23/06/2011 This Week

Tonight, This Week takes an all expense spared trip to sun-drenched

Greece. Should we prepare to bail out the broken Greek economy? Will

Hutton thinks it's money well spent. The bubbles in the Greek economy

have gone flat. We in Britain do all we can to bring back the fizz,

even helping to pay the bar bill. As President Obama orders the

military to start to pack its bags and head home from Afghanistan, the

BBC's number one, John Pienaar, is Centre Court at Wimbledon.

OK, Cameron is on top. Britain's number one. Could he ever have

thought it could be this tough? With a potential washout at

Glastonbury, we look for some musical agitaters. Stewart Lee

thinks it all got too corporate. Should pop and politics go hand in

hand? Are they as toxic a mix as Glastonbury mud?

I know, you wish you weren't here! Evening all. Welcome to my big, fat

This Week. We have been grum pier than a Greek bus driver who can no

longer retire on full pension at 50. Why is that, I hear you cry? He was

not invited to the royal wedding or Olympics. Fear not, things are

looking up. The first invite to pop on to our doormat was to Last

Nights transgender party, at Downing Street - naturally. Call me

gay friendly Dave was the perfect host. He joked that "Siena Millar

is here tonight. They have had two of the most prominent Queens in 24

hours! Our next invite came from the gift which keeps on giving -

little Leo Blair's end of term party, all at the cost of �10 a

head. What's the coach fair? Don't they know you can get two bottles

of Blue Nun, and one night's subscription to Babe Station for

that? The final stiffy to arise our

interest, to the 40th birthday party of the Chancellor, little Boy

George. He themed his coming of age party. He made the inspired choice

of midsummer. Probably because it's in the middle of June. We party the

night away with a motly bunchch of -- bunch of white Middle Englanders.

I am joined on the sofa by two of Westminster's biggest party animals.

Call them the Anna Nicole Smith of last-night chat. They are wearing

their prisoner chic. Other than your two shirts what has been your

moment of the week? Mark Pritchard, not normally my cup of tea. He

introduced a motion, wanting to ban animals from circuses. He revealed

that this item seemed so important to the Prime Minister, that firstly

Mark Pritchard had been offered some kind of job that he withdraw.

That secondly he was threatened by Number Ten if he did not withdraw

his motion and was told the Prime Minister would view the matter very

dimly indeed. It makes you wonder what Number Ten is up to, or what

the Prime Minister is up to, bothering in a question as to

whether a backbench MP puts forward a motion, which has no effect in

law, about whether to ban circus animals or not. We are not at war,

there's not a sovereign debt crisis. Why not? I loved when he said "I

may be just a boy from a council estate, but I won't be intimidated

or threatened by the Prime Minister." He said, a council

estate and had some back bone and would look for some spine elsewhere.

I thought this was a telling remark. We had him on The Daily Politics.

He said it was time the Tory had more people like him and less old

Etonians. It was Wednesday, Prime Minister's Questions, when I saw

the start of the Prime Minister's U-turn when Ed Miliband asked him,

why are you taking the DNA of people arrested for rape off of the

DNA database, you would see him saying that, "we're not doing that

surely?" I've seen this as a car crash waiting to happen for a long

time. When we get to report stage, there's no date for it yet, I think

people will start realising this is, not only are they cutting police

numbers, not only are they forcing these elected commissioners on a

reluctant police force, they are hampering their ain't to catch

people guilty of rape and murder. Greece... Greece! Sandy beaches,

turquoise sea. I can see myself there now with oust oust in one --

with ouzo in one hand and olives in the other. They have the largest

cuts in modern history. Call me Dave isn't here, he has been in

Brussels. Ducking and diving. We caught up with Will Hutton, just

off the Eurostar, to find out why he thinks it would be bonkers not

The remarkable St Pancras international station, just another

symbol of how close our relationships are with Europe.

Thousands of passengers go here every day to the continent. If you

need time -- if you think times are tough in Britain, in Greece

financial turmoil is raging. The Greeks are up in arms. In effect,

the country is broke. Without hundreds of billions from the IMF

and the European Union, the Government can't pay its bills. The

price is high. One in five Greek public sector workers are to lose

their jobs. Swinging tax increases and the biggest, fastest

privatisation programme ever. Euro- skepics from Boris Johnson, to Jack

Straw are united. What's going on in Europe is for them and their ill

conceived euro, we'll stay well out of. David Cameron talks about

dealing with a crisis that could overwhelm all of us, not a penny or

a creative lead is in offer from The bubble may have bust in the

Greek economy, but the idea what's going on there doesn't affect us is

just bonkers. We can't put to one side what's happening in Greece.

Sooner or later it will affect us. Our banks have lent the best part

of a trillion euro to European banks and companies. If Greece is

for toss re-pay debts on a scale larger than what Germany was asked

to do after repaying after World War I, I have no doubt Greece will

default on its debts. Ireland, Portugal and Spain could follow

suit. The euro would collapse. We'd be in the middle of a financial

disaster. So what to do? Britain needs to

stand up for Europe and for Greece. David Cameron, instead of appeasing

his Euro-sceptic backbenchers needs to publicly assure the Europeans in

the eurozone that Britain will do everything in its power to help.

That means putting our hand in our pockets.

Will Hutton must be the cheapest champagne in Britain if.... That's

where I am going next time. He was in the railway station in St

Pancras. Here he is. Welcome back. Let me start with the stripy

brothers here. Is Will right? Should the European Union,

including the United Kingdom, do everything to keep Greece afloat

and in the euro? Will is absolutely right that the Prime Minister

should not say he's not going to have anything to do with this. It

made me very unhappy when he said that. Will is right, that this

crisis is all-embracing of incredible importance and will

sweep us all away unless we handle it correctly. If problem is, I

don't think the European Union is about rescuing Greece. It is about

rescuing the euro. The United Kingdom doesn't have much of an

interest in rescuing the euro in the sense of preserving the euro

with all the member countries who are presently in it as members in

the future. It may be much more sensible to let Greece go. They are

not willing to contemplate that. Should we be willing to give money

to Greece? We will have to participate in one of the

mechanisms. That is the IMF? That happens. Should we, as Will's

implication, pony up alon with the -- along with the rest of the

eurozone to help? I think we should say we wish to participate in the

leadership of the problem. It will probably cost us money. Yes. Where

are you? We should either donate a penny or some bright ideas. I agree

with the bright ideas. Ed Balls made the point about us being in

the position, because our banks are not as exposed as German and French

banks, we could be the broker here. We're not part of the euro. Where

is Gordon Brown when you need him? He would be in with ideas about how

to solve this. Another package will not solve this. Another package,

another austerity package will not solve this. There needs to be

another bail out? We are spectators at this kind of unbelievable event.

Greece is being asked by the IMF and the European Union between

2012-2015, to pay nearly as much in that period as the Germans were in

reparation payments after World War I. At the same time, their economy

will be three more years of decline. They will not do it. It is mission

impossible. We are spectators, watching a mission impossible

unfolding, which we are going to be hurt by as the consequences of this

escape being made... I get that. You say we should throw money in

there. We should be part of the next bail out. Are you saying

however much it will cost, it will be money well spent? I am saying

that we should attempt to shape a bail out, it shares the pain out

more eke Qatarably. The creditors to Ireland, to Portugal,

simultaneously have to accept they will not get their money back in

full. They will not get it back in three, four, five years thaism will

get it back over 25 years -- they will get it back over 25 years.

That is what they will not agree to and the European Central Bank?

There's been an argument between the central bank and the French, in

which the Germans want something like this and the central bank and

the French oppose it. Chancellor Merkel has appealed to the BRITs to

come -- Brits to come to the party, put some money on the table and

maybe Britain and Germany could shape a better deal for Greece than

the one that is unfolding before our eyes. The grave danger is we

are going to watch Greece defaulting in a kind of Lehman

Brothers event. We've got, you can argue about the numbers, some say

700 billion euro, think it is nearer one trillion. They have

enormous loans out to eurozone Governments and Governments.

companies. Is Will right, that if it goes

pear-shaped in Greece, there's an automatic contagion to Portugal -

Yes. It is by far the biggest threat to the British economy and

the world economy that is present at the moment. He isn't saying that

there is a bail out, he's saying that the people and the private

sector have to now participate. precisely. The imaging, as it were,

Euro-sceptic position is that unless there's holes are plucked

now, all that is going to happen is that five years down the line the

burden passed to tax payers is going to be even greater. Unless we

get the private sector to participate in the pain, it's all

going to be mounting upon the taxpayer. Are we right to think

this is another Lehman Brothers? In many ways, we didn't see it coming.

This, by virtue of the fact that we are all talking about this, we see

it coming? We do, but it doesn't make it any less profound in terms

of its effects. In terms of the tour in Parliament about how we can

just wash our hands of it, we are not in the euro, it is their

problem, it is our problem as well. There are two fans of money, the

mechanism and the facility. We are part of one and not part of the

other. We didn't put anything into the original bail out. I can

understand elected politician saying, look, we are not going to

ban taxpayers' money into it. It doesn't mean to say we are not in

the game of showing some leadership. When I originally heard what you're

going to say, I thought you were going to say that there has to be a

lot more money given to Greece, an even bigger bail out and less

emphasis on austerity. What you are really talking about is a default,

by any other name? And talking about an orderly, organised bail-in.

Organised by the IMF, everybody is guide to the part of it, the bond

holders take their coat. It's not a default if the country which is...

If the country that withholds the obligation says, fine, I'm going to

carry on paying vet. The trouble is, what may happen is that they might

default and not pay anything to anybody. If we are going to get the

right answer we have to be not frightened by particular words.

People keep saying, we can't have a default, it's a bad thing, but it

might be worse... Most analysts in the city grave. Other people are

saying that Greece can't leave the euro. That bad, but it might not be

as bad as the alternative. Greece, it's going to be really

hard. Leaving the euro could itself precipitate the collapse of the

Greek banking system. It's a Shangri-La world going on. The ECB

and the French, and, so far, the German's official line, they don't

want to go through the route that we are suggesting, default. They

say even if you spread out the credit, it's a credit event and

counts as a default. The people of Rhys will determine this. Not a

single civil servant has lost their job yet. Not a single public asset

has been privatised. I put it to you, it will not happen. I was

hearing the other day they have an incredible situation where a

pharmacy get guarantees 35% profits. Paying your taxes is a kind of

voluntary procedure over in Greece. There is not an easy option. There

should be a substantive conversation between the Europeans,

the Americans, the whole of the G7, even the big countries. The IMF

warned last week that there could be a second financial crisis. It

will start here. The Prime Minister of Britain should not be talking

about red tape in Brussels this weekend. It's madness. Could the

Prime Minister series to carry his party at the put British taxpayer

money behind a quick bail out? in isolation. If the Prime Minister

seems a position of leadership, I think almost anything is possible.

We will have to leave it there, fascinating subject. What do you

think will have to happen? I think what will happen is that we will

buy two or three months of time. Ultimately, the Greek positional

breakdown, the opposition are behind the package, Greece will

actually default within the eurozone. I think the Irish and

Portuguese will follow suit, there will be substantive write-offs.

They knew I into territory that none of us can predict. I agree, it

will be fascinating. Now, it is late, but we are ready to pile

through to 6am. That is when the last dregs of Olympic tickets go on

sale. It is Michael's last chance to get a front row seat at the

Greco-Roman wrestling. For those of you with less primeval tastes, we

will soon be joined by one of Britain's Ms sophisticated stand-up

comedians, Stewart Lee. He's wondering why the music scene has

lost its sense of political mischief. For those of you who

share Mr Portillo's love of the bear-pit, there is always the

dealers comments page. Or you can join the baying mob, as always, on

Twitter. It's an edged tonight that Ed

Miliband wants to change the way that beta selects its Shadow

Cabinet to a system of one man, one vote. To be precise, the one man is

his vote. At the moment, Labour MPs choose who is in the Crazy Gang. He

thinks it should be up to him alone. I bet the current Shadow Cabinet

and over the moon with that overwhelming show of confidence. It

looks like the lobbying of Diane Abbott has finally paid off.

Fortunately, there are still places left where competition is cherished.

Like Wimbledon, where we sent to Tracey. How are you? I'm ready.

You've got to get ready, cut the unforced errors down. Lots of

movement with your feet, you got to be aggressive, finish the point of

at the net and get tough. A big match... Big-match! Keep the feet

moving. Stand on the back. Remember, first we need to take this press

off. I got to take this off? Yes, I hear that David Cameron is a good

player, you've got to play well # If somebody is going to make it,

Just like Cameron. Smooth, graceful, born to be at the top, no wonder

half the country can't stand him. But it was so much easier on the

way up. Criticising the Labour Rousell on the other side of the

net. Now every game is harder than the last one, like dropping the

idea of half of your sentence if you are a criminal and plead guilty

early on. Deon Strong is about being compared to admit you didn't

get everything right the first time. -- being strong. That is exactly

what we are doing with this. I think that's the right process to

follow. That's the style. Even if you miss a point, make it look like

it's all part of a plan. I've done many baulks in my time. They should

be done with purpose and panache when you have to do them. -- many

U-turn in my time. I actually don't think this is a U-turn tour. Look

at Ken Clarke, catgut strings, wooden racket, plays his own game,

never learned any different. You've One thing I have learned, it's a

team game. OK, I like being in the spotlight, admittedly. But why

can't my team just do their job and make me look good? Cameron must

feel that way about the generals complaining about the men and

resources they have to do the job in Libya. Now Obama says he wants

30,000 out by next year. The generals are going to be saying,

Prime Minister, do things at your own pace. There are moments when I

wake up and read the newspapers and think, tell you what, you do the

fighting, I'll do the talking. that a stumble? A mistake? Just a

bit too cocky. Miliband is trying to make him pay. Let me say this to

him and Olsson Senate seat -- in all sincerity. When our military

chiefs raised concerns and raised legitimate concerns about the

conduct of about operations, surely it's not the right thing to say to

say you did the fighting, I'll do the talking? In retrospect, Mr

Speaker, wasn't that very crass and high-handed? Second service.

only point I have tried to make in recent days is that I think when

you at war, and we are in both Afghanistan and Libya, I think it's

very important, whether you are a political or military leader, to

think very carefully about what you are about to save. Still, it looks

as if Ed Miliband has learned that you trick shots. Maybe there is

time for him to turn this thing around. But all of these Labour

players have the same problem. When it comes to strike action, they got

to choose their words carefully, especially with all of these

strikes coming up over pension reform. The trade unions must not

walk into the trap of giving George Osborne the confrontation he wants

to divert attention from a failure call it -- a quality -- failing

Yes, there he is. John Pienaar is coming out on to Centre Court. Just

John Pienaar, what a rally. Michael, Mr Obama's speech, he clearly can't

wait to get out of Afghanistan quickly enough. What do you make of

it? I think the Taliban will understand that perfectly clearly.

They will just be hanging around until American forces have gone.

It's quite interesting that he now defines the mission as being what

it was originally, a very long time ago, simply to deny it as a safe

haven for Al-Qaeda. You know, the American public will believe that

is given greater force by the fact Osama Bin Laden has been told. It's

a great pity, I think, that we departed so far from that objective

of denying Al-Qaeda a base in Afghanistan. Of course, any broader

objective now looks rather absurd. Because Al-Qaeda is now well

established in other countries. Shall we open a book on how long

President Karzai will last in Kabul after the allied forces have gone?

A week, 10 days, a month? I think the outlook for Afghanistan is

pretty grim. Especially if you are a woman. Between now and 2005,

there will be some political process. I wouldn't rule out of aka

oh you don't think it's a foregone conclusion? I wouldn't rule out

that a coalition could emerge between tribesmen, Taliban and

Hamid Karzai. The American electoral process is taking a big

role. Is it for re-election in 2012. As in this country, the war is

unpopular. It would be popular in this country if Mr Cameron could

speed up withdrawal as well? I wish Obama was doing it for security

reasons. I suspect it's about the politics. He's going against the

advice of General Petraeus, against the advice of his own retiring

Defence Secretary. And joint chief of staff? Yeah. Cameron, I'm really

worried about setting a date. Michael has lots of experience as

Defence Secretary. When I was in Afghanistan as Home Secretary, the

importance to morale of the troops of not signalling when this is

going to come to one end, I think it is really important. I think the

chairman of the Defence Select Committee, James Arbuthnot, is

absolutely right to worry about this. Both in America and the UK,

it's not doing a great deal of good for our troops' morale, or for the

issues they have secured, the gains they have made. I just think it's

about politics, not about security. We heard William Hague talking this

morning, we will be there until 2015, then afterwards but not as a

fighting capacity. Can we be blunt? The Americans set the pace on the

disengagement. If the Americans are going, we have to go, they provide

their whole infrastructure which all forces operate on there? We are

in there because the United States I in there, we will be out of there

because they are getting out of there. We will get out as quickly

as them question that we are an entirely junior partner, and Thai

elite -- and entirely secondary We were fighting in two theatres at

the same time, at the same time as cutting the defence budget.

struck by Mr Obama talking about the cost in terms of lives and in

many of this twice as long as the Second World War operation. It's

worth just thinking about that. He said it was time for nation-

building at home. You are bound to be saying that when you are coming

up for re-election and you have to 9.5% unemployment. I wonder if

there is a danger at some stage if Libya will become that for others,

at some stage we will think the cost is too much and it will be

time for nation-building at home? We saw the cost revealed this week.

It is much more than was predicted. I still support... I supported

resolution 1973. I am becoming more and more concerned that this is

about us supporting the weaker side in a civil war, rather than

supporting a popular uprising. The longer it goes on... You are

getting nervous? I am, quite frankly. I've always wondered, is

it a civil war popular uprising? It looks more like the former than the

actor -- latter. As former defence secretary, you had to deal with the

top brass. Let me ask you two questions. Are the top brass are

more outspoken than ever before? In recent times, recent memory, in our

military? And was Mr Cameron right to a kind of slap them down? And I

put that in quotes. Yes, they are more outspoken, no, he was wrong to

slap them down. Nothing made me more annoyed than when the military

spoke out of turn, and they did occasionally. What I then did was I

summoned them for what was known as an interview without coffee.

show you were really, really angry question are privately, they would

come in and I would say, look, we are working together. We have made

our decisions jointly, we have some difficulties making the decisions.

We have made the decisions together and I don't expect you to speak out

of line. Because of their sense of honour, they found this terribly

embarrassing when they were caught out against the Secretary of State.

But I think they have to be done in The phrase, I'll to the talking,

they should to the fighting - was a mistake? I am afraid so. Kenneth

Clarke - we saw there on our film. You are a former Home Secretary,

you know what it's like. He's the Justice Secretary. He has a big

part of the responsibility as you have before it was split. Did you

see that U-turn coming? Did you understand that was what was going

to happen? Yes. I think this is different n the sense that Cameron

had a perfectly good afternoon. I didn't agree with it. He had a

perfectly good argument about putting more resources into

rehabilitation, et cetera. There's a �130 billion hole in his funding.

This was obviously thought through. This is a case where he just seemed

to be frightened of the tabloids. Frightened of the reaction. It

wasn't a case where he thought this is a genuine mistake. He'd... This

is the problem here, with that and the NHS. You cannot convince me

that the Prime Minister wasn't absolutely clear and supportive of

his Secretary of State going down that road. Now he's just pulled the

rug from under them. The problem is these U-turns don't solve the

problem. Having done a U-turn on the NHS, it has not solved the

problem. There's a �20 billion hole. In this case there's a �120 billion

black hole. These looming public sector strikes - do you agree with

Ed Balls that they are walking into a Government-laid trap? I think

they might be premature. My understanding is the negotiations,

they are putting a lot of effort into those negoshtkwraigss. No-one

from Will Hutton -- negotiations, no-one from Hutton to others are

not saying it is not serious. You have to be careful about the timing

of these disputes. They are well led by Brendan Barber. You are an

old union leader. Should Labour show more solidarity with the

unions in this? It is difficult, particularly when there is strike

action and people's services are being affected. I'm with the unions

on this. There is a good argument that we've done enough in terms of

pensions to reduce it as a proportion of GDP. Need to do more.

A 3% increase in contributions, which is a 50% in real terms,

increase in country buegs, means people will leave pension

schemes.Ly be the welfare bill which will have to step in.

Eventually the taxpayer will have to step in. Should Mr E Miliband be

allowed to appoint his own Shadow Cabinet? Absolutely. Are you with

him on that? Should have done it 15 years ago. You are not that happy!

Happy now. You know what people say? This week is the new

rock'n'roll. It wasn't always the case, you know. Michael and I have

paid our dues. For years we toured the nation in a battered touring

band, playing clubs to a handful of fans. It is a desire to make a

difference in our lives. Without a tail drooping anywhere in sight,

how times have changed! We used to do it just for kicks. Since the BBC

signed us ut, it's got so corporate, man. We decided to recreate some

magic and put political music in As the mainstream hits the main

stage at Glastonbury, has modern music lost its political edge?

And the good old days the Sex Pistols, the Clash and Jam used

music as a tool for anti- establishment protest. At fst

values, they were a place -- at festivals, they were a place to

break free. As for fertility rights, naked dancing and the drug-taking.

As Michael Evis calls for the festival to re-claim its radical

roots, is the time changing or is the future of political music just

stuck in the mud? Well, am I glad I'm not there. Mr

Lee, thank you for joining us. This chap Michael Evis, who is Mr

Glastonbury in a way. He said this Glastonbury will be more political

- there's not much evidence, is there? The thing about Glastonbury,

it is such a Masai event, kit be all things to all people -- it can

be all things to all people. Everything to the right of the main

stage, there's young head onist dancing to fast music. To the left

there's fringe theatre and political debates, like the House

of Commons. I think you can make of it what you will. It is difficult

for it to be politicised in the way that festivals were in the 1970s

and 1980s. The kind of people who made them political do not exist

any more. They were put together and staff and patronised by hippies

and the peace convoy types who have been legislated out of existence.

Now when you look at that news footage of people wandering into

Glastonbury, they are Hunter, designer wellies. The amazing thing,

it has gone full circle. There'll be a protest, as I understand it,

this year. It will be a protest against Bono and U2 for not paying

enough taxes in Ireland T protest will come from the fans, not the

bands. That is absolutely brilian. One of the great things is --

brilliant. One of the great things is unexpected things do happen.

Also, U2 are really good at working out what will be attention-grabbing.

Using Bono as a focus for tax evasion, given how many people do

it and given how corporations do it, is a hilarious thing to do. You are

an old rocker. I was a mod, not a rocker!

You're a rocker. Has music become less political? I don't think so.

There's a band called Everything, Everything; an album called Come

alive Diana. Our Diana? It's social observation. The worst political

songs are the ones that are, are the ones with politics written on

them, like the protest songs from the 60s. Elvis Costello's Ship

Building is where it is more subtle. I wonder whether the political

music owes its again sis to more austere times, divided times like

the 60s and the 707s? I think it does. It -- 70s. I think it does.

There are the opportunities for the cross-platforms. The Clash, their

thing was they wouldn't go on Top of the Pops T70 things was about

not selling out. Now bands think, how do we get on Top of the Pops,

how do we get stuff on a -- an advert? You are a major expert on

this - what is your view? We have at least ten seconds! My view is it

is puzzling that youth is so unpolitical at the moment. When you

think about all the provocations. You were mentioning more

ideologically divided times. There have been rarely more times than

now as in the United States. We fought wars in Iraq, Afghanistan,

Libya. Yet nothing has happened N the 60s, the music and the feeling

of young people went hand in hand. In the United States in the 1960s,

students actually died in demonstrations. They were gunned

down. There was a big thing happening. There is no sign of life

in youth, politically speaking at all. When you talk about political

music, it's a one-party state. It's left-wing, political protest. Music

today is really corporate - it's business. They don't kind of go too

well together? It is still interesting. Political music used

to be of the left. It is strange now that because we have youthful

politicianen the right, they try to claim it and yet a lot of the bands

that David Cameron says he loves are forced to issue an official

statement saying they hope he stops listening to them. When David

Cameron tried to get photographed outside a Salford's lad's club,

Hazel Blears put the lain into action to make sure there was no

way he could stand outside it without there being a placard. It

is a weird thing. Shall we be honest - the sad truth is

Glastonbury is part of the summer season. It supthere with Ascot,

Wimbledon.... If people object to it, what is difference to ten years

ago is there are a vast majority of festivals. All over the countries,

there are different ones. Unlike Ascot they don't fight each other

with champagne bottles! Where does Wagner fit into this?

You are not referring to the one who died in the 180s? Not the one

that -- 1870s? Not that one. If you want to hear about political music

I will tell you about him. We have run out of time. We have a quiz.

You know we are all tennis-mad on This Week, we know the names of two

or three of the top players. That is that guy Borg somebody and

McEnroe, and Connors - we know them all. We think of not spending two

whole weeks every year for indulging our passion for all

things Wimbledon. How better than to get things flowing than a tennis

political quiz, with world number one Austin. Oh, yes, Tracey, first

question? When David Cameron challenged

British number one, Andy Murray to a tennis match, where did they

play? A, at Wimbledon? B, Queen's Club. C, Downing Street state

dining room? Answer?

Queen's Club. Let's get the right answer. The answer is, C, in the

Downing Street state dining, room, complete with chandelier. See how

useless they are. Another question. A City bankers paid �160,000 to

play tennis at Chequers with which politician? A, Winston Churchill. B

Margaret Thatcher or C Tony Blair? Tony Blair.

I think they have got this one. Give us the answer. The answer is,

of course, Tony Blair, at a charity auction in 2004. That was easy.

Let's see if we have the third question. When David Cameron played

Nick Clegg at tennis, David Cameron won. What did Cameron claim was the

reason for his victory? A, he was more wielly? B, a better cheat than

Nick Clegg? C, his racket was much bigger than Nick Clegg's?

Come on? A, wielly. The answer is? The answer is, A, he was more wiley

than Nick Clegg, as Nic is finding out to his cost in Government.

There you go. Better than usual. Thank you for

being with us. Thanks for having us. That's your lot for tonight. With

Glastonbury upon us, sit back and watch as the funkiest diva struts

her stuff. The biggest soul sister on planet Parliament didn't

disappoint. No, I am not talking about Beyonce. I don't know what

she is! I'm talking about Betty Boothroyd, when she took centre

stage to tear a strip. You could hear the Deputy Prime Minister

weeping all the way from his Downing Street broom cupboard.

Night, night, night, don't let the former Speaker of the House bite.

Our fatal flaw is we are not directly accountable to the British

people. That's absolutely true. Nor is the monarchy. Nor is the