01/03/2018 This Week


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01/03/2018

Andrew Neil presents a special This Week on location from a ballroom with special guest Molly the Dog. They are joined Michael Portillo, Liz Kendall and Miranda Green.


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LineFromTo

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and

girls, and anyone still up at this

0:00:130:00:16

ungodly hour, we are not live and

it's cheap as chips. With a

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washed-up cast of political has-been

is.

Do you know what we are doing?

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Have you been trained in this?

And a

line-up no one has heard of.

I am

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sorry, but who are you?

And an

audience who should know better.

Are

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we queueing for Graham Norton?

There

is only one reason to watch.

More

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blusher.

But where is Molly the dog?

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Molly is the story of a dog,

a presenter and a TV programme.

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It isn't a pretentious

picture or an epic.

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It is too real, to human for high

sounding adjectives.

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It is too real, too human for high

sounding adjectives.

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This Week was poor, so poor

it had to sell Molly.

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She was shipped hundreds of miles

away to the French Riviera.

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Yes, she lived a dog 's life.

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She enjoyed the sunshine,

french fries and champagne.

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But Molly never forgot

the presenter, her home,

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her people, for a sniff of fame.

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Finally, one day she ran away.

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She was going home.

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Nothing could stop her.

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Not President Macron.

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Nor Brexit.

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Molly's story is a magnificent one.

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You will love every bit of it.

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Molly, come home.

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Please welcome your host, Andrew

Neil.

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Evenin' all.

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Welcome to This Week,

a week when the Beast from the East

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blew unwelcomed into our country,

causing widespread disruption,

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confusion and chaos across the land.

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But enough about Boris Johnson.

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The weather has been

pretty grim too.

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Speaking of the Foreign Secretary,

his former Brexit best friend,

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Environment Secretary Michael Gove,

was back at his back-stabbing,

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duplicitous best this week.

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He announced he planned to ban

plastic straws, thereby leaving

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Prime Minister Maybot

with absolutely nothing

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to clutch at whatsoever.

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We know a leadership bid

when we see one, Govey.

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Over in the colonies,

President Trump, attacking armed

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police for failing to tackle

the Florida school shooter,

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said he would have taken him

on with his bare hands.

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Those of you who've seen the size

of his hands will realise

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the shooter is unlikely

to have been deterred.

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But nothing deters The Donald.

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He's announced he'll run again

in 2020, after a Mr V Putin c/o

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the Kremlin signed his nomination

papers and said he'd agreed

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to be his campaign manager...again.

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Back in shivering Blighty,

Dear Jezza's Labour Party showed

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just how all-inclusive and diverse

it is when Deputy Leader Tom Watson

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refused to hand back

the half-million quid in donations

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handed to him by a former fascist

by the name of Mosley.

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And Shadow Equalities Secretary Dawn

Butler appointed an advisor who says

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all white people are racist and that

even white people who're homeless

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are still privileged.

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Yes, with that sort of advice,

I think we're all going

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to get along just fine.

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But the real news of the week

is that, despite every impediment

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a fierce and unforgiving mother

nature could put in your way,

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you have all made it tonight

to the beautiful Rivoli Ballroom

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here in south London.

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What in Paris would be

called the Rive Gauche.

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Or in our case just gauche.

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What Donald Trump, when he learned

the US embassy had moved south

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of the river, called No Man's Land.

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Well, there are plenty of men

and women here tonight.

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We're delighted.

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Give yourselves a round of applause.

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Fantastic!

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In recognition of this historic

occasion, our 15th anniversary,

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we've put together a trio of talent

unrivalled in the annals

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of late-night TV.

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You'll soon see that they really

do have no rivals.

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Please welcome, fresh

from their sell-out performance

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at the Golders Green Branch

of Hezbollah, Michael #choochoo

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Portillo, Liz #fourpercent Kendall

and Miranda #she'slovely Green.

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And by special permission

of the Cannes Film Festival,

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all the way from the Cote D'Azur,

the star of our show, Molly the Dog.

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Come on, Molly. Molly, Molly. Molly,

Molly, Molly.

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Molly, Molly. Sit, Molly. What a

star! I hate being upstaged.

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And if all of that wasn't

enough, we have a band!

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The incredible Swing ZaZou.

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Take it away.

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# She's got work and money

# She's got the job and money

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# She's got fears and money

# Because she's one of the many

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# She's got coffee and credit

# She's got debt to pay

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# But she's got money in your pocket

at the end of the day

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# She's got money, cabbage, cash

# She's got scratch, rhino, Jack,

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Kayal

# She's got spinach, sugar, blues

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and twos.

# She's got berries, Kush, gravy,

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gold

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We will hear more from them as the

programme goes on. Your moment of

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the week.

The intervention of Sir

John Major during the course of this

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week. My old mate, who called on the

government to give a free vote to

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members of Parliament on Brexit. You

may remember that when the boot was

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on the other foot and that we were

busy integrating ourselves with

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Europe, there were no free votes

whatsoever. Indeed, there was

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persecution and ostracisation and

banning and suspension from the

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party. I thought it was marvellous

to see Sir Bill Cash this week on

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Newsnight saving with great

magnanimity, recalling that Sir John

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had put him through all of this, but

not in any way being bitter. He is a

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great parliamentarian, Sir Bill

Cash.

Weren't you one of Mr Major's

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bustards?

There was some dispute

about that.

Not in my mind!

He

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talked about three. There were four

candidates, Redwood, Lily, Portillo

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and Howard. So it's not entirely

clear which of these four was left

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out.

Well, I'm pretty sure it wasn't

you, but anyway!

I hope it wasn't I

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that was left out, because it is a

badge of honour.

Liz, your moment of

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the week?

The terrible explosion in

Leicester, my constituency.

Terrible

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event.

Unimaginable horror. The

people killed, more injured, people

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evacuated from their homes. We

always praise the emergency

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services, but I cannot believe what

they have seen and been through. And

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also, the local community, who came

out, helped one another, helped the

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emergency services, sometimes

despite what you think, most people

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want to do good and pull together

and support one another. And I am

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very proud of my constituents this

week.

Annual constituency will be

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very proud of you and how you have

handled it. Miranda, your moment?

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Well, I think it has to be Boris.

Boris who?

Boris Johnson, our

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fabulous Foreign Secretary, of whom

we are all so proud, particularly

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Michael, who suggested that solving

the knotty problem of the Northern

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Ireland border as we leave the EU

would be as simple as using your

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smart card to travel from the London

Borough of Camden to the London

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Borough of Islington, thereby

raising quite a few eyebrows.

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Obviously with Boris, we are not

surprised when he says something

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like this, but it was possibly a new

low.

I may have missed it, but have

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3000 people being killed fighting

over the Islington- can do in

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border?

I have also missed that,

Andrew.

Three moments of the week.

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Now, here on This Week we pretty

much say what we like.

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Not that anybody takes much notice.

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Which, given the level of drivel

that's spewed forth every week,

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is probably just as well.

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But these days some folks

are frightened to say anything.

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They worry that they'll

use the wrong words,

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offend people they

didn't mean to offend.

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Set off a Twitter mob,

or worse, against them.

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In a world where so-called safe

spaces are spreading,

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virtue-signalling is rife

and there's an epidemic of #metoos,

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when even Jerry Seinfeld has

stopped doing his stand up

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routine at universities

because the students are too

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politically correct,

are we now in the grip

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of a new Puritanism?

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In these difficult times we turned

for guidance to someone

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who is the epitome of balance,

moderation, consideration,

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courtesy, civility and charm.

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Yes, it's historian David Starkey

with his take of the week.

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The British political system

of monarch, Lords and Commons is now

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almost 800 years old.

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It has survived because behind

the fixed facade of Parliament,

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it's proved astonishingly adaptable

to changing social realities.

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In continental Europe,

the ancien regime had to be

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pulled down by revolution.

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In Britain, change came

by evolution, as first

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the bourgeoisie, then the working

class, and finally women

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secured a vote for and

representation in Parliament.

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Our parliamentary institution

even survived the rise

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of the Labour Party,

as the monarchy under George V

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and the Tory party under

Stanley Baldwin went out

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of their way to welcome Labour

ministers and trade unionists alike

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into the corridors of power,

and Buckingham Palace itself.

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This is the world

portrayed brilliantly

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in the film Darkest Hour.

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But everything in that world,

the patriotism, the shared values,

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the importance of rhetoric,

is now as dead and buried

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as Winston Churchill himself.

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For, in the last 20 years,

we've had a revolution by stealth.

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Not in our streets but in our

values, as a generation brought up

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with no roots and no religion has

lurched with quasi-religious fervour

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into a puritanical groupthink,

where debate is stifled

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and difference of opinion

cannot be tolerated.

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Everywhere, it's back

to the Middle Ages.

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In the universities,

no platforming is a heresy

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trial without a stake.

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In law, the uncovering of historic

sex abuse has turned from due

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process into a witch craze.

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Accusation proves guilt,

every victim must be believed.

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This is Salem.

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In politics, too, there

is a new pseudo-religious intensity.

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Pro-Trump and anti-Trump,

Remainer and Brexiteer confront each

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other in a sort of holy war.

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While in the Labour Party,

Jeremy Corbyn, JC, plays

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the Messiah, and Momentum presents

itself as a cross between

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the Jesuits and the Knights Templar.

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This does not bode well.

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The last time that religion

so dominated politics

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was in the Puritan revolution

which led to civil war,

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the abolition of Parliament

and military dictatorship.

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Welcome to the millennials'

millennium.

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Our thanks to Westland

London in Shoreditch,

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APPLAUSE

Welcome David Starkey back to the

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programme. Are we in the group of a

puritancle group think which doesn't

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tolerate difference or is that just

the Shadow Cabinet?

I think there is

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now a kind of moral or religious

fever about a lot of the different

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positions, particularly around

Brexit. In the end, I don't think

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that you win arguments by just

shouting louder and louder. You have

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to try to understand. You are never

going to - I'm never going to

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convince Nigel Farage that Brexit is

wrong. But the reason that you

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engage in debates is to try and

persuade the undecides to understand

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where people are coming from rather

than just shouting people down or no

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platforming them.

Michael?

I thought

David was probably exaggerating. The

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divisions over Brexit can be

compared with the divisions over

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appeasement and the divisions over

the reform of the House of Lords

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just before the First World War or

indeed the divisions over Ireland

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just before the First World War. I

think we've been here again and

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again. I think there are dangers. He

takes an interesting idea that blows

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it up. Of the things he mentioned

what bothered me the most is the

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idea that if you accuse someone,

their name can be plastered over the

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newspapers. They can be arrested.

They can be put on bail for a very

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long period of time. It takes very

long time toll resolve the case. It

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is as though that person had been

found guilty because in the year or

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two that that takes, their name has

been all over the press and the

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media.

The first bit of the new

puritanism. We come to sex abuse

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allegations later. Michael said you

are exaggerating. We have had this

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discourse before?

He is right in one

sense. In all the instances he

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mentioned. What I think is new now

is the depth of this phenomenon. In

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other words, appeasement, the Irish

question and so on. They weren't

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underpinned by new structures. We've

now got new structures in the

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internet. Which prioritise extremes.

The fact that you've got opinion

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expressed anonymously. This is the

most dangerous of things. The whole

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internet seems to me to be founded

on a complete misapprehension of

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human behaviour. It's founded on the

notion, human beings are good. Where

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if we were allowed to behave badly

and get away with it, you and I know

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we do. We do.

Hold on!

It's true.

Come on!

There are people watching.

0:18:230:18:32

I hope one or two. I hope one or

two. I don't know.

There won't be

0:18:320:18:36

unless you get to the point.

I have

got to the point. Where Michael -

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Anonymity.

Where Michael is wrong is

there are new structures

0:18:420:18:47

underpinning this. This seems to me

to be profoundly important. I think

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it's under cutting politics as we

know it. This programme is nice and

0:18:520:18:57

civilised people watch it. It's

absolutely nothing to do with the

0:18:570:19:01

fundamentals of what are going on

onside. Liz has made the point, when

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she said, "we want reasoned debate."

There is no reasoned debate.

0:19:050:19:09

Reasoned debate has died in public.

Let me bring Miranda. What did you

0:19:090:19:14

make of what Michael had to say

about the sex abuse and the sex

0:19:140:19:18

harassment claims that is in a way

what Michael was saying has gone too

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far?

I think it's always difficult

to know which is the movement and

0:19:230:19:27

which is the backlash. You get a

backlash against the backlash. We

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are having a huge cultural

discussion taking sides, some people

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changing their minds. I don't know

where we will end up. I think it

0:19:350:19:38

will be a different place from

before the Weinstein scandal.

0:19:380:19:44

Probably a better place.

That is to

be applauded.

No, revolutions on the

0:19:440:19:49

whole lead to worse. The history -

Not a revolution.

Oh, it is. You are

0:19:490:19:54

wrong. It's a moral revolution.

No.

Where I would agree with you, David,

0:19:540:19:59

I do think that there is a sort of

obligation on people at the moment

0:19:590:20:04

to kind of express moral certainty.

That is exactly right.

About an

0:20:040:20:09

issue Raith rather than debate it.

That is damaging to the quality -

0:20:090:20:14

Discourse.

There has been a moral

revolution. I'm gay is now

0:20:140:20:21

practically compulsory. 40 years

ago, seriously, let's look -

Is that

0:20:210:20:26

the secret about me you are trying

to tell the audience?

0:20:260:20:34

to tell the audience?

The I wonder!

You blush.

This civilised discussion

0:20:340:20:39

is going well.

Molly the dog as

well.

You keep Molly out of it.

0:20:390:20:43

There has been a complete revolution

of values between the sexes. I mean,

0:20:430:20:48

look again at the whole business of

transgendering. Am the unmentionable

0:20:480:20:54

has become enforceable. There has

been genuine inversions of moral -

0:20:540:21:00

in our lifetimes, your lifetime and

mine, because we are ancient, moral

0:21:000:21:05

values use have inverted?

I think

it's true moral values have been

0:21:050:21:11

inverted. I don't think the process

has come to an end.

What is a moral

0:21:110:21:18

value that has been inverted?

Our

view of homosexuality has changed

0:21:180:21:23

completely.

Isn't that a plus?

I

think it is a plus, but I would also

0:21:230:21:28

say that I think it leads us to...

It should lead us to believe that no

0:21:280:21:33

moral position is absolute or even

to be relied upon for any period of

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time. Moral positions are changing

now a days like fashions. Constantly

0:21:380:21:43

changing.

0:21:430:21:48

changing. Max Moseley apparently was

the agent for a leaflet published in

0:21:510:21:54

1961. In 1961, the racism that was

addressed in the leaflet was not

0:21:540:22:01

illegal, but homosexuality was. That

is an example in how 50 years the

0:22:010:22:10

world has turned absolutely upside

down.

I am struggling to see the bad

0:22:100:22:14

news that racism is not acceptable

and the homosexuality is acceptable.

0:22:140:22:19

There has been a revolution.

It's

been a hugely welcome one. I would

0:22:190:22:23

really like to have grown up not

being groped when I was a waitress

0:22:230:22:27

and being told by the boss, "just

get back out there and serve them.

0:22:270:22:32

You are fussing about nothing". I

think it's good if we get to the

0:22:320:22:35

situation where that's not happening

any more.

Those things are good. I

0:22:350:22:39

think the suspension of due process

in law is not good and even

0:22:390:22:43

organisations like the BBC are

complicit in the suspension of due

0:22:430:22:47

process by having helicopters

hovering over Cliff Richard's house

0:22:470:22:51

when he is being raided and

arrested. There are things in this

0:22:510:22:54

which are very, very worrying and

the non-platforming of people in

0:22:540:22:59

universities is extremely worrying.

I agree with that.

I don't think

0:22:590:23:03

David meant to say that everything

in this revolution is bad.

I didn't.

0:23:030:23:07

I just said it was a revolution.

Revolution just means turning things

0:23:070:23:11

upside down.

Correct.

Things have

been turned upside down.

On the

0:23:110:23:17

attitudes towards sexual harassment

and worse, that may not be a

0:23:170:23:20

revolution, but it is a watershed in

attitudes. Perhaps, as in all of

0:23:200:23:25

these things, I mean to put it blunt

ily, for years men got away with

0:23:250:23:30

this.

Yes they did.

Now they don't.

Called to account. In that change

0:23:300:23:36

the pendulum in all these things it

sometimes goes too far the other

0:23:360:23:39

way. I've talked about the lack of

due process. At some stage it will

0:23:390:23:43

settle down somewhere and it will be

a Bert place.

I think that's true.

0:23:430:23:47

Part of what David is warning about,

if I understand him correctly, is

0:23:470:23:54

against a change that would resemble

something that that they have in

0:23:540:23:59

America, were you end up dividing

peopled and you end up with culture

0:23:590:24:04

wars.

We have.

I don't think we have

it quite yet. Like Michael, I think

0:24:040:24:10

it's slightly over stated case. I

think we can move on on this issue

0:24:100:24:15

and others and avoid America's

culture wars. If you are too certain

0:24:150:24:20

that things changing... The fact

that things are changing is bad you

0:24:200:24:23

are actually taking a position in a

culture war. You are sort of

0:24:230:24:31

starting one of your own.

Some

American identity wars have come

0:24:310:24:34

here. Is it really true, a lot of

students now, this will give you the

0:24:340:24:39

fine Allera word on, this they don't

want to be exposed to opinions that

0:24:390:24:42

trouble them or with which they

don't agree?

Yes. I think it is

0:24:420:24:46

absolutely true. We are also getting

a determination to rewrite the

0:24:460:24:51

historical past. We are getting a

shyness about any form of genuine

0:24:510:24:56

national identity. One of the things

that I worry about most is, without

0:24:560:25:00

a clear notion of a national

identity and a national story,

0:25:000:25:06

there's no possibilities of genuine

democratic political action.

0:25:060:25:10

Political action depends on the fact

we all recognise certain things in

0:25:100:25:14

common with each other. If we're to

be divided into tribes, if we are to

0:25:140:25:20

be divided into genders, if we are

to be divided into races I'm afraid

0:25:200:25:24

there is only one form of government

that can hold the balance and it is

0:25:240:25:30

in a throne like you who exercises

imperial authority. Which you do so

0:25:300:25:36

well!

APPLAUSE

0:25:360:25:42

Thank you.

Pleasure. Thank you.

0:25:430:25:48

Now it's late.

0:25:480:25:49

Saint Michael of Assisi late.

0:25:490:25:50

Yes, as we mentioned

earlier, our greener then

0:25:500:25:54

the Greens Environment Secretary,

the Sainted Govester,

0:25:540:25:57

wants to ban plastic straws

to reduce pollution in our oceans.

0:25:570:26:00

He's even opined that said

ban would prove easier

0:26:000:26:05

once we leave the EU,

provoking the Vice President

0:26:050:26:09

of the European Commission to snap

back that "EU legislation

0:26:090:26:14

"on single-use plastics

is coming before the summer.

0:26:140:26:16

"#eudoesn'tsuck, ya green numpty".

0:26:160:26:19

And we thought the Irish Border

might be the final

0:26:190:26:27

straw in the Brexit

negotiations, when it actually

0:26:270:26:29

turns out to be a straw.

0:26:290:26:30

Someone who's never been accused

of being a straw man

0:26:300:26:33

is the mighty Brian Blessed,

star of stage, screen and shouting,

0:26:330:26:35

who'll be putting "charm"

under the spotlight.

0:26:350:26:37

Bless.

0:26:370:26:40

And if you'd like to get

in touch via the Tweeter,

0:26:400:26:43

the Fleecebook, the Snapnumpty,

my blunt advice is don't bother.

0:26:430:26:49

You'd be better spending your lonely

nocturnal hours preparing for that

0:26:490:26:52

visit from your probation officer

in the morning because I can

0:26:520:26:55

assure you that parole

is by no means a done deal.

0:26:550:27:00

Take it away, Swing Zazou.

0:27:000:27:07

INSTRUMENTAL

# But he takes it slow

0:27:300:27:34

# He's got no need for them highs

and lows

0:27:340:27:40

# He's a happy cat

# Head held high

0:27:400:27:47

# Ain't no people going to catch his

eye

0:27:470:27:52

# Ain't no jitterbug going to get

him high

0:27:520:27:57

# Ain't no flat boot going to make

him spill

0:27:570:28:01

# Ain't no dropper going to make

that kill

0:28:010:28:06

# Me's a wide boy

# Would he do what he wouldn't say

0:28:060:28:14

# He's a wide boy

# Lapped it up and run away

0:28:140:28:18

# He's a wild, wild boy

# He's wide, wide boy

0:28:180:28:26

# He's a wide, wide boy

# He's a wide, wide boy... #

0:28:260:28:39

APPLAUSE

0:28:390:28:44

And there's more where that came

from.

0:28:460:28:49

The Siberian snowstorm currently

enveloping our islands has brought

0:28:490:28:51

with it a distinct chilling

of our politics.

0:28:510:28:53

The Tory rebels are more

revolting than ever,

0:28:530:28:55

Labour moderates are checking

into the gulag before they find

0:28:550:28:58

themselves hanging from the nearest

lamp post, and Barnier of Brussels

0:28:580:29:01

thinks if he huffs and puffs often

enough then he can blow us all down.

0:29:010:29:06

Which, when you look

at the fragility of the government,

0:29:060:29:08

might not be that far fetched.

0:29:080:29:10

So in these bitter and bitterly cold

times we turned to Andrew Rawnsley,

0:29:100:29:14

the Hack Who Went out into the Cold.

0:29:140:29:18

This is his roundup of the week.

0:29:180:29:25

It is very cold in Moscow, it is

even colder in Mrs May's Cabinet.

0:29:280:29:36

Ah, there you are.

0:29:440:29:46

Our friends over the river have

given me the most difficult mission

0:29:460:29:50

of my career in political

intelligence - to penetrate

0:29:500:29:54

the British Government and discover

the Prime Minister's greatest

0:29:540:29:56

secret.

0:29:560:30:01

What does she really hope

to achieve from Brexit?

0:30:010:30:07

This is from one of my moles

at the heart of the Cabinet.

0:30:070:30:11

The cunning plan is "ambitious

managed divergence."

0:30:110:30:16

It must be some kind

of fiendish code designed to be

0:30:160:30:20

impenetrable to Brussels,

and to the British public.

0:30:200:30:23

I'm not sure even the wizards

at GCHQ will be able

0:30:230:30:26

to make sense of this one.

0:30:260:30:29

Jeremy Corbyn, the rebel

who came in from the cold,

0:30:340:30:36

hopes to exploit Tory divisions

by switching Labour's position

0:30:360:30:40

on membership of a customs union.

0:30:400:30:48

Labour would seek to negotiate

a new, comprehensive UK-EU customs

0:30:490:30:53

union to ensure there are no tariffs

with Europe and to help avoid any

0:30:530:30:57

need whatsoever for a hard border

in Northern Ireland.

0:30:570:31:04

Does this mean that the Labour

leader, a career long

0:31:040:31:06

eurosceptic, has been turned?

0:31:060:31:14

Nyet comrade, he sees a juicy

opportunity to defeat

0:31:170:31:19

and damage the government.

0:31:190:31:20

Five Conservative former ministers

and two of the party's

0:31:200:31:22

Select Committee Chairs have already

declared that they'll defect

0:31:220:31:25

to the opposition lobby over

the issue of a customs union.

0:31:250:31:31

These Tory dissidents say they'll be

doing Mrs M a favour,

0:31:310:31:34

by helping her to stand up

to the Brexit ultras.

0:31:340:31:39

She'll then be able to turn around

to the 62 who are sort

0:31:390:31:42

of threatening to sort

of force her into

0:31:420:31:45

a leadership contest.

0:31:450:31:47

It would enable her to

explain the reality.

0:31:470:31:49

The simple reality is this,

that there isn't a parliamentary

0:31:490:31:51

majority for a hard Brexit.

0:31:510:31:55

Given a free vote, what would be

the majority for a customs

0:31:550:31:57

union, do you think?

0:31:570:31:59

Huge.

0:31:590:32:01

She's right to suggest that quite

a lot of ministers will be secretly

0:32:010:32:04

toasting the Tory rebels,

and quite possibly some

0:32:040:32:09

Whitehall mandarins too.

0:32:090:32:11

Sir Martin Donnelly, who used to be

head of the Department

0:32:110:32:15

of International Trade,

suggested that life outside

0:32:150:32:17

the single market and the customs

union will be all salt and vinegar.

0:32:170:32:24

You're giving up a three course

meal, which is the depth

0:32:250:32:28

and intensity of our trade

relationships across

0:32:280:32:31

the European Union and partners now,

for the promise of a packet

0:32:310:32:34

of crisps in the future

if we manage to do trade deals

0:32:340:32:38

outside the European Union,

which aren't going to compensate

0:32:380:32:42

for what we're giving up.

0:32:420:32:46

Staying within a customs union

would mean they'd be no

0:32:460:32:48

further point to Liam Fox,

no more long-haul globetrotting

0:32:480:32:51

to exotic locations in search

of independent trade deals

0:32:510:32:58

for our man in Business Class.

0:32:580:33:01

Funnily enough, he's

not keen on that idea.

0:33:010:33:05

It's unsurprising that those

who spent a lifetime working

0:33:050:33:08

within the European Union would see

moving away from the European Union

0:33:080:33:11

as being threatening.

0:33:110:33:16

As rule takers, without any say

in how the rules were made,

0:33:160:33:19

we would be in a worse position

than we are today.

0:33:190:33:21

It would be a complete sell-out

of Britain's national interests

0:33:210:33:26

and a betrayal of the voters

in the referendum.

0:33:260:33:32

Now, if you were looking for signs

that foreign powers had placed

0:33:320:33:35

sleeper agents at the heart

of our government, with a design

0:33:350:33:38

to disrupt the economy,

undermine our alliances and make

0:33:380:33:42

Britain look like a laughing stock

in the world, who might

0:33:420:33:47

fall under suspicion?

0:33:470:33:53

The issue of the Northern Ireland

border is being used quite a lot

0:33:530:33:57

politically to try to keep the UK

in the customs union,

0:33:570:34:02

effectively the single market,

so we can't really leave the EU.

0:34:020:34:04

That's what's going on.

0:34:040:34:06

Boris, a bit un-British

that name, not very red,

0:34:060:34:09

white and blue at all,

a bit Ruski.

0:34:090:34:13

We certainly have to ask which side

is this confusion agent playing for?

0:34:130:34:18

Mrs May's insistence that there'll

be no hard border in Ireland

0:34:180:34:22

was undercut by a leaked letter

from the alleged Foreign Secretary,

0:34:220:34:26

arguing the opposite.

0:34:260:34:34

Jeremy Corbyn used to be mostly

cloak and not much dagger at PMQs,

0:34:360:34:41

he's improved his trade craft lately

and attempted some

0:34:410:34:43

intelligence collection.

0:34:430:34:48

The Prime Minister emerged

from her Chequers away

0:34:480:34:50

day to promise a Brexit

of "ambitious managed divergence."

0:34:500:34:55

Can the Prime Minister enlighten

the rest of us as to which sectors

0:34:550:35:01

of the Government wants to remain

aligned and which

0:35:010:35:05

they plan to diverge?

0:35:050:35:07

He talks about people

not having a clue.

0:35:070:35:09

I'll tell him who hasn't got a clue

about business and jobs,

0:35:090:35:12

that's a Labour Party who wants

to borrow £500 billion

0:35:120:35:14

and bankrupt Britain.

0:35:140:35:18

When sorrows come for a leader,

they come not single

0:35:180:35:20

spies, but in battalions.

0:35:200:35:22

The former Conservative Prime

Minister John Major was reactivated

0:35:220:35:24

to issue a barrage of bleak

and blunt warnings and to call

0:35:240:35:29

for MPs to have a free vote

on the ultimate Brexit deal.

0:35:290:35:35

No one voted for higher prices

and poorer public services,

0:35:350:35:38

but that's what they may get.

0:35:380:35:42

The emerging evidence suggests

Brexit will hurt most

0:35:420:35:44

those who have least.

0:35:440:35:47

If Brexit is whipped

through parliament, at a time

0:35:470:35:50

when the public are so divided

about it, voters will know

0:35:500:35:53

who to blame if they end

up poorer and weaker.

0:35:530:35:58

So both democracy and prudence

suggest a free vote.

0:35:580:36:03

This operation is all a bit sideways

at the moment, isn't it?

0:36:030:36:07

Mrs May is scheduled

to give a definitive speech

0:36:070:36:14

on Brexit on Friday,

the latest in a long line

0:36:140:36:16

of supposedly definitive speeches.

0:36:160:36:19

Have the codebreakers on stand by.

0:36:190:36:27

APPLAUSE

0:36:330:36:41

Andrew Rawnsley joins us.

As we were coming on air, we learned

0:36:410:36:45

they are still arguing about the

contents of the parts of Mrs May A's

0:36:450:36:50

speech, so I'm glad that has been

resolved.

There is loads of time! It

0:36:500:36:55

is not like it has to be resolved by

October and yet the government is

0:36:550:36:59

still go shaking with itself.

Michael, do you think Mr Corbyn has

0:36:590:37:05

come out for a customs union because

he believes in it, or because it's a

0:37:050:37:09

clever way of putting the government

on the spot?

The latter. I don't

0:37:090:37:14

have a great insight into his views

but I assume he is pretty thoroughly

0:37:140:37:20

Euro-sceptic, about as Euro-sceptic

as I am, and I think he would value

0:37:200:37:24

the opportunity of making trade

deals outside the European Union,

0:37:240:37:27

which would not be consistent with

the customs union. But it does put

0:37:270:37:32

the government on the spot. The

arithmetic on bad vote looks very

0:37:320:37:36

tight. I suspect the government will

win the vote, because I think as MPs

0:37:360:37:40

reacted to the emerging arithmetic

there will be a couple of Labour

0:37:400:37:43

rebels who will come over and vote

with the government. But as we see

0:37:430:37:48

at the moment there is only a vote

or two in it.

What do you think? Is

0:37:480:37:54

it a principled position or a clever

tactical ploy?

He has probably

0:37:540:38:01

listened to trade unions, party

members, Labour supporters.

0:38:010:38:05

Obviously, it does put the

government under pressure, but I

0:38:050:38:10

think it is a hugely welcome change

in Labour's approach. It comes very

0:38:100:38:15

close to solving the Northern

Ireland issue and is obviously right

0:38:150:38:19

in terms of jobs and the economy and

money for public services. People

0:38:190:38:24

have been making a strong argument

that you cannot be anti-austerity if

0:38:240:38:28

you are going to come out of the

single market and Customs union,

0:38:280:38:32

your economy takes a hit and you

cannot invest in the NHS. I think it

0:38:320:38:37

is growing number of reasons but it

does put the government under

0:38:370:38:40

pressure.

Is at the right policy?

Would the EU agreed to a bespoke

0:38:400:38:46

customs union for the UK?

It seems

there are almost as many but not

0:38:460:38:51

quite as many problems with the

Labour position in terms of whether

0:38:510:38:55

it is realistic in terms of striking

a deal with Brussels, as there are

0:38:550:38:59

with the government position. Both

sides have been playing this game of

0:38:590:39:03

playing voters against each other

with a lot of constructive

0:39:030:39:05

ambiguity. Clearly this was a huge

move from Jeremy Corbyn and that

0:39:050:39:11

action inside the Labour Party,

frantic lobbying on both sides,

0:39:110:39:16

particularly from the pro-EU faction

in the Labour Party, has resulted in

0:39:160:39:21

this quite significant change. But

the question about whether he is

0:39:210:39:26

sincere, Andrew's spying metaphor,

has he been turned, of course not.

0:39:260:39:30

When it comes to the crunch, will it

make enough difference in terms of

0:39:300:39:34

the deal that Britain can get? I

have my doubts. Particularly because

0:39:340:39:40

he seems to believe the caveats more

than the offer. On the customs

0:39:400:39:44

union, he is desperate to talk

about, but we don't like European

0:39:440:39:48

rules state aid. That will not

change.

He comes out of a customs

0:39:480:39:53

union but once the freedom to do

state subsidies.

Very important to

0:39:530:39:57

him and John McDonnell.

Nothing

wrong with that but it is the sort

0:39:570:40:01

of thing the European Union does not

like. He talks about having a say in

0:40:010:40:08

EU free trade arrangements. That is

difficult, since even individual

0:40:080:40:11

countries do not have much of a say

within the EU. I come back to my

0:40:110:40:17

original question. Is it really a

clever tactical ploy, because he has

0:40:170:40:21

seen that the government is weak?

I

think we all agree that he has been

0:40:210:40:27

a career long Euro-sceptic, founded

in the old left-wing belief that the

0:40:270:40:31

EU is a capitalist club, compounded

by him and McDonnell thinking there

0:40:310:40:35

are things radical Labour government

would want which they might be

0:40:350:40:38

prevented from doing by Europe. So

they are thinking this is a juicy

0:40:380:40:43

opportunity to potentially defeat

and damage the government. I think

0:40:430:40:46

Liz makes a good point. Jeremy

Corbyn distrusts opinion polls and

0:40:460:40:52

distrusts most of his parliamentary

party, if we are honest. But he will

0:40:520:40:56

have noticed that the polls say by

big margins most Labour supporters

0:40:560:41:01

want to remain not only in the

customs union but also the single

0:41:010:41:04

market and so do most MPs. One thing

where there is a dislocation between

0:41:040:41:11

Mr Corbyn and his devotees among

Labour Party members, particularly

0:41:110:41:14

the young ones, the Glastonbury

crowd, they do not want to do Brexit

0:41:140:41:19

at all and would certainly want a

softer version of Brexit. He cannot

0:41:190:41:23

allow to big a chasm to open between

him and his members.

If the

0:41:230:41:28

government loses a vote on the

customs union, what would happen to

0:41:280:41:33

the government?

It would be a very

important defeat and the government

0:41:330:41:37

would probably go back to the House

of Commons the next day with a vote

0:41:370:41:40

of confidence, which it would win,

because the rebels, I assume, would

0:41:400:41:47

not want to bring down the

government. So as long as the

0:41:470:41:50

government does not make the vote a

vote of confidence, it will win a

0:41:500:41:53

vote of confidence the following

day.

Which they cannot anyway. When

0:41:530:41:58

your time with John Major, he had a

problem with the paving bill and the

0:41:580:42:02

Maastricht Treaty and had to turn it

into a confidence motion to get it

0:42:020:42:09

through. But the Fixed-term

Parliaments Act separates confidence

0:42:090:42:10

from bits of legislation. One thing

Mrs May could do if she loses on the

0:42:100:42:15

customs union is say, I am listening

to Parliament and they say they want

0:42:150:42:19

it as a negotiating objective, so I

am sorry, Jacob Rees-Mogg, the

0:42:190:42:23

majority of parliament has spoken

and I will embrace that.

The Prime

0:42:230:42:28

Minister would be holed below the

water line on that, surely, because

0:42:280:42:31

she has said she is against the

customs union, against Britain being

0:42:310:42:35

part of it. To say, I lost the vote

so this key part of my strategy I'm

0:42:350:42:39

going to abandon...

She has set the

red lines which may bring her down,

0:42:390:42:46

and she did not have too. There is a

majority in parliament, I believe,

0:42:460:42:51

for leaving the EU but along a

Norway- style deal, which has high

0:42:510:42:56

market access and high obligations.

Norway is not in the customs union.

0:42:560:43:01

But if there were a Norway plus with

the customs union option...

If you

0:43:010:43:07

are in the single market and the

customs union, you are in the

0:43:070:43:11

European Union. What bit are you not

in?

There is a choice.

The country

0:43:110:43:17

took that choice, rightly or

wrongly.

We can go round and round

0:43:170:43:21

with this. The type of Brexit was

not on there. There is a way through

0:43:210:43:25

for her which is to accept where the

majority of the house would be and

0:43:250:43:29

that would keep as much closer to

Europe, but I don't think she will

0:43:290:43:33

have the guts to take on the

hardliners on her backbenchers.

OK,

0:43:330:43:37

she loses a vote along the way but

eventually there will be a

0:43:370:43:41

settlement with the European Union

and that will be brought back to

0:43:410:43:44

Parliament, and that would override

whatever votes have occurred before

0:43:440:43:47

that.

0:43:470:43:52

Has Michel Barnier leading the

negotiations on the Commission's

0:43:520:43:55

behalf, coming out this week with

the document which the Brexiteers

0:43:550:44:00

claim is an attempt to annex

Northern Ireland from the United

0:44:000:44:03

Kingdom. Has he overplayed his hand?

There were a few statements coming

0:44:030:44:08

out of Brussels today which made it

seem that they had realised they'd

0:44:080:44:13

trod on some sensitive toes here in

the UK with this document. On the

0:44:130:44:17

Northern Ireland issue.

Very

diplomatic

Prance I should retrain.

0:44:170:44:25

A government with an overall Tory

majority could never agree to that.

0:44:250:44:30

A government dependent on the DUP

could certainly never agree to that.

0:44:300:44:36

With he have a series of

unreasonable negotiation position.

0:44:360:44:44

The UK Governments unreasonable

negotiating position and Brussels,

0:44:440:44:47

let's hope they see sense. What they

row posed was moving a border into

0:44:470:44:52

the Irish Sea which is intolerable

in terms of the UK.

Because they are

0:44:520:44:57

so frustrated -

Michel Barnier you

mean.

So frustrated to try and get

0:44:570:45:01

clarity on what the British

Government's position is, that he's

0:45:010:45:05

done this, knowing that that

couldn't be allowed to happen, but

0:45:050:45:09

it sure grabs the British

Government's attention?

I think you

0:45:090:45:12

are on to something there, Andrew.

Ever since we triggered, or Mrs May

0:45:120:45:16

and her Government triggered Article

50, which is going back some way

0:45:160:45:20

now, the constant complaint you hear

publicly and you hear more in

0:45:200:45:27

private from European politicians

and officials is - just tell us what

0:45:270:45:30

you want? We can't negotiate with

you sensibly until you spell out

0:45:300:45:35

what you want. I do think it was...

Give you a prod, we might find out.

0:45:350:45:44

We might find out more from Mrs

May's speech tomorrow in Newcastle.

0:45:440:45:49

Briefly, I want to hear from all of

you. As things stand, there has to

0:45:490:45:54

be a deal done to get into the

transition period by October at the

0:45:540:45:57

latest.

Very latest.

What are the

chances, as things stand now, you

0:45:570:46:02

may not like the deal, it may be a

bad deal, a good one, will it be

0:46:020:46:06

done? What are the chances. Liz?

I

think it will be done because

0:46:060:46:12

Conservative MPs will look over the

precipice of no deal and think we've

0:46:120:46:16

got to keep things as we are to

protect the economy.

It would be

0:46:160:46:20

done but it's because the commune

will look over the prep sis and

0:46:200:46:24

think, it's got to be done.

Andrew.

They are both being rational. A deal

0:46:240:46:30

must be done it's not in the

interests of EU and Britain for this

0:46:300:46:34

to be a disaster. The rational's

person mistake to forget that

0:46:340:46:38

sometimes Mmm beings and politicians

can be very irrational. If you were

0:46:380:46:43

to chat characterise this process

would you say it's been rational or

0:46:430:46:46

a lot has been irrational? I hope

you are right.

0:46:460:46:49

. Don't wish a disaster on Britain.

We have to account for the fact that

0:46:490:46:54

human beings aren't always rational?

There is a group of nations, not

0:46:540:46:59

least Sweden, the Netherlands etc

who would like to not go down the

0:46:590:47:05

Franco-German route in terms of the

future Europe route. We are living

0:47:050:47:13

in strange times where hotheads

rule.

We have them on tape with

0:47:130:47:17

their predictions. In this programme

they are invariably wrong. I take it

0:47:170:47:22

from that no deal will be done if

they all think it will be. You can

0:47:220:47:28

hot foot it back to Moscow, Andrew

Rawnsley. Let us hear some more from

0:47:280:47:36

Swing Zazou.

0:47:360:47:38

# She arrives with a certain smile

# Turns her head and stops the

0:47:520:48:01

# Not one for laying low

# She spreads her wings right out

0:48:010:48:09

# Kiss my feet

# I'm on the way

0:48:090:48:13

# Let me go

# I wish that I could say a friend

0:48:130:48:21

in need, a friend indeed

# Oh, no

0:48:210:48:31

# It makes me

0:48:310:48:37

# It makes me low

# Oh, no

0:48:370:48:38

#.

APPLAUSE

0:48:380:48:42

Come here, Molly. Come here Molly.

Have a treat because you deserve it.

0:48:420:48:51

It was Albert Camus who said: "Charm

is a way of getting the answer 'yes'

0:48:510:48:54

"without having asked

any clear question".

0:48:540:48:56

At least I think

it was Albert Camus.

0:48:560:48:58

It could have been the pub

bore in Albert Square.

0:48:580:49:00

Anyway, though it's clear that charm

in politics isn't everything -

0:49:000:49:04

I mean just look at the careers

of Liz and Michael -

0:49:040:49:07

obviously it's better

to have it than not.

0:49:070:49:09

So we've called on our very

own Prince Charming,

0:49:090:49:14

the mighty Brian Blessed,

as we put charm in the spotlight.

0:49:140:49:22

It's snowing, and the

kids are enchanted.

0:49:300:49:36

Is winter's charm lost on adults?

0:49:360:49:43

It's the worst winter that we've

had for quite a while.

0:49:430:49:46

Absolute mayhem.

0:49:460:49:47

Hope it doesn't last too long.

0:49:470:49:48

And what about MPs?

0:49:480:49:49

As frost descends on Westminster,

Big Bad John's usual

0:49:490:49:52

charm has chilled.

0:49:520:49:57

THE SPEAKER:

0:49:570:49:58

Order, order.

0:49:580:49:59

Resume your seat, Minister.

0:49:590:50:00

End of it.

0:50:000:50:01

You answer for government policy.

0:50:010:50:02

You don't waste the time

of the House by launching into rants

0:50:020:50:05

about policies of other parties.

0:50:050:50:06

I've made the point,

and if the Chancellor

0:50:060:50:08

is confused about it,

he really is underinformed.

0:50:080:50:10

I say to him, stick

to your abacus, man.

0:50:100:50:12

REPORTER:

Prime Minister,

who is going to blink first?

0:50:120:50:15

Is snow making the Maybot's

manners malfunction, too.

0:50:150:50:17

Just calm down.

0:50:170:50:20

Maybe MPs are just more agreeable

outside Westminster.

0:50:200:50:25

Charm us, Rebecca.

0:50:250:50:28

The gentleman with the blue tie

and the lovely blue jumper there.

0:50:280:50:31

I love your blue sweater.

0:50:310:50:32

It's very nice.

0:50:320:50:35

Matching scarf on there.

0:50:350:50:36

Trendy beard there.

0:50:360:50:37

But can charm be creepy?

0:50:370:50:39

Spare a thought for New Zealand

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern.

0:50:390:50:44

Jacinda Ardern, what a great catch.

0:50:440:50:45

Perhaps we can go fishing sometime.

0:50:450:50:47

Yes.

0:50:470:50:48

What exactly is the date

the baby is due?

0:50:480:50:54

17th June.

0:50:540:50:55

It's interesting how much

people have been counting

0:50:550:50:58

back to the conception,

as it were.

0:50:580:50:59

Really?

0:50:590:51:00

And are some people

just totally charmless?

0:51:000:51:03

I got to watch some deputy sheriffs

performing this weekend.

0:51:030:51:10

They weren't exactly

medal of honour winners.

0:51:100:51:12

I really believe that I'd

run in there, even if I

0:51:120:51:15

didn't have a weapon.

0:51:150:51:16

This Week's alive!

0:51:160:51:17

Brian Blessed's the

consummate charmer.

0:51:170:51:19

So, Brian, is charm the secret

to political success?

0:51:190:51:27

APPLAUSE

0:51:320:51:37

Brian joins us now. Bless you for

joining us.

I've only one to say to

0:51:390:51:45

you - Gordon's Alive!

CHEERING

Congratulations on the show. Hello.

0:51:450:51:56

Two lovely ladies. Please speak.

Can

I go, ask a question.

You can speak

0:51:560:52:00

now.

Very well. You are a modest

chap, Brian.

I am.

Quiet,

0:52:000:52:06

unassuming. Barely say a word in a

room. Would you describe yourself as

0:52:060:52:10

charming?

I think I'm totally

charming. Absolutely. I'm the most

0:52:100:52:14

charming man in the world without

doubt. Now I, I will prove it. I

0:52:140:52:19

will use the audience here. When I

raise my hand in a while I want you

0:52:190:52:25

all to go gsh oh-oh. I will charm

Michael Portillo. He has a charming

0:52:250:52:31

face and a lovely smile. Here we go.

The train goes running along the

0:52:310:52:38

line. I wish it were mine. I wish it

were mine. The engine driver stands

0:52:380:52:43

in front. He makes it run. He makes

it shunt. Up to the towns. Over the

0:52:430:52:50

bridges and up to the sea.

0:52:500:53:01

bridges and up to the sea.

Oh-oh.

That is for you Michael.

Thank you

0:53:010:53:04

so much, Brian. Thank you.

APPLAUSE

0:53:040:53:07

Wonderful.

I look in the mirror in

the morning, ladies and gentlemen, I

0:53:070:53:12

think - bloody hell, I'm gorgeous.

We think the same.

I look down at my

0:53:120:53:22

fellow actors and they are down

there compared to my talent and

0:53:220:53:25

beauty I. I know I look like a Yeti

and a gorilla. You know that the

0:53:250:53:39

strength of mankind is its women. So

I'd like to say to our two young

0:53:390:53:43

ladies here. Shall I compare they...

What Michael and Liz? !

Shall I

0:53:430:53:55

compare thee to a lovely day. Thour

more lovely and more temperate. They

0:53:550:54:03

do shake the darling buds of May.

That's charming I think...

Ah!

0:54:030:54:12

APPLAUSE

I'd like to apologise to the

0:54:120:54:17

researchers for writing all these

questions because they are clearly

0:54:170:54:20

going to be a complete waste of

time.

0:54:200:54:26

time. Do you find any politicians

charming?

I find them all charming.

0:54:260:54:30

Find them all charming? That can't

be true?

No, no. I'm not a political

0:54:300:54:38

animal in any shape or form. What is

Brexit? It sounds like a bloody

0:54:380:54:43

chocolate biscuit. I want to say. In

protest from the people from New

0:54:430:54:48

Zealand. We went into Europe many

years ago and we abandoned New

0:54:480:54:53

Zealand. New Zealand butter, New

Zealand lamb when we come out again

0:54:530:54:59

they will be waiting for us, won't

they?

In revenge.

0:54:590:55:11

CHANTING

0:55:110:55:16

Struggling to get to grips with this

interview. Liz, is... Hold on, I'm

0:55:260:55:35

going to ask Liz. Is Mrs May

charming, is Mr Corbyn charming?

I

0:55:350:55:41

don't think Theresa May's very

charming. I don't feel that she has

0:55:410:55:47

much warmth.

You need warmth to be

charming, don't you?

You do. You

0:55:470:55:53

need some sort of connection.

What

about Mr Corbyn?

He can be very

0:55:530:55:58

charming.

Really? You can be very

diplomatic!

0:55:580:56:04

APPLAUSE

Michael. Mrs May or Mr Corbyn,

0:56:040:56:07

charming?

Michael Gove is an

extremely charming man, they are

0:56:070:56:14

both put in the shade.

Controversial.

You have been at the

0:56:140:56:19

Blue Nun again, haven't you?

Miranda, either of the two main

0:56:190:56:23

party leaders charming, do you

think? Does it matter?

Well, you

0:56:230:56:26

know there is a sort of puritancle

view that it ought not to matter and

0:56:260:56:33

politics shouldn't be about

charisma. Of course it is. People

0:56:330:56:35

like to feel a connection with

somebody who wants their support.

0:56:350:56:38

That is what politics is, right? I

mean it's more than a personality

0:56:380:56:43

contest.

You have to a bit of charm?

Have you to do a bit of charm,

0:56:430:56:48

particularly in the modern era.

People can tell when it's not

0:56:480:56:53

authentic.

People wouldn't get away

with being Clement Attlee now.

0:56:530:57:04

with being Clement Attlee now. If

somebody has something to offer they

0:57:040:57:08

won't get far.

Do you think Michael

was more charming as a politician or

0:57:080:57:12

more charming now?

I think he's got

the eternal flame. I fancy him like

0:57:120:57:21

mad! He's absolutely gorgious.

Gorgeous. I love his jackets. I'm

0:57:210:57:31

envious of Mrs May turns me on. I

hate her husband.

All right. You

0:57:310:57:36

have said enough.

I'm so sorry. .

Before we are taking off the air I

0:57:360:57:45

think there's a goodbye. Thank you

for that. I haven't talked about

0:57:450:57:49

gorillas.

You are not going to. You

might bring Mrs May back into it.

0:57:490:57:56

It's our 15th anniversary programme.

It could well be our last! That's

0:57:560:58:02

your lot for tonight.

0:58:020:58:07

We're heading north of the river

to Lou Lou's, where it's

0:58:070:58:10

the European Commission's

weekly Bash-a-Brit night.

0:58:100:58:13

But we don't intend to take our

punishment beatings lying down.

0:58:130:58:17

Inspired by the government's plan

to use our young royals to win trade

0:58:170:58:22

deals around the world,

we intend to do our bit as well.

0:58:220:58:26

So Michael is off to

Paraguay to sell shares

0:58:260:58:29

in his model railway set.

0:58:290:58:33

It's so big it fills most

of his bedroom, you know,

0:58:330:58:35

so no doubt it will fetch

a pretty penny.

0:58:350:58:38

And, Liz, who has plenty of time

on her hands these days,

0:58:380:58:46

is on a slow boat to

East Timor with a consignment

0:58:460:58:49

of Turkey Twizzlers.

0:58:490:58:50

As for me, well, naturally I'm off

to the States to take this load

0:58:500:58:54

of old broadcasting bollocks

and sell it to Trump TV.

0:58:540:58:56

APPLAUSE

0:58:560:59:00

Nighty night.

0:59:000:59:01

APPLAUSE

0:59:010:59:09

I'm not sure whether it's good

that's popular or not.

0:59:090:59:11

I'll have to think about that.

0:59:110:59:13

Anyway, nighty night,

don't let the Barniers bite.

0:59:130:59:15

Take it away, Swing Zazou.

0:59:150:59:23

# The judge, the priest,

the lawyer, the governor

0:59:440:59:46

# The leader, the switch,

the chain

0:59:460:59:48

# The printing press,

the telephone exchange

0:59:480:59:50

# It's all hooked up, it's all done

up

0:59:500:59:52

# I said the banker, the broker,

the health and safety

0:59:520:59:55

#The ratchet, the meter...#

0:59:550:59:56

Thank goodness that's over.

0:59:560:59:58

Andrew Neil presents a special This Week on location from a ballroom with special guest Molly the Dog.

They are joined Michael Portillo, Liz Kendall and Miranda Green, with a film rounding up the headlines from Andrew Rawnsley. The studio guests are David Starkey talking about the new puritanism at the top, while Brian Blessed is putting charm in the spotlight, and Swing Zazou will provide the music.

There is a Facebook live event on social media from the filming location, early in the evening, as the programme makes a rare visit away from its usual Westminster studio.