Cam-drin yn y cartre' Y Byd ar Bedwar


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-My name is Catrin Cooper.

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-I'm 32 years old

-and I have been beaten.

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-On average in England and Wales...

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-..two women are killed by their

-partner or ex-partner every week.

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-Tonight, we follow Catrin

-as she meets others...

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-..who have been

-in violent relationships.

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-I'm 26, I'm gay

-and I have been beaten.

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-With domestic abuse prosecutions

-in Britain at an all-time high...

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-..we hear the story

-of a Caernarfon mother...

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-..who was injured so badly

-by her husband...

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-..that her speech remains impaired.

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-My name is Fiona.

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-I have six lovely children

-and my husband almost killed me.

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-Just after 10.00am on a Sunday

-morning in London last month...

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-..over 200 supporters

-of the charity Refuge...

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-..set off on a 10k sponsored walk

-across the city.

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-It's a beautiful day today,

-in the sunshine...

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-The aim was to raise awareness

-of domestic abuse.

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-Domestic abuse

-can mean the abuse of a partner...

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-..a family member

-or someone close...

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-..and can be physical, emotional,

-psychological, sexual or financial.

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-This is Catrin Cooper's

-second such walk.

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-Two years ago, she told police...

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-..that she had been beaten

-while she lived in London.

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-Only talking to other people

-on social media...

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-..gave her the strength

-to do something about her situation.

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-I found other people

-on the Internet and social media.

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-That did a lot to help me

-understand what happened...

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-..and how I felt at the time.

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-I definitely now feel

-like giving something back...

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-..and to also be

-a part of this community.

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-Her relationship with the man ended

-when he moved abroad.

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-Catrin moved back home

-to Anglesey...

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-..because she couldn't cope

-with staying in London.

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-I was a mess.

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-I spent a period of six months...

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-..trying to deal with it by myself.

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-I don't recommend that to anyone.

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-It was the most difficult time

-I've ever experienced.

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-But to be fair, it was a tough time

-for everyone around me as well.

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-She couldn't leave her house

-because she didn't feel safe.

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-Even going to the beach at the end

-of the garden was too much for her.

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-She was under medical supervision...

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-..and was diagnosed with PTSD,

-post traumatic stress disorder.

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-A lot of bad dreams.

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-Panic attacks...

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-..which mostly happened to me

-during the night.

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-During the day, the most tiring

-thing was the flashbacks.

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-It was just like...

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-..you'd hear something

-or someone would say something...

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-..and it brought the memories back.

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-I could swear

-that I was seeing it all over again.

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-The police got a warrant

-against the man...

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-..but couldn't arrest him

-because he had moved abroad.

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-Catrin is still pressing

-to get him to stand trial.

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-Over the past two years,

-there have been times...

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-..when she has questioned

-her reason to live.

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-There were days

-when I told my family...

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-..that I didn't want

-to be here any more.

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-Now that I'm better...

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-..there's a lot of guilt about that.

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-I feel so guilty.

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-That's the worst thing.

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-That's the worst thing for me.

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-That any person I love

-had to hear me say...

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-..that I didn't want to.

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-Fiona Parry lives

-across the water in Caernarfon.

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-In September 2015, while walking

-her children to school...

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-..her husband almost killed her.

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-They had been married

-for 16 years...

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-..but the relationship

-had been fiery from the start.

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-Before I married him,

-he burnt my face with a poker.

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-At a wedding,

-I lied to my whole family...

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-..telling them that a lighter

-had blown up in my face.

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-But he had put the poker

-in the fire and burnt me.

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-He wanted to mark me, to scar me,

-so that no-one else would have me...

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-..because he said I was too pretty.

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-Under pressure from her husband...

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-..Fiona severed ties

-with family and friends.

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-Their marriage remained violent...

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-..but she says

-she stayed with him...

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-..because he had

-so much control over her.

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-I try to tell people

-that whatever he did to me...

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-..he could get around me,

-soft-soap me, every time.

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-"I'll change, I'll change."

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-He was like that every time.

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-Because I had no family

-to support me...

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-..he knew that I'd go back to him,

-take pity on him.

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-And that's what I've always done.

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-Fiona Parry has six children.

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-Her eldest son from her first

-marriage recalls hearing the abuse.

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-Even though he sent us upstairs...

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-..I could still hear Mam shouting.

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-Begging him to stop, in a way.

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-Iwan and his sister Sarah moved

-to their aunt's when he was seven.

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-He only visited his mother

-when his stepfather was out.

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-For years, I blamed Mam,

-but now I know you can't do that.

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-It wasn't her fault.

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-She was trying to protect us.

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-She never did anything wrong to him.

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-She'd never provoke him...

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-..to deserve to be beaten.

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-She never would have.

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-That's the worst thing about it.

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-Getting hit

-when she didn't deserve it.

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-The four youngest children still

-lived with Fiona and her husband...

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-..but they all spent

-several nights in a refuge...

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-..when violence flared up at home.

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-She just wanted to keep him happy.

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-That's why she didn't leave him.

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-She was afraid of what he'd do...

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-..not just to her

-but to the children as well.

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-There was no...

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-Once he went, there was no control

-over what he could do.

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-It was like a switch in his head.

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-He just...

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-One minute,

-he was perfectly fine, then...

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-If he wanted to do something,

-he wouldn't stop.

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-This is Sylvan Maurice Parry...

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-..Fiona's husband

-and an 18 stone weightlifter.

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-Fiona stayed with him

-through everything.

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-She even took him back...

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-..after he was jailed

-for three years for attacking her.

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-But on 3 September last year,

-he went a step further...

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-..while they walked

-their children to school.

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-He hit Fiona to the ground,

-then kicked and stamped on her head.

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-He told Sarah, "If I were you,

-I'd pick up the kids from school.

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-"I've killed your mother."

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-Sarah ran out

-in her pyjama shorts...

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-..and Maurice went over

-to his mother's house.

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-She was flown by air ambulance

-to a specialist unit in Stoke...

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-..where she spent four weeks

-in a coma.

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-The injuries to her brain mean that

-she has no memory of the attack.

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-But three of her children...

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-..then aged one, four and eight,

-witnessed the beating.

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-He was an animal.

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-Vile.

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-He was the most monstrous,

-vile scumbag in the world.

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-Do you know what?

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-If he had a heart, he wouldn't

-have done what he did to me...

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-..what he did to his children.

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-Beating their mother,

-killing her in front of them.

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-If he wanted to do it,

-why not do it in the house?

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-No, he had to do it

-in front of his kids.

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-Kids he was supposed to love.

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-I won't say any more about him.

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-He was scum.

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-I wish he was dead.

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-In part two, Catrin meets a gay man

-who was beaten by his partner.

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-I sat on the ledge of that bridge...

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-..and I was ready to jump...

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-..because I'd had enough of him.

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-She also comes face to face with

-a man who abused his wife for years.

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-.

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-Subtitles

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-Catrin Cooper is on a tour...

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-..to raise awareness

-about the effects of domestic abuse.

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-She says she suffered PTSD after

-being beaten and emotionally abused.

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-She now wants to help others.

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-Many people contacted her...

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-..after she wrote about

-her experiences on social media.

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-Today, she is meeting one of them.

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-He isn't ready to show his face...

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-..but like 700,000 other men

-in England and Wales...

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-..he says he was beaten

-by his partner.

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-How was it at the beginning?

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-Everything was fine

-during the honeymoon period.

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-We had been on holiday

-with each other.

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-Two years into the relationship,

-he cheated on me.

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-It went downhill from then on.

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-He says his former partner wanted to

-control every aspect of his life...

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-..who his friends were

-and what he did.

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-He also took his wages

-to control his finances.

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-Over time, he then became violent.

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-We were on holiday when he

-first hit me, giving me a black eye.

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-When I got back, people asked me

-what happened but I just lied.

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-I told them

-I'd walked into something.

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-He had so much control over me.

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-It was my fault, basically, and

-I had to apologise in the morning.

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-Looking back on that period,

-he can't understand why he stayed.

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-It felt

-like he had been brainwashed.

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-Were you able to talk to anyone at

-the time about what was happening?

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-No, I didn't want to appear weak.

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-Being a man, especially...

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-..you have to have this masculinity.

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-He says he was punched and throttled

-regularly over two years.

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-It was always worse

-after his partner had been drinking.

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-There is one night in particular

-that he remembers.

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-I ran out of the flat.

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-Near the flat, there was a bridge

-over a railway track.

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-I sat on the ledge of the bridge...

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-..and I was ready to jump.

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-I'd had enough of him.

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-He pulled me off the bridge and

-started to strangle me on the floor.

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-Then the police arrived.

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-When I was in hospital,

-he started to text me.

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-He wanted me to come home

-and to move in with him...

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-..and for some reason, I did.

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-One minute

-I was ready to kill myself...

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-..and the next minute,

-I was moving in with him.

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-He had started a career

-as a shop manager...

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-..but he had to leave one job

-because his partner told him to.

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-There were so many other nights when

-I had packed my bags ready to leave.

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-For some reason, I waited for him

-to return to see the packed bags.

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-You expected him to say...

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-..sorry.

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-He never did. I always said sorry.

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-If it makes you feel better, I said

-"thank you" after he hit me once.

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-The thing is, your mind

-is just all over the place.

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-You never react

-in a normal, sensible way...

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-..because the situation itself

-is so nuts.

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-The relationship ended

-after four years.

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-Since then, he has suffered

-from regular panic attacks.

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-What advice would you give

-to someone in the same situation?

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-Walk away.

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-Tell someone you are close to.

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-The main thing is to walk away,

-to get out of it.

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-It's not healthy

-to be in that kind of relationship.

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-On average,

-police in England and Wales...

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-..are called to a domestic abuse

-incident every 30 seconds.

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-But why do people

-beat their partners?

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-One man who was prosecuted

-for beating his wife...

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-..agreed to meet with Catrin.

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-He's been

-on an offenders' programme.

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-Because he has children,

-he wanted to hide his face.

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-I'm curious to find out...

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-..what life was like before

-this scheme that you've been on.

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-It was extremely volatile...

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-..to the nth degree all the time.

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-There was no happiness in my life.

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-You know, I've held my wife

-up by her neck up to a wall...

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-..spitting in her face with anger.

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-I've thrown her to the ground

-when I've been angry at her.

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-And I'm twice the size of my wife.

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-He has been found guilty

-of attacking his wife...

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-..and of criminal damage

-after he smashed up a fence...

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-..following an argument.

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-When you and your wife

-would argue...

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-..what was going through your mind?

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-How dare she question me.

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-I've worked all week and all she

-does is nag me when I come home.

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-I come in on a Friday, and I can

-feel the tension in the house.

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-I just want to go back out

-and go on the lash.

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-How did you justify that

-to yourself?

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-Now, I'm appalled.

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-The couple separated and he didn't

-see his children very often.

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-They were dark times and he jumped

-from a bridge in a suicide attempt.

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-After a period in hospital...

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-..he joined the charity Relate's

-Choose 2 Change scheme...

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-..for domestic abusers.

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-I walked in there just like

-the old, arrogant me, thinking...

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-"They can't teach me anything.

-I can't learn anything from this."

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-It took Choose 2 Change...

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-..to make me start

-pointing the finger at myself...

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-..and not at other people.

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-For years, I would blame

-everyone else for my actions...

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-..and not actually look at myself.

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-After being on the scheme

-for two years...

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-..he is back in the family home

-with his wife and two children.

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-He hates what the children

-have witnessed.

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-A relationship

-is not a boxing match.

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-I'd tell anyone who's

-in a relationship that I had...

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-..you need to re-evaluate

-what you want out of life.

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-Domestic violence can kill...

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-..and does kill two women

-every single week in the UK.

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-I could have killed my wife

-quite easily.

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-In Caernarfon, Fiona Parry

-was almost killed by her husband.

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-She says that in some ways, the

-attack was a blessing in disguise.

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-What he did to me on that day

-made it a terrible day...

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-..but I'm glad

-what he did too in one way...

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-..or I'd still be

-with the ugly pig.

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-Sylvan Maurice Parry was jailed

-for life for attempted murder.

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-However, he could be out

-in seven and a half years.

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-I'm petrified.

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-I know he'll come looking for me.

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-I've known him for 16 years

-and I know.

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-It doesn't matter

-that he'll be sixty-odd coming out.

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-I know he will.

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-He will still think that he has a

-hold on me for the rest of his life.

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-Following the attack,

-Fiona's heart stopped twice...

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-..and surgeons

-had to drill holes in her skull...

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-..to release the pressure

-on her brain.

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-I'm glad I'm here with my kids...

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-..and they're not putting flowers

-on my grave.

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-A year after the attack,

-Catrin went to visit Fiona.

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-Hiya.

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-Hiya.

-

-Thanks for seeing me.

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-Thank you.

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-Having heard about

-her horrific experience...

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-..she was keen to see

-how she was coping.

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-How has the past year

-been like for you?

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-What I've been through

-has been horrible...

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-..but I've done so well in a year

-to get to where I am today.

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-I keep thinking I'm the same

-as I was before.

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-I keep thinking about the Fiona

-from two years ago...

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-..who was fantastic.

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-Now I'm on the road to recovery

-from a brain injury.

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-I want to be the woman I was before,

-but I can't.

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-Did you ever think he was capable

-of doing what he did?

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-No.

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-I never thought

-he'd do what he did to me.

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-I had been beaten by him

-and taken it, whatever.

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-But what he did to me this time

-was horrendous.

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-He should never have done it.

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-If he had only just beaten me

-like he'd done before.

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-After all,

-I didn't deserve it anyway.

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-No-one on this earth

-deserves what I went through.

0:20:400:20:43

-She now wants a divorce.

0:20:450:20:47

-But she can't hide from the tattoos

-bearing his name on her body...

0:20:480:20:52

-..something else he insisted upon

-over the years.

0:20:540:20:57

-How does it feel to see his name?

0:21:000:21:03

-Disgusting.

0:21:030:21:04

-I have to get rid of them.

0:21:040:21:06

-It makes me angry to see them.

0:21:060:21:09

-His name is just a thing.

0:21:090:21:11

-How many tattoos of his name

-do I have?

0:21:110:21:15

-Some of the tattoos bearing his name

-don't bother me...

0:21:150:21:19

-..because I can't see them.

0:21:190:21:20

-I can see some of the others

-when I'm doing things.

0:21:210:21:24

-I want to get rid.

0:21:250:21:26

-Disgusting.

0:21:270:21:28

-What do you hope for in the future?

0:21:300:21:33

-First of all,

-I want the kids to be OK.

0:21:340:21:37

-I want to get better.

0:21:370:21:39

-Maybe in the future,

-I'll be with someone else...

0:21:390:21:42

-..with a man that respects me.

0:21:420:21:44

-It's about trusting a man

-after what I've been through.

0:21:450:21:50

-If that's possible.

0:21:510:21:53

-You will.

0:21:560:21:57

-You're doing really well.

0:21:570:21:59

-I will survive - that's what I say.

0:22:060:22:09

-Domestic abuse affects a quarter

-of women and one in six men.

0:22:130:22:18

-Catrin says that the stigma attached

-with it still keeps sufferers quiet.

0:22:190:22:24

-When I first came home, I was given

-some bad advice from a colleague.

0:22:240:22:30

-They told me to take time out,

-but to do it quietly.

0:22:300:22:34

-I remember thinking,

-"Why am I doing this quietly?"

0:22:340:22:37

-I didn't have anything to be ashamed

-of, I didn't ask for this to happen.

0:22:370:22:41

-Catrin's aim

-is to change this perception...

0:22:450:22:49

-..and to prevent other people

-from suffering the same pain.

0:22:490:22:54

-Make sure you tell someone.

0:22:560:22:57

-The more you talk about what's going

-on and hear it spoken out loud...

0:22:580:23:02

-..the more you realise

-it's blinking wrong.

0:23:020:23:05

-You can then understand that you

-shouldn't be in that situation.

0:23:050:23:09

-No-one should be.

0:23:090:23:10

-My advice would be to speak

-with someone, just one person.

0:23:110:23:15

-Just try it.

0:23:150:23:17

-Next week, we're on the road

-with the police...

0:23:190:23:22

-..as they try to reduce the number

-of motorcyclists killed on the road.

0:23:220:23:26

-He's reacted

-but his friend has carried on.

0:23:260:23:29

-We also hear from those

-who have lost loved ones.

0:23:300:23:33

-I don't want any other mother to

-go through what we've been through.

0:23:340:23:39

-It was so hard, and still is.

0:23:390:23:40

-S4C Subtitles by Testun Cyf.

0:23:550:23:57

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0:23:580:23:58

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