music.

-Gareth the orang-utan.

-Popping to the shop.

-Does anyone want anything?

-I can buy you something

-from the shop.

-Shop, shop, shop.

-Popping to the shop.

-# I'm going to the shop

-# I'm going to buy things

-from the shop

-# I'm going to buy crisps and pop

-# I'm going for a walk to the shop #

-Going to the shop. 2018.

-Welsh rock scene.

-Off to the shop

-with my hard-earned wages.

-Spending my pocket money.

-Buying sweets and so on.

-And other things.

-# I'm going to the shop

-# I'm walking down the street

-to the shop

-# Gareth is the best

-# I'm popping to the shop

-# Gareth the orang-utan

-# I love going to the shop

-# Gareth the orang-utan

-# I love going to the shop

-# Gareth the orang-utan

-# I love going to the shop

-# Gareth the orang-utan

-# I love going to the shop #

-S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.