15/12/2011 This Week

Tonight, This Week is walking in the air and floating in the

Westminster sky. The people far below are sleeping as we fly

through the top stories of the year. Which political snowman will end

the year on top and which one is in danger of melting away? We'll be

joined by two jolly Fleet Street men of snow - Quentin Letts and

Kevin Maguire. Swimming in the frozen sky, leading actor David

Morrissey. Providing the Christmas X-Factor - the voice of an angel,

Johnny Robinson. And everyone who sees us, greets us as we fly.

Evening all and a special welcome to our special Christmas edition of

This Week. The show that exists, much like British foreign policy,

in glorious isolation from the rest of the civilised world. In fact,

parallels between us and Call-Me- Dave's undiplomatic statecraft

don't end there. We too refuse to sign up to bureaucratic rules that

limit our sovereign right to cock everything up, all on our own. We

too kid ourselves that we punch above our weight, with a global

reach, and a fleet of imaginary aircraft carriers, though at least

we're not counting on the French to share one with us. And when we too

fail miserably to get our own way, just like Dave, we're always ready

to claim it was a cunning plan all along and blame everything else on

the cheese-eating surrender monkeys. And, at the end of the day, who

doesn't get a kick out of making prank phone calls to Nick Clegg at

4am saying, "You've just re-taken Calais?" It never ever gets boring.

Speaking of those weary souls who are locked in a political prison of

their own making, I'm joined on the sofa tonight by two of

Westminster's oldest lags. The Lennie Godber and Norman Stanley

Fletcher of late-night political chat. I speak, of course, of

Michael Portillo, and back by absolutely no public demand

whatsoever, and currently trending as #leftieontheleft - Diane Abbott.

And with little chance of being outdone, and currently trending as

#maninthemiddle - Charles Kennedy. And a very warm welcome to an actor

who does the impossible - yes, he's the man who made Gordon Brown

televisua - actor and director, David Morrissey. Michael, your

moment of the year. The killing of Osama Bin Laden. It may be a

bitterlyy or paradox, but it wasn't the moment -- a bit early, or par

box, but it wasn't the moment of the year, but this was the number

one objective of the fight against terror, but funnily enough when I

wad ask to think of my moment, it was hard to remember that this his

even happened, because although it seemed quite big at the time, what

sort of consequence what's it had? No political consequence in America.

It kind of died, that is not the bet analogy, but I know what you

mean. That's Andrew for you. takes me very literally. It did

have the great photograph. You remember the photograph of the

operations room and Hillary Clinton with her hand over her mouth?

didn't appear to be quite what it is. That's life and politics.

a bit naive. They were all terrified it was all going to be

another Jimmy Carter helicopters in the desert. Diane? I was at home,

Saturday night I looked at Twitter and realised there were riots in

Tottenham. Turned on my TV. Took me back all the years back to

Broadwater Farm. The riots haven't had longevity in terms of the

political impact. But we'll have riots again next summer. We will?

Lucky you weren't in the Caribbean at the time. On the spot for once,

in the summer. I thought it was the Tottenham district of Jamaica. Have

you noticed what's above you. SREAMING

We haven't got one. You did, but I cut it down. David, your moment of

the year. My moment, is similar. In the summer I was driving out of

London with my son on the Monday and just seeing London burning, as

I was driving out. Just seeing the pockets of fire. That was a very -

Stays in the memory? Very strange time to be leaving London and

feeling like getting out and feeling safe about getting out and

thinking I shouldn't be feeling safe about driving away. You are

making a drama? It is out on 22nd. Next week. Channel 4 9pm. Channel 4.

Excellent. I will set the sky plus. Charles? I think if you look at UK

politics at the moment, fascinating and unpredictable as it, the one

constant light in the sky and it grieves me to say this, but it was

confirmed this year, is the primacy of First Minister Alex Salmond. He

is far and away the most successful politician in terms of having an

absolute majority of his own and having a renewed mandate and

effectively next to no opposition whatsoever. In the land of the

blind, the one-eyed man is king? shall see. At the moment, there is

no alternative, to coin a phrase, from Alex Salmond. Equally, it's

going to have ramifications for the rest of the United Kingdom, because

the issues are internal. It will be a developing story. Very much so.

Thank you for those. Now, we've got an extra treat for you tonight. As

forelock-tugging corporate lickspittles of the highest order,

we're contractually obliged to favour all BBC light entertainment

over its ITV rivals. That's why, naturally, we've decided to round

off the year with, what else, a Political X-Factor Quiz, with X-

Factor singing sensation, it's the X-Factor's Johnny Robinson from the

X-Factor! APPLAUSE

Hello. Pleased to meet you. Factor is on the BBC, isn't it?

ITV, love. You got that wrong. We'll be fired. Naughty boy. Are

you ready? What are you going to be doing? We are going to give you a

question, because it's a quiz. Start us off. Here we go. First

question is - which naughty Baroness, who spooked the Lords,

has the X Factor? He's got no idea. Let's roll the type and let's see

what the answer is. It's Baroness Trum tonne there. She is one of the

only ones... LAUGHTER

I can just watch that again and again. I want to see that on a loop.

Jonny, come back and we'll do some more. Thank you. Now, never let it

be said that we take the take-off too far on this programme.

Absolutely not, we buy a first- class ticket and send it half way

around the world to tiny states of microkneesia, so that must mean

it's time for the Downturn Abbey Christmas special. There have been

big changes since we visited last Christmas. Times have moved on

faster that Nick Clegg's bottom when Europe is debated. Kevin

Maguire has been sent off to fight in Brussels and Lord Quentin Letts,

for it is he, is coming to terms with a dramatic change in fortunes,

so sit back and enjoy our first of three visits to double-dip Downturn

Abbey at Christmas. MUSIC I remember Christmas Eve 2011. A new

front had opened up in the war in Europe. For months the bankers had

been shelling the Germans, who were shooting the French, sniping at the

Greeks and Italians. But when Field Marshal Lord Cameron signalled the

retreat, everyone started shooting at us. I came back to Downturn

where I had hoped to spend the holidays recuperating with my old

master, but life back home had changed. Hang on a minute, this

doesn't look right. Hello. Maguire, I'm so glad you're home.

We have been repossessed. Yaild Mr May, the house keep -- wailed Mr

May, the housekeeper and look Hizbollah Lordship. -- look at his

Lordship. So the newsreels were right and Field Marshal Lord

Cameron did win the great European war and the boys are coming home

for Christmas. Yes, something like that. I said before coming to

Brussels that if I couldn't get adequate safeguards for Britain in

a new European treaty, then I wouldn't agree to it. So much for

all that high- fluting talk and using the veto. Lord Cameron's done

what no British Prime Minister, not even Lady Thatcher, ever dared do.

I know, it's great, isn't it? I say, this calls for a celebration. Mrs

May, break open the drinks from the cellar. Shouldn't we remember the

fallen? Yes, you're right. And those missing in action. How can

the Prime Minister expect to persuade anyone else it's a good

outcome when he can't persuade his own deputy? Being aced as one is

bad for jobs and growth and the millions of people in this country,

but the coalition is here to stay. Shame, shellshock does funny things

to a good footman. Let's drink. Lords Letts believed the good old

days were just around the corner. But what had happened to Downturn?

Tricky one, I'm afraid. I'm afraid my accountant, young Lord Osborne,

had a little bit of trouble with his sums. They have unsurprisingly

revised down their short-term growth prospects for our country,

for Europe and for the world. They expect GDP if Britain to grow this

year by 0.9%. 0.9%? I've had stronger supermarket own-brand

value lager than that. I fear the Boy George in a man's job is

pushing us into a double-dip recession. The trouble is Labour

ballsed up the economy and they are still Ed Ballsing it up. Until they

get rid of the people who made a mess they are not going to be

trusted on the economy. Bah, my Lord?! It must be hard for you to

get by on just under 150 K a year. We squeezed middle must make the

best of things. Polysays we can stay until 2015. -- polly here says

we can stay until 2015. I'm going down with something, it must be the

Spanish flu, or Greek or German. Blasted conned nepbtals. I'm off to

bed. -- continentals. I'm off to TV magic. Public service

broadcasting at its finest. Michael, do you think David Cameron is

pinching himself tonight? It looks like we're on the brink of another

recession. The Chancellor has had to admit his plans are off course.

We were one against 26 last week. He's now ahead in the polls and the

darling of his party. No, I don't think he's pinching himself,

because he's done something no Prime Minister has done before,

which is to say no to another treaty. This touches on the

relationship between the British people and the European Union. We

never expected to have one treaty after another, after another. We

thought we had joined a club. The European Union's rules are changing

all the time. Also, I think the treaty he didn't sign will shortly

be seen as a treaty of infan mi. What it will do is impose the most

austere austerity on countries when it is not the appropriate thing to

do. When the countries refuse to respond, then their Governments

will be replaced, as we have seen in Italy and Greece. This is not

only economically illiterate. We are well out of it.

Diane, inflation is high, living standards have been squeezed more

severely than any time since 1925. Unemployment is rising. There is

virtually no growth in the economy. Why is Labour and Mr Miliband doing

so badly? We're going to win... We have won all our by-elections so

far. We have 65,000 new members. However, you are right, if you look

at the overall number polling numbers for Ed, they are not as

high as we would like them to be. Things are going to get worse. You

are saying the eurozone will crash. It may well do. However,... High

are things not as high. Things have got worse and your ratings have got

worse. No. The Tories are ahead. It's a margin of error.

My leg has not been petted since you were last on the show. There

you go! Aren't you glad I'm back! I like it when you say to me,

you're right. Every answer tonight just say, "You're right." I will

take that mistletoe down. You will see that public opinion will come

to us when people see how bankrupt Osborne's plan is. There There's no

evidence of that. By all normal criteria Labour

should be doing well, it is mid- term, it has gone badly for the

Government. It is when oppositions always come through. My thing is to

ask you about opinion polls in general. How serious do you take

opinion polls as politicians? Are they really sweated over? Are they,

in that way? Then denied in public. Sniefplt you see David Cameron's

lead in the run-up is he was streets ahead. That.... They take

them seriously. If they are behind they are not important. The's only

one poll that is important, that is election day. If they are ahead,

they are on top of the world. If you are doing badly the support

is not there. It's like watching the share price. Same thing.

had a few doubts, I seem to remember, about this coalition

being formed at the time. Yes. One or two. Would you like to say

tonight, I stand totally vindicated, Charles Kennedy. I stand partly

vindicated? I stand a wee bit vindicated?

I'm a great believer in the economy of expression. You feel vindicated?

I don't feel vindicated. You just said you did. Answering the point,

seriously - I think the anxieties some of us expressed have been

vindicated. I mention Scotland. The night we aagreed to the deal I said

I cannot raise my hand from this. I am a Democrat. This will play badly

at the next elections in Scotland. We lost a lot. It is not just

Scotland. Mr Clegg told your party, peers and MPs, he said he didn't

want to go down in history as the last leader of the Liberal

Democrats by calling a general election. In other words, if there

was an election, you lot are stuffed. And when the original

coalition agreement was made, the argument I was putting forward was

we'd be better off in opposition, have a minority Tory Government.

Vote with them when you think it is right.

Hold on a minute. Let me finish. great compatriot and a great man.

He recognised.... Are you implying I am not democratic! You are trying

to wind Charles up. I am not. I believe this. He recognised the

deficit was the major problem. There had to be an austerity

Government. It had to last to 2015. He will stick through it through --

to it through thick and thin. that decision was taken I was of

the view it would last through thick and thin. Eremain of that

view despite the Europe difficulties last week. Is there

not a danger for Labour it will be seen as too pro Europe and there

are too votes on the left or right by being too pro Europe? We have to

be careful of that T I am pro Europe in the general sense. What

is happening to the euro was always going to happen. Actually, what we

have to look at now is what's going to happen to the euro, because the

survival of the euro depends on the German voting public being prepared

to put its hand in its pocket and bail out Mediterranean countries.

They show no sign they want to do that. Labour ought to remind us

that the man David played on the television, Tony Blair, kept us out

of the euro. He is a great man. grateful nation would like to thank

you for that. Not me. Thank him personally, I think.

We are running out of time. Come back in. Give them another question.

Right, which cowboy, who shot from the hip, and missed, has the X

Factor? Charles looks lost. Can't you get

it? He always looks lost! Give them a clue. He's a bit of a

Dick. George Bush. Get it? answer is the republic and

Presidential candidate Perry. Commerce, education and the -

what's the third one there? The third agency of Government, I would

do away with education, the.... Um.... Commerce and, let's see... I

can't, the third one, I can't. Sorry. Whoops!

This is not as bad as the candidate who had to admit he tied the dog to

the roof of his car when they drove to Canada. At least Sarah Palin was

honest about shooting animals. Now back to Downturn Abbey as we return

to Lord Letwin and Butler Kevin Maguire dreaming of better days.

It was the night before Christmas, when all through the flat not a

creature was stirring, well almost. SNORING

sleep. Do you think Father Christmas has been along yet?

sure soon. My Lord, I have been thinking, why are we fighting the

French? It seems only like yesterday that Cameron and Sarkozy

were the best of friends. # Ding, dong merryly on high #

No more holding of hands now. Cameron gambled taking on Gaddafi.

Even the Americans had their doubts. It wasn't an easy start. Probably

not the best idea to helicopter in Special Forces to talk to the

opposition. The British public are entitled to wonder if some new

neighbours moved into the Foreign Secretary's street he would

introduce himself by ringing the door bell or choose to climb over

the fence in the middle of the night. You have to say it paid off,

even if no-one knows where the Arab Spring is heading, I think

Britain's top brass handled the matter quite well. In with arm

manufacturers is going to get growth back. Are we saying for all

time, countries like Kuwait have to manufacture and maintain every

single part of their own defences? Lord Letwin was trying to drift

back to sleep to dream of the good old days of Downturn. The Troubles

of the world were keeping me awake. If you are going abroad you should

let the staff know when you'll be back. Thank you! Gave me my

favourite quotation of the year. What's the point of Nick Clegg?

The first Deputy Prime Minister in British history to fail to turn up

to work when the Prime Minister's across for a week.

I think I am wanting to ask - what's the point of Nick Clegg?

Still, I suppose travelling abroad does have its perils. You have to

be careful who you meet. Last week's media frenzy was not

unprecedented. It happens. We're a necessary free press and politics

collide. I believe, there was in some quarters, a personal

vindictiveness, that should worry all of us. Yes, it was all the

press's fault. My duvet, I think. No, it's not.

It's mine. No, it's not. It's mine. What would Christmas Day and the

New Year bring? Who said social mobility is dead? So long as it is

downwards. The Prime Minister took a risk in Libya. It went right. The

gamble paid off. Yes, some do. This Week, we have been thinking about

Iraq with the Americans withdrawing. There's one that didn't come off. I

was very surprised that David Cameron after the experiences of

Iraq and Afghanistan would commit forces. He said you cannot enforce

democracy from 30,000 feet. It did come off. I think British foreign

policy is hard to understand. I think the rule of Bahrain was

recently welcomed in Downing Street. So, some dictators who have been op

pressing their people are welcome in Downing Street. Others are

bombed. I think there's a message there. If you expect consistency

you'll have a long wait. The most embarrassing pictures involve your

former leader and Mr Gaddafi. Blair and Mr Gaddafi. Best of

friends. They were embarrassing. There you go. That was new Labour

for you. All down to new Labour! Old Labour would not have touched

him with a barge pole. Mr Scargill tried to get money out of it

think it was Napoleon who said, give me lucky generals. He was

lucky it did not turn into a ground war. There was consensus in the

House against that. Is the Arab Spring still spring, or is it now

winter Where I have been is in the south of Lebanon. It's on the

border of the north, it is kicking off. I run a charity for children

in camps in the south. I don't get much of a sense, once you are in

the camps you are not getting -- you are dealing the day-to-day

really. You do it and keep it going.

We have done things in those camps. Conditions are tough. Certainly for

the Palestinian refugees there. As the country as large I don't get

much of a sense. Don't you worry that all liberal revolutions devour

their own children. We've had the Muslim Brotherhood win in Tunisia.

The second biggest party, the party which came second, hard-line, much

more so than the Muslim Brotherhood. Syria, a clampdown, the Gulf run by

kings. It's not going great, is it? There's no sense, I don't think the

most crack-pot right-wingers in the Bushill administration, in the

States would have argued if you could somehow shove bits of the

Middle East in the direction of something resembleing democracy,

that would be democracy of a liberal democratic nature. It's not

just going to happen. It's all relative. There is a kind of

democracy in that region. It's called Iraq. A kind of democracy,

yes. Well, I suppose that's better than

what went before. I think the price that's got to be weighed is the

fact that of all those uncounted, unnamed, tens of thousands, perhaps

hundreds of thousands.... Certainly tens and tens.

The price was high. The memorys of that, in those families -- memories

of that in those families, will go beyond our grandchildren's lifetime.

You are in danger of saying because the Tunisian and Egyptian elections

have not worked out how we would have liked, that's not democracy.

Is a challenge. It is still democracy.

That's like saying Hitler was elected. When you elect people who

don't believe in democracy then you're in trouble. We will see

where we get to in the future. do you think the story will end, or

at least not end? What is the next stage? Well, in Egypt I think it is

possible that the Muslim Brotherhood will respect the

election process and there will be another election when their time is

up. I don't think we should despair of the Muslim Brotherhood. I don't

want to be starry eyed. I don't think we should throw our hands in

the air and say the whole thing is over. It is not. Yet they have

banned sun bathing and not wearing too many clothes in Sharm El-Sheikh.

They have not actually done that. It's a definition where you have a

certain freedom to do what you want. In France, they banned the burqa.

Not when you are sunbathing. We are getting lost in the sunbathing

thing. We are. Certain policies decide to ban clothing and I think

that's bad. Are you as optimistic as Michael My optimism is so

heavily qualified, that it's not quite pessimism, but it's probably

realism, let's put it like that. How do you feel? I think you have

to be optimistic. That's where it's about negotiation with people

talking and being open. You have to wait and see. You don't think you

should make decisions here and now. There's a long way to go and you go

forward hopefully. The interesting thing would be to see what the West

reaction is, because we never saw this coming. Our expensive Foreign

Office camel corps never told us this was going to happen. It was

completely unforeseen this time last year. Maybe we have no idea

what will happen next. We usually have no idea about most things.

Jonny, come back in here. Show the audience how useless they are.

yeah. They're not bad. It is Christmas. The spirit of Christmas

is still alive and well. Here we go. Which godfather, who got his just

desserts has the X Factor? better give them a clue. This would

be Gaddafi, perhaps. No. Much worse than that. If I give you a clue,

Michael, you will get it. It's Bashar Al-Assad. That's your two

strikes and you're out. The clue. Right. The perpetrator was taken in

to custardy. This would be Osama Bin Laden. Right. Run the VT. I

know you did, Jonny. I was trying to make it easy. I thought it was

about being accused of being a godfather. Sometimes you need to

spell it out. Try another one, because we are on a roll here.

got to get this one. Which conference comedian has the X

Factor? Give them another clue. She's not short of material.

should know this. A tall comedian. She is a conference comedian and

she is short. Oh, Sarah Teather. Run the tape. I want to get back to

my hotel room to watch Strictly Come Dancing. Do you watch it? Of

course you do. I heard they've got Peter haun booked for the next

series. He's -- Peter Hain booked for the next series. He's doing the

tango or has he been tang owed. Record has been out shopping with

Andy Coulson and they've bought him a pair of tap shoes for the next

series. Back to George Osborne, you heard he's quite keen to get on the

show as well. He wants to do a line dance. She kept going. She didn't

know what to do. Jonny come back later. Sarah Teather has says she

no longer wants to borrow our script writer. Time to return --

Time now to open our final Christmas present and return to

Downturn Abbey. Look at Michael's little face, he's so excited! What

will Santa bring Lord Letts and his struggling servants? Will butler

Maguire save Christmas and will they all return home to Downturn in

It was Christmas morning. Lord Letts was still dreaming of a

return to the good old days of boom and bust, but outside the streets

were full of festive cheer. Maguire, come quickly. Look outside.

Wow. Look at that. It's all kicking off down there. Looking really

tasty. Our revolutionary brothers and sisters are throwing off shir

shackles. Hor ray for -- their shackles. Horray for comrade

Cameron. Him next door will have to start helping around here. OK,

after I get his breakfast. Is it Christmas Day already? Revolution's

broken out. They are revolting. The prifleplgd lot like you will soon

be out db privileged lot like you will soon be out on your ear, but

first would you like breakfast? boiled eggs with soldiers. After

breakfast I persuaded Lord Letts to spread some good cheer. I bet

there's no-one else in that tent. The real protest ez are just

beginning. Remember what happened when the for -- protests are just

beginning. Remember what happened when the Tories tried to steal

pensions. Yes, lovely. To those considering strike action, at a

time when discussions or on-going, I would say to you these strikes

are wrong. Not that comrade Miliband always covered himself in

glory. He needs to be fiery and louder and clearer. He was good on

Murdoch and threw his lot in with the people in the tents, but then

disowned the striking workers. Sometimes it just feels like he's

not knowing whether he's coming or going. He had a pretty good middle

of the year. I like the way he took on that rueperts Murdoch. He's got

balls, but he -- Ruperts Murdoch. He's got balds, but he also has Ed

Balls. He's not going to get far until he dumps that Shadow

Chancellor of his. Poor old Nick Clog has gone to looking weedy. He

lost his referendum on electoral reform and on Europe and he had to

hide in his office instead of going to the House of Commons. You will

see a strong liberal identity in a strong coalition Government. You

might even call it muscular liberalism. All three have been arm

wrestling with factions in their parties. Nick Clegg on the

coalition. Cameron on Europe. And Ed Miliband on support for the

unions and strike. I hate to admit the only man who has come out

looking stronger is the man in charge and that's for all the wrong

reasons, David Cameron. Don't worry, I'm sure we'll all be back in

Downturn next year. Besides, I'm being paid my bonus and it's time

you were given your presents. Happy Christmas. Thank you. But, my Lord,

it's a P45. Exactly, it's time you all joined the self-employed and

then we can all be millionaires. God save us, every one. So, dear

Polly I hope you are coping with life in the work house. Maybe next

year we'll all get back to Downturn. There's talk of a big push here in

Europe in the new year. Whatever happens, it's a lot safer than

being back home. Merry Christmas. Great stuff. You kind of think the

acting profession hasn't got much to worry about. David, you

mentioned at the start, the riots and leaving London when they were

beginning to kick off. We have had the riots and the occupy movement

and public sector strikes. But given state of the economy and how

much people are hurting, isn't it surprising there's not been more

protests? There is, but the big danger is apathy. That people feel

they can't do anything or make any difference, that they are not being

listened to. I think last year was very interesting. I felt the riots

were the end of a really long list of things where people had looked

at this and there was no moral guidance from anybody. They were

looking at this sort of politician $and looking at the newspaper

industry and it -- politicians and looking at the newspaper industry

and it was as if the perfect storm had happened and then the incidents

in Tottenham just set it off. we clearer to know Diane, whether

the riots had some fundamental causes or were basically an abhor

ration? I think the Tottenham riot was different from what happened

after. It was a classic race riot. A black man died at the hapbtdz of

the police. But what -- hands at the police. But what cascaded and

what happened in Clapham and Salford, was different. I think

these are people that feel they have nothing to lose, no stake in

society. There's a horrible streak of terialism. They didn't look book

shops, but trainer shops and mobile -- materialism. They didn't loot

book shops, but trainer shops and mobile phone shops. Do you agree

with that? Yeah, I think I do. I would like to go back on the point

David made. I think public opinion is having an effect. I don't mean

riots, but public opinion. The coalition is committed to splitting

the high street banks from the investment arms. It is demanding

greater capitalisation of the banks. I think public opinion has kept the

focus on the problem of banking in this country in a serious way and

we'll see more action on the banks. I think middle England actually is

very cross with the bankers. It is very cross. In a sense it's

splietly surprising that the capitalist party is doing so well

in the polls. You were once the protest vote, the Lib Dems. That

ain't going to happen for the foreseeable future? I wouldn't have

thought so. There is a by-election on tonight, but I don't think there

is any evident in the course of this brief campaign that the Lib

Dems will be any beneficiaries of anything. You were going to come

behind the BNP or something. knows. We'll see the result. That

sense of escape valve has gone. Which the Liberal Democrats offered.

Labour are not offering it. The Conservatives in Government and

that means you have got to be careful here in England. That's

there's not a non-Parliamentary. There is an extreme form of

expression. That's why I just said to David it's surprising there

hasn't been more of an extra Parliamentary protest. It's our

yes/no interlude and I want yes or no, not maybe or ah. Will Ed

Miliband survive the year. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. I hate it when you

all agree. Will the coalition survive not just next year, but all

the way through to 2015, Charles? Yes. No. No. Yes. 50/50. I like

that. Will 2012 be tougher than 2011? Yes. Yes Yes. You are all

right there. We ain't seen nothing yet. Nothing about the euro.

right. Will all 17 countries be members by the end of 2012

answer is No. You can't wait for that to happen. Jonny come back.

This is our final question. Which long, tall gadget freak has the X

Factor? Give them a clue. She can't stop rab iting on. -- rab it -- rab

bitting on. Mr Bercow. -- Mrs Bercow. What's that noise? It's a

rabbit. Special thanks to Jonny and David for being our special guests

tonight. Diane we are used to. That's your lot for tonight folks.

In fact, that's your lot for 2011. It's mince-pie-and-a-pint night at

Annabel's, which means that if Charles' cab can run a few red

lights, within half an hour we'll all be happily snuggled-up in

Diane's regular booth - watching Michael do the hokey-cokey with

Alan Johnson and a drunken euro bond dealer called Stan. What a

wonderful life. But we leave you with, who else, everyone's