Browse content similar to 27/02/2017. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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For many British men with family roots in the Indian subcontinent, | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
it's not that uncommon to head overseas for an arranged marriage. | 0:00:17 | 0:00:20 | |
But what happens when those relationships don't work out? | 0:00:20 | 0:00:23 | |
Well, the consequences for brides who are cast off by their British | 0:00:23 | 0:00:26 | |
husbands can be devastating. | 0:00:26 | 0:00:28 | |
Many will be shunned by their own communities, | 0:00:28 | 0:00:30 | |
and some are subjected to financial exploitation, domestic | 0:00:30 | 0:00:33 | |
slavery and physical abuse. | 0:00:33 | 0:00:36 | |
In this special programme, Chris Rogers meets outcast wives | 0:00:36 | 0:00:39 | |
who open up for the first time about their painful experiences, | 0:00:39 | 0:00:42 | |
and how they're trying to rebuild new lives | 0:00:42 | 0:00:43 | |
for themselves here in London. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:45 | |
He also travels to India to uncover the shocking scale of the problem. | 0:00:45 | 0:00:55 | |
Not a day has come in my life where you only feel that | 0:01:19 | 0:01:22 | |
you want to end this right now. | 0:01:22 | 0:01:32 | |
Sorry... | 0:01:32 | 0:01:33 | |
Breaking the wall of silence - | 0:01:33 | 0:01:35 | |
The wives separated from their husbands, | 0:01:35 | 0:01:36 | |
shunned by their communities and treated as tainted goods. | 0:01:36 | 0:01:38 | |
The moment their daughter has been left by her husband, | 0:01:38 | 0:01:41 | |
her status becomes zero, nil! | 0:01:41 | 0:01:49 | |
The impact for women who are left, who are abandoned | 0:01:49 | 0:01:51 | |
is quite devastating. | 0:01:51 | 0:01:52 | |
It's leaving them almost in chains within their society. | 0:01:52 | 0:01:56 | |
With thousands of brides branded as outcasts, | 0:01:56 | 0:01:58 | |
we reveal the injustices and indignities many of them encounter. | 0:01:58 | 0:02:03 | |
They marry us, that bring us over, then they treat us like a dirty rag. | 0:02:03 | 0:02:09 | |
Ritu has just arrived from India. | 0:02:28 | 0:02:29 | |
She's embarking on an extraordinary personal mission to find | 0:02:29 | 0:02:31 | |
her estranged husband. | 0:02:31 | 0:02:39 | |
I am feeling a bit nervous as well as emotional, | 0:02:39 | 0:02:41 | |
as I have not seen this man since one and a half years. | 0:02:41 | 0:02:44 | |
I don't know how he will react when he sees me. | 0:02:44 | 0:02:54 | |
She's used up all her savings and put her teaching career on hold | 0:02:55 | 0:02:58 | |
to come to London and get out of a marriage in which | 0:02:58 | 0:03:01 | |
she feels abandoned. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:02 | |
I felt betrayed. | 0:03:02 | 0:03:03 | |
I felt that my whole world has been disturbed or shaken and shattered. | 0:03:03 | 0:03:13 | |
The wedding was very, very beautiful. | 0:03:13 | 0:03:15 | |
When the ceremony starts a lot of people coming in giving | 0:03:15 | 0:03:17 | |
you their blessings. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:24 | |
As you are posing for those photos, what is going through your mind? | 0:03:24 | 0:03:27 | |
You're happy, of course. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:28 | |
The day has come in your life when you got your life partner, | 0:03:28 | 0:03:31 | |
you're going to spend a life with him and it really feels, | 0:03:31 | 0:03:34 | |
you feel content inside. | 0:03:34 | 0:03:44 | |
In fact, Ritu barely knew her groom. | 0:03:50 | 0:03:52 | |
It was an arranged marriage and before exchanging vows she had | 0:03:52 | 0:03:55 | |
only ever met him for one single hour. | 0:03:55 | 0:03:59 | |
So, tell me about the first time you laid eyes on Vikram. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:02 | |
How did you feel? | 0:04:02 | 0:04:03 | |
How did you find him? | 0:04:03 | 0:04:04 | |
In India the arranged marriage is a really common concept, so... | 0:04:04 | 0:04:07 | |
Vikram had come to my place prior to the marriage was finalised, | 0:04:07 | 0:04:10 | |
prior one week before | 0:04:10 | 0:04:11 | |
the wedding and it was just a normal chat. | 0:04:11 | 0:04:13 | |
I mean, what's your likes and your dislikes? | 0:04:13 | 0:04:15 | |
What are your dreams of life? | 0:04:15 | 0:04:16 | |
And what he has been doing in London. | 0:04:16 | 0:04:18 | |
You're meeting a stranger for the first time, and he's | 0:04:18 | 0:04:21 | |
going to be a husband, so at the back of the mind... | 0:04:21 | 0:04:24 | |
You are nervous, you are excited, you are attracted towards him. | 0:04:24 | 0:04:33 | |
Ritu insists she did not feel pressured into the marriage, | 0:04:37 | 0:04:39 | |
but the wedding took place just 48 hours after they had met. | 0:04:39 | 0:04:46 | |
We literally had one day, me and my family and my | 0:04:46 | 0:04:49 | |
relatives, to prepare | 0:04:49 | 0:04:50 | |
the wedding as much as we could. | 0:04:50 | 0:04:52 | |
We arranged everything, the temple we'd | 0:04:52 | 0:04:53 | |
get married, the dinner after the wedding and everything. | 0:04:53 | 0:05:00 | |
The wedding night, was it what you hoped? | 0:05:00 | 0:05:06 | |
It didn't go well, to be frank. | 0:05:06 | 0:05:16 | |
Vikram had a flight early in the morning, so he left in the | 0:05:19 | 0:05:22 | |
midnight. | 0:05:22 | 0:05:23 | |
We did not even spend a night together. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:32 | |
After returning to the UK, he assured Ritu that he would | 0:05:32 | 0:05:34 | |
arrange for her to join him. | 0:05:34 | 0:05:36 | |
But within four months, the relationship became strained | 0:05:36 | 0:05:38 | |
and Ritu's visa application, which required her husband's | 0:05:38 | 0:05:40 | |
support, was never completed. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:41 | |
She now wants a divorce, but in India it is extremely | 0:05:41 | 0:05:43 | |
difficult to divorce an absent spouse. | 0:05:43 | 0:05:45 | |
She feels trapped in a meaningless marriage to a man she barely knows | 0:05:45 | 0:05:48 | |
and might never meet again. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:49 | |
Sometimes I have to really curse myself that why did | 0:05:49 | 0:05:52 | |
I take the decision, I could have taken some time. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:54 | |
I could have asked him not to get married so soon. | 0:05:54 | 0:05:57 | |
Not a day has come in my life where you really feel that | 0:05:57 | 0:06:00 | |
you want to end this now. | 0:06:00 | 0:06:01 | |
Sorry... | 0:06:01 | 0:06:02 | |
There are believed to be tens of thousands of women | 0:06:02 | 0:06:04 | |
left in limbo like Ritu. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:06 | |
Many are Brides from India, Pakistan and Bangladesh, | 0:06:06 | 0:06:08 | |
who claim they have been cast aside, abandoned, | 0:06:08 | 0:06:10 | |
by their British husbands. | 0:06:10 | 0:06:19 | |
For some of these wives, abandonment is just the final | 0:06:25 | 0:06:27 | |
incident in a relationship that was characterised | 0:06:27 | 0:06:29 | |
with abuse and deceit from even before the wedding. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:31 | |
During their marriage, many of these women are exploited | 0:06:31 | 0:06:34 | |
for financial gain, others are forced into domestic slavery | 0:06:34 | 0:06:36 | |
and some are even duped into giving up their children. | 0:06:36 | 0:06:44 | |
We are looking at thousands of women, so this is | 0:06:44 | 0:06:46 | |
not an insignificant number. | 0:06:46 | 0:06:47 | |
We're only beginning to touch and scratch | 0:06:47 | 0:06:49 | |
the surface of the problem. | 0:06:49 | 0:06:50 | |
But we see is a continuum of sexual violence that | 0:06:50 | 0:06:53 | |
have been subjected to, physical, sexual, financial, | 0:06:53 | 0:06:54 | |
emotional abuse and the end process is often abandonment. | 0:06:54 | 0:07:04 | |
Kulwant was bought to the UK from India by her British national | 0:07:42 | 0:07:45 | |
husband four years ago. | 0:07:45 | 0:07:46 | |
She says that as well as being treated as a domestic slave her | 0:07:46 | 0:07:49 | |
husband subjected her to violence every day. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:58 | |
In desperation, Kulwant says she eventually picked | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
up her son and ran away. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:55 | |
That was 18 months ago and ever since, her husband has | 0:08:55 | 0:08:58 | |
refused any contact with her. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:08 | |
Along with her son, Kulwant now lives in temporary accommodation | 0:09:12 | 0:09:14 | |
and with the help of a charity she's trying to rebuild her life. | 0:09:14 | 0:09:24 | |
I have travelled from London to Punjab, the north of India ? | 0:09:34 | 0:09:37 | |
it's the same journey that every year hundreds of Indian British | 0:09:37 | 0:09:39 | |
nationals make looking for a wife. | 0:09:39 | 0:09:41 | |
At a secret location in Chandigarh, the capital of Punjab, | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
a special meeting for women is being held. | 0:09:43 | 0:09:45 | |
Most of the women here are married to men from abroad and, | 0:09:45 | 0:09:48 | |
according to the head of the charity who organised this event, | 0:09:48 | 0:09:51 | |
many have something else in common ? their husbands have deserted them. | 0:09:51 | 0:10:01 | |
More and more girls are in such a big mess. | 0:10:14 | 0:10:16 | |
I see a lot of beautiful educated women, they are in a mess. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:19 | |
Generally, it's 15 case a month. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:21 | |
It's increasing. | 0:10:21 | 0:10:28 | |
In this region alone, the local authority estimates | 0:10:28 | 0:10:30 | |
that there are well over 15,000 abandoned wives. | 0:10:30 | 0:10:32 | |
Their husbands come from all over the world, but British men | 0:10:32 | 0:10:35 | |
are thought to account for over one-third of these cases | 0:10:35 | 0:10:37 | |
and for many of these grooms the motivation is not love, | 0:10:37 | 0:10:40 | |
it's money. | 0:10:40 | 0:10:43 | |
Usually, it's like this - he comes here and he asks | 0:10:43 | 0:10:46 | |
for massive money from the dowry and they marry, | 0:10:46 | 0:10:48 | |
the girls' parents give the dowry, he took the money, | 0:10:48 | 0:10:50 | |
he enjoys his honeymoon months and then, he never comes back. | 0:10:50 | 0:11:00 | |
Despite being outlawed since 1961, in India it is customary | 0:11:04 | 0:11:06 | |
for the bride's family to give money or gifts to the groom prior | 0:11:06 | 0:11:09 | |
to the wedding ceremony. | 0:11:10 | 0:11:11 | |
These dowries often amount to tens of thousands of pounds | 0:11:11 | 0:11:13 | |
and it doesn't end there! | 0:11:13 | 0:11:18 | |
A lot of women say that well after the marriage, | 0:11:18 | 0:11:20 | |
dowry demands continue, and, ultimately, when they cannot | 0:11:20 | 0:11:22 | |
meet dowry demands, they are abandoned. | 0:11:22 | 0:11:32 | |
In a rural village on the outskirts of Punjab, Kalmajit married a man | 0:11:36 | 0:11:39 | |
from Europe three years ago. | 0:11:39 | 0:11:41 | |
To pay for the dowry and the wedding, her father scraped | 0:11:41 | 0:11:43 | |
together almost all of his life savings. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:45 | |
Within days of accepting his hand in marriage, Kamaljit's | 0:11:45 | 0:11:47 | |
says her husband started complaining about the dowry. | 0:11:47 | 0:11:49 | |
Eventually, says Kalmajit, her husband abandoned her | 0:11:49 | 0:11:51 | |
and returned to Italy. | 0:11:51 | 0:11:52 | |
She claims he left her even though she was pregnant. | 0:11:52 | 0:11:54 | |
Just a few weeks later, Kalmajit's daughter died, | 0:11:54 | 0:11:56 | |
but even then she says her husband did not contact her. | 0:11:56 | 0:12:06 | |
Eventually, says Kalmajit, her husband abandoned her | 0:12:28 | 0:12:29 | |
and returned to Italy. | 0:12:29 | 0:12:30 | |
She claims he left her even though she was pregnant. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:32 | |
Just a few weeks later, Kalmajit's daughter died, | 0:13:08 | 0:13:10 | |
but even then she says her husband did not contact her. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:20 | |
Many women like Kalmajit still desperately hope to revive | 0:13:36 | 0:13:38 | |
marriages with husbands who have left them, because the alternative | 0:13:38 | 0:13:41 | |
carries a heavy stigma. | 0:13:41 | 0:13:42 | |
Life as an abandoned woman in India means | 0:13:42 | 0:13:44 | |
living as an outcast, an outcast wife. | 0:13:44 | 0:13:48 | |
The impact for women who are left, who are being abandoned, is quite | 0:13:48 | 0:13:51 | |
devastating, because it can affect her job prospects. | 0:13:51 | 0:13:53 | |
It can affect the way the community view her. | 0:13:53 | 0:13:56 | |
And the way they view their families as well. | 0:13:56 | 0:13:58 | |
It can affect, if she has children, how the children are seen, | 0:13:58 | 0:14:00 | |
how the children are raised, and if you come from very poor | 0:14:00 | 0:14:03 | |
environments, very poor families, then actually what that is doing | 0:14:03 | 0:14:06 | |
is adding additional pressure to the family and a sort | 0:14:06 | 0:14:08 | |
of additional reputation risk. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:13 | |
She feels she has no value and society makes it | 0:14:13 | 0:14:16 | |
sure she has no value. | 0:14:16 | 0:14:17 | |
The problem is that serious. | 0:14:17 | 0:14:18 | |
It could lead to a suicidal attempt. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:20 | |
And there have been hundreds of examples where parents | 0:14:20 | 0:14:22 | |
have committed suicide. | 0:14:22 | 0:14:32 | |
The dishonour of being branded as an abandoned wife is one | 0:14:38 | 0:14:41 | |
of the factors that propelled Ritu to come to London | 0:14:41 | 0:14:43 | |
in search of her husband. | 0:14:43 | 0:14:45 | |
If I have to talk about back in India, it is very difficult | 0:14:45 | 0:14:48 | |
to come out of this situation, you're kind of in a standstill, | 0:14:48 | 0:14:51 | |
you don't know where to go, what to do, how things will be. | 0:14:51 | 0:14:54 | |
First of all, it is a very bad thing the way people look at you. | 0:14:54 | 0:14:57 | |
You feel some shameful, that you have been betrayed, | 0:14:57 | 0:14:59 | |
left out by your husband. | 0:14:59 | 0:15:01 | |
You just don't want this part of your life now. | 0:15:01 | 0:15:09 | |
Ten days after arriving in London, Ritu's had no success | 0:15:09 | 0:15:11 | |
in tracking down her husband, so she's come to a woman's group, | 0:15:11 | 0:15:14 | |
seeking advice and support. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:15 | |
So, basically to sum it up, he doesn't want to know you. | 0:15:15 | 0:15:18 | |
Literally, you just want to end the relationship, but trying to find | 0:15:18 | 0:15:21 | |
the reason behind it, but at the end of the day you can't | 0:15:21 | 0:15:24 | |
go back, you can't move forward, you are stuck, stagnant. | 0:15:24 | 0:15:26 | |
That's a very horrible position to be in. | 0:15:26 | 0:15:28 | |
I think you cannot ever answers to the questions | 0:15:28 | 0:15:30 | |
you are looking for, because from what you said you can't | 0:15:30 | 0:15:33 | |
expect any sanity from him. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:43 | |
If she finds him, Ritu wants to ask her husband for a divorce. | 0:15:46 | 0:15:49 | |
But most wives left in India never get the opportunity to do this. | 0:15:49 | 0:15:52 | |
UK immigration rules prohibit them from entering the country. | 0:15:52 | 0:15:54 | |
She will have problems in serving him in England, | 0:15:54 | 0:15:56 | |
because she cannot come in as a visitor because she has | 0:15:56 | 0:15:59 | |
to disclose she has a husband and she is married to a British | 0:15:59 | 0:16:02 | |
national and once she discloses that she will be asked why aren't | 0:16:02 | 0:16:05 | |
you applying for a spousal visa, and a spousal visa needs | 0:16:05 | 0:16:07 | |
a husband support, so she is caught in catch 22. | 0:16:07 | 0:16:10 | |
Unable to obtain a divorce via the British courts, | 0:16:10 | 0:16:12 | |
abandoned wives must turn to the Indian judicial system. | 0:16:12 | 0:16:14 | |
Today, like every day, in Chandigarh, the legal office that | 0:16:14 | 0:16:16 | |
deals with marital issues is busy. | 0:16:17 | 0:16:18 | |
Some of the women and families here are desperately seeking | 0:16:18 | 0:16:20 | |
help to advance criminal and divorce proceedings against absent husbands. | 0:16:20 | 0:16:23 | |
After the wedding, when I arrived to London. | 0:16:23 | 0:16:25 | |
What happened? | 0:16:25 | 0:16:26 | |
He said I don't love you, I just like you. | 0:16:26 | 0:16:28 | |
He married me only because his parents told him to. | 0:16:28 | 0:16:30 | |
Then I found out that he has ditched me and left me. | 0:16:30 | 0:16:33 | |
After one week. | 0:16:33 | 0:16:34 | |
In India, it's been a year, since I've lodged a legal complaint. | 0:16:34 | 0:16:37 | |
He has committed the crime, he has ditched me but I am suffering here. | 0:16:37 | 0:16:47 | |
Getting a divorce from a spouse who lives abroad is a complex, | 0:17:25 | 0:17:28 | |
expensive process in India. | 0:17:28 | 0:17:29 | |
Some of the parents here have been trying to get | 0:17:29 | 0:17:32 | |
a resolution for their abandoned daughters for years. | 0:17:32 | 0:17:39 | |
Our legal system is little bit slow, it will take years and years to get | 0:18:00 | 0:18:04 | |
the decision. | 0:18:04 | 0:18:05 | |
There are a number of difficulties, of hurdles | 0:18:05 | 0:18:06 | |
for each and every step, and more over these girls don't have | 0:18:06 | 0:18:09 | |
is the money to pay for the legal system, even to go from one station | 0:18:09 | 0:18:13 | |
to the other for the documentation and there is no direct | 0:18:13 | 0:18:16 | |
legal system available, where she could apply | 0:18:16 | 0:18:17 | |
as in a domestic marriage, if it fails. | 0:18:17 | 0:18:27 | |
Abandoned wives are not only at the mercy of the courts when it | 0:18:35 | 0:18:39 | |
comes to obtaining a divorce - many face legal difficulties, | 0:18:39 | 0:18:41 | |
if their husbands take their children. | 0:18:41 | 0:18:51 | |
Six years ago, Sonali got married in Pakistan. | 0:18:52 | 0:18:54 | |
Her husband, a British national, arranged for her to come and live | 0:18:54 | 0:18:57 | |
with him and her in-laws in London. | 0:18:57 | 0:19:01 | |
I came here and I was seven months pregnant. | 0:19:01 | 0:19:03 | |
I was thinking everything would be fine and my life would be better | 0:19:03 | 0:19:06 | |
but they treated me like a slave or servant in their house | 0:19:06 | 0:19:09 | |
and they never allowed me to go outside. | 0:19:09 | 0:19:19 | |
Shortly after she had given birth, Sonali says her husband suggested | 0:19:22 | 0:19:25 | |
a family holiday back in Pakistan to help her recover. | 0:19:25 | 0:19:27 | |
On their second night abroad, he was out with friends but phoned | 0:19:27 | 0:19:30 | |
her with a strange demand. | 0:19:30 | 0:19:35 | |
My husband called me first and said, "I am coming to pick up my son | 0:19:35 | 0:19:39 | |
because a few relatives are coming from Karachi, the city in Pakistan, | 0:19:39 | 0:19:42 | |
and they need to see him." | 0:19:42 | 0:19:43 | |
He just took my son from me and I don't know why I was feeling | 0:19:43 | 0:19:53 | |
scared that time, I don't know, but I just called him again | 0:19:58 | 0:20:01 | |
and again, but suddenly his phone was switched off. | 0:20:01 | 0:20:07 | |
Eventually, Sonali realised her husband had been | 0:20:07 | 0:20:08 | |
deceiving her all along. | 0:20:08 | 0:20:09 | |
He had taken her three-month old baby and left the country. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:13 | |
I was thinking there is no reason to live. | 0:20:13 | 0:20:15 | |
I cry every day, every other minute. | 0:20:15 | 0:20:17 | |
Most of the time I start talking with his clothes. | 0:20:17 | 0:20:23 | |
When I went to sleep in the night, I put his clothes | 0:20:23 | 0:20:26 | |
with my pillow and no-one take him, because he is my son | 0:20:26 | 0:20:29 | |
and he is sleeping here. | 0:20:29 | 0:20:34 | |
My mother is like, "No this is not your son, | 0:20:34 | 0:20:37 | |
this is just his clothes." | 0:20:37 | 0:20:38 | |
Abandoned in Pakistan, Sonali had no clue how | 0:20:38 | 0:20:46 | |
she would access legal help to get her son back | 0:20:46 | 0:20:48 | |
until she came across the website of a UK based charity. | 0:20:48 | 0:20:52 | |
If there are children involved, there are some legal remedies | 0:20:52 | 0:20:54 | |
available, not easy, but there are. | 0:20:54 | 0:20:56 | |
Fortunately, that is a situation which the judiciary have woken up | 0:20:56 | 0:20:58 | |
to, there has been case developments that allow women even if they're | 0:20:58 | 0:21:01 | |
abandoned and abroad to bring proceedings here. | 0:21:01 | 0:21:06 | |
Southall Black Sisters secured a specialist family lawyer, | 0:21:06 | 0:21:12 | |
who made the child a ward of court and arranged for Sonali | 0:21:12 | 0:21:17 | |
to return to the UK, where her case was heard in the High Court. | 0:21:17 | 0:21:24 | |
The High Court has said, because it's a British national child, | 0:21:24 | 0:21:27 | |
and the best interest of the child are a paramount that the force | 0:21:27 | 0:21:30 | |
of the law should and could be used, so that the child could be reunited | 0:21:30 | 0:21:33 | |
with his mother, and the husband was in effect, ordered | 0:21:33 | 0:21:36 | |
to support her immigration application to allow her | 0:21:36 | 0:21:38 | |
to come back to the UK. | 0:21:38 | 0:21:41 | |
Sonali has been granted indefinite leave to remain in the UK under | 0:21:41 | 0:21:43 | |
the domestic violence act. | 0:21:44 | 0:21:48 | |
It means she will not have to return to Pakistan, | 0:21:48 | 0:21:58 | |
where abandoned wives and their children | 0:22:02 | 0:22:03 | |
are often persecuted. | 0:22:03 | 0:22:04 | |
Six weeks on, and Ritu still has not found her husband. | 0:22:04 | 0:22:07 | |
Her time in London is running out, but she's found a charity that | 0:22:07 | 0:22:10 | |
have agreed to offer her some general advice. | 0:22:10 | 0:22:12 | |
Have you had any contact with him? | 0:22:13 | 0:22:14 | |
No, I've not spoken to him yet. | 0:22:14 | 0:22:16 | |
I need to find out where he's staying, so up to now | 0:22:16 | 0:22:19 | |
I have not spoken to him. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:23 | |
Did you know what legal rights you had before you got to the UK? | 0:22:23 | 0:22:29 | |
No, I did not know anything. | 0:22:29 | 0:22:32 | |
The reason is that I wanted to know how far I can go in London | 0:22:32 | 0:22:36 | |
and will there be a closure to the relationship? | 0:22:36 | 0:22:40 | |
Will there be more quicker in London? | 0:22:40 | 0:22:42 | |
That was the main reason to come here. | 0:22:42 | 0:22:48 | |
So in an ideal world, What possible outcome | 0:22:48 | 0:22:50 | |
would you like from these discussions and these proceedings? | 0:22:50 | 0:22:54 | |
You cannot force anyone to love you and I really feel that | 0:22:54 | 0:22:57 | |
if he doesn't want to, we can come to a closure | 0:22:57 | 0:22:59 | |
and move ahead. | 0:22:59 | 0:23:00 | |
That's what I want to happen and the reason why I am here. | 0:23:00 | 0:23:03 | |
What we tend to do for our clients, is to create a positive action plan, | 0:23:03 | 0:23:07 | |
so we sit down and we say, "Right, this is where you are and this | 0:23:07 | 0:23:11 | |
is where you want to be. | 0:23:11 | 0:23:12 | |
How can we help you to get there?" | 0:23:12 | 0:23:22 | |
I appreciate that you are doing it, because at this point I feel | 0:23:23 | 0:23:26 | |
so isolated, and really want someone to talk to, | 0:23:26 | 0:23:28 | |
to just tell them what I am going through right now. | 0:23:28 | 0:23:31 | |
I feel like the emotions that are going into this process | 0:23:31 | 0:23:34 | |
are too much to carry on. | 0:23:34 | 0:23:39 | |
There are only a handful of charities that specifically | 0:23:39 | 0:23:42 | |
support women in Ritu's situation. | 0:23:42 | 0:23:48 | |
They have recently been overwhelmed with new cases, | 0:23:48 | 0:23:50 | |
triggering calls for more systematic help from Governments and legal | 0:23:50 | 0:23:52 | |
agencies across the globe. | 0:23:52 | 0:24:02 | |
What we want to see is a better harmonisation | 0:24:05 | 0:24:07 | |
of law, so that a woman | 0:24:07 | 0:24:08 | |
can be granted a divorce in one country and have it | 0:24:08 | 0:24:11 | |
recognised in another. | 0:24:11 | 0:24:12 | |
A woman can be granted a maintenance order in one country and have it | 0:24:12 | 0:24:15 | |
recognised in another, but also that governments and state agencies | 0:24:15 | 0:24:18 | |
cooperate so if a woman is denied a right by sending her to another | 0:24:18 | 0:24:21 | |
country, she is not stuck in international limbo. | 0:24:21 | 0:24:23 | |
Where a spousal visa is issued, we would wish to see a system | 0:24:23 | 0:24:26 | |
to where the HO is pro-active, at the end of the two year period, | 0:24:26 | 0:24:29 | |
if she has not made an application for indefinite leave to remain, | 0:24:29 | 0:24:32 | |
to take some steps to find her and ask her, "Why | 0:24:32 | 0:24:35 | |
haven't you applied, are you still in the UK and if | 0:24:35 | 0:24:37 | |
you're not still in the UK, why not?" | 0:24:37 | 0:24:39 | |
At least so she may become aware of her own rights. | 0:24:39 | 0:24:42 | |
Ritu has finally found an address for her estranged husband. | 0:24:42 | 0:24:44 | |
She decides that she wants to go there today. | 0:24:44 | 0:24:47 | |
I don't know how Vikram will react to it and I don't know how | 0:24:47 | 0:24:50 | |
I will hold my emotions. | 0:24:50 | 0:24:51 | |
I just want to know why my husband has abandon me from this marriage, | 0:24:51 | 0:24:55 | |
why doesn't he let go of the relationship. | 0:24:55 | 0:24:56 | |
So I really hope I get my answers today. | 0:24:56 | 0:25:06 | |
This is the first time Ritu will see her husband in over | 0:25:18 | 0:25:21 | |
eighteen months and due to the sensitivity of the situation, | 0:25:21 | 0:25:23 | |
we chose not to film it. | 0:25:23 | 0:25:25 | |
It was... | 0:25:25 | 0:25:26 | |
It was really sad that Vikram did not even recognise me. | 0:25:26 | 0:25:28 | |
He doesn't want to answer any of my questions. | 0:25:28 | 0:25:31 | |
In fact, the meeting was tense and her husband called the police. | 0:25:31 | 0:25:34 | |
I spoke to the police, they said, "You need to go to India | 0:25:34 | 0:25:37 | |
and get this sorted." | 0:25:37 | 0:25:39 | |
Now if the police can't help me, where will I go? | 0:25:39 | 0:25:42 | |
I was expecting that it will be worth coming here, | 0:25:42 | 0:25:44 | |
but I don't think so, because if I go back to India | 0:25:44 | 0:25:47 | |
again, I know that he will never, Vikram will never return, | 0:25:47 | 0:25:50 | |
will never come home to India to divorce me. | 0:25:50 | 0:25:52 | |
So, I don't know when this will end. | 0:25:52 | 0:25:54 | |
Ritu's husband denied all of her claims. | 0:25:54 | 0:26:02 | |
There are no second chances for her to speak to him in the UK. | 0:26:02 | 0:26:05 | |
Her flight back to India leaves tomorrow and she | 0:26:05 | 0:26:07 | |
cannot afford to return. | 0:26:07 | 0:26:08 | |
Unable to secure a divorce from their British husbands, | 0:26:08 | 0:26:14 | |
many south Asian wives resign themselves to a life of injustice. | 0:26:14 | 0:26:17 | |
A life where their chances of meeting another partner, | 0:26:17 | 0:26:23 | |
of having a level of respect in their communities are diminished. | 0:26:23 | 0:26:28 | |
Yet their British husbands face no such cultural barriers. | 0:26:28 | 0:26:34 | |
They are free to continue their lives | 0:26:34 | 0:26:36 | |
as they wish. | 0:26:36 | 0:26:44 | |
Ritu is leaving London. | 0:26:44 | 0:26:47 | |
She is departing without securing a divorce, but with hope and faith | 0:26:47 | 0:26:51 | |
that she will be able move forward with her life. | 0:26:51 | 0:27:01 | |
When I was getting the blessings, you feel that | 0:27:01 | 0:27:03 | |
inner strength in you, and you feel so positive, | 0:27:03 | 0:27:06 | |
the vibrations around you and you just think, "Yes, | 0:27:06 | 0:27:10 | |
things are going to work out," and I hope with the grace of God, | 0:27:10 | 0:27:13 | |
that I just get what I want. | 0:27:13 | 0:27:23 | |
Chris Rogers there. | 0:27:29 | 0:27:32 | |
And if you'd like to know more about any of the | 0:27:32 | 0:27:35 | |
organisations detailed in that report, then head to our website. | 0:27:35 | 0:27:37 | |
I'll give you the address in just a moment, but first, | 0:27:37 | 0:27:40 | |
let's take a quick look at what's coming up in next week's programme. | 0:27:40 | 0:27:43 | |
How much pollution does your daily routine expose you to? | 0:27:43 | 0:27:46 | |
It is something that worries us. | 0:27:46 | 0:27:48 | |
We are bringing up children here. | 0:27:48 | 0:27:50 | |
It's a wonderful place to be, but are we harming them? | 0:27:50 | 0:27:55 | |
We offer top tips on how to cut it down. | 0:27:55 | 0:27:58 | |
We find out how one amateur film-maker | 0:27:58 | 0:27:59 | |
captures the capital's most elusive wildlife. | 0:27:59 | 0:28:03 | |
It was a way of getting out to the hares silently. | 0:28:03 | 0:28:06 | |
If you do it slowly, all of a sudden, you can | 0:28:06 | 0:28:09 | |
be within 20 feet of them. | 0:28:09 | 0:28:10 | |
And you're down at their level? | 0:28:10 | 0:28:12 | |
It's all about eyelevel. | 0:28:12 | 0:28:13 | |
You get the best shots at that, really. | 0:28:13 | 0:28:15 | |
And we go in search of London's lost ghost sights. | 0:28:15 | 0:28:17 | |
This sign was painted in the mid-1920s. | 0:28:17 | 0:28:20 | |
It's got a lot of elements to it. | 0:28:20 | 0:28:27 | |
It's got some beautiful lettering. | 0:28:27 | 0:28:28 | |
In a sense, they are still whispering, quietly away and | 0:28:28 | 0:28:30 | |
we are allowed to hear that if we take the time | 0:28:30 | 0:28:33 | |
to look and listen. | 0:28:33 | 0:28:34 | |
And that's all from this week's Inside Out London. | 0:28:34 | 0:28:36 | |
If you missed any of tonight's shower, though, and | 0:28:36 | 0:28:38 | |
you'd like to catch up on the iPlayer, or if you want any | 0:28:38 | 0:28:41 | |
information about any of the organisations featured | 0:28:41 | 0:28:43 | |
in tonight's programme, then head to our website. | 0:28:43 | 0:28:45 | |
The address is bbc.co.uk/inside out and then just click on London. | 0:28:45 | 0:28:47 | |
Thanks very much for watching. See you again next week. | 0:28:47 | 0:28:57 | |
Hello, I'm Riz Lateef with your 90-second update. | 0:29:03 | 0:29:06 | |
It's been described as the worst blunder in Oscars history - | 0:29:06 | 0:29:09 |