22/02/2018 This Week

Tonight on This Week,

we attempt to answer

all the big questions.

Like, where has all

the chicken gone?

No!

Deep fat fryer Jane Moore

rounds up a finger-licking

good political week.

This chicken looks so yummy.

And unlike KFC, these guys

have actually got some.

Sorry, mate.

George "Pluck Pluck" Galloway

ruffles a few feathers and looks

forward to a Jezza foreign policy.

Labour shouldn't clip

their diplomatic wings by chickening

out on a hard Brexit.

And cocky comedian Geoff Norcott

thinks we've all gone

mother clucking crazy.

Michael and Liz, you boneless dips.

Get your family

buckets to the ready.

This Week's come home to roost.

Evenin' all.

Welcome to This Week.

And at a time when there has been

much in the public prints about dear

Jezza's innocent dealings

with a Czech spy masquerading

as a diplomat - who knew that's

what these fiendish commies got up

to during the Cold War -

I think it only fair to fess up

and admit that I too was one

of their useless idiots.

Mr Corbyn was given

the code name Agent Cob.

My secret moniker was Agent Nob.

Dunno why!

But there you are.

They said it suited me.

As they plied me with unlimited

Blue Nun I freely revealed

the scheduled departure of the 9.45

from Chipping Sudbury to Paddington.

9.45, as it happens.

"When is the ten O'Clock

News", they demanded.

"Ten O'Clock", I blurted out.

"Does anyone watch This Week",

they wanted to know.

I burst out laughing.

"No, we thought not",

said my handlers.

Thus did I pass on some of our most

vital secrets to our sworn enemies.

And, unlike the saintly

Jezza, who was not paid

to tell them anything

because even if he was minded to,

which he wasn't, he knew nothing

worth paying for anyway,

I was of a more materialistic bent.

Yes, I betrayed our nation

for a year's supply of Blue Nun

vodka and a huge tin of caviar

for Molly the Dog.

She likes her Russian

treats, you know.

And when you do late night TV

on the BBC you need to find some way

to supplement your pittance

of an income.

Speaking of those you'd

pay just to shut up,

I'm joined on the sofa by two folks

so out of the loop that even

Communist diplomats with huge

expense accounts couldn't be

bothered to give them

them the time of day,

even over a cup of tea

in a greasy spoon.

I speak of course Liz

#fourpercent Kendall

and Michael #choochoo Portillo.

Welcome, both. Your moment of the

week, Michael.

The relevant select

committee, according its

Conservatives, rejected the

government's nomination for the new

chairman of the Charity Commission.

I think Charity is a pretty serious

subject nowadays. We can see a

couple disintegrating before our

eyes. There is also another issue

that some charities have

unacceptable agendas at the

masquerade as charities and need to

be unmasked. In other words, this is

a serious business. The baroness has

been rejected not least because she

has no experience of regulation or

charities. It illustrates that the

government has no idea where its

interests lie and cannot understand

its own priorities.

Do we know if

the government is going ahead with

the appointment?

The government has

said that, but time will tell.

Never

have charities been more in the

spotlight, and never has it been

more important to get the proper

regulator in the charities

commission. Liz, your moment.

The

failure of the UN Security Council

tonight to agree a ceasefire in

Syria, despite the latest

unimaginable horror in Eastern

Ghouta. Russia is clearly, again,

blocking the resolution, despite

some serious amendments. And it was

very interesting tonight that the

French ambassador said if a

resolution is not agreed it will be

a devastating blow to confidence in

the Security Council, and possibly

even the death knell of the UN. A

serious and severe warning, and we

have to make sure that isn't right.

That is very big news. Very well.

Two very good moments. One domestic,

one foreign. That is how balanced we

are.

Now, it's rarer than a KFC chicken

these days but yesterday the leader

of the Opposition used PMQs to quiz

Theresa May about about Brexit.

You always get the impression our

Jezza doesn't really give

a monkey's about it.

He's more a Stop the War,

unless Russia, Syria

or Hezbollah started

it, kinda guy.

And though Tory dither,

drift and indecision about Brexit

should be fertile ground for any

Opposition to exploit, well,

he might not be entirely simpatico

with the pro-EU mainstream

of his own party.

So best give it a miss.

Which raises an

interesting question.

What would foreign policy be under

a Corbyn government?

Despite all the daily party

political argy-bargy,

there's been a pretty consistent

Labour-Tory

bipartisanship since WW2.

Pro-Nato, pro-America,

pro-Commonwealth, pro-free trade,

pro-globalisation and,

until recently, pro-EU,

though that road's often been more

rocky for both sides.

I think we can be sure a Corbyn

government would break that

foreign policy consensus.

Here's George Galloway

with his take of the week.

People accuse Jeremy Corbyn

of playing games over Brexit,

but with a party deeply divided over

the issue, he keeps his cards close

to his chest, for good reason.

Nobody can achieve a Brexit

which pleases everyone,

so why not keep a poker face whilst

Theresa May continues to play

a terrible hand over in Brussels?

Reports this morning that Corbyn

intends to use a speech on Monday

to show more of his hand

on Brexit worries me.

Providing Corbyn and the Labour

Party can continue prevaricating,

they can emerge unscathed

from the Brexit battle ground.

By contrast, whatever Mrs May

achieves will create interminable

conflict within the Conservative

party, and could be checkmate

for her pathetic premiership.

Never interrupt your enemy,

Jeremy, whilst they are

busy making a mistake.

Speculation that the speech

is going to herald a softer line

on Brexit worries me further.

Corbyn has an unlikely

ally in Jacob Rees Mogg.

If the European research group's

proposals are accepted

by the Government, we could make

a clean break from the

European Union, which is, I believe,

what Jeremy Corbyn really wants,

or ought to.

A hard Brexit means a realignment

of the stars, a once-in-a-lifetime

opportunity for Corbyn

to revolutionise Britain's relations

with the rest of the world.

Unshackled from the little

leagues on the Continent,

Corbyn could monopolise

on his new-found freedom,

realising his lifelong ambition

of engagement with his allies

in Latin America and Africa,

through the mechanism of the Brics,

fast-growing newly industrialised

countries like China,

India and South Africa.

As part of a geopolitical alignment

suited to his worldview,

Mr Corbyn could create

a new socialist pax Britannica.

Instead of isolating

so-called rogue states,

Corbyn could engage with them.

Only through dialogue can

we hope to influence

the behaviour of others.

Mr Corbyn could pivot Britain

towards trading opportunities

with parts of the world's economy

that are on the up.

Mr Corbyn could also score points

with the Labour grassroots

by eliminating two unpopular,

indeed reprehensible, partnerships.

One, with the murderous Saudi

regime, the other as poodle

to Donald Trump's alt-right

United States.

What's more, with the Trump

presidency on thin ice,

and Bernie Sanders in the ascendant,

Jeremy Corbyn is the only British

politician who could make that

special relationship

even more special.

He could transform it from one that

simply enables colonial excess

into a true transatlantic

partnership of people,

not just corporations.

Hard Brexit means everyone

is a winner, Jeremy,

so don't go soft on me now.

And fresh from his success,

George Galloway joins us now.

Well come back to the programme.

Thank you.

If Mr Corbyn took a hard

Brexit line, could he carry his

party?

No. People like Liz and many

others, more than 4%, maybe 74%,

would be hostile to that. That's why

I think he has been carefully

playing this, and he ought to

continue that, because that doesn't

then burst open the Labour Party's

divisions. And as I said, quoting

Napoleon, never interrupt your enemy

while he is busy making a mistake.

John McDonnell, Shadow Chancellor,

says Labour policy on Brexit is

evolving. Do you think it is

evolving more in your direction?

Yes, I do. And I think you will see

more next week, particularly around

the customs union, and I hope it

goes further still, around the

single market. I think the reason

why is that the leadership is

listening not just to party members,

Labour voters and the trade unions,

but understanding that I'm afraid a

hard Brexit would simply finish the

job that Thatcher began on our

manufacturing industries in the

Midlands and the North, and

undermine workers' rights and

environmental standards, all of

which are very important for the

future of our economy. And the very

strong argument that you cannot be

an anti-austerity party if you are

out of the single market and the

customs union and our economy takes

a hit.

If we go into the next

election and the dichotomy is that

we are the Tories that withdrew from

the European Union and they are

Labour that tried to betray it, that

is a disaster for Labour. 70% of

Labour held constituencies voted to

leave in the referendum. And if

Labour can be fixed as the stab in

the back party, the party that

betrayed the decision the British

people made in the wraparound, that

would be an electoral catastrophe.

There will be parts of London where

it would be of benefit, but in the

north, in the post-industrial

wastelands of the Thatcher era, it

would be a complete catastrophe.

George is right that Labour should

not interrupt their enemies while

they are making mistakes. A couple

of weeks ago I said I thought Corbyn

would not want to be Prime Minister

at this moment and I was howled

down, not least by you, but I think

George is saying the same thing, let

the Tories get on and get to Brexit

of whatever form and then the Labour

Party is not responsible for what

has happened. I don't believe there

will be a hard Brexit because I

think the European Union and

Britain, neither will want to impose

tariffs upon the other. But I

certainly think that Labour's best

interests, Corbyn's in particular,

are to allow the Tories to get on

with this for the next two years, to

be hopelessly divided about it, and

to pick up the settled consequences,

the outcome.

What about George's

wider vision of a Corbyn foreign

policy, what it could be like? What

he outlined, by and large, it has

the benefit of being what Mr Corbyn

believes. It may be right or wrong

but it is what he believes, isn't

it?

I don't think that we should be

an anti-West, anti-American,

anti-Europe, isolationist party.

That is your leader's position.

I

don't be -- believe you can build

social democracy, let alone

socialism, in one country if you

don't understand that our economy is

global, climate change, terrorism,

migration, can only be dealt with if

you play a strong role in the

international, rules -based

institutions we set up.

George was

arguing just for a different role.

And a very special relationship with

the United States, and the

great-grandson of the only woman in

the 19th century later emigrated

from the United States to Dundee.

You have seen Dundee. There is

nothing anti-American about me. I

want Corbyn and samplers to make a

really special relationship, one

involving people and not just

corporations. -- Bernie Sanders. Of

course, corporations do have their

role.

You need to get him into the

White House!

The current polls are

showing him... If he is still alive,

of course. But that is true of all

of us.

I thought this part of George's film

should be shown as a Conservative

party political broadcast, unveiling

for the Corbyn foreign policy would

be, with one foot note, if I may,

George. You mentioned Brics, and the

capital R stands for Russia. But you

did not want to mention that the

Russian military are killing off

large numbers of civilians in Syria

at the moment. The regimes you would

like to put your arm around, China

you mentioned, with massive numbers

of death penalties every year, the

highest number of death penalties.

Even more than the United States.

Mao

Mao Tse at...

For your information,

Britain is trying very hard to trade

with China, and outside of the EU,

will be in a better position to do

it.

But you socialists have more in

common with the Chinese than with

Russia.

One has to trade with all

kinds of countries, with the

exception of Saudi Arabia, I would

be in favour of trading with them,

and to trade with them, you have to

have good relations. All the

countries, 25 countries we have

sanctions against at the moment, 18

of which we have invaded in the

past.

Since you left Russia out of

your little them, would you like to

say what you feel about

say what you feel about Russia's

role in Syria?

It is cold outside,

and if it is warm indoors it is

because of Russian gas. Russia is an

important trading partner and can be

still more important.

still more important.

So murderous

regimes should be let off? If they

have gas?

Murderous regimes with

oil, you always little.

I think

getting Bernie Sanders in the White

House is a bit of a stretch, and it

would mean turning our back on our

allies, embracing Russia and Iran -

could you really sell that to the

country?

I'm asking the country to

embrace the world, to leave the EU's

fading, failing economies, with all

the stresses and strains in the EU,

it's falling apart in front of our

eyes, and embrace instead a world

where economies are rising.

The

trouble is, George, you sound no

different from Jacob Rees Mogg.

Labour Party members and voters just

won't buy that. If what we end up

having is exactly the same policy

that Jason breach -- Jacob Rees Mogg

has suggested. It's not right for

the country and it is not what party

members or

members or members want. -- what

Labour Party members want.

This is

not isolationism. It is leaving the

European Union and joining the

world. If Jacob Rees Mogg says the

same thing, well, even a stopped

clock is right twice a day, and he

is right on that if that is what

he's saying.

A final question: If Mr

Corbyn was to become prime minister,

how likely do you think is he to go

in the direction of foreign policy

that you have outlined? Does he have

the inclination to be that bold, or

is he likely to be much more

gradual?

He's not as bold as one

would have thought he would be. He

is under a lot of pressure inside

the parliamentary Labour Party. He

doesn't have two dozen people among

his MPs to actual... Actually agree

with them. Even now, the Blairites

are there in huge numbers in the

PLP. He is cautious and serene, Zen

like, you might say. I don't think

if he became prime minister he would

be knocking over the apple carts,

kicking over the money changers'

tables and so one, but he would be a

steady, slow, but steady progress in

the direction that I have been

describing.

George Galloway, thank

you.

A pleasure.

It's late, Saint Michael

of Assisi late.

Yes, the blessed Govey,

patron saint of small furry things

at the Department of Environment,

thinks it's "unkind" to keep

dumb animals cooped-up

indoors all the time.

He wants them to be able

to frolic more outside.

But politicians shouldn't

get too excited.

Even the Govester's compassion

for dumb animals has its limits.

So no gambolling on College

Green for Tory MPs.

They'll remain locked

in their Westminster

crates for the time being.

At least until the Maybot can

concoct a Brexit policy around

which they can rally.

So they could be in

captivity for some time.

Someone who's never followed

the herd is Geoff Norcott.

Indeed he's a phenomenon that's

rarer on BBC Radio 4

than Hezbollah at a Barmitzvah.

A comedian who isn't just funny -

that's rare enough

on radio these days -

but is also right of centre,

which is not just

rare but unheard of.

Bonkers, I know.

So, rather appropriately,

he'll be asking if politics

has gone "bonkers".

And if you feel compelled to bleat,

moo or cluck a few mindless

comments onto the Tweeter,

the Fleecebook, or the Snapnumpty,

well, feel free, be my guest, pull

up a bollard, sit down and tap away.

But be aware that, unlike

the Maybot, I do finish my box sets.

So I'll never get round to

seeing your drivelling.

It's been a week of spy

plots and sci-fi movies.

Of James Bond and Mad Max.

Of Cold War pasts

and dystopian futures.

Yes, all of that, and the great

finger-lickin', fried

chicken furore of 2018.

So, from deep in the deep-fat

fryer, here's Jane Moore

with her roundup of the week.

Here at This Week, we know that

Andrew simply won't get into that

presenter's chair without first

fuelling up with a bargain bucket

and a couple of gallons of Blue Nun.

So, when I heard there was a chicken

shortage at KFC, I thought I'd

better take matters

into my own hands.

Let's get to work.

# Everybody's heard

about the bird...#.

Hello?

Yes, an order for the

European research group?

Yes, OK, hang on a minute.

Right, so...

62 servings of wings, yeah.

Regulatory autonomy

for the UK post Brexit, OK.

UK free to start trade negotiations

during the transition period.

OK, yeah, yeah.

Thanks a lot, give me 20 minutes.

Bye.

A letter from Jacob Rees

Mogg's agitators gave

Theresa May something

rather tough to chew on.

Many feathers have been ruffled

as the squawking over Brexit

continues, but David Davis confused

to acknowledge the concerns of

Remainers over the potential

impact of leaving the EU.

They fear that Brexit

could lead to an

Anglo-Saxon race to the bottom,

with Britain plunged into a Mad

Max-style world borrowed

from dystopian fiction.

These fears about a race

to the bottom are based on nothing.

Whilst Damian Green stuck his beak

in to call on the Government to

publish any Brexit

impact assessments.

If analysis is being produced,

then publish it, and

frankly, there will be a big

political debate about it, and let's

have the argument in public.

That's what democracies do.

Brexiteer foxes aside,

Theresa May toured TV studios

to defend her premiership, and to

point out that when it comes to

running the country, she's still got

some eggs in her basket.

I'm doing a job, and I'm

going to jolly well get

on and do it.

And what drives me in doing

it is actually not what's

written but what people out

there want the Government to do.

But the crowing didn't

last long, feathers

flying yet again over

university tuition fees.

Amidst a lot of clucking

from certain quarters, the

PM ruled out scrapping

them completely.

Basically, you've got out

there people who will benefit

from going to university

and those who don't.

And I think it's right that those

who benefit should make a

contribution.

The crisis is involving

Oxfam and Save The

Children deepened yesterday as yet

more allegations emerged of sexually

inappropriate behaviour

by charity workers and bosses.

Former chief executive

of Save The Children Justin Forsyth

is the latest to face accusations

on his conduct.

MPs heard evidence on Tuesday.

I repeat Oxfam's broader apology,

and my personal apology.

I am sorry, we are sorry,

for the damage that

Oxfam has done, both

to

the people of Haiti, but also

to a wider efforts for aid and

development by possibly

undermining public support.

On the war path this week

was Jeremy Corbyn, who in his

speech to the EEF, seized

the opportunity to roast the banks.

We will take decisions and decisive

action to make finance the servant

of industry, not the masters of all.

And it wasn't just the financial

institutions he was clucked

off with.

Responding to accusations

that he met with spies during the

Cold War, he accused

the media of foul play.

Number Ten...

Publishing these ridiculous

smears which have

been refuted by Czech officials

shows just how worried the media

bosses are by the prospect

of a Labour Government.

They are right to be.

Hmm...

The electorate will be

the judge of that.

Oh, it's you!

Thanks!

Stories where Jeremy Corbyn isn't

accused of fraternising with a

dodgy regime seem scarcer

than hen's teeth these

days, but the Leader

of

the Opposition did a valiant attempt

to avert attention from himself at

PMQs by focusing on Brexit instead.

The Foreign Secretary recently made

a speech about Brexit, and he found

time to mention carrots,

spam, V signs, stag

parties and a plague

of

boils.

Not one mention of Northern

Ireland in his speech.

But in her response,

the Prime Minister

couldn't resist the urge

to peck at the open wound.

Can I congratulate the Right

Honourable gentleman,

because normally he stands up every

week and asks me to sign a

blank cheque, and I know he likes

Czechs, but really...

In an astonishing display

of Chicken Little syndrome,

Tory MPs read press reports

and piled into double-O Corbyn to

accuse him of, in the words of

Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson,

being a traitor.

Can I have some sauce, please?

MP Ben Bradley's neck was wrung

by Corbyn after he posted

a tweet accusing the Leader

of the Opposition of selling British

secrets to Communist spies.

Thank you.

Right, I better get

Andrew's order together.

We've run out of chicken.

Jane assures me that the chicken

from Other Side Fried

at Peckham Levels, that I didn't get

to taste, was delicious.

- G8 it all. Michael, this whole

Corbyn is a spiced up, had it

rebound badly on the Tories and the

Tory press in the end?

I don't think

so. I think it would be quite

difficult to elect as our Prime

Minister someone who was consorting

with the IRA, with Palestinian

terrorists...

It didn't play last

time ran?

No effort was made last

time because the Government thought

it would win effortlessly so no real

effort was invested.

Not a

prime-time interviews, including one

I did where Mr Corbyn was asked

rigorously about his past

associations with the IRA, and it

didn't seem to have traction, even

in the middle of an election with a

terrorist campaign which was

unprecedented.

River, no one thought

Labour would win the election, which

of course they borrow right to

assume, -- remember, no one

thought...

Haven't the Tories

overplayed their hand? We know he

has never been a fan of Western

foreign policy. He has been accused

of being too cosy with the enemies

of the West, but that is nothing to

do with the trade in the country

being a traitor.

No, but I'm afraid

it's absolutely enough to lose a

general election.

The defence

minister said he has betrayed the

country.

The idea that he had any

state secrets was ridiculous, and

that he would be motivated by money

to sell them is even more

ridiculous.

That is what I mean by

ever playing their hand.

Why do you

think these agents were interested

in talking to Jeremy Corbyn?

Because

they had to justify their salary to

their Czech masters.

They thought it

was important to infiltrate the

Labour Party, which was the

opposition party and might one day

become the Government party.

Except we have no evidence of any of

that.

Michael is right to say our

foreign policy and security policy

will come under scrutiny at the

general election. But by going on

this ridiculous claim, I think

Corbyn is right it was a smear on

him and it has backfired.

If he were

right, he would offer himself for TV

interviews, allowing himself to be

grilled about this file.

They said

they did not have a file, Michael.

He appears and says, I am

threatening the Tory press, if I

become Prime Minister I will gag it

in some way. That does not endear

him.

If Mr Corbyn is watching and he

is up for an interview, you know

where we are. It is 20 months since

the referendum, almost a year since

Article 50 was triggered, and

Cabinet ministers spent almost all

day today still trying to decide on

some of the most basic negotiating

positions of this country. Isn't

that remarkable?

It is, but the

clock is running not only for us but

also for the European Union.

But

they have decided their negotiating

position.

They may have, but they

have not decided the outcome. I

absolutely do not believe there will

be a hard Brexit. I do not believe

that the end of this will be the

imposition of tariffs by the

European Union on Britain and by

Britain on the European Union. So

something else is going to happen.

That may be true, but by any of that

happen, the Europeans need to know

our negotiating position. Mrs May

seems to be vacillating on this. We

still don't know. The word is that

the meeting broke up in Chequers

tonight the couple of hours ago. The

big divide seems to be between those

who want to diverged, if and when we

leave, from European regulations,

and those who think to get access to

all the markets we have two stay

roughly aligned, as close as we can.

I am told the divergences got the

better of the argument but there was

given steak on both sides. Is that

good or bad?

Bad. I would like us to

stay as close as possible. Whether

she got agreement amongst her

Cabinet, the real battle will be on

her backbenchers. We heard this week

that the customs and trade bill is

now not going to come to Parliament

until after the May elections. There

has been an amendment put down by

Anna Soubry and Kenneth Clarke

calling for us to remain in the

customs union, and I think Labour

will back that. She has got the

people who voted Remain, Anna

Soubry, Nicky Morgan, and then she

has Jacob Rees-Mogg and that group

who want us to stop any kind of

negotiation by March the 20th -- by

March 2019. So we would fall out on

WTO rules. She has to make a choice.

Maybe the reason there will not be a

hard Brexit is because there will

not be a majority in parliament for

it.

Absolutely right. There isn't.

I

think that is coincidentally true

but it is not the reason there will

not be a hard Brexit. It is

unimaginable that the European Union

and Britain will direct tariffs when

around the rest of the world we are

moving in a different direction,

with the exception of the United

States. We are globalising and we

would find ourselves entirely out of

step with the global trend.

On

tuition fees, the Prime Minister

came in this week. What is the sense

in entering a bidding war with

politics on this, a subject she

knows she cannot win?

She can't win,

but the reason this has gone badly

wrong is that this is the most

non-Conservative policy ever

invented. When you are selling a

rusty bicycle or a Rolls-Royce, they

cost the same amount of money. A

lousy degree in a lousy university

and a top degree in a top university

have all been priced the same. So

the student has no power. How can a

Conservative Party have invented

such a daft, crazy communist system?

I thought Labour invented it?

We

pushed it up to 9000.

Winston Churchill once said,

"A politician needs the ability

to foretell what is going to happen,

and the ability afterwards

to explain why it didn't happen".

Even by recent standards,

it's been quite a week.

David Davis invoking the spirit

of the Thunderdome to assure us

Brexit won't be as bad as Mad Max.

So that's all right then.

An earthquake in Swansea.

Not a sentence you thought

you'd ever hear.

And, rather than taking guns off

killers, in the wake of yet

another school shooting,

the President of the United States

has said that arming teachers

could be the answer.

Just as well that wasn't the policy

when Mrs MacGregor was teaching us

maths in the lower fourth.

She was already a dab

hand at whacking your

knuckles with a ruler.

Who knows what she might have

done with a Colt 45?

So has the world gone bonkers?

Almost certainly.

That's why we're putting

bonkers in the spotlight.

# Bonkers...#

Is it just me,

or has the world gone crazy?

No!

KFC plunged fast food lovers

into despair after its chicken

shortage led to consumer chaos.

I've had to go to Burger King.

It's what?

Ridiculous.

Surely there's enough chicken.

But was it just a little bit

bonkers to see the Queen

at London Fashion Week?

Her Maj noted the conditions

were rather hard underfoot.

Although the course seemed

quite straightforward.

And just how crazy do you have to be

to give birth to your child on air.

Hi, buddy.

As US radio presenter

Cassidy Proctor did this week.

She even got the audience

to name her newborn.

Meanwhile, Theresa May says her life

is so bonkers she can't even find

the time to finish a box set.

I never get to the end of a box set.

For Ukip at least, another leader

down, the shambles is nothing new.

I'm constantly being told

by political experts that Ukip

is finished and that nobody

really cares any more,

nobody knows what its purpose is.

And what of serious politics?

Is it bonkers that we have to look

to grime musician Stormzy to hold

the Prime Minister to account?

The artist took a swipe

at Theresa May at the Brits last

night over her handling

of the Grenfell Tower tragedy.

Yo, Theresa May, where's

the money for Grenfell?

What, you thought we just

forgot about Grenfell?

You criminals.

And you got the cheek

to call us savages...

Comedian Geoff Norcott thinks times

like these call for a cool head.

But can anyone make

sense of this madness?

And Geoff Norcott is with us now.

Welcome to the programme. KFC runs

out of chicken, Trump wants to armed

teachers. We are going bonkers.

It

jumped the shark this week. And that

clip with Stormzy. There was a

headline that said Theresa May hits

back at Stormzy. For one second I

thought she had done it in the form

of rap. I could imagine her with

Michael Gove doing beatbox. It is a

symptom of the times we are living

in.

What a terrifying image!

Isn't

it slightly bonkers that she

responded to Stormzy?

All this week

things like that have been

happening, with Corbyn warning the

press he is not a rabid

revolutionary, he threatened to

control the free press. A great way

of coming back against your critics.

There were lots of things Corbyn

said in that video which were fair

but what was odd was the intensity

in his eyes. For a pacifist, he

looked like he wanted to punch

someone, ready to come out swinging.

Henry Bolton, the former Ukip, there

has to be a point, when you are

sitting on the sofa on TV and the

woman half your age is a racist, you

have to think I have not made prior

decisions. I was in the running to

be leader of the party and here I

am!

What is it that is making us

bonkers?

Elections, pressure. Buying

back from 2014, 15, these have been

unexpected results which puts the

pressure on politicians. There is no

comfort zone any more. Social media,

we could all be a hashtag by the

time we get back to the green room.

Or worse.

Or dressed as a chicken.

And pressure will dismiss stakes.

When people are under pressure, they

shoot from the hip.

Don't you think

it is just more exposed? We did not

know what was going on with

politicians 24-7 years ago.

You are

right about the elections but you

are really saying lack of

leadership. People are trying to

react to what others have ready

decided. You have seen that with

Trump, the response to the gum

thing, dependent on the gun lobby.

He does not have a view of his own.

It is not just the elections, but

the results. With Trump winning in

America, Mrs May failing to get a

decent majority, Macron coming from

nowhere to win in France, Mrs Merkel

struggling to put together a

coalition. All of the results have

really been a kick in the teeth.

Nobody can get their feet under the

table. When you think back to the

Blair eight years, how long has it

been since people could win an

election and be an MP for five years

and get on with the job? You have

five minutes before you are getting

hounded on Twitter constantly. There

is a general tribalism which is

distorting. I had a clip about

Corbyn go viral this week. On my

Facebook page, I had people

reviewing me off the back of it. 25

of the reviews were 5-star, and ten

of them were ones star, and nothing

in the middle. I have always thought

I was a solid 3.7. It is almost a

symptom of the age, that the

dialogue and political discourse is

dominated by the fringe ends.

Being

calm, reasonable, building

consensus, bringing people together

just doesn't cut it any more. It is

not fashionable in politics.

The

mainstream is discombobulated now.

It is. But as I say, there are not

people who know their own mind and

are prepared to tell us what they

think and where they want to take

us. They are just bobbing around on

a sea of public opinion which is

constantly changing and moving.

I

would suggest we will stay bonkers

for quite some time.

I would hope

so. For comedy, it is brilliant.

What are you up to?

I am on tour,

going round the country at the

moment. We have just extended into

the autumn. Although I voted

Conservative and I voted Leave, I

was in Leicester on Monday and there

were loads of Labour voters who came

and sat at the front.

The Leicester

comedy Festival.

Yes. All of the

Leavers sat at the back, for a sharp

exit! It is much better when you get

diversity in the audience. I am not

in this to create an echo chamber,

so I am glad. All lefties are

welcome. I don't mind anybody.

Does

the audience know that you are right

of centre?

I think they want to be

triggered, in a way. There was a

woman in Leicester who I kept

calling mad, and she said it was a

jest and class sensitive as well. I

had not heard class sensitive, so I

said, all right, treacle, I will

call you something else. But did not

go down well!

That's your lot for

tonight, but not for us.

We're off to Loulou's,

where it's Mad Max theme night.

Giving Michael yet another excuse

to dress up in his tight, studded,

ripped leather biker gear,

plus David Davis mask.

Leaving Liz free to mull on life

in a dystopian world of no hope,

no future, no purpose.

Come to think of it,

since the Brexit referendum

and Jezza's takeover of her party,

that's been pretty much what's

she been living through anyway.

So tonight will be just another

normal night for her.

But we leave you tonight

on a more serious note,

with the words of Andrew Pollock,

whose daughter, Meadow,

was shot dead in Florida last week

in yet another mass school shooting

of the sort which seems to have

become quotidian in the US

and to which American politicians

seem incapable of responding

with any action, just the ritual

thoughts and prayers for the victims

and their loved ones.

This is part of Mr Pollock's speech

at Donald Trump's "listening

session" last night.

We, as a country,

failed our children.

This shouldn't happen.

I'm very angry that this happened,

because it keeps happening.

9/11 happened once and

they fixed everything.

How many schools, how many

children have to get shot?

Because I want it to sink in,

not forget about this.

We can't forget about all

the school shootings.

It doesn't make sense.

Fix it.

It should have been one

school shooting and we

should have fixed it.

And I'm pissed.

Because my daughter I'm

not going to see again.

She's not here.

Never, ever will I see my kid.

I want that to sink in.

It's eternity.

My beautiful daughter,

I'm never going to see again...