08/03/2018 This Week


08/03/2018

Similar Content

Browse content similar to 08/03/2018. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!

Transcript


LineFromTo

Tonight on This Week,

thank God for Wonder Woman.

0:00:070:00:12

# All the world is waiting for

you and the power you possess...#

0:00:120:00:20

She's the only one who can

save this excuse for a TV

0:00:200:00:23

show from going under.

0:00:230:00:29

Only a woman can sort out the mess

that is This Week, but don't

0:00:330:00:36

worry, Andrew, I've got this week's

political roundup fired up and

0:00:360:00:39

ready to go.

0:00:390:00:42

But what about Europe?

0:00:440:00:45

And I don't mean Brexit.

0:00:450:00:47

Why is the centre in meltdown

across the Continent?

0:00:470:00:55

Why is the centre left in meltdown

across the Continent?

0:00:590:01:02

I'm not sure anyone can

save the European left.

0:01:020:01:04

Not even Wonder Woman.

0:01:040:01:05

Now, where did I put

my superhero powers?

0:01:050:01:12

And can, or should,

anyone save us from

0:01:120:01:14

political grandstanding?

0:01:140:01:22

These bubbles, they

are very old media, a

0:01:220:01:25

bit like This Week.

0:01:250:01:27

We've got the internet now.

0:01:270:01:28

EVIL LAUGHTER

0:01:280:01:33

Thanks, Phill.

0:01:330:01:34

I think we'll leave it to the women.

0:01:340:01:42

Evenin' all.

0:01:420:01:44

Welcome to This Week,

a week in which the evidence mounted

0:01:440:01:47

that the Russian state

or its surrogates had indeed

0:01:470:01:50

attempted to assassinate a former

Russian spy now living in Salisbury,

0:01:500:01:54

jeopardising the lives

of his daughter and a British

0:01:540:01:58

bobby in the process.

0:01:580:01:59

The British reaction

was to stop Prince William

0:01:590:02:01

from going to the World Cup.

0:02:010:02:03

Sources tell me this alone has

reduced President Putin

0:02:030:02:06

to a quivering wreck.

0:02:060:02:07

He's refusing to leave his bedroom

0:02:070:02:09

and the white flag could soon be

flying over the Kremlin.

0:02:090:02:11

That'll teach him.

0:02:110:02:13

Don't mess with the Brits.

0:02:130:02:14

Or you won't get to meet

Meghan Markle next.

0:02:140:02:17

Back in Blighty, the Maybot had

a visit from her new best friend,

0:02:170:02:21

the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia.

0:02:210:02:22

The British are keen to portray him

as a moderniser, which is only fair.

0:02:220:02:26

As long as you don't

mind him turning Yemen

0:02:260:02:28

into the Saudi's Vietnam,

with attendant atrocities

0:02:280:02:31

and humanitarian disasters

and reports that beheadings

0:02:310:02:34

in his kingdom have doubled

since he was designated reforming

0:02:340:02:37

heir apparent last June.

0:02:370:02:41

I suppose it depends

what you mean by reform.

0:02:410:02:43

Some of Jezza's soulmates

on the Labour left boasted

0:02:430:02:45

that they had joined the protests

against his visit.

0:02:450:02:48

Strangely, I've yet to see them

outside the Russian,

0:02:480:02:50

Syrian or Iranian embassies.

0:02:500:02:53

But we all know they've committed no

atrocities in battle and all three

0:02:530:02:56

are exemplary when it comes

to human rights.

0:02:560:03:00

Or maybe I just missed them and

they're outside the embassies now.

0:03:000:03:04

In Brussels, Michel Barnier,

the Commission's chief Brexit

0:03:040:03:06

negotiator, revealed the EU's

bargaining position

0:03:060:03:08

for the next round of talks.

0:03:080:03:11

After a year of warning the Brits

that they could not cherry pick,

0:03:110:03:14

he proceeded to cherry pick

with a gusto that matched

0:03:140:03:18

Jack Cherry McCherrypicker,

0:03:180:03:20

the year he won the Cherry Picker

of the Year competition.

0:03:200:03:24

Even some of the British media

realised it was just

0:03:240:03:26

a bargaining position.

0:03:260:03:30

Speaking of those you wouldn't pick

to wash your socks, much less pick

0:03:300:03:33

and peel your cherries,

I'm joined on the sofa tonight

0:03:330:03:35

by two veterans of Cold War spying,

without whose services this country

0:03:350:03:39

would be a much safer place.

0:03:390:03:42

I speak, of course,

of Michael #choochoo Portillo

0:03:420:03:45

and Caroline #twinkletoes Flint.

0:03:450:03:53

Welcome. Your moment of the week?

0:03:530:04:00

Surrounded by steelworkers,

President of Donald Trump put

0:04:000:04:02

tariffs on imports of steel into the

United States, fulfilling a very

0:04:020:04:06

important pledge he had made to the

rust belt in the United States. Some

0:04:060:04:11

people immediately said this is bad

news for Brexit because we were

0:04:110:04:16

counting on making free trade deals

with the United States, which has

0:04:160:04:20

gone into protectionist mode. But

Donald Trump was denounced by Donald

0:04:200:04:27

Tusk, President of the European

Council, for putting on tariffs.

0:04:270:04:31

That is significant because tariffs

are the wrong thing to do, of

0:04:310:04:34

course, although the European Union

shelters behind tariffs inside its

0:04:340:04:38

customs union and single market. But

I think it will be hard for the

0:04:380:04:42

European Union to end up in a

situation where it applies tariffs

0:04:420:04:46

to the UK when it has so evidently

committed itself against tariffs

0:04:460:04:52

being applied by the United States.

Another factor in the grand Brexit

0:04:520:04:57

tobacco. Caroline.

My moment was

when my adult daughter and I joined

0:04:570:05:05

women for the March for women up to

Trafalgar Square, following the

0:05:050:05:10

route of suffragettes some 100 odd

years ago. It was special because it

0:05:100:05:14

was my daughter, but also it was the

first march I have not been

0:05:140:05:18

responsible for dragging my daughter

onto. It was her choice this time.

0:05:180:05:24

And it was quite a nice moment.

Very

well.

0:05:240:05:28

The Great Financial Crash of 2008

was a genuine crisis of capitalism.

0:05:280:05:31

Caused by cavalier capitalists

in banking and finance,

0:05:310:05:33

its painful consequences

were inflicted across the board

0:05:330:05:36

on plain folk who'd done nothing

to deserve being its victims.

0:05:360:05:41

So who would have thought,

a decade later, that the main

0:05:410:05:43

political casualty of the crash

would be not the mainstream right,

0:05:430:05:47

home of politicians most

associated with capitalism,

0:05:470:05:51

markets and deregulation,

but the mainstream left?

0:05:510:05:55

Yet almost everywhere

we look across Europe,

0:05:550:05:58

traditional social democratic

parties are in ragged retreat,

0:05:580:06:01

some facing extinction.

0:06:010:06:05

Reduced to a rump in Greece,

France and Holland.

0:06:050:06:07

Their worst result for

70 years in Germany.

0:06:070:06:10

Marginalised in Italy.

0:06:100:06:14

Struggling even in social

democracy's Scandinavian heartlands.

0:06:140:06:19

And it's not just

a Continental thing.

0:06:190:06:21

In Britain, Labour's social

democrats have had to cede power

0:06:210:06:23

to leadership of a more Marxist hue.

0:06:230:06:27

In America, the centre-left

Democrats couldn't even beat

0:06:270:06:29

Donald Trump, the epitome

of buccaneering capitalism.

0:06:290:06:33

So what's going on here?

0:06:330:06:35

We turned to Slovenian philosopher

extraordinaire, Slavoj Zizek.

0:06:350:06:39

This is his Take of the Week.

0:06:390:06:42

I'm Chef Slavoj, here to introduce

you to my Italian kitchen.

0:07:080:07:17

you to my Italian kitchen. Today,

capitalism is clearly entering its

0:07:180:07:21

final crisis. This is not a leftist

nightmare or dream. Long progressive

0:07:210:07:27

corporate figures like Elon musk and

Bill Gates know it. But there is no

0:07:270:07:33

organised left to offer a viable or

turn to, or a vision of life after

0:07:330:07:40

capitalism. So all we get is just a

protracted decay. The great German

0:07:400:07:50

thinker Walter Benjamin said, in

0:07:500:07:58

thinker Walter Benjamin said, in the

1930s, that every rise of fascism is

0:07:580:08:00

the sign of a failed revolution. And

I think this holds today more than

0:08:000:08:05

ever.

0:08:050:08:10

ever. The radical left proved its

inability in Greece, where the

0:08:100:08:17

government ended up as the most

faithful enabler of the austerities

0:08:170:08:25

policies. The latest election

results in Italy, as well as the

0:08:250:08:31

fragile coalition in Germany, also

demonstrate that the moderate social

0:08:310:08:37

Democratic left is just gradually

flattening.

0:08:370:08:50

flattening. Now, a new opposition is

replacing the traditional polarity

0:08:500:08:55

of the moderate left and moderate

right. It's the opposition between

0:08:550:08:59

Liberal

0:08:590:09:04

Liberal establishment and the

right-wing populism as a reaction to

0:09:050:09:07

it. The explosive rise of populism

all around Europe simply fills in

0:09:070:09:19

the void of the left's failure.

0:09:190:09:26

the void of the left's failure. We

are of us caught in a vicious cycle

0:09:300:09:33

which I think can be broken only by

a new, reinvented left, and

0:09:330:09:41

unfortunately we all know what lies

ahead in this new left will not

0:09:410:09:48

appear. A new authoritarian

capitalism which is now spreading

0:09:480:09:50

all around the globe, from Trump to

Putin, from Turkey to China.

0:09:500:10:05

Putin, from Turkey to China. Our

social muscles are already acting.

0:10:050:10:11

There are protests all around. But

will they reinvigorate our nerves, a

0:10:110:10:19

new leftist vision, or will they

remain just a blind contracting

0:10:190:10:24

movement?

0:10:240:10:31

Thanks to Divertimenti Cookery

School on the Brompton Road for use

0:10:320:10:35

of their beautiful kitchen.

0:10:350:10:38

We're sorry Slavoj forgot

to do the washing up.

0:10:380:10:43

But he is with us now. Welcome back.

Michael, listening to that, I still

0:10:430:10:50

didn't get an explanation, I don't

know whether you did, of why it is

0:10:500:10:54

the mainstream left that has taken a

hit since the financial crash,

0:10:540:10:57

rather than the mainstream right.

I

think both have taken a hit. Mrs

0:10:570:11:03

Merkel did pretty badly last German

election. Macron replaced a

0:11:030:11:08

right-wing party in France. That

party has virtually disappeared for

0:11:080:11:14

the time being. In Italy...

He has

actually replaced the Socialists in

0:11:140:11:20

France, who took a much bigger hit.

Both sides took a hit, that is my

0:11:200:11:26

point. In Spain, the right is in

power at the moment but there are

0:11:260:11:29

now four main parties where there

used to be two. I do think it was

0:11:290:11:34

right to say that there is a

division between the populist right

0:11:340:11:40

and the elites, the Liberal elites.

That is because the Liberal elites

0:11:400:11:44

are distant, haughty, detached from

real people's issues. And one of the

0:11:440:11:51

main factors, which has illustrated

that aloofness, has been immigration

0:11:510:11:57

policy, where I think really the

left has had nothing to say. But

0:11:570:12:02

immigration has been, in the case of

Mrs Merkel, also extremely damaging

0:12:020:12:06

to the right. We have mentioned this

before. What we are seeing is a

0:12:060:12:10

breakdown of the old order in which

traditional parties of left and

0:12:100:12:14

right have suffered.

Mainstream left

and right have suffered but

0:12:140:12:18

mainstream social Democrat parties

have suffered more. We have a

0:12:180:12:23

Conservative Prime Minister in

Britain, a centrist President in

0:12:230:12:26

France, we are going to have a

centre-right Chancellor in Germany.

0:12:260:12:30

None of the above applies to the

Social Democrats. Why?

It is

0:12:300:12:35

fascinating. I can remember not long

after the crash being at a party of

0:12:350:12:44

European Socialists. I think there

was a sense among sister parties

0:12:440:12:46

that this would be a great moment.

And it didn't work out like that. If

0:12:460:12:51

you look at France, our sister party

vote in France is down to 6%, in

0:12:510:12:57

Holland it is 6%. I think the SPD in

Germany is 6%. Why is that

0:12:570:13:02

happening? I think it is a

combination of things. It is about

0:13:020:13:08

elites. There is an anti-elitism

coming from the far right, and

0:13:080:13:13

actually some of the more far left

parties that have emerged across

0:13:130:13:16

Europe. But again, I think it is

also about us, my sister party not

0:13:160:13:21

being able to provide the answers of

how to deal with globalisation, with

0:13:210:13:26

immigration, how do we deal with the

fact that there have been changes in

0:13:260:13:30

class identity as well? For all

those reasons and many more, we

0:13:300:13:35

haven't reaped the benefit of a

major collapse that was the

0:13:350:13:38

responsibility of the banks.

If the

Social Democrats have failed and the

0:13:380:13:44

neo- Marxist left has failed, and

you give Greece as the example of

0:13:440:13:48

that, who is going to reinvent the

left?

0:13:480:13:55

First, I am not saying it will

necessarily happen. Maybe it will

0:13:550:13:59

not. Again, as I said, in the short

film, the problem for me is that if

0:13:590:14:05

nothing happens we are caught in a

very sad, deadly cycle, where we are

0:14:050:14:09

all moving towards this, and this is

the saddest phenomenon to date, this

0:14:090:14:18

gradual rise...

In what way is

Britain going towards that? You said

0:14:180:14:24

we are all moving, but Britain is

not, France is not, France is a

0:14:240:14:28

government renowned for moderation.

In Europe, we still hold it somehow.

0:14:280:14:34

But it is the European social

democracy as we are talking about.

0:14:340:14:39

Look at China, for the first time,

democracy as we like it in Europe is

0:14:390:14:43

losing.

You say that, that is the

dire consequence, but you cannot

0:14:430:14:47

tell us who will reinvent the left?

If it sounds strange, for someone

0:14:470:14:53

from the left, which I am, miracles

happen. Who would have thought in

0:14:530:14:59

the United States that something

like Bernie Sanders could have

0:14:590:15:07

happened?

He lost.

He lost, but the

movement remained. He got it because

0:15:070:15:13

what we should mention, in what

sense, what Michael mentioned, some

0:15:130:15:18

kind of a strange class struggle is

coming back. I think the big event

0:15:180:15:23

in the United States was the speed

between Steve Bannon and Trump.

But

0:15:230:15:31

that is on the right. I'm trying to

get to the bottom of this widespread

0:15:310:15:35

retreat of social democracy. Social

democracy was at the heart of

0:15:350:15:40

rebuilding post-war Europe. Social

Democratic parties in Scandinavia.

0:15:400:15:47

Different problem.

But in your view,

if 50 Shades Of Left have failed,

0:15:470:15:55

why were the 51st work? And Bernie

Sanders was not reinventing the

0:15:550:16:01

left. Bernie Sanders was introducing

the left for the first time into

0:16:010:16:07

America. There was nothing new about

that.

With both of you, the problem

0:16:070:16:14

not only of the mainstream liberal

centre, even of the left, it was

0:16:140:16:19

hidden away, avoiding certain issues

and so on. That was the scandal,

0:16:190:16:27

that the writer stole the popular

opinion a large extent. Let me

0:16:270:16:31

briefly answer your central

question. I think that the issues

0:16:310:16:37

that we are facing today, you can

even not call what I am expected to

0:16:370:16:47

happen the left...

But do you

understand, not just in this country

0:16:470:16:51

but across Europe, working class

people who traditionally would vote

0:16:510:16:55

for the sister parties of the Labour

Party in the UK, they moved away

0:16:550:16:58

from that to right-wing parties

because they felt, for one reason or

0:16:580:17:04

another, that Europe's inability to

get hold of immigration, some other

0:17:040:17:09

things we have seen in terms of the

refugee crisis, writ large, when

0:17:090:17:13

Angela Merkel announced...

0:17:130:17:20

Angela Merkel announced...

Let us

hear from Michael. We know what the

0:17:200:17:24

analysis is. Whether we go from

here? I put this to you, Caroline.

0:17:240:17:30

The one social Democratic Party, at

least from a social democratic

0:17:300:17:33

tradition, in Europe, the one social

Democratic Party, at least from a

0:17:330:17:36

social democratic tradition, in

Europe, that are still doing well,

0:17:360:17:37

is the British Labour Party. And

that is the one that has moved most

0:17:370:17:40

of the left.

Yes, you are right. But

I think part of that...

Isn't that a

0:17:400:17:46

solution?

Part of it is. What the

traditional voters like about what

0:17:460:17:51

Labour are saying is about tackling

some other things we didn't tackle

0:17:510:17:55

before about globalisation, about

how we have to have a rebalanced

0:17:550:17:59

economy, talking about how we

address some of the issues about the

0:17:590:18:01

fact that we have had, since the

crash, people's wages kept down,

0:18:010:18:08

there is a peel there. -- appeal. We

also had to talk about immigration.

0:18:080:18:14

Hold on, the French Socialists did

not move to the left, they did to

0:18:140:18:19

begin, but they moved back to the

centre and almost got wiped out. The

0:18:190:18:23

German social Democrats did not move

to the left and got the worst vote

0:18:230:18:26

since the 1940s. The Italians, they

moved in a Blairite direction and

0:18:260:18:36

they were marginalised. The lesson

is quite clear. It is not your

0:18:360:18:41

lesson?

The contrast between Britain

and the rest of the European Union

0:18:410:18:47

would suggest to me that, in the

European Union, we have had a

0:18:470:18:50

trade-off between parties of the

left, that used to satisfy working

0:18:500:18:55

class voters, the working class vote

has now moved to the extreme right.

0:18:550:19:00

Some of it moved to the right in

this country as well, in the case of

0:19:000:19:04

Ukip. After Brexit, the question of

immigration appeared to be answered.

0:19:040:19:10

I'm not saying it was answered, but

it appeared to be, because Brexit

0:19:100:19:14

was the solution. Suddenly, the

right-wing party disappeared

0:19:140:19:16

altogether. I also take the view

that Labour is not going to win the

0:19:160:19:21

next election because it has moved

too far to the left. Just to make

0:19:210:19:24

one other point, you say where is

the revival of the left going to

0:19:240:19:29

come from? The revival of anything

can come from leadership. If you

0:19:290:19:33

have an outstanding personality,

Macron has done this to an extent,

0:19:330:19:38

he has emerged from nowhere and

taken over France.

From the centre?

0:19:380:19:42

From the centre. Angela Merkel's day

has come and gone. But there is an

0:19:420:19:48

astonishing lack of charismatic

leadership potential in Europe.

0:19:480:19:51

Trump, whatever you think of him, he

is a charismatic leader that came

0:19:510:19:55

from nowhere and has taken over.

I

think the problem is very big here.

0:19:550:20:01

I agree with both of you, there are

central issues of immigration. In

0:20:010:20:09

the politically correct left, you

are simply prohibited to mention

0:20:090:20:13

them. I know this, for my book

Against The Double Blackmail, the

0:20:130:20:18

suffering of the immigrant, I tried

to approach this. If you want to

0:20:180:20:24

solve this problem, first you should

not just play this for humanitarian

0:20:240:20:28

game, open our hearts and accept

them. Let's confront the real

0:20:280:20:34

problem of cultural differences and

so on and act pre-emptively. We are

0:20:340:20:40

tolerating the Civil War in Yemen

and so on, and this is the breeding

0:20:400:20:47

ground for a new wave of immigrants,

and so on, and so on. If this

0:20:470:20:51

doesn't change, it will have a point

as well. What I am saying is that

0:20:510:20:56

the left, the majority of the left,

like the European traditional social

0:20:560:21:07

Democrats, people feel it, they

really don't have a consistent clear

0:21:070:21:10

vision of what to do. It is a big

problem. It is not an easy problem.

0:21:100:21:17

What to do? Obviously the old state

socialism will not work. This

0:21:170:21:21

radical leftist dreams, of some

direct democracy, local councils,

0:21:210:21:26

no. I am here kind of as a state

philosopher. We will need to cope

0:21:260:21:34

with the economy and so on. A large

form of international coordination

0:21:340:21:38

to solve this problem and so on. I

am not talking about the

0:21:380:21:44

continuation of the same left. The

reason I have minimal hope is that,

0:21:440:21:47

sooner or later, this problem is

pressing honours, ecology,

0:21:470:21:55

immigration, international order,

financial chaos. -- pressing on

0:21:550:21:58

others. Even by genetics, who will

control it? Are we aware what is

0:21:580:22:05

happening in China, where the state

already has plans to coordinate the

0:22:050:22:08

bio genetics of the population to

keep them quiet? The only answer to

0:22:080:22:14

this is from what I call the left.

Nothing to do with the old communist

0:22:140:22:20

left or whatever. But I kind of

organised confronting of this. Just

0:22:200:22:30

computing...

We have to leave that

come on Chinese biological policy.

0:22:300:22:34

We don't have time to get into that.

Don't underestimate it.

I am still

0:22:340:22:40

trying to work out the future of

European socialism.

Social democracy

0:22:400:22:43

as we know it, something...

That is

it!

The British Labour Party...

We

0:22:430:22:51

do know that. Sorry, we have to move

on. We have other guests.

I'm sorry,

0:22:510:22:56

OK.

0:22:560:22:58

It's late.

0:22:580:22:59

Emma Watson late.

0:22:590:23:02

Yes, the fragrant Hermione

of Harry Potter fame caused

0:23:020:23:04

a Twitter storm this week

over her Time's Up fake

0:23:040:23:06

tattoo, which she proudly

displayed at the Oscars.

0:23:060:23:08

The problem was that,

shock, horror, the artwork

0:23:080:23:10

on her arm was missing an apostrophe

before the "s".

0:23:100:23:13

The grammar police

went into a frenzy.

0:23:130:23:14

English teachers fainted.

0:23:140:23:16

Tattoo parlours went into lockdown

to escape public wrath.

0:23:160:23:18

Me?

0:23:180:23:19

I see a career opportunity.

0:23:190:23:20

I've offered my services

as a tattoo proof-reader.

0:23:200:23:25

Someone we feel sure is never short

of apostrophes and punctuation,

0:23:250:23:28

a master of pauses, clauses

and applauses, is comedian,

0:23:280:23:30

poet and podcaster Phill Jupitus,

who'll be putting grandstanding

0:23:300:23:33

in the Spotlight.

0:23:330:23:37

And if you'd like to get up to some

nocturnal grandstanding

0:23:370:23:41

with your usual unfathomable musings

on the Tweeter, the Fleecebook,

0:23:410:23:43

and Snapnumpty, my strong

advice is, don't bother.

0:23:430:23:45

The world's oldest known message

in a bottle was found

0:23:450:23:47

washed up on a beach this

week, after 132 years.

0:23:470:23:50

That's about how long we'll take

to get round to your

0:23:500:23:52

social media drivelling.

0:23:520:23:58

French President Emmanuel Macron

is under attack from the usual

0:23:580:24:01

health police busybodies

for defending every French person's

0:24:010:24:03

right to drink wine twice a day,

at lunch and dinner.

0:24:030:24:09

That's our kinda president!

0:24:090:24:11

Though we understand

Jean Claude Juncker has been

0:24:110:24:19

on the phone to the Elysee Palace

from Brussels to complain

0:24:190:24:22

that he didn't include breakfast.

0:24:220:24:23

President Trump, on the other hand,

doesn't drink at all.

0:24:230:24:25

Maybe he's too busy tweeting.

0:24:250:24:27

Though this week he's

being surprisingly silent

0:24:270:24:28

on the suspected Russian involvement

in the attempted assassination

0:24:280:24:30

of a foreign agent who

sold secrets to MI6.

0:24:300:24:33

Now I wonder why that is.

0:24:330:24:34

Maybe his phone battery is dead.

0:24:340:24:37

Anyway, these are dark times,

when we're all in need of a hero.

0:24:370:24:40

So here's our very own Wonder Woman,

Viv Groskop, with her

0:24:400:24:43

roundup of the week.

0:24:430:24:46

PHONE RINGS

0:24:500:24:52

This Week needs help.

0:24:550:24:56

We all know that.

0:24:560:24:58

I can't work miracles,

but let me see what I can do.

0:24:580:25:01

# Wonder Woman!

0:25:020:25:05

# Wonder Woman!

0:25:050:25:10

# All the world is waiting for you

0:25:100:25:12

# And the power you possess.

0:25:120:25:16

# In your satin tights,

fighting for your rights...

0:25:160:25:20

What a challenge I face.

0:25:200:25:24

I've got to sort out Brexit,

fix the housing situation

0:25:240:25:28

and, on top of all that,

This Week have put me in Michael's

0:25:280:25:31

favourite fancy dress outfit.

0:25:310:25:32

It's a good job I've got

superhero resilience.

0:25:320:25:34

I bet Theresa May wishes she had

some superpowers as she attempts

0:25:340:25:37

to push through Brexit

with a divided country and party.

0:25:370:25:39

That said, her big speech last week

was well received and she returned

0:25:390:25:42

to the House of Commons

with a surprising confidence.

0:25:420:25:45

We are close to agreement

on the terms of a time-limited

0:25:450:25:48

implimentation period to give

governments, businesses and citizens

0:25:480:25:50

on both sides time to prepare

for our new relationship.

0:25:500:25:54

And I am confident we can

resolve our remaining

0:25:540:25:56

differences in the days ahead.

0:25:560:25:59

Now we must focus on our

future relationship.

0:25:590:26:03

A new relationship that respects

the result of the referendum,

0:26:030:26:07

provides an enduring solution,

protects people's jobs and security,

0:26:070:26:09

is consistent with the kind

of country we want to be

0:26:090:26:13

and strengthens our union

of nations and people.

0:26:130:26:18

I sympathise with Theresa May.

0:26:180:26:20

Fighting the forces

of negativity is hard work.

0:26:200:26:22

And this week her European

friends revealed their lack

0:26:220:26:26

of optimism as they published

their draft negotiation guidelines.

0:26:260:26:29

Our agreement will not make trade

within the UK and the EU

0:26:310:26:33

frictionless or smoother.

0:26:330:26:39

It will make it more complicated

and costly than today for all of us.

0:26:390:26:45

This is the essence of Brexit.

0:26:450:26:47

A pick and mix approach

for a non-member state

0:26:480:26:50

is out of the question.

0:26:500:26:55

I wonder what it could mean?

0:26:550:26:56

Spreadsheet Phil made it clear

that the Government wants to protect

0:26:560:27:00

the city and could reject any trade

deal that doesn't include

0:27:000:27:03

financial services.

0:27:030:27:06

We do not expect the same

relationship we have today

0:27:060:27:08

across all areas of activity

in financial services.

0:27:080:27:11

Trade-offs should be expected.

0:27:110:27:13

And the industry will change.

0:27:130:27:18

But we should ensure that the future

partnership strengthens European

0:27:180:27:21

stability and prosperity rather

than weakening it.

0:27:210:27:24

He's looking to a TTIP type deal.

0:27:240:27:27

You know, TTIP, after three years -

well - three and a half years

0:27:270:27:31

of negotiation, collapsed.

0:27:310:27:33

But, in addition to that,

what TTIP did, it actually took

0:27:330:27:35

powers away from Parliament and gave

it to corporate lawyers.

0:27:350:27:39

So, this flies in the face

of everything people voted

0:27:390:27:42

for in the referendum.

0:27:420:27:43

This is not the way to go.

0:27:430:27:45

# Wonder Woman!

0:27:450:27:49

# Get us out from

under, Wonder Woman!

0:27:490:27:52

The Saudi prince's visit

to the UK has caused

0:27:580:28:00

a few raised eyebrows.

0:28:000:28:01

It came as no surprise

in Westminster that Jeremy Corbyn,

0:28:010:28:03

a passionate critic of the regime,

used PMQs to make it clear

0:28:030:28:06

he thought it was wrong

to roll out the red carpet.

0:28:060:28:09

However, Theresa May successfully

maintained the party line.

0:28:090:28:12

Mr Speaker, it cannot be right

that her government is colluding

0:28:120:28:15

in what the United Nations says

is evidence of war crimes.

0:28:150:28:19

Will the Prime Minister

used her meeting today

0:28:190:28:22

Will the Prime Minister

use her meeting today

0:28:220:28:28

with the prince to halt the arms

supplies and demand an immediate

0:28:280:28:31

ceasefire in Yemen?

0:28:310:28:33

We are all concerned

about the appalling humanitarian

0:28:330:28:37

situation in Yemen, and the effect

it is having on people,

0:28:370:28:40

particularly affect it is having

on women and children.

0:28:400:28:42

When I went to Saudi Arabia

in December, I met with the crowned

0:28:420:28:50

prince, I raised with him to end

the need to open the port

0:28:540:28:57

of Hodeidah to humanitarian

and commercial supplies.

0:28:570:29:00

I am pleased to say that

Saudi Arabia and then did just that.

0:29:000:29:03

This vindicates the engagement

that we have with Saudi Arabia to be

0:29:030:29:06

able to sit down with them.

0:29:060:29:07

Is that Captain America,

the human pinnacle of perfection

0:29:070:29:09

I can see in the distance?

0:29:090:29:12

Oh, it's just clumsy old Boris.

0:29:160:29:20

And when the Foreign Secretary had

to address parliament

0:29:200:29:23

on the sensitive issue

of the poisoning of a former

0:29:230:29:26

Kremlin double agent,

he seemed unsure whether to go

0:29:260:29:28

for broke or exercise

diplomatic restraint.

0:29:280:29:33

While it would be wrong

to prejudge the investigation,

0:29:330:29:35

I can reassure the house that should

evidence emerged that implies

0:29:350:29:40

state responsibility,

then Her Majesty's Government

0:29:400:29:42

will respond appropriately.

0:29:420:29:45

Russia, I'm afraid, is now

come in many respects,

0:29:450:29:47

a malign and disruptive force.

0:29:470:29:53

Thinking ahead to the World Cup

this July, this summer,

0:29:530:29:56

I think it will be very difficult

to imagine that UK representation

0:29:560:29:59

of that event could go

ahead in the normal way.

0:29:590:30:03

Where is my Lasso of Truth?

0:30:030:30:11

TRANSLATION:

These people have been

used by the foreign media

0:30:130:30:15

for an anti-Russian campaign.

0:30:150:30:16

It is a traditional campaign,

the tradition is to make things up.

0:30:160:30:19

We can only see it as a provocation.

0:30:190:30:21

Whoops, I probably shouldn't have

done that, seeing as we need

0:30:210:30:25

all the bricks and mortar

we can get.

0:30:250:30:27

There was certainly no shortage

of these when the Prime Minister

0:30:270:30:29

delivered her warning to developers

not to restrict the housing

0:30:290:30:32

supply this week.

0:30:320:30:33

Now, where is that woman who looks

as if she's struck up a chimney?

0:30:330:30:40

Now, where is that woman who looks

as if she's stuck up a chimney?

0:30:400:30:43

But it's also time for builders

and developers to step

0:30:430:30:46

up and do their bit.

0:30:460:30:48

The bonuses paid to the heads

of some of our biggest developers

0:30:480:30:51

are based not on the number

of homes they built,

0:30:510:30:54

but on their profits or share price.

0:30:540:30:56

In a market where lower supply

equals higher prices,

0:30:560:30:58

that creates a perverse incentive,

one that does not encourage them

0:30:580:31:01

to build the homes we need.

0:31:010:31:03

# Wonder Woman!

0:31:030:31:03

Right, This Week.

0:31:030:31:05

I've completed my challenge.

0:31:050:31:12

I'm off to Loulou's to raise a toast

to International Women's Day.

0:31:120:31:15

Are you coming, Andrew and Michael?

0:31:150:31:17

Drinks are on you!

0:31:170:31:18

# Wonder Woman! #

0:31:180:31:25

Michael, Russia, if it is Russia or

its surrogates behind this event in

0:31:250:31:29

Salisbury. Do we have many options?

I don't think we have the many. I

0:31:290:31:35

don't want to join the blame against

Boris Johnson for not saying more at

0:31:350:31:40

the moment. It is striking this week

we discovered for sure that about a

0:31:400:31:44

year ago the half brother of the

North Korean leader was poisoned by

0:31:440:31:48

that regime.

That was at the

airport.

Only after a year of

0:31:480:31:54

investigation which has proved

beyond any doubt that the North

0:31:540:31:58

Korean regime was responsible as the

United States taken action against

0:31:580:32:03

North Korea. The proper position for

the British is to say this needs to

0:32:030:32:08

be proved beyond doubt. I suppose it

is plausible that could be another

0:32:080:32:11

regime seeking to discredit the

Russian regime. The one comfort I

0:32:110:32:16

take from this is I ask what would

be the motive of the Russians to do

0:32:160:32:20

this. Revenge seems an insufficient

motive. It seems to me it is a very

0:32:200:32:27

public and the brutal attempt at the

execution of a former spy, with

0:32:270:32:31

complete disregard to public safety

and the safety of his family. In

0:32:310:32:36

fact, it seems members of his family

may have suffered the same fate. Why

0:32:360:32:40

has this been done? Think it is

possibly that the Russians are

0:32:400:32:45

sending a message to people who are

active in the field today. In other

0:32:450:32:49

words, it may be that Britain is

scoring some important successes

0:32:490:32:53

against Russian intelligence right

now, and it is intended to put

0:32:530:33:00

people on guard, whether they are

British agents, or Russians who have

0:33:000:33:03

been turned, that they will be

pursued.

We can get you.

They will

0:33:030:33:08

be pursued to death, and their

families will be annihilated as

0:33:080:33:12

well. That is not a cheerful

thought, but it makes me think

0:33:120:33:17

Britain must be scoring some

successes, for such a terrible

0:33:170:33:20

warning to be sent to us.

We will

probably never know that. Caroline,

0:33:200:33:27

options?

I agree with everything

Michael said, but if it is found to

0:33:270:33:31

be the case that this is a Russian

state-sponsored attempted murder,

0:33:310:33:38

maybe murder, if people don't

survive. Thankfully the police

0:33:380:33:41

officer seems to be doing better

today. Then we have to look at the

0:33:410:33:46

number of options. There are issues

around diplomatic ties, issues about

0:33:460:33:51

economic sanctions. I know there are

lots of people in London from Russia

0:33:510:33:57

who don't necessarily agree with

Putin, but there are also a number

0:33:570:34:02

of other situations where there may

be government officials who owned

0:34:020:34:05

properties or have assets here. We

should look at those. But I think it

0:34:050:34:10

is difficult, all this.

0:34:100:34:16

is difficult, all this. Because on

so many fronts Putin is laying out a

0:34:160:34:19

very clear narrative to his people

about what he is about and what he

0:34:190:34:22

thinks Russia should be about today.

We heard that in his speech about

0:34:220:34:27

nuclear weapons a few days ago.

Actually, part of it is, just what

0:34:270:34:31

do you do about the problem called

Russia?

While we are both being

0:34:310:34:38

cautious, we have to recognise that

weakness is punished by the

0:34:380:34:44

Russians.

They got away with

Litvinenko.

Completely. I have never

0:34:440:34:50

been satisfied that the death of

Boris Berezovsky was not suspicious.

0:34:500:34:55

He was found hanged. I was never

satisfied with the investigation

0:34:550:34:58

into that. We just had a decision by

the Olympic Committee that the

0:34:580:35:05

Russians will be readmitted to

sport, even though there has been

0:35:050:35:09

state-sponsored doping of their

athletes. If all we are ever going

0:35:090:35:13

to do is slap them on the wrist, we

can expect a very vigorous

0:35:130:35:18

continuance of their policy.

They

spot weakness and exploit it. Saudi

0:35:180:35:24

Arabia. Do we have an alternative to

engaging?

With Saudi Arabia? We have

0:35:240:35:32

to engage with Saudi Arabia and it

is a complicated relationship.

0:35:320:35:37

Theresa May was right on Wednesday

when she said that our relationship

0:35:370:35:42

with them in terms of information

has probably helped save lives in

0:35:420:35:46

the UK but it is also a very

difficult relationship, because

0:35:460:35:50

there is no doubt the bombing

tactics they have taken in Yemen,

0:35:500:35:55

everybody would agree they have been

beyond what was necessary, to say

0:35:550:35:58

the least. As you said earlier,

there is a new crown prince. In

0:35:580:36:06

June, women will be able to drive

and there are other things happening

0:36:060:36:09

for women which I welcome, but there

have been double the number of

0:36:090:36:12

beheadings and since he has been in

charge and he is not a Democrat as

0:36:120:36:16

we would think of those things.

They

are in short supply in Saudi Arabia.

0:36:160:36:23

Well, exactly. They are having to

face out to the world because they

0:36:230:36:26

don't want to rely on oil any more.

70% of their population are under 30

0:36:260:36:30

and there are just not the jobs

there. So is there an opportunity to

0:36:300:36:35

speak some home truths but also take

advantage of the fact that they are

0:36:350:36:38

having to look out to the world more

than before, and he is up for that?

0:36:380:36:42

In doing so, there is an opportunity

to lay down some home truths about

0:36:420:36:46

what we believe is acceptable or

not.

It is apparently a very special

0:36:460:36:53

relationship with Saudi Arabia. 18

Saudis were involved in killing 3000

0:36:530:36:59

people in New York City on 9/11 and

the response was to attack Iraq. I

0:36:590:37:06

think Saudi Arabia is responsible

for building mosques with the aim of

0:37:060:37:12

promoting Wahab Riaz throughout

Europe.

Including in this country.

0:37:120:37:19

That is at least an indirect threat

to our security. And in the Balkans,

0:37:190:37:24

in Bosnia, for example. These things

not only go unpunished but actually

0:37:240:37:30

unremarked. Why is it such a special

relationship, because of the

0:37:300:37:36

intelligence, because we cannot

countenance the collapse of the

0:37:360:37:39

regime because of the chaos it would

create in an oil producing state,

0:37:390:37:42

and because of our relationship on

defence. So this is complicated.

0:37:420:37:47

Very briefly, the last Labour

government under Robin Cook 's

0:37:470:37:54

bowels to an ethical foreign policy.

It didn't go anywhere. But if you

0:37:540:37:57

are going to have an ethical foreign

policy as to be all embracing and

0:37:570:38:01

you would have to cut off not only

Saudi Arabia but a number of nations

0:38:010:38:05

in the Middle East, Russia, China,

which has the worst possible record

0:38:050:38:09

on the death penalty. If the death

penalty issue or criterion, you

0:38:090:38:14

would have to cut of the United

States as well.

Michel Barnier, his

0:38:140:38:20

negotiating position, what do you

make of it?

What is clear is that

0:38:200:38:25

for all the talk about cherrypicking

and what have you, at the end of the

0:38:250:38:29

day there will be cherrypicking,

both from the EU side and the UK

0:38:290:38:32

side. I do not think outside of the

EU, the Norway option, the Canada

0:38:320:38:38

option, all of that is about

cherrypicking to an extent, what

0:38:380:38:42

fits in to keep relationships

strong. And I do think that with

0:38:420:38:50

more detail now being talked about,

I think there is more of a sense of

0:38:500:38:55

urgency about how big the challenge

is. It's enormous. On trade, on the

0:38:550:39:00

Public Accounts Committee this week,

something like 800 trade agreements

0:39:000:39:03

we are tied to within the EU that we

will have to think about how we

0:39:030:39:08

negotiate them going forward. I

think, hopefully, and I hope this

0:39:080:39:14

sincerely, that we start seeing some

detail and get some sense that there

0:39:140:39:18

is some momentum for want of a

better word, behind this. But I

0:39:180:39:21

think there is a lot of talk on both

sides.

When you cut through the talk

0:39:210:39:26

and look at the positions, you can

see the makings of a deal.

I have

0:39:260:39:30

always thought that. When you

referred to cherrypicking at the

0:39:300:39:35

beginning of the programme, from the

EU point of you, that was a

0:39:350:39:39

reference, was it, to the fact that

they say we might be able to do a

0:39:390:39:42

deal on free trade but it will not

include financial services?

What

0:39:420:39:47

they are saying, their position to

start the gauche nations, they are

0:39:470:39:51

saying we will have free trades in

goods where we run a massive surplus

0:39:510:39:58

with you, but not in services where

you run a massive surplus with us.

0:39:580:40:03

And we want complete access to your

fishing waters. But you can't have

0:40:030:40:10

access to European financial

services. These are the kind of

0:40:100:40:13

opening... The problem is that so

much of this coverage seems to think

0:40:130:40:19

that is the European position and

that is how it will end up, whereas

0:40:190:40:22

it is just the opening gambit.

It is

the opening gambit. But I think the

0:40:220:40:28

EU is more successful at putting out

an opening gambit than we are. As

0:40:280:40:33

you implied, think the British media

is extremely gullible at

0:40:330:40:37

interpreting every opening gambit of

theirs as being a defeat in the

0:40:370:40:42

making for us, which is not the case

at all. There is strength to the

0:40:420:40:45

British position.

0:40:450:40:47

It's been a week when the air has

been thick with public figures

0:40:470:40:50

rushing to attach themselves

to worthy causes.

0:40:500:40:52

From International Woman's Day,

to poverty, to rough sleeping,

0:40:520:40:54

to healthy eating, to #metoo,

all manner of celebrities,

0:40:540:40:56

from Oscar winners down,

have been vocal in letting us know

0:40:560:40:59

that they really care about more

than lots of dosh and a free

0:40:590:41:02

designer frock for the red carpet.

0:41:020:41:05

Indeed these days it seems to be

part of an actor's job spec that it

0:41:050:41:08

involves letting us all know how

they feel about the latest

0:41:080:41:12

pressing issue du jour.

0:41:120:41:14

Commendable concern for society's

ills or as fake as the tattoos

0:41:140:41:17

they wash off when the cameras

have moved on?

0:41:170:41:20

Tonight we're putting political

grandstanding in the Spotlight.

0:41:200:41:27

MUSIC:

Theme from BBC Grandstand.

0:41:300:41:38

It's that time of year again

when Hollywood celebrities grace us

0:41:400:41:43

with their wardrobes

and their politics.

0:41:430:41:46

Yes, it's Oscars week.

0:41:460:41:49

On this year's red carpet,

outrage was all the rage.

0:41:490:41:52

Frances McDormand took

a rousing roll call.

0:41:520:41:56

Meryl, if you do it,

everybody else will.

0:41:560:41:58

Come on.

0:41:580:41:59

The film-makers, the

producers, the directors.

0:41:590:42:02

I have two words to leave you with

tonight, ladies and gentlemen.

0:42:020:42:05

Inclusion rider.

0:42:050:42:12

But was Emma Watson's fake tattoo

upstanding or just grandstanding?

0:42:120:42:14

Even Theresa May didn't

miss an opportunity

0:42:140:42:18

to show she's woke, too.

0:42:180:42:22

First of all, can I thank

the Right Honourable Gentleman

0:42:220:42:25

for telling me that it is

International Women's Day tomorrow.

0:42:250:42:31

I think that is what's

called mansplaining.

0:42:310:42:37

And was MP Philip Davies

grandstanding or being deliberately

0:42:370:42:40

provocative when he attempted

to stand up for men in a serious

0:42:400:42:42

debate about misogyny?

0:42:420:42:45

I just wondered whether or not

we could take it as read, therefore,

0:42:450:42:47

that she thought misandry should

also be a hate crime

0:42:470:42:50

in exactly the same way?

0:42:500:42:53

It is precisely because of the power

imbalance in society

0:42:530:42:56

that is disproportionately affecting

women in a negative way.

0:42:560:43:02

Meanwhile, obesity warrior

Jamie Oliver says the middle-class

0:43:020:43:03

elites have got to stop

grandstanding when it

0:43:030:43:06

comes to overeating.

0:43:060:43:10

It's kind of like one

brilliant idea can fix this.

0:43:100:43:12

It doesn't work.

0:43:120:43:13

Believe you me, it doesn't work.

0:43:130:43:16

Are we all missing out

on the real progressive issues?

0:43:160:43:18

Prince Charles asks when did married

women start using their maiden name?

0:43:180:43:24

I thought to myself some time ago,

who is Cheryl Tweedy?

0:43:240:43:27

I suddenly realised that

I knew the Cheryl bit.

0:43:270:43:29

I have missed out on the Tweedy.

0:43:290:43:37

Comedian Phill Jupitus

hates grandstanding.

0:43:380:43:39

But tough, Phill, get

on your soapbox and grandstand

0:43:390:43:41

with the rest of us.

0:43:410:43:48

And Phill is here now.

0:43:480:43:55

Are we seeing more grandstanding?

When people get that platform, there

0:43:550:44:00

are a number of things at work.

Firstly, the number of advisers that

0:44:000:44:06

people have, saying, you will have

this opportunity, particularly

0:44:060:44:11

people who are active, consider

themselves, you know, socially aware

0:44:110:44:16

and active. It's very, very tempting

when you know you are going to have

0:44:160:44:22

something like the Oscars, with

millions of people watching, and you

0:44:220:44:25

are going to have the opportunity to

say something, or do something and

0:44:250:44:30

make some sort of gesture. It's so

tempting for them to do it.

It has

0:44:300:44:36

become endemic. There was a British

actress who made a statement years

0:44:360:44:42

ago about the Palestinians, Vanessa

Redgrave. And that was quite a

0:44:420:44:45

surprise. It was controversial.

The

early days of it.

She was alone when

0:44:450:44:52

she did that, it was not common. Now

almost everybody has to. And they do

0:44:520:44:58

it knowing that the audience in

front of them is entirely on their

0:44:580:45:01

side. It's not a brave thing to do.

The interesting thing about Francis

0:45:010:45:08

McDormand was that thing about the

inclusion rider.

I didn't know about

0:45:080:45:12

that. I think there were people who

saw that who will be going into the

0:45:120:45:17

industry that will not even be aware

that was an option. Something like

0:45:170:45:23

that, I actually thought was quite

clever. It was very minimal. But

0:45:230:45:28

what you have to remember about

grandstanding is that they are in

0:45:280:45:32

showbiz, and so an element of what

they do is about changing the energy

0:45:320:45:37

of an audience and making them think

in a certain way. And also

0:45:370:45:41

projecting an image of themselves. I

never like grandstanding in music,

0:45:410:45:46

in rock, stadium rock. That's where

I don't like it, because it's

0:45:460:45:52

that... You almost get the sense

there is an element of a mess I

0:45:520:45:56

annex complex that has crept in.

Imagine if we did this show live

0:45:560:46:03

every night to 80,000 people that

were going, Portillo, Portillo.

That

0:46:030:46:11

would be five.

It would be

wonderful!

It would, but how can it

0:46:110:46:16

not get into your head and start

making you think, I can control

0:46:160:46:20

these people, they will do my will.

0:46:200:46:27

The assumption that if you can act

play guitar, you are qualified to

0:46:270:46:31

make big, broad political

statements, that this is somehow

0:46:310:46:35

empowering you to do this, qualify

you to do this.

Is it wearing thin?

0:46:350:46:43

Because of social media, everybody

has the platform to express that

0:46:430:46:47

view. In the 80s, people with

guitars and microphones, they were

0:46:470:46:51

doing that.

0:46:510:46:57

doing that.

It has been more of an

American thing. When you look at the

0:46:590:47:02

film stars coming out strongly for

the Democrats and compared with big

0:47:020:47:05

names that we have here, we

sometimes have TV people with their

0:47:050:47:11

own celebrity. When you have Jessica

Lange, Robert De Niro, these are big

0:47:110:47:16

stars coming out. But I suppose I

look at somebody like... Take

0:47:160:47:21

somebody like Leonardo DiCaprio, you

don't hear much about it but he does

0:47:210:47:23

a huge amount putting personal

wealth into environmental causes.

0:47:230:47:27

But he is not up there all the time

talking about it.

We are running out

0:47:270:47:31

of time, for reasons which people

who were with us from the start will

0:47:310:47:39

understand.

I love him.

What are you

up to now?

I am on a tour, I am

0:47:390:47:47

doing two gigs, I could do with

shifting some tickets, I am doing

0:47:470:47:54

shows in Manchester and Poole.

And

no grandstanding?

He is talking to

0:47:540:48:00

that taxi driver now! What a drive

that is.

Let's hope it is not a long

0:48:000:48:06

one.

0:48:060:48:08

That's your lot for tonight,

folks, but not for us.

0:48:080:48:10

We're off to Loulou's,

for a late-night poetry

0:48:100:48:12

reading by the Chancellor.

0:48:120:48:13

Because, ever since he admitted

Dr Seuss's Cat in the Hat

0:48:130:48:16

was his favourite book,

Spreadsheet Phil has been inspired

0:48:160:48:18

to set next Tuesday's

Spring Statement to rhyme.

0:48:180:48:20

And we've managed to obtain

an exclusive extract.

0:48:200:48:22

Are you sitting comfortably?

0:48:220:48:23

Then I'll begin.

0:48:230:48:25

"For we looked and we saw,

that incredible chap,

0:48:250:48:27

"the Treasury's main man,

the Cat in the Hat.

0:48:270:48:30

"And in his red box,

he had ideas a-cobbled,

0:48:300:48:33

"which he wanted to use in case

the economy wobbled.

0:48:330:48:36

"Oh, might there be answers

on pensions and care?

0:48:360:48:39

"Austerity eased,

a society more fair?

0:48:390:48:42

"Less tax on green eggs,

investment in ham?

0:48:420:48:44

"Or would it, or could it,

be a horrible scam?"

0:48:440:48:46

Nighty-night.

0:48:460:48:51

Don't let the Michael's

mud bath bite.

0:48:510:48:54

Oh, shorts off.

0:49:000:49:02

And the attendants are

strict disciplinarians.

0:49:020:49:04

THEY SPEAK CZECH

0:49:050:49:08

I'm telling her

that it's very, very good.

0:49:190:49:22

Actually, there is a fearful

smell of rotten eggs,

0:49:220:49:25

and underneath me there's all this

really sticky, muddy stuff.

0:49:250:49:27

Look at that.

0:49:270:49:35

But it feels soft and it's meant

to do you lots of good.

0:49:370:49:40

Good for the skin, good

for the bones, good for the joints.

0:49:400:49:44

I'm really pleased I'm here.

0:49:440:49:47

A lady wearing rubber

boots and rubber gloves.

0:50:000:50:02

This does not look like good news.

0:50:020:50:08

I'm now lying in very warm mud

and the lady with the rubber gloves

0:50:140:50:21

has begun fairly intimate massage

using warm mud.

0:50:210:50:27

And, as they say in the movie

business, it's a wrap.

0:50:300:50:33

Download Subtitles

SRT

ASS