21/11/2013 This Week

Tonight, as the BBC celebrates 50 years of Doctor Who, join This Week

as we save the political universe. With danger stalking the city

streets, is it time for politicians to regenerate our roads and make

them safer for Britain's cyclists? Time travelling, humanoid alien,

otherwise known as Jon Snow, comes to the rescue. I don't have a lot in

common with Doctor Who. He has a scarf and I have a tie. He has a

TARDIS and I have a bike. One strange creature possibly from

Planet Gallifrey, the Rev Paul Flowers, is causing an implosion on

planet Westminster. The Mirror's Kevin Maguire is studying the

fallout. In a week when politicians traded fire over Army cuts and who

runs the banks, I bet the Reverend Flowers wishes he could go back in

time. And how do we travel into the future

if we're unprepared? Master of cooking Delia Smith wants to

regenerate some basic life skills. And I can tell you one thing, the

studio is not bigger on the inside. Reverse the polarity of the neutron

flow. Evenin' all. Welcome to This Week.

Well who'd have thunk it? The Co-op, that nice ethical place me old mum

used to shop and bank and get her divvy from - remember the divvy -

turns out to be the Bank of Breaking Bad, run by a debauched evil genius

called Flowers, masquerading as a crystal Methodist preacher man. It

was the perfect cover. And he was the perfect bank manager. Off his

skull on horse tranquillisers at rent boy orgies, he was never going

to worry about your overdraft, was he? He certainly never worried about

Labour getting high on the bank's supply, with cheap mutli-million

pound loans happily renewed and increased, especially after he

became Off-His-Ed Miliband's NBF, which was a shrewd move by Ed, since

Labour's credit-worthiness meant their only alternative was Wonga.

Perhaps genius is the wrong word for the rev. When asked by the Commons

Banking Committee the size of his bank's assets he insisted, twice,

they totalled ?3bn. The real figure was ?47bn. If he'd known that, think

how much more he'd have loaned Labour, or how big a run on meth and

rent boys would there have been? At least he brought some welcome

innovation to British banking. Co-op cash machines now give you four

simple choices. Cash, coke, crystal, or ket. Genius, indeed! Speaking of

those who are off their heads, I'm joined on the sofa tonight by two

men who just aren't half as much fun as Reverend Flowers. Think of them

as the unqualified and unsuitable of late night political chat. I speak,

of course, of #manontheleft Alan "AJ" Johnson, and #sadmanonatrain

Michael "Mind the Gap" Portillo. Your moment of the week? I read this

morning that it is thought that four Britons had in killed in Syria

fighting for Al-Qaeda. It is thought up to 300 buttons have gone out to

Syria to fight. It is thought 500,000 written is visit Pakistan

every year. I mention Pakistan because it is probably the hot bed

of radicalism. Some of those may be going to be radicalised. When a week

or two ago the security chiefs appeared in front of a Commons

committee, one of them will you did to looking for a needle in a

haystack. It gives us an idea of the Needle and the haystack. Among these

people there will be some who could represent a huge danger to the

country and we rely on the security forces to find them. They come back

well trained and up for it. And ready to radicalise others and get

them to go out. Moment of the week, month and year was when Maria Miller

announced yesterday morning that Hull was the UK city of culture. Why

was that important to you? It means a lot to the city. Andrew motion,

the biographer of Larkin, said something after the fishing industry

collapsed, it was the biggest fishing port in the world and it

almost collapsed overnight. He said Hull is at the end of one kind of

life, waiting for a new one to begin. A feeling in Hull is that the

new life began with the recognition as the UK city of culture.

Now, "selfie" has been named word of the year by the chaps at Oxford no

less. So, ever-ready to jump the shark, we're launching our own This

Week version, the TWelfie. See what we did there? So tweet us your

TWelfie. We want actual photographic evidence somebody out there is

watching this drivel. Make sure you include yourself, plus Michael, Alan

or my good self on the TV screen. Extra points for a glass of Blue Nun

in shot. And if we get more than half a dozen, we might even put them

in the end credits. Now, cast your absent minds back to

that Tory make over of yesteryear, when nothing screamed "modern" like

call-me-Dave riding to work on a bike, chauffeur following behind

with briefcase, cucumber sandwiches and jar of gentleman's relish. But

with six fatalities on London streets in the past two weeks, and

over 3,200 cyclists killed or seriously injured last year, cycling

has become a dangerous business. So is it time for politicians to take

two wheels more seriously? We turned to Channel 4 News presenter and keen

bike man Jon Snow for his take of the week.

I have been cycling two, from, at work for 40 years, I would say, but

every day I come within perhaps a second or an inch of very serious

trouble. So the news that six cyclists have

been killed on the streets of London in the last two weeks must make

every cyclist think again and again, there but for the grace of God go

I. Can I introduce you to the shortest

cycle lane in London? It is 25 feet. You see, politicians are in complete

confusion about cycling. On the one hand, they want us to cycle because

we are so fat and unfit. But do they want to spend any money on it? ?150

million has been granted this year, which is big by their standards but

it will do nothing. Politicians tend to see everything through the eyes

of the motorist, but I believe there will be huge rewards for the first

political leader who decides they want to redraw the urban map to

favour and prioritise both pedestrian and the cyclist.

I fully accept that there is a pretty good deal of bad behaviour

among cyclists in the urban jungle, but you will not get good behaviour

until you have provision. That means filters on traffic light especially

for cyclists, separated cycleways, warning signals on trucks. We

respond to our surroundings, and for now, it is a dog eat dog world.

Proving you can ride a bike, deliver a piece to camera and crash into the

car in front of you. At least he got to the studio safely. Welcome back

to this week. These deaths in London, is this a trend or a

terrible coincidence? Probably a terrible coincidence because

generally deaths of cyclists have been falling. But six in nine days

is not good. You are a cyclist. I used to do a lot more cycling. Do

you not feel the streets are more dangerous? The problem is that

cycling has become a success, partly because of the Olympics, but also

because people want to become fitter, and because traffic jams in

London have got very bad. So there are many more. Where once I might

see four cyclists on my way to work, I now see 80 or 90. That is over a

period of 30 years. But in the meantime, nothing has changed except

for paint on the road which means nothing. There are some bike lanes

now in our cities. Paint on the road. You can still swerve onto them

in a car. The armadillo, a little blob which they bolt into the road

and is cheap to put in, you would feel that if you went into the lane

with a car. Supposing money was not an object, what would you do that

would make the streets bike friendly? I am afraid you would have

to move on the motorist. You would have to say the congestion charge, a

terrific invention which only affected fifth in percent of people

who drive in central London who live in London, and most people driving

in central London have come from outside, you would have two trouble,

quadruple it. To stop the cars coming in? There is no requirement

for a private car in the middle of London. I voice found the trucks

dangerous. He would have to limit them somehow and make them smaller,

possibly. Are their votes, Michael, in cyclists? There are probably more

votes in motorists. There were not for Ken Livingstone. He got his

congestion charge through precisely because motorists were in the

minority. But then he lost. The congestion charge has been a success

but I would have thought there were more votes in motorists. I am not

sure you have to be anti-motorist. One of the things that happened in

Scandinavian countries is that cycle lanes are carved out of pedestrian

areas, rather than out of driver areas. If you have a wide pavement,

you can paint a narrow cycle lane, which gives enough room for a

cyclist in each direction. You then have two educate pedestrians. I am

always in great danger in these cities where there are cycle lanes.

In Amsterdam, you forget. After a while, you would get used to it. I

think there are things that could be done. I began this evening being

fairly anti-your whole idea, but when I heard in the introduction

that 3200 cyclists each year are injured or killed, I was completely

shocked. I had no idea it was that many. The number of motorists who

die on the road is 5000. One of the other things in London is the

introduction of the Barclays Bank bicycles, which have been a great

step forward. Then people do not have to bring their bicycle in. I

used to represent postmen and women who had to cycle for a living. We

had a hell of a job to convince Royal Mail to actually hand out

helmets as part of the uniform. It was a long struggle. I noticed you

were wearing your helmet and high visibility jacket. The thing I find

interesting is that this is a test for Boris. Boris has kind of

achieved his reputation on being a bit of a show man. This is a big

little issue for him. He has championed cyclists. But I noticed

in the week he was talking about forbidding cyclists wearing

earphones. I support that. You have to have every sense with you. But

the main problem is lorries turning left with cyclists on the inside. If

you do not hear the lorry, you are in trouble. There does not seem to

be evidence that earplugs are the problem. I think Boris needs to do

more thinking on this. I am not anti-motorists. I think they would

have a better time that they could not drive in central London, because

they would be able to travel by public transport, which is working

extraordinarily well. But you seem not to be thinking about the HGV

problem. In Paris, they banned HGV vehicles from the centre of Paris

rush hour. And I hear that last year they had not one single cyclist

death. The HGV problem must be the biggest aplomb, rather than cars in

general. They had a fatality many years ago and decided to fit the

trucks with warning sounds on the left saying, truck turning left. I

think that is effective. But you may well have to change our habits of

delivery. There are many more cyclists than before in all major

cities and towns, but cyclists are not yet a political lobby. They are

not yet a powerful political group. I think the pedestrian would

benefit, too, because there is a threat at the moment to the

pedestrian from the cyclist. The pedestrian suffers most, and they

complain most. And then cab-drivers. Who are the political champions of

cyclists? Boris must the one. David Cameron was undone by the car

chasing behind. We have the baronet, Sir George Young, but not many. And

Andrew Mitchell. There are lots of champions in the Olympic line-up,

but not in the Commons. If you were to make the city - I take the point

of the congestion charge, although it may mean only the well-off could

drive in. I would ban the private car from the centre of cities. In

London, you do not need a private car between Park Lane and the bank,

or Euston and the river. I would allow taxis, minicabs, possibly. But

there is no requirement for them. The infrastructure for public

transport in central London is excellent.

The Times has been woken up by the tragedy of their own female reporter

who is still in a coma now, year after being knocked under a truck.

Do you think it is now getting too dangerous?

I wouldn't advocate my daughter is right in central London because I

think it is too dangerous. Unless you are very experienced.

Would you accept there is a breed of cyclists that is the enemy of

cycling, aggressive, unpleasant? The present lack of provision reads

aggression. I want to be out front, I want to be seen, I like the boxes

in front of the cars, many cars or in the box, frankly. But I want to

be in the front, I want to be seen, I don't want to be on the left,

ever. A lot of the paint takes you along the left. These bike lanes

take you along the left. If you have the armadillos the trucks wouldn't

cross those. Are you going to cycle home tonight? I am going to get a

cab. I did arrive on my bike. In a recession, the taxi drivers take

you. Thank you.

It is reverend flowers late. One of the most iconic and integrating

figures of the known universe, a Dalek, Delia Smith has come among

us. Don't forget to send in your Twelfie. When Michael was defence

secretary he was the latter-day Julius Caesar, compounding lesions

of men -- commanding. He is lucky if he can command the support of his

own party for stop --. With skirmishes breaking out on both

sides of the house we said Kevin Maguire off to boot come. Here is

his round-up of the week. -- Boot camp. After you have seen this you

will want the return of national service.

Hand out your pocket and stand to attention.

I thought he was talking to Corporal Clegg. Come on, get up there.

It is a dirty job covering Westminster politics, every day

brings a new obstacle. It is like one through mud, are you watching,

Lord lovers? The government was on fire, planning to issue marching

orders to 25 regular soldiers and replace them with reservists. --

25,000. There has been a number of claims about these amendments. We

are trying to ruin plans. We are saying let's pause for a brief

moment, we need to check whether these plans stand up. He accused him

of aiding the red enemy, Hammond on the skirmish. The government has set

out its plan, we are legislating to delivery, the Army has embraced it

wholeheartedly, for Parliament to introduce additional tripwires at

this stage would create uncertainty.

Training, training and more training. That makes a good soldier.

Could you imagine a former councillor getting a conviction for

indecency, conviction for taking drugs, little experience of

banking, and running and ethical bank, could it happen? Cameron has

all but -- ordered an enquiry into how he was running the bank? Why

won't alarm bells rung earlier, particularly by those who knew. They

will be important in the coming days that those who do have information

bring it to the authorities. He is also playing party politics. His

scriptwriters got a bit carried away with the drug jokes. Can he tell the

house when under his esteemed leadership and that of the

Chancellor, Britain can now expect to catch up with them?

I want to ask whether it is parliamentary to use such an

unjustifiable route and offensive phrase about another honourable

member? The kernel apologised for his

strokes, or part of the theatre that is prime ministers questions. Major

Miliband cannot protect his own involvement. He was having a

nightmare about the leaked e-mail about the Shadow Chancellor.

His close friend of planning Minister is right, he says this,

there are many people who don't like the Tory party and don't trust their

motives. He says the Prime Minister is not the man to reach them. What

he is saying is this Prime Minister is a loser.

Labour couldn't believe it's not when a Tory minister said people

wouldn't dream of voting Conservative. The tension between

traditionalists and modernisers, were apparently it was a get rid of

the green crap.. Labour hopes they will serve as fifth columnist so

Miliband occupies Downing Street from the back door.

Both sides skirmishing ahead of the all-out war Scotland. There is an

optimum level of taxation from an independent Scotland. Across a range

of taxation we will be setting up was abilities, and menu of options,

if the SNP were elected and trusted to govern in Scotland that is how we

do things better. Hostilities are heating up in

Scotland, these are just the opening shots of what will be a long

campaign, it should be pasty next week when the white paper is

published. -- tasty. It is not as bad as it is made out to be, this

military game. Thank you, Corporal Clegg, one of my army of special

advisers, it is how I got round the course.

Famous for doing all his own stunts for stop not. How can it be after

the huge failure of bank regulation that helped the crash of 2008, that

under a Labour government and with the regulators complicit, you

appointed somebody to run one of the ten biggest banks in the country who

couldn't even read a balance sheet? Amazing, we didn't appoint him, the

co-opted. -- the co-opted. -- the Co-op did. We have had banks that

have money laundered, been involved in scandals, Miss old insurance --

Miss old. The Co-op bank has gone through a dreadful time. The Lloyds

bank merger, Flowers had a couple of meetings, visits to Downing Street,

the pressure was on them to merge. All three parties were in favour of

it. They all wanted the Co-op bank to buy Lloyds branches.

This government had responsibility for judicial allegiance. It was

madness. When we learned certain big banks were involved helping the

Mexican drug cartels laundered money, when we learnt that policies

were being mis-sold, that should never have been sold, the one that

we were told that was different, that was ethical, that was clean,

there would never get its hands dirty, was the Co-op. It wasn't

involved in all that, it seems to have appointed the separated twin of

the Mayor of Toronto. You are in a different league in terms of what

you describe, and yet all of that, I have not heard Cameron or Osborne

say anything about what the banks were doing for a long time. Now this

idea that what has happened in the Co-op could be placed at the feet of

Ed Miliband or the Labour Party, it is quite frankly ridiculous. He was

close to him, he met him twice. For the Prime Minister, while Andy

Coulson and Rebecca Brooke -- while Andy Coulson is in the docks...

He only met him twice? More the Mac. -- more than that. He put him on his

business advisory committee. He met him on March this year and loans

came from the Co-op to Labour. You say never something wrong? -- I do

saying something was wrong? It was a low interest rate you or I

couldn't get. I might surprise you, but first of

all vertical interference in banks is generally disastrous. One of the

reasons why the government was so anxious Lloyds flogged their

branches was they were persuaded to buy the bank of Scotland so all

these interferences are terrible. It is deeply shocking the FSA approved

Flowers in 2010. It was absolutely customary, to appoint as chairman of

a bang, somebody who knew nothing about banking. Certain names come to

mind. How did the Lib Dems play this? I think the mutual mudslinging

about who was closer to the Co-op and who the scandal will stick to

can become trivial. I do understand there is an issue that the enquiry

might happen close to the general election, because of the other

enquiries that might have to happen first. You can see why David Cameron

wants to pin this on Labour. But what matters about this story is the

networks of power in this country. How is it that somebody like this

character can rise to such an extraordinary position and keep that

position? That extraordinary appearance at the select committee

where he admitted he thought the balance sheet said 3 billion, rather

than 47, why did the flares not go up? I think there is something

really wrong here. You are right about Rob board in Toronto, but he

was at least elected. The era of open appointments to things gets a

lot of stick but there is a reason why we should have more diversity,

more women at the top of banking. We now have a woman in charge of the

Co-op bank who knows as much about banking as reverend flowers. You

often get a woman appointed to clear up a mess which has been made. This

is not a gender issue. None of them know anything about banking. I am

not sure that is true about this woman. In Lincolnshire, she ran a

Co-op in Lincolnshire with amazing success. But not the banking side. I

don't know what her experience has been in banking. But the Co-op does

not own the Co-op any more. It is hedge fund is. Vincent cable is

looking at whether it is entitled to call itself a Co-op. It is a huge

tragedy. My plea is that it is treated in a grown-up way, rather

than trying to turn it into... If it was some Tory, you would not be

saying that. I would hope we had more justification than Cameron.

Should we have a moment of silence for the death of Tory modernisation?

I do not think David Cameron has given up on Tory modernisation. I

think intellectually he still probably believes he needs to be on

the centre ground. Time to ditch the green crap? That was only one

aspect. The overseas aid thing has survived. Equal marriage, he did

that. But we are talking about now. All of the mood music from the

Cameron camp now is of a return to Tory basics. Yes. But as a summary

of his total position, to ignore the risky to with his own party on gay

marriage would be an unbalanced representation of what he has done

for the Tory party. Your party keeps on saying, we are the nice people

and we did all of the good things and all of the bad things was the

horrible Tories. That is right. You know it is rubbish. The point that

Nick Bowles was making was interesting. He has fallen out with

the Lib Dems completely, it seems. It is the idea that if you are going

to do something like push through equal marriage, which may be

unpopular with your right wing, you are not getting the credit for it.

It is an important message for David Cameron, which is that you are

riding two horses at the moment. It is the signal that it sends. And the

speech was also about young people and how they do not feel any

identification with anyone in politics. It is a wider message. Is

it good or bad for Labour that Tory modernisation is dead? I think it is

dead, or grasping for air. It is good for Labour. Cameron before, and

Michael, who started this off, that reasonableness that Cameron was

expressing in opposition and was there at the beginning, has

gradually eroded. The speech was incredible is similar to one I made

in 1997, and to one that Cameron made in 2004. Now, it's easy to

drift through life relying on others to get their hands dirty and

fingernails chipped. But some skills always come in handy. Knowing how to

change a fuse if the lights go out. Knowing how to change a plug if the

kettle won't boil. Knowing how to install a bank of telephone lines if

you're planning a leadership challenge against a sitting Prime

Minister. These are essential skills we should all have at our disposal.

And that's why we've decided to demonstrate our own, and put "life

skills" in this week's Spotlight. You would not dream of giving an

18-year-old a bunch of car keys and a car and saying, offer you go, you

can now drive. You have to have lessons. You have to learn.

Who would argue with Delia Smith and her personal mission to teach kids

to cook? My ambition and dream is that anyone who wants to learn to

cook cam. The British Council claims an alarmingly small number of Brits

can speak a foreign language, and with careers advice in schools

branded appalling this week, maybe we should listen to Simon Cowell,

who says the secret of success is to be useless at school and then get

lucky. Something that graduates will be thrilled to hear, as 47% of them

are apparently now stacking shelves in non-graduate jobs. So, are their

skills we need for life, and what should they be? It seems the only

life skill you cannot do without these days is an ability to take a

self portrait. There was no film in the camera.

Delia Smith, welcome to the programme. Good to see you. Is

cooking a life skill? It is useful, but is it essential? It is the most

important life skill, because it enriches your life. If you can make

beautiful food at home every day and enjoy good food, your life is

enriched, definitely. And it brings with it lessons of discipline and

creativity, all sorts of other things that are applicable

elsewhere? Absolutely. It encompasses lots of things.

Community. Sharing food with people. Sitting round a table. We do not do

that very often now. And it saves a lot of money. Because it is cheaper

to cook at home than to buy three prepared, or go to a restaurant. And

instead of a sad ready meal, you have something delicious and

beautiful and it makes you feel good. Are we losing this skill?

Definitely. Young people are afraid to cook and I think that is very

sad. And many older people are afraid to cook. People are afraid,

and I know for certain that you cannot just get into the kitchen and

cook. You have to be taught. When you say young people are afraid to

cook. Why? Because it is a skill and you need to learn it. You would not

drive a car without having lessons but you are expected, you leave

school, live on your own, go to university, whatever, and suddenly

you have to go and cook. It is interesting we have lost this skill

at a time when food and restaurants and, they have never been better.

When I first came to London, London was a culinary desert. Now, it is

probably the best city in the world to dine out. And TV is full of

programmes. And yet it has never been covered more, yet we are not

good at it any more. It is good that we are more educated about food. And

as you say, you have cooking from around the world. In the

supermarket, you can shop around the world. We know a lot, and many of

the programmes have taught people a lot, but the skills of actually

cooking are not being taught. Is it that lifestyles are too hectic?

Lifestyles are hectic. The television, I was able to teach one

generation to cook. It is fantastic media to be able to communicate in

people's homes. But then it became minority programmes. BBC Two was

created for minority programmes. They had a department called further

education, of which I was part. And we were able to teach people because

they had their own slot. But that all went, and suddenly you are into

audience ratings and not what it was created for in the first place,

minorities. And off you go, and it has to be more and more

entertaining. Is cooking a life skill? Not in the sense of a skill

you need to five. You can buy instant food and go out to

restaurants, -- not a skill you need to survive. The thing that has

perplexed me is that I'm astonished if the skill is not improving given

the almost saturation coverage of cooking programmes on television.

And they are on now because they do get the ratings, and they are

incredibly cheap to make. As cheap as this programme? Nothing could be

that cheap. I think you are too modest about this. It started with

you. You go into any kitchen, practically, and you will find the

original book that you did. It was boiling and a. I never cooked until

I was in my 30s, and it was this whole idea that you should be

involved in cooking, something you enjoy. If you enjoy eating food, you

can explore the ability to cook it. I would find it extraordinary if it

was disappearing. I thought it was flourishing, and you are one of the

main reasons. The interest in food has been transformed. Yes, I agree.

We have an online cookery school, and we did a survey of 200 schools.

50% of pupils did not know how to soft boil an egg. 90% of pupils said

they would really love to learn to cook. You were one of the people who

started getting cooking back into schools, because the Thatcher

government took it out. And you started to get a long way down the

line. Change of government and it is all ditched. But now, your

government is getting back in again. It is coming back next year and it

is in the curriculum. And I'm sure a lot of the money you spent has

helped to pay for it. But they can only teach people 15 recipes,

apparently, from the age of 11 to 14. That would get you through a

week. We do not put enough emphasis on life skills, do we? It is

different skills now it is about technology. Information technology

is a life skill now and we put effort into that. You are really

disabled if you are not able to access the internet. That is how I

am teaching people to cook. I am way ahead of my time. And so now you can

learn to cook. You can put your tablet on the fridge, and you can

stop it, rewind, sit on the bus and learn how to make an omelette. I am

going to do it. I am going to teach people to cook.

That's your lot for tonight folks, but not for us because we're off to

The Welly Club, on Beverley Road in Hull. Local MP, Alan, has promised

to show Michael and me how the new City of Culture won its title.

Delia's giving it a miss. She's still barred. But we leave you

tonight with dramatic evidence that, despite what we've been told, there

really are unintelligent life forms out there after all. Nighty-night,

don't let the TWelfie bite. # You're so vain

# You probably think this song is about you. #